Skip to main content

Bringing Intimacy Back, June 18, 2020

Show Headline
Bringing Intimacy Back
Show Sub Headline
with Dr. April Brown and guests Seneca Williams and Jaekilla Walls

Bringing Intimacy Back with Dr. April Brown and guests Seneca Williams and Jaekilla Walls

Guest, Seneca Williams

Guest Name
Seneca Williams
Seneca Williams
Guest Biography

Seneca Williams, LMHC is an online therapist and international professional coach, with an online practice established in 2015. In 2009, Seneca took a courageous leap of faith, to change careers from law to psychology. People told her it would be hard, being a single mother at 28, raising her 3-year-old daughter. But she overcame anxiety, depression, and career challenges. She was able to turn her career into the established online business it is today. As a mental health advocate, she volunteers her time to various mental health causes. She also speaks and writes, promotes mental health wellness for professionals and entrepreneurs.

 

Bringing Intimacy Back

Bringing Intimacy Back with Dr April Brown and Dr Kelly
Show Host
Dr April Brown

As we look around in this world today, it seems we are becoming more disconnected from one another, even though we have the technology to connect to more and more people than ever before. Furthermore, the lack of intimacy (in its many forms) is one of the top three reasons why relationships struggle and many times end.

Thus the Bringing Intimacy Back talk show is a show dedicated to inspire, enlighten, and encourage intimate connections. This show provides an engaging atmosphere to discuss and demonstrate ways to enhance intimacy in one’s personal relationships with significant others, families, friends, Higher Power, and oneself. The show will discuss intimate connections in many different forms, such as sex, communication, emotional, physical, health, and spiritual. In fact, research has shown that as we increase our intimate connection with ourselves, our Higher Power, and others.  It will help decrease the conflicts, anxiety, and depression in our lives.

THE MISSION

Increasing intimacy for all has become Dr. April’s mission. The mission statement of the show is to provide an atmosphere to discuss and demonstrate ways to increase closeness in one’s personal relationships with significant others, families, friends, Higher Power, and oneself. Therefore, Dr. April started in February 2018 to host her own new Radio/TV Show Bringing Intimacy Back where she and other intimacy experts will provide resources and tips on increasing intimacy in all types of relationships. Audience members will be able to transform their relationships through relationship experts’ insights, useful and practical resources, role-playing, and audience participation. The show’s goal is to show its audience members that intimacy can be alive and real in the relationships we desired.

0 Following
Show Transcript (automatic text 90% accurate)

feeling lost and alone looking for validation from your partner only to find the feeling of rejection and continued frustration your together yet so far apart now your frustration is turned into disdain and resentment your insecurities have begun to affect every aspect of your life ironically you have now become the cold and detached one shooting yourself from the uncertainties of your relationships dr. April Brown has created bring intimacy back a series of discussions that are designed to help you reclaim what you have lost along the way dr. April will help you ReDiscover and reconnect to the intimate relationship your heart so desires go to www. Bringing intimacy back. Come today and let the healing begin

a book into the bring intimacy back show where intimacy is real on this show we ain't to help you and Christian to make connections with your significant other children family business direct Community queer and your higher power we give you the secret power to intimacy to create a life you love love the life you create and so on today so our topic today is being printing in discovering your new career with a passion for 5 tips of fulfilling a career makeover it's so important in the sense of I believe that we were more than we do anything else and I'm one who had to recreate my own career and so I am honored to have not only is she up every time it create their business but she's also a wonderful person and she's also become a friend of mine that I've known for a few years so I would like to hear course welcome Seneca Road

welcome Seneca

hello everyone Hi. Safe wrote thank you for having me. You look fabulous as well let me tell you a little bit about her she's an online therapist and international professional coach with an online practice 6th a bleach since 2015 and 2009 he took the greatest leap of faith to change career so she was actually in a locked and so she changed it to psychology people told her it'd be hard and possible because he singles you think of mother is a three-year-old but she overcame Outback you know and she overcame anxiety depression and she was able to turn her career and takes tablets online business that is possible and that is help and that it is today and after 10 years of supporting hundreds of clients and Behavioral Health she recognized the blue and what we call women entrepreneurs cuz she's up Fabolous entrepreneur

she's identified mini deal with a lot of us with business anxiety what we do what you know all this kind of stuff so she has created in 2020 in this year I think I'll conquer network if the premier membership Network addressing entrepreneurship in emotional Wellness Center cuz it's realized the same connection between an entrepreneur success to her emotional Wellness which is not always address in many traditional you know business coaching thing and that's a mental health Advocate she volunteers her time to various Mental Health Congress and she also speaks and writes about mental health Wellness professionals and entrepreneurs and today first time ever that I've done in my show she's actually going to help a young lady and we're going to talk to her a little bit about her name is Makayla walls and I'm going to talk a little bit about her in a little later but she's going to on The Today Show help her so you guys can see how she can use

skills and talents to help you overcome any challenges in for those people who out there who want to be a successful entrepreneur

thank you so much that was a great introduction thank you so much

yeah so that was just a little bit about your background and we have similar backgrounds that since I'm going from one Crest to the next but tell me first and tell me how because we're also in this covid-19 and everything going on in your life right now how are you doing

that is one of those questions that is so loaded these days because of all the things going on not only dealing with cold it but also being a therapist in this time is it it has been interesting and very challenging dealing with going through things with your client at the same time like so I tell people while your clients were going out looking for toilet paper you were also doing the same thing that the second time has been challenging in itself and then right now what's going on in the environment you know what the unrest the social unrest in the protest navigating and dealing with bat also expired at the same time it has been challenging personally in my own life you know just been trying to balance because there's been a lot of burnout I had an influx of afros more than I've ever had in my time practicing and dealing with family member

and homeschooling my daughter is the last year of 8th grade so just trying to make sure she finished graduate and then you know personally I have lost some family members I lost a family member two weeks ago and then one last night thank you so much for being here but yeah that is very challenging to get so overwhelmed and even as an entrepreneur cuz we have to work work work yeah yeah I see how are you making sure that self care

so I've adjusted my schedule it is very important that people know that whatever you were doing pre covid maybe you can't manage that same schedule now so you have to adjust that schedule so I have been managing my schedule by you know either starting my days later so I have my first client at the same time or ending my day earlier and then also making sure I have lots of time in between my my morning sessions and my evening sessions I have a block in between for us stuff going on right now with grease all over the place yes that's what I'll be definitely praying for you and your family thank you why are you so passionate about

clear and helping people do things and change their careers and all that kind of stuff

that is a great question and

I thought about it from my perspective why it was so important to me

personally and then why would be so important for others to then you know approach it to find their career and end and find a business for me personally it was important for me to find a career that was fulfilling to me because I noticed when I was going to work I spelled burned-out I would feel sad I felt unmotivated I would have been so depressed when I was going into jobs that I didn't like and I had this desire inside of me I remember my twenties were like this extremely difficult time because I was like what is my purpose why am I here what am I supposed to be doing and I don't know some people can just go to a job and then I called just get a paycheck but I needed more than that I needed to love what I was doing I needed to enjoy it I need it to be happy on Monday morning that was for you to love Monday

so when I think about what that was going on psychologically you might have heard of you know this is Alyssa knows you might have heard of the hierarchy of needs Maslow give me so why you no doctor in April we have this term and maybe people have seen it where we have levels of things that are important to us so why don't you know it's our physiological needs our clothing shelter that our safety and belonging as we go up we get to self actualization right that is when we find the things that make us both feel so on that hierarchy of needs I wanted to go to the top it wasn't enough for me to just get a paycheck or you're okay I wanted to reach my Highest Potential

yes that's what many people want and that's what I want to help them do you tell us a little bit about from working with client after client at the client and I realized I'm answering the same questions and I'm helping them work through the same feeling many of them for dealing with business anxiety anxiety anxiety of people know it's like you have excessive worry about something something is out of your control you have a hard time with uncertainty or maybe physically you feel nervous you might notice your heart beating and all these things I realize some people only experience that when they were working on their business avoidance they would go into excessive worry about am I going to mess up am I going to make a mistake and my what their careers right they wouldn't change jobs they wouldn't apply for different things

get that promotion go for that you know opportunity to be the manager because they were dealing with anxiety around like that level up the network is really group coaching monthly I mean not monthly weekly group coaching in a monthly membership so they can taste in every month to be a part of this network where they're going to not only have group coaching with me but also bringing other experts to help them with other areas of their lifestyle because as you know dr. April if you have issues in your relationship going to affect your career it's going to affect your business relationship how do you go ahead and brand yourself all these things so monthly they can pay into that and then learn all of these skills and work on their emotions and their entrepreneur

awesome yes and that is exactly what's needed especially in today's world and I'm with Coco bread with black lives movement a lot of entrepreneurs entrepreneurs and if your mom you know we have so much stress going on right now as you know so yeah yeah I don't have it that supports if them especially like you said the young lady we're trying to talk to I believe this is dumb chords younger than mean in the maybe 20 to 30. Yeah the struggles that we happened just trying to

it's something out the ground or even when something's out the ground a business is like I think it's like a baby

yes I agree yeah cell requires a lot of nurturing but you also need support so I applied you and thank you so much about creating that out there for our listeners are four people were wanting to have more about that as you talk a little bit more about that I'm the what is the first step and thinking about a new career

the first step is usually not what people think about what the first step is why I usually ask people why do you want to change your career why you want this career like I asked them why sometimes people are just like I don't like my job I don't get along with my coworkers I actually go a step further than a traditional career coach and I look for the emotional reasons behind why they want that new career that is what's going to keep you going if you have a really solid and strong why you want to paint 3 years or why you want that career it's going to be like a strong Foundation to build a so you have to be very clear and have clarity about this if you don't know why you're doing something it's going to fall apart when the challenges come or when you get confused or when you get frustrated

okay wonderful yes and so I'm looking to take a short break when we come back we have a young lady coming on and she is looking at a career choice and definitely the most important I'd like you said it's like the why so we're going to talk about that and I just sent her background and you can provide some resources for her that would be great we're going to take a short break but when we come back, can you get into meeting Browns and help out this young lady as much as possible

during this difficult time that we are all facing

how many people are in need of someone to talk to when option is speaking to a therapist to express your anxieties if you're feeling isolated or just need someone that will listen and help you with coping skills to get through

dr. April Brown is now accepting new clients and is working with her existing clients through distance video counseling the services are through a secure online HIPAA based practice management platform called Simple practice this technology can provide a secure two-way interactive video counseling session over the internet

for more information about video counseling please email dr. April Brown at info at dr. April Brown

dot-com or you may call 239-565-6921 thank you and remember we are all in this together

tequila are you still there yes okay yes okay so can you share with us a little bit about yourself like you said I was born and raised in Fort Myers been here all my life basically unfortunately as of recently I'm kind of having to struggle with career choices and whatnot I found this opportunity a coincidence because I was just minding my business and having a hard time picking from different careers in and out back and forth and then this came up and I also would like to give a shout out to for Sean Parker

for making this happen have a heart of gold and everything and we're bringing me closer to you guys to get the help that you what question do you have for a clear

I'm kind of struggling with that right now I just recently left the game care so now I'm kind of just kind of figuring out which direction to go from here

I have definitely been there and I want to make sure I'm saying your name right jakeila yes I have definitely been there sometimes I work with clients that are you you're a cage and I wish I could go back in time and tell my 22 year-old sounds like you're going to be all right it's going to be fine you know it's very important that you understand from your development may not be what we were taught in school you went to school and conditioned to believe that you need to know what you're going to be when you grow up for the rest of your life and you make that decision before you're 18 do not agree with that was thinking that you need to know exactly what you want to do with your whole life by 18 but you do need to know what your values are what kind of lifestyle you want to live you sound like you would like to leave New York I I read a little bit about you you like to be able to travel and move around and see different things so all of these things are factored into your career.

as well as what you learn from your upbringing in your environment what you learn from your family about for your development for all these things come into play what you are developing your career traditionally people tell you you have to know what your skills are or your personality and then match it to a job so just go and they give you these assessments people might be familiar with the Myers-Briggs assessment are you familiar with people doing these career assessments tequila I've never even heard of it okay alright people give you these tests and if they do these tests and once you finish the test it and tell you what you should be like a personality test

yeah so you know is it doesn't factor in who you are janckila you're the cultural components what it means to be a woman all these different things maybe your Current financial situation so the important thing is going back to what I said earlier was why do you want to change careers or why do you want to choose a career is very important thinking about why I want to do that but just curious you recently were pursuing a certain right about that what makes you think your mind will ever since I got this full-time job I was thinking what I'm not on my feet at the moment and every time I think about academic I get exhausted from institutions and stuff like that back and forth

three different occasions where I went to three different colleges so I don't dare to be pretty draining and like you said the career choices I don't like to go into work feeling like I'm just there for paycheck or just to meet friends alone and things like that or if I'm miserable and I don't like certain body like that I wanted to go into work. I'm actually enjoyed doing that might be able to have stability and then and I'm slipping I can reflect on that you know I can share with other people you will be drained if you don't have clarity about what it is that you're doing why did you choose that track makeup and skincare

it's something I wash my mom to take pictures but I've had a variety of different things that I loved don't actually going to school for you no more people different times and I decided now that that wasn't going to be yet psychology called you was born as well make the counseling makeup artist photography it's just so many things to go through and I'm just having a spell that passing it I don't think that I realized I think it's something that I enjoy doing on my free time but not something that you know it screams my name you know

I totally understand and I want to tell you this janckila what you're saying about your career situation right now sounds very much like what I experienced in my early 20s colleges about three or four times a day probably about four times it was very very emotional because I was at why can't I just figure it out like some other people but like you said you saw someone in your family doing this so you came up with that idea what I know is for many people when it comes to what they finally choose to do for their career it really has always been with. It's something that they don't even think about it's so natural to them that they didn't think that they could turn that into a career

mention psychology and mental health

yeah that was just one of them that I went to school for and I'm just like

you know I'm hearing people talk about the experiences and stuff like that and I kind of I think that's the part of me that kind of just

you know so as far as dealing with the aftermath the toll like you say to try to balance and things like that. I feel like I don't have that down to my own life to call about other people's lives out on thinking why not try something different we don't have to you know if you don't mix those if it's one of those two together where you are in life is important as I said earlier there's a hierarchy of needs so if you are currently feeling like I'm not completely stable it's going to be really hard to get to that top of that triangle of the hierarchy of needs so you're right it is important that you feel stable and secure with your basic needs that was a mess but there's the other thing I wrote this down learning theory of John from Humboldt is a Serie of career counseling that possible happenstance and many of us come to our career choice by happened

I trying out different things you were interested in to realize that is not the same for us

and that's okay

and sometimes we worry about what other people going to think about me that I don't know until I was twenty-eight made that decision that I'm going to assume before that I wanted to be an attorney and I made a lot of career decisions based on money how much is paid or based on what other people were telling me I should do or what I put the track and I wasn't a line with who I was and what I really enjoyed you even getting paid what do you enjoy doing even if no one pays you just do it

makeup like I enjoyed doing it but like I said was academic some things like that not wanting to bring myself further more I decided to focus on post I'm working till I get back to sylheti and if I decide to go back then I go back on to something else along the way like I have biohazard cleanup I know it's weird that I go from you know what is the range of the levels and things like that but that was one of my options as well which academically wouldn't take as much loan at our put me in that thing thing so that's another big factor why I kind of left alone for a little bit okay there's nothing weird about it we working okay me what I am today and figuring it out I would say is about a 10-year window I'm not going to have to be a senior with them for you it wouldn't send your window for me

and I got a Bachelor's degree in Psychology in 2000 and I think one or two and it was a big gap between getting a master's in 2012 so between that time I wasn't pursuing psychology in my mind I thought I don't really want to do that it doesn't really pay I don't think I wanted to it so it's actually okay to take a detour and do some exploratory the career counseling theories that I believe in are the ones that encourage exploration and right now what you need to be doing early exploration is doing research you might even talk to people in certain industry and do what I call informational interviews

were you just asking hey what is it that you do how do you do it and people don't know that you can do that you can contact someone on LinkedIn or you someone in your network and just interview them about their career break time to do some exploration especially things are up and running completely 100% this is a great time to make yourself over

in 2008 when I made myself over it was at the time of a reception in the US for right now what do you think are your challenges are limit in finding your career or making yourself over just from the time I was in high school to get into college the only thing I really knew about myself at the time was I had to be different from my family I had to go to college at to do that to that and there was really no one in my ears encourage me or to tell me what does watch out for myself you know difference

is are decided to give some more time to find me of all people you know but I'm now seeing it like I really didn't need it

you're absolutely right you need supportive networks and you can find that in different ways you can find that from getting a cold

finding a mentor is finding someone that you already know that is you know successful and doing the things that you are interested in doing and helps having this person help you and be your work be a cheerleader give you information along way what many of us don't real especially as women that we don't have to choose this or that it doesn't have to be all or nothing

opportunity to grow and develop I don't know how familiar you are of the late Maya Angelou

are you familiar with anything in my envelopes career forestry that was because I had a liking for myself so

Mary Poppins the only thing that she's done they think she's just a poet but if you were to go and look at her her lifetime she's had many different careers she was A Streetcar driver San Francisco he was a dancer is a calypso singer she was his many different things over the over the course of her lifetime

evolve and develop so right now the main thing is thinking of your first next best step

your first next bus back for your first next best step could be I need to get myself stable and I need to do some research on different careers what do you want your next best step to be

I would have to say maybe like a possible for like a body Caroline things like that body you know body butter body lotion and eventually expanding upon their okay so right now do you know anybody that is doing that

I do not I do my own research on it I look for free courses online to study the formulation how to create and the business aspect as well so I don't have too many support like I said as far as someone telling me which direction I should go in it's something I kind of look for myself or free online on YouTube videos or from a business aspect of a professional by with someone to tell me this when I was younger but there was no one to tell me cuz I didn't have that support there is formal education which is going to college but informal education means finding someone to teach you what is it you want to do so if that's what you want to learn about I'm sure there are people out there that can teach you about that kind of business that kind of career how to get into it how to make money in it

and it's not like you to find those people that can men for you coach you that have to break programs on that whatever it is that we are interested in it probably exists out there so where would you start

what's my soul especially my kind of environment things like that I think those have a big factor on whether I should start now or wait a little later so I'm stable enough space

because I'm the type of environment that I grew up and always been you know it's there where you know I'm always focus on other people and what will make them happy but not what would make me so happy or you know there's no encouragement as far as go for it you know or rooting for me

this is so important and this is the emotional component mental health component of it if you're not feeling sexual

if you're not feeling supported if you're not feeling confident in yourself that I have to focus on my personal development so I get to this place of feeling confident in my choices and moving forward that I'm pursuing the support network that really helped me to get there sometimes you think of Career Development & Business Development and it really starts with a q

how does that sound to kila the little Rebel the one water everywhere

able to relate with someone after

strike the weather outside going this direction going that direction would like for me to do or see myself doing them see myself doing that creates a lot of confusion to be honest with you it's the reason why I kept trying to do what I thought maybe my parents would agree with or what other people read and approve of and I was looking for validation outside of myself

you have to get to this place where I validate I have to live this life I have to show up to this place every day right I have to pay my bill

so I think you know where you need to start is with making sure that you're secure in your personal growth in your personal development and then your next step is your exploration and is not like a failure you know we we have to get over this this relationship with failure failure is bad failure is death information there's a great book by John Maxwell called spelling for all about how do you use a lawyer to protect you bored sometimes it's redirecting you don't work out that means okay I'm going to try this way it's an experiment right bra one didn't work out okay trial 2

do you have a hard time with failure

a good point guard in the word along with me excited so

it gives a lot of people in society no one likes to fail they don't like how it feels but again that's very emotional has been associated with many people or write the timeline putting things on a time I whether I need to get things done at this age

failure in my mind worrying

yeah so you don't need to worry about those things right what other people think about my feelings none of my business and I'm not going to lie to you I cared about that I was like I told everybody I was going to be a lawyer

and now I'm I'm not it's not happening and I was worried where they going to stay and now when I bring that up people like I don't even remember that we're going to be a lawyer you wanted to go to that lot like I want to be a psychologist now I'm going to cake bakery doing something like they're like what are you doing like

how do you go from this to that about Maya Angelou and she's not the only one there so many like that are you from Arthur the best know that she was a professor

iyanla VanZant was an attorney now she's fixing people's lives on own so don't worry about what the other people are thinking this all starts and ends with you

focus on your personal development do your research and start the exploration process

that's really

getsupport sometimes you might need to take that money that you were going to pay for a program like a institution and pay a code or pay somebody that's going to help you and train you and what you want to do the YouTube videos and the free webinars are great but they can only take you so far

got it

so you have a bit of a plan right and I will leave you with this one thing that's very important track the journey start taking a career journal and start tracking your journey

start writing down your goals and your dreams and the lifestyle that you want your ideal lifestyle is your ideal lifestyle to travel is it to move all of these things also can influence the career that you choose

April how are we doing good yes I definitely agree with you in the sense of maybe here doing some resources and and researching and support system because that's really imperative even in my own I was actually an accountant before I became a therapist and yeah and I just volunteered at the shelter and then I end up realizing that I can't like this feeling that's how I into this right here so it's just about to researching and also support system is really critical and I do know that it's really

even in today's was hard to trust different people to ask for help and stuff however if the first person says no you keep going you just continue to go and go and you'll find someone to sit and help you and stuff and I love how you put about dealing with failure because we have to tell you to give us an option but that didn't work out so let me see what I can speak and move on to something else

yeah and it's all a journey and enjoying the process

yes and I think I know it's Olivehurst have been when I was going through this I was a single mom trying to raise a little one didn't know how that was going to going to happen to workout or whatever but the sacrifice that I put in myself and improving myself actually end up making her life better

you know so it's okay to invest in yourself

does that make sense yeah yeah that's that's important yeah yeah and if you have people that don't support you don't let it get up in your head there yeah got to keep moving forward

yes definitely yes sir thank you so much do you have any further questions for us I do not appreciate you guys for bringing me for giving me this chance we'll keep in touch I'm definitely with me and let me know how you're doing and if you need any mentoring or whatever I can. I'm definitely I'm available to do that okay okay thank you so much thank you definitely

so I talked about so much great stuff and now I'm going to take a short break and I would like you on this short break to tell us a little bit more about what you do and I'm about your services and how people can reach out to you

so I am a licensed mental health counselor I'm an online therapist for career Panera's and entrepreneurs and I support them in various mental health disorders but primarily a lot of anxiety depression stress management and life transition as it relates to working and developing business is so as we talked about earlier in addition to doing online therapy I also started an online membership Network so that I can work with groups because I realized that there were this influx right of women entrepreneurs in the past few years which you may have seen dr. April many people may have seen that there's like every other person seems like they're entrepreneur because there has been a boom in women entrepreneurship so you know I definitely support women in their emotional transition and they can find me on social media has asked coats and they can find me at Seneca williams.com if they're looking to ask any question about

play start what's their first move even if I'm not the person that can help you or support you you I will direct you in the right direction so you can find the person or the thing that to me

thank you so much yes and I'm as you were saying and when I was hearing one time like women entrepreneurs it's in the fastest-growing entrepreneurship yeah yeah so now with everything going on it's really great that you're doing at Concord Network as a support group. So it's our listeners are out there listening and I know I talked to get Spike tips for fulfilling career makeover

what's that about what is number temple number one

I can't hear you it's okay. Just as I was telling RJ Killa we have to start with access mint but we think what is traditional assessments like these personality inventories and when I say assessment I'm talking about yourselves right and we actually kind of just did it an assessment which Aquila where she realize what she needs she needs support emotional needs you know information she needs these things so it's assessing where you are where you are but she wrote this down to make sure I don't miss anything so assessment is looking at your skills your values your lifestyle your personality is assessing all of these things because they are very important the next thing is research so you may need to do some research where you are thinking about what is the career requirements for that specific career what is the outlook on that career so many things right now becoming digital

and we have to be careful that the careers that we are choosing we have to see where it's going not where it is now but where is it going and that's how you choose your career another thing is the career salary right so you want to find out what is the medium salary and where does that salary chop you know what's the top of that sound was the high point because that's important as you grow as you get older you mature you might feel different about a salary at at 52 than you do at 22 bus in Porton to look at these projections and see where things are going where did you find that information you find that information going to Department of Labor called Elders glassdoor.com that shows you salaries and things like that but you know just USA Department of Labor different careers and it can tell you the outlook for them and the projections

okay yeah so you can actually start this research on your own or depending on where you're located I know I'm in Florida now but when I was in New York there was actually a library that was focused on Career Development and business. If you can't find that place then you can find a section of your library that focuses on careers and business has a lot of options so we're all in different situations and it's very important that we understand that an eighteen-year-old choosing a career that is single with no children is very different from a woman that's 25 and single with children right so you might have to look at your options can I afford formal education do I need for more education for the career change that I have I want sometimes you may not need to go back for a degree that's why you're going to do that

search you may didn't get any formal training you might be able to find someone that can just teach you how to do certain things and give you experience it at so once you do that research you know do I have to have a degree to do this thing right now there is people who are web developers and you not know this doctor April I don't want to ask you your age but once upon a time if you were doing web sites or anything technical Apple Computers you have to have a degree right right now now you don't have to have to figure out what your options do I have to do this order and then once you evaluate then you look at your resume right if you're going to start going out there and applying for things either programs or jobs or internships look at your resume resume

and you're going to be looking to see what things you need to update your going to see what a transferable skill you have what would still come from one thing that you can use in another career and you're going to want to look at your personal branding this is something that other candidates what sets you apart from this African or that African right so it's looking at if you are a web developer right are you aware helper for authors and speakers or your web developer for corporate Corporation are you available for athletes write personal brand and it helps you to stand out and it's something that we weren't taught in high school or even just so you know

Gildan that yourself then you can take a workshop over a course or hire someone to do your resume for you those people resume writers then the next thing is on the exploration right so sometimes people think there's a one-and-done I'm just going to get this career get this job and that's it but sometimes you might start that track like I start I was a paralegal I was applying for law school and you I wanted to be an attorney but when I was working in these offerings I realize this is not it is it wasn't me so what I started doing was volunteering so I went to different places to volunteer I also in turn and I also did something called informational interviewing so I will contact people at various places I did a lot of networking and I say hey can I

good time to talk about what you do and how you do it do you like it what things did you have to do to get this career did you have to get a degree and I so informational interviewing and it would just kind of like move me along my journey so if I was going this way and I did these information interviews and volunteer I will be able to find out this is not necessary and then I will be able to change tracks queso assessment research evaluate resume revamp and exploration amazing awesome and I definitely agree and I was just thinking when I did like you said it's really good to volunteer cuz I'd help me actually decide on a career but also doing internship I did an internship on a Disney World when I was watching thought I was going to be a banker but and Dylan working at Disney while you siding like it's much money so all these little things just really really help

and creating and finding a career in that kind of stuff when you talk about assessing and I agree with you it's more than just your skills and scalloping your value system and what you believe in and stuff is there a a good thing that you know that the online or something and to help people think when I'm assessing I don't even know how to accept myself you know what I'm saying

I will be honest with you from the way that I work I don't use the online assessment they exist right

I tell people to go inward into thinking about what they think is important to them what they say the filling to them and tell people to start writing and start journaling what is my career development happen because I kept a journal I would write down things that I like doing that I enjoy doing that I I would set little goals for myself and that's how I got to Ward's I'm where I am now it really wasn't about an assessment and I kind of laughed and I'm like you know when I think about like these people like these you know big time I just might Oprah is it all these people I'm like you know I'm sure they didn't take an assessment they just had something that already they knew about themselves to know who you are in my values why I couldn't be an attorney or working law is because I'm very into how things affect people being a direct

where is the bean directly being able to impact someone's life and I know it was hard for me that

you're using the law to help these people and sometimes no matter what you do you can't necessarily help them you know the following the letter of the law that was hard for me and then also representing things I didn't believe in I'd like that either if I didn't believe in something will be there be an internal conflict for me to record everything that I didn't think was right and you know that was wrong for me it's looking at yourself who are you really need to get to know who you are right and then taking notes about yourself and keeping track of that which is awesome. I was just thinking of me talk about so much occasionally and informal education some people are leery about for my education because they think they have to take loans out and it's like oh my gosh if I go back to school

you know I'm never going to make it what are your you're even when you have a kid I mean that that happened to me I yeah I was like oh my gosh I'm not going to think about going back to school to have a little line in this. When I look back on it it was the best thing

and I did for her

absolutely it's risky whatever you do it's risky to get a loan and have to pay back it's also risky to not invest in your career right either way so which wrist do you want what I encourage people who are actually mom's cuz I was a single mom at the time and my daughter she was like 2-3 years old same here. I took out loans only for what was necessary and then I tried to find Grant I tried to find scholarships and grants to supplement thing and I only took out loans for what I needed for ASL sometimes can you take out a loan for books and everything I took out loans for the course work but I tried to pay for books I got used books I got I think there was a program that just started at the time where you can borrow books and then send them back so I found different ways to support my my education and now I'm not looking back like I have no

grits on this it would have been risky or for me to say I'm scared and let me not even try

yeah and and I'm glad you mentioned that because I really want to talk about that that piece of the emotional Wellness where sometimes we're afraid to do something whether it's because our society has told us we couldn't do it you know or a teacher or the educational system or you know other people not lie how do you overcome that. Oh my gosh I don't think I can do this or you know I'm not good enough

you can kiss my

I would have to say if you're not going to therapy then you can go to mindset coaching or personal life coach or something like that because that mindset piece right there is actually be most important are exactly that you need to focus on those limiting beliefs to go from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset you can go to coaching to help you learn how do I set goals how do I stay motivated how do I stay accountable

okay awesome and in your practice she worked on the mindset

primarily were working on mindset so much of what we think and believe our belief systems that are automatic by we don't even realize we're conditioned since you were children but yeah yeah I am no one may not know this but in my mind back in the day either 3rd grade teacher who told me I couldn't read or I wouldn't amount up to anything

so that's what made me choose to go into business because I thought well I can be able to meet this psychology books and I can be able to read anything yeah and with every step that I do that little sod comes in you know oh my gosh maybe I'm not going to be able to read it are announcing and stuff but I say to myself April you go for it I don't listen to I thought I just put that behind me and just move for you know you have to step out in faith so yes yes I want to thank you so much for being in the Shell today and now I'm a little bit challenging for you cuz of all the stuff that you're going through you're an amazing amazing person and I really really do appreciate not only what resources you have provided for me and my gas Asif are the resources that I see out of LinkedIn let him mention like them and all this time it's a great Avenue if you're looking for a career and looking for Connect

but also hooking up with you with her on LinkedIn and what's your LinkedIn it's asked if you want to find me on social media on LinkedIn Twitter Instagram Facebook ask coach said okay ask coach and thank you so much for being on the show and providing so much information I really do appreciate you so much doctor April it's been my pleasure knowing you and being able to participate like thank you again and this is been a black show thank you for everyone