welcome to today's episode of from trauma to true love where we make the connection between Early Childhood trauma and the quality of our adult relationships my guest today is Jeanne Byrd she's a friend and a colleague who's an integrative nutritionist and a relationship coach with a passion for helping people transform their health and love lives Genie believes that by caring for your body you can create the foundation for deep healthy relationships she's an expert in helping individuals use the power of food movement and mindset to heal their bodies and transform their lives she has her own podcast called love sugar transforming love lives one bite at a time I highly recommend that you take a listen to that and it has a focus on the bus on the mind-body connection jeanne's work illuminates how caring for your physical and emotional well-being opens the door to deep loving connect
that we all deserved and Genie welcome welcome welcome you've experienced numerous physical challenges and heartbreak during you talk to shared a little bit about your career your celebrated career in film and you and you've completed a master's degree in Health coaching and that's helped you and your client achieve vibrant physical emotional health in preparing to meet their beloved which you have done your beloved Daniel who has come into your life what a wonderful you know you you help others calling their highest and best loving you called in yours
exactly and do the work and I was just
I miss that part look at you when you spot it you got it right alright a lot of my clients are going to be safe I'll have what she's having
I'm really interested in the Mind Body Connection and I hope that this conversation really help people to take a deeper look at how focusing on their own Mind Body Connection can have a positive impact on their relationships so I really appreciate you being here with me and I'm wondering if you could share just how your journey ledgeview to combine Integrative Nutrition with relationship coaching
right well in working in the entertainment industry in the film industry or about 33 years so it's always wonderful chance and creative and took me all over the world how ever you know in the positions will mostly anybody who works on his films that you sort of agreed to give up your life in service to the movie or to the show whatever that might be why I'm so your physical person you know really goes on the back burner I mean in my position as what we call a script supervisor I had to be there on the set when the cameras were laying every single minute and the cameras usually broke so if I ever have to go to the bathroom or something like that I just had to hold it because Cameron's real name and then finally when the camera wasn't rolling I would even have a p a r definition
follow me to the bathroom and stand outside the stall in case somebody had a question that I needed to answer so that's there so you can imagine that the adrenals were going you know the cortisol levels were peaking that stress hormone the fight-or-flight was really for 33 years are we so long about when I met Catherine in 2004 and started working with their 2005 I really was listening to the calling in my heart to you know get out of the phone and just around I was done took me another 10 years to do that than in that 10 years that's really when my body started breaking down and I've had nine surgeries to take care of autoimmune conditions bone-on-bone situations and I realize that the stress I really got
I saw that manifest in a way of you know limiting what you can do physically as well as you know I was like finding knowing that I had to get better so that I could do my second calling which is coach until I knew I had to leave so 2000-2015 was my last day on a film set ever let me check out your experience with just giving so much of yourself like sacrificing your own needs and sacrificing your own well-being for the you do for the show show must go on I'm actually
it is actually connecting me with my own experience of all the ways that I did that not being in the field you were in but just in my own relationship like I sacrificed so much of my being honest from the from this belief that I had after the abuse that happened in my life and I just gave myself away wore myself out wore my body out taking care of everybody else instead of myself and so I just find it fascinating to hear you share that about this in in in your work and I'm feeling the same thing in my own body and I'm sure that a lot of my listeners here who have had
trauma early traumatic experiences where they've abandoned their own needs their own well-being just to be loved or just to be you know I feel like they matter or to need a striving for that to feel some sense of worthiness you know
a childhood where you know I was so cherished and adored you know I wouldn't have really allowed this to be in my life I said I'm out of here there was a way that it just felt so the millier I love that and that's exactly what you said if you had a childhood where you felt
cherished and adored then right and so then the then you might not have done that to yourself right and I would recognize that this was a compromise in my life being able to like not put that on your childhood any longer ride like like this it just happened to you this happened to me happened to our clients in in their Early Childhood are early childhood and then the belief that we have to do this in order it right so we put that on all this happened to me so then I I have to show up in this other way so I think that we're probably on the same page around this with Katherine's work which here's a little side note where cuz we didn't mention this Katherine Woodward Thomas wrote the book calling in the wind and and we both Jean and I both worked with her and they're both some of her
I'm two of her certified coaches Genie actually was the you were in the first cohort we take responsibility right we have to see ourselves this is one of Catherine's core ideas here that were the source of our experience so why you weren't the store so if what happened to you when you were a kid source of your experience to believing what happened to you believing the meaning you made out of what happened to you which then the limit the love that you can
hold in your life allow in allowing and also as adults we have to make in powered me out of all of that happened that we don't recreate it as being in this is Our Fate that we live really includes being in a healthy relationship with your body
right and so so I guess I'm what I'm curious about is how you see the roll nutrition plays in healing from that the impacts of early trauma
yeah you know where there's many different of course there's food you know food is our medicine and the problem is today I could go on forever about that but you know the problem is is that we are actually being poisoned you know rather than food as medicine unless you're really being helped and guided by such as myself and doctors who really do anybody in the health industry who really does know and care about food and its impact on your health on your physical health as opposed to you know companies like Monsanto who are trying to just adictas by adding flavors to food that just become addictive and like we can't stop eating you know and then we developed you know all of the autoimmune diseases and worse ADD ADHD
sensitive to these foreign substances and then especially in your gut creating are you know all of these birds that are ingested are really giving our life force basically and how would you say those core beliefs that we that we the meanings that we give to what happened to us how I'm not sure exactly how I want to ask this question but it's different when you said it's like the food here we are poisoning a poisoning ourselves with food and what what came to me was so I poisoned myself with the belief that I don't matter like it's an it's a mind poison if you will that I am believing this
that I don't matter or that I'm not loved or that you know all of these core false beliefs that we work with and in the culling in the woods and and how how does that weighs and then interact with the poison of the choices that we make for what we're putting into our bodies
absolutely well if we're living inside that what we call her in a list also believe the false love Identity or living inside of that then it makes perfect sense that we would be eating things that confirm that that's true like a week until we're not really caring about what we eat and when I was working on the on the thumb set you know we are kind of in a hurry that's pretty convenient not realizing at the time that it was contributing to my body's breaking down in your relationship
we cannot take your time to research what is the food that is going to love you back that is going to make you feel energized excited about your contribute experience Express contribute whatever that is for you and your life if you feel like there's this fog you know just standing around you that makes you a bit complacent you know I always I use this in my chapter that I wrote I was telling you about and I use it and some of the men in the tub so it's a pretty common one but it sucks for this woman crazy is beautiful intention to call and love of her life and intention is just gorgeous and so her intention is not to go out and meet people you know and so she but she's sitting on the couch eating and Haagen-Dazs basically night after night after night
her commitment to go out and interact with people with the opposite sex to find her beloved all of those things and so she just sits on the couch tonight after 9 and so what that ice cream next or whatever it might be your wine your pizza you know is creating it is the lack of drive this lack of urgency so there is that Gap how do you close that Gap in the work that you do
well using to call in the 1 principles of course and then with with my program healthy love we inner we incorporate other modules if you will we have the transformative practice is plus we have the healthy foods while I do an intake form and we talked about their fast and and what they have been eating and then we then I encourage them to I get a microbiome test I got test nutrition will be gone and it's there but you will be amazed that there are no clue what you're doing but I'd love to hear a little bit about that cuz I I I know I've heard the word microbiome before but I'm not sure that it's in the mainstream
lexicon in the conversation and so could you explain the concept of the gut being the second brain I think you talked about that before and the significance and emotional well-being in relationships can you tell me it's actually you know it is our second brain because basically threw the vagus nerve which we have the biggest nerve begins at our brain stem and goes down through our body around the organs in the gut I know it's bi-directional so then it comes back up the front and into the brain so it's constantly sending messages so what is on the tip of your Park what you're eating then goes goes into your body as does the messaging begin between the brain and the done to determine what it do I like does that good for me
how is that altering my mood you know what is that doing to my cortisol levels and you know what is that doing tonight is that making me fight or flight or is that more of a situation which has been altering your mood so the food does contributed to affecting your mood and a healthy way or non-healthy way yeah yeah yeah course of course so how can people who has the power of there so you're saying microbiome and the gut so your stomach is it that's what we talked about. So what's going on in your stomach so how can you harness the power of your microbiome to improve physical health and relational help to how can you harness that power what what can somebody
because they let us out there I'm going to get there
you know making making Isis from fruits berries and your berries and then put them in the blender and then floor of liking to Cupcake thing you know like you do Peppa Pig and then freeze them greatness of the fruit which is so good for you watermelon and strawberries and other berries are so good for you to make healthy foods on used to just you know going to the store and buy them more healthily learn what you know obviously that's in your fridge
you know like for example you know what the American diet the sad diet would cause the standard American diet is called sad what should be very important I'm crying I asked you I just wanted to stay and the fries and you know the white flower of the of the bun there's nothing nutritious about white flour and then combined with the potato and vegetable oil that is arteries but the combination that is the worst it's the potato on the flower
combination is Kryptonite to the potential for blood sugar to be raised and diabetes to then follow that is really good for us to know and I think it's a little more detailed than then you know in terms of specifics here but it but will tell people don't eat bread and potatoes I'm still trying to get my husband to wrap his head around
well here so my question to you though is you know cuz I'm seeing this woman on the couch that you were referring to you no eating the hug and dust every night as somebody liked from me that would be depression like I'm feeling I'm already feeling depressed and not not now but I have in the pot myself sitting there feeling depressed like not having that motivation not having that you know and it and and and just then eating something that isn't good for me but not really like having any like to go do something different feeling stuck and for me this is a connection between that early wounding I'll always go back to the core false police said I don't matter so I'm not going to you know I'm not going to sit on the couch and not do what matters what would matter to my body but what would you say to this woman who
has been you know has his childhood trauma who doesn't see the things that we see today cuz we both I know you have and I know I have we worked really hard for the awareness awareness we have today around these things cost us something we had to invest time and energy we had to invest the willingness to look at ourselves and what we were doing at very deep levels right and so now we're looking at we're giving some direction to this person who doesn't have that same awareness but has the desire for healthy relationship has the desire for healthy loved ones to get up off the couch once to take better care of but doesn't really
know what's what would you want me to tell her what practical step what's the first thing you would say to this person that the bite was a b suck action that they can take I think first of all before I would work with her on the calling into one modality you know I would say do the substitute to the ice cream that I shared with you know do that first so that you first of all you're going to then alter your mood and a contemptible you're going to feel differently about that you were trying to live into the first of all change the behavior yeah. Possibly first and alter that help the person alter the false belief but in this case she's just got to stop doing what you doing so that she can have it correct
I think you're naming it really well this is something I wrote write about in my book as well as you know you can have an intention you can have it have a desire for something in your life but you you actually need to take the action you have to step outside of the familiar way of being you have to step out comfortable because you've got the way you've known it and you have to take an action outside of that and so in this situation we could say that the Constable familiar is sitting on the couch eating what you've always eating in the past and then triple action that you might not like in the beginning is to either change the ice cream that you are eating right and make it make the like one small action is just changing that and then I would add something else which would be noticed how you feel about yourself when you made this Choice like what does it
actually due to the way that you making this other choice what is it what impact does it have on your body and your mind and your heart to actually take this other action that's actually a testament to caring for yourself right right right right right caring about yourself and then allowing yourself to feel good and proud of yourself that I took a positive action in the direction of my dreams yeah yeah yeah exactly becoming proactive in creating This Love that I remember being clinically depressed and not let this has been so many years ago but really the the the feeling in my own body was
kind of like like stuck in stuck in quicksand in a way like it was really like the the movement with the sluggish movement like it was really difficult to to take any step forward and and all I wanted to do was
nothing to do with that nothing and so it you know it really does I don't know it's like to to to hold somebody accountable but in a loving way to guide them towards what there
deeper being really wants to know how do you hold people who are coming to you
with that kind of like sluggish movement forward what it what's your way you know by just being really I mean it's a little bit of tough love I've already but before I get into that I've already earned their trust yeah yeah that's why we pretty much start with the transformative stuff first the transformative practice is to get us to what is actually the truth I must have a situation like I just experiment with that lady you know who's just get that changed and you know it's it's really about getting someone
to just have the space and to trust the coach yeah that was a really have their best interest at heart and that you're going to be there to guide them you're not going anywhere you're not going to abandon them you're right there and that you hold their hand a little bit and then you'll call me in the morning tell me how you're feeling and we'll discuss it
yeah that's interesting to I mean just in terms of what you're talking about with trust because for those of us who have experienced early trauma trust is one of the things that has been violated and so you know maybe I'm coming to you and I don't have a lot of trust
and yet you're you're there I need to trust you in to get to guide me on that Journey but yet you know this lack of trust I have isn't anything about you right it's about my own experience in my own feeling like that she's going to let me down just like everyone else did
so how it how what would you suggest to somebody who has had that experience of being let down so many times and now
like I need help and I need to find somebody that can guide me and support me on this journey cuz I can't do it myself so what what should they look for
but when I would help them first of all I helped them really get clarity on their intention know what is it that they deeply desire to create in their lives you know what is that is it love or is it a is it a funeral and then I would do you know depending on how much they shared with me then I craft a vision a meditation with them that I that I say to them so that I you know like put their vision and goggles and start to get excited about that vision and then I would do everything I shared you know guys don't you know so that they feel supported so that they feel that they have
you know some of that can trust you know to guide them on the journey to be their Vision keeper really to remind them about who they really are too you know find out what are their strengths and resources and keep marrying that back to them by the way go on the parallel journeys of that stinky mouth right ride thank you how how would you say cuz I think you talk about movement to physical activity how can movement in physical activity service medicine for creating change in someone's physical emotional or mental state especially from healing from trauma
yeah what movement you know is just so self Honore in to the body to the psyche and also you know the movement just makes you feel good about your body in your body you know and just being able to test the members to see how much can I run or how much can I try to how many you no shots of pickleball can I get over there. You know that kind of thing so wear your and you're also engaging your brain and it's so good for your brain to be able to move is good to get out in the sunlight and move your body because Dad is affecting your mood that's affecting the way you feel about your life you know in 10 minutes of sun in the morning when it's not. It's just the best thing that you can do for yourself so I'll try to meditate and then do your walking You Know It Rock for 2 hours that's not very not very far
do yoga which I love the hot yoga because you are sweating you are sweating all those toxins out of your body leaving all that water on the mat you know I'm working out at the gym that resistance of the weights is just so good good for your body and it just makes you feel good that you want to get dressed afterwards or are you want to walk around with your tone body in week 5 of calling in the one with your relationship with your body and preparing you know to call in a romantic partner you want to feel good about your body right now to be able to move your body
so I move I mean I just all the time all the time I'm even sitting on a ball so I'm right now I'm working I'm working my abs as I sit here all the time it's just it's just about your body is is you're right it's to have a reverend you know I love my favorite word is reverence I just love the word we need to develop a reverence for ourselves you know kind of around the edges but how can someone I think you're going to stay movement button get Outdoors but let me let me just see if if if I'm right on this but how can someone begin to transform the toxic beliefs about their body and sexuality to embrace life is a vibrant sexual being
I think there's going to say get out there and take them to all of the feelings and the needs to really discover what goes well with those have been through you know that and what has been there by 10 today and then I'm through what's really true and I don't want to take anybody terminology here that I just want to be with you know this is Katherine Woodward Thomas's work the false love identity which a fossil of identity is the the meaning that you may you know so maybe it's I'm not loved I don't matter so these are false love identities through which when you believe that then you create more of the same in your adult life
and so when you when you kind of in the culling in the wind some of the practices and that we use inside of that with our clients Jeanne and I both certified in this in the culling in the wind program then were looking at how to how to make him power meaning that was another tournament terminology that we're using here that Catherine created and to make empowered meeting would be Tuesday what is actually true about this belief you have about yourself what's more true she would say what's more true than what you've been telling yourself basically
asking a question you have the opportunity to have them share with you what are their strengths and what are their resources where are they actually winning in life yeah I love them so you connect
they have evidence of their greatness already right right right that's such a wonderful feeling to finally get that evidence I know firsthand from that and you share a success story where integrating nutrition and relationship coaching led to a significant healing and transformation
yeah yeah I work at the client and I are taking her through conscious uncoupling with her divorce and then she contacted me like you know about six months later and she said that I need to go deeper I want to even go deeper than that and my health you know just is really bad I'm just making very bad choices so I took her through my own healthy love program that incorporates Catherine's transformative practices with with health oriented physiological and I can't all the microbiome knowledge and nutrition package for her and I took her to that and with them like I would say another six months she had finished her PhD degree
was dating and had totally transformed her relationship with her two teenage daughters and was feeding them incredibly their meals together at home I totally been transformed and that was the most excited to me but yeah I mean she was just a different person because she was living every single thing we discussed with every module she put it into practice into her life so yeah yeah I like to think that that's the worst one mind but whatever yours is I guess it's the worst one cuz you're living it
but you know what Rita to start treating myself like I matter to start either moving my body to start I started doing some of these things that you're recommending like I've been going to the gym now for like 3 or 4 months now and so I know you got some definition in your arms and then I want to eat better and I want to do that so it it it so your transformation I guess could start from one small action in the direction towards your fishing for yourself right but what advice would you give to someone just starting their Journey towards healing from childhood trauma and really wanting to build healthy relationships what you know how would you connect that to their nutrition in body and
what would you what I would do both I would work with somebody and do just what I was saying that I did with you know this other woman I would approach you know the eating at the same as the same time as their inner life what's the meaning that they've been making about themselves and that's what somebody is eating and how they feel about themselves and the possibilities that might hold or not for love because if they're just going down the same old Rabbit Hole eating the same way and yeah you know living inside of the falls where is the hope there's no way or possibility there could be just what you said right now is to track like right down with it whatever you eat then write down what it is that you're feeling how you feel after your eating what do you feel even before that,
I asked you to go get that slice of pizza or the the ice cream know how are you feeling afterwards and that could be you could have some moments of insight into making that Mind Body Connection right I mean what am I going to gain by eating ass you know what were they feeling before and after that you feel you know yeah yeah wonderful wonderful Will Genie thank you so much for joining me today and sharing your insights on the connection between physical well-being and the cultivation of healthy relationship your expertise is really provided our listeners here with valuable perspectives on healing from early trauma and embracing
vibrant authentic love before we and could you let everyone know how they mind you how they wear your podcast is and and any last words that you might want people to know what you can find my podcast love sugar on Spotify Apple podcast or I have a YouTube channel Jimmy Byrd Jr. Byrd my website is called a genie bird.com and the program I was referring to his called healthy love which is on there as well wonderful yeah yeah and I think just a party and I just think you know that in the world that we live in today you know we are spoon-fed so much
you know
if it says that are distracting us from our Essence if you will and to just develop mindfulness you know what we're doing what we're feeling and being aware of what we're feeling being aware of what we're doing so that we can create a life of substance I love that I love that thank you sweetheart thank you Jeannie for your generosity for your wisdom pleasure and to our listeners thank you for joining us on this journey of growth and healing your commitment to creating a life of love and connection is truly inspiring until next time take care of yourselves and each other