everyone has their own unique views and needs when it comes to financial success if you'd like to leave your financial woes behind and live a life of Financial Freedom you've come to the right place welcome to the saving with Steve show hosted by Steve Sexton the show will help you with the ins and outs of money we talked about financial issues that could be costing you thousands of dollars and keeping you up at night we talked about money tax reduction saving more spending less 401K risk management retirement and everything under the sun that relates to you having a healthier happy relationship with money now here is your host of saving with Steve Steve Sexton<br>little welcome to the shaving machine show where we talked about the ins-and-outs of money pretty much everything under the sun it relates to you having a happier healthy relationship with money my name is Steve sex and I want to thank you for joining us you know what are listenership is over 650,000 people we have another four hundred fourteen thousand people that are listening to us an internet and streaming I just want to thank you for sharing this with your friends and family I do want to say we have one very special show today it is about the ins-and-outs of money later in the show we're going to have Emily blame but you know I just want to preface it by saying this most engaged couples exactly comfortable with each other and say hey honey can you tell me about your dad well as a financial coach is going to help us engaged couples to talk about money and whether you're married just about to get married been married for a month or two were married for years if you're trying to figure out how these have these conversations you going to<br>stick around for Emily the news people are worried about inflation you have the administration say hey it's only short-lived we're going to talk a little bit about what you can do to position retirement to deal with inflation in fact you should be doing something because inflation is very real and it happens at 3.1% but now I'm very very happy we have Patrick get us I just want to say this for many people who feel they lack the knowledge to handle their own investment portfolios they turned to an investment expert investment adviser to help guide them to make decisions while they advise that we received maybe sit down and be given with good intentions Mindy industry Pros have often self-serving bias has when they come and sit with you at that table while investment Managers generally want to do the right thing by their clients this does not necessarily stop them from unconsciously stealing their clients in the wrong direction that is beneficial to them and we have to get us he's going to provide us advice on how to make an investment expert advisors<br>reveal the motivations of investor professional let me talk to you a little bit about Patrick Patrick's the co-founder and former CEO of Eva. Group of 44 billion dollar investment manager that works primarily with high net worth individuals and institutional visor and Chief Financial Officer at the morning stock he also taught graduate-level portfolio Theory UC Berkeley extension he's also the author of the upcoming book transparent investing with teaches you how to rewrite your brain unlearn what you know about investing to help you create a brighter financial future so Patrick welcome to the show I just decided to have you probably went into too much of an introduction but that's okay if you eat you captured my points really well so I'm probably not necessary even the talk and what brought you to write the book trance<br>investing with me knows I have a particular touchy hotspot around what I consider dishonest selling it's just it's always bothered me in fact the reason I co-founded a pair of group in 99 was because I didn't want to ever have to lie to anybody our firm happened to do well we just got soul I thought you know I kind of do it back to the actual investors that ended up helping me so much by giving a kind of an inside line and how to read the industry and how to avoid the traps while still taking advantage of the great things that France will visors can offer us a bias in motivation of investment professionals I think people need to understand that contacts so they can get a better understanding what's going on call behavioral finance that focuses mainly on investors and actually all first part of my book is about that how as investors how our brains are wired to lead to poor decision but there's also<br>East on how that's what professionals are also basically hardwired through Evolution to pretend to themselves that they don't have any self-interest and the investment advice world is so fraught with conflict of interest of the biggest one is that advisers who has you say aren't generally trying to do the right thing by their clients they really are they care about their clients but the problem is the kind of advice you get just is so heavily skewed ORD what and riches them and I think they tend to be afraid of being really upfront and honest with where they can and cannot Valley everybody craves habits and those habits are hardwired is them from our parents and all that kind of stuff understand oh my God I'm doing this and you can actually make a change and that's what I'd love to hear about how people are hardwired that way all you have to do is know your bias is to make the change it doesn't work that way it's kind of like saying I know I'm eating an unhealthy<br>and I'd be a lot healthier if I really good food that's all I have to do is realize that might work that way for all of us there a whole slew of what are called these documented by a season are Brands good place where I really focus because I hate makes the biggest difference they're two very very similar I had kind of lump them together one is called the illusion of control and that's where we'd why do ourselves and think we actually control outcomes that are in fact more random and that's our natural humans have been you know kuting great powers to ourselves over whether over lunar eclipse is going back thousands and thousands of years so that's nothing new where it gets us in trouble with investing though is where we think I'm pretty Savvy I know where things are going to say well, you just made about inflation agree is a big issue right now I think I'm going to make a certain that because I know how to incorporate that knowledge into making better investment<br>the problem is that the data are pretty clear cut that we're just not very good at that the other piece which is as you'll see very closely overlapping it's called overconfident basically we all score our abilities in investing higher than then we then we actually perform kind of like remember the old Lake Wobegon did the radio show where all the children are above average and that's kind of the problem you ask any investor how good are you at taking things and we will tend to think we're pretty good when in fact the data show all of us investment professionals as well or actually not very good at predicting okay it it's basically a lot of people are making decisions in the reality is they just don't know what they don't know and what they don't know is the thing that causes the problem exactly the kind of humility is what makes you well fear and that just sounds backwards like what do you mean it's really being really Savvy and on top of Market moves know you had a reference to you know we all have habits and behaviors one of<br>people find shocking is when I explained through the research that actually good behavior is what makes a really good investor not clever analytics brilliant Insight it's the things like as a great analysis I just read on Warren Buffett and and how credibly wealthy is and I forgot the exact number something like over 95% of that was accumulated after he turned 65 years of age and other words it's all about compounded hate him and he is a brilliant investor he really does extraordinary things but it's also he just let it ride and that is a critical piece that doesn't sound as on a cool fun insightful and sexy as making a killing but the real trick is sticking with whatever your plan is as boring as that sounds wrong with that if you think about The Compound Effect over 10 years. Zach know that one little habit of doing it every single day<br>is itself and it grows and grows you see that all the time with people that's why people think no hey this person just made it out of nothing and the reality you didn't see anything for 10 years and all the sudden all that hard work just brought him into the public I think it's a great at the great quote people been doing it for a long time and they've been doing consistently but they're humble about it and even when you hear Warren Buffett stock symbol and and the comment you made is also very applicable if you don't even look at it for five or ten years that is another really good habit investing that sounds really kind or two it is not look at your portfolio off a Bill Sharp the Nobel Laureate in economics who invented the capital asset pricing model one of the biggest breakthroughs in investment theory about the almost 50 years ago my co-founder of Perry once asked him how often should people look at their portfolios in his first answer was every five years I can't say that I would just sound crazy about every three years it's so counterintuitive because we we think this is back to the illusion of control I have to stay on top<br>actually ironically the best advice is don't stay on top of it what's your focus and energy up and that's incredibly hard to do anxiety. Money is very real I'm not saying anything like don't worry the stock market goes up and down and if you've lost 45% of your your net worth of the stock market went down just get over like that's a really really hard thing to go through but the math is very very clear that the people who do the best are the ones who write it through who can tolerate that up and down I like to describe it as the market pays you for the strength of your stomach lining and the more you can enjoy that better off you're going to be and what's the secret is it very clever statistical analysis all the stuff I'm trained in these patients and discipline just write it through basically don't do anything until you need the money it's a wonderful statement but it's so so very hard to do and I'm going to ask them when they were going to go to a break the point is you take a look at all the Talking Heads on TV all the financial stuff all the training stuff<br>pornography we call that and I need these big personalities and all that stuff they talked about you old so-and-so said this until it's over and you hear some people who follow the stuff and you find out didn't do very well if you follow bad and so it's just really just insulted this segment is brought to you by score master.com did you know the average American is 97.6 and add to their credit score but have no idea on how to get them the data scientist scoremaster crack the code on how adding 97 points your credit score is like found money I mean fast loan approval huge discounts low interest rates on everything by refinancing a home leasing a new car to apply for credit card how fast is scoremaster one memories or credit score 33 points in just five days 43 points in a couple of weeks or so easy<br>hurry you can get to try scoremaster for free that's right scoremaster for free and see how many plus points you can add to your credit score so go to score master.com savings.com again that score master.com savings stick with this would be right back with more Patrick get more expert advice for having a happier relationship with money still to come on the saving with Steve show<br> don't let your financial woes keep you up at night and prevent you from living a life of Financial and personal freedom hi I'm Steve Sexton post of the saving with Steve show where did he talk about the in an ounce of money those financial issues that could be costing me thousands of dollars causing stress keeping you up at night we're going to talk about money tax reduction saving more spending your investment risk management retirement and everything is so sweet with you having a healthier happy relationship with money soon as you've ever dreamed of living a life of Financial and personal freedom you owe it to yourself and your family to tuna to the saving with Steve show join me Steve section of the saving with Steve show as we talked about everything under the sun when it comes to money to learn more about the show visit saving with Steve. Us that's saving with Steve. Us saving with Steve. Us will see you soon<br> welcome back to the show that is here to help you achieve your financial goals it's the saving with Steve show now here's your host Steve Sexton welcome back to the ins-and-outs of money I want to truly thank you for tuning in and appreciating you and your friends family and Associates know about the show all the replays are available at saving with Steve. Us if you're doing the stories of helpful information inside them staving with Steve and I encourage you to subscribe to our YouTube channel or Spotify channel that way you'll never miss a show like to say thank you to our Affiliates UK Health radio CBS radio talk radio in New York City e360 TV Las Vegas TV network we have Patrick get us here and we've been talking about investing and some really insightful information on what you should be thinking about what questions you should be asking things like<br> one of the things I wanted to ask you the Perils of hidden investment costs could you speak to that Patrick because a lot of people just don't quite get it because these taxes are second to Market Corrections in effecting your portfolio help us understand the Perils of hidden investment costs so there are lots of ways that advisers can get paid investment advisors asset managers wealth managers the challenge is that a lot of those fees are not all that easy to understand or follow for example bid-ask spread when you're buying something in the commission can say free but free I would argue is actually a rather dangerous word and investing because that's often the most expensive type of the other area where fees can be hard to track and therefore good for the investment industry in bad for you to Consumer the 401K world is one of the worst where<br> there are some very very expensive plans out there are also some wonderful very low-cost one and it gets tricky when some employers and a pudding all the administrative burden on their employees were called plan participant by offering only very very expensive Investments and the promise like if you have a mutual fund with a really high expense ratio you don't think about that as you're paying a fee so for example if you had to write a check to an advisor for $5,000 you might think that really hurts at that feels really uncomfortable but let's say the same advisor is charging a percentage of your portfolio and they're getting fifteen thousand a year you never see it's kind of a crew behind the scenes you don't really pay attention to it psychologically so will the point I try to make with these is it can be a little complicated to learn it's the one of the best areas if you're going to educate yourself instead of educating yourself on how to beat the market or time the market actually look at the seaside<br> and it's it's tough to figure it out sometime but incredibly beneficial to you as an investor because back to that illusion of control these that's an area you really do control is an investment you know what I was thinking back while you were saying that to a study that was done a few years and I forget you to the study and it was directed towards the 401K Market it said bit if you're paying 1% and fee and you're contributing to a 401k over 30 years on average that equates to about $140,000 of your lifetime and I thought to myself cheese I can do a whole heck of a lot more with that I better pay attention to that I think everybody listening should be paying attention to that and know those things to make sure they know exactly what they're paying for these every % you can drop that that means more money in your pocket that could affect anybody it's part of why that's harder to do it Amanda great, before the break when you were talking about that's the fastest thing about investing is it actually the right answer is simple but it's not easy because he got it<br> going to have to unlearn and similar with the fees it's really drilling down to what you're paying can a fortune would be quite a challenge I don't disagree with that one I saw one of the boys and I just want to bring this out of gender differences and biases in investing that that's that's really interesting me so help us understand that there's some title one is my favorite is called boys will be boys and basically what researchers have found is women are slightly better investors than men now you might think well that's probably cuz Women are Smarter or can see a broader picture so it gets back to that overconfidence if she's so the fact is women are fairly bad at predicting Financial out well that's better than men men are equally bad at making predictions but unlike women of course all on average I don't like women men tend a little more to think<br> you know what's going on when in fact the dump so no one is really good at predicting but the men we get ourselves in trouble when we think, I'm a guy I know how to do this and again it's the natural inclination to think you know you're smarter than the average bear to call Yogi and it's very interesting kind of Behavioral Discovery in the research again reinforcing how dangerous overconfidence is whatever your agenda because I've got plenty of women and overconfident think they can do better but the back to you you made a comment no we don't know what we don't know and I think women are little clearer I don't know what's going to happen. You're absolutely right but why do you want to pay a lot of money to someone who also don't know what's going to happen that's kind of my angle on that ability to predict future I was just going to say eagle versus humility that I have is doing it yourself<br> is hiring a professional I think interesting I have not seen good advice on that because the advice on whether you should do yourself for hire professional tends to come from to extreme sources the industry and what do you think they're going to say course you should hire us don't ever try this at home or a kind of cynical investment world is all snake oil sales people in should stay away that's really naive and actually unhelpful comment or frame so how should an investor approach that decision it's going to boil down to looking at the services You're Expecting from your fans would buy that one of the things I really am precise in the book is this Crystal Ball ability that's the thing Industries not very good at foretelling the future into big waves what's called Mark heininger what you want to be in Market out very bad track record on doing that the second is okay in say the stock market I want to outperform the stock market's going to be with all active management<br> pick the stocks that are new do better those are not good value added services but then there are a lot that you had value financial planning the kind of counseling of fucking people off the ledge when you're in a market meltdown people want to do something even though doing nothing else to be the best and advisers can be very good very effective at a lot of value and save people money by keeping us as investors from their own worst enemies so when you're deciding whether or not to do it yourself look at what you need I need some complicated Financial Planning and I got some messy trust or whatever that's going to tend to lead you more toward hiring someone as opposed to I don't need anything fancy I just want a portfolio should I hire someone to do that that would tend to lean more toward you can do it yourself as long as you're very disciplined and don't sell out the one thing you do have to pick is what people call your asset allocation I boil at to keep it down really simple terms to<br> what you have in the risky bucket and how she having the safer by the risk if I could gain stocks real estate you want to really fancy other real ass that's Commodities had fun safer of course would be cash and bonds and have some rest but there are generally a lot safer and that balance between the two of those that's the biggest most important call and basically once you pick that it's really easy to just have a couple of index funds are very low-cost bond funds and let it sit you don't have to tweak that you shouldn't and don't don't get into the weave so if that sounds kind of like I could do that that's not that hard you probably can if you're thinking I don't want to and I have all these other sir I need education I need some advice on complicated tax things that you more toward. It'll be on my website in a couple of days ago I kind of a question are you can take should I hire someone or should I do it myself so you can actually go through all that I'm kind of score where you are as an investor and trim<br> whether he's probably hire someone or you can give it a try yourself a member of the advantages and disadvantages to see how to keep that great segue I want to thank you for being here at the information you provided is just outstanding and I hope everybody took it in because I'm taking notes Here not just talking to you you talked about your website you have this book coming out I believe it's January 20-22 called transport her to give us a little about the book where can people go to get on an email is to let them know when it comes out special little notices and all that so the website is Patrick get us. Co. After get a g e d d e s c o right now it's not really up but it does have a place where you can put your email and so the the book is he mentioned coming out January is really about a lot of what we've been talking about this combination of how's my brain wired how does that make me better or worse investor how does the industry fit in a liberal consumer advocacy and then find the third part is okay what do I do how do I actually<br> side and combining all that stuff together to hopefully make it a lot less intimidating as it looks really intended for people who are intimidated by the investment industry and I'm hoping it's a way to kind of be saying that and make it a lot more understandable but that's perfect cuz that's going to be like 80 90 per-cent of our audience so again thank you for coming out of the show sharing your wisdom and experience with us hopefully we can have you come back after the book goes out because it I would love to have you back there and share more of your wisdom again I want to thank you for being here and you have a great day and stay safe love to come back and I like that was Patrick Dennis wasn't it wonderful he gave us the ins-and-outs the questions in the things you need to think about when you're looking to hire a financial advisor I think that was just wonderful stick with this we're going to be right back more expert advice for having a happier relationship with money still to come on the saving with Steve show<br> don't let your financial woes keep you up at night and prevent you from living a life of Financial and personal freedom hi I'm Steve Sexton post of the saving with Steve show where to be talking about the in an ounce of money does Financial issues that could be costing me thousands of dollars causing stress keeping you up at night we're going to talk about money tax reduction saving more spending your investment risk management retirement and everything is so sweet with you having a healthier happy relationship with money soon as you've ever dreamed of living a life of Financial and personal freedom you owe it to yourself and your family to tune in to the saving with Steve show join me Steve sex and out of saving with Steve show as we talked about everything under the sun when it comes to money to learn more about the show visit saving with Steve. Us that's saving with Steve. Us saving with Steve. Us will see you soon<br> welcome back to the show that is here to help you achieve your financial goals it's the saving with Steve show now here's your host Steve Sexton welcome backpack forget us was wonderful you want to go to his website you want to check out that book transparent investing it'll really open up your eyes and I'm very thankful he was on the show to share his wisdom with us now let's just talk a little bit about inflation we've been hearing the FED chairman we've been hearing this is dehler the former fed chairman as well talking about inflation we for the White House some of them say hey it's going to be here for another year or so because we got to get the supply chain going cuz now we're coming back from the pandemic others think hate is going to be a little bit longer and they consider it's going to be a little bit longer because of all the money that's been put into the economy they think inflation is going to push that thing for so the question is how do you position a retirement think about this we have likely been saving for 20<br> thirty years to look look forward to your retirement with the most amount of your dollars Buys in the first year of retirement over the next year's it will shrink due to inflation the annual inflation rate is about 3.1 and it's been like that for almost a hundred years now there's a lot of variances because if you go back to this late seventies early eighties you saw 15 16 17 per cent during the Carter are in fact they had to create a way to slow down that if inflation stall the economy now feeding inflation requires a return on investment at least 46% per year in addition to whatever income is generated are safe now I've got some strategies for you you might want to consider to a job doing to ensure that you're keeping up with inflation whether it's forest from San 3% 6 % or whatever the case maybe first of all I think about considering delaying claiming your Social Security if you're in good health and you don't currently need the cash<br> holding off on claim Social Security is a smart strategy to mitigate the impact of inflation now today full retirement age for retirees are 66 or if you're born passed 1960 is 67 one can claim Social Security as early as age 62 but you have to understand something you're not going to get as much as what you were supposed to get at full retirement age which is 66 or 67 and it gets reduced by as much as 30% if you wait and then say your full retirement age for every year you wake past the age of 66 or if your full retirement age of 67 you'll see your Social Security payment increase by 8% per year it's called the delayed retirement credits K on top of that Social Security cost-of-living adjustment which is an average one and a half percent growth rate over the last 10 years might not be enough to keep up with inflation but there's not many forms of guaranteed income other than your pension you know what it helps with the adjustment and cost of living<br> this note it's very important that you sit down with a financial advisor determine when is the best time to take your Social Security you want to make sure accommodates your situation so if your situation you divorce your widowed or separated okay you have a large age difference what if one of your passes away if you take it early how will it affect when you're older if you wait past the age of 66 and you're withdrawing your how will that affect when you're there is a lot of pictures in a lot of things you need to look at to make sure you select Social Security properly make sure you're talking to a financial adviser next thing is that you'll need in retirement today this night not be possible for everything you need in retirement what a practical strategy for some projects or good you want to buy if you're planning to do construction on your home when you retire, Nate's your lifestyle change such as building a Master Suite on the bottom floor and all that kind of good stuff you might want to do it now because waiting several years you could actually tired<br> result in a significant increase of cost in the renovations you too high inflation if you're looking to downsize considering it doing sooner rather than later before housing prices go up the same strategy can be applied at leisure items you anticipate using freakley and retirement this could be golf clubs A Boat RV purchasing new skis or even a hot tub the big thing here is it is impossible to predict what products will experience higher inflation but my planning ahead getting what you need to do there you could have fewer inflationary concerns to worry about retirement positioning your portfolio to withstand inflation pressures if you don't want to outlive your fun it's imperative to structure your portfolio to El Place inflation we've heard the throughout the industry but if you don't know inflation investing in real estate you can invest in real estate through buying a property and renting it out or through it through publicly traded Real Estate Investment Trust or Delaware statutory<br> as long as you to buy a portion of a commercial building like a Home Depot or Lowe's and receive a great interest they served as good protection against inflation owners of real estate will receive income payments through leases that are often the higher than a bond yield owners also have the potential to increase rent over time and the project themselves may also appreciate as well that characteristic making a natural cushion against inflation physical access to some extent may also benefit your portfolio now having a broad basket of Commodities could also help and it's some amount of milk possibly precious metals both tend to be good safe haven for inflation now if you're looking for something a little safer there's treasury inflation-protected security called tip sell rates might not be too high with chips increase in value in order to keep up with inflation the value the bonds are linked to Consumer Price Index and their principal mounts resets according to his change in the index if the consumer prices in<br> do you need a ride over to be an outpatient inflation so will your investment in the tips it may be worth considering an allocation to tips as part of your investment grade fixed-income allocation now he's can also offer inflation protecting depending upon the type I knew and he is a basic a retirement Insurance you pay a premium at the end of this Earth. You get it fixed monthly payment fixed annuities generally have the big win here why the combination of lower or no fees the security comes with not having to worry about the value or going up or down make it better for both people now there's also variable annuities that offer higher rates of return if the market goes well and you can contribute to retirement but you have to understand each epically have higher fees and as Patrick is talking about that might not make sense on top of that they're very very complex know when the clear losers during High inflation is simply the US economy I remember back in the early 70s<br> during inflation my dad's company takes you to hate where I be laying alone a whole bunch of people off and my mom came to us and said hey look dad might get laid off so we're going to cut back on stuff so here's the thing the FED had manufactured reception to stifle rampant inflation in the seventies due to the Carter era higher inflation can also choke Innovation make it harder for companies to find the funds for new investments in projects as well as hiring people so many Americans know the drill during a recession it's important to Pretoria ties and build up an emergency fund balance of high inflation or juggling a bad time to park cushions are some saving so that means if you have a whole bunch of money right now sitting in a savings account that 31% you've got to understand something it means you're losing money safely cuz after taxes and inflation you probably have less than the balance you put in there at the end of the year so you want to start looking for better eight return one of the strategies is least popular is working long<br> but it's also the most affected for those folks are still able to work there's nothing that will serve as a better had to get some flation working longer in your current job or Consulting part-time will allow the soon-to-be retired could be you delay spinning down their nest egg instead they can use the income from employment continue to maintain their lifestyle they security requires one savings for a certain. Of time so think about instead of retiring as 65 you continue to work or do Consulting for five years that's 5 years you don't have to dip into your retirement so we had a two million-dollar Port file that was just earning 4% that's additional $430,000 when you're 70 that could help you out with inflation okay I know not everybody can continue to work cuz it helps family and other reasons but this is the closest with silver bullet the bottom line and there's several strategies for managing inflation retirement most like a combination of some of the strategies of talked about will ensure that the purchasing power is protected<br> savings is a drawn down too fast this segment is brought to you by scoremaster did you know the average American is 97.2 get added to their credit score but no idea how to get them the data scientist scoremaster of crack the code on how you do adding 97 points to your credit score is like found money it means fast loan approvals huge discounts lower interest rates on everything from buying or refinancing a home the leasing a new car to apply for a credit card how fast is square Master One member raise your credit score by 33 points in just five days another 43.22 weeks scoremaster so easy takes about a minute to get started and if you hurry you can get to try scoremaster for free that's right try-scorer Master for free and see how many plus points you can add your credit score go to score master.com savings that score master.com again that score master.com we're going to go to stick with this<br> right back for Emily blame more expert advice for having a happier relationship with money still to come on the saving with Steve show<br> don't let your financial woes keep you up at night and prevents you from living a life of Financial and personal freedom hi I'm Steve Sexton post of the saving with Steve show where did he talk about the ins-and-outs of money those financial issues that could be costing me thousands of dollars causing stress keeping you up at night we're going to talk about money tax reduction saving more spending on your investment risk management retirement and everything is so sweet with you having a healthier happy relationship with money soon as you've ever dreamed of living a life of Financial and personal freedom you owe it to yourself and your family to tuna to the saving with Steve show join me Steve section of the saving with Steve show as we talked about everything under the sun when it comes to money to learn more about the show visit saving with Steve. Us that's saving with Steve. Us saving with Steve. Us will see you soon<br> welcome back to the show that is here to help you achieve your financial goals it's the saving with Steve show now here's your host Steve Sexton welcome back to the show my name is Steve Sexton this is the saving with Steve show where we talked about the ins-and-outs of money we have a very special guest with us today but I'd like to just<br> start talking about this you're about to get married or you just got married are you married for a year or maybe been married for 50 years okay most engaged couples no hey we should probably discuss those finances but don't exactly feel comfortable turning to each other while watching Netflix and say hey honey can you tell me about that debt<br> do I love that but that's the reality of that most people don't know how to engage in that conversation but we have we have Financial code and we blame she helps engaged couples talk about money we're so thankful she's here I know you're going to listen to this and you're just going to have that light bulb go on and go oh my God Emily welcome to the show I'm thankful you're here I'm glad to be here are always like to find out how did you become a financial coach for engaged couples this is an interesting journey I majored in music education which obviously has pretty much nothing to do it's Hansel coaching but I've always been really passionate with the music education as well working with students one-on-one I was never super into being mean I enjoyed my student teaching and being in the classroom but I really love being able to really focus what I talk about to what each individual needs<br> you need that you need that so since I can focus on you we can really dig into that where this might not be relevant so that individual aspect has followed through the financial coaching and I've always been passionate about personal finance my dad has been in finance the money head of a company that kind of thing he's only a couple small businesses all of that and he raised my sister and me with on my mother as well had a big influence on being responsible with our money and you know saving and sending but also saving and saving more and all of that good stuff and then when my husband and I got married I sort of became the Cs all of our family to manage all of our money and had seen the impact that we've had and see new story after news story on friend after friend posting about financial Financial list this is a struggle and been able to sort of see that contrast oh wow I really lucked out in how I was<br> and having that good influence to be on top of all of this and a lot of people don't have that how can I help impact other people in twos and you know it's not too late you can kind of figure out all of this money stuff now even though maybe your parents weren't comfortable talking about growing up or maybe they weren't very good with money growing up and you probably didn't get that out of school cuz only 26 States I think require a personal finance class in high school so most people graduated like okay now how do I adults with money so I took a class at the University of Wisconsin-Madison and have taken a couple Financial coaching courses and here I am really interesting to talk about you're one of the lucky ones that you had a father that kind of touchy lately have it in cuz the reality is I look at a term called The Compound Effect and you do the same<br> today and then one day you wake up and you have a lot of money and you can do the things you want and you have the financial freedom and it's just I want to say one day but what a lot of people don't realize it's what you do in the dark comes to the light and might not come today tomorrow at 5 or 10 years from now but you know when it's time to say hey can we do this you're like ham in a good spot While others are going to put my God what do I do so I think that's wonderful I also have read a study that indicated that you do most financial habits for kids are set by the age of seven because it was their parents do and I think again you're very lucky for that most of my financial stuff had to be learned later in life because we are a family of five in my dad was working all the time but you know that's the way it goes talk a little bit about our parenting relationships with each other and money and how it can affect our relationships especially when we're moving into a marriage or even have a<br> marriage and or relationship where you're going to have it anymore whenever there's a lot of Dynamics there you know what I've been married for a very long time and I understand a lot of those Dynamics and what was really interesting about your story is you or your family CFL and my story on my family CFO took a long time for my wife do you actually want to be really involved with it and which was interesting cuz it's her mom has her family see if house is it on my side of it was my dad cuz my kids because I think people need to realize where I'm going to say their genetics come from in the financial World a lot of people not just about money but about their ideas about marriage and general come from what they see from their parents whether that's a positive thing as well my parents are so in love and manage their money so well this is perfect. That's exactly what I need to do and then I will be happy and so in love with my partner<br> and all of that which may or may not be true or while my parents thought of a time or thought all the time and then got divorced or I didn't know one parent and so these are the things that I need to do to not on your way and as long as I don't do those things then I'll be fine which again may or may not be true but a lot of the times we don't necessarily realize how deeply ingrained some of those assumptions and expectations are my husband and I got married right out of college both of our parents head are still married had combined finances so we just assumed that of course come by and finish this is the right thing to do which has worked out great but for a lot of other people that may not be the right stuff they may go into it assuming while my parents combined their finances therefore we have to combine our finances when in reality maybe there are some reasons not to maybe what you were your partner has had a history in the past with a different partner who you had combined finances and that didn't work out so well<br> because your previous partner had really bad spending habits or something and got you into a lot of debt that way or maybe for other reasons you just want a little more independent so having joint account for some things but individual accounts brother things is better or maybe people grow up with parents who I can build a separate finances and so they assumed that completely separate finances is the right way to go or while mom and dad fought about money all the time growing up so we keep our money completely separate then we won't fight about money which again I may or may not be the case it's all about identifying what you saw growing up thinking about what I what did I see drawing up and what can I take away from that that does or does not apply to my situation now with this partner that I'm list it's really interesting you also see people who have what is it called I want to say I'm not a positive Financial experience for their parents where they are in and out of dad had to move a bunch of times and Mom and or both had<br> spending habits they're still together they're happy but they just do not have all the money you have kids to say I don't ever want to do that but I don't know how so how do people go about creating that Dynamic that conversation obviously you don't want to do it in the middle of the net fix commercial<br> breaking bad's the wrong time maybe maybe help our listeners I think the things that you were talking about any issues it doesn't matter if you're about to get married or married it's still there and some people never really learned how to deal with it and that's one of the reasons why they probably fight all the time but could you help us given the foundations for that conversation which type of process do you take people through coming to me and we're working together they're expecting to have the conversation so that it's pretty easy any of the doors already yep you're coming to talk to a financial counselor so yeah we're going to talk about financial things that's pretty easy if you are not working with a financial coach or you're just tired of trying to figure out how do I even bring the subject up trying to maybe you had a fight a few days ago and you figured out a way to resolve it but now it's been a few days so hopefully things<br> the cooled off a little bit you can maybe stay to your partner you know we had that conversation or just call it like it was we had that fight a few days ago about this what are some things that we can learn from that how can we move forward. So we're not always fighting about this where do you think that came from help me understand what you were feeling in that moment kind of open the conversation that way to go back to the Netflix thing you could watch some Netflix shows like marriage or mortgage I found was a fascinating one where they take a couple and the realtor shows than these beautiful houses that said all of their criteria and you know stages of room to fit exactly what they're looking for and then the wedding coordinator brings them to visit gorgeous and then you and shows them all these cool things like a donut wall that when I was like well I'm so I love to do that while that's amazing cuz I think they wanted a unique dessert options on this room it was literally a wall with donuts hanging on pegs so I try to sell them on that and then it has a couple comes in with us at budget to either put a down payment on a house<br> or get married and so then at the end the couple has to decide which one they want that can be a great conversation starter you like wow if we were in that situation or if we're talking about this kind of financial decision how would we make that what are your values on this what are my values on this what would be your priority how would we make that sort of decision and it wouldn't have to be there to what is obviously it could be any show where they're having some sort of discussion about money or finances use that as a stepping off point which on the surface may be like well you got that never happened but if you're looking for it you can find a lot of opportunities to wonderful real life situations into your conversation stick with us we have more of Emily Blaine more expert advice for having a happier relationship with money still to come on the saving with Steve show<br> don't let your financial woes keep you up at night and prevent you from living a life of Financial and personal freedom hi I'm Steve Sexton post of the saving with Steve show where did he talk about the in an ounce of money those financial issues that could be costing me thousands of dollars causing stress keeping you up at night we're going to talk about money tax reduction saving more spending your investment risk management retirement and everything is so sweet with you having a healthier happy relationship with money soon as you've ever dreamed of living a life of Financial and personal freedom you owe it to yourself and your family to tune in to the saving with Steve show join me Steve section of the saving with Steve show as we talked about everything under the sun when it comes to money to learn more about the show visit saving with Steve. Us that's saving with Steve. Us saving with Steve. Us will see you soon<br> welcome back to the show that is here to help you achieve your financial goals it's the saving with Steve show now here's your host Steve Sexton welcome back to the show my name is Steve sex in this is the shaving their Steve shall we talk about the ins-and-outs of money we have Emily blame talking is through that marriage conversation about money how to start that conversation how to deal with it is wonderful I mean if you're still fighting about money this is a great segment to listen to if you're just getting started with money and getting married or just about you've been married for a year or two or so and you still haven't worked it out you want to listen to this over and over again okay there's a lot of people especially when they get married older in life they someone bringing dad some of them do something so<br> what's the best way to have that discussion about somebody spending habits person who doesn't feel like they have a spending habit and you feel like your partner does not saying I mean maybe you do have a spending problem but you don't see it but you're trying to approach your partner who you think has a bigger spending problem than you do the biggest thing to keep in mind as regardless of how you approach the conversation they're probably going to be defensive because whenever you call somebody out about anything they're pretty much going to be no matter how nice you are no matter how carefully you think about your wording do you need it reaction is going to be their attacking me for this so going into the discussion realizing the reaction you're going to and then I think coming up from an approach of what are our goals together what are we trying to accomplish and how is this helping or hurting those goals<br> not just your spending too much money because that's not going to get anywhere because maybe they're setting a thousand dollars a month on fun stuff maybe they can afford that you know just because they're spending money doesn't necessarily mean it's a problem you're making $20,000 a month spending $1,000 on fun stuff might be just fine but it's when that starts impact day-to-day life or future goals or that kind of thing that it becomes a real problem you can try to approach that from you know we had talked about doing this for retirement or taking this big trip or whatever saving for a house you know it feels to me like we're not able to make as much progress towards that goal as I thought we would like because of x y and z<br> you know what you take a look at that hey I'm tracking everything my our expenses we see their up and you two or three thousand dollars a month and you're doing a b and c with that now if we continue to do that down the road and my spreadsheet with say hey we're not going to be able to retire at this age if that's occurring how is that going to help us how can we change that the basically having it with the goal in mind as opposed to you're doing this to me a little bit would you are doing a DNC which can feel very attacking to the person being talked to my friend reacted that way if that was what I meant to say but came out a little bit harder but rather than you're doing this thing you know the numbers I'm looking at are showing desk know if you can point it to the number<br> do this or the bank statement says this or this is how much money you can say we even if it was 95% your partner but this is how much money we spent on X in the last month what do you think about that does that seem reasonable to you my thoughts are we could maybe better use that to do acts so that we can achieve why I like we had talked about or if you hadn't talked about it that can also be another way to bring it up to say what do we want to accomplish in our lives with our money what sort of retirement do we want to have what certifications do you want to go on what kind of house do we want to buy whatever motivates you and then they okay how can we achieve that what has been happening that has been holding us back from Meeting those goals and how can we move forward you want to do this or politically so you can say ceiling space and not get punched in the eye over it<br> if you can keep it a little more low-key that tends to be better for the relationship in the Long Haul I love that you said that because I've had we've had this discussion in our household 15 years ago I went through about a cancer you know what that working for a while chemo and all that kind of stuff but we had a conversation about everything that we're spending when we started listening everything my wife is going I didn't realize I was still paying for that the little apps and all that kind of stuff and then we started looking at things going do we really need that and it made a big difference in an able to save a lot more than we realize how my God this is just going really fast because we are not spending as much as we used to in the spending that we had really did nothing for us I thought it was really great point now here's the other thing that's really big with couples and setting goals to help build a plan and get a<br> Financial directions for their life how should people look at that is that one of those things where you say hey this is the type of life we have this one of them like to retire this is what it like to retire on numbers-wise how do you go about doing that so when a couple works at me we don't get into any of the investing things because I'm not a registered investment advisor I don't have any of those certifications so I stay away from that with a ten-foot pole because I can't handle that so we talk more General about know what are your goals what are your lifestyle are you hoping to have what is really important to you is it really important to go on a big fancy all included resort vacation every year is it important to go on vacation but you're totally fine with renting a campsite at a national park and Road trippin their person be same question what's important to you you need a fancy car do not care about a car do you want a big house do you not want a big house where has heard of your needs what are your goals I would really love in 10 years to be in this location<br> where are you at there and then for investments in that kind of thing I suggest reading books going talking to a financial advisor that kind of thing so they can really get those numbers but then really having that conversation about what do we want to accomplish in life and where do we actually want our money to go is it important to us you're spending according to your values is it important to us to have the newest model of car or is that not important to us if that's important to you then figure out a way to make that work if that's not important to you then don't go buy a new car drive your car into the ground because you said that that's not something that you really care about what you're really saying is figure out the why if you want to live<br> and what that looks like and then Focus your financial plan on creating that life exactly make sure you're spending the money on the important things rather than the not important things that makes it so much easier because now both of you are focused on your why you're doing everything and it makes it easier to make financial decisions on what is worthwhile with vital with snot and wonderful and I think that's a wonderful lesson and you know what the the funny thing about it is it's awesome if you can learn that before you get married when you're exactly or within a year or two but I know the people who are listening and Argan yeah I kind of wish we did that 25 years ago and I think that's wonderful now Emily I know there's people we have a lot of listeners lot of people are streaming all that kind of stuff what's the best way to get ahold of you if they need a financial coach for married<br> if my website is dream big Financial coaching.com you can also find me on Facebook and Instagram with the same name of three big Financial coaching try to get ahold of me you can schedule a 3 meeting directly through my website for 15 minutes so we can chat about what I offer and what you're looking for and see if we're a good fit you do meetings to resume and things like that everything I do is virtual even preco but it was virtual so, is this made it that much easier you're going to get people all over the United States and around the world so exactly and we all want to thank you so much for sharing your knowledge in your information because he's inside for some people listening might be simple and basic cuz they already do it right but there's a lot of people who just don't know and meet at Foundation to do that they need somebody to help him so no thank you and I appreciate you being on the show<br> thank you so much bye bye now wasn't that wonderful that was Emily Blaine talking about how to combine your finances how to have those conversations it was just wonderful this segment is brought to you by score master.com did you know the average American is 97.6 and add to their credit score but have no idea how to get them the data scientist scoremaster house adding 97 points your credit score is like found money it means fast loan approval huge discount low interest rates on everything from refinancing a home leasing a car you can applying for a credit card how fast is for Master One member raise your credit score 33 points in just five days another 143 points in two weeks scoremaster so easy just takes about a minute and if you hurry you can get to try scoremaster for free that's right scoremaster for free see how many plus points you can add your credit score to go to scoremaster<br> calm slash savings again at score master.com savings as score master.com name I want to thank you all for joining us today we had Patrick get us what a wonderful person there is books coming out in January called transparent investing gives you the things the questions that you need to ask to make sure whoever advisor that you're working with has your best interest at heart secondly Emily playing for all those who are married about to get married been married for a little bit she gave the foundation for having the conversation with your spouse about money and finances setting goals together so you can live your dream I want to thank you all for joining us we're going to look forward to seeing you next week right here stay safe stay healthy thank you for joining us for the saving with Steve show hosted by Steve Sexton to learn more about the show and how to become a guest or sponsor visit saving with Steve. Us that's saving with Steve<br> us join us again next time as we continue to talk about everything under the sun that relates to you having a healthier happier relationship with money this has been the saving with Steve show hosted by Steve Sexton<br>