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Bringing Intimacy Back, September 30, 2021

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Bringing Intimacy Back
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Guest, Rich Lewis

Bringing Intimacy Back with Dr. April Brown, co-host Dr. Kelly Bushey and guest Rich Lewis

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Bringing Intimacy Back

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As we look around in this world today, it seems we are becoming more disconnected from one another, even though we have the technology to connect to more and more people than ever before. Furthermore, the lack of intimacy (in its many forms) is one of the top three reasons why relationships struggle and many times end.

Thus the Bringing Intimacy Back talk show is a show dedicated to inspire, enlighten, and encourage intimate connections. This show provides an engaging atmosphere to discuss and demonstrate ways to enhance intimacy in one’s personal relationships with significant others, families, friends, Higher Power, and oneself. The show will discuss intimate connections in many different forms, such as sex, communication, emotional, physical, health, and spiritual. In fact, research has shown that as we increase our intimate connection with ourselves, our Higher Power, and others.  It will help decrease the conflicts, anxiety, and depression in our lives.

THE MISSION

Increasing intimacy for all has become Dr. April’s mission. The mission statement of the show is to provide an atmosphere to discuss and demonstrate ways to increase closeness in one’s personal relationships with significant others, families, friends, Higher Power, and oneself. Therefore, Dr. April started in February 2018 to host her own new Radio/TV Show Bringing Intimacy Back where she and other intimacy experts will provide resources and tips on increasing intimacy in all types of relationships. Audience members will be able to transform their relationships through relationship experts’ insights, useful and practical resources, role-playing, and audience participation. The show’s goal is to show its audience members that intimacy can be alive and real in the relationships we desired.

Show Transcript (automatic text 90% accurate)

welcome to the bring intimacy back show we are intimacy is real if you desire to intimately connected with your self your significant other children and family friends community and your higher power this show is for you that's we explore intimate topics inspiring life story beer Tuality and insightful tips on strengthening relationships this show is hosted by dr. April ever tell those dr. Kelly now let's get this episode of the bringing intimacy back show started because we share with you the secret power to intimacy to create a life you love or love the life you create now here's your host dr. April Kelly welcome to the bring an intimacy that show where it's Missy is real how are you doing dr. Kelly well I'm a little apprehensive I have a party tomorrow at my house my first party
but I think they're going to be fine with going to be fine with you you know yeah I'll just wait possibly not enjoy that part yes definitely extremely nervous and so that's what I did I took a walk in my neighborhood yes and then I found someone he really likes to be outside and then I found this quiet little bit it's been in this neighborhood for I think maybe 8 years but I've never seen this bench before and you know what I did I sat down and I talked with my higher power yes yes if that was just one I mean how many times you walked by that then to never noticed it before no no and so I am really excited about today's topic
I miss Minneapolis are going through testing myself we're going to Transitions many times we do not know how to talk and listen to today's topic is sitting with God
call Edwin be more timely for me and let me introduce you to our expert on sitting with God I'm Richard Lewis hi Richard Richard is an expert and author is speaker in a coach who focuses on centering prayer as that inner transformation and for us at the bringing is Missy back we talked a lot about intimacy that interconnection that Center and broke local and virtual communities one and one on lie he has a newest book which is sitting with God a journey to your true self centering prayer he publishes weekly meditations book reviews and a lot of different things and he says he's been doing this sending prayers
June 1st of 2014 which is almost seven years ago after my first question to you is why is June 1st 2014 so important. I don't know what was so magical about that date I had stumbled across maybe that's not the right word but it is found me need to practice itself found me in late 2013 in a book that I was cruising just looking for a book on Amazon and then I started reading a book called killing a divided recovering Christianity's Mystic Roots by Amos Smith and in his book he talked about a practice called centering prayer which is the silent prayer words with sprayer practice he had been doing for about 15 years or so up until that point and you treated me because I'd always been attracted to silence I just didn't really know what to do in the silence so there was a practice I could do in the silence so I began
trying it out and then I decided what was so significant about you and one that I don't know why but other than maybe I was just ready is June 1st I decided I was going to I'll call it jump in the Center swimming pool and practice it twice a day 20 minutes each time as much as possible to get the benefits of of the practice so I guess June 1st I was probably just ready I had been practicing silence but not maybe not daily and maybe not twice a day it and maybe not as long as 20 minutes and something clicked inside me that said that that's just do this and that's that's commit to it and it just so happened me tune 120 14th when I made that decision
awesome yes and so what is solid prayer and I know you even have a website called selling peaches.com but what is salad for sure so Center in prayer, which is a form of Silent prayer which is worthless prayer I'll give a brief history it's been around since the early 1970s if it was created actually by three Trappist monks 03 Catholic priest saw other forms of meditation happening and they wanted something for the christian community so they kind of challenge themselves to create a practice and in one of the priest Father William manager was reading an old I think it's a fourteenth-century book I might just say that you're wrong call The Cloud of Unknowing and in it he found kind of the method of centering prayer I'm so centering prayer cell and I'll say he also tell you how you do it because people are wondering where I will how do you do it so it's been around since the early 1970s and it was created as a reaction to his death
create something for the christian community so how you do it is you sit comfortably with your eyes closed to begin your time you introduce a word into early if one or two syllable so could be God could be ocean it could be loved it could be Jesus and that signifies your opening to the presence and actions of God within
and then you begin your your silence it and then whenever you begin engaging your thoughts and what I mean by that is whenever you think about what you're doing before you're sick or you begin thinking about what you're going to do after your ship may be running the ball they were going to watch a movie begin to realize you're no longer sitting with God you're you're sitting with your thoughts and your planning in your plotting you reintroduced that word come back to the present moments and the purpose of your time of sitting with God and opening to the presents and actions of God with him and you do that as long as you're doing your silence it so if you chose and 10 minutes you'll do that yeah you'll use your sacred word when needed it and it's not uses a mantra so that there are larger base practices centering prayer is not a mantra where you're repeating it you're only using it when needed so sometimes you naturally bring yourself back other times you realize you're you're doing a lot of planning and plotting and strategizing and you've reached the word
come back to the present moment a little bit about the history of how long it's been around how it was created and and how you do it
it sounds like it's so personal
and so and so many of us are it's hard to slow down
I think that's crucial that says be still and know that I am God and how hard it is for me to be still I know that he is God but for me that being still person what would you say to people that have a hard time slowing down enough to be silent in
happy staring prayers can be difficult for people just to slow down because you think you need to be doing something so for those that are it's it's do the idea is to take baby steps so they don't have to start with 20 minutes as I said and I didn't start with 20 minutes so I would even start with one 1 minute to 5 minutes of us sitting in silence and seeing how it goes and then slowly increasing the time and that after you're comfortable with it and you and you a BFF established to a one-month sitting half and I'll call out of second sense it at some point later in the day we're coming home when you said I said first thing in the morning before I do anything and then I begin my day and then my second set is usually before lunch because it really ID to the interior Reservoir has run dry and I and I need to reset and reconnect myself a life protect myself to God I do a second-set and then it I-5
that my second half the day continues well and Anna strong is perhaps the first time so that's what I would encourage people to take baby steps start small do it once maybe do it first thing in the morning and just do it for a few minutes and work your way up
yeah I was just thinking as I was hearing that many people are so used to when they pray they talked to God they just say a lot of words and praise and and ask him for things
but you and you sitting there what happens to you and you're not actually you know praising him are talking to what actually happened short so what I think it was reversed prayer cuz you're connecting with God at a deeper level Beyond thoughts and emotions I think it was a reverse prayer God is praying and you what you need and that might be in her peace and calm it might be wisdom for tasks might be nudges to get out of your comfort zone so it's that you can equate it to a lot of times when you're just taking a walk with her friend nobody is talk and you're just with each other or if you're sitting on the porch with a friend or a spouse or significant other know I always have to have words you're just together and you like being that way with that person so it's similar to that where you're sitting with someone know Works required but at the same time with was sitting with God God's acting out us at a deeper level at inter internally so that's why would we use our sacred when when we engage our thoughts we let go
of thoughts and Things We Tell ourselves that aren't true to ourselves or worrying wearing xiety we let go of all of that and open up to God and in the things God wants from us which I don't think our fear and anxiety God wants us to enjoy life and go and do things and then get out of our comfort zones and trying to do things so that that's really what happens to Center and prayers your letting go of who you are not the things you tell yourself that are true open up open up the God wants you to have a beautiful wonderful life and end live from your when I call your true self the person God wants you to be you connect to that person during centering prayer to the person God wants you to be at the end of life God wants you to enjoy
saurabh Sharma
what is your view of God
sure
so don't tell us you will be okay and I want to hear yours also decorating
shorten and I know and I do people's idea of God is is all over the place so many many years ago the idea of God for me and this is probably going back Thirty or forty years was God was outside of me looking down at me by Trina sizing need judging me maybe saying you're not hitting the mark you need to do better and as a result of centering prayer and sitting with God God has changed for me so God is no longer up in the sky looking down at me angry at me God God is a lot of things first of all God is within me I'm not God and I don't claim to be God but God is within me and I'm connecting to God during my silence it but God is also no behind me pushing me forward in life holding my hand walking with me and God is ahead of me kind of pulling me forward and not you need to get out of my comfort zone but got freak Show for me God is just as beautiful
presence loving presence that Dad loves me it and end that wants nothing but the yo kind of prosperity and that's not what I need but just a God who truly loves me but is also Within Me is as well a tent is not angry at me and just loves me
oh that's beautiful deals. It's a sentiment that I talk to that want to practice Center in prayer it is scary because they think they're sitting with a guy who's angry at them and then they have to take a lot of time to get over that type of reaction and over that type of God that they been living with
about you. Sorry for what you look you up.
She said she still has a knot on my view of God originally they say that your your view of God is off in your view of your Earthly father so my heart and in my prayers and in my talents or something with Dad asking for things my prayers of Supplication were very very difficult for me and then a relationship and not really involved conversation listening to him that's the quiet part right and then communicating back with him so maybe it is very personal experience
how would you encourage people to take that first step
so just in terms of God during prayers relationship it can go from 1 minute to 20 minutes at the daily practice
but there's still a little intimidated but they're going to try so what would you how would you jump encourage them to start quite frankly to you starts to make it the first thing you do is begin your day make it 1-1 minute or two minutes if you find us is going to be extremely difficult and just come as you are and end show up and do your sit don't judge your sit if you can't fail etcetera and prayer that you show up you've done it right and if you had a lot of thought that's okay that's why you have your sacred word to return to and bring yourself back to the present moment so it's it's really just a prayer that you really can't fail at if you don't show up that's the only way you fail but that doesn't mean you're a failure just need to forgive yourself and show up for your next time show up next morning don't beat yourself up to show up the next morning so so that's why I would tell
I'll just be kind and gentle with yourself because God God is patient and will wait for you to show up next time if you don't come the first time God's not going to get angry though Spirit call Guy fire power steering gear she will patiently wait for you to show up for your next it and it is delighted when you when you show up
I don't have a lot of time for a little bit during my vacation but it'd be happy with Jessica to copy it doesn't mean to be a full hour and so by showing off then I can have that opportunity to have that intimate conversation so instead of saying like some people that I'm ready radio a word with u 5 minutes of work with you and he he says that if you put the main thing is just approaching time and when we work with Native Americans there a different other cultures
I how do I broke the sky and Ron hutchcraft So I says conversation stuff using the word prayer which is so intimidating depended upon your past history was going to add Church in history with the church and how we approach God they can be very fearful so
let's have a conversation with. It sounds to me that it is but it's really not that it's more of a sitting at as my book says sitting with God so it's not it's it's just a different way to pray so there's verbal prayer you're talking to God this is Alliyah this is all internal so you're sitting with God and you're just letting go of your thoughts and emotions into opening to God and she's sitting with God and letting God act in a sit at a deeper level 8 you noticed that what you know sat outside of your prayer time so you're not going to notice how this type of silent meditation it is meditation but it's also a relationship with God so it's really consider two things meditation and really a way of his deepening your relationship with God so it is prayer but it's silent prayer with with it beyond words
thoughts and emotions and letting God after you at a deeper level and then noticing how it has changed you outside of your prayer time know over the Long Haul don't give up your other forms of prayer and I pray verbally I do other types of prayer this is just another way to pray that can complement and enrich your prayer life at and maybe even in a deep in it
I get the schedule you know how when
so it's a different type of a communication with your actual being still and you might be able to hear God's voice much longer because you know and you're leaning in to listen to him when we come back from break we'll talk a little bit about a little bit more about this and it looks like I have a question for you.
are you going to take a vacation in Paradise vacationing to rekindle the Russian vacation without the kids a vacation where you can learn how to communicate where you and your partner actually hear each other and game inside if so vacation counseling is your next vacation April Brown has created vacation counseling and Southwest Florida has a perfect option for you and your partner our Retreats are one couple at a time we have a variety of packages available to choose from including virtual Couples Retreat if you and your partner interested in the vacation counseling please visit us at vacation counseling.com for more information on pricing and packages also follow us on Instagram and Facebook to keep track of the latest news stories activities or coupons on vacation counseling and Doctor April's other services we encourage you to still have to receive a monthly newsletter called intimate connection
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welcome back to the bringing intimacy back show where in the sea is real and where with Rich Lewis the author of many books and specially talking today about silent prayers and centering welcome back after April Brown yes my life and everything right now so sorry about that I don't know what you're into the prayer and that it really is a different style of prayer but it is with your higher power and God and then how we have many different impression you got it and sometimes I can be based on our personal relationship with her biological father
and then but just noticed it maybe your view of God but that's not what does something that we haven't really talked about yet that you think is very significance to this approach to prayer
I guess I would say
I guess it requires discipline is not easy and and look for the fruits of the practice really outside of UPS of the prayer time so we should maybe I can just share like from me now that I've been doing it since June of 2014 and if I look at the one who was that who was I fired it at and who might now and how has God transform be through the whole process and I can clearly see that I'm a much more confident person in myself more excited to live life I'm more willing to get out of my comfort zone and try and do things, and less reactive person that was a working progress but I can stop myself and listen instead of reacting as quickly as I did in the past and your people and hear what they had to say and not react and then realize that what they have to say is is ism is important so the letting-go you do inside during prayer
who's with you into your everyday life is anything about sucking on this type of prayers you learn to let go of things that you don't need to do or the aren't important to you or anxiety and fear and it haunted in focus on the things you need to need to do cuz I think earlier I mentioned the I do a second-set and I've had this many people will say I don't have time I I can't do this I'm too busy and I'll tell them you just try it and trust me it has a way of giving you back time and I notice if your every time I do a second sit and then look back at the end of the day how my day went it was a productive because I took the time for second shift so just just like you let go during centering prayer the second half of the day I let go of the things I don't need to do and I can hold it in and focus on what I need to do when I end up being pretty productive and I think it's because I took the time for silence it so it has a way of giving you back time so those are some things that you noticed over the overtime is is the fruits
of the practice and how what God grace is you with and it tends to be unique for each practitioner and that's just how it has a way of giving you back time I'm outside of your Center in prayer and how it helps you let go outside of your practice as well
yeah I was just thinking how you just said it also gives you energy into action because when you slow it down then you get to the trash and when you're doing and you're hearing him and he can your hearing more throughout the day that gives you that sense of direction which of course would lower anxiety and of course you know Lord depression
right I mean it's kind of a byproduct of the practice so if you show Thomas Keating was really one of the founders of centering prayer he said something similar to get it if you do it it will to you and end in NFL overtime if this type of prayer and ask for any type of content practice like this over time heals you and it and transforms you it just does and if you do it it will do you just have to catch this show up to your practice is in the even if you don't want to show up that's just a thought or emotion that and let go of it and and show up any
Sonoma, professor and I'm like you can only fail if you don't show up there's a lot of truth to it yeah and I think through this you get a lot of fruits
I know for myself I'm directions Clarity yeah what if boots have you received from doing this. Short definition of myself just just did it a couple years ago I would be scared to death to be sitting on a call with you folks do it after my book came out but I've been on at least 50 or if I've added a 50/50 plus podcast terrified to do that I'm I do guess speaking in front of small and large groups I would have been scared to do that so just confidence to do things like that the idea of writing a book I mean I never had written anything in school probably more than six pages are so famous Smith who I've become friends with he was a gentleman that wrote that book that I mentioned earlier that where I discovered centering prayer he and I are friends we've been friends since about 2013 he was the one that challenged me to write this book and then kind of help me through this is the book process soap
to the fruits are really just confidence excitement for Life getting out of my comfort zone and sharing with the world my gifts at and how I can help people and at least introduce him to this type of prayer and see if it's something that can help them is that there's plenty of Contempo practices so this practice doesn't work for them there are other practices and then off and I share them with other people but for me it resonates with me and works really has worked really well with me so I'm going to continue digging deep in the center of farewell out call it
silver needs to be order and consistency you want to try to do with daily once or twice a day and just keep at it but then again forgive yourself if you don't show up and if you miss a day just forgive yourself move on and you and show up the next day in a relationship it's a real
people it includes consistency in communication sender receiver sitting and listening sometimes two people without interrupting
exactly it is if it's really all that I mean it teaches us how to do that says you if we can sit in silence with ourselves and with with God or or higher power or Spirit or whatever you want to call it a teaches how to do that with other people and had to sit with other people and be with other people in and listen to attend accept everybody's diversity and in different ways of doing things and different opinions so is he just knows how to do that it's a lot easier to divert attention to other people and to deal with some of the stuff that we don't understand within ourselves and certainly when you add the god2 it going down
I have to tell you I'm going to look into this little bit more because I've been doing moving way too fast and waiting for ya we say I guess if you're if you can just be then you're better at you're doing and me you'll tend to notice that you're if you can just learn to be
once a day for 10 minutes or 20 minutes then you're better at your doing
and kind of like with dr. Kelly was saying there's a lot of people that have a hard time sitting it but part of it is because their thoughts keep going so fast and a lot of the thoughts that keep going fast on a judgmental to themselves and I know you said earlier about forgiveness of sell so what I mean both of you what do you suggest the people who try to say and then there's these thoughts that come in that's if you don't remember what you did last night remember that remember that you're not watch out for this
what do you say to them and how to quiet those. So how did you let those thoughts and then I tell him let it flow like the clouds
yeah
and that's why you have the sacred word so when that happens if you use let go of them and come back to your sacred word to bring you back to the present moment and then you let go of your sacred words so if you have to continuously return to your sacred word what seems like a million times you keep doing it cuz sometimes you'll notice you have to use your sacred word that a ton of times other times you noticed that you don't have to use it that often than you naturally bring yourself back and then there might even be those times where you didn't fall asleep but you're not sure where you went you kind of entered the spaces between your between your thoughts that that can happen I've noticed that in my prayer time sometimes I racing thoughts that I have to continue to use the sacred word sometimes I can actually bring myself back when I catch myself engaging so awesome been planning and then there's other times where I was completely in between my thoughts and I didn't fall asleep fall asleep that's okay if you do
not if it is an app. So that's that's what you do that's the purpose of the Sacred word is just when you have rabies racing thoughts that's when you introduce your sacred word and it also doesn't have to be awake I actually use an image you can use you can you can use a word if you're more of an auditory person you can use an image if you're more of a visual person you can use your Wrath of people use their breath is there more physical people and some people are afraid they'll fall asleep so they open they keep your eyes open and stare at a spot 5 or 6 ft perhaps on the on the floor so you can use your multiple sacred message in the last thing I'll say is I've spoken to some people that have Attention Deficit Disorder so they said this is just impossible for me and I'll tell them you can do this you can take a walk and do centering prayer obviously you'll keep your eyes open and pay attention to where you're walking but you can walk and do cetera in prayer because there's your thinking and engaging the thought you can still use
your sacred word where the sacred picture it in your mind and you can walk and do Center in prayer if you need to because you just can't not sit I'm still okay I'm glad you mentioned it the other things I was curious why when you said it originally it was one or two syllabus where it since I was curious on why I just wanted to to love us just to keep it simple because if it's too long of a word then you're focusing on the any other thing I'll say is you want to keep it the same message during your sit so you don't want to change your words so we're Mighty blue and then the next word is read then you're going to spend more time in your mind taking or what should my next sacred method be and then you're really not sitting with God you're sitting with your secret thoughts and methods so you use the same message during your shift and it's easier if it's one or two syllables has makes it just makes it easier for me
a good point you're making as you want us to be it's not a word where you think and you think of that piece of the whole time then you better then you need to change your words remind me of like Lamaze know how they have to stay bringing something that's supposed to focus
the beach is like a banana or who's to know what it is but and how many people would actually come sit down by focusing on that so pick and choose this word it seems like everything that you've explained so far rich is that this is a personal personal event you can go to daily that'll help center yourself and in
it doesn't have to do it confessing like our typical like back in the fence or sometimes in prayer this seems to me that it is
very intimate
it is a truly is you're just sitting with God for you and your coming as you are in God's accepting you as you are and that's where I'm at and I know that that's not where everybody is at so for me I am now at the point where I'm just sitting with the presents that I that I know loves me but I'm also thinking of that I sit with God and then I get up and walk with God and God comes with me as I continue the day so it's not good by God I'll see you at my next said this is God's coming with me in this presents a powerful loving presence is coming with me as well in the same posture Let It Go posture comes with me outside of my silence set
yes and like she said that it's very intimate however are there are other two people do this with groups and no it's very individually most people practice it's on their own but there are so that the group was created in the early 1970s and then about ten years later the contempt for the Outreach organization was created they have a website call Contempo. Outreach.org Amin Thomas Keating was really one of the main Founders but then what they began doing is for different groups began being created all throughout the different states in the US it as well as internationally so different groups will practice Rico that they were practicing either in churches or buildings I'm so maybe once a week the group we could meet whoever would get together with would practice together now they're doing them via Zoom so no you can practice this alone but you can also
do it in a community is in a room with others and you can also do it on Zoom with your seventy-five to a hundred people in a zoom meeting doing centering prayer which is pretty neat actually Connection in beautiful Costa Rica
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hey welcome back to the Brandon Smith a show where intimacy is real and we've been talking with Rich Lewis about sitting and just listening with God I listen to Richard we do have a question from the audience her name is Mary and she's calling or she texting from Texas
and she could do it to this being a season that we're and she's experiencing a lot of Grease
and she's wondering with this practice help her get through the grief process
sure yeah man I would say it. It definitely can you cuz what you'll do is you'll come as you are to this silence it included including your grief and then you'll let go of it
are open to God I don't know where that the caller is at but centering prayer really becomes Thomas Keating one of the main Founders considered is divine therapy because what can happen during centering prayer is as you keep showing up to your sit at your body's hold a ton of tension and your minds hold a lot of thoughts and many of the thoughts are also repress it becomes a safe place where these will you unload all the tension in your body and then repressed boss come out so it is it's a safe place for that to happen and then over the Long Haul that's really kind of true Freedom if you think about it so we don't need to hold on to all this tension in our bodies and we don't need to hold on to a grief and thoughts and repressed emotions so overtime is he called the Divine Fair. We are healed no mind body and heart over the Long Haul from this type of practice so I would definitely
say yes this type of practice can help with grief and and she could be holding grief anywhere it within her body mind our hearts and so this type of practice Can can he can be very healing I'm curious after you go through that experience whether to minute 5 minutes or 20 minutes I'll what are your thoughts about
capturing a journaling after
going through something like this so you can remember what happened with you obviously after so wear your letting go and that's really what you're doing during the practice letting go of thoughts and emotions but allowing are you allowing it to happen so some people might experience with what we call on loading words suddenly traumatic experiences are are coming up and it coming out of them so and and your kind of sitting with it and then letting go of it but yes outside of your practice journaling is is not a it's not a bad practice to do after your set or any other point in time other than your stead where you're just journaling your thoughts and what what maybe came up and centering prayer and how you feel about it so now I think journaling and that's something I think I wish I I need to do more of his journal and could be very very powerful
yeah I noticed myself that win and I feel like I've had a talk with God and when I share the life I can remember it you know what I'm saying and so years later later when you look back you sometimes can gain some more perspective
yeah so these are single set and statements of things I want to do either mentally in my mental health or physical health or work or family related or even with the work I do with my website so they're single sentence statements of things that I want to do and why I read them before my ceterix it and I gave him that God and then I let them go and then I go into my silence it so I consider it on partnering with God on these affirmations and I consider them my true self affirmations that's what God and I together want to do and they remain an affirmation to know if I still have an excitement about them if I've inner peace and calm about them are allowed to be out of my comfort zone and then they should be as some of them and then lastly as long as they don't harm me or harm others they stay so I guess I do kind of a mini version
journaling where I'm reading the stick reading these to God and then going into my sit and letting them Brew with God and I together and I'll find out I read them kind of before I go to bed and let them through at night while I sleep it as well as your affirmations verbally out or do you say him in your mind okay by the time I talked them aloud and many times if I'm if I'm driving like this and I'm alone I'll just say them out loud just to say them so I say them in my car I said then this morning I was going to the dentist for a routine teeth cleaning 20 minutes away so I kind of have that memorized so I was teaching them out loud and then working my way through then as I rode to the dentist I was watching me they probably thought I was singing or thought I was crazy stuff
which I have a question from the audience when she's a mother in Michigan and she wanted to know if this is something that you can do with your family Yes actually you can do it together all together and anything is when I first started doing this my second City used to be in the evening after dinner so my kids two of my kids and I guess the one was for my son was for my daughter was twelve at the time they wanted to know what I was doing and I see the young the basement for about 30 minutes every night so I invited them down and they washed and then of course they both wanted their own one on one time so actually I used to do a 1-minute sit with my four year old and then I used to do about a 5 minutes it was with my daughter who is twelve at the time so yes they answer that question if you can do it with
significant other but you can also do it with children and you can kind of scale it for them for for my four-year-old one minute made sense and he enjoyed that for my daughter 5 minutes made sense and actually what I used to do with her she just didn't know it sounds really amazing that a twelve-year-old girl could be quiet for that long she would she has she started with her eyes open because she's afraid she's asleep but I used to say how long do you want to go and she say 5 minutes and then I was just actually act like 2 minutes to the timer she never knew so she never knew she was doing a couple minutes more than what she said
that's beautiful what a beautiful visual father with a child and that's like how I deal with are
it's me
and my son and I made it fun to make I will be lit a candle together and then we read their I used a couple of Outreach has an app for the timer in it and we just read a sentence together soon as I open my heart to your love and then we would do with the one that it said that we actually were lying down on the couch and he had his head on my chest which I love and then the bail would go off sitting signifying one that it ended and we get up blow the candle out together and that's that's what we did and then for my daughter we would do this said and then to spend some time talking just catching up in her life and in general so yes it's it's kind of a neat neat way of spending time with your kids as well and you can kind of make it give it to the activities that it needs that each kid needs as part of that practice young either before or after the sit
I'm just fascinated by that and let's just Let's do an antithetical appropriate for a moment Bridge how do you feel that if you've this were not in your life it where would you be today if you haven't taken the last seven years to be this
exact and contemplative and persistent about this relationship where do you think you'd be I just wouldn't be as confident I'm definitely a lot more confident so I know he said that was one of the fruits but I would say I'm I would have beat less much less confident but not only with some of the things that I'm doing as a result of my practice of getting on shows and podcast writing a book and coaching and speaking but also have a regular day today job I'm going to watch more confident person in my job and more and I interact with the corporate account I'm a much more confident person as I speak to them so I would I think the biggest thing is giving me is is really excitement to live life
it'll only be more present and less reactive and then just a lot more confident so I would be less confident less excited and less willing to get out of my comfort zone and the old scared Rich to try new things
you're a humble man so I'm glad I wish I had found it much sooner but that's okay I'm glad I maybe I wasn't ready for it came when I was ready and end at and I'm so grateful that I've been I'm doing this practice
and I was just thinking it also can benefit your children cuz it keeps them that keeps them but it takes them away from screen time you know Yeah Yeah Yeahs letting has to be okay with self and God which many adults struggle with soul in it at an early age is a blessing
I agree completely drained that reminds me that I taught it at there's a local at Penn State as a local campus near me in about 5 or 6 years ago I always able to get onto campus there was a Christian group of 18 to 22 year old so I was able to share Center in prayer with them and what I heard loud and clear from them was that they date they need silence they need space they need to turn off their phones use Facebook and social media has created to so much chaos engine and Trauma for them because some people are putting terrible things on Facebook I think they're very good but they were just realizing that oh my God I need to slow down and I got to turn my phone off and I got to get off the TV and I need to do this now more than ever when I grew up we didn't have any of those things. But now. Kids are growing off it and it didn't catch it and everything is at our fingertips and sometimes it's too much
listening and they want to connect with you how can they find you the best place is my website silence teachers.com and if they subscribe to my website to get a free ebook mr. shorty book on centering prayer that way they can learn a little bit more about it and then if they want to further explored my focus is on my website if they want to further explore centering prayer and learn more about is in and I share in the book a lot about you know how it has healed and transferred me so I share my journey in the book for those that are further interested
yes well thank you so much for being in the show it's been amazing yes we really do appreciate it. It's a reminder to me as well not just our community but I'm definitely going to slow down a little bit and try to incorporate the somebody to do a little bit of reading as well and for those of you that are listening thank you for being a part of the bringing intimacy back she'll remember to follow us on Facebook also are Instagram and apple podcast I guess we're last time you were in the top 200 for a relationship podcasts we're so glad that we can be a part of your journey and after April we have the rest next week right yes yes looking forward to that because that's an affair recovery and then we have other many other podcast coming up to help you all grow in your relationship with yourself bad
Firepower and others thank you yes thank you and this is been you guys next week

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