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Every Day Peace with Dr Dravon James
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Building Exceptional Relationships with Family, Friends, and Colleagues

Every Day Peace with Dr Dravon James

Building Exceptional Relationships with Family, Friends, and Colleagues

Professors Carole Robin, Ph.D., and David Bradford, Ph.D., discuss a range of interpersonal dynamics from reconnecting in marriages to reconnecting with estranged family members.

Every Day Peace with Dr Dravon James

Show Host

In today’s busy world it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and disconnected. Dr Dravon James helps to inspire, empower, and educate people to live the life of their dreams. Focusing on health, wealth, and relationships, Dr. James offers strategies that work for everyday life.

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Weekly Show
BBS Station 1
Tuesday
Starts
8:00 pm CT
Ends
8:55 pm CT
Show Transcript (automatic text 90% accurate)

start your day with a positive affirmation and attention since 1924 daily word two months of daily affirmations and spiritual your subscription today visit dailyword.com or unity.org
you're listening to Unity online radio
the voice of an Awakening world
Empower yourself and get inspired to build the life of your dreams
welcome to Everyday peas with dr. dravon James
Welcome to our show on. This is everyday piece I am super excited to be here with you today and we explore the concept of living a life of Peace everyday piece to bind assholeness completeness nothing missing nothing broken totality my goodness if you are somewhere to close your eyes and just let that sink and just meditate on that you're supposed to do this quick to Second meditations and we get so rejuvenated to change the entire energy around us so you complete nothing missing nothing broken totality right now and held it in hold it and do it because I want you to know that yes everyday piece of pie
yes you deserve every day peace and yes you can have and bday piece we work together on this show to bring you the topics and the guests to partner with you as you create your life of peace every day and we have a wonderful show for you today I want to tell you first of all that we are
live from Montego Bay Jamaica it's beautiful here so happy about that I want to tell you that last week we had a wonderful show it was incredible if you miss this show I highly encourage you to go back and listen to it I'm going to tell you how you can do that but we had the amazing Sarah Choi on to discuss Kroger on self-discovery now you know that this journey called life becomes more and more pleasurable the more you understand you are the only person that you begin the journey with and you ended up discovery of you is important we also have the amazing Mark Johnson and Mark Sherrod is there a spiritual journey over six decades in the making soap that they were fascinating truth and Universal discovery that came to that conversation last week
if you miss the show you can access our entire library of previous shows by visiting of dr. Dre Bond James a podcast on Apple Spotify Google play Stitcher you can listen to the shows yes you can listen to them on Unity online radio. Org so you can go to that website and also accept all of our shows there another place to listen to our show is on our website at the first time you guys have been hearing you talk about this website I cannot take any of the credit for developing is the new and improved dr. Dre born james.com website in the ER for dr. Dre bond is d r a v as in victor e o n d.com to visit that website you'll see transcripts of the shows I passed those words of wisdom and encouragement excerpts from my book reading is your Birthright
I want to give a huge thank you for those guests with listeners have been reaching out to me yes you can connect with me to ask for a keynote speakers and workshops that I do so please that's a great place to do that for life coaching you can connect everything you want you're going to find out about the battery read each and every one of them and they are much appreciated to actually love to get that so if you haven't visited the website yet please go to website idea how amazing the new one is again it's dr. Dre Bond James back home please bookmark that site you won't be disappointed and I am super excited that we're going to be doing something a little different today not only are we broadcasting from a different location in Montego Bay
Cheryl Robbin is our guest today on her show and they are going to talk about their book connect building and sexual relationships with family friends and colleagues and I'm super excited about this is it aligned perfectly with every day peace you guys know that we we are about relationships so it aligns perfectly with our mission statement and you know we usually have two different guess sometimes different topics today to this very very important conversation on connecting and so glad you're here for that I'm going to tell you that this topic is so important so near and dear to Everyday piece that if there is someone that you know who is struggling in building relationships whether it be personal or business Rate Romance would have you I'd like you to take a quick moment and show them some love by texting them and asking them to connect to the show today
do what we always do we're going to have our everyday peace moment well I hope everyone enjoy this wonderful holiday weekend he's already to balance things this weekend we had our father's day that I want to send warm wishes and thoughts all the amazing fathers out there we also celebrated as a nation for the very first time Juneteenth in my many years of living on the earth and has been something that I have celebrated with my family but you celebrated as a nation really was so impactful so warm I hope it is a great family and friends come together and celebrate in gratitude for what the amazing thing we can do when we come together and doing these times and remember we build community that's what we do
we build community bound together by laughter and joy and friendship and common purpose and that's the same thing we do here with everyday piece that isn't same thing that we do we come together we connect to learn and to grow as individuals and then to take that back to our families our communities and our jobs and we grew a nation of people we are a tribe within ourselves the everyday peacemakers with us and then we take that out to the World At Large so I want to spend this moment of gratitude to this extent and tell you how grateful I am for the relationships that we're developing here is everyday peacemakers and that is our moment for today our special guest today or Carol and Robin and David Bradford Dr chill Robin and dr. David Radford have a combined 75 years of experience teaching at the Stanford Graduate School of
business specializing in relationship building their book is titled connect building exceptional relationships with family friends and colleagues, welcome to the show Carol and David were so happy to have you
forward to this because these connections over differences is what we do this is what makes the journey more more pleasurable in my mind so you are saying that you have invested so much time in for teaching in a business environment how did this come about
well I will first to answer on I think I've always been interested in this my doctor workers in interpersonal in group dynamics and I got involved in this process of working in small groups and seen what happens when people could be honest and authentic with each other in terms of what it took to them it is I found it so gratifying that is how I wanted to devote my life to
wow and and then Carol how about you
well I have had six different careers depending on how we count the David was at Stanford well before I was and then I was lucky enough to kind of plan their fortuitously but what all my careers had in common the through line was that I was fascinated by relationships and people and like David I found nothing more rewarding than helping people learn how to create deeper Fuller richer relationships with each other
so the three of us share that in common and Caroline I love I love to hear more about six different careers but I love a person who stands and and touches on all of their passions but I have a doctor's degree in Pharmacy and all those studies within the course that really impacted me the most that touch my interpersonal studies and I should have known then that was that but I love the work that I've done at health care but that relationship building you're not the reason I said that is because I was halfway through a master's in chemistry when I realized I didn't want to pick Travis
I applaud you for recognizing you know not to be talked about self-awareness and self-discovery I have to hide you for listening and being aware of it and then following your bliss right because I was that person I really was a weird that that don't that study of relationship with me up I was excited about that and I was good at math and science didn't like me at the same way and I knew I had a professor who told me so you know what you should probably follow this course of study and I got so far I think I'll go back to bed cuz my my heart and soul so how does learning from one of the Premier business universities translate to helping us those of us with our personal relationship
didn't business being the disconnect disconnect is that little piece that you can have all of the scientific and knowledge that you want but that little piece of being able to connect on this and manicure you know that level there that tiny little piece is the is the bridge to so much success
and I know that maybe people who are studying maybe traditional business outside of healthcare do you find it that's more acceptable there that people really understand like I am going to have to know how to build relationships is that something that you get from the start recognizing that because the world is changing and organizations are changing and the Carol loves to use a phrase that we do business with people with people except more important or as early as important as you have to do Finance you have no strategy but it's dealing with people and we are highly interdependent we need cooperation we need collegiality and we can order that it only comes through building strong relationships and I will talk about it but she's doing some very exciting stuff with Executives is Silicon Valley who have that technical background that you talked about but who realize it's
mission trips
all in all church. Just in case they have the same as all about relationship or ain't about nothing and I have found that to be social you think people will need it was Mother Teresa. Someone famous ever say that people may forget what you said but they'll never forget how you made them steal that it was a quote by Maya Angelou made them feel so again I think that once we understand how to have a relationship with other people in a cross differences is amazing what we understand that everything else all of our expertise can really be put to Great use so
I'd like to just add a couple things the first is what you just said the Maya Angelou quote is so germane to our work which is people will not forget how you made them feel so this course that we taught for all these decades at the most famous course at the Stanford Graduate School of Business most oversubscribed the students informally called it touchy-feely and that's because of the emphasis on feeling because if we're really going to connect van and by the way if we're going to connect across differences the more we can talk about our feelings the more we're going to have in common we both know what it feels like to be sad even if it's a different thing makes me sad
we both know what it's feel anger feels like and so there's this way in which we can connect more deeply more genuinely and just to say a couple of words about what David just said about what I left Stanford in 2018 and I started up a nonprofit called leaders in Tech and what what we're basically doing is bringing what I used to teach at Stanford especially around touchy-feely two co-founders and nonprofit in Silicon Valley I'm sorry to see your Founders were they are very much for profit in Spokane Valley and what they're discovering is that their ability to create these competencies and skills and learn how to connect
is what is
is really differentiating them from the rest of the competition
yeah it is. Right because you know that was something to I remember being in the pharmacy student you know studying about in the interpersonal communication classes bedside manner into you no collisions show up at the bedside of a genius but you can't really relate to him or her because they're missing that did you get this person who was also got the same title but maybe they're not at the top of their game but the connecting with them in the end they can because they can perform some men this way because now they have a maybe like a window into you that maybe a clinician definition who didn't connect the same way she can't touch that I can't get you to express yourself fully you know and are you familiar with the research that says that the doctors who create stronger relationships with their with their patients are
significantly less likely to ever be sued the patient is more likely to get well at a quicker Pace when they have that relationship so even the physical health improves with relationships
Annoying Orange going to be no trouble to our physical and mental health we're less likely to be depressed feeling alone when we have these relationships
so here we are and we're studying about connecting across differences and we have the fabulous Stanford Business program dr. Carol Robinson and dr. David Bradford and we're talk about connecting across differences and I got to ask what kind of differences are we talking about and why are they important in building strong relationships
well I think we're talkin about every sort of the differences we often come at problems differently we often saw them differently that's part of the richness we know that when people can bring up differences and deal with it effectively effectively the quality of the solution goes up now I think we're face today with some very basic strong differences which are rendering us apart and I think that's something we also need to deal with
so when you're talking about those strong differences that rendering this apart can you give us some examples of what those might be
but I think our whole political discussion we've stopped listening to each other we was demonized each other we written each other off we disagree politically disagreed on should we get vaccinated we're just read on climate change on abortions on a whole bunch of stuff and and we act as if only we have the answer and there's nothing of value in the other person and not only that is that the other person has no value and I think that's very distressing that we need to find ways not to convince the other person but to be able to connect with the other person and honor that we are different to that's part of the richness of human interaction
and I I would add that boy last year certainly created a national Consciousness around a very different lived experience by people of different color which by the way people people who are not white had known that for hundreds of years and suddenly you know a lot of other people discovered America literally and Zack to I mean it's David just said I think there's a difference in the way we see the world some of which is a function of the way we were raised or function of our life experience some of it is differences in the way we like to go about living our lives but I think where we get in the most trouble by and large is when is David I want to underscore David's what David just said when we
demonize each other and we when we cannot allow for the possibility that there is something that for me to learn and what you how you see the world and how you came to see the world that way why do we become narrower and and and frankly we don't live lives of nearly as much meeting
yeah I got to tell you I'm jumping right into the meat of it and I absolutely love it and I like this term demonize each other because I find it so much of that happens and when I listened and it just observe people and even sometimes clients that I work with I hear this old adage that I was raised with its what a plays in my head even though they may not use this terminology when they dig your heels in and they don't listen and it's sort of their defending beer at the adage of stand for something or you'll fall for anything and so they're standing up for what they believe in what happens if what I believe is that they because they're standing still farming what they believe they've built a wall around themselves which they do not let any other conversation to penetrate so instead of listening they're constantly demonizing the other point of this morning
I overheard a conversation older people talking about the vaccination and demonizing a group of people who for whatever reason and I would get passed up because I'll tell you I think both groups are we talked about race relations to you know we get to the point where the people who have been victimized are so hurt and they're so they're so traumatizing every spot that you touch his tender at that they also demon eyes and no I don't have to listen I don't have to listen because this is what happened to me to get past all of us emotion to get to the place
you'll have that woosah moment where we can meet up a present
and when I hear people say I just can't understand why somebody believes this her act this way it'll stopping and and reflect the statement if they don't understand and one of the trouble is when I was listening to you both of you right now the word that came up for me is the cost of losing our curiosity the one of the most fundamental concepts in everything we taught and in our book is the importance of curiosity
can you stop long enough to wonder what's happening for the other person don't 2 and can you stop long enough and you just Reference last week I think there was something about understanding yourself that you did a show last week. Stopping and seeing whether there's anything for you to learn about yourself in your unwillingness to even get curious what is that about
and there's also the assumption that I am right and and you have nothing to ask I think one of the troubles which gets it away cuz your ass. Driving about what we can do about this is that we always want to try to convince other people and if we could let go of that and say I'm not going to try to convince you and I'm maybe a little ambivalent about being convinced myself but can I understand you can I make the assumption that you're a reasonable person and it could be interesting to see how you came to that point of view and as Carol said once I do that then I could get curious about myself why didn't I think about that how do I feel about that so curiosity works both ways but I think it or take it end of that we have to stop convincing them that they are wrong that just
stop such as built-in wall higher and higher
here's what I'll add curiosity is impossible if uses if unless you're willing to suspend judgment at least temporarily I'm really not going to care how you came to think what you think or how you came up with that as a solution or why that's where you land if I've already judged you
so I can always go back to judging you but boy there's something kind of magical about suspending judgment say hey maybe I don't know maybe and I wonder what there is to be learned if for a while I just get curious
call Mike wheat products some amazing points right now that I don't want to listen to this I just want to recap before we go to our break but didn't you said something that I hear quite frequently I can't I just can't understand how someone could feel that way and I heard that there were times in this conversation today about the covid vaccine and and I was a listener that, but when they can't stand for I certainly am not trying this silence is not just a minute maybe you will understand you don't have to understand how this individual has been shooting a thing
you're listening to Unity online radio
the voice of an Awakening world
create and build a life of your dreams welcome back to every Dave East with dr. dravon James
welcome back to Everyday piece I Ain't Got You Babe on James and we have fabulous guest with us today. To Carol Robinson Dr David Bradford and they are talking about connecting or difference is we are alive from Montego Bay Jamaica today so we are first person first we got against onto Gaston for the entire show because this is a very important topic how to improve relationships how to connect a over differences across different results about resolution how can you and I and everyone else that we come in contact with how can we get better at this relationship building process and when we get better relationship building trust me everything else in your life improved because as I said earlier it's all about relationship
Church Pastor and it's so absolutely so Carol and David would love to hear from you on resolutions and we got about 18 minutes away and tell us how we can get better this because this is so very important
client can I add like to start by coming back to something you said right before the break which was when you say I can't so there's a big difference between I can't and I choose not to
and as my as my husband likes to say whether you think you can or you think you can't your right
but one of the reasons that I think our work turns out to be of so much impact for our students and our clients is that
sometimes I don't realize that I made a choice and that's where I need another person that's where I need to have someone else challenge me and perhaps provide feedback to me in service of the relationship and in service of my gross
so that's one place we might go with regard to strategies I don't know David if you've got other things that cut reminder you want to build on that
to that David but if I may we do have a real live radio and I decide to say we had a call or a who has a question and would be could just bring her or call her all to ask her a question
hello
hi I'm so my question that I have is how do you develop positive relationships with people that you're working with that you previously had negative or negative relationship how do you get out of that space
well I'm assuming that this is something somebody says that you're that you need to get your job done and they need you in order to get their job done I would start with C 9 on the importance I don't think it explicit hey we need each other and I may want to name the elephant in the room and say we've had some difficulties and working together but I really want to make it better because we do need each other so you're holding out the olive branch of wanting to be better
the other thing which could be difficult to do is to lead by saying am I doing anyting that's making it difficult and we both care what I believe that interpersonal issues have an interpersonal component each of us bring something to the table now can you hear that and not defend yourself or spread yourself away and then can you get in Detroit problem-solving of sane what should we do now do so they could where you can work better together so this may not be a close friend of yours that's not the goal is to have a good working relationship
okay then wait wait before you go was that helpful a copy of our book or that you go to our website which we'll talk about it the very end because there are way there are skills and competencies that will move the probability of a good outcome in a conversation like that that are very specific
and thank you for calling everyday peace and being at a peacemaker and seen you to let your mom because we're going to have great resolutions and the opportunities for growth and development I'm given to us today by Carol and David
so I would like to build on what Carol said about having choices and we may not want to act on it right now but it can we at least owned the empowerment that I at some point could have a choice of doing something so let me talk about some of the choices we may want to take one choice is to let people know about more about ourselves we have such a tendency with Facebook and so on to spend images but can I take the risk of letting you know more about me I think the second thing is which we've talked about the first part of this program is can I be curious about you and I want to get to know you can I encourage you to tell me what's important to you and we're back to feelings what's your hopes are what your concerns are with your dreams harder
when does the third thing I was dressed and then I want Carol to build on this is this show is about Unity but we believe that one of the best ways of building Unity is the face the differences and deceit disagreements as a possibility to build a connection because disagreements is telling something important about us so we don't want to avoid disagreements we want to take them as a way to identify what's hurting us what's getting away so we can have real unity and not to paper over it
yeah in fact I'll add that too many people think that connection is premise in similarity
without recognizing that there's so much more deaths and and satisfying richer more meaningful connection when in fact it occurs across different
not to mention growth really easy to connect to lose just like you
and think of how boring it would be if we were all alike it's the differences is often so intriguing so interesting
and
then can we in a sense not try to talk to other person other differences but to understand what it means to them why it's important to them and then we're back to Carol's play me before I thought maybe that will learn more about ourselves she is our part of that in me is there part of that that I would like to have it be so it keeps on going back and forth more let you know me the more you let me know you the more I understand you the more I understand me and that's an offense the richness of relationships
I love the idea that you all have introduced is that it is the differences that are the spice of life sort of speak and if we are all the same if you all have the same opinion if you're all doing the same thing then some of us may not be necessary right
you know especially you talking about changing Dynamics too often say I'm looking for those people who think differently or who even disagree with me because it gives me an opportunity to look at things that me and my personality that we all have our limitations and how far and we can see things that I may not have seen because you know you understand that was a totally different near your point of view is totally different and I know for a lot of people that is threatening that you like why every time you know I have a suggestion that shot down or no that's just you being able to see in the other side of the moon at the same time with no you don't have to get any smarter to do that was a totally different perspective and all we have to do is be better listeners I love that
I love what you just said because there's two points you just made one is at David like to say there's a reason God gave us two ears and one mouth so there's something about becoming a better listener that is profoundly connecting is also embedded in what we're talking about here is whether or not you like to learn
are you alone or and by the way I used to start every class at the business school at Stanford and I now start ever executive program I Do by saying good leaders are good learners
so that's that's maybe in a business contacts but I think that happens to apply in any
right
so what we're talking about here is a willingness to learn a willingness to grow the willingness a desire a value around that
I like her to a being honest with ourselves right and I love the way you've been here over cuz I always ignore what I do when I talk to people about people I say well do you think that you have learned all there is to know about that topic right and we have to say no honestly we have to say no because the more we know the more we know that we don't know anything really you know it and so it opens us up to
to being able to say yeah me if if if you're in this state of self-awareness right maybe there is just one more thing that I could learn and I love the concept of not judging the the person who's presenting that to you whether he's the one who you know it's not as educated or not as much as life experience when they're much younger than you realizing that we all go cycle through the position of teacher student teacher student all day long if you're open to it I was going to say my favorite you got your favorite thing to spray think my favorite thing to say to students and clients can you allow for the possibility that there is a different way to see that
oh I love that that's so I think that's so Professor like can you allow for the Episcopal
you have another caller on the line I'm going to bring that color on
hello you're on the air with our Palace guest doctor Carol Robbins and dr. David Bradford
oh good evening dr. James another great show I love your guest and observations very quickly and ask a question so I've been doing cuz what you're talkin about relates a lot D I work and I've been doing to you I work for a longer time to pack my first time doing it was called multiculturalism is that I think one of the reasons why people have a difficult time accepting or listening to another person's perspective is because we live in a culture that American culture that is ego and self-protective driven so when somebody challenges you instead of stepping back and listening you got to protect yourself because you got to win that fight you got to win that argument because it's actually in a work environment where there's a lot of competition that I think is fostered by those who and ultimate leadership for whatever reason I think it's sort of
psychotic the way that is created but it is so I see that the second the second thing I think is that when you all talked about being curious about yourself I found doing this work that it's easy to do what I call box checking with the guy at work that you say we're doing this and we're doing that and you throw up some numbers and so you can do the diversity peace but the other pieces requires you as you said to be very curious about yourself and that means understanding your flaws and understanding your weaknesses and understanding that maybe I need to do some work so I think that one of the reasons why it's this call is because of that people don't want to do the work so my question to you all is so when you have
when you have people that just refuse to listen what is the best way for the person who is who is expressing him and herself I guess the deal with that because of the work environment can be very frustrating and up an interpersonal relationship a marriage family it can be very frustrating and so you can't change the person who you trying to get to at least see your perspective not necessarily agree so what would you say is the best way to Glee for younger people to deal with that because their natural inclination is the fight back to prove your point if nothing ever gets off so somebody has to be the bigger person than that and so what would you suggest the people when you realize that the person is just not going to listen to what you have to say
well I've got a couple. So I don't know if David if you want to start he wants to
soap for starters when somebody refuses and you just described refuses to listen I try to get even more. Wow I wonder what's happening for that person it's making it so hard for them to even get into the conversation the second thing that I'd say is that you just you just made something that's really important when you are asking someone to step into discomfort it's a good thing to understand if that's what you're asking. Maybe by listening to you I I'm asking you to be willing to be uncomfortable
and if that's what I'm doing than a I should recognize it and be I should make sure that I help you understand why it might be in both our interests for you to be willing to be to go there and then further more I need to be willing to get uncomfortable because it is in the bear for only me to be the one that asks you to get that uncomfortable. That's the beginning of my answer I'm sure David will build on it tied in with the second point of Carol made and if we're talking about race relations is the elephant in the room is that particular whites are really scared of being cold racist cuz that's that's what they're afraid of it that's what she'll sit down
and I I think the either way I go with that is to acknowledge it we're all Races and so I just did a program with black granite or is that an international organization and I started with that I took we're all race we live in a racist Society we can't help it be now could we all relax and what we want to work on is our Behavior I may be unhappy that I have those beliefs I'm striving to identify them and move Beyond it but if I could start and I would start it as soon as I say about making yourself by saying you know I don't like that part of myself but I'm a human being and I live in this Society how can we talk about how we could deal with it I would our behavior and I find that that starts to relax people because if we walk around saying I've got to be perfect that ties
everybody up and and we are we are people in the process of becoming a little better
black right to what David just said boy acknowledging my own sphere
that feels vulnerable and can be very connected cuz aren't we all afraid of these conversation if I start by saying this is a this is scary territory for me and I believe it's important enough that I'm willing to go there with you
I think that's likely to make you more open to having a conversation I would appreciate it thank you all so much great great answer thank you and thank you for calling in and thank you for being an everyday Peacemaker at the app that you appreciate your participation today I want to say that something that you said David just really very simple but very profound to meet people in the process of becoming a little better that to me unifies all of us and it takes the pressure off because it was just a little better we all can commit to that that today I'd like to become a little better right because I could do I love I love that and it's cheap with all of us need nothin but yes I have to do it and not ended to remove that sense of Shame is here we know what everyone else is a lot better than I am
why am I not so far so far along in this relationship why am I stuck here so all of us somewhere and we're all going to get a little bit better today if we want to if we decide to thank you for that an end and the struggle that I haven't been a little better is similar to The Struggle you're having him being a little better so we can understand each other and empathize and I think that the ability to start to understand the other person's world and other thing which builds connection
you want and we'll come back and we can come back to feelings and talk about the fact that one of the things related to that is one of the things that builds connections is the ability to meet somebody else emotionally
I may not be feeling the same thing you're feeling in the moment but I can meet you in that feeling because I've experienced it before
yeah right will let you start off Carol by say we all know what it's like to be sad we all know what exactly he scared you don't know what it's like to be disappointed or afraid it may be.
right in that that is that humanizes our whole experience if he can say no maybe not on this particular topic but my goodness I do know what they like to do feel unheard
on that point we can connect exactly
you got it
this is really a notice that all the words notice that all the words we just use or feeling words
it works ideas they weren't thought they were feeling dismissed affirmed listen to the important be valued valued
and that's why you know that the course is included in the syllabus a vocabulary of feelings and the book has an appendix which is a vocabulary of feelings think about what it says about who we are that we you know and how much we have delegitimize emotions but we have to create a vocabulary of feelings because it's so hard for the students in our client to even accept what they're feeling
I do find you and you missing something very very important is this feeling and a lot of times I would hear in his business you know environment that we should leave our emotions check your emotions at the door on a feelings all the time they say I'm worried that our client is going to be the satisfied I'm excited about this new project I'm concerned that we won't be meet our deadlines I'm upset that you didn't get the report in time do they use feelings all the time and yet they're the ones who say leave feelings out but the question is would you want to work for a robot who's a mister Spock who has no emotions
that's not anybody I want to follow
you're actually write those feelings are there for a reason and I think it is that that brings that our Compassion or our ability to connect the demand a part of ourselves to connect somebody else we need help here when I push now or you know don't please pass this point because this is shutting down or even the employees shutting down so just being by default connect with somebody else to do something a little earlier to it's worth coming back through which has feelings give meaning to fact if I tell you
I went zip-lining with my family and I was in pain that's all I tell you a little something if I tell you I went zip-lining with them and it was exhilarating you've learned something else if I tell you I went zip-lining and I felt terrified in course because I didn't want to feel left behind you or learn something completely different and likewise it's healing the intensity of my experience I'm a little annoyed I'm aggravated I'm irritated I'm frustrated I'm angry I'm furious don't mean different things
your building on that I said before that one of the ways to connect is to share more and to listen more and we think Sherry we often think of sharing facts but let the most powerful thing as sharing feeling and how rare in our discussions do we share the feelings that Carol just talked about or do we listen for feelings because the other person made sort of hinted of feeling so for example I've got a cousin whose lives in England has become very much like the English who aren't wild about feelings and how are you and she'll say I'm okay well hell she's not okay and can I really listen to take lunch or what's going on so can we listen for other people's feelings and help them express it more fully and then they know we want to know them the real them the feeling them
and that's how we connect
you all just brought us to our time and I don't want to miss this very important point of how our audience can connect with you or talk about your book connects but how can I find out more about the fabulous work that you're doing
well for starters we have a website ww.w connect and relate. Com
now at that website you got everything you want to know about the book which has a different title than the website the book is connect colon building exceptional relationship with family friends and colleagues but if you want to contact us if you can do it to our website if you want to learn more not only about the book but also some free downloadable PDF that are some self-assessment a suggested way of pulling together some people and going through your own creating your own learning group using the book that's all on the website again www.connect.com
thank you so much for that we have been listening to and enjoying the teachings of dr. Carol Robinson and dr. David Bradford
you've been listening to Everyday peaks with Dr Trevon James you have the power right now today to make the decisions to take the actions that leave you to your next level of greatness and I would love to hear some ways we can connect schedule a coaching session contact me and info at dr. Dre Ron James. Com enroll in my online university course to 2020 Clarity court at The Institute for leadership and lifelong learning International enroll in the brilliant life 9 weeks online coaching session with me and Keisha Dixon info at the Grapevine james.com purchase my book feed him is your Birthright from Amazon thank you for being and every day Peacemaker I absolutely love you
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