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Hourglass Bride
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with Nicole Brandon and guest Shelley Lefkoe

Hourglass Bride with Nicole Brandon and guest Shelly Lefkoe

Title: Shelley Lefkoe - Step Parenting

Tags: Listen, Patience, Importance, Kindness, Time, Fun, Family, Combined Family, Children, Teens, Child Therapy, Family, Family Relationships, Parenting, Parents, Mom, Step Mom, Dad, Step Dad, Brothers, Sisters, Brothers and Sisters, New Family, Unity, Oneness, Play, Playful, Laughter, Joy, Love, Beliefs

Unlimited Life

Unlimited Life – New Science, Ground-Breaking Information, Ultimate Health, Secrets, Tools and Technology for Leading and for Living an Unlimited Life.

Hour-Glass Bride – The World’s Number One Show for Relationships, Intimacy, Communication, Connection, Sexuality, Marriage, Happiness, Bliss, Passion, Sensuality and Living the Happily Ever After.

Nicole is revered Internationally and one of the World’s 100 Most Influential People. In 2019, 2020 and 2021 she was on the top list 10 of the Most Fascinating People in the Nation.

From stage to screen, from books to broadcasts Nicole shares her dynamic gifts and talents for having it all.

Nicole is known across the globe as “The Ambassador of Kindness”. Knighted for her humanitarian service Nicole has been a Peace Ambassador in 59 countries. Nicole is also a World Peace Flame Carrier and a proud Member of the Transformational Leadership Council and the Association of Transformational Leaders in Europe. She has been a Keynote Speaker on almost every forum from Fortune 500 Companies, The Olympics, the World Cup, Charity Events and even to Doctors and Medical Organizations on What is a Miracle.

An undefeated champion with 220 wins out of 220 competitions Nicole holds National and International titles in Dance and Acrobatics. Nicole has been inducted into the Martial Arts Hall of Fame and into the Elite Black Belt Hall of Fame. She is a 7 Time Hall of Fame Inductee.

Nicole is a New York Times Best Selling author (having penned 32 books). Her talent on the air find her Hosting 6 Internationally acclaimed programs (Passionate Living, Unlimited Life, Hourglass Bride, Parenting Today, The Green Room, and The Secrets to a Dream Life) 

Nicole is the Television Host of (Happily Ever After, Keeping Score, Mental Prison and DreamLife)

Her videos, books and broadcasts can be found worldwide. 

Nicole coined the phrase “Artistry in Motion” which of course, is the way she lives.

Main website:
https://nicolebrandon.com/

Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/nicolebrandonworldwide/

Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/nicolebrandonunlimitedlife/

YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCEuLyaoWuTiXfdKf4K8bkAg

DreamLife Secrets:
https://anchor.fm/dreamlifesecrets

Ambassador of Kindness:
https://www.ambassadorofkindness.net/

Nicole Secrets:
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1-8mjwCuVTFoFtCU3FnjsOR5NOnlxy4Ir?usp=sharing

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Weekly Show
BBS Station 1
Wednesday
Starts
10:00 pm CT
Ends
10:55 pm CT
Show Transcript (automatic text 90% accurate)

hi this is Nicole Brandon and welcome to hourglass Drive we're so excited to have you with us today and we had such an extraordinary guest on her show today I am absolutely thrilled about today show we are at cuz I'm very special guests in her name is Shelly left and I'm really honored and privileged and gifted to have her do that so many people that have been on this show that has tools and techniques to help the bride to help the husband to help the family to help the relationship and now we're going to be talking about how to help a child and not just a child but the woman herself and how to change this and if Shelly works with a system that can erase beliefs change your belief system in deep in your relationships and I've had the privilege and the honor of working with Shelly and I can tell you firsthand she's incredible she's mad she has changed my life
I know that she can help you I know that she can give you the tour of the techniques and everything that you need to have a happy and healthy relationship with your specially with your children I just left that the possibilities of parenting Center and all that out the world and she doesn't using the left this is a revolutionary approach over 12,000 people to stop motions and Behavior book patterns
how to have healthy relationships what you could have talked to you today but I have this healthy relationships with your children and how to make that work across the board she is just one of the smartest Thaddeus most intuitive so honored to have her today she the keynote speaker all around the world and the fact that she is taking time out of her schedule to work with us is just really such an honor in such a blessing so we want to talk today also about her course in her classes she has something that she called parenting the last away and she'll talk about how much
she's been working with this process and how she's worked with her own children and her own family and I know that even in a deeper way than anybody I've ever met on the planet and we talked about before that this coming weekend is my parents fiftieth wedding anniversary relationship and been able to get in bed that and children and other loving families around the world so I just want to take a moment and deep breath and departures and Steve joy and Elation to welcome to Shelly last night thank you so much and you don't answer this thing. Studio audience this is a privilege and a blessing for me because so many times people come onto our show and they say this is what to do in this particular than you were this particular thing
offer advice and they may be the most experience that and I can honestly say to her studio audience that you shall lead us to have changed my life you all that you know all that your gifts is immense and immeasurable and there is truly there's not a single person on this call right now to just call it now they could not use you and your service is whether it's something in themselves or keeping the relationship so wonderful to have you here as our guests so we'll pick you and I I want to congratulate your parents on their 50th and tell you that my parents just celebrated their 73rd
my mother has done a lot of all work and there's a little tool I will give you before the show is over that can transform the quality of your life beyond anything that anybody has ever given you and my husband teaches it in a course that he does and teaches you how to use it over time daily so that it becomes automatic you and my mother took the course and she my father called me and he said what did you do with my wife
yeah and the chips is a great relationship since this is a wedding show and there is not 30 so actually you have 32 Sunday and there was this day where he does not tell me how much he loves me how much I mean to him and he doesn't demonstrate it in some way that he is around me and I can tell you that the secret to a happy marriage is two things number one before you get married so this is the perfect body and look at the qualities that you want in a person and know that if the person that hopefully you will both grow and change and
when I say change I mean grow really not changed but that you'll grow as you go through your life and we are all beautiful flowers constantly growing having said that if you look at your the person that you're thinking of spending the rest of your life with and say if this person never changed a thing about him or herself would I be happy married to them so the first thing is don't marry somebody that you think is going to change that you're going to change if that doesn't work so acceptance is huge in a relationship but what's even more important is the commitment to the relationship
and the only way you could commit to a relationship and say promise when you say those words I promise I'm not leaving this is it when things get Rocky when things get tough when things get uncomfortable and I promise they will you won't have one foot out the door having that conversation to conversation will be how can we get through this in a way where we both can have what we want in life
that's much better question than should I leave should I leave should I leave should my life but if you're going to commit to the relationship you have to be with somebody so when I looked at I was 31 years old when I got married and I said I want somebody who has Integrity so I want somebody who when I know when they say something to me I don't walk away wondering if it was the truth my husband has the kind of Integrity that I didn't even think existed on the planet so he wouldn't keep the IRS if he knew he could get away with it that's just who he is I wanted somebody who wanted to make a difference in the world whether it was walking into the dry cleaner and saying hi and being kind to that person or somebody who was
taking on bigger ways in which to make a difference so it's not that you will have to be altruistic and everybody has to change the world but you came to the world just being with people and just being a force of kindness love and compassion in the world so so that was important to me that doesn't have to be important to you I wanted affection I knew where that affection I would wither and die so I must have that so I needed somebody who was very comfortable showing affection kissing hugging holding hands if you look at the qualities to tell the truth not what you think should be important to you money is important to you then you better marry somebody who makes money or you'll spend the rest of your life making them long
tell the truth what are the qualities that you want in a person make a list then look at that list and say what are the deal breakers
what is a one without which I'm not interested
and then look at that person and say should we get married and if you do get married then make that commitment Forever and Always and there is nothing more powerful to hold a relationship together in the final thing is don't let it get old and stale
by taking it for granted
Salinas
get up every morning look at each other and remember what you love about that person focused on instead of he left his underwear on the floor why did I marry him what was it about him or his sense of humor kindness all the way in which he always brings me coffee in the morning how's the light bill he is the way he is when he looks at his children
oh that's what I did in that moment you will in that moment experience your love for that person and you will live you a day from that experience as opposed to some concept of oh yeah I want to love this person
thank you so much. These are Special K with you the keys to have absolutely addictive to your children but I'm going to tell you it's for your spouse
validate feelings
so what I mean by that is it somebody turned around your husband or your wife or your kid turn tranches I thought I hate you
to say wow you really sound angry right now
did answer that anything you want you can say I don't like being spoken to that way I wish you could have expressed that in a different way I'm sorry anything you want I don't care but the most important thing is to validate their feelings because people feel how you feel and until you validate their feelings they can't hear you to be a listening is closed so she said he was a kid
you do not hate me don't you dare talk to me that way through it resistance causes persistent so they'll say say that louder than Satan himself I do hate you I hate you I hate you but if you say to a kid wow you must be so angry right now to feel like you hate me
wow
you look at them and never done this many times and my daughter actually stop saying it because I was looking her and say and I say that to her and she goes I don't hate you Mommy I'm just mad and I say wow you really mad right now and she takes long not mad Mommy I just wish you would let me do it and the more I got it the more I got it the more the feeling went away
most powerful tool in a marriage
I've been headed home instead of getting defensive you just say oh honey you weren't you you had a long day you're hungry and you wish you would have walked right in and seeing dinner on the table I got it
anyting else nothing just that and they'll look and go right today and I'm so excited to get into that but I have to tell you the alliance when they didn't think I was right there at a parent you know how to love and it's still admire that and I know that not only do you do with your own children but you taught people how to do this all around the world working with police to working with kids to Translating that and you know it
so how I did that was for the first few years that I was helping people eliminate believe people would come to me and say I'm in pain either I can't communicate I can't stand up for myself I'm depressed I can't make my relationships work I procrastinate whatever their suffering was minimal suffering or eating disorder depression suffering
underlying those problems were always listen to me always negative good enough I'm not important I'm not capable mistakes and failures are bad and to those of you listening who is saying all I don't have those you do so these beliefs are we don't even know that we have them sometimes but when things don't work out for you like people who have read a lot of books and they say oh I know making mistakes and failing is really important and I say oh and you think it's a good thing and they say oh yeah I say and they say I teach that and I say also when you failed you say you go Nicole great learning opportunity
and we will go well
no and I say really you mean you beat yourself up and they say yes and I say and then they get it and they go oh yeah so you could know these beliefs are not true in your head but you still believe them so I started working with these beliefs life is hard I'll never get what I want
I don't matter
day after day week after week country after country because many years later when I started working on the internet now I have clients in Uganda Pakistan I mean Saudi Arabia it is mind-boggling where my clients live now and so everybody has the same underlying these problems and they always came from the same place
she came from the only interactions we had with our parents when we were little
so I said wait a minute if all this suffering of all these beliefs that we saw all these problems come from interactions with parents I have to alert the press and I became obsessed
and I'm very clear
a very clear of that very few things in life but I am very clear that his parents were cognizant of what their children will concluding when they walked away and became committed to training themselves to have the skills and tools to know what to say and not to say I bet my life world would change
one of the questions I have for you is that we have a lot of listeners and so they are especially in today's you know a lot of times we're taking on the step counting roll and let somebody that has a child or very often now unfortunately we don't come back or a single parent to eat in yourself is that not translate whatever it's your child or child that you're taking on you don't have to be connected with for Life totally it does and it's a whole nother ball of wax so so the basic principle
is when you're dealing with children I don't care if your teacher I don't care if your step parent I don't give you a single mother when your child or the child in your home is walking away from you just think about that kid walking away thing I'm a winner I just made a mistake and I learn something or I'm stupid I'm a loser I'm a failure so every time we criticize kids they walk away saying I'm not good enough I'm not going to be most common belief that everyone has because as children we are constantly criticize what there is an eye roll or a glass or a you know somebody belittling and demeaning you get lots of it in our tree in our closet so that's number one number two let's talk to the people who are going to be step parents first
so you know the cold could probably teach a lot of you had to walk a tightrope everybody on this amazing amazing amazing it is a tightrope because you're not their mother
I just don't know how many men are listening to this call but you are not your father and yes depending on the age of the child you are going to be a fourth of an influence possibly a guide and protector possibly an adopted parents so you're going to have a role in this child's life and everybody is going to handle this differently so that if the child has a mother you're not replacing that child's mother and you need to have a relationship with this trial now here's the secret that I think is a great gift for a molecule to have
I told my children do not respect me because I am your mother I want you to treat me with dignity and respect because that is how I will treat you
that's how you treat people
so the fact that you are or are not their mother is at is less relevant when you going to have a relationship of dignity and respect so if you see a child doing something that you know is going to hurt them you can say to them depending on the relationship if your stepmother and you really are stepping into that role you don't have to say this but if it's an older kids where they have a mother they have a father you just coming in you might say to them I see you headed toward the wall
I am older I have some wisdom here I see that you're going to get hurt can we talk about this
I think I can help you
so you're asking permission to support this child because whether you're a parent or a step parents I would like to see the days of because I said so and anyway
so even if you are the mother you shouldn't be saying to your kid you're going to do it because I said so that's why and that gives you the right because you're their mother rather than their stepmother so we went to change the whole way the whole Paradigm of parenting by actually tweeting these children as if you are their guardian angels
so they look at you and they say I don't know what to call this person who just moved in but man she is awesome
she only has my best interest at heart
then you can negotiate with this child you can you can create a relationship that's powerful and you're an advocate not an intruder
that makes sense it makes perfect sense it's amazing when you say that because my brother is a single that has stepped in to help him and my mother as a grandmother is do all of the mother
so she doesn't get to be the fun grandmother died and giving his eyes but still not the mom
given given somebody's age of so one of the things that my husband and I are very committed to at some point writing a book about is developmental age-appropriate developmental stages and there's a lot of material out there about what a parent can expect at any given developmental age of a child a lot of negative beliefs is unrealistic expectations
so I give you a quick example morning I go out for breakfast every Sunday morning and was sitting in this restaurant and they are crayons and coloring books in the corner so there's Dad all of my blood post come from and you put your crayons on the table in the four-year-old I'm sorry the three-year-old crabs to the crayon basket and the other father look at the four year old and it was very very very hard for me to not turn around and say to the Father which I sometimes do
did you really expect the child to say little brother it looks like we both want the Crayons why don't we put them in the middle of the table and chair
is there a Child live to talk like that you can say to kids when they run around restaurant what's wrong with you
as opposed to I need I know you're five years old that you're full of energy and it's so hard to sit still but you can't run around the restaurant sweetie cuz it disturbs people let's play a game at the table
show me my 80d parents and chords I give him restaurant games things to do with your kids to keep them occupied because guess what they found
so our expectations for children or just ridiculous
you can bring me to kid who on his way to his room to play with his Lego blocks of thinking she I better make sure there are no toys on the floor so nobody trips
so one of the things I always tell parents is watch your expectations of children and instead of making the wrong for not doing being we're having whatever you want them to be do or have asked questions instead of giving advice ask questions
what Mike did my favorite question on the face of the Earth do you got nothing else for me
take this
my life was one as I'm sure many of you listening to me we'll agree with what other people think of me
I wasn't invited to the party I wonder what to wear when are they wearing I look at Nicole Brandon who walks into a room and some sexy jumpsuit with his body that would knock you over a tooth okay with everybody else is wearing and she's totally self-expressive and she's totally gorgeous oh I didn't know we were dressing up for us to the Chino this is not know they just called and my girlfriend has the same way she came to my barbecue in the west and high heels she said I feel like getting dressed
I could never do that before
because I worried about what would people think so I got rid of those beliefs and now my life is very very very different use how you have your kids grow up differently I taught my kids no matter what you do somebody's not going to like it
so you may as well do what you want
k
now here's the question
stop
for one seconds before you're about to do something and ask yourself this question what might the consequences be of my actions
and do I want to live with those consequences
if I hit a kid what might the contact number will people think what might the consequences be child might not play with me anymore I might get a reputation as a scary kid nobody likes me anymore he may hit me back in that might hurt so with little kids you teach them what consequences might big and so they grow up learning how to do this now everybody has a child that will end up in high school
Wilmington Middle School
when they get there do you want them asking when somebody says to them let's have unprotected sex let's cut school today let's do drugs let's get in the car even though the designated driver had a drink that's happened to my daughter
do you want them asking themselves what will people think if I don't
well what will the consequences day to create questions
you will never know what most people think of you
are you really get on my nerves the most point everybody has a smile and says you know if they like you and when you speak in public all the things that people are afraid of you may get feedback
notice the feedback I would say to people when you were a kid did you a mother father worried about what date will the neighbors think and they will go oh yeah of course
and the ones who say oh no my parents didn't care I said yes he came home and said can I dye my hair pink what would they have said yeah I got it so so everybody Spears cared about what people would think and then I asked all of my clients all the time did what people thought of you when you were little principal do you know what the neighbors thought
no
no no
it's cool cool
that's amazing to think about I mean it truly is when we go back in time and I've had the opportunity to work with you and no I didn't really seem you know what serves you and it's just it's amazing amazing process because certain we have people that aren't you listening to the show right now that I don't have children yet but they're planning on having the family and if you talk about the different stages for a great way to start off correctly
yes that's one of the reasons Nicole that I was so excited to do the show because my my H CDs I wish that anybody could listen to when it pregnant or before they have a baby because not only will you learn how to talk to your kids but you learn how to talk to your spouse ahead talk to your boss you'll learn why you get
upset when people say things to you there's something we called nipping negative beliefs in the bud when we use it for children but it's the process that I talked a little bit about at the beginning of the show my alluded to and it's where we give meaning so the premise of our work is that events things happen and they just happen and we give meaning to what happens my boss just yelled at me so let's put you to wedding example so you're betting this gorgeous wedding and something goes wrong
you know Doug or you know something happens and the meaning we get it that kids get us upset if it's going to ruin my wedding
and I promise you that
nothing unless you groom doesn't show your wedding you're going to stand there and Mary in front of all the people that you love the person that you've chosen to spend the rest of your life with do you really think if the caterer didn't show up anybody would starve to death
nobody's coming to the meal and for 20 minutes in the car going home they might talk about how bad the food was after that no one cares
so so it is the meaning that we give the advance that cause all of our pain and suffering
and there isn't an event
including getting married that has inherent
meaning
so what do I mean by that yes so if somebody gets married to somebody comes to you and says I'm getting married does that means they're going to live happily ever after does it mean they're going to have kids
does it mean they're even in love
getting married does not mean you'll stay married it doesn't mean you're going to have a good marriage were bad marriage so so so meaning is always in your head
so it's select assumed everybody do this with me close your eyes
I'd imagine you come home can you walk in the house and your
fiance your spouse doesn't kiss you hello
what would you order matically sink
so Nicole give me something that they don't love me they don't love me now some people say they must have had a bad day or
okay don't love me anymore where did all those meanings that everybody came up with come from
what do you think so somebody walks in the room that you know and doesn't talk to you what do you think and then you make something up
my kids just talk back to me what meaning what do you think they don't respect me that's all in your mind
before you give the event meaning
they don't have any
I don't know how many do you know Ted's to Ted Talk my husband just got a tedx talks and this is what he's going to do the whole talk on
event don't have meaning
they have consequences so if you lean out of window the consequences you will probably fall out but it doesn't mean you're going to die it doesn't mean you're stupid it doesn't mean that windows are dangerous
absolutely huge subject subject private sessions can you Skype
couples to today it's parenting zelesko l e f as in Frank koe way.com
parenting the lefkoe way.com and the reason I brought up this whole thing about meaning is because if you could if you could anytime when you get married somebody has children are you're a single parent and you just going to God they don't have a dad everybody else has that means this kid is going to grow up I can't keep you from taking effective action like who do I know that could be like a surrogate father for my kid
how can I get my kid a male role model what are some ideas of ways to do that how can I find that out what information is out there how can I go pick people's braids when you're not in an emotional state
you can be way more effective in taking steps to rectify whatever it is that you're upset about when you were in the upset you were in the up yet so if you say it doesn't mean anything that my husband's son just stormed out of the room away from me and has no meaning it doesn't mean he doesn't like me doesn't mean you know what he's whatever happened he just has no meaning and how am I going to handle it well I can go to the kid and say listen you seem really really upset I don't know if I said or did anything if I did please feel free to tell me and if there's any way that I can help let me know I don't want to crowd your space I don't want to step on that wanted to please let me know I'm in your corner
okay so that's amazing video Let's assume I have two kids right I have a child egg will call him Charlie and Charlie has the believe I'm not good enough I'm not important so look at your iPhone while your kids are talking to you and they will have to believe I'm not important
criticize them don't have to believe I'm not good enough so we have Charlie who had to believe so I'm not good enough I'm not important mistakes and failures are bad and if I make a mistake or fail I'll be rejected
and what makes me good enough is having other people think well of me now I have teeth my other child and Steve has to believe I am good enough and I'm important and mistakes and failures are learning opportunities and my worth and value is not a function of what others
I want you to bet me money which one of these kids and I'm only talking about the five beliefs we got hundreds which one which one of these kids
is it going to be more successful in life
I mean next to clear show it so why don't people do that naturally so your job is to facilitate your children's to create positive beliefs about themselves and life
I'm going to answer your question in the technical your job is to facilitate your children to create positive beliefs about themselves and life.
Obviously to keep them safe when your little
hey yeah there's a lot I can tell you so I'm not going to go into this but on my parenting CDs I talk about why we all grow up afraid to not live up to people's expectations when not living up to expectations actually doesn't cause ear so give you I will give you the most simple cope found tools and I would do it now I don't get you. I told you say if I would send this to the money I wouldn't have gone into the parenting business I would be telling you how to be successful. I mean to creating change and four children and somebody's life than you do and not only people. I would love to I would say the phone if I could
listen to it at the gym listen to it in the car but here's the answer to your question why don't people do it naturally this is where the belief stuff comes in number 1 Train when you walk out of the hospital nobody gives you an annual when you say I'm marrying somebody who has kids what do I do for you isn't or wasn't Emmanuel and the idea listen to me the idea that your job is to to be responsible for the emotional physical spiritual intellectual development of a human being
you don't need training for that is insane you need training to drive a truck
so that's number one it ain't natural you know somebody wrote a book once loving your child is not enough it's not
it's not you need to be trained this is this is Samurai work this is sacred work this is this is the greatest work you will ever do in your lifetime
help a human being grow into a self-expressive joyful fully passionate Fearless how many people do you know like that
my kids don't like that and I'm not perfect and they're not perfect and I'm not saying they didn't have sessions in this stuff but with the most part they are fearless
Fearless
they went to a an alternative school where they when do grades no tests and you know people used to say but what's going to happen to them when they get to the real world to be motivated and I had to be internally motivated
it's a very different I have one kid who by the way Nicole is pregnant she has lived in Hawaii for 13 years she's a surfer and a skydiver she's been all over the world and she has been supporting herself and she's 18 and took her 10 years to graduate college but she did she did it her way very motivated to live her life my younger daughter went to when top universities the top 10 universities in the country
graduated scholar-athlete of the year and is a half Ironman very different kids on the big island for 6 years
the other one has a lot of shoes to Hawaii and left all her shoes in my garage dated to live their lives
that's one of the things I was going to ask you is to the police that you for my childhood a child later in life so every child is changeable you know my husband says the good news based on what you do and say everyday the good news is so I don't want anybody listening can't go my God I screwed up my kids as I said my kids are not perfect and you know had issues and stuff in their lives and I wasn't a perfect parent and even though I had information but we were very different it has been most people we were and my kids are very very wise and joyful and when you would when you look at what you want for your kids but it is your step kids
what your kids are Yours Mine and Ours we all want our children to grow up to be joyful and stuff expressive and contributing member of society
you know I look at Nicole and she's such a role model because she's done a lot of different things in her life and she's one of those people who says you know I don't want to do that anymore I'm done I've done it and mastered it she just totally reinvent yourself
but anyways with purpose and pageants
always I want to make a difference how am I going to do that while I can do it this way I could do it that way you know put the ability to reinvent yourself doesn't come from sitting in going on this issue that your dad what's this I'm going to think or what's that one what if I fail what if I don't make it what if it's not successful
so what it's not successful
and that's the thing we have to be careful with our kids because it's natural with natural with natural is to stay to your kids will if you could get all A's in this subject how come you can't get it in that subject
as opposed to
wow that's a that's a report card that really speaks to the fact that you seem to be doing well in school are you are you telling me you got a little late so you can lend you know are you are you happy at school are you learning how to critically think or you just ingesting information and the idea that we should get a raise I asked Mike my everyday do you would sell it everything you do
and it is funny almost always think they know I had a client on Wednesday and she said to me I swear he said to me will I do excel at everything I do he says but I don't do anything I don't excel at
oh I know that feeling yes that's the truth
it's silly
can I see you to jump through hoops you know
not so chill and you can tonight and I think it back to say that they're not circus puppies but their children that needs to grow and to learn and and I think you're getting our listeners was just it's so sad how you doing and we only have a couple minutes late so I just want to ask you you know what are some of the principal thing is get trained get trained so where do you buy my CDs or somebody else's but the guiding principle is when you learn anything about parenting from anybody ask yourself the question so dr. Ferber says let your kid cry themselves to sleep so you should stop and ask yourself the question voice in your head on Auntie Shirley's place what will your child conclude
if you let them cry themselves to sleep
how important will they feel they have one way of communicating and it's not working
I don't think that what they're going to conclude is what I need my needs are important I'm important I matter babies don't manipulate you that's just ridiculous but if you let them cry themselves to sleep they will learn to go to sleep they will also learn that they're not important so so here's my three questions to my three words at what cost will I do with these parenting experts tell me to do
yes what they say works in the short-term but in the long-term what they're going to do to my kid somebody tells me to hit my kids like dr. Dobson really hit him what is it going to come well I guess they'll conclude that violence is the way to handle things and then you wonder why they grow up and they hit
another insane thing they will also learn that they are powerless and that you have total power over them and then when they're teenagers you want to know why are they so jealous
oh yeah because when they would three I hit them and if you think I'm kidding this is what I listen to all day long
so to the first principle is when your child walks away from you what is a concluding and you know some of it will be intuitive you will just too scary logical if you ignore a kid they going to conclude I'm not important if you say because I said so they're going to feel powerless so when people used to walk out of my one day works out they since they were like know what not to say but I don't know what to say and that's why I created the course to teach you what to say and every given situation so that your children will not create negative beliefs and then at what cost must I have it my way at what cost to that child
I know it's a really my fundamental principles get trained and remember those two principles
that's great and then Shelly how do people find you again how did it get your course I just want one more time for you to Sharon the Lesco way
l e f as in Frank k o e parenting the lefkoe way
if you want to email me it's just that you don't just do it through there and they'll send it to me and I will answer you
text to self with your family or even with yourself changes and the doors that you open in somebody's heart in themselves in the freedom that you give people to grow without being put in a box for hitting walls are getting stuck High since it's amazing and the fact that you dedicate your life and your heart and your time to helping people all over the world to create these changes and then to have these better liar thank you and I thank everybody who listen to me because now cuz you listen to me but because I really believe
I will and I cry I cry when I say it every time
if we raise our children with dignity and respect if we treat them with dignity and respect they will learn to treat others with dignity and respect and the world will work you treat somebody with dignity and respect no matter what their religious beliefs are their political views are you may not agree with them you may not be happy to have them but you respect their beliefs and it doesn't mean you have to allow a I told my daughter is expecting somebody doesn't mean they get to hit you you know how I said to them you know you can be angry you can shout the very angry but it's not okay to hit and it's not okay to to call me names you know another thing is I messages when you say to your kids I don't like it when you I wish you wouldn't I feel
hurt when you I get upset when I so your owning it you're teaching your kids not to be victims did not get them they don't make me want you back on the shelf and you know all of her listeners Suites is such a grand gift to have you and your knowledge in your wealth of information and everybody should be finding you working with you really finding his children keys to open the door not just with their children but with their own lives and thank you again
what is wonderful guests to what incredible information and so I can't wait to have Shelly back on thank you for being with us and he's going to teach you how to tell you that Melissa help me sell one of my properties and we were at a television show and she's incredible she's funny if you have a dream and a vision in your mind she can help you find that property get into that property she really is a Dream Weaver coming with us and then the following week we have the goddess who is coming on and teaching us veteran be such an extraordinary show and then fengshui and and everything
they wait time sweet show look for Michelle is coming of the future and today show is so wonderful thank you for a wonderful week thank you so much