hi this is Nicole Brandon with hourglass fries and we welcome you so much the Today's Show and we wish you a happy Mother's Day to all of you out there who have children who are mother and all of you that are celebrating with your mother is enjoying this very special day I know that I took great care and great time to log into it going hope that you all have an opportunity to Follow that dream house and got the least now is a thinner for heart living, and she when you talk about heart and you talk about love you talk about weird is that place where everything is great she is a most extraordinary I'm so thrilled and this is one of those days

I had the opportunity to work with her and so many times on the Shelf you hear me say to a gas so I would love to work with them and then I will bring them back and I will tell you my experience and I can tell you first-hand that I have worked with dr. Janelle and she has literally changed my life I would not be where I'm at I would not be the person that I am but I would not have the connection to my body myself into all of you without her and her extraordinary work so today is an amazing, amazing words of wisdom for Today Show and that's nice to know and Doctor least now is the center for heart living, and when you talk about heart and you talk

love you talk about weird is that place come from where everything is birthed she's the most extraordinary I actually no kitchen now and I've had the opportunity to work with her and so many times I would love to work with them and then I will bring them back and I will use my experience and I can tell you first-hand that I have worked with dr. Janelle and she has literally changed my life I would not be where I'm at I would not be the person that I am and I would not have to connect my body my salt and to all of you without her and her extraordinary work so today is Hulu really a magical magical gift so drunk he working on finding her she provides practical Solutions with powerful techniques to life to work and relationship

he claims that they range from Executives and entrepreneurs artist Olympic athletes and celebrities at the center for heartless which is dedicated to empowering people by connecting them to their core values and we've been talking about months ago. This queer guy is coming down to do with his marriage what is a commitment what is a relationship so perfect that you need is a championship together and just the power and strength in the preseason that it takes them reeling at all of those things all things we haven't

regularly and print radio and television and she's a member of the exclusive transformational Leadership Council which is actually where we met which unites the top leaders in the field of personal and professional transformation she speaks openly about ideas and the first time I can tell you just going by the cover you know there's something special inside you have the feeling you just want to get that information and soon as you start leaving for the pages book successfully aims at we connecting you to your heart see you can experience Joy love and drink feeling the true successor exactly what we want

she has an online video program for a beautiful bride which will give the bride-to-be newly-married tips and secrets and answers to have a true success with only a love that will last a lifetime and it could still at the pictures are so funny and they're still relatable so that is a beautiful wedding day you looking for love in your relationships in your life to be filled with happiness for fillman and True Love. Now is really here to tell you that you can have all of that and it might take a little bit helps encourage from your heart but she could step you over the threshold the same way when you get married they carry you over the threshold for new life that's what she does she can you do like so if you really looking for that beauty inside and out and I just on the wedding day but for the rest of your life we are so glad you are here with us today and I'm so excited to welcome to

welcome

thank you so much the cost for this beautiful introductions and I feel really touched and blessed thank you so much do before he's had so many gifts for months and months now and people will come on and I always will say you know I would love to work with you and then we'll have you had the opportunity to work with you and I know individually I've never had a chance to thank you for the work you have done with me and the transformation that has happened in my own personal life you have made such a huge difference in my life and the reason that I can't be late to the keep like and it's really because of you and your extraordinary work so I'm here with me about your grief beautiful bride program I just wanted to tell you.

well I I I wanted to create a program that would help young women and older woman and I have been through this before some cheap clients that I my own personal life and also working with thousands of people in my career that would help them make the right choices to guarantee them the best opportunities for their wedding day but also for the rest of their relationship and then I

let's get you out audience consists of such versatility has young Brave that are just getting married for the very first time and is very excited and married three four five times better learning how to communicate and how to have a very different kind of relationship that will last and that happily ever after we have people that have been married 25 years on these calls that are looking too deep in their relationships with their mates and then we also have people who have lost a spouse or whatever and restarting over and they're learning how to open the heart again and so would you work can you help all that range of people can everybody finds you and can you help people wherever they're at Stephen to that new place in a relationship with

I'm sure everybody first you need an intense desire you need to want to live an amazing relationship that's number one and number two you need to be willing to do the work with those two ingredient that guarantee you that you can have a great relationship as human beings with if I live through three main mode it'll remind are emotions or a heart so the keys to learn to come from the heart in December I was speaking in India at the first world problem in the streets around Evans cleaning interesting experience I got to meet all kinds of tests I spoke with this woman was 33 years old and when she was 23 years old they are at the ranch for a marriage so I thought that's very interesting yeah when you get married do you use more of it than mine to use intellect to choose from their mind and you're up in North America we use our emotions office

the beauty of them in India's didn't know they're going to need to work at their relationship and too often in North America and Europe we have the fantasy that they live happily ever after and that's nothing needs to be done and it's so far from the truth so I believe 100% of our love candy pain every day that will live together every year if we decide to live consciously loving relationship but too often we expect that we're going to live happily ever after and we get so distraught when it doesn't match this idea that we created in my mind that cannot be it cannot happen that cannot be true so the keys to just get a realistic picture of what their relationship is all about and then be able to work to 1

so tell me how have you help people achieve a Life Time lasting relationship this month we've talked about it several times it's my parents 50th wedding anniversary this month and look at your love and a long-lasting Everlasting relationship and I know that people come to you for the tools and techniques

well I have two parts to the work I do once the country is farther than the other one is the unconscious part and we all need to be aware that we have developed a lot of beliefs that come from her childhood when it comes to relationships out of spruce intimate relationship that we have is with our mother on average it's Mom and can be grandma and other caregiver I could have been father as well but I'm average cost of the time with our mother and our mother was in charge of keeping a happy of keeping us fed safe nurtures playing with us and making sure that we were safe all the time and when are we are woman or a man subconsciously when we end up in a romantic relationship a part of us is looking for that is looking for that being outside of sound that's going to do all of these things that cannot happen and that is what leads us to challengers in a relationship so that's

come to know that the other thing that's very important to know every time there's a fight in a relationship every time there is a crisis and it really is because at that moment one or both partners are afraid that they will not be able to be lost the way they want to be loved and or that they are losing love those are the reason why those two big reasons why it does not work and the other one is having unrealistic expectation of what a marriage is all about

I I just finished teaching a few weeks ago I had to Center Ice call creating true love workshop and one of my students laughed and gave this testimonial because what I discover is that my happiness is my own responsibility and I was so pleased because

it encapsulated everything that I believed in for a relationship is that

consciously loving relationship is we need to choose the right partner and that is only one area of her life

so often people come to see me and if they're not happy in the career with their way to do with their lives if something is not going on with that life or it's not going well and you have a very long list of what's going on that's not right with their their mate relationship me to take the bubble away the pain away that's never work and then we start having arguments and things don't work out too well and that's when I really should get stressed out and hurts and people feel disrespected and don't let the bricks that you can build every day of a relationship that sooner or later you end up behind the wall where you can connect any more we can make this is very important and I know some of you are not going to want to hear this cuz you want to hear the princess stories but beautiful gown all the time ride into the sunset

but it's a tragedy I haven't had a young woman come to see me I saw her just before her wedding and he was so excited perfect looking guy handsome you got a great job just have to find himself a house and I didn't see her afterwards 8 months later she came back she was divorcing

because she had no home like her exactly because she had nothing ready for the reality of what it needs to be married so this is why I created the brave beautiful Brides program because I wanted to give inside inclusive that you don't get ahold of fact member I said that the reason why we fight is all the sudden get scared and will never be lost if we want to be like and we have to relax about that in relationships we have to learn to communicate we have to learn to be patient and we need to give space to a spouse

had such great but you don't remember seeing in the videos of bridal Jitters getting rid of the wedding Jitters and some of the hysterical pictures and so getting closer to the marriage and they're just so nervous about everything and why is that because they're not in the heart or because they're not communicating

thank you for saying that's exactly what happened it's so important to make the difference between our emotions and our heart for me the heart is like the sun

and our emotions is like close like today in Toronto it's a rainy day and it would be really easy to believe there is no son but if you're on the plane you can see the same thing in a relationship when you getting ready to get married and all kinds of things are coming up decisions have to be made you tired just pressure and then you start focusing introduce you to remind get scared you getting to the emotions in the emotions on the couch I can cover up your heart the Sun and don't ever mistake the clouds

SEPTA going to be there for ever that's not what's going to happen we just have to relax and realize that when I'm stressed out I'm not in my heart to breathe in through your nose to your heart and start remembering why am I getting married why did I choose this person to get married to or yes and remember all the good things that you have together and breathing and go back to gratitude she can reconnect with your heart because I guarantee you 10 years from now the fact that the flowers were willed to the door that swings it was not sitting at the right place and I'm going to remember that and that's what's important is don't like your younger brother right now listening to this

in the bride-to-be is that protect yourself in the future 10 years from now will this make any difference 10 years from now will I still remember this thing is probably not but what you will remember in your heart and you feel you your husband or wife to be an in that in that heart and you feel and the Gratitude in the commitment that's necessary to make a relationship work

that's so beautiful and you know what it is and what it means to take her to the faculty you know of all of that and I know that we talked about conscious loving and that you talked about in your book I just love him so what is a consciously loving relationship mean

well I created the definition of love that I think explains it quite well as the simplest way I could explain it love is wanting the best for our mate while respecting our needs

wanting the best friend made while respecting our needs and what that means is that we need to understand what are the goals of my mate what is it that they want to accomplish with their life and then we have to be aware of our own goals

and if you imagine each person as a circle you're a circle and your mate is another Circle imagine those two Circle intersecting so

in the middle is what the where the intersection is is you come and values together and hopefully one of the values that you have is you want to be happy together it is so very we don't get married to make each other miserable

who gets married to bring the best out of each other and when we can make a commitment to that life is a lot more fun because really live is going to have ups and downs and sometimes it's fun to be with you and sometimes it's not fun to be with you and sometimes sometimes it's fun to be with your mate and sometimes it's not fun to be with your mate and we have to realize it's going to be ups and downs all the time but if we can face up and down with the desire to make it more fun to have a great relationship then it becomes a different game you're on the team together and you see the same life challenges and The Oxen that down that happens to everybody but we're gone the goal is to help each other and become the best that they can be and that's an amazing relationship

when you talk about the circles I think about the infinity sign into circles being connected you know where the two wedding bands and it's such a beautiful image to connect the two circles

just when you can't even hide yourself together so that you are more powerful together than you would be stickers

that is a beautiful goal to aim your relationship until. I have a trick that I use with my clients to help them have conscious loving relationship is that whenever it faced a challenge

is use the you me

you and your mate is not home yet and 45 minutes late and you've made the table you're ready you got flowers the one you've been waiting and they haven't called and they arrived home late and now you are. Because why you have that moment you feel like you don't love me you don't appreciate me and you starting to feel remember her as what I said the reason why we have a fight in relationship because we feel will never be loved the way we want to be loved or we are in love to go into all these emotions and what we need to take a deep breath and going to her heart and remember and that's the other trick that I used it very important in her in a relationship since my made love me what's another reason why this is happening

so I can leave you with one trick that's very powerful whenever you face a situation as you see it yourself since my made love me what's another reason why this is happening well could be happening because they're stuck at work and they got stuck in the traffic or whatever happens if you take a deep breath and then when they arrive

he doesn't time to set you don't attack and you can talk and after everything is done you can go to do you and you can say you know honey I understand you're working hard and you doing part partly the work that you do so that we can have a good life together and I really appreciate that you're putting effort into your career so we can be secure financially and me from my point of view when I took all the time in the love I had to get ready and I didn't even get a phone call I guess I get hurt again insecure I could let maybe you don't love me as much as I do I know it could be my own thing but this is how I feel so what can we do so that you feel your needs are met and my knees are Mexico and the US part is so we can have fun and a great relationship together

because in that situation you can see it's not like I'm more important than you or you more important than me it's about both people in the relationship being important

that's such great advice can be passive which is always leads us to be aggressive

or we can be assertive and if we use the circles again if I imagine your circle you made it a circle if she puts bold circles on top of each other that means one person is giving up on who they are to be in that relationship

dipping passes sooner or later it will I guarantee you lead to the two circles being separate

it's either you're going to have a fight somebody's going to ask for a divorce or often one person will get sick and one person can die why because when you're giving up on who you are all the time for the other person you stressing yourself up and when you stress yourself up it takes a toll on your house so it's very important you do not have a choice you cannot be passive in a relationship you have to learn to be assertive assertive is respectful and that again would be the two circles and protecting each other

and when we are through this we make sure that the other person is just as important as we are we don't make yourself more important we don't make them more important to the dialog is very respectful and respect is is so important for a happy relationship

and it's such great advice not just for young Brides over for people that are trying to deepen the relationship is great advice and life and dealing with children in dealing with our friends me and that's just such a beautiful tip of how to have a loving relationship with anybody since so many of my two couples have come to see me I have used it and how their communication

because then you feel my maid really cares about me the including me in this dialogue so beautiful and it just saying you know I know that you love me you know my father when I was growing up that's how he would reprimand my father's so you know that I love you and I because I always knew that you loved me and then the kitchen was because he loved me and he didn't want me to get her he didn't whatever that was always started with that you know that I love you and here is

now the teaching here is now the love and the way that I'm going to raise you but you know it's a child into this beautiful being and that really changed my life and so now when people just attacked me and like what it would happen because it's such a great way to think about me coming to you if you don't have so much going on in my life or when two people get married and now they have an additional person now they have some of the greatest challenges that somebody will face and stepping into a marriage and then how do you overcome them what's what do you advise people if they face the challenges ahead

well as you just waited he said is going to be so many more pieces added and it is very very important that's why it's so important not to buy and they live happily ever after we we've been fed the ending which we don't need to do anything we just have to ride into the sunset because if you want to be healthy and you to eat well and exercise and sleep and decrease stress and do all these things you need to work first and have money coming in and you have to spend it wisely if you want to your house to be clean even if you're going to close down your house it was still start to break down because entropy acts on everything so why is it that relationships will be any different where we don't have to do any work for

so do you live happily ever after yes but whenever we on the principle of loving another being is wanting the best for them while respecting my needs

so if you need some self-awareness what is it that matters because I having a consciously loving relationship is great first you need to choose the right mate

so I look at life as as a big pie and there are different pieces to the pie one is a spiritual life and then one is familial Financial social physical Courier mantle which is knowledge and also our environment which is our house and our house would you look at all of these environments you have 24 hours in the day you cannot pull up all your happiness in one area of your life which is your relationship because that's the biggest challenge is going to encounter if you think your relationship can make you happy and put all your efforts and that it's not going to happen because you have so many more baskets to your life and it hoping that one being can come and take over and make you happy is not going to happen

so why because I like to use the unity and that's why the logo in my book conversation with a heart has a heart with with the yin and the Yang an inside because

what happens is that you will have equal to court and challenge to your life and guess what you use spouse is going to have support in Challenge and their life so when you get married you don't get more support than challenge you get support double this is for the also double The Challenge and then when you have kids and family members and they people we talked about before we live our lives to remind every motion to her heart to people's emotions starts to come in it's very important you remember why am I getting married why do I want children and the reason we got married the reason we have children is not so that will have more pleasure that then challenges because we want to love and love is embracing both eyes when you love someone you got to be willing to sacrifice things for them but you also need to allow yourself to receive them and to be able to use both sides Wylie

is what makes you a wife's parents the parents that try to support the only stand up weakening their children espouse that gives out who they offer their mate ends up making them and gratefulness satisfied and you and making yourself miserable which sooner or later you become angry and resentful and start having I took to spending a country estate loving relationship but the first keys to all of these things I just talked about you just remember love is wanting the best for another being while respecting my needs and it started with that guy let you know if you start with the fact your spouse love you that's why you're marrying you

and your in-laws they want to love you also and if you're not feeling she's going to insecure start with all right my in-laws want to love me and I want to love them so how can I use a you meet us in this situation always bring it back to the heart what is the goal of this situation what is it what is my ultimate desire to have a conscience be loving relationship so even though right now I feel like snapping I'm going to take a deep breath is because it's not going to help me have my ultimate goal so consciously loving is not to let everything we want to come out of my mouth come out we need to think long-term we need to think about the consequences of what we saying and what we doing or not saying not doing

I love that it's just I mean your advice is so amazing and you know why I said it for just a second to talk about you above the first time conversation with the heart I was telling you that this incredible cover and you feel in that moment that you can hand it like the key the golden chalice you know there is something different about this book there any other self-help books in any of the book of relationships two serious some chips some secrets in this book to change your life and change your relationship and it draws you in any way that you know it's so weird to have a book that speaks to your heart

and so you want I want to know how can you get this book because I think that every one of our listeners on the show should have a copy of this book and then also in the conversation with the heart book he talked about the stages a couple of those who know love you to talk about some of the stages as well for Alyssa

thank you I appreciate it cuz I rode with my I have my book

sitting in meditation in my heart making sure every word i r Road could have an impact on the heart of the reader so so thank you for saying that people can have access to my book you can get it through Amazon but the easiest ways to my website it's fastest and it's w w. Center for hard dating.com and you can have either an audio version are you going to have the the book itself and you can just order it from there you can get it from Amazon and some some of the big book stores also carried as well

it's really an Incredible Book on love and relationships and coming from the place where you always talk about that you water the roots not the tree and really how you wanted to lose yourself in order to Clarice into this amazing being of love and be loved

that's my pleasure because that's that's so important especially if you are Young Bride that you've never been married before and you don't know what's going to happen because

if I use the two circles again I can talk call Dad the infatuation. And the infatuation. Is when we think we have found the person that can take all your pain away this person that will make everything better and it works in the beginning because in the beginning we off and it's kind of a normal way of starting a relationship it's either I can India you can have an arranged marriage which is different than you'd comes from the mind but you can either go through the face of being friends and get to know each other slowly grow gradually in love that way or most people go through the infatuation face we meet we have the spark it's intense with sore tracted to each other and we are willing to give up a who we are and that moment and that's so so dangerous because what happened to sooner or later the person cannot make up for it all the other areas of your life

and now you start to feel dissatisfied

then you start to panic a little bit because all that high were feeling it's time to go away. When you start to think that maybe I made a mistake maybe know this person is not the person that should be with

and if you imagine of wavelengths you have a high and a low just like a wave would be and you have a cycle within yourself you have a high have a little you have a high I guess what you made has a high in the low or high in the low so usually when we meet together in the first week of every relationship with often both on a high and then that's a sweet thing oh my goodness I have found my soulmate this person we should I start saying something again and my sentence the smell so good didn't do nothing wrong so amazing even if they fart it smells good

can you mate isn't isn't a high so now you're made can be there and you can help each other and then reverse there and they're lowering the high and that you put pull them a lot. Where are you high and the maytals little maybe they lose that job or somebody dies of something to get sick and also you can get you get stressed out and you start thinking oh my goodness maybe I made a mistake and the most challenging part of a relationship is when both of you in a low cycle all my goodness I'm not supposed to be in this relationship this is challenging and then we go from the two circles being on top of each other to the two circles being apart

and if we are we already committed to this week and use all of this actually deepen our love to make sure we have a commitment to each other it's going to make us why is it because we can learn so much from this so that we end up with the two Circle intersecting each other so you can you do this do this consciously right from the beginning to avoid being higher than the big loss cuz I guarantee you the higher you go into infatuation to lower your going to depression afterwards when it doesn't match what you were

making this great image of your relationship to be so to have a balance perception of a relationship is what's going to allow you to go without being very big high is a very big place where you and be able to keep your relationship right in the middle and that's less threatening but if it happens to you and right now you're in a big hi I would highly recommend that you pull out a piece of paper and you start looking at which area of my life right now I have been neglecting that I should be focusing on us because if she starts to do this you giving yourself a higher chance of not experiencing the lows that come from having the big Hive I guarantee you it's quiet

love is quiet if you have been in a relationship for more than 3 years usually know what love is it's it's it's not the big highs and we feeling the beginning it's like loving a sibling your mother your father you love them and you not your mind is occupied by them all the time that's the addiction phase of a relationship

when we love it's quiet it's right there in the middle and if you're in the infatuation phase you feel it usually hire from your heart to feel it in your chest and in your throat and it's kind of the energy is kind of exciting it's kind of moves when you're in your heart it's quiet and peaceful to know that's at the infatuation. Which could be the needy phase of a relationship was always leaves to resentments to infatuation leads to resentment so if you've gone through this and use the time to get scared it's normal it's a regular part of any relationship that's when the commitment to making it work in starting to use the tools you need us remember we are there to help you tell me more of Google can be

and we commit to unfolding you high potential and helping your mate bring the best out of them and I see that often when people come to see me when the mother of a mother is just having a new baby often what happens at that moment a man goes into a money-making mode because the father has to take charge of their of the family feels responsible financially and he wants to go make money then the woman feels like oh my God my husband when I need him the most is working all the time till it's time for them not to be the baby that's who wants Mommy that's what I was talking about in a relationship in the beginning where the two circles on on top of each other where you look to you met to make you fulfilled and I find and I know I'm saying a lot right now

if a mother gives up a who she is constantly for the challenges and take the time to replenish herself then she looks for the May to take over that burden to make her feel better and then there's a lot of resentment that happened that's why it's important to be conscious in a relationship but online goals what are my mates goals how can we share common values allow each other each other to be separate but United and I Met Your Mother

you need to make sure you have time for yourself that you don't look for your mate to take all the burden away from the pressure being with a child 24/7 you need to carve time for yourself it is our responsibility to make yourself happy it is not selfish because if we don't take the time to listen to her heart and make sure that we make our dreams come true we look for somebody on the outside to make all our dreams come true and I cannot happen it's too much pressure so these are some of the things you know God this is incredible I mean what amazing amazing amazing that you want a Coke enough to the person that you want to share and more profound way and you want to be able to find a place that's in us and you don't want to take away the value of your child your own

you know your own commitment and still be able to share world and not make somebody feel bad for living your life and loving you as soon as I so I just think it's incredible what is a question for you is what is true love we always hear people talk about true love and I know that you talk

yes true love for me is

is really wanting the best for make its first knowing what does what does my mate want what are they goals in that situation and making sure that I help my mate get their dreams to come true being unconditional loving with her their high or low in helping them be the best that they can be expecting the same for us elf

and still having a made that sees who you are I have I have five tips I give to someone who's looking for a life mates have a consciousness of having relationships and you may have decided someone is emotionally available so someone who actually wants to be with you

because often I see it in a relationship in the beginning if you would not marry right now you don't have someone right now these are the things to look for someone who wants to be with you because too often we go for the person that you really want us and we try to change them into getting to the Kiwanis that doesn't work so well so we want somebody with emotionally available ncrss so this person sees your heart and goes all my goodness this is so beautiful I would love to share this for the rest of my life and you see that heart and you feel the same way so you need to First be emotional to go to each other

number two is you need to find someone who can be your best friend

if the person you choosing is a tough person and they're not nice with other person that don't care about other people the odds of that person being nicer to you after a few months are very slim so if you want someone you can be best friends with number 3 you want someone who share some similar core values because no matter how much you loved each other for example that's who you want to travel the world and I want to stay home that won't be so much fun if you want to have ten children and it don't want any if you are if you have a spiritual life and these people quit all the time after a while it gets very strenuously choose someone has similar like what's most important in your life really make sure that you have that I've learned the hard way when I got married my late husband now but when I got married I I didn't realize how important it was for me to have someone I can speak with

and my husband had a good heart he was a good man he was gorgeous I everything but my husband did not like speaking

and I realize I was trying to change him all the time in to hit someone who speak and it is not because it was with me he's always been like this all his life so that was something very very important to me to discover if you don't shut up the the right core values as the person you want to be with doesn't doesn't share those values got so often was so afraid that we're not worthy of love and we'll never be able to find someone to love us that we willing to overlook what's most important for us and that will not work because sooner or later we're going to wind up getting resentment and I resent but it's true because remember I said the reason why we get upset when we have fights and relationship is because we have the feeling that at that moment I will never be able to be loved the way I want to be loved when we are responsible for it because we need to understand what all my core values why do I want so that's number three number for

I need someone to understand that relationship needs work I do you meet us. The thing they were talking before somebody wants to put some energy and effort into making it happen because every relationship is going to have great moments magical moments and challenging moment since about the commitment to making it work that that matters that's why parents will often tell you the best thing that ever happened to know why cuz once you have a child and if you don't bring it back to the hospital and it's your child for the rest of your life unless you have to give you the child abduction that's a different story but once you have a child even when the going gets tough you keep your child and it's the same thing with our loving relationship is going to be times when it's tough and the fifth one is a good sexual connection between North America and in Europe often we go for the fifth one first and feel the sexual attraction and then we make we try to make all the other for kids

and it doesn't fit that's why it's so important to come from the heart and not from our emotions

and that's why I like to give those pissed because to actually Engage The Mind to calm down the emotions so we can listen in a heart and see whether or not we telling yourself a story cuz I find the most common mistake we make is if we've been alone for too long or we're so afraid that all my girlfriends are getting married or I'm not beautiful enough and not pretty enough as I'm overweight and whatever we find is wrong with us then we settle for the first person that comes by hoping we can change that person into what we want them to be and that does not work it is not respectful to make sure that you knew how hard the person you want to be with that you want to marry someone you loved exactly as they aren't that you don't have the need to change

that you love them just like you want to be lost if we all will all want to be loved without warts and all

we want to be loved even when we're being difficult we want to be loved when we're happy want to be loved for every one of our expression of who we are and we need to be able to give the same to our mate

this is such a beautiful listen to be emotionally available to have somebody as your best friend to share similar core values somebody that understands the relationship it's work in the US I just love the circle and the good sexual connection and so to find to work on this lawyer to have that kind of relationship did you have with you do you do private coaching as well and can people contact you and how did they find you and how do they you'll find your products and how do they get involved in the brave beautiful bride program and can you share some of that thank you yes people can I do one on one for sure people can contact my office and register for coaching with me I can do via phone in and Skype also do a person in person if people are happen to be in Toronto or

you still live in the Toronto area I also do workshops and if people want to organize one I can I was lightly show up and teach a workshop is the online Braves beautiful bride online program that allows you to if it's once a week for 12 weeks and you have six videos and total and four audios and you have a workbook that come with this and ebook there's a lot of us going there and we can have a conversation with the hearts everything is available online websites which is Center for hard lyrics.com

that's fantastic and was so excited and will also have all of you was available and able to get people to you and we've also talked about wedding gifts and if you were bridesmaid and maid of honor what a wonderful gift for your friend who's getting married to be able to gift the grave beautiful bride program so I think this is much better than this is a beautiful life if everybody else and then I also wanted to ask you also on your book the conversation with the heart you talk about many concepts for Duality and seen the perfect balance of support

Challenge and I know that when I was little my mom had said to me that you know relationships are not 50/50 and sometimes that will look like 50 50 and sometimes that will look like 60/40 and sometimes it'll look like 90 1099 Want A New Hope from what year to someone else is at 98% for you and and whatever that is that you constantly just giving from your heart authentically who you are and so is that what you talked about as far as the support in the challenge is so beautiful it's so important when you give of you for forwarding

we need to have trust and to have trust we need to feel that iron made is fully dedicated to giving themselves into to their relationship and they feel the same from you and

when I talk about the union the youngest supporting the channel that happens in a relationship is that

sexy you love your mate and you have an opportunity to do

something and you need to be away from one of my clients right now or if you just got married last July and all the sudden husband is asked to be away from into the states for four months after they got married

and to this challenge right at that moment but to be able to use this challenge to grow in wisdom and I like to give the analogy of it so it's a little bit corny but it's the perfect story is the story of the butterfly in a cocoon as a scientist is observing a butterfly coming out of cocoon and it to you struggle to the kind of feel sorry for the butterfly when he does is he cuts the Cocoon open but by doing this for butterfly didn't have anything to push again so it's wings were too weak and it could never fly and it Dying Light

in a relationship you going to have sports and challenges and if you are wise you can use both sides to grow more deeply in love with each other social support and challenge is expected at 8 I've been teaching since 1992 and I've asked albums of people to question to raise their hands if they never had challenges in their life

so far I haven't met anybody

I think as uman being as the human race we need to face the fact that we are going to face challenges and that life can become a game when we start asking yourself how can I use both the North and the challenge to grow more deeply in love because I see that all the time I had a couple come to see me and women who is like 3 weeks before childbirth and they were fighting and sitting in front of me as soon as they were like at each other and then I asked them so what is I asked her if it's so what is it that's going on right now that makes you afraid you won't be able to be loved the way you want to be loved

and then I asked him the same question and Lou and behold what's tree any magical you if you sat with me in a in a room doing their work the one on one work that I do the hair would rather the back of your head when you realize that we have attracted a roommate in our lives because we have similar stories of being Unworthy of love and at that moment our made it they pushing the button that makes us believe that we are unworthy but if we are wise we going to stop take the time out and use are made to discover where we got that illusion that we were unworthy and we're going to heal her heart then they're going to heal their heart and therefore we're going to go deeper into love so that couple that were each other's throats for to see me an hour later they were so much more deeply in love with each other so don't be afraid of challenges challenges happen to ever

funny and they have happened since you were born. The birth process itself is challenging a telling you that so I think it's time to stop the insanity and stop looking at running away from challenges towards support and what we need to do is Embrace both size to your advantage so we can grow or deeply in love with ourselves with mermaids and green wisdom and have gratitude and be a beacon of light in the world that way

such incredible advice and then I was just going to ask you for a pearl of wisdom for the couples and I really think it's actually being able to accept challenges overcome challenges see those challenges like you're trying to the caterpillar that becomes a butterfly something to push against the spread our wings to go deeper to become more beautiful as it expands and as we share them with other people that we love being married married for many years are looking for that love again or even learning to love yourself

I think that's just such a jam thank you work that I do intend to subcontract work at I do I get goosebumps and I see on the vemon the presence of something truly magical which is I find that a marriage is it takes courage Union when use wisely can read involves us increase our wisdom Myra spiritual life and reprocessing all this can be magnified one of the trick that I have and I can give you one last trick it's full question

the first question is when you having a challenge with your spouse is your right down what their problem is and you don't be enlightened you go for the gospel

is the second is what's the solution to their problems

and then the third one reaches the caches where do you have the same challenge

and for how can you use the solution

and I guarantee you I have done this so often with the couple's it transform a couple from being at each other to being grateful for each other I used to call this guy called this extreme Freedom processed I used to confidase of the universe universe and all of our listeners I so appreciate that can be freaking out for being on the show today and you can find her at Center for heart living. Calm and truly I think that you're programmed your coaching your wisdom or such a grand gift for women everywhere for couples everywhere for anybody who is stepping into their own part and including

I know thank you so much for joining us on this beautiful Mother's Day

thank you very much pickle for having me you are beautiful yourself

thank you for joining us and we look forward to having everybody

is going to thank everybody for joining us today

want to give a shout out to my own mother and just wanted to wish you a very happy Mother's Day today and tell her how much I love her mother with your children and maybe see if they could in a blessed day for all of you and I look forward to you joining us next week we will have a relationship with me because Shelly left kill one of my favorite people on the planet talking about step-parenting and the parents and then Melissa and Hannah will be wonderful shows coming out we look forward to finding us an hourglass bride thank you so much for being with us today and it's beautiful Mother's Day and again thank you.

at least now I guess that if it's incredible ISM imparted to us what is special gifts