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Bringing Intimacy Back, November 5, 2020

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Bringing Intimacy Back
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Bringing Intimacy Back with Dr. April Brown and guest Tammi Pickle
Bringing Intimacy Back with Dr. April Brown and guest Tammi Pickle, VP of Elite Connections International (Family owned Match Making business)
Topic: I'm looking for love

Bringing Intimacy Back

Bringing Intimacy Back with Dr April Brown and Dr Kelly
Show Host
Dr April Brown

As we look around in this world today, it seems we are becoming more disconnected from one another, even though we have the technology to connect to more and more people than ever before. Furthermore, the lack of intimacy (in its many forms) is one of the top three reasons why relationships struggle and many times end.

Thus the Bringing Intimacy Back talk show is a show dedicated to inspire, enlighten, and encourage intimate connections. This show provides an engaging atmosphere to discuss and demonstrate ways to enhance intimacy in one’s personal relationships with significant others, families, friends, Higher Power, and oneself. The show will discuss intimate connections in many different forms, such as sex, communication, emotional, physical, health, and spiritual. In fact, research has shown that as we increase our intimate connection with ourselves, our Higher Power, and others.  It will help decrease the conflicts, anxiety, and depression in our lives.


Increasing intimacy for all has become Dr. April’s mission. The mission statement of the show is to provide an atmosphere to discuss and demonstrate ways to increase closeness in one’s personal relationships with significant others, families, friends, Higher Power, and oneself. Therefore, Dr. April started in February 2018 to host her own new Radio/TV Show Bringing Intimacy Back where she and other intimacy experts will provide resources and tips on increasing intimacy in all types of relationships. Audience members will be able to transform their relationships through relationship experts’ insights, useful and practical resources, role-playing, and audience participation. The show’s goal is to show its audience members that intimacy can be alive and real in the relationships we desired.

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Show Transcript (automatic text 90% accurate)

welcome to the bring intimacy back show where is real on this show we believe that intimately connecting with yourself your significant other children family business Network community and your higher power can elevate your life to work towards a positive future that's we explore intimate topic inspiring life stories spiritually and insightful tips on strengthening relationship this show is hosted by dr. April a Florida licensed mental health counselor relationship and intimacy therapist board certified telemental health counselor National Certified counselor and a certified sex therapist she is the owner of vacation counseling and Cape Coral therapist and the creator of the internet connections newsletter for more information about dr. April services and the bring intimacy back show please visit bring intimacy back. Com check out tasks shows on Apple ID

Spotify YouTube or wherever you listen to your podcast now let's get this episode of the bringing intimacy back show started because we share with you the secret power to intimacy to create a life you love or love the life you create now here's your host dr. April

welcome to the bring intimacy back show where intimacy is real why do many of you are just tired of hearing about the elections in different kind of stuff like that so guess what is shelf that's not what we're going to discuss at all so put that aside but in the show today and and then further shows a really trying to improve the show so if you have any questions do you have any, please let me know cuz I'm really trying to work on improving the show I'm a few years ago I was also trying to work on improving Relationships by my own relationships and so I was thinking his while dating and all that kind of stuff in a few years back do I was I was out there in the dating world but I was doing my dating kind of just okay and so when I decided you know what is like many of you guys I'm busy doing this and God that I really needed to take my relationship serious

guess what I say I got a Matchmaker Yes actually got a lot to me and you may be like why why did you do that because I was so busy and I needed to find someone that I could you know talk with and meet with that understood my niece is what I was doing was not working on getting people who wanted to be my I was going to be there sugar mommas and that wasn't going to work so what I did is I got a Matchmaker yeah and that was fabulous and so what today is it's because I'm I want to bring that service so you guys know you're comfortable with it if it's something that you something you would want to do well I found someone he's an expert in it what I mean by this girl but her name is hi Tammy welcome to the show

yes yes so that they was going to be talking about I'm looking for love and Tammy pickle is a she's a vice president and partner of elite connections International it's a family-owned matchmaking agency that has been in the business for 26 years they have 25 offices all over nationally and internationally and tell me husband in the matchmaking business what she grew up so she's really an expert Matchmaker and relationship expert and I really thinking you so much for being in the shell and providing all the information for our guests to the listeners out there today yeah thank you for having me excited to be here talking with you cuz you're going up and you know

when did you realize what your family was into and how did that even involve yeah so my mom started this company 26 years ago so let's do the math I'm 39 so I was about you know 13 14 and videotapes and I'm with her and I picked out my my step dad's so I just thought they would be so great together I felt like they had a lot in common so she went out with him and she's has been with him ever since so that was my first match and then she just thought what a great way of meeting people she was in real estate at the time so that's when she decided to start her own company she started her not to making agency and I was young and I would kind of help her with flyers and mailers and things like that throughout the years but I really started you know matching people around you know a teen night

1820 really full-time Matchmaker and and that's when I fell in love with what I do it was nothing nothing that I was ever going to do I wanted to get into counseling I want to do other things but I really fell in love with helping people when I can sit down with them and get to know them and then make them appropriate matches and they give me a call if you can you help me find the one that's when I really fell in love with what I do to you and I decided I want to do this forever I love it I'm passionate about it I love to help people that's what it's in my blood I have always wanted to help people in a certain way I wasn't sure which way I wanted to get into counseling when I was younger I got my degree in Psychology and this is kind of fell in my lap it was something that my mom is created a wonderful company and I have helped her in the last twenty years until the den to what it is today we're a good team and I'm grateful to her you know it to be able to be able to work with her and help people every single day and just love what I do and

he and I work closely together and we have a really large team that work with us and we kind of feel like we're family and I feel like I'm friends with my client then and he not being able to match them and something so intimate which is sometimes bad but most of the time is good because you know people expect a lot they want to find their love right off the bat and sometimes like a little bit of time really you know all of our clients meet someone has a life that they hit it off with and stop just music to my ears it's what I why I do what I do and love it every single day like you said it's a very intimate type of experience in a sense of even meeting with the Matchmaker telling them all that information you are not the person so even as a teenager were you always like matching up your friends and that kind of stuff is since you did it at such a young age

send and I've always been wanting to set up my friends and and help people find the you know the right person to you I kind of feel like I was born to do this and my mom didn't start it I would have done it anyway so it's just all worked out the way it was supposed to say you cannot just you know could you people together there is a skill to it yeah right really just like knowing people and personality numbers that we think would be appropriate and of course running them by both parties but I think it's a feeling I have and then that I sent appropriate matches to my clients and then they say yes or no of course we wanted to be mutual but that's what's different about a Matchmaker versus online you know online your kind of sifting through hundreds of profile as a Matchmaker I'm sifting through hundred

profiles and then sending you know I think are going to be great matches for each person do you know what they're looking for what's important to them and then knowing both people and who's a good fit together on many different levels

like it but I noticed people that may be listening thinking that I can do that myself but even from my own experience when I was doing that myself I got kind of crazy stuff and the person that they match me with this is one person and I'm with that person my husband now but it would have been someone that I would have if I saw them on the street I may not have matched with them you know that kind of stuff in the same thing even in the eclipse through a profile Yeah Yeah Yeahs online and and they're like I was just too much work it's so time-consuming people are being honest about who they are or what they're all about or what they're looking for so I'm kind of doing that research on anyone making sure I'm doing background I am I making sure they are who they say they are they are divorced they don't have criminal history worry about meeting

free online I'm doing that work for them so they don't have to waste our time with you no inauthentic photos or profiles are those types of things so I'm kind of doing all that work that you maybe don't want to do online

right right so when you get a Matchmaker and I'll be punished even justify what exactly is a Matchmaker I've been using this word do we get to know our clients well talk to them and detail about themselves and where they came from and what they're looking for and really going to detail about the person they're wanting to meet and who I feel might be a good fit for them I'm really getting to know each person individually pretty well and then making those appropriate matches based on preferences what someone's looking for we do work for it yet professional people they're looking to find the right person they're serious about settling down in a majority of our clients are contacting us directly because maybe they are not wanted to use online are they went that route and they just want a different way of meeting other quality professionals that we have free screen our clients appreciate that we are needing checking IDs background searching verifying

they say they are what they do for a living you know making sure we're using recent photos all the types of things so we have a very large database of clients that we searched through and then we make appropriate mattress and profiles and then both parties agreed to meet each other and then we set it up for them in a little different in 2020 and has there been any changes because of all what's going on around March there there was a hold on it as people work talking or they were virtually chatting but a lot of people didn't want to meet in person they were little bit scared about doing that so then it started to open up and people were open-minded to maybe meeting for a picnic or a walk or you know it when the restaurants open for you know an outdoor dinner date things like that but I felt like

when people were chatting and they were getting to know each other over the phone that they were able to connect a little bit more than maybe going on a first date and then and then writing them off so I didn't feel connected well it was a it was a one-hour date so really you know maybe you want to go on a second date or Thursday to get to know them better so I feel like people gave you know these math is a little bit more time on to get to know each other and evolve into relationship so I did have a lot of clients that met and grew into you know Foundation a friend and then ended up meeting and falling for each other even more so I felt like there was some positives and negatives in the whole thing but things are opening up and I mean phones are ringing off the hook. Assuming that people from what ideas is as a therapist or a lot of people who are very lonely now

I don't need a partner I don't need this I don't need that but now with this quarantine and everything like they filming a little bit Yeah Yeah business has been busy I think people are like I'm sick of being alone they've been alone they haven't been around friends or family very much so people are lonely and they're not wanting to do this again alone so like okay before it was another quarantine or if there's not I want I want to find the right person and help me find that right person so we've been very busy with people that's okay I'm going to make a change I want I want somebody in my life I want somebody to be with him some time with and help me find that person OK I like we're going to take a short break I'm going to go into the need some bolts of view dating and you're serious about it you know what are the next steps in this whole matchmaking process are you wanting to feel empowered love secured

Beckett inspired in these uncertain times if so don't your April a licensed mental health counselor and relationship and sex therapist who specializes in intimacy can help you when are you were in need of inside and skills to work through a struggling relationship through couple counseling or to understand your anxiety or depression and individual counseling or to figure out your life goals and coaching with compassion and expertise can assist you and these areas also she provides services for emotional support animal documentation supervision and workshop in addition dr. April has a group practice called Cape Coral therapist Cape Coral therapist has an awesome team of male and female mental health therapists who specialize in various areas including mental health Christian Counseling trauma addiction immigration and forth counseling and are ready to serve you the Cape Coral therapist

which is rated 5-star on Google reviews is known as the Dream Team because of their energy and passion for therapy and determination to provide you with effective and solution-focused counseling for you and your family in a safe and confidential environment for more information on how you can schedule an appointment in person or virtually with dr. April or any of the therapist at Cape Coral therapist please call 239-565-6921 and you are welcome to visit Doctor April's website ww.w. Dr. April Brown. Calm and ww.w. Cape Coral serapis. Com you can follow dr. April on LinkedIn at dr. April Brown you can follow Cape Coral therapist on Facebook at Cape Coral therapy just remember April and her team of therapist and resources can help you strengthen your intimate connections with yourself your loved ones your community and

your higher power

okay welcome back to the bring an intimacy show where intimacy is real and today we're talking about if you're out there and you're and because of this quarantine and all other stuff and you're lonely and you're thinking you know I really want to do I really want to meet someone I've been there and so what we're talking about if taking it to the next level to get serious about looking for love and then getting serious about looking for love sometimes it's good to have an expert and so today would we have is Tammy pickle and I'll show I mean she's an expert Matchmaker to tell me I'm one of the things that I'm just you know thinking about even how the price is right for me was that I had to really get in all honesty serious about dating

I think ya do you see that in the sense of when you start to think about how having a matchmakers or even in the sense of the kinds you've had those who I've been really serious about it and that kind of stuff do you agree with that subject off the right types of people on their own weather online or out and about and then they are wanting us to match them and so once they come to us yeah they're pretty serious about finding the right person which is why we have a good success by Denny majority of our clients are like I want to find someone I want to settle down and serious about you know the right person it's not about getting a bunch of people at once it's really about finding quality and finding the right person and then eventually you know being with that person

right and I noticed that you guys have offices nationally and internationally so in this sense I look like I was blessed with that Matchmaker actually matching me with someone if he's here but he's actually from Belgium that European but it worked out with one of the things that was one of my main concern was diversity having people you know how does that work with you by yeah we work with all ethnicities all locations we really can help anyone anywhere and we have a very large database I mean 20 years in business we have a database Nationwide in its nationally we really can help anyone anywhere I mean majority of our offices are northern northern and southern California Florida Arizona Vegas Texas and then a lot of European clients as well so that those are some of our main locations as well

yes yes so when you go to the matchmakers should you be very picky very open how is that being open-minded is just going to open up the possibilities of options for you but we also want to know what's your type who do you typically enjoy being with if religion is important if you know somebody wanting to have children you know we need to know some of the very important kind of deal breakers I want somebody to be like yeah I'm open and then they end then they come to us and I like to know I would never date someone with children I mean we need to know what is very important to people and some things are very important as your Breakers and some things are I'm open with age or or hate or what Malia looks like I mean those types of things I feel like you should be open-minded because you know you're single for a reason

if you're not open-minded and then you may miss the opportunity of meeting somebody that is your perfect fit I don't know how many times I've heard you know not my type and I'm like but he's awesome he's wonderful I really think you guys are going to head off and they meet and then they end up together if you wouldn't have given him the chance or vice versa it would match maker do they have to go through a process of the question year interviews how does that work for you can get that perimeter so we have them fill out a questionnaire on our website and then we have a phone interview either virtual or in person typically of course we like to meet in person but we have done a lot of virtual meetings lately just going to be easier for everyone so then we talk in detail about you know born and raised in starting from the beginning and then going through life and she's really trying to

I know this person past relationship why they failed what they went happened with them and then you know about what they do for work and has travel-wise and what they do for hobbies and interests and activities and things I enjoy doing and then really and detail about the person they're wanting to me I want them to be as detailed as possible I really want somebody that likes to do all the things I do or open-minded to it you know it said those things are important and they want somebody to be able to do all of that tivities with and they would kind of relay that to me so I really get to know people well you know a couple of our interview at least and then as I work with them I get to know them even better but that's kind of how the process would start okay so it's definitely not a 5-minute kind of thing if you guys go deep which is newer

really good yeah I feel like I'm friends with my clients you know I really get to know them and what makes them tick and and what they're looking for I really need to know that so I really feel like a good communication and we don't take on everyone as a client if I didn't feel I can help them or make them nice matches and I wouldn't take him on as a client it's all about you know reputation and if I'm getting that someone then then it looks poorly on on my company and myself and so I really don't know

yeah what is the reasons why you wouldn't take on a client or person isn't ready or whatever the case may be

I may be there very specific and what they're looking for on they it's a very small pool to choose from and I don't think that I could deliver a nice mattress for them I would probably just say somebody has a very specific preferences criteria they're looking for us to age two year aged window and it has to be a doctor and it has to be in a small area of of where they live height preference the more specific it is to be able to match them so you know if I can't make them nice matches and I have people that I think would be appropriate then you know I of course wouldn't take them out of the plant that's why I get to know my clients well even before working with them

LG guys take clients and then when I was looking on that are there are people who may think about doing a matchmaking for the first time yeah we really do have all ages from early to mid-twentieth all the way to 80 and everywhere in between I'm so yeah we have a lot of clients are like you know I'm working hard I'm busy I'm just not able to find the right person for the first time around and then maybe I'm divorced and I had children and I am also busy working hard and I want to find somebody for the second time around or maybe the third time around and across the board

is there a difference when a man comes for matchmaking versus the woman is if there are any kind of difference in that aspect or is it I mean really we work for men and women that come to us and want us to work for them full-time so you know everybody needs needs help and these people that find love and other or companies out there that only work for one or the other and we really do work for everyone men and women and all ages and all different types of people you work with all types of relationships you know there's some yeah

in the sense that the relationships of alternative lifestyles are poly relationships are any of that kind of stuff you know monogamous I'm heterosexual kind of what we have been involved in we have had a lot of people you know reach out that are you know in the gay community and maybe we'll get that you do get there we just don't have the large enough database to be able to you know help outside of right now so I'm assuming you guys keep some kind of Statistics or any of that kind of stuff you December you date for 6 months or longer so yeah most people are pretty serious and they're able to find someone if we work with them

8 out of 10 or so are going to meet someone with that they end up with that is a very good yeah yeah yeah how many matchmakers do you guys have in your actions have about 30 matchmakers of full-time and recruiters that work with us

yeah we didn't have a great day team kind of all over but we work closely together so I can help match people in Miami with my other match makers that work there so we're a big female work together okay okay so sometimes it's a discussion with more than one Matchmaker on if this individual works well in that kind of stuff can all areas to so you might need a Matchmaker that you'd be working with and then we have Recruiters in the area and they would be going out they would be getting referrals from friends or out and about in the community and they would bring people in just to meet with our clients so we have recruiters kind of all over the board to vaccine if you coming you feel a knot in your stuff you talked with the Matchmaker

and she or he gets all your information

and you said way and what happens what happens after that so then he has of clients that I think would be a good fit and see where they're at. See if they might be interested in some of those members that's kind of gives me an idea of a starting point to be able to match that person and then they end up you know joining with Ashley send contract they signed a few no send payment of some kind and we get them started we put together all their information pictures profiles we send over their profile so they can make any changes that they want to. So Wade you know we will be sending out their profile to others and then once we get any kind of changes then we send the information out to the other member once we get approval then we come back to that person and let them know this person is interested are you also interested then once they both say yes then we set up the mat and I'm typically they wanted

set up a notch or we can you know coordinate the date between the two of them for the first date as well then once they meet we typically you know a suggested dinner date for the first date and then we can go to dinner date for the first date dinner date you have a bit of time to get to know each other over a copy of your cocktail date so we just think you know an hour or so at dinner you can get to know each other better over a 20-minute coffee date or something like that but we have different kinds of date what kind of makes sense and you know museums and and all different types of things but typically a first date is is a dinner dates and then once the to meet then they come back to me and give me feedback on what they thought about each other if they liked each other and and we were late feedback as well so I kind of play middle man let both of the other people know

something might have happened if the other person was interested or not interested so I can kind of be that fly on the wall and let my client know ya she'd love to see you again or you know he would love to see you again and kind of coordinate and let that person know you know sometimes a first date you don't know how the other person was feeling you don't know if they were interested or being polite so I can kind of relay those helpful tips to which is nice I'm yeah you should call her again you should ask her out again or you know maybe she wasn't near that interested and let's work on something else. So after that first date and you're like my gosh this you know is going to call me or die like they get a chance to talk with you process

you know how did that day feel and stuff or anything you can actually relay or help the in-between that what you're saying that they both let me know how it went and and there has been times where she's like well he was nice I don't know and I was like well he would love to take you out again if you're interested it was just a first date and some of his first date awkward family is not on their very best behavior they they might have not been themselves completely so maybe give it a second chance at you don't know how many times I push somebody into a second date and they ended up with that person because you know First Dates is like an interview you're nervous and I'm not quite yourself so it's nice to be able to relay. B. Help them out or let them know yeah you know they weren't really feeling it let's move on to something else and then you'll have to waste your time you know messaging and

hearing back and wondering and those types of things yes it does. You mentioned that gas and first aid he barely said anything until people get nervous and so he's hiding like we'll keep an eye out for

myself I thought that was a little rude and I'm sad all go back to him and let him know and then that can be helpful for him and there's dating future like I asked more about you instead of just letting you asked me about your question then sometimes you don't realize you're doing it you know that they're the talkative ones you're a little bit Shyer but then you got to step up your game and you got it you got you know got it come off a little bit more interested maybe in the sense that you're doing it don't get from if you would just regular you know if they're dating

rather than you may not ever get feedback and if you didn't hear from the person you're like I wonder why I wonder if something happened so it's kind of nice to get that feedback me almost feel like we're friends introducing our friends together we'll just move on from here but it is nice I mean if I were dating I would appreciate you know the feedback and let somebody thoughts and and you know helping me out if maybe I wasn't interested or I was interested in the Matchmaker can you date outside of that also there was a question from one of our viewers

some of our clients date out outside of of who we are matching them do they come across somebody and they want to take them out early we just do kind of one match at a time we wouldn't invest your time in that person see how it goes I mean you know if you're coming to us we think it's because you really want to find the right person and settled down so we don't make multiple matches at one time we really want you to go out with someone we uphold time for that reason that if you like someone you can place your membership on hold you can see how it goes with that person really can you invest a lot of your energy or time into multiple people at once not so much so we really feel like meet someone see how it goes if you want to see in odate a few trying to see how it goes at person if it goes somewhere wonderful you can freeze your membership I'm going to get gas and then we'll work on something new for you so really we just make one mashed really quality over quantity

you know as well and we have another question there wondering if they live in a small area and there's not that much selection are people in the matchmaking but are they willing to travel to meet someone

I typically we suggest you know the person that were matching go to meet in a specific area so let's just say I have somebody in a smaller area and they want to travel to one of the larger populated area to meet people we wouldn't fly out at that Mass to meet that person but we would suggest that they were already traveling to a specific area let's say la or Miami or New York or something already going to be there and then we can let that person know okay this is where they live they come out you know maybe on a regular basis I would get all that detail for them but I would be upfront and honest if they don't live local and it be coming out on a regular basis that we do have clients that travel to meet people

okay good can you tell us a one of your successful stories of an example of the clients that I have some not do much making successful drive into you know a lot of weddings and I've had a lot of engagements and then special people meet through my help but when one match they were in two different states and I kind of had to push her to meet him because I'm like you know he can live anywhere and he would live anywhere and I just I had a feeling a gut feeling that they would be a good fit and I had to push her into meeting him and I bet you know she's going to she's going to be in LA this weekend I would just love you to meet him in person and see if she's like Tammy okay I trust you let's do this so they met and they both called me the next day oh my gosh I am so excited and like I told you I told you

I don't believe I've ever since they're planning on getting married and having a family and and all of it so I was like you know I still I still tell her if it wasn't for me pushing you you would have never met him so you know I love that you have just an idea that something will work it a gut feeling and and then it works out but I really had to push it and I'm glad I did and I'm glad she said yes and you know they've been happy together for the last 2 years so you because you're an expert in this field yeah and you develop it for so so many years how do you start matching people what's what's the first thing that comes up with you have a feeling it just when somebody goes into detail about themselves and really and detail about the person they're wanting to meet and what's important to them and you know what they like

and what their hobbies are and what they're into and and then I get a good feeling of knowing everyone personally I feel would be a good fit for that person because I know the winning who's playing in the men's personally and then I really have a feeling up to people that might be a good fit because I know what they're looking for 2 so I it's just it's a feeling and then also I want those people be excited too and it didn't all those types of things so I always run profiles and photos by all my clients but most the time I'm I'm pretty right on I mean if I send over a few profiles are there typically like yeah those all look wonderful to me and then you know it's sometimes it takes some time to meet the one chemistry wise and all of that but usually have a pretty good feeling and I'm pretty right on about you know attraction wise and and and things in common

nose types of things and then really meeting in person and chemistry you know you can't I can't do that for my clients but but you know most of the time they're like attracted and I went on second day and then maybe you know it's Staples out and then we work on something new and send them to take the bit of time somebody's in the house you know right off the bat and it takes you know 68710 either to find the one and really it's just meeting people that you feel are appropriate and then you know a hopefully eventually finding the one that the others connection and chemistry and all those that something right I would have never thought my husband's business owner and I'm a business owner and I didn't really realize how important that connection

is and how understanding that when you have your own business and buy you stuff that happened yes yes yes but I would have never thought about how I was doing online dating you say that I just yeah yeah yeah I think that I really truly value sometimes people don't know what's truly important to them and what their values are 10 years ago to your dating now and you might be looking for different things you don't even know you you need to be looking for her yes definitely yes we're going to take love for you to tell the audience about a late connections and how they can sign up and get involved

so I'm Tammy pickle I am VPN partner Valley connections and we're a high-end matchmaking agency we have thousands of clients and we can help anyone anywhere and if you're single and interested and you know really want to meet quality professionals that are looking to meet the right person contact us with a very large team of matchmakers that would love to help you and talk with you and interview you and really get to know you better and our website is Elite and you can contact us at 800-923-4200 and my email is Tammy Tammy Lee I would love to talk to you more and talk to you about making you some my Snapchat I think it was like definitely sharing that information with that will now and I'll a statement out to box where we give some tips out and so since you're an expert Matchmaker I would like for you to give him some day

if you are out there listening like I'm not sure how to do any of this

just be

about who you're looking for and the possibilities of searching for someone you know just be open-minded somebody ask you to do something say yes nobody asked you to go out say yes you know just look different Avenues of meeting someone you know nothing will change if you don't make a change if you are wanting to meet someone but you don't ever make an effort at word or try something different or try something new that nothing will change you know it is very important because I know people are out there today but they're not they work all the time and they're not doing anything different different say yes to a charity event with you no friends look into things in your community just get out there and it's and try to enjoy life and have fun on your your time off and

weekends you know take up a new hobby if you've been wanting to learn something or golf or tennis you know you can meet people in your community doing different things that kind of outside of your comfort zone and you know just just be open minded if somebody ask you out your life just friends you know I make a form a new connection you never know who you can meet through that person you then I'm making friendships with people or you know being positive and really at internally happy I have I have a lot of clients that kind of feel almost a little bit desperate to find someone you know really just be internally happy with your life and your career and the way you look in the way you feel you know I want to lose 10 PS3 just do it let's do it let's be internally happy and then then we will find someone you know not needing somebody

pictures of Bill you or make you happy really just being internally happy and with your life and where you are in life and then you know someone with just the icing on the cake you know not needing someone to fulfill you or to be whole you don't go getting to know people giving them a chance you know I I don't know how many times I I hear wasn't really my type on a first date you know people grow on you you know the people become you connect with people and you you find things in common after more than an hour date you know if somebody's really trying with you and maybe give him a second chance maybe go out again do you know really just give that as some energy could happen because I hear it all the time just I don't I don't think so I wasn't really feeling it well maybe if they're focused on you and they're really giving you a lot of your your time

are there any you know if you like someone show them you like them you don't play the games and all that like just make time for people here so many times I've been so busy that you know I can make the time will then so we really focus and give them to your energy and give them your time and make some phone calls and send them a text and let people know you you know you're thinking of them and you want to see them weekly or every other week or whatever I'm just really give something your all and show them that you your you one of progressing this is one of the things someone mentioned before to me and which I started doing when I was wrapping dating is you should start to live your life as if you had someone

you know what I'm saying so if you like oh my gosh I really like the one to go to the park where they're to the beach but you just sit at home and you never go wait thank you but do you bet you never know yes yeah because you want to be in movement when a person comes they can live with you not for that person to pull you off the couch and you don't always go out looking and feeling you're very fast cuz you never know you know when you're going to run into somebody I I I know a lot of single people and they're they're going out there yoga clothes in their hair all crazy like you do you want to meet someone you never know it could be dropping off your kids it could be going to the grocery store you just never know and if you feel like a million bucks then you're going to attract people that way so that's why you no more advice for like you no communication you want something from someone you want to hear from somebody more you like somebody do you want to go out with some

family to let them know I'd love to see you this weekend are you arrest don't always wait for them or texting you multiple times a day you let somebody know nobody can read your mind just like in in friendships or or family member relationship need to let somebody know how you're feeling and what you need from them and what you want from them because so many relationships can be stop a charge because I'm I'm thinking one thing and she's not you no understanding what I need and I'm not letting him know I'm so then I write him off and and you know I could Salvage died and it's if I let him know in and shut them up to the place and and possibly give me what I needed but I definitely agree with that but you've got to be able to vocalize in all aspects of your relationship from the beginning

early about self-awareness is I think it's really important yes and like you said get out there and try something in the end when I looked and thought about the whole night changes I've been fired by don't like it around and so when you get out of me try and it was great so I'm glad that you mention about their things are getting people a chance and going out there and doing something I'm trying but that's really definitely employed and bean open

dance it get a concealed little bit of practice you know if I am out of the dating game you're nervous about it sometimes it's just getting out there and going on some dates and talking with some people and they get more confidence in you build and then you're able to you know me more people or or you you're just you know you trying to get better at it it's just so you know it's the confidence of of walking with you know the opposite sex and and just getting out there and feeling you know just better about who you are and dating and meeting people and you know cuz he find that some people get stuck in in the looks you find the people get stuck in chest

yeah yeah definitely be all the time changes over time is very important about you no common interest in hobbies and ya don't just think about the age like oh I'm only dating two years older than me or someone that's 6 foot or he's got to look a certain way you know be open-minded because you know that person you're looking for might not be all those things on your checklist so just you know be open to someone outside of your checklist cuz you never know and and you know you want to grow old with somebody when I have connection you have a foundation a friendship that. Those things I think are more important then you know what he looks like or what she looks like and and just being more open to to all different types

like you're saying is talking about looking at people inside and their values that is really important and that aspect yeah I would love to thank you so much for being on the show yes if anyone's interested in finding more information about Tammy pick up a check her in her company I delete her email is Tammy I delete they have an 800 number like you like you said they have officers ride in the yard I'm California Florida International

did I miss any of the other big cities Arizona Vegas Colorado

and they have lots of people in your database and their 800 number is 893-4200 and you can check them out on Facebook they also have a Facebook and it's a late connections matchmakers and of course she has her on Facebook I can't make piccalilli connection thank you so much Tammie for being in the show of your welcome back at any time and I really do appreciate it and for all of listeners on thank you guys for listening and if you're thinking about dating definitely check her out and you can check out on my Counseling Services if you're interested at WWE dr. brown people Brown. Calm and if you're interested about the podcast please follow us because I'll give us your feedback with the bring it back you can find us on any of the podcast things that you thank you

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