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Crazy Sexy Midlife Love, December 23, 2020

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Crazy Sexy Midlife Love
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What Makes a GOOD Man? Part Deux

Crazy Sexy Midlife Love with Morgana Rae and Devin Galaudet

Episode Title: “What Makes a GOOD Man?” Part Deux

It’s said the deepest pain question men grapple with is "What kind of man am I?" We would love to hear YOUR ideas (from men and women) on what makes a GOOD MAN.

Devin and Morgana will be discussing that tonight on Crazy Sexy Midlife Love Radio, at 5pm pacific time. You can CALL IN and tell us directly what you think at 888-627-6008 any time during the live broadcast.

Cause this could be a very interesting conversation that might even grow a little more understanding and empathy for men... 

And we'll talk about Winter Solstice Magic-Making, too...

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***** Every year in December Devin and Morgana complete the old year and create the new year with a New Year Manifesting Formula from Morgana's international best selling book “Financial Alchemy: Twelve Months of Magic & Manifestation” (which normally sells for $40)

Now YOU can download the manifestation formula for $0.

==> https://www.morganarae.com/new-year-manifestation-gift/

It cleanses any unwanted energy from the past year and sets you up fresh for the next year.

The results from this simple, quick exercise typically show up in these areas:

- wealth
- love
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We want you to end 2020 and begin 2021 with the gifts of where you've been--no matter what--and feeling excited about what's coming in 2021!

==> https://www.morganarae.com/new-year-manifestation-gift/

 

 

Crazy Sexy Midlife Love

Show Host

My husband and I are 25 weddings deep into getting married 100 times in 100 countries. 100% his idea. And honestly, when we hit 100 we’ll probably keep going, cause we’ve been in honeymoon mode for 5 years now. (He’s a smart man.) We met at 45. Started getting married at 47… back in 2014.

My philosophy is love gets better and more fun at midlife, especially for women. We’re smarter. Men are more relationship ready. (And if they’re not, it’s so obvious! Next!) I want to punch holes in all that negative, fear-feeding nonsense I grew up hearing about age and love for women.

Getting Married around the World

The reason for this is simple. Love and travel are two of our favorite things. By combining the two we unite the best of our worlds. Yes, at least, 100 weddings!

100 Weddings, So Far

Yes, we are aware that we are just getting started. 

1. Los Angeles, CA USA — May 23, 2014

2. Puerto Vallarta, Mexico — June 5, 2014

3. Dubrovnik, Croatia — September 14, 2014

4. Kotor, Montenegro — September 15, 2014

5. Mostar, Bosnia and Herzegovina — September 18, 2014

6. The mountains above Sarajevo, Republic of Srpska — September 22, 2014

7. Belgrade, Serbia — September 26, 2014

8. Belgrade, Serbia — September 26, 2014

9. Bled, Slovenia — September 29, 2014

10. San Marino, San Marino — October 4, 2014

11. Rome, Italy — October 5, 2014

12. Vatican City — October 5, 2014

13. Gesi, Turkey — February 12, 2015

14. Norwalk, CA — May 27, 2015

15. Villa Del Palmar, Loreto, Mexico — June 17, 2015

16. Wizards Academy, Austin, TX — October 6, 2015

17. Sri Rahti, Penestanan, Bali, Indonesia — May 8, 2016

18. Toronto, Canada — August 10, 2016

19. San Miguel de Allende, Guanajuato, Mexico — June 15, 2017

20. Colima, Mexico — November 18, 2017

21. Sedona, Arizona — November 10, 2018

22. Paris, France — September 26, 2019

23. Brussels, Belgium — September 29, 2019

24. Madrid, Spain — October 11, 2019

25. Lisbon, Portugal — October 17, 2019

Show Transcript (automatic text 90% accurate)
10
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Morgana Rae: And hello. Hello, my name is Morgana. This is my husband, Devin.
 
11
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Morgana Rae: We've been married what 25 times now in 20 countries that's right because love
 
12
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Morgana Rae: I don't need to say anything more. Thanks for coming by. Yeah, and his idea.
 
13
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Morgana Rae: Of
 
14
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Morgana Rae: I have a quote for you, my husband, the
 
15
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Morgana Rae: Writer that I thought you'd like, oh, get out my midlife reading glasses here.
 
16
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Morgana Rae: Hemingway Hemingway wrote all men fear death. It's the natural fear that consumes us all, we fear death because we feel that we haven't loved well enough or loved it all, which ultimately are one and the same.
 
17
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Morgana Rae: However, when you make love with a truly great woman, one that deserves the utmost respect in this world, and one that makes you feel truly powerful that fear of death completely disappears.
 
18
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Morgana Rae: Because when you are sharing your body and heart with a great woman, the world fades away.
 
19
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Morgana Rae: You two are the only ones in the entire universe you conquer what most lesser men have never conquered before
 
20
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Morgana Rae: You have conquered a great woman's heart, the most vulnerable thing she can offer to another death, no longer lingers in the mind fear no longer clouds, your heart.
 
21
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Morgana Rae: Only passion for living and for loving become your soul reality, this is no easy task for it takes insurmountable courage, but remember this for that moment when you are making love with a woman of true greatness. You will feel immortal.
 
22
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Morgana Rae: Well, what do you think of that to heaven, that is sexually charged Hemingway.
 
23
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Morgana Rae: apologies to my non sis hetero friends listening and watching because that you know it's Hemingway excuse that way. Um, I
 
24
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Morgana Rae: Dug that you picked it so you
 
25
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Morgana Rae: Must have liked it to some degree. I think loving
 
26
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Morgana Rae: A man or a woman take, you know, loving another human being, takes a lot of courage, it's, it's not for sissies I'm right now and i mean i think i think Hemingway, you know, I mean Hemingway is coming. So if you haven't read Old Man and the Sea, you need to
 
27
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Morgana Rae: You know, I think he hits it on. I think a headset on the head, which he did frequent many think he keeps things simple and he's truthful and you can kind of trust him.
 
28
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Morgana Rae: As a storyteller and I think he tells a story here and it's very much about love and vulnerability and may certainly, you know, throws in the charge sexuality, but
 
29
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Morgana Rae: The truth of the matter is, I think, you know, the fear of death and fear of not being loved or or being loving are challenging ideals.
 
30
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Morgana Rae: And one of the interesting things about having way, you know, is he's sort of
 
31
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Morgana Rae: A role model of manly manliness.
 
32
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Morgana Rae: slob deeply flawed.
 
33
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Morgana Rae: But at least I'm trying to get you in the picture. There we go.
 
34
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Morgana Rae: When I was growing up and dating a writer in college, you know, the he, I think he was trying to model himself on Hemingway down to being the worst drug and cheat.
 
35
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Morgana Rae: At the University of Massachusetts next door to my college. Um, and that that kind of brings up the topic of, you know what, what makes a great man of Devon and I were talking about this this afternoon that
 
36
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Morgana Rae: You know, we get different messages about what makes it a great person, um,
 
37
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Morgana Rae: But I think that
 
38
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Morgana Rae: For men, this is a really core question. I was in a cafe, years and years ago in Bali.
 
39
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Morgana Rae: Talking to a stranger, because that's one of my favorite things to do before and after I leave my retreat is hang out with cafes and talk to strangers from around the world.
 
40
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Morgana Rae: And there was this one conversation that stuck with me all these years where my my conversation partner said to me that he believed. There are two
 
41
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Morgana Rae: Core pain questions and and it's different for men and women, maybe this is true. Maybe it's not, but I found it intriguing that the the core pain. Question for women tends to be and my special enough to be loved.
 
42
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Morgana Rae: And I know that that's been up for me since my first Disney Princess movie.
 
43
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Morgana Rae: But the question for men isn't, are they special enough to be loved. Though the pain. Question for men is what kind of a man, am I
 
44
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Morgana Rae: And
 
45
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Morgana Rae: I don't know. That's true. Well, I don't know about being a man than I am, yeah. So I'm surprised you lead with that sort of very debatable topic, maybe
 
46
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Morgana Rae: No, I mean, I think when you say what kind of a man. What, what does that even mean
 
47
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Morgana Rae: I mean what, what does that mean, because I have, I have a response to that. But I'm just curious, what was that I think men do a lot of
 
48
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Morgana Rae: Her relic and a lot of awful things to fulfill some notion of what it means to be a good or a great man. Right. But so, but what is what is, what did you mean when you said, What kind of man are you, what does that refer to what were you thinking it was referring to. Well, I think.
 
49
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Morgana Rae: That all people and all men want to be or hope to be or dream to be the best men, they can be, they would like to be maybe they don't want to put forth the effort, but I think that that's a, a
 
50
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Morgana Rae: Kind of a a route desire of nobody wants to be insignificant. Nobody wants to be deemed a failure.
 
51
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Morgana Rae: I think that those pains and fears are more acute for some than others. Um, I, I look at these
 
52
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Morgana Rae: Sad horrible men who shoot up yoga studios and write manifestos against all the women who didn't sleep with them. Um,
 
53
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Morgana Rae: And then there are all these guys who hold them up as heroes. And so, I believe that all these men are they want to be in their own eyes, and in the eyes of their community. Great men. I don't think they are. But I think that really brings up a question that is
 
54
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Morgana Rae: I'm curious about is hearing of what makes a good man and I would love to hear from men and women who have thoughts on this.
 
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Morgana Rae: So at any time during our episode, you can call in. I would love to hear what you have to say what do you believe makes a good man and Our phone number is 8886 to 76008 and we can experiment.
 
56
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Morgana Rae: We have spared no expense. I have a very you the number right there on an index card.
 
57
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Morgana Rae: I want you to know those refer my private stash of index cards that stash. The best stash. I didn't know that they were being used today, but here they are.
 
58
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Morgana Rae: So, okay. So just to go back to you are. What kind of man are you and sort of like
 
59
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Morgana Rae: I actually agree with, with what you were saying. In other words, I think we are surrounded by, you know,
 
60
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Morgana Rae: Role models and ideals like vague notions of what I think we're supposed to be sort of like, and I've said this a million times. I think my role model. Certainly, my father. I think he did the best he could what he did best was giving me sort of like a series of
 
61
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Morgana Rae: Kind of like this is how not to be if you see me doing this in the world. You shouldn't. I didn't know that for many years, because I had to go kind of go through my own trial and error.
 
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Morgana Rae: In order to kind of get to that place. Oh, right. Yes, that is a mystery. So all the powder in Devon's book 10,000 miles with my dad father. Sounds good. And I think it's I think it's still available.
 
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Morgana Rae: So I think that's, I think that's what most men are most men do. And I think this is true for everybody. You have if sort of like a role model you have somebody that you admire and you become that thing.
 
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Morgana Rae: I'm going to completely disagree with your follow up statement which was that there are all of these manifesto people and there's all of these fans of the manifesto evil doers. I would argue that that's like
 
65
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Morgana Rae: Beyond not true, I think, have there been some crazy knuckleheads. Absolutely.
 
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Morgana Rae: There's always knuckleheads. And every era across all of human history there have been people who've done really wrong things who thought they were right.
 
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Morgana Rae: In certain some of those people had a very small handful of people that were abiding by those terms, sometimes by force, right, or fear.
 
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Morgana Rae: But I don't think by and large, your, your garden variety murderer is adored by throngs of men everywhere clamoring to agree with them. I think that's absolutely not true. I think your average guy.
 
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Morgana Rae: Your average guy in the world is well intentioned, by and large, working to be a better person in some small way.
 
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Morgana Rae: Depending on their measure of consciousness, and most people are trying to do good in the world.
 
71
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Morgana Rae: And I think for a great many people, they are failing to some degree, because it's hard to do every day.
 
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Morgana Rae: In some sort of a way that's always positive and productive enough be never offending anybody and crossing old ladies across the street, but now that's offensive because women's empowerment or something to that effect.
 
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Morgana Rae: And so I think what ends up happening is we have these notions and I would actually say it was much easier when I was growing up.
 
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Morgana Rae: Because sort of like the sort of a notion of a chivalrous strong man was a probably a much more prevalent thing that everybody could kind of aspire to, and hold on I'm almost I'm almost done. I know I can see you falling out of your mouth.
 
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Morgana Rae: I can see it. I can see it. And I'm looking forward to hearing it. I would argue that right now. If you are a
 
76
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Morgana Rae: 20 year old guy at 20 something year old guy. I think he getting all kinds of conflicting messages. And I think it's very, very difficult.
 
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Morgana Rae: Or more difficult based on society. In other words, we had a much more homogenous view of what a man should be, let's say, for the last
 
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Morgana Rae: You know, up until 30 years ago. Well, we had three TV stations, not with it. I was me. So, and then, and fathers knows best was the ideal, right.
 
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Morgana Rae: Who is it, Mr. Brady, he was the guy. He was the guy, and we all wanted to like we wanted him to be our dads. We wanted to be like him. We wanted that sort of thing. And then, SURE. THROW IN SPORTS heroes and things like that.
 
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Morgana Rae: But for the most part, I think that's what most men were attempting to aspire to.
 
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Morgana Rae: With varying degrees of success based on money and upbringing and other things.
 
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Morgana Rae: Um, and split it's gotten very much good. I think it's gotten a lot more complicated and now there are these horrible Pickup Artist classes for the last
 
83
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Morgana Rae: few decades back during my online dating years before I met you, when there was no reason to continue. Um, I had in my profile at some point something about liking chivalry.
 
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Morgana Rae: You know the guy who walks on you know the street side of the sidewalk, which you learned very quickly about me that I
 
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Morgana Rae: Must I was actually a woman told me that our dear friend of mine named Saran told me that many years ago we. A lot of us take that like I'm a feminist and I love chivalry, because it's coming.
 
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Morgana Rae: And it's sweet and it's noble and there's kind of a feeling of of heroism.
 
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Morgana Rae: Um, and I remember putting that my profile and somebody wrote back, you know, and it was crude, though, is like chivalry. He literally. And I remember, I remember nothing but I remember this. He wrote chivalry never made a woman wet.
 
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Morgana Rae: Which led me new know that this man did not know women.
 
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Morgana Rae: And and I see like all the time on, you know, social media since during the pandemic. We're on social media, even more of from men who have these very, very odd ideas of
 
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Morgana Rae: Women and what we like and what our values of the world. Well, but the debt has everything to do with men thinking differently than women. And of course, I get it. If you are watching and you had sort of like
 
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Morgana Rae: I'm a woman, and I'm very connected to my male energy and all that stuff. I mean, that's true. I'm, I'm talking in very broad strokes right now.
 
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Morgana Rae: It's good to have both know and then I think we do have both, I think we all have those kinds of things. And then over during the course of our lives. We make cultivate a particular energy more than other kinds of energy.
 
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Morgana Rae: Well, one of the sexiest things that you did in our early days, and I found the photo and send it to our producer, so it'll be on the show replay page but um you. I had a watermelon.
 
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Morgana Rae: And I was going to cut the watermelon with a steak knife. Yeah, that
 
95
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Morgana Rae: I didn't know it.
 
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Morgana Rae: And when you like peeled yourself off the floor from laughing You went out and you took me you took me shopping for grownup knives and pots and pans and that was part of it because here's the thing I remember opening up the Civil War.
 
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Morgana Rae: Yeah, and I was dating an adult woman there was like didn't cut us to have the right
 
98
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Morgana Rae: Question. There was no way you could cook anything there was like it was like a spoon that was taken from the airlines and then like a packet of soy sauce in the spoon spot and then there was like three completely mismatched knives that had you don't mean like it was like
 
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Morgana Rae: I'm the reason why places like Costco anyway. Right. No, I totally did. I did. Because I had the knives. I had like a set of silverware.
 
100
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Morgana Rae: I had those kinds of things. And so it just made it was like it was almost astonishing. The same thing with the pan that was even worse. It was like a pan. The clearly somebody had taken a mallet and turned it over where they're playing drums on the pan and then just banging the pan.
 
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Morgana Rae: Making I'm not. I've never seen a pan like this thing where somebody will it where I didn't know where on Earth. It wasn't like I was using it anyway. No.
 
102
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Morgana Rae: No. There was nobody using the silverware. There's nobody using pan. So I have this really sexy photo of my new boyfriend from eight years ago.
 
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Morgana Rae: Was not my husband carrying all of these fancy, fancy brand new pots and pans worry. I know, might not even fancy, fancy see me right now that because they were new and nobody was
 
104
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Morgana Rae: playing drums. When I met
 
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Morgana Rae: So it was, you know, so yes, I could cook in them. Right. Who knew that fire.
 
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Morgana Rae: Made things warm. So when you come over for dinner. Just know that I'm not the one who's cooking, not in the annual take us right and I would thank you. I figured that out. Oh, I was smart was
 
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Morgana Rae: Cooking really fast. I was. That was a miracle. Yeah, no, actually, what we did was we went to, I think it was Washington Boulevard and Western in Los Angeles, where they have. It's actually on
 
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Morgana Rae: Washington. It's on Washington just east, there is I can't remember the name of the place, but it was a cooking supply place which a buddy of mine turned me on to where you get like
 
109
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Morgana Rae: You know, like, you know, like, kitchen grade stuff like restaurant grade pots and pans. They're really cheap.
 
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Morgana Rae: They don't have to have special they do you can get things with special coatings and things like that. But just like to boil water.
 
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Morgana Rae: Oh, there was extra glucose flour, which was mysterious to me since everybody I know in Southern California is gluten free. Um, but for people who want to like actually bake. I guess we can be handy, um,
 
112
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Morgana Rae: So our. Yeah, that's all just flour. So yeah, for, you know, there are the things that for me that were the core necessities of what I
 
113
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Morgana Rae: Was looking for in a partner. And then there were all the like sexy would be nice stuff that I didn't expect to find
 
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Morgana Rae: Cooking wasn't even on my radar. But obviously, but, um, and you play music and you build houses. Those are like really sexy. Right. Yeah. Just, just to be clear.
 
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Morgana Rae: And this is in fairness, I would love to have you all believe that I've always been a cook.
 
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Morgana Rae: Not even marginally I think what it happened was is that as my kid got older, I wanted her to know how to cook early somebody cooking around so she could have some vague idea that she could make her own food.
 
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Morgana Rae: Right. Um, and so I bought a cookbook. And I always believe this is we're obviously going on a tangent here, but so I always believed that there was a special technique to doing something that made cooking.
 
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Morgana Rae: A thing. And what I didn't understand like I just assumed you had to do a special thing like I barbecued right you just throw some meat on the grill. At some point, and start smelling good, you know, and off you go.
 
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Morgana Rae: I assume coke cooking was a very involved process and it certainly can be right. I know people who make some gourmet I've had meals that are like I had a meal.
 
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Morgana Rae: In a place called the esta Americana, I knew, I knew, you're gonna talk about Mexico well very specifically as it is in the court or that is sort of like on the way.
 
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Morgana Rae: To Cabo I'm not a big Cabo fan. Man, I love Mexico across the board Cabos not necessarily my number one place, but there was a resort called Fiesta America. I don't know if the guys there any Martin there anymore, but the
 
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Morgana Rae: The head chef there was so good mind blowing, like everything like I'm drooling. Now even discussing this guy, hey we long story short, I had this notion my head that
 
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Morgana Rae: You know, you needed slick innate talents in order to cook. And so, you know, I remember this having dinner with with the chef of Fiesta America.
 
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Morgana Rae: Yesterday, America. And he was like, you know, I'm really sort of like a self taught. God, I just had access to foods and kitchens and things and I played and played and played until I found things that I really loved
 
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Morgana Rae: And he made amazing, amazing food. So that kind of planted a little seed that I could in fact go out and maybe do my own cooking and I bought a cookbook.
 
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Morgana Rae: Mine. Right. I think I discovered quickly if you have a good cook, good, a good cookbook and you follow the directions of the recipe. You can make a bar ridiculously good meal, maybe
 
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Morgana Rae: Your favorite cookbooks on our replay because I do, I do have a handful of cookbooks that I love something that you said
 
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Morgana Rae: Since I would like to like get somewhat back to our topic we'll get there and we'll have loads. We have loved you still have like 10 more know you're thinking of another list, but I do have. Okay, we'll get to one, yes.
 
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Morgana Rae: And call in and interrupt us at any time. The number is 8886 to 76008 number again is 8886 to 76008 and women, especially women, although I want to hear from guys to like anybody who's single and likes guys, what are you looking for in a man that you consider to make them a good man.
 
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Morgana Rae: Um, this is an opportunity to like speak it into existence of
 
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Morgana Rae: One of the surprise things over the course of our courtship that let me know that you were a good guy. I was not looking for somebody who was a parent didn't want to really didn't want to share didn't think I would make good babies at my age.
 
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Morgana Rae: And you came with the daughter.
 
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Morgana Rae: Did you did, and you're having a daughter. Let me know what kind of a man, you were because of your devotion
 
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Morgana Rae: Your willingness to drop everything and wake up at five in the morning to drive down to San Diego to drive for two blocks to the first day of school and then turn around and sit in traffic for four hours. Yeah.
 
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Morgana Rae: Um, but that lucky thing if your daughter made you a better human being in my eyes was like, that's how you take care of those you love
 
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Morgana Rae: So I would say loyalty and caring and protection.
 
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Morgana Rae: Honesty, integrity is just a huge value for me like I couldn't love somebody, I don't respect and trust. And I was 47 before I got married ever in my life and you were the one I chose because of you.
 
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Morgana Rae: Are
 
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Morgana Rae: The only guy who could maintain my interest and my trust.
 
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Morgana Rae: If that makes sense. Like, I'm still craving that he attracted to you right. I love that.
 
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Morgana Rae: But, but here's the thing, here's the only problem with this whole line dialogue so far. Uh huh. Is that nobody cares about me.
 
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Morgana Rae: They care about their own relationships. They care about their own goodness. They care about their own desires and move forward in their own lives in some sort of a really positive wonderful work we did get a message from clay and I actually love that we got this message from a guy.
 
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Morgana Rae: What he
 
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Morgana Rae: Says is what makes a good man good man is kind, caring, loving, nurturing sets a good example for children or others respects everyone the same looks are not the sole criteria.
 
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Morgana Rae: Avoid the bad apples in and around your life and loved ones if needed plant seeds answer the phone for family support each family member. So it's that nurturing thing I'm be a cheerleader for those who love
 
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Morgana Rae: Be a good leader lead your family out of harm's way. That's and to safety and an emergency. That's I think that's a, that's a shuttle refund. That is that chivalry thing like we hear a lot about toxic masculinity and it actually just feels good to be
 
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Morgana Rae: You know, hearing the opposite. Oh, I love this treat your wife like a princess and equal
 
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Morgana Rae: I'm open and hold the door for your wife. Yes. The chivalry thing.
 
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Morgana Rae: Of lead by example and and follow the traffic rules by the way you know when when we're a passenger on a car, we feel a lot safer.
 
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Morgana Rae: When you follow the traffic rules. Um, there was some other on placeless that's unplaced list about traffic rules. Yeah, down at second from the bottom of all traffic rules. Yeah. Example. Okay, fair enough. Yeah, I think that's totally um
 
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Morgana Rae: And he says, Do not use falling whichever like that. I'm fine with foul language, maybe not having a directed at me abusively and so that's just one of those areas where we all have our different are different.
 
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Morgana Rae: Criteria. You know what, we're comfortable and okay we'll
 
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Morgana Rae: See, I would argue. The more specific you get like on placeless. And by the way, I think, if I could, caring and loving and nurturing are all good things to strive for. I think those are all useful things
 
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Morgana Rae: I think though there is sort of like, you know, the following the traffic rules do I think somebody can get a speeding ticket and still be a good person. Yes, I do.
 
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Morgana Rae: Too I let's see, don't talk about stuff that pushes buttons and others. Yeah, that's one of those things that, like, I don't think that's possible, but I think it is possible when we learn each other's buttons.
 
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Morgana Rae: I think it's, I think the problem is is that
 
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Morgana Rae: It's hard to go out in the world and have an opinion on anything where somebody isn't going to be potentially offended.
 
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Morgana Rae: And so the only thing we have 2020 especially in 2020 and but I don't think that necessarily is a criteria for being a good person.
 
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Morgana Rae: Is, you know, like, in other words, if I know that you have some past trauma going out of my way to bring up the past trauma is probably not a useful thing.
 
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Morgana Rae: Right, if it's just going to cause you harm. And I know it's going to cause you harm. I think it's different when you're just trying to sort of like articulate pipe to us. Yeah, that's kind of where for me anyway that's sort of where
 
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Morgana Rae: I get lost in that particular but, by the way, I think what clay did was great Bray. And I'm glad that he came out and did that and that was fun. And I'm glad.
 
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Morgana Rae: You read it and maybe he'll find out about it and watch the show and appreciate it, or say, How dare you critique my and you missed the most important thing. Right. And I probably did. I did. I didn't read it. I was just kind of letting it glaze over me, but
 
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Morgana Rae: So that goes so so should we refer to my list or do you have some more ideas on because I'm glad to do. I think we should look at your list and also
 
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Morgana Rae: The genesis of this whole topic was I managed to get through all of the 80s and all the decades afterwards, without having seen the Karate Kid.
 
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Morgana Rae: Yeah, and you married me anyway. But you didn't know that you didn't know that. So what I might have a different response.
 
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Morgana Rae: Um, so you might have had a different response and you know that your husband walks around wearing plaids and stripes, this time.
 
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Morgana Rae: I need to read them and I really, I kind of thought that you might as well. Here we go. So
 
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Morgana Rae: Devon was watching Cobra Kai and overcome and I was running out of things to watch out Netflix. And so, Devin found of the Karate Kid.
 
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Morgana Rae: Online and we watched it at once and it was great. And then I dove into Cobra. Kai, which I actually like, way better. Yeah. No, it's well i mean it's it's you're talking about 21 episodes. So yeah. Well, it was great.
 
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Morgana Rae: They yeah there's so much more nuance in depth, and it's also really fun to watch these kids now as middle aged people my age, creaky and relatable. I get. That's how I know I'm an adult, as I find the adults more interesting.
 
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Morgana Rae: But what I really, what if I'm really compelling was you had who used to be the bad guys. Very two dimensional bad guys in the movie.
 
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Morgana Rae: You get to know them better and their motivations and their vulnerabilities a lot better on Cobra. Kai, and the good guys.
 
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Morgana Rae: Are not always that great. So what unifies all of them is whether I like what they're doing, or not. They're all striving to be the best men, they can be, they're just getting very different instruction on what that means. And I would I would venture that some of my single women friends.
 
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Morgana Rae: Have a very high priority on the band being the breadwinner, and others that is not as important
 
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Morgana Rae: For me, integrity, creating a safe emotional nurturing space for me indulging in my absolutely limited limitless need for attention and affection.
 
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Morgana Rae: Is
 
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Morgana Rae: Devon understands
 
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Morgana Rae: Is my highest priority. Well, that in that I that I can respect that that you know my partner's smart and funny and I respect him.
 
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Morgana Rae: So we all have our different definitions of what makes a good man, like I'm people in the KKK, who I don't think are good people undoubtedly see themselves as good people and live in a culture.
 
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Morgana Rae: That
 
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Morgana Rae: Kick may define a good man as violent and races and that's how subjective, it is i don't i don't subscribe to that.
 
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Morgana Rae: Um, so I thought this was just an interesting question. If you have your own comments or point of view, you can call in at 888 67 6008
 
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Morgana Rae: And whether you do or not, we're going to dive into Devon's list of what makes a good man.
 
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Morgana Rae: Well, okay, so last time when we had a conversation about this topic. So we're gonna have a little bit of a recap.
 
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Morgana Rae: So we talked about this idea of integrity and that's basically a value system and you know my value system is going to be different from some other person's value system.
 
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Morgana Rae: The value system that I'm going to create this with any luck, will help serve me be being a moral just con loving, caring person out world.
 
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Morgana Rae: I was having a conversation with my coach yesterday about the difference between values and holders.
 
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Morgana Rae: And his, his distinction is a hunger is what I want for me like I want people to be respectful to me. I want people to be honest with me. I want people to be kind with me.
 
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Morgana Rae: But I don't necessarily want to be honest, or kind or respectful to anybody else. And that would not be a value that would be a hunger.
 
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Morgana Rae: But when I want it for everybody. When I want everybody to have safety and respect and abundance and beauty and and a
 
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Morgana Rae: Confidence and love when I want it for everybody, then it becomes
 
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Morgana Rae: A value. And I thought about was so integrity becomes something for everybody and and I define integrity is as holiness, like an integer. You can't divide
 
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Morgana Rae: Into in integrity. Integrity. Okay. You do you have a second a second idea on your life. Yes, I do. And so the second one is going to be really complicated to explain. Great. Yes, so
 
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Morgana Rae: Which means we may not get to a third one, but so it's this notion of will.
 
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Morgana Rae: And so will is the way I would describe it is that we're all here for a particular purpose. This is just my belief, take it for what it's worth, I think we have like an internal thing that we know what's right and wrong for us.
 
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Morgana Rae: You know, I mean, I would argue that the vast majority of us, you know, again, we're going to strive towards
 
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Morgana Rae: Doing good things. We're going to wave at our neighbors. We're going to try and put food on the table for kids and families and and try to be of support and love where we can't
 
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Morgana Rae: Right. And sometimes, some of us do that really well, some of us don't
 
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Morgana Rae: Some of us will try and fail repeatedly and some of us will kind of go, oh, that's what I need to do right that's kind of, again, going back to my father, my father was a very loving wonderful guy.
 
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Morgana Rae: And at the same time he just had a very narrow bandwidth of his capacity to be present on a daily basis, which is tough. And I understand that.
 
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Morgana Rae: I just means we get to work at it. So going back to this idea of will. It's sort of like getting in touch with the piece of you that helps move you forward.
 
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Morgana Rae: I would say that will has to do with sort of like what your kind of larger purposes. Maybe that's your career, maybe has nothing to do with career.
 
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Morgana Rae: I would, I would say that it's one of those ideas that gets married quite well to somebody's ability to follow through on important things
 
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Morgana Rae: So I'm probably doing like this. I remember taking a class talking about writers right since we talked about having label kind of go down this road for a second. So there was this idea
 
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Morgana Rae: Where a, you know, an American writer tends to write directly to the thing that they're talking about
 
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Morgana Rae: Right, like one sentence needs to the next sentence that's all heading toward the one thing and that's our through point. And that's our thing.
 
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Morgana Rae: So Japanese writers, or at least according to my professor for from a number of years ago. He suggested that
 
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Morgana Rae: Japanese writers tend to talk around the thing that trying to get, like, that's part of the mystery.
 
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Morgana Rae: Part of the puzzle of like Haruki Murakami as an example is that he's talking around the thing like so this thing becomes the sort of like vague kind of thing.
 
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Morgana Rae: And I think that's part of what happens with our, our will, right, because my will is going to be different from
 
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Morgana Rae: Again, my opinion, my belief system that it's going to be different from yours and mine can coexist with yours and that we are all trying to figure it out.
 
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Morgana Rae: you succeed, we fail miserably. Somebody joins the Klu Klux Klan, and hopefully they figure out quickly. That's probably not a way to live your life.
 
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Morgana Rae: But I'm sure in the back of their mind they're they're trying to strive towards this thing that will give their life meaning, so they can go out and do
 
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Morgana Rae: Whatever goodness, they're intending to do and so that requires a sort of like what I would say a bit of passion, a little bit of inspiration and a little bit of sort of follow through.
 
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Morgana Rae: Of course, getting to those places are tough. And I would argue that perhaps the biggest component to this is this number three. Now it's number four.
 
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Morgana Rae: So we're going to skip number three for just released this moment. So, I think. And this is, again, I think all of the ideas that we're talking about, kind of,
 
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Morgana Rae: Fit together so it will sort of like Dharma, you're, you're, like, You're right path. Yeah, and I think I think attempting to do your right path.
 
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Morgana Rae: Is bigger and more important than your career. Like, I think it, you know, money's great. Like, I hope, I hope everybody who's watching this as buckets of cash reading from the sky, you have exactly what you want. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah all those good things in the world.
 
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Morgana Rae: But having the right career doesn't necessarily mean having the right life. How does somebody determine what their
 
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Morgana Rae: Right path is their will, because I have the sense that they're, you know, I think at the self will run riot. I'm supposed to be a movie star and save the world that way. And maybe like
 
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Morgana Rae: Divinity is going
 
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Morgana Rae: Maybe, maybe not. That's right. So I would argue, the more your if you decide, get my opinion if you decide to thing you need to do.
 
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Morgana Rae: Is sort of where you get pat pat on the back on the end of it.
 
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Morgana Rae: That's not it. Like if you're like, I want to lead the revolution.
 
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Morgana Rae: I mean, you can. You could leave the revolution, but I don't think that's the the sort of like the guiding but would you vote shape leading the revolution and getting no credit for it.
 
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Morgana Rae: But, and that's and that's also the tricky part of the trick is, if you're if you're doing it because you're expecting somebody to patch on the back rub your belly tell you, you could person to view a treat.
 
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Morgana Rae: Now, go, go to the toilet out in the yard. You know, if that's the case, then I think you're that's not it at all. I mean, again, you can leave the revolution.
 
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Morgana Rae: But if you're leading the revolution with some secret internal thing that says if I lead the revolution, everyone will know Me and love Me validate me
 
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Morgana Rae: Which by the way we all crave that right. We all know that, but we're talking about
 
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Morgana Rae: To be a good person. Right. So I think certainly at least on my list. I think what's really important is being conscious of the fact that there's this thing. There's this through line that's going through you.
 
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Morgana Rae: Where you can be of genuine importance.
 
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Morgana Rae: But I think soon as you start making that genuine importance about your ego, what you can gain from it what you can manipulate from it.
 
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Morgana Rae: In other words, without question, all you have to do is turn on the news and see lots of talented musicians and actors and entertainers that at some point, start taking themselves far too seriously.
 
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Morgana Rae: And then all of a sudden, the things that made them funny just drive up a blown away. Well, I'm not a guy or an expert in what it's like to be a guy I have dated a lot of guys
 
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Morgana Rae: We won't say how many because my husband's here, but what I will say is that I have noticed. So many guys have known had this thing about the Knights of the Round Table.
 
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Morgana Rae: And this like there's like this drop to noble self sacrifice for a great cause I think is, is a
 
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Morgana Rae: Big cultural theme for men have of what it means to be a good man. I actually, I love that. Not that I want anybody to go out and sacrifice themselves and dive. But I think that um, that is a beautiful thing that that selfless love and service notion of that kind of heroism. I, I just
 
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Morgana Rae: I appreciate and and admire and just just want to give some love to all you guys who, you know, are, are putting the safety of your loved ones first four or going out there and risking life and limb to like put out fires are safe people in me. You know that that is
 
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Morgana Rae: Guys, get a lot of a lot of trash and there's also a lot of heroes out there.
 
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Morgana Rae: Okay, okay, what was your number four, what my my number four is an aide to number two. And so I think all of these things. It's sort of like an aid in figuring out the purpose, you talked about it. Right, so the the
 
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Morgana Rae: It's it's it's consciousness. So in other words, I think we have these two roads. I've given this I've given this analogy a million times.
 
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Morgana Rae: Is that we have sort of for me anywhere I have like these two directions takers in the broccoli total. And so I can go down the road of the broccoli steamed broccoli with nothing on it.
 
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Morgana Rae: Maybe you get a twist of salt. And then you have like a mountain of Snickers bars and the Snickers bars are delicious and you know they're delicious.
 
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Morgana Rae: And you also know if you eat nothing but Snickers bars. It's just bad news like in the big picture in the long run the Snickers bars aren't a way of life. You could make a life out of broccoli.
 
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Morgana Rae: Right, you'd probably actually be really healthy because there's all that good nutrients in it less so have a Snickers bar but we like the Snickers bars because they're fantastic election so life should have both. But the point is, if you're taking one route or in other words
 
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Morgana Rae: If there's one path or another path.
 
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Morgana Rae: You'd rather make a conscious decision.
 
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Morgana Rae: I would argue towards the broccoli. Then you sitting down and. Okay, what do I need to do here, what will
 
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Morgana Rae: What will be the thing that will improve my life and those around you. Because usually if I'm improving the lives of those around me. My life is getting improved as well. So when you have those conversations
 
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Morgana Rae: With guys that I you over here I over here on the glass. Yeah, I don't know him to vary, but I have seen this guy. Yeah.
 
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Morgana Rae: I but I get so much once a woman to so I have. Yeah. Yeah. No, but I have heard like one sided conversations have you explaining to them why they shouldn't sleep with that woman who likes them so much more than they like the woman.
 
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Morgana Rae: So that's kind of what I think it has to do with the consciousness. In other words, you could put the girl who digs you
 
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Morgana Rae: On the Snickers side of things. And of course, once in a while, should you just have sex for sex sake, because it's far right have snicker sex. Right. That's one way to do it the other way to do it is to make a conscious decision if you know that you are not into that girl.
 
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Morgana Rae: Does it serve the girl just to take advantage of the situation because she's attractive enough and she digs you enough where you can say, all right, she may not be for me, but I'm going to go down the Snickers bars path because I know the Snickers are delicious.
 
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Morgana Rae: I would also say that if you're heading down a Snickers bar path you're less likely to meet the girl of your dreams. Who's much more likely to be
 
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Morgana Rae: On broccoli. Yeah, and I for the long term big picture thing. In other words, if you're like, I don't want to get married, I just want to go out with a bunch of girls. And that's what I want.
 
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Morgana Rae: Then the Snickers path is for you and enjoy yourself. Except there will be drama on that path. What the Snickers. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, no, there will be no there will be, then you will have totally have to pay
 
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Morgana Rae: sneakers are delicious in the moment, then if you're only eating Snickers bars and you gain 50 pounds because that's what eating only Snickers bars is likely to do or have a really, really unhappy.
 
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Morgana Rae: Partner or an unexpected baby or any other kind of drama right there's tons of things. So what I would argue, ultimately, is that the Snickers bars path is really about your reactive nature.
 
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Morgana Rae: Right, you have these thoughts, we have these feelings. We want to go with our thoughts and feelings we assume we could only be right.
 
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Morgana Rae: That we only have we see the picture very clear. Can it be wrong. It feels so good. Right, exactly. So all of those things are more often than not about the reactive
 
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Morgana Rae: Because if I sat somebody dancing, who's only eating Snickers bars, hey listen man you know that you probably could use your body could use more nutrients than what the Snickers bar offers
 
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Morgana Rae: I'm willing to bet. In most cases, somebody like ya know I could see where the broccoli. I just don't like it, and I'm not going to eat it. Well, fair enough.
 
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Morgana Rae: Least that's a conscious truthful answer, but I think the conscious part of it is, do I want to take actions in my life that aren't useful to me.
 
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Morgana Rae: That don't serve me in the big picture and don't serve those people around me, and I don't know that that's a conversation. You could have with an 18 year old boy.
 
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Morgana Rae: But that is one. No, I wouldn't want that conversation when I was 18 but I have very different than one mid life love is so much better. Right. I didn't even know steamed broccoli path was an option. It wasn't one you would have taken no
 
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Morgana Rae: Point is behind the shrubbery somewhere you want to look behind the shrubbery read all the Snickers bars.
 
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Morgana Rae: Now I'm getting it all the Snickers bar. So we're not necessarily like if you're 18 enjoy your life, know that there's the broccoli path that is waiting for you, where you can have yourself and enjoy talking to the ground right we are
 
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Morgana Rae: Are there 18 year old people listening.
 
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Morgana Rae: unless unless they just saw my face and thought, oh, that's really compelling. I want to be him when I grow right absolutely that God does anybody. Did anyone ever tell him the plants and stripes.
 
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Morgana Rae: Don't go together except on me, my luck. All right. Well, I'll let it work if I can get away with. We're very close to the end of our hour
 
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Morgana Rae: And I didn't prepare you for this at all. I'm not. But my, my job is to make you uncomfortable. We just had a winter solstice. We just had the conjunction of structural integrity loving Saturn and and
 
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Morgana Rae: Expensive and brilliant joy and pleasure and and and travel loving Jupiter, kind of in the same place. Um, and you actually led me through a really amazing spell Saturday night.
 
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Morgana Rae: So what could you say or give to our audience to like make the magical most of winter solstice and Christmas this week.
 
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Morgana Rae: Oh, I mean, you know, I don't even know if it's going to be that long. I think that's going to be different for everybody. And then I think part of it is
 
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Morgana Rae: Is is kind of starting something new. You know, this is where we're all of a sudden there were the return of the lights going to start happening.
 
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Morgana Rae: Days, or we're not going to get darkness at four o'clock in the afternoon. So it's one of those things that you take that return of the light and you do something with it. You know, if you believe in, sort of like a ritual kind of
 
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Morgana Rae: You know sensibility, by the way, every single every single religion has some kind of ritual attached right like so as a as a high, you know, when we get together we're absolutely part of our ritual is that we're going to read prayers. Like, for sure, pilots of faith, you know,
 
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Morgana Rae: What it's a feast free your mind.
 
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Morgana Rae: With that said, I love that. I love the bahais I you know I'm grateful for them. But so my point is, is that if if there is, if you're looking for an energy that's increasing
 
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Morgana Rae: To looking for look for something that you want to increase in yourself and your life and it could be your money, or it could be, it could be anything, but I think the idea is, is that while things are increasing, especially when like
 
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Morgana Rae: Saturn and Jupiter or in conjunction, the way they are at this very moment, I think what you do is you look for ways to increase that thing.
 
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Morgana Rae: And it could be anything. It could be increase your bill power. It could be increase your happiness increase your money and then you come up with some notions that you can take understanding that right now. I can take some kind of an action that's going to be useful.
 
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Morgana Rae: To myself and others, by the way. So we still have to do. Number three on the list. Yeah, but I was thinking about. Yeah.
 
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Morgana Rae: I'm just saying better in Saturn is like it's and now we have you know a waxing. I think we have a waxing moon. I'm not sure, but we're so we're we're having an increase in light and
 
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Morgana Rae: What I love about the addition of Saturn and right now like one of my favorite astrologer says that, you know, the two at the two World at War and Saturn wins this round because they're in Capricorn Saturn is happy and Jupiter is week
 
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Morgana Rae: But it's, it's like the darkest of night, you know, the shortest day of the year and it just gets brighter. So the sea.
 
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Morgana Rae: Is what can you grow with the power of Saturn for a strong foundation for the integrity that was lacking in the past, what can be fixed, so that you have a container for more abundance and more love and more success and more health and more happiness. So instead of
 
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Morgana Rae: Jupiter, which is like this fun loving, you know, gimme gimme gimme let's travel the world. Let's be wise and it's all going to be fun and fattening.
 
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Morgana Rae: Now, we know it's actually going to be. It's going to be fun, but healthy and sustainable is is the paradigm that we can play with as we like. Move out of this.
 
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Morgana Rae: dumpster fire year of 2020. This is just and and create like something better like better government better health better economy better social contract. Just like everything that's wrong really got visible this year.
 
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Morgana Rae: So that we get to choose what doesn't belong in our lives. Things that and people that we thought we were fine with we discover, oh
 
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Morgana Rae: This is no longer a good fit, which means that everything that we bring in moving forward is a better fit. So the Saturn. I don't know if that's a choice. I think it's a choice. It's like I release you with love.
 
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Morgana Rae: And I'm moving towards more integrity.
 
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Morgana Rae: Because we live with like over 7 BILLION PEOPLE ARE WE AT eight yet. I don't know, but it's just such an abundant planet.
 
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Morgana Rae: That we can always find good people and people to love and people to partner with and people to resonate with. We don't have to hold on to the crumbs. We don't have to hold on to stuff that doesn't feel right and doesn't work.
 
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Morgana Rae: By the way, even the best relationship is going to have those scary moments where we're bringing out the worst in each other. That's like, that's that Hemingway, quote, I mean, love is not for sissies
 
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Morgana Rae: There are going to be those moments where like, oh my god, I chose this person and then you come back to love and you make it even stronger and that's that's
 
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Morgana Rae: Why, when I was single, and I was asking every couple. I knew who had been happily married for decades and decades and decades, what the secret was. I thought they were going to say like, don't go to bed angry, or, you know, give me some advice. Every single person said, I picked the right person.
 
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Morgana Rae: And I think when you pick the right person, you pick the person that both of you are going to stick together and work it out for each other. We are really heading to the end. So
 
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Morgana Rae: To wrap it up. We will be back next week, Wednesday, at 5pm Pacific with another video. Yes. For the last episode of the year and will I think we'll come up with some kind of
 
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Morgana Rae: Ritual for ending the year and creating the new one I will also post the link to my man, you know, complete and create new year manifestation formula.
 
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Morgana Rae: To the page for anybody who wants to go through that and Evan, do you have a final word. No, you did great. Thank you. Next Wednesday at five o'clock.
 
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Thank you for listening to Crazy Sexy midlife law, please sign up to join our free love family at Crazy Sexy midlife love.com
 
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