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Every Day Peace with Dr Dravon James, April 13, 2021

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Every Day Peace with Dr Dravon James
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Guest, Dorothy Graham O’Dell, Overcoming struggles with low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, and family trauma

Every Day Peace with Dr Dravon James

Guest, Dorothy Graham O’Dell, Overcoming struggles with low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, and family trauma 

Author Dorothy Graham O’Dell discusses her book, The Overcomer, Facing Challenges with Faith and Courage” 

Show Transcript (automatic text 90% accurate)

if you've ever felt disconnected from spiritual Community because of your orientation it's time to experience the bishop Carlton Pearson and self-acceptance and deeper self-love Global Pride spiritual experience register a global Pride spiritual that's Global type spiritual
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Empower yourself and get inspired to build the life of your dreams
welcome to Everyday peas with Doctor dravon James
hello and welcome to our show
I am dr. Dre Ron James and this is everyday piece
I am super excited to be here with you today as we discover
and explore the concept of living a life of Peace everyday my goodness it charges me and excites me to say these words to peace defined as wholeness completeness nothing missing nothing broken totality
take a moment if you can and just inhale that you whole complete nothing nothing nothing broke totality in hell that breath hold it for just a second and then complete exhale through the mouth everyday piece I'm here to tell you that yes it isn't it is possible for you to have peace everyday but you to exist in this state of wholeness everyday That's so exciting yes you deserve every day peace and yes you can have every day piece we work together on this show to bring you the topics and the guests to partner with you as you create your life of peace every day and is our listeners know our Anthem in 2021 is what are we waiting for
is everyday peacemakers we know we have everything we need right here and right now to be our best selves I announced this theme in the beginning of their first show of the 2021 year and I'm so excited that I did because I had talked to lots of people from who were stuck in 2020 in a holding pattern unable to move forward because they didn't know how the pandemic wouldn't pack their lives on this show on the everyday piece show we encourage the exploration of self and the journey back to Everyday peace regardless of what's going on in our external world so yes I concur there are a lot of uncertainties out there in the external environment but peace is an Intel Inside Job is inside state of being we have access to it all of the time so no we're not waiting for anything absolutely nothing to wear everyday
sneakers we're on the case we're deciding for ourselves to exist in the state of wholeness now speaking of what are you waiting for it that you are not in to visit the doctor Trevon James. Com website because it's all brand-new if you have not busy what are you waiting for it's a new website and includes things like Pryor Show those words of wisdom and encouragement excerpts from a book Freedom is your Birthright contact information and it's going to be the place where you're going to go to get free material so you know we're working that are free stuff down but we do have some free stuff is still out there haven't gotten access to it just go up so I can claim your free gifts or for those of you who are just resistance that night with that know why you would resist that it's a wonderful website love you to visit but you can also still email me at Trevon James at and we'll get that free course out to if you put free in the subject line there so we have launched
this new website was so excited about the the new looking in the ease and of this web site of huge thing was you who have reached out to me already who viewed the website and I'm looking forward to hearing from more of you it's a great way for me to get feedback from you all and about the new website this is an important cuz I Look to continuing home the content to meet your needs so thank you for you guys who give me that kind of feedback I'd love to get that from everybody so if you haven't been to the website yet go to dr. Dre Bond James that's Dr Dragon today and check out that new sites if you have been on the website before I encourage you to bookmark this site and come back at least once a week to see any updates that website address again is dr. Dre Von and if you have missed any of this year's shows they have been so impactful
or you simply want to go back you whenever you listen to them I I totally get that you can access our entire library of past shows by subscribing to the Dr Dre Bond James everyday piece podcast on Apple Spotify Google play in Stitcher or you can listen to them on the unity online radio. Org website
so that's where we've been where we're going right now is to our everyday peace moment I have had so many conversations about leadership leadership is like a buzzwords everywhere so I want to take a few minutes to talk about leadership and my perspective on leadership as an everyday Peacemaker and what I hope that you will adopt an in your journey as leader so will you think about leader I don't know sometimes the first thing that pops into are mine or these dick meters of these you do big companies Fortune 500 companies but I want you to think of leadership there's opportunity for leadership everywhere and back like you are right now acting in some capacity as a leader and weather is in your home or at your job in a nonprofit organization or church or you can a leader in a sports team or a book club a leader by selection or later by circumstance in each and every one of our Lives we all go through that cycle
in a leadership you know so we can recycle into that role quite frequently and there are times in our life when all we need to do is take a leadership position in order to move things forward there are many kinds of leadership styles but the one that I find most effective is the authentic leader the authentic leader is a leader that is transparent when dealing with their team and others the authentic leader knows themselves and their capabilities and their core values and I'll tell you it's an everyday Peacemaker
this is a great place to be because we examine all parts of our lives with complete acceptance so we can bring our most pure and Powerful selves any situation to maximize not only our health wealth relationships but we can also act as a powerful authentic leader when we when we Channel and these the tools that we getting bigger everyday Peacemaker which are self-reflection and self-acceptance critical First Steps critical and in our professional lives As Leaders because when we have that self-acceptance and self-reflection and were able to really see our self and accept our self and love ourselves by then and there we can authenticate leading guy from that place accepting others and being able to see their needs that but whether they're acting as a customer in our life or whatever role they're playing our life our team or team members were able to
really dig in to be able to act out and serve from the authentic place so everyday peacemakers make great leaders we we followed the first critical thing which is self-acceptance and self-awareness key tools to being the most effective leader possible
and that is our everyday peace moment leading us right to our first guests of the day Dorothy Graham Odell is a renowned author her book is entitled The Overcomer facing challenges with faith and courage and it discusses the challenges of overcoming struggles with self-esteem and anxiety depression and family trauma welcome to the show Dorothy
thank you so much for having me dr. James so don't ask her pleasure thank you for being here listen I love the topic of your book it just fills me with so much optimism to hear you're overcoming which means you know you've gone through something but you're on the other side of it so I love that can you tell us a little bit about your story because it sounds like a Triumph mental health and it's still going actually so a little bit about about me growing up I was bullied all through school for my weight you know which led to low self-esteem which led to you know if you have relationships and all growing up my my family has been my parents have been chronically ill from anywhere from diabetes to Heart and Stroke to kidney failure to now we're working on to time cancer survivor with my dad so it's it's been in and out of chaos and 23 years ago Christmas day my uncle took his life
and which forever changed your family so at that time I knew that you know why I allowed myself to be in relationships that I should have never been in because you know I didn't have that the same and I didn't think I could get better and with everything you do from one end of the spectrum to the other with at home every look like very lonely so I was looking in all the wrong places for different relationship but with that even professionally I found at work I was working for people that were very verbally abusive and you know it's it was like the arguments and that's only thing by my head and it's just like I can't believe the environment that I was in the store I'm a decision that okay this was never going to happen again you know I took it I took some time out myself I got some different therapies that I need
drowning myself with different people and for the people that I was hanging out with and totally you know transformed that there were moments when I was going through all that the expecially an abusive relationship but I didn't even want to live I can look at myself in the mirror I really didn't like who I saw and I figured you know everybody else just treating me poorly so what is it about me that was no good but I knew that it was them and not me and I quickly but when I say quickly so ten years after getting out of that relationship I have definitely you know kept walking through hell and the commode on fire for sure as real talk Kim says but it's just it's it seems like
I've always been a fighter so I keep walking through that and you know I always find a solution you know there might be days that I'm in the pit and there are days that I feel like giving up but then I know that you know there's that's giving up is never an option so for me it's just it's the fighter in me that had kept on going through those moments you get a couple things there that I just want to go back to first of all body spinning is a real thing it is a real thing that causes Soul oh my gosh at a number of people that I talked to in coach who are a bully by that so I got my hat goes off to you for doing the work to bring yourself forward and do realize that beauty comes in every shape and size and that's just that's just what it is and so but it takes a lot of lot of self-love to get there and then there's this phrase that I hear so often at want you just to talk a little bit about the ECU took some time
to yourself and that just hearing that is like I feel like a cool Summer Breeze in my heart when you say that because I think that we all need to find a way to take some time for yourself but I know that for most people it seems almost impossible with the you know the debt piling up on their heads of family obligations and everything that's going on how did you find time and what did you do that that said hey this is me taking time for myself and then you mentioned before you get to that you mention real talk him and I don't want to miss that every day of my life so I do not know who realtalkkim is beautiful or heard of her until I was here around February this year and my girlfriend said hey if you listen to this real what are you talkin about
that woman and I'm a straight shooter and so for me how she talks is absolutely up my jam how do you just be open and honest with me instead of sugar-coating stuff because that's not who I am and we going to do about the same time so I was like a February for me to Sister pandemic I don't know how she should have on my feet but she didn't I just kept kept Listen to I said yes to thank you for that but yes I want to just go back to that I'm taking time for yourself big big big big they need to discuss our listeners that was before I was married cuz I had just gotten out of that relationship so I was no way shape or form ready to get into another one so I had time I was surrounded by a bunch of new Christian women that had brought me into their Circle and I had. I was doing Bible study at this one moment I was I was in a financial services
he's the one that kind of introduced me to to the Lord in the end and things like that so I would go on Retreats with all my single friends too and you just spent the day it was it was the middle of the the woods this camp but I remember spending the whole day there just getting soaking in you know some different type of therapy and just be more like just talking to somebody or she listens to you cuz I find a lot of people don't listen to you A lot of people just you don't want to talk for the sake of saying something instead of just sitting there and listening in a real Coach just sit there and listen and then gives the feedback that they hear back that's what this woman was doing and she brought stuff up from my childhood that I didn't even realize was bothering me so I came to find out to that that's part of Asia Foster Care Ministry
I had been a part of a check of course in that and it gets right down to the root of our triggers basically any trigger we have is why based so what is the lie that we are believing in that moment and where do we first find it so or when did we first experienced it and nine times out of 10 it takes you right back to some place in childhood that you know your parents are your grandparents or somebody has told that is a complete lie on you just bring God into the situation and he tells you the truth on that and then you know it's all about feelings and for me I buried my feeling so far deep that I'm still striving so finding new ones now that I've allowed myself to feel so for me taking that time was just you know surrounding myself with women that I knew that I could be safe with like I said that was different weekend and I also just really about time I I had to move back in with my parents at that time
and I spent a lot of time in my room and I was just you know reading and researching and just journaling I did a lot of journaling I still do and this really poured all my thoughts my feelings my heart into these journals and just letting go of everything that has transpired in the 10 years leading up to that so that's beautiful and what so Fellowship time with changing your circle and you found people who hoard of a net listing key is so important you mentioned that just just that ear that says that you are important enough to be listened to that validates the Valdez is in our soul and there are so many people you mentioned this is well that are so out of touch with your feelings I they don't know they buried those feelings a long time ago because so many of them were painful painful so I love the fact that you got your getting in touch with your feelings
I like to talk about that in just a second but triggers are alive based what do you mean by that that's great for somebody who has the light at your thinking is a jerk no good no one's ever going to love you you know sometimes you feel like a failure of these are all feelings but I felt so you know no one would love me or I'm going up I also realize that I had to perform I thought I had to perform in order to be loved so in my household my dad was huge on work ethic like huge if we missed it we can miss a day of school unless you were on her deathbed or work when we were growing up and he didn't even realize that he was doing this was mostly everyone felt it but he didn't even realize that we brought it up like one as we've been older and he's like I didn't do that and I'm like yeah that you did you know so
I felt like I have it to work and perform in order for him to accepting or to be loved so which wasn't true but that is you know what we were made to feel and you know the fact that I thought that no one would love me will that wasn't true but that's what I was thinking at the time so that would be no just triggered back down from the bullying you know when I was in public school because kids are cruel and I have a 9 year old step son and you know you know someone so that was mean to me and they said this on the playground. None like you know I'm the type to which kid is it let's go on the thermostat by KISS. Espada you know buddy just people are cruel Just Let It Go but you know then there's the times like this kid reads repeated okay let's just go out there
do we have to be your mom and try to get the kids together and have it have the moms be the Allies in that you always used to tell my kids didn't hurt people hurt people so there's definitely something going on behind the scenes I heard something interesting on my commute to work this morning that said oh gosh I can't think of the speaker's name but either way she said when someone does something to hurt you and you as a person who I was also bullied when I was in school and so I can remember it being tormented you do for for a long time those words and the ax would stick the need my mind I keep your ruminating over them and so and thinking trying to you know get better outcomes where I'd be the upper dog Underdog all the time but this particular person that hurts when he said that when someone does something that you find a fence if they hurt you in some way to write their name down and you of course you can always remember what they did but
30 days you pray for their happiness and I thought I wish I would have known that when I was in grammar school or middle school are you guys I wish I would have had that package and let you know what I know it's real it's a very hard thing to do but you sound like a great stepmom that that's something you can partner with the say hey let's do this in and see you know where that takes you because it's it's really is challenging and we do know that hurt people hurt people but that bullying has a lasting impact on people's lives that is real is a real thing you don't do anything about it like if you don't get any help or even talked to some of your right ear is that what people used to say what sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me and I thought what words do permanent damage if we don't if we don't get in there like you said and talk to someone in and read books like the ones that you're writing that are really geared to help us get in there and do that in our work because the truth of the matter is whether it's bullying or something else none of us gets
this journey called life without being hurt by somebody or something right in that thing and whatever it is has the potential to really do a number on our self-esteem and how we feel about ourselves so another question I have is its low self-esteem and anxiety are qualities that can ruin the best relationships how have you noticed your relationship improved once you were able to overcome your challenges with low self-esteem and anxieties I totally somebody who has gone through you know being abusive relationship for so long and you know I know I know what to do to get myself back but there are there definitely it's definitely a huge Improvement like I know that if I go to my husband and say Hey you know this is what happens when you said this is how I feel
like that's not what I meant at all but I like okay so you know we talked about it talk about it communication is key and the relationships that I had I would just like shut right down I wouldn't bother talk so therefore nothing was resolved because I didn't talk I figured what was the point you know he was just going to think and do whatever I said but with my current relationship I definitely see a huge Improvement because you know I
if we all have bad days so you know somebody could say something to you and I just let it for the most part Just Bounce right off I'm like oh well they're just having a bad day you know I don't internalize what people are saying negative to me I don't internalize it where before everything was like oh my God you know they said this and they said this in this is true know you know that's not the case and and I've definitely learned with my husband you know communication or are you did this you want to talk about it well this is this is what had happened and I know I used to have a very bad very bad temper so meaning that if somebody like something you would say something I would just fly off the handle without even thinking about it and now I I just process it before I say anything because I don't want to be like you said her
are people so I would just flashback I would have that person that was yelling at me which is two wrongs don't make a right so you know taking the time to step back and to reflect on it first before you have that conversation with the person I love that that said self-awareness right which is so hard to do when we're in the middle of painting experience in pain because you're right that someone does something that offends you in automatically you mentioned the word triggers earlier automatically that wrong triggers these deep-seated wrongs that have been done in there is the eagle stand to attention and it's ready to protect you and you become this person that is a you say while you're overreacting and you think you know I'm just I'm protecting myself even though it's subconscious we're not even aware that you're doing it it's just there's and I love how you talked about shutting down because it made me think when you said that a John Gray and many years ago wrote the book on Men Are from Mars Women Are from Venus and I probably inverted the top this
the title their butt and he mention about men going into their cave and not communicating but I I just like you used to when something really bothered me I would shut down all communication because that was the only part that I wasn't really you know haven't been head traumas and my childhood will it was to be safe to give me some time to think about what my exit plan was our safety strategy even though you do all these subconsciously I don't even think you know you're doing it for me not to talk I just can't talk at the same time where I planned my safety Mike's my safety strategy exactly exactly like you said what's the point they've already made up their mind about you and you know sometimes we stay in the relationship longer than we should so it has to laughter so so many times of hearing that
and I relationship that is healthy sometimes it's hard for you to accept that hey you know this isn't my ex or this isn't the person that had hurt me so right Ben brush I hear the music to come back right after this break and more on this topic
all are welcome
Unity online radio
the voice of an Awakening world
create and build a life of your dreams welcome back to Everyday Beast with Doctor dravon James
welcome back to Everyday piece We are continuing with our special guest on Dorothy Graham Odell and we are discussing overcoming the effects of trauma in our life will I think that's the best way to say these are traumas in our life that may have led to his habits and low self esteem issues and anxiety issues just really not like that that is below the happiness gradient where we want to be right I love that you deserve to have a total full life meaning that one you feel all of your emotions right you feel all the emotions and Dorothy you said something in the first half of our show about not being able to feel your emotions what was that like what was that experience like not being able to feel your emotions I'm not sure everybody can relate to that or knows that they can't do it
all right well for me it was just like some sleeping completely shutting down inside it was like the world is going on around me but inside I didn't like my it felt like my heart was empty I felt like I had just given and given and given and it had been beaten so dat been beaten down so badly that I didn't allow too many people in so you had to be my immediate family in order for me to really you know let you into any deep conversation and I was going to have so many people and so many people had just like stomped all over it so yeah it was a feeling of being like just shut off like you know I was still you know nice to people and things like that but okay so somebody had once said do you not feel God in your heart and I'm like what does that feel like they were describing the feelings and I'm like
I have no idea what you're talking about cuz to me it doesn't feel like I think it was had no knowledge of me but I didn't understand it and I didn't understand but the sacrifices I now I understand it now it's just like to be honest there are still times that I like I'll allow myself to feel only so much and then I'm like okay that's enough healing a bathroom on to the solution so yeah solution-oriented and you know just to get past that do for me I really I'm actually working with somebody right now to help get that so I'm talking to her on Saturday and she's just like and I started crying she goes no feel the emotion and I'm like I don't want you feel it so I did I sat there and I cried in front of you know that I had inside of me and I needed that because
people in the world that I know you know put that in front of me and my friend John has said to me you know you have to you're there for everybody but you have to allow somebody to come into your life to speak to your you know to be able to speak life back into you you can't just be the one pouring out all the time and that's twice and Sunday I had a friend of mine has a life show that they do on LinkedIn life and their message was basically the same thing you know people it's a it's a blessing for other people to help you cuz I have a real hard time accepting help cuz I feel like it sometimes that can be a burden right and I don't want to ever feel that way although I will help everybody in there and it doesn't really matter but to accept it sometimes it's hard to accept and I was like yeah and I was slapped in the face with this two times in a row
I think that is that probably is a phrase that's key to people who are a solution-oriented it is this thing of you know if we can just keep focus on the solution that I can make it better without having to be burdened with what I feel right now and
to me we do ourselves such a disservice when we don't feel too because our emotions are there like they're like a guidepost right it's those emotions that say oh oh oh yeah I want more of this or no not so much as that next time maybe we will you know how we learn to God I feel this when I'm in this environment so I know that that environment is not the healthiest environment for us but if we cut ourselves off as you mention from our emotions that we don't help me cut off a part of our chest tools right that those tools that are there to help us and to guide us and help us navigate to a happy life and I'm feeling like I think that's so important and you know this idea of not being able to feel your feelings and then going into the space where you can feel your feelings I think sometimes we always think all well you know the feelings that we're looking for are the sadness feels when you cut off feelings and you can tell right or wrong I think when you cut off when you when you put that barrier up as we as Medicaid
do to protect themselves and they cut off feelings and they can they're numb they also missed out on a lot of those joyous things to everything becomes a means to an end right yeah so that you cut your blessings off too so it's really not a great thing to put yourself in touch with my feelings but I want to hear you know what what are some of the things that you've done to help you get in touch with your feelings and how did you what did you have like a strategy that helps you do that for me the street at the things that I've done over the course of the last 10 years and the first one is I have a morning routines that is non-negotiable I get up at 4:00 in the morning I meditate for 15 minutes write down five things that I'm grateful for 10 affirmation soudan affirmation is like an IM statement
I know if I have time I will sit there and journal anything that came up in my meditation time you know what God was telling me about and then I move my body for 30 minutes or at least try to make my body for 30 minutes whether that's dancing with her that's you know it depends with covid-19 my schedule has changed in the last year about ready to change again so you don't make that time or if I don't have time exactly right then it on my lunch hour when I'm at work I'll go for a walk and things like that the next thing I have done is definitely it goes back to my triggers and finding out to the state like I've known this for 10 years but I have trained myself why if I get into one of those grumpy mood so why am I grumpy you know what is the cause of that grumpiness or you know if anxiety
once in a while that will come up. You often I've learned to you know navigate my way through that but then again it's the trigger is mostly what am I what if I am I feeling you know it's against my face so what why am I what am I thinking at that moment and you know I walk myself through the process of bringing myself back to you you know when I originally heard it and I have trained myself to do this like right on the spot you know cuz I don't I don't want that negativity to stay there and the longer that it stays there the longer that you're unhappy so I wanted her to hurry up and turn those feelings around as quickly as possible so I will take the time and walk myself through the procedure find out what that Liars find out what the truth is and go all right bring that truth into that lie on the next thing I've Incorporated
which this has just happened I got engaged November of 2018 my dad got diagnosed for the first time with cancer in April 2019 so we were the winter Cancer Clinic here in Windsor Ontario is a phenomenal on again if anybody any of the family members wanting it want a social worker you're definitely you know allowed to do to your social services so I was speaking to my social worker and she said you know what do you mean I have a full-time job on planning a wedding and my dad just got cancer. There's no time left over for self-care she goes well you need to find the time because if you don't you're just going to burn out and you'll be no good to anybody
so I wrote down a list of 20 things that I like to do and I started doing those things whether you know there's 24 hours in a day so you got to find at least 15 minutes to do something on your list that you like to do stuff for me I love to read books just as much as I like to write them so either that I tried the best thing but that's not my jam a lot of people like massages are my jam so that's something I like to do for self-care or you know going for walks I love being outside so I'm going for you know however long I have I'll just go for a walk so I just encourage people to find out what they really like to do and start doing it because I I find even with covid-19 we have forgotten what it is that we like to do and we have forgotten who we really are and you know forgotten but okay we're all in this together so let's just find something
we like to do and start doing it I love it and I wanted to say this really quickly and we have a caller on the line I'm going to pick that up in just a moment's I love everything that you just said about exploring yourself you know this self-awareness finding out with where the Liars what is causing this what is what is the story that you were telling yourself and you're right it's rooted in a lie and then tell him to shove the truth about that story and this idea of self-care and writing down 20 things you like to do and I can tell you I work with a people and I had a conversation with someone very recently and it said you know I don't really don't eat you like to do and for those people I encourage you write down 20 things you like to try you don't need to be perfect or good at any of them you know I love the fact you tried the bad thing that wasn't your jam I could probably live in the bath I tell you 24 hours a day
yeah it's right down sweet things that you like to try and then try them again just and then you do your own research on you how how phenomenal is that you do research on you and you can just check off the list nope I didn't like that I didn't like that any better you're going to end up through that research discovering some things that were not on your list the Fey you like that so that's so important to her self care if I may I want to just get this call on the line for us
hello welcome to the everyday P show and our fabulous guess today is Dorothy Graham Odell did you have a question or comment sort of sublimating a feeling that I had an observation could it be that maybe sometimes people do that because the most of their life they I guess that actions have been based on feelings Knox your guest talks about how seat when my favorite word is pragmatic and she seems to be a very pragmatic person and so she was learning how to utilize her feelings but then some people on the opposite end of that and they act they still got feelings which is related clearly to emotion and so could it be that of people have found that the more acting my feelings are more I seem to go outside to go in the other direction and say you know what I'm going to not a base my actions or feelings because they haven't been a good barometer to me so if that's the case how do people learn
to have a balance with that I guess that's my question
oh I love that question
that is a good question
send for me I would say it's personal like it's a personal choice so I agree with you some people tend to be overly emotional and you're feeling on some people shot right down so I guess
what I would say is try different things and see what works for you because you don't want to be numb but you don't want to be a happy person to wouldn't be too bad I just don't know what that was feel like I don't know what it be like to walk when a cloud a bubble everyday
yeah and I think I think it's great you say sometimes our feelings to can lead us if we don't you know and tell me what you guys think about this but for me I think I'd like a Brahma to write so if there's any damage to be watched I'm driving so you don't have that on every feeling that you had could you imagine if we did that until you mentioned about sometimes people say when I get myself in trouble because maybe I'm acting this way because I'm feeling this way but I think it is no adulting maybe 101 then we're watching that feelings at all yeah I'm acknowledging yet I see that's what I'm feeling right now but it doesn't we just watch and soon on the heels of that feeling another feeling will come in if that feeling didn't produce the type of action that you think is appropriate but you're always aware of it so you know I feel this way in the situation so I know that there that feeling is trying to tell me something is not meant we just sat to act out or do you know zapout or anything like that but it is
tell me something about the environment or the circumstance or the people that I'm with it so just acknowledging it and being aware that it exists in that there's a message and there's a learning in there for you
let's fix it stick
and did you have a question in a comment or was that I wanted to follow up with I didn't but when you said what you said when I was talking about feeling and I wasn't necessarily talking about people acting in 9 adult Behavior but what if you have feelings about yourself based on what people say that you so you feel inferior or you feel like you're worthless so you feel this or that that can lead to actions that may not be most beneficial to you the love of talking about that as well not just talkin about people let's go crazy emotional because they're angry about this ain't about that don't figure out how to work through that but what about those deeper feelings that you how you feel about yourself and then that that that could dictate how you behave and so like how do you because if you have those feelings about yourself I mean that's really high heel and it could be based on what other people said but you've processed it so now he's going to stay right away 2 2 2
eliminate that but in the meantime while you're working on that if you're working on it how do you balance that that's that's I guess I was looking at that as well
that is awesome and I can tell you one thing I lived my entire 41st 40 years pleasing everybody else and what everybody you know I have the sauce when I worked at Pizza Hut at the title my God I hate the sound of your voice and I was crying and I was just like I was in my team so you know she could have chosen to Murray's I'm and I really had to take a step back and I had to have to really say to myself well this person's is you know you really know me this person you know doesn't pay my bills and third like I think that if somebody has spoken out and said something negative to you that you really don't know you or they're like if you go back to the hurt versus hurt people hurt hurt people that I really think you know you have to discern like if somebody says something
you know that's a lie right unless I must you know what somebody that is really
a bad person but there's not too many of them out there and God redeems everybody so you know if somebody hadn't gone for a patchwork you know they weren't really nice person they kill somebody or hurt somebody and about in a negative way then you know there's always Redemption but I always had to go back to you know knowing my true self and you know to me what they said was is that it was that the truth and knowing that it wasn't the truth I then had to disassociate myself from that meaning that I just I didn't put any stock into it so somebody I know had also said don't let people rent space in your head for free and I totally get it because like I said I spent the first three years of my life just you know believing what everybody said and that obviously didn't get me anywhere so
encourage people to you know see what people say line up with your True Values your your core beliefs about yourself and who you really are and if it doesn't then just throw it in the trash
thank you thank you very much great guests enjoy your day keep listening
so yet. LOL I love the questions and you're right don't let anyone rent space in your head that's so interesting I had someone wants to tell me that to that they hated the sound of my voice and now I can tell you I I get at least 10 emails a day in that sells adoration people told me just the opposite. Oh my God out there please do not let someone else's opinion of you change your your goals and your desires in life that's just one person and I don't care if it's 20 people that don't let it derail you from the plans and that you have for you in the you know so that's so important because that's that's their opinion it should not have that much and packing you don't let them rent permanent space in your head I love that I absolutely love that you said so much that I want to kick it back to and I want to go back to the self care because I know from coaching many many people that self-care is something that people say they don't have time for and you
waiting at the social worker what self-care I don't have time for that you know I'm working full-time I'm planning a wedding my dad is not doing well so anytime that you did have you were there but I would say this and you and you can chime in on this to me self care is like deciding is that your body the vehicle that you live in this body is like a car and that's like saying that your gas tank is on a quarter of a tank you don't have time to stop for gas but you intend to make a hundred mile trip. It made me near gas station or your gas station but that is going to eventually stop you're not making a hundred mile trip with a quarter tank of gas most likely and that's the same thing with our bodies that we can push them and they make it look as though they're still going but their parts of that parts of this machine called the body and the mind that we need to be functioning and their functionality starts to diminish as we did
Hyatt self-care that's how important self-care is it's a huge thing and it's it's not a plaything like oh I don't have time to play it I don't have time to rest and I know that pragmatic people in it are really goal oriented people you mention that about yourself is that you have a go at ask in front of you and that task that you're so just remember that you are worth that love our listeners to and I'm so glad that you found your way through it or continue this is a process right it is a journey getting their satin finish road so it is just busy. It is just used early so you know let's talk a little bit we've been talking about you know your theories and what you've done yourself let's talk a lot up a little bit more about your book and give the audience the title again where they can find it let's do that information cuz I really want people to get this book to get on the road to self care and self-discovery
facing challenges with faith and courage and it can be found on Amazon so anybody who has felt like they're alone for anybody who has felt that they were unworthy for anybody who has felt but you know that there has been one family thing after another for anybody out there that has or anybody that wants to help somebody that they know that has gone through the situation definitely the book is for them you know it's I wrote this book to help people and it is funny because the amount of people that I have bet while trying to promote this book and and getting my name out there because no one knows who Dorothy Grandma dollars of Windsor Ontario nobody has are starting to know who she is
I find there was some lonely times in my life and I felt like there was nobody to reach out to I just want people to know that you know you don't have to be in this life and live it alone that there are people out there that are willing to help you so again that's why I wrote the book so that it would be an inspiration to others and to help those people that have gone through you know low self-esteem somebody has lost her family by Suicide or you don't have parents that have been chronically ill or somebody that has been mentally and verbally abused and you know some people say that that's even worse then being physically abused and there were times I actually said to a friend I wish you would just smack me cuz then I'd have enough gumption to just follow them and latest but you know they have this they have this philosophy that they make it look like it's your fault so that you're always in a constant tailspin data on a hamster wheel that I'll maybe it is
I thought maybe maybe it isn't him and in the book you know I go over what it was the situations that I face and so people can identify and say Hey you know that's where I am right now and it isn't okay you know it is not okay to stay in a relationship that you know that you should run some so again the name is the Overcomer facing challenges with faith and courage and you can get your copy on my Amazon today thank you so much you have both is a blessing to the show you and body you know what are you waiting for absolutely nothing you took the bull by aren't you get yourself to a position of safety physically mentally and emotionally and the journey continues in and I think that's for all of us that's really that's really what this is all about getting herself to a situation where we are safe to grow and discover more of ourselves so our journey can can continue and for our listeners are there any does definitely continue as well this show plus every other show is so important to you to get out to your
and your family and you can subscribe to the doctor drayvon James everyday podcast on Apple Spotify Google Play and Stitcher or you can direct your friends and family to listen to the show on the unity online radio. Org website because I'm gold this year you guys is to really open our self up we are not waiting for any savior on the outside of us to come in and magically fix the world we are powerful to do that we had the guests we have tablets guess today and we have fabulous guess yes last week and more to come who sparked something and I said I know that they do because it she sparked something in me today to remind us that hey I am important
I am gifted with so many talents I could do whatever it is that you that your purpose in your heart to do knowing that there is a community that supports your grow your development towards your best life your next level of greatness remember you are worthy of a life of abundant health wealth and relationships and you can have that you absolutely can have that so getting to that place of happiness is there for you my name is dr. Dre Bond James your listing to the everyday peace show with dr. Dre by James know that I absolutely love you and I can't wait to talk to you next week
you've been listening to every day cakes with Doctor Trevon James you have the power right now today to make the decisions to take the actions that lead you to your next level of greatness and I would love to walk with you on your journey here some ways we can connect schedule a coaching session contact me as info at dr. Dre Ron James. Com enroll in my online university course to 2020 Clarity court at The Institute for leadership and lifelong learning International in role of the brilliant life 9 weeks online coaching session with me and Keisha Dixon info at Doctor Trevon James. Com purchase my book feed him is your first break from Amazon thank you for being and every day Peacemaker I absolutely love you
thank you for listening this is Unity online radio the voice of an Awakening world
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