Skip to main content

Bringing Intimacy Back, 04/03/2021

This content is restricted. You need to subscribe to watch/listen.

This content is restricted. You need to subscribe to watch/listen.

Show Headline
Bringing Intimacy Back
Show Sub Headline
with Dr. April Brown and Dr. Kelly Bushey with guest Shonda Mallory

Bringing Intimacy Back with Dr. April Brown and Dr. Kelly Bushey with guest Shonda Mallory

Guest, Shonda Mallory

Guest Name
Shonda Mallory
Guest Occupation
Radio Personality
Guest Biography

Shonda is the voice behind radio personality Mallory J from 1075 Jamz FM, home of the Ricky Smiley Morning Show and DL Hugley in the afternoons. She’s been in radio for over 10 years in Milwaukee, Wisconsin and 2 years in Charlotte NC before coming to Fort Myers. Hear Mallory J on her mid-day show from 10 am – 3 pm.

Bringing Intimacy Back

Show Host

As we look around in this world today, it seems we are becoming more disconnected from one another, even though we have the technology to connect to more and more people than ever before. Furthermore, the lack of intimacy (in its many forms) is one of the top three reasons why relationships struggle and many times end.

Thus the Bringing Intimacy Back talk show is a show dedicated to inspire, enlighten, and encourage intimate connections. This show provides an engaging atmosphere to discuss and demonstrate ways to enhance intimacy in one’s personal relationships with significant others, families, friends, Higher Power, and oneself. The show will discuss intimate connections in many different forms, such as sex, communication, emotional, physical, health, and spiritual. In fact, research has shown that as we increase our intimate connection with ourselves, our Higher Power, and others.  It will help decrease the conflicts, anxiety, and depression in our lives.

THE MISSION

Increasing intimacy for all has become Dr. April’s mission. The mission statement of the show is to provide an atmosphere to discuss and demonstrate ways to increase closeness in one’s personal relationships with significant others, families, friends, Higher Power, and oneself. Therefore, Dr. April started in February 2018 to host her own new Radio/TV Show Bringing Intimacy Back where she and other intimacy experts will provide resources and tips on increasing intimacy in all types of relationships. Audience members will be able to transform their relationships through relationship experts’ insights, useful and practical resources, role-playing, and audience participation. The show’s goal is to show its audience members that intimacy can be alive and real in the relationships we desired.

Show Transcript (automatic text 90% accurate)

welcome to the bring intimacy back show we are intimacy is real if you desire to intimately connect with yourself your significant other children and family friends community and your higher power this show is for you. We explore intimate topics inspiring life story spirituality and insightful tips on strengthening relationships this show is hosted by dr. April and her tell those dr. Kelly now let's get this episode of the bring intimacy back show started because we share with you the secret power to intimacy to create a life you love or love the life you create now here's your host dr. April Kelly welcome to the bring it's Misty back show where intimacy is real
all right how dr. Kelly how are you doing I'm doing pretty terrific I'm so excited cuz this month is women's history month so it is a powerful man you know that right it is yazz definitely and in women's history month we have a lot of people coming on that are empowering and today of course we're talking about music with intimacy and also kind of brought you know some of us can relate to I'm getting to that age is dating at 50 so I'm so excited about Today Show
I am as well and I'm I'm 54 I'm halfway through the 50 so I'm ready to listen to that are very first segment is
romance in Opera I truly do want to hear about romance and Avril I can't wait for today yes but I didn't even know that you played and a guitar yes I took it off for a little bit and it it looks great on the knee but I really just know how to strum okay plumbing and looks yes yes before we definitely get started on the show the one thing that I did I want to empower people as we have also a new nonprofit that I want to highlight and it's called freely given is a non-profit for empowering women on the standby good friend of my parents peers and in this what they do with Empower women and they put on mentors associated with women and
girls and they have a program call Fort Myers Dog Track where they actually walk and they work on healing and dealing with the mind body and spirit so if anyone's interested your learn more about it's on my website visits really give inc.com Philly give inc.com and the phone number is 239-226-0964 so I wanted to talk to you about a gas today she is someone very special and dealing with intimacy and Opera in the music thing I would like to welcome Bridgett Cooper Welcome Bridget
thank you so much you know what doctor April I am so proud of you I just want to share that with you you are just a Trailblazer in your field and I've been reading a lot about what you've been doing your efforts you are just everything in the importance about building relationships and maintaining them and people that is really something that people have to learn and be coached at Austin * I mean sometimes it's just we take it for granted many of us but at the same time there are many people out there who I think what day have the tools that you have to offer and this program will offer I think that just gives everyone a foundation into getting along a little bit better at being able to be heard feeling like you're being able to be heard even if even if you're at opposite ends of the spectrum or or a disagreement I just think that I I really
slide this platform and what everyone is doing to promote that thank you thank you but also kind of taking you for granted I didn't know I don't know if you guys know and you go by Bri classical singer did you guys know that owner Productions to performing creative idea and Lifestyle brand she also has on podcast called Harbor for the which is been on season for a while and she has done a lot you know that she's ran your lights on my side was the last year try to get you or you was wanting to the United States Congress did you realize that you yes yes I mean that she's not got music and a lot of gas in Seoul I mean she's intelligent and he's also been named 25 women changing World by conversation magazine yes she is on a mission from this keeping this classical Arts like
for which is why I am so so so proud of you thank you thank you so much I really appreciate that. That means a lot you know it's just it's always nice people say oh you didn't want to you know seek validation from other people it really is it does matter when you work hard and you're not out here too you know it's nice to see popularity or anything like that but it is important that people validate or you feel validated with the work that everyone does you know everyone just wants to feel like oh wow wow people notice that I'm putting in some work and effort into making things better for other people
yes how did you actually get involved into Opera
hi-so Opera from me it's pretty much started at I guess when I was 12 I was in school I remember just normal twelve-year-old and I remember my friends would always say in church like a beautiful voice and I was just saying these hymns and I was like so I will never forget my music teacher at the time she called my mom and said you got to hear her she's a beautiful voice and I was literally just going to music class it was just a basic you know General music he learned some songs I Remember Loving to learn it I Remember Loving that she taught the recorder I took up the recorder really quickly she would let me like try to take beginner lessons on the piano and it was her that I should have contacted my parents and said while she was a really beautiful voice and it's not like a gospel Voice or anything like that like contemporary that you hear on the radio it was really
something that was more like
more like classical and at the time I didn't I wasn't thinking about that but anyway so she said I'm going to give it a solo at our next concert I want you to come here her who's no president never said anything to me about it they just said oh you know we're just going to go and you know
so it went really well and then that was the start of it so after that I remember my dad saying you know that you have a really beautiful voice you should think about majoring in Albay what's that yeah when you go to call is no remember I was in 7th grade at this point so we are are he's already thinking about okay well you know this is what you're meant to do you need to focus on it and all of that so that's kind of how it started and
he always had an appreciation for music you love music you love classical music he was always in the concert choir and college he dated several opera singers what I found out they did Grace bumbry at one point and that was when they were studying at Boston University and I had no idea about that so anyway so yeah so that's kind of how it all started this is your dad was my dad my mom used to be an opera singer as well
I think that you know what I said you know when people say it's so even if you do something completely different if something is like in your DNA you know what I mean like I really think that some things are just kind of handed down from generation to generation and I don't I think genetically yes the voice has a lot to do with it because my mom used to say my dad sang but I also think just to understanding it and how it came into my life has been
kind of just built in already you know what I really felt like there was nothing there were other passions that I had that there was nothing that was really meant for me suffer music and I had to learn it too wasn't like I woke up at 3 and was like oh yeah I'm going to do music and I was really you know I had my own floss too because I was really kind of like not focus and I didn't realize how much effort it took because it wasn't just so I'm going to memorize the song which was easy but then you start talking about the craft of it learning your sight singing understanding what theory is how to compose the song how the instrumentation all of that and that's what people don't realize that part of it learning a different languages how to sing in different languages understanding what the voice types are and and comparing different type of opera singer so it was then and then all the sudden started giving tickets to two famous opera singers who were in town like a
we're just going to go here Lansing price so all through High School my parents would always get me tickets these things or my music teacher without somehow a ticket with end up in my parents had to go see a concert or an orchestra concert or something like that and it just stuck my time is time for me to apply for a high school you know we knew that that's what we were I was going to end up doing something and music and you know just kept kept at it wasn't easy but I kept at it
yes and so I'm with that keeping at it and you have a great voice that it's so intimate you know like I don't know I'm with you. The calendar when you listen to Opera and then if you have listened to her you feel like you're really
there where it where she's singing about you know the saying you feel really intense how do you do that and what does that mean for you as a performer
part of that is training and understanding that one is trying to connect an audience may have never been to an opera into a whole different world and how do you transport the the viewer and The Listener into a 2 hour or three-hour of 4-Hour Opera is sung in a different language than people that's not people's primary language a lot of time so it's about creating that that feeling it's about the staging the costumes how much time you really spend outside of the performance translating a whole score oftentimes understanding what you're singing about in that really plays a role in how you connect with the audience that if you don't know what you're saying about even if it's in a different language then how are other people going to
to understand that and feel that Bridget you know you're going to have to please forgive my if there's any your informing and educating me
I think it's so romantic because he's movies and black ties and red dresses and and then they're like sitting there in a crying or they have sex later you know what I'm saying like
like it's not just me right and it's not just the movies I have not I honestly have not been to an opera in person but you're inspiring me to go so what would you say to our listeners who have never been to an opera such as myself you know that's what my platform has also been about two years ago I created a TV show called Opera lucious and that was literally to connect people who are always wanted to go but it's really far removed while doing really want to sit through 2 hours in the woods I don't understand what's going on and people who were you know is some of my friends a half of lutein
so part of that has been on that and went on my mission to really just advocate for the Arts and have people just like yourself who are interested in that curiosity is there but you don't know where to start so with my TV show what I did was the mission was to basically show people how they could incorporate copper into their daily lives and what I did was I talk to people who like makeup artist we all like makeup I mean if your woman but makeup artist and how you can take inspiration from an opera and bring it into your daily life so we did one segment with the with the celebrity make-up artist who use the Opera Carmen and Madame Butterfly and she literally said how to take your daytime look straight to the theater and inspired by Madame Butterfly and she still
of yours how to put like an orchid in your hair or and talk about the Opera and so the great thing was that people started emailing me say it I don't know what that offer
but I decided
and we went to the theater and she had you know they would send me pictures of someone with a beautiful blossoms in their hair I think the Traviata one time was like oh the braids over to the ride with a flower Carmen with definite like a red lipstick a flower in her hair, red top and the red Rouge so you know that's what it's about it's really about just making that connection and that was one of my missions which with Opera lashes the TV show one of the things I did was have a chef and this is something that validate me as well I had a strap-on and she was making it was elderflower dessert
and she decided to use the Opera la Traviata for her inspiration so the episode airs in Los Angeles I get this really lovely email from of you were just happen to be watching it and she said you know I want you to know that I had a brunch to use the recipe she kind of sweets it's their own but she use the recipe and when her friends and family came to the brunch they had the music of La Traviata she'd never been to an opera before she was so inspired by this recipe and thought it would be so different for her brunch that she decided to have some of the music playing in the background they went to the whole thing she said she didn't say a word to anybody she just said they're like okay this is where you get classical music in the background at Desert time she had the desert out they have a desert like oh my God this is wonderful and I think it was with the Elderberry so a lot of people it's not a Familiar Taste with a lot of people in the United States I think
show me the It Is by for me that was the first time I tasted Elderberry in a desert as well and it's a very distinct taste but it was lovely so she said people to start a snake oh my God is what kind of dessert is this and she said well the recipe was inspired by the Traviata the Opera about the Opera that's what you're here playing now oh my God that's exactly what I wanted and she told me she got tickets to the Opera season the next season they were performing it wasn't like Traviata
he did ask me about a one-act it was hold on
it was Johnny's Kiki and I told her that would be a great Opera just see for the first time and that's what I tell people like if you're into Opera you want to get into Opera see something as a one-act Opera it's really easy it goes by like 45 minutes to an hour and a half usually a lot of times they're very funny it gets to the point and it's just enough to make it up so that was nice I want more so that's how do you spell that and what do you say it's Johnny who Johnny's Kiki and Johnny oh okay you know what you know this because the Aria o Mio babbino Caro you've heard it I know it sounds
so you've heard that I know you have stuff like that people hear this all the time and they're like oh wait that's from which Opera Johnny's Kiki so Johnny's Kiki is actually a comic Opera is very funny you're fighting over a will and it's it's it's a very funny Opera and the character that sings that popular Aria o Mio babbino Caro do she know she fall in love and she wants to explain to her dad that hey I really love this guy you know I really want to build a relationship I want you to build a relationship with them so yeah a lot of people so funny they don't realize that they've heard a lot of this music Porgy and Bess is another one
that's another Great opera it's literally written for African American singers to sing because it takes place in South Carolina and you're talkin about 2 hours or 3 hours but you're talking about drug addiction a drug deal are you talking about entrepreneurship are there is a woman who is her name is Mariah and at first she look like this quirky kind of older character but when you really die set the character she is the backbone of the community she protects the kids she is a business owner in she's an entrepreneur do it talks about no life in this Seaside town on an island and it's it's back up another great one to go see what is an English number to there's some great songs that you've already heard summertime hits from their opens the Opera the summertime something familiar
that's just a set of fun one also course Carmen if you can hear it in English I think that's always a good start anytime you can hear an opera song in English and what I always recommend is go see an opera
that is already like part of a lot of the opera companies have a young artist program go see one of those because not only is it a singer he's like up and coming or just finished college or maybe working a grad program but the Opera is literally meant to engage the community around us so it's often times song in English is a one-act Opera often times it's an offer if it's not one accident is something that is really going to engage people and fine you know and then when you work your way up to Wagner that's what you bring a bag lunch
we're going to take a small break when we come back I would love to talk about the Romantic Era the Romantic operas and maybe get you to sing a little so okay small break and we'll be back in a few moments okay great vacation and Paradise vacation to rekindle the version I vacation without the kids a vacation where you can learn how to communicate where you and your partner actually hear each other in the game inside if so vacation counseling is your next vacation don't wrinkle Brown has created vacation Counseling in Southwest Florida as a perfect option for you and your partner will retrieve our one couple at a time we have a variety of packages available to choose from including virtual Couples Retreat if you and your partner interested in the vacation counseling please visit us at vacation counseling.com for more information on
my thing and packages also follow us on Instagram and Facebook to keep track of the latest news stories activities or coupons on vacation counseling and dr. April's other services we encourage you to sign up for receive a monthly newsletter called intimate connection dr. April brown.com remember if you and your partner are struggling with communication and intimacy I'm looking for a retreat to connect vacation counseling can be your next vacation in Southwest Florida
welcome back to the bring an instrument Sister We're intimacy is real the doctor Kelly and I have been talking with Bridget Cooper about an offer I mean how did you know how much she could sing and I was moved you know it when we started this episode I wore a country hat because that's kind of the music that I knew and I'm like hey I'm a country girl I need to be schooled and I am learning so much Bridget and your humility is just your way to Humble
we can't hear you. Turn the mic of the sorry about that no thank you I appreciate that thank you so much I think it's just I don't know I guess that's just how I am because I see it as what I do and it's almost like a job but at the same time as it's kind of who I am it's who I am and what I do people say that all the time that I'm so humble and I'm like what am I supposed to do bike helmets with bad. I have a lot of friends are like are you kidding me I'd be like stick it all the time and I might but it's a job it's my job it's like when you go to work and then you get home do you really want to take your work with you know you know you won't enjoy it it's what you do it's who you are but at the same time you really have to keep everything in perspective and the business is hard anyway because it's so up and down and especially with my podcast were talking about in Harbor for the Arts with how can I have that and it makes you suspected artist and one of my reasons for wanting to really go
production and everything like that was because I didn't want to be
I didn't want to rely on a person or thing a company to tell me how far I can go and how far I can't go you know and that's when you start you have to create your own opportunities you have to learn as much as you can keep conversations like this going because honestly I never even thought about intimacy and that relationship and Opera until you know dr. April you were you were sharing with me about your podcast was like but then I think about relationship really look like and what is it what is the importance of building that relationship because if you don't then that's why sometimes offer will die in the end it will die because if you don't understand that connection and the importance of it I mean looking at the Opera from the books
about like how they did the instrumentation with the popular songs and they re-crafted it for string instruments they did Billie eilish and I was listening to it they had Ariana Grande's song on there and they just repurposed it for Strings which I thought that's really cool and then that's another way that you start conducting these people and becoming more intimate it's a very intimate show and not just because of the content but how is produced how you relate to it I mean it's very it's about here just mess what Opera is about really and if you think about it back then I mean there was no social media there were no movie theaters that's how people entertain themselves entertain themselves through and through the story of Opera and these characters that were so I can mention earlier you know
It characters that are so forlorn a lot of times I mean each each each voice category has a different stereotype you know this is why I was always after the guy the Tanner has always acted as if it was always after both of them or try to get back at The Sopranos
so you know I think it's this. Yeah and I love all sorts of music I mean I love country music at one point I was just like all I want to do a country CD because I love the judge so much and I thought that would be a lot of fun for me like to do something kind of crossover but yeah I love all the attention they're one of my favorite groups I mean I've always I'm looking for some new music from them hopefully soon
Seguin I have missed them yeah I know right right and I don't know when they're going to get back to it but definitely I hope it's soon I have that feeling you're going to come out with something soon be big to Saturn Toby Keith but back yeah yeah it's so I am really looking forward to them and that was the one thing I will that's you do that lyrics it's so it was you really pick a part of song I'm like oh my God if people don't even realize that I'm like okay there is there's Mimi you know love it then I'm going to love Opera you will a new addiction for me
find something on like do start with just YouTube and look at Johnny's Kiki that's one will your hero me about being ocado you can do turn of the screw which is another good one I love contemporary Opera and turn of the screw by Benjamin Britten was one that I thought was I mean based on the book but it's kind of eerie anyway but for somebody to put all of that into music it's contemporary so you really have to keep an open mind but it's real oh my God is captivating you'll love it
okay I love romance so what is like romantic operas so a romantic time. And what I really want to impress with your in part on your listeners is that when you talk about offer you talk about different genres Romantic Era is one of the genre that you're talking about but it also comes about and what's happening in the news and what was happening in the news and Society even back then so you have composers like we were talking about Johnny's Kiki and O Mio babbino Caro what we're all still talking about La Boheme which is by Puccini on that some more popular one and why is it more popular also because there is that Aria quando men vo and a lot of people as well
but can you think of a Broadway show that was based on the Opera La Boheme inspired by
no that's okay if you can okay it's with ya so when I was a morbid rent was inspired by lava lamp and it basically talked about this a selected group of people are TV musically musical people who basically live together in this one area and you know they all had their different storylines of what they were going through and what it meant and then you have me me who sings the Popular Song quando men vo and the Romantic Era you can tell that because if you listen to the instrumentation it's very what I like to call Maltby I mean they're at the line of what the performer is trying to emote can also be heard in the accompaniment so those long
Li somewhat heavier instrumentation the violins are the longing that you often hear in the accompaniment which is much different then I'll say what the borough's like what you would hear in some of the instrumentation Bridgerton you know it's very broke very light very young secado in a lot of the streams and then you have the straight up classical era have neoclassical you have an arrow through a lot of the German composers did will be called storm drawing which is very straightforward the Wagner very impressionistic. Which change the picture which is why I like a lot of the impressionist composers such as Debussy they paint a picture of with the music itself so not only do you have someone singing about water with the lyrics but you hear the water in the accompaniment
like I mentioned for quando men vo Puccini in lava lamp you get to hear it's the Romantic Era you just hear the kind of long but the music off of moves along with the lyrics that are being sung
and very heartfelt
wow
yeah I have a question I know we're pressed for time but I just have to know what would you recommend to our listeners who are like you know whether it's a man or a woman I need a good foreplay song here
oh wow okay my sexual intimacy oh that's a good one let's say okay there's several
oh I can think of one and this isn't just goes back to one of the Opera Sakura sport him bass you have that song which is faster a Nazario my man's gone now or you have what you want
call now and then it goes to this whole Jazzy interlude definitely in lava Wham the whole first I mean right when it comes in a instrumentation is beautiful that really is just like set the mood there are so many let me think of something else
we talked about Johnny's Keith which is more light and sun
you know who did a
a crossover
kiss kiss of a rose SEAL song remember that years ago
what's a great crossover piece and they started putting it in a new Opera I would love to send you a list of actually I have a Spotify account that has a lot of different opportunes on it which forever like their stuff from for cooking for working out there just areas that are just fun to sing to get you in a looks to feel motivated but yeah a Spotify playlist Cooper
thank you adding more to that now that you say that yes cuz we can actually put that I don't know if you have it somewhere we can put that Lincoln the show notes for sure I definitely yes baby I like you know what is great so can you actually sing us a little bit of something that that you really feel passionate about and that
maybe even represents what represents you okay sure Opera and that building of the relationships and intimacy so me me she sings quando men vo and she's talking about just being kind of a loner by yourself and and what it means to be like when she she walks through the streets and you know she has a reputation but she walks in the streets and it's just her but then she really has a secret behind behind all of it he has a secret that's just hers and hers alone and she likes to be coquettish a bit so this is quando men Vo
stop timer
little little little purse there I'm putting away my cowboy hat yes let's get those judge back here and we'll sink Havasu please do on Spotify or on Facebook both of those are recuperar mezzo-soprano Bridget supermassive soprano and also I did a collaboration several years ago with the young rapper and we did Time to Say Goodbye Andrea Bocelli Time to Say Goodbye
so anyway it was that you singing that and then he had this fabulous wrap underneath of it so that's on the page as well but that's something that you know I really like
getting people inspired about you know the different ways you can bring some of the classical music to life thank you so much for being in the show and so you're saying that you're on Spotify. Yep Spotify you can follow either Harbor for the Arts or you can file a brief super mezzo-soprano you can listen to my podcast Harbor for the Arts and also when I ran for congress I wanted to definitely have some sort of Civic engagement platform so there's the podcast called Cooper and Company and then of course Facebook Instagram free Cooper met soprano thank you so much for being on the show we do you are a hot man
can you run a tight ship Mist are there April in high demand in you so much and we love having you okay thank you thank you for everything you're welcome and when we come back we'll talk with a radio personality that's going to talk about dating in the fifties do I want to listen to that how do I do that I need to I need to seriously take a note wait what's up
oh I will take a short break and we'll be right back okay
if you are listening to this commercial you have a pulse if you have a pulse you have stress you may need a therapist how do you find a therapist
are we go to your phone don't wait what's that go to the World Wide Web you type in therapist near me
can you find a list of acronyms lmhc LPC NCC on Earth in navigate
go to doctor Pelican shade.com dr. Kelly specializes in helping people that struggle with anxiety stress burnout grief and compassion fatigue sleep issues body image issues
you can have help today.
Welcome back to the bring an intimacy show where intimacy is real yes and we just been talking before with Bridget Cooper and music and intimacy and now we have a radio personality her name is Shanda and Sunday will be joining us and Shonda is here in Fort Myers and she does the morning show and she doesn't like it very intimate radio show and she wants to come on or called me in and help is all talk about dating in the fifties you know welcome Sade I think you have your microphone on off that you may not be able to
I cannot hear you yet
now that the microphone thing is still on she's bringing that up I just want to remind our listeners that next week we have Pamela Haiti allow on how to be a safe haven and conversations about intimacy and we want to remind you to also be sure to like us and follow us on YouTube as well as apple and now we're back to is it Mallory Jay is that a Alias yeah that's nice
his many of our listeners in their 50s or close to it and dating is it's different it cuz when your date when you're in your twenties you're looking for that partner to maybe have kids with and all that other Jazz you have plans to go with it look a little different but yeah it's different different easier in the 20s
well the challenges have been that usually men excited in older they want to slow down and just you know relax a little bit they'd rather stay at home and chill or Netflix and chill however we feel like hey it's time to get out and about you know we've been tied to family and our kids and we'll be coming empty nesters so we want to see what is out do you know what is it like to be on the Go I mean on a on a Friday night just be able to just take off and go off to another city or something and you know we're more spontaneous to do things a lot easier
yeah I never thought about that because that's true I may not now we're really wanting to go, and even myself went to go and do things yeah yeah yeah so how do you find someone who can go and moving and do a lot of things if they're all just sitting there watching Netflix I have been on Match or a while and how do young people say the man is a 4 minutes and you're kind of doing similar things that they would do on the other apps and that would be kind of like you know you you had a little bit email then you might when you feel safe enough you know for a phone number and then go out for coffee or in my case is Smoothie I would have you
and may extend off to a dinner date or something like that but they do things of change is just move straight to have the Millennials do it FaceTime you FaceTime for everything and aren't comfortable with that they're not comfortable with FaceTiming They Don't Really Care to use text messaging and so they would prefer to just talk on the phone then it's funny
usually men my age is like 52 I do have a limit what we need to get that to be honest I have arranged like outside 50 do you know a little older or 48 to 50 however don't be surprised I have been
how do you know a lot of younger gentleman have reached out to be so about 4235 dated one that was in his late 30s yeah babe the younger gentleman are switch to use these dating app with no problem the rules right Mallory J the rule is anybody listening here's the age rule for dating you take what your age is a / 2 + you add 7 and that's the only at 7 to that message for me I would be 32
35 and older have approached me and like I said yeah and you know I have adult children so I have adult kids so it makes me a little nervous when someone is a little younger than I am and with a 39 year olds and 38 year olds there like oh my goodness I want to be able to introduce you to my mom and I'm like
mom and my grandma
absolutely not
and that's like me yeah mom is my mom like no no let's not do that right now I know sometimes with some people I've told that it's good to have like a shopping list of what you're looking for do you have a shopping list to have a shopping list of course you didn't lie I think my girlfriend's I like you. I think what I'm asking for someone that's kind of similar to me to a certain degree you know I'm trying to worry about you know making sure that our communities are taken care of I advocate for people in our community in addition to that I have my career and radio which is usually I'm beyond
a lot of potential and then on the radio station soccer brand you know I do that which you know which situation a little bit if I try not to use names that all I'll say he or she be honest I lies is my girlfriend and yeah I'll do it like that I don't use that
is that you say hey just use the name James date you know James wanted to take me out and he use the Groupon true I have another best girlfriend she had a day as well I'm not going to use her and then afterwards they had dinner and he pulled out a Groupon
and I just shared the same thing I'm like well you don't mind a pulled out a Groupon and I'm not really a better because I pray that this person will be will be getting on a private jet going anywhere
it is what it is and it's another thing is because I'm a people person that might be a turn-off and even my children will tell them but they don't know her and then people that I have an issue and I don't like most women do
I've been blessed bad in previous relationships the men
what we eat out most of the time when I was cooking over mine
I guess they're asking you know in covid it's been so isolating that they don't and they not wanting to start today and they're in their 50s how did they even go about doing it
well there are a couple of apps that people usually go to first like I said I'm on the match app there's a hinge however there are person of color blackpeoplemeet.com try to explain to people they don't understand that a lot of the different apps that are out there really subsidiaries of a timer like ya they just is the same thing and they just kind of changed the name and it's more like a Christian mingles and something there's another one that's Harmony is not associated with them at all but a lot of them are very similar that has good quality of my girlfriend experience
dumb like how can I be the best looking person on an entire website I doubt it I'm like I'm like a fisherman I was like hey what do you know and then I'm like a my swiping right when I should be swiping left I didn't know she always has horrible day and I tried to get them on you know it's to each their own they can't allow person a free you know you just have to really kind of value go back and forth and unfortunately
every one of those different dumb
Tinder swipe right and unless you know exactly where that person is I don't like that I don't know if that person know my location location just a bumble the woman gets to strike I thought you exactly where your location is which is kind of tender can you can I guess that's when you need the location I guess yeah where's the closest Kohl's 3.6 my Tinder
allowed allowed people to be able to just kind of like FaceTime they have a video chat that you can if you feel comfortable enough to do that but I just kind of like FaceTime on my phone a video day before you actually meet a person in person
yes I'm here first video date was pretty cool you know you have yellow light bulb drink and then all the sudden prior to the day things are coming to your house
after it it took a while cuz you sharing information you don't want to share too much information for a while before disclosing my relocation. The April not only do I tell them honey I sent them touching I thought about that are the top so I can take a picture of the car I would happen if you know to walk around take a picture of the license plate there's yes and I have three
360 app for my kids need to know where I'm at to be back in the day I will call a friend that was a police officer background check on you that's okay but there's a class that I have discovered lately that help you know who a person really is yeah we'll probably have to do a catfish episode doctor in April but but yeah if it looks good too good to be true it might be but I was thinking about when you were come and get a video one was a video so it was all be a tax it was in the first 5 days and it was a Plenty of Fish thing and then I was like well if it's too good to be true it is
you know and I did a reverse image check and the person had four different accounts with four different names you know where we are in our fifties were dating and if you do FaceTime I would have to say you know
I may look tall I'm a sound tall but I am not tall
nope you have to do now
yeah and one of the other things in reference to the FaceTiming and immediately and just to see how comfortable they are and usually like I said that
FaceTime I'm out here driving and I'm like okay pull over and do it and the reason why is that I've learned that they done that to me I call it catfishing do it for my experience a person if I met at a meeting from their car in their location and
I was like are you coming and they're like yeah sure sure come to find out that they just watching me from behind just to make sure I look like who I look like so we're doing the same thing I'm not a mean person I'm still going to meet you wherever you are but the whole bunch of different pictures and then I asked you for a picture and come to find out you altered your picture I'm a little frustrated when I see you and then I got a lot of you and tell you yes you do look like you do in your picture catfishing
to see you all these pictures and I hate to say this too but yes I do from back in the day they have their service photos
I think I might need help from you you're being honest when I go fishing let's say from the pier and I take two poles because I want to catch fish so I have to two rides in the two lines in the water we call it and didn't want to lose somebody's attention when I said ride but whatever I have two lines in the water and I never catch a fish when I have two lines in the water and never
I have been fascinated by that back because you have to you have to hold it very sensitive you have to figure out if they're interested and that's true on fishing like okay
and then you set the hook so if you have to you can't pay attention to the line in the water you can't set the hook you don't catch anything to my encouragement to anybody dating in their 50s or otherwise is to have one line in the water to know what you're fishing for have the right weight or have the right bait and don't be afraid to wait
cuz you're worth some good advice do in their twenties I'm like okay if I keep my attention the longest good luck to you so well Mallory James been a wonderful having you on the Shelf yes so people want to get to know more about you where can I find you
oh absolutely you can find me a WC KL 1075 Jamz we are home of the Steve Harvey Morning Show midday from 10 a.m. to 3 and that includes as well and of course on Facebook on Facebook I J be Jammin thank you so much you're welcome back anytime yes thank you thank you
yes thank you very much for having me
I really enjoyed meeting you Mallory J I will be following you and I hope you catch your fish thank you thank you thank you thank you it was nice meeting you as well. Have a good one don't forget to follow us on social media we're on Facebook Instagram LinkedIn YouTube Twitter and now even on Tik Tok and we have some upcoming shows do you want to tell us about that. So Cal yes next week we have Pamela Healy allow who is talking about how to be a safe haven and conversations about intimacy and this is one of those topics that we talked about intimacy everybody talks about whether its lack of sexual intimacy or otherwise but it is Spirit cell and sexual intimacy but we're talking about sexual intimacy next week and how you can have be bats
maybe even for your friends and have conversations about intimacy with Pamela heavy loud
but thank you and we will see you guys next week