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The X Show, May 29, 2023

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Life as a caregiver for a patient with Alzheimers with special guest Donna Galvan
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with Tony Xu

Interview with Donna Maria Galvan, talking about her struggles with taking care of her mother with Alzheimer's for 20 years, with Tony Xu

The X Show

The X Show with Tony Xu and Donna Xu
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Hosts Tony and Donna Xu

The X Show is where we explore the issues surrounding life, business, and everything else. Hosted by Tony Xu and Donna Xu, we'll learn from the everyman, the business leader, and people who've found their true passions in life while experiencing what the world around us has to offer. Join us as we uncover the X factors of life on our little blue marble.

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Show Transcript (automatic text 90% accurate)

welcome to the actual this is your host Tony shoe and listen to We got special treat for you today last time we interviewed Oscar Galvan who had a roofing company like you in Texas they were interviewing his wife became a police introduce yourself hi my name is Troy. She's going through a ton of hardship in the life she discovered that one day that her mother had Alzheimer's and she made the decision to create a decision to bring her mom into a house and to try to take care of her at how long they will you taken care of for
basically they were like a I don't have a DD exactly, but I think a guy 15 to 20 years that's more than half our life spans and so I thought
like what how does how did it all begin for you you know my mother leave close to me and we were very close and she started telling me that she was forgetting what she was driving or where to turn or forgetting addresses and things like that and I notice also that she was like a forgetting things are changing the name of the of the things and I noticed that something was wrong
I sit and so when did you decide to come in and take a come in and do something about it let me know when did when did that happen to take her to the urologist to have a you know I have a real Diagnostic and they they told me that she had Alzheimer's and at that time she was 62 and it was shocking for me because you know I didn't expect that she was coming. And so they started giving her medications and I was studying administering the medication but she was like a still doing her life in a normal way like maybe 89% and she still could drive and things like that but with the time she starts changing and changing and she was good she was not able to do a lot of things because I was scared that you could get lost or have an accident and things like that
but so when will looking and so when you're looking at it I mean it's
yeah but the classic cultural mindset is that the parents always take care of the kids right and Alzheimer's has is such a difficult situation cuz it really changes that Dynamic on heading out now the kids can have this responsibility of taking care of your parents whose innocence kind of forgetting about themselves so as as you know her daughter
how did you know that she needed that you needed to be the one to take care of her because and when did that dynamically change for you
well I made a decision myself because I love my mother very much and nice I told you before we were very close and to me he was like it was not another I never thought about it honestly I just I just knew she needed my help and I wanted to help my mother because she raised me she took care of me her whole life and and I just I just failed to do it and I love her and I care about her and I just wanted to to do it and that's how I began to you know how did the pending how the Necessities were coming I was attending the Necessities so you know everyday that's that's what I how I I thought about it
so when did you take me to decision to bring her into your family house in the Villa take care of her like you
well what the first thing I did was to sell the house or was it was like a maybe 10 blocks away from mine and I sold her house and I bought a house next to me because she still wanted to have to live independent and have her own house in car and everything that was a hard part because she really wanted to continue her life like normal she didn't accept that you two had Alzheimer's so it was it was hard and the way we I was raised I was racing an old fashioned way that you respect your mother in whatever she says you do it and it's hard for us to tell Mom you cannot do it anymore or you cannot drive anymore because she's going to say you are not telling me what I'm going to do because you're my son or you're my daughter and it was it was a struggling in the end those times and that's why the best thing to do was to move her next to my house and then I can immediately just
steps away from her house and help her with the alarm system because she forgot the the codes and cheaper when she was watching TV the cable and she wasn't in Channel 5 and then she was hearing is static season 2 start at cancer that television is not working so I had to go like every 10 15 minutes to help her in a lot of things and she didn't realize or recognize that she was having trouble and and that's how we begin next to my house and and then then we we got to do got to the point that she had to leave in my house and I had to take care of her in so I really have all the stages of the Alzheimer's from the beginning to the end
and how did you how did your mother feel about that I mean shoes gradually I'm sure I wasn't I'm not sure she knew exactly what was going on why this was happening so how did your mom react when you were bringing her closer because show you what able to better take care of it sounds like a great extent she was she wasn't really able to live that kind of independent life it it sounds like she really wanted you know that's a very good question too but it wasn't it wasn't hard because we were so close that you wanted to be with me so it wasn't hard she said she was happier being with me because she felt secure at the beginning I fight it honestly I'm going to tell you the truth I didn't accept it I'm a doctor in Mexico and sewing in my mind I would like to know I'm going to fight it and so I took her to bible class I took her to aerobics class I took her to English classes I took her to a different activities with friends so I wanted her to
active and I pay a private teacher to teach her English so she can learn a new language so she can you do make her brain work more and that's how how I was as I was doing at the beginning trying to keep track and then raising my two children because we had three children my husband wasn't home because he was but you do all the work that we have is doing construction and he has to be out of the Town most of the time so I was raising my two children and I was with my mother so it was it was very hard for me and more than physically it was physically because I couldn't rest well and it well and anything and I forgot about my health but emotionally you you cannot accept that it's just something that it's against your Dick Clark and you're you're working against a time and and there's nothing you can do but in that moment I could
I couldn't think about it I was just thinking I will fight it and I will win I have I was so sure to do that so I you continue making her doing her normal life you know between you know that's what I thought but then with the time she couldn't handle it and she'll keep forgetting and everything and that's that's where it when when I say you know this is a time but at the beginning yes at the beginning she was missing her house now that I'm talking I'm remembering she was missing her house and I feel so bad that I feel so bad about that because because I thought I should not move my mother from there that's the one thing that I regret because but you couldn't handle it but at the same time I wanted to go back and say to the person that bought the house you know can you give me the house back because my mother says I miss my home like a little kid and I feel so guilty but
you that she couldn't stay by herself because as I was telling you she was calling me every five minutes to fix things to very simple things that you couldn't do because of her condition that's that's an extremely hard decision that may you have a ton of you have a ton of string for the day before imagined I might go through that and since you brought it up you know you're caring for your mom and your own house and your racing free kids and it sounds like it sounds like your husband wasn't home very often in the woods to help out that so I'm imagining all that the how did you manage to take care of yourself at the same time because you I mean you have to feed yourself and you have to take care of your own mental well-being while that's going through because Alzheimer's affect Envy it it's it can be quite an emotional challenge to care for somebody with that
not attack on the fact that you've got kids it was hard for me because I feel lonely I feel lonely for so many years I feel abandoned I felt hopeless and I felt like I don't know how to explain you but it was terrible what did time I I started coughing and I didn't get any help or psicologico help or any help I was trying to do it myself because I'm a doctor I know how to handle it but when you're a doctor you're the patient you're not the doctor you are the patient that you really need assistance you need help and in my case I thought you know I know how to handle it and at the end I could do it but took me twenty years to to get it in and you know I don't recommend anyone to take it by themselves even though you have a lot of knowledge
are you think you have the knowledge about the medical knowledge is one thing and the experience of living with the patient with with a person with Alzheimer's is another different story because he was all your feelings involved family like divorces are beautiful and great prices as you're doing to me and also involves a lot of things that that you have to handle at the same time and you need someone to guide you someone expert that already have cases like these but I thought you know I could handle it
well I mean it sounds like you did a really good job and we 20-foot you took care of her for you said 20 years with Alzheimer's Wing what is the average life expectancy with someone of Alzheimer's normally normally they don't they don't last too many years because I they ended dying with secondary she says like a diabetes or you no different on Saturday they will come with the deceased and the lack of movement and they can I don't know I don't know no more than five years and especially because of the care and they can have bed sores and then they can have a like you say you like infection in your blood is septic shock or something like that that can make you die you of something else instead of the Alzheimer's in at the end dynamic
do baby bed sores because they get an infection and then the kidneys in a lot of you know conditions that comes with the beasts that you know the life that is just being in bed because I did some of them and didn't in bed and that's the case of my mother
yeah that's it sound but you should definitely be proud of yourself cuz it sounds to me like you're saying five years of like to put the typical I choose to buy 4:20 and with no bed sores or anyting as a doctor I'm hearing that you had a lot of social say he had a lot of personal Pride about being able to take care of of your mother so when
so why were you say would be the point that you had to really come to understand it that you needed help that you just wasn't something that you were able to do by yourself and you needed other people to help you with it well honestly I found out after my mother died that's the sad part but I I started to handle the situation like I bought the equipment because sometimes I got stuck in the bathroom with my mother because when I was baiting her and then she was 180 lb and I have to to carry her and then we have like a little step and I couldn't put it in the chair the bath chair to move and I was I was in a strong enough to pull her and and I sometimes Cry by with my mother in trying to go to call the situation but I said you know I'm going to buy the equipment so I about to leave that about everything and I made this on ramp so I can I organize my life
no way that'll make it easier to make it to work just me because I knew I couldn't count with anyone that's what I owed my thoughts where and and then I said I have to make it work and I have to learn to do it myself and I train myself and with the experience and wait with you know doing the things that's how I I develop techniques to move my mother to do with myself without hurting my back or who didn't hurting me and in any way and that's that's what I did and that's that's what I did continually I hire nurse I hire medical assistants I hire different people but sadly they didn't they didn't show it compassion they were just like just doing a work or a job and and I'm very loving person and I wanted them to treat my mother like their own mother and treat her
would respect not like a thing on a bath. Liz is my mother the most precious person in the world and I want them to be I want them to travel to a treat my mother with with the respect that she deserves and I always tell people if Jesus Christ will be sleeping in that bed and was will be sick or like the conditions of my mother how would you how would you treat him and they said they are they always said oh no no I will treat him like you know with all the love and everything in that and I tell them that's the way we should treat all the patients are all the people that are sick with the same respect
powerful stuff powerful stuff
about it it sounds like you were really in a in a situation where you really felt like a like what you were referring to earlier the sense of being low is only you yourself were able sounded like you felt like only you were capable of really taken care of your mother in the in the way that was best for her meds that must have been an immense immensely stressful before I knew that I was doing it with love and my mother you could see her face you could see her face that you had that you have peace and she has moments that you can see her and you when you see someone with Alzheimer's you see their face and you see you see inside the eyes and you see that if there is an emptiness there
but then there's moments very few moments that you can see that she's there and when those moments where it used to tell my mom Mom I love you I'm Donna I love you and then she wasn't there so they were so those precious seconds that I could see that she was there and she could hear me and I think in some ways she always sends me until the end because you can see her face when she heard my voice that she knew that I was going to fight for her I will go into the fen her she saw me several times when I had some nurses that they didn't know how to treat my mother and that I'd I was talking to them know I'm going to try and you I'm going to put you in the in the lift and you cannot close your eyes and I'm going to move you and I'm going to shoot you in the in the rap what's the weather in the sofa I'm going to move you in the bed one side to another side without caring and then I'm going to do it in the proper way and you are so you know the difference when you treat her
and the nurses were very very well because at the end I ended up hiring nurses and at the end they were very surprised because they told me that they didn't receive that in that training they only received the medical training and everything but they never put them in that position like I'm being the patient being on the bed and so they learn to love my mother and in more less at the end of the the last year-and-a-half I think or two years I make a team of six nurses because my mother was already with a feeling too well as with the Alzheimer's diabetes high blood pressure and she had a Cancer and a lot of things that were happening to her that she really needed assistance in medications and cleaning the fitting to feed her body fit into a van at the beginning I was for
years Feeling by mouth even though it took me an hour to give her a meal but I wanted her I didn't want to hurt to be hungry because she's was going to be with the pack too and I didn't want her to feel. So I was I was doing the effort one hour giving her her meals and in your not take having the patience to wait and and make the food like a like a baby food but I want I want it to make it fresh vegetables and chicken grilled chicken so healthy food and and then feeding her slow and give her with a straw on the water so she can drink a little bit and I choked and now until the medical internist doctor told me you know you cannot continue feeding her by mouth because his is she's going to show up because she's she's not swallowing well and they did some tests and everything and I was still like no no no I didn't want to stop feeding my mother was one of the bear
hard steps that I have to do because I didn't want to stop feeding her I didn't because how I will know that she's hungry or not so it was very depressing for me to step in and out until then I was she was with the feeding tube and then my mouth so I was doing half and half just slowly slowly until then she showed me that she said she's not going to cooperate eating by mouth and that's how I could cope that that step. Donegal bought it took care of her mother with Alzheimer's full of a 20 years including bringing her in to his family home it's
are you at taking such good care of your mom I'm curious what how how did you take care of yourself during that time cuz you're talking about all these different kind of steps and how much how much work in a bean taken care of how much time it took how many resources took a team of six gnosis I mean that's a lot that's a lot of different people that's a lot of people that's a lot of different stuff to manage so how did you take care of yourself during that time. Honestly I didn't think about myself I was just praying God to protect me to give me the strength to give me a 48-hour day to give me a 400 year. I mean days of the year instead of your nose 365 that's what I keep praying with it which is not the good thing I'm not and I'm not going to give that advice to anyone and that's that's what I keep doing and in just praying and I didn't think about myself it was a 24/7 work with my mother because
she needed to I needed to move her every two hours one side to another side and a lot of things that you have to do every time you're Moody person and you need to lay down in bed and feel for 2 hours what what is bothering you is a blanket or anything so you know what to do in you you protect your mother so because she cannot tell you if you leave her face down she's going to stay at Faith at face down so you have to do it very well in precisely and that's how it was hard but I train my nurses that I'm so proud of them because they they are you know a lot of nurses came in and I had to say I'm sorry I'm going to pay you a month ahead but you cannot work for me anymore because I want someone who really really do the way I want you to do it I'm sorry so I give them to you and I'll pay you an advance one month so they can find another job so at the end I make a very good team of Cigna
6 nurses that I really love them and I will love them forever because they really learn and they did a great team and sometimes when someone is very ill or about to die I just called them and they go and they help these people they're Angels I'm just sending them your angels and they follow exactly what I what I said and it would the care that the patient the serving the person that's her and I and that's how I did it I did it in what helps me honestly what helps me a lot was it start quilting
quilting helped me a lot and I bought machine I bought the crocheting things and I because I wanted to do to keep myself busy I was working in the office doing office work because my husband has a construction company but he's not my feel honestly it's something that I I don't enjoy I just do it because I'm grateful for what having this work but my field is Mesa medical so bad but then I was working in that and then the field with my husband that we open the company together that's one of the things that we are you open the company with my husband when it was so at the same time and raising kids and with my mother so it was everything was at the same time and God gave me all the wisdom in all the help I give him the glory because he never have and never I always ask him don't please don't abandon me be with me help me give me the strain give me the the wisdom give me everything I need to give me the tools and he always
gave me everything until the last moment and I I can I have to tell you that if he did it he is the one that gave me the strength because I win the moment that I felt lonely and I don't blame anyone I just that's the way I was feeling because I was in charge of my mother and I just thought you know I I want her to be you know the best chicken be until she died and I promised God I will go I will going to do it until that happen and I'm very happy and grateful that I could do it until the end by the quilting and crocheting and the work but the most important things that help me with quilting because I was when you were doing quilting or you doing a project you you'll have to focus on that and that makes you forget
I don't know what to say in English like force you or force you to forget because you have to focus if you cannot lead the project is not going to come to the stress of toll of caring for your mother to the side let list I've seen her quilting room and it's uh quite an impressive organized a lot of machines and she's really that dive deep in the school thing so I can see how much so you can see how much that the quilting really helped you with that it's my therapy I don't have to take any I never took pills for depression or anything I'm about my therapy it's it's doing this quilting because it helps you and also I'm I'm worried about my memory I'd because I have that that Gene in my in my family and I know working your body your mind and in your you know that your hair
open what you eat it helps you now I already lost 40 lb and my I develop diabetes and high blood pressure but now I don't have high blood pressure I don't have diabetes in my mogloween A1C 6.1 which is normal and my blood pressure is like 10 665 and now my weight 40 lb less and I'm doing a exercise everyday three three times a week in a boot camp for people 50 + and then the rest of the day's walk in 30 minutes I'm doing a healthy diet and I'm working my mind using you doing quilting socializing with all the other women that they're very amazing woman I have friends that are from Pentagon from NASA from SBI that kind of woman architect doctors you've universes you have in this field because he's a man
how to make centerpiece so you really taking the time now to care for yourself I'm curious you mentioned before that you didn't realize that you needed help until after your mother had died
so how was it that you ended up hiring nurses to begin with because it's egg in with could you resolve that post hiring nurses was because one of my son was going to get married and his wife was from other country and she didn't have her mom and I I had to be my son's mother in my my daughter future daughter-in-law mother too and I couldn't I was I have my mother so I had to take care of my mother exactly the same way I was to do and I was doing it so I hire nurses I tried them trained them very well and I had them in my phone and app with the cameras and I can see them and I can guide them while I was doing an organized into the wedding because he's in Mexico wedding is something big and do you have to put a lot of effort and take your and I have to take the the the steps of her mom taking her to
to try her dress wedding dress that can video you know figure you know choosing everything to the parade and everything so I I had to to be for my son in for my daughter-in-law to I didn't want I always try to think and try to balance my life but I was thinking about everybody else not me I was thinking I have I'm going to do it because that's the way you were raised like you have to give it all and be empty and that's something that is wrong we are not nothing in that is wrong it's Go to give but they they don't train you to tell you don't you don't get empty you feel yourself and then you can give but you cannot be empty and and give everything because then where you are you're going to do is when you're on the plane they tell you if you would a kid you help that you have yourself and then they get in your life doesn't make any sense but it makes sense because you can think clearly
the little boy is not going to think clear so you're the one get the help and then you can get more help and that's exactly what you should do and in my case I was giving it all in and I might get myself empty but God is the one that gave me the strength but I'm not recommending anyone to do it you know family is just your children will living with you at the time that you brought your mother into the house right yes correct the rest of your family react to that I'm not sure how old they were the time how old would a 5/8 and 12 White young with his stuff happening so I'm even as a 12 year old
I told you it might not understand what's going on right now suddenly Grandma's here and we're telling and she's going to live here forever we have to take care of it now I saw how did they feel about that what kind of impact they have on your family honestly they were so happy because they were very close to my mother always always weather for any anybody keishin and any free moment that we have when she was okay let's go to Grandma let's go to Grandma so for us it was like like a gift being with that with my mom and honestly that help them so much to be kind to be carrying to be compassionate because they grew up with their grandmother like in that condition and they leave all the stages even though they were in school and everything but they saw me not sleeping taking care of my mother and they were growing up seeing Grandma and a lot of experience that they have like a sometimes my mother used to see him on the mirror
and she says look that woman is looking at me tell her to leave me alone and and I was telling my mom know there's nobody there and then she says I are you telling me that I'm a liar and I'm like normal, you're not a liar but and then I have to to follow what what you felt and I said woman you need to leave my mom leave her alone and then she feels protected by me and she says thank you daughter that you protected me and you let her tell her to leave me alone so it was you know now I remember we will enjoy remembering those things that we live with her and my chip my children did the same thing because they were walking and then she saw a mirror and then they said and they felt that they were protecting grandma and sometimes when they could they help me to beat her slowly with a mild you know that like a baby and they even though when they were sad or something they they sat beside my mom and they hug my mom Grandma I had a bad day
hey Grandma and they hug my mother so let me tell you that even though when they have Alzheimer's they give you a lot of strength my mother was my my pillar my strength even for my kids when they come they hug my mom and they they you know they they received it comfort in her presence was like an angel in her house honestly because I don't know she radiates dad and home to see whether a species and even though we have to take care of her but she was like an angel for us and in for my kids if it wasn't it was hard seeing her how she was it to be writing every day. It was a part that was so hard for them they still hurting for hurting. So 12 to 12 a.m. 5 normally kids during that time to not weighing a little too much maybe some food some scrape ankles and some knees and just going through like the trolls
I'm Canadian so I don't so I've heard that American Middle School particularly can be pretty well so how do you think that impacted them as they were going through the stages have extra responsibility of essentially caring for their own grandma and usually most kids the most kids will they have Grandma take care of them to go to Grandma's house and Grandma bake some cookies this year in the u.s. how to how do you think that impacted them having that Dynamic be so different I think it didn't affect them too much and in because I always try to balance life like I said I'm telling you I forgot about myself but I keep balance that you know having the time for my husband having to die for my kids taking them to sports taking them to Canada said we have for birthdays and in having everything but they saw me that I was I had the responsibility of my mother that I was going to take care of her and
when they could help me they could come and help me and I think it's up in them it's on a good impact in some way because they are learning to be compassionate than to do understand this kind of this is because could be outside much could be any other disease and you have to be carrying in and have a tea to our people are sick and to me it's a very good lesson so they can be good citizens in the future and when they have wives and kids they can be like that and teach their children to be the same way and I know it hurts them seen Grandma deteriorating but I couldn't do anything about it if that's what happened what happens and what I will do in and say to everyone that to me is a very important will know we're all going to die but we can choose how to die in in some way because if you take good care of yourself or you do exercise regularly you
eat healthy you do you put your memory you know work learning something new everyday socializing not forgetting about yourself and keeping a balance in your life you can die or anything but not a long this is with a lot of how do you say the effects that the deceased or diabetes or high blood pressure can can give you and so it is very important that you you are aware that in balance your life but ended up in the balance I didn't put myself now my advice will be put yourself in that balance you do you have to leave your life too and and try to do your best but you're not perfect you you can do it but don't forget about yourself because I could be ended dying before my mother it was a miracle that I didn't so I'm so grateful to God that he let me you know you know take care of my mother and tell her
looking back on you know the experience of caring for your mother for so long do you think there's anything that beyond that you would have done differently
what I will do different it's just like I'm saying being aware that I have to take care of myself to in order to help and I will ask for help at the beginning not trying to do it myself but I think it's because you your you it's something like like it's like a wave that comes to you and doesn't give you the opportunity to think they are and you're just trying to move the water out of your your face and you're trying to to swim up and get on the surface and trying to to to survive that you don't think by now I can if I go back and I see you have to take the steps like and think stop seeing the future what is going to happen ask for help for the experts that's why the experts are and and that's how you can organize your life and you can have your life good you know as much as you can if you if you're going to
in a calibrator or balance your life in a in a good way it's possible
so looking at this how did you feel when
when it all when it all ended
well when when was he last day my mother was at the hospital and then she has all the machines you know I be and all the equipment that you can ask in the hospital the best care and in a moment all the machines went flat line
and when I heard all the machines
like making beat that she was she was dying and then that the first my first reaction was mad at the machines at the equipment and I saw that she was already you know Dad and I remember seeing the I be seeing all the machines and I thought I saw her around everything that she had and I just turned 22 to the sky and I just told God God
I get it
you took my mother
because you want her now
and I understand I accept because with all the equipment and everything all the Care that she could receive in there she was having it
but I still with that she took her and that was the perfect way for me because I wouldn't accept she if she dies in another condition because I will be blaming myself because what if I what if I diet or no what if I do this or what I didn't do that because I was in a very strict with myself and then also a table that has a doctor so in that moment to me in person of faith and I I just received the message of God you know that he he needed her we're in heaven in that I did everything that I could do in the earth and I'm very grateful with God that He gave me that. Closing that I felt good as a daughter that I did everything until the end and as a doctor that I have her with all the Care that she could have for the best doctors and
with all that she took her away it hurts me a lot I cry a lot but inside me I had I had a septum speakers I I know I could be a positive way like no no no but in this case I accepted it was like God taking my mother very softly from out of my hands and I trust God and I know she was going to be better than with me and and that's that's what help me then feelings of like she's in a cold freezer and thinking like that it was so hard for me for 4 you know some. And then I keep praying and praying and ask God to to help me to accept that but honestly it was sorry I still miss my mother because she was like my mother and at the same time she was like my daughter because she became my daughter I have to change her diapers and everything so that was my
do those were my last you know my my thoughts and with the time I'm feeling better because I know she's in a better place now so how is you and your family adapt to the southern suddenly you know one day your mom's one day your mother is not hear their Grandma's not here and that's and you passed by you still have all the equipment here you still have all the all the all of the messages of her having lived here for so long so how did they what was the adoption process like how did you how did you move on Wells at the beginning even my children when they got it in there in her room they cry they cry a lot and what I did I change all the the the stage of the furniture I changed in and changed everything and I just keep her pictures like a normal and not trying to try not to to focus and in those moments because
when is going to be devastating for us and we all have the same faith and we we know she's in a better place and she's not suffering anymore and that we did everything I think what give us peace all of us is that we did everything until the last second and that gives you peace you are you don't feel any any guilty or anything because you give it all and you know because you give more than that because your own health in my case it was me and and and my kids now and they always tell Mom would you did everything and I think that gives them peace that they know I did everything for my mother and I think that's that's what he's been giving us peace and I have her pictures and I have an altar with my mother there and and I pray and I just talked to her and you know I just see it like she's like in another house that's the way I think she's in another house but in the big house
you know what I mean that's a beautiful way of putting it with the loss of somebody who took care of a so long that's
that's impactful the matter where you come from what I did what I did after that is when I I focus on myself because one of our doctors that is as my friend very beautiful man he is the one that encouragement you need to take care of yourself because I was like one year like kind of like in the limbo after I lost my mother even though I was okay but I wasn't doing anything for myself and then then what is when he was calling me and texting me you have to do a diet you have to do exercise you have to do this and this and I I started doing that and now I'm at that point that I'm I'm telling you that my health is back my my mobile Renee wants his normal and I'm doing very well and I feel well in the four things that we do we have to take care of herself
a person with a somebody sick or not sick you have to have those things together working and have it like appeal like I you have to take your medication your exercise to be a medication your healthy eating should be your medication you're learning new things is needs to be like a medication and your mind and socialize and balance your life needs to be like that if you see it that way you can do it if you review you think it's a luxury you're in the wrong path and that's how I took it I'm going to do it because this is good for me now is the time for me and now I'm enjoying my grandchildren I'm enjoying my my children and I'm very happy and I am very peaceful because I did what I could do but I will change what I told you that take ask for help at the beginning don't wait
yeah it sounds like it's a while it was a rewarding experience it will holding in experience for everyone it was also a source of immense stress and turmoil for your family besides that you have any other advice that you would give to somebody who suspect that they may have Alzheimers am a suspect that somebody else in the life may have Alzheimers
my advice will be like a take a professional advice go away and do the test that you have to do a call with a neurologist tell first you have to tell here in United States to the primary doctor and then he can kind of Lies you to the channel you to be the neurologist and and they can do some tests and they will tell you what is going on and you can start doing a lot of things before and you can prolong the the onset you know instead of waiting and waiting or or because you're in denial you're not paying attention and you're letting the DDC scroll and it's going to be late but if you do do do do things before you can still have more years you know in good health in your memory and if you change the fourth the steps that I'm telling you believe me it works and and it's it's it's going to help you a lot and in everyone besides your work day
need to have a hobby or something that they enjoy not just work and routine they have to think about them self not I'm just telling you and very clear to whoever you want my advice my my humble advice is to don't don't go to the go to the extremes like I you forget about your family because you're thinking of leaving yourself or you'll give in to everything to your family and then you forget about yourself it's a balanced don't abandon anyone just enjoy your husband enjoy your kids enjoy your family enjoy your your own body your mind just keep a balance that's my advice
after such a such a heavy topic and I appreciate you so much for sitting down interviewing with me
just to end all the good I just the end of the positive though what's could you tell me one of the best experiences you had with your mother doing this time
I'm sorry I didn't understand the question what would you say was being a very one of the best experience that you had during this time very positive experience something that you can look back on Van why you've been taking care of her this whole time
good experience with my mother was like seeing her innocence seeing her transference since the first version of my mother even though it's in her decease you could see like an angel that you had at home and I enjoy my mother so much she was like a very honest when when they have that that deceased they're very honest they don't they don't have any filter and I enjoy a lot and 11 experience that it's important I learned to Value the simplest thing in the world like a sight you can see the side and you can see the iso someone and then you cross your eyes to another side and you don't think about it at my mother
yeah I could see that it to us it was nobody was inside her when she was with the deceased and she has some moments that you can see that she was there so I appreciate that side chick she teach me. Also I smile cheese she was never smiling but sometimes she is MI and every time she smiled once in awhile to me what's up party a big party and enjoy a smile another thing when when she went to the number to to to the bathroom I make have a party because sometimes it was hard for her to the door number two because she was not moving even the wise why was moving her every two hours pulling her in a sofa and moving her and have a special bed and everything and medications and you name it and it was hard so every time she she went to the number to we were you know so happy and making a party because she was doing that and we take for granted all those
stinks and when she swallow the food you swallow your food so swallowing smiling being it with your new look in your eyes being the person they're showing your feelings that she's there those are the good things that you teach me and I value every single thing that human being do because of my mother so there was a positive thing
well thank you so much for joining us here on the X show that I was a powerful moving experience experience thank you for tuning in listeners and we'll catch you next time thank you

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