Bringing Intimacy Back, July 2, 2020

Bringing Intimacy Back with Dr April Brown and Dr Kelly
  
  
Show Headline: 
Bringing Intimacy Back
Show Sub Headline: 
with Dr. April Brown and guest Dr. Letitia Brown-James

Bringing Intimacy Back with Dr. April Brown and guest Dr. Letitia Brown-James

Guest, Letitia Browne-James

Guest Name: 
Letitia Browne-James
Guest Occupation: 
Board Certified Counselor, Licensed Mental Health Counselor (FL), Qualified Clinical Supervisor (FL), and Florida Behavioral Health Case Manager Supervisor
Guest Biography: 

Dr. Letitia Browne-James found and owns Victorious Living Counseling & Consulting, LLC. She is a Board Certified Counselor, Licensed Mental Health Counselor (FL), Qualified Clinical Supervisor (FL), and Florida Behavioral Health Case Manager Supervisor with over ten years of experience working with adults, children, families, and couples in many clinical settings as a counselor and administrator. She is a Counselor Educator and Supervisor serving as a Core Faculty Member at Adler Graduate School in Minneapolis, MN, and Adjunct Faculty at Stetson University in Deland, Florida. She is a sought-after speaker and consultant for issues in mental health, teaching, clinical and administrative supervision, multiculturalism, social justice, advocacy, ethical practices, human trafficking, the intersections of mental and physical health issues, and many other topics. 

Dr. Browne-James is the President of the Florida Counseling Association, Treasurer of the Association for Multicultural Counseling and Development, and a Past President of the Florida Association for Multicultural Counseling and Development. She is also a member of the National Board for Certified Counselors, American Counseling Association, Florida Counseling Association, Central Florida Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, and Orange County Chapters of the NAACP and BCU’s National Alumni Associations. She also serves as a non-physician Board Member on the American Board of Internal Medicine Specialty Board.

Bringing Intimacy Back

Bringing Intimacy Back with Dr April Brown and Dr Kelly
Show Host: 
Dr April Brown

As we look around in this world today, it seems we are becoming more disconnected from one another, even though we have the technology to connect to more and more people than ever before. Furthermore, the lack of intimacy (in its many forms) is one of the top three reasons why relationships struggle and many times end.

Thus the Bringing Intimacy Back talk show is a show dedicated to inspire, enlighten, and encourage intimate connections. This show provides an engaging atmosphere to discuss and demonstrate ways to enhance intimacy in one’s personal relationships with significant others, families, friends, Higher Power, and oneself. The show will discuss intimate connections in many different forms, such as sex, communication, emotional, physical, health, and spiritual. In fact, research has shown that as we increase our intimate connection with ourselves, our Higher Power, and others.  It will help decrease the conflicts, anxiety, and depression in our lives.

THE MISSION

Increasing intimacy for all has become Dr. April’s mission. The mission statement of the show is to provide an atmosphere to discuss and demonstrate ways to increase closeness in one’s personal relationships with significant others, families, friends, Higher Power, and oneself. Therefore, Dr. April started in February 2018 to host her own new Radio/TV Show Bringing Intimacy Back where she and other intimacy experts will provide resources and tips on increasing intimacy in all types of relationships. Audience members will be able to transform their relationships through relationship experts’ insights, useful and practical resources, role-playing, and audience participation. The show’s goal is to show its audience members that intimacy can be alive and real in the relationships we desired.

Weekly Show
BBS Station 1
Thursday
Starts: 
12:00 pm PT
Ends: 
12:55 pm PT
Show Transcript: 

feeling lost and alone looking for validation from your partner only to find the feeling of rejection and continued frustration your together yet so far apart now your frustration is turned into disdain and resentment your insecurities have begun to affect every aspect of your life ironically you have now become the cold and detached one shielding yourself from the uncertainties of your relationships dr. April Brown has created bringing intimacy bag a series of discussions that are designed to help you reclaim what you have lost along the way dr. April will help you ReDiscover and reconnect to the intimate relationship your heart so desires go to www. Bringing intimacy back.com today and let the healing begin
welcome to the bring an intimacy back show where it's Missy is real on this till we ain't help you increase that the internet connections between your significant other family friends business Network higher power we give you the secret power to intimacy you create a life you love a love the life you create well on Today Show with talking about something very very important that is dear to my heart with talking about black lives matter and mental health a copy healing advocacy allies and social justice only have to deal with intimacy and really it has everything to do with intimacy and I'll culture is really important about us learning how to have connection not every time that I talk about intimacy I'm really talking about those deep deep connection how we connect with one another and so today I was just doing some weed
searching stuff and Ashley but I'll slow one of my interns turn me on this wonderful lady hear her name is dr. Latisha Brown James she's had some wonderful and podcastone shows about the black lives movement and so I was so touched by what she had to say so I wanted to have her welcome. Brown James thank you dr. April thank you for having me she is was a licensed mental health counselor a board certified counselor a qualified supervisor Lord of behavior case manager Supervisor over 10 years of experience is NBA Orlando area working with adults children families couples and many different settings as a counselor in the ministrator she's also a counselor
Decatur which means she teaches and she supervised she's a member and I'd like graduate school right there and Minneapolis Minnesota where a lot of some of this started I just dropped it in Stetson University in DeLand Florida and of course because of all of her experience she's a solid speaker Consulting for issues ranging from mental health anxiety multiculturalism clinical administrative supervision on social justice ethical practicing and the intersection of course between mental and physical health and she's also has so many I'm credentials in the sense of the chi not only Council people but she also the leader in the counseling field is the president of the association treasurer of the association for Multicultural counseling and development has president of the Florida Association for my pipe counseling and development she's also
CNBC American Counseling Association for the counseling Association and a brighter than she has deceived and just last year she was the national board for certified counselors excellence in clinical mental health the black women handling business women in medicine award from begin cookman University and of course you know she's beautiful and so she's I'm 40 + 40 + outstanding alumni award and she's received a lot please look her up because she is a groundbreaking counselor welcome. There how are you doing you I'm doing well how are you so before we get started with everything I truly want to know with everything that's happened in the last few months how are you dealing with all of this
oh wow that's a very difficult question to answer for right now and it it's just been Moment by moment I'm I'm okay in this moment I'm okay if it's been any motion of a variety of emotion an emotional roller coaster I'm sorry just a variety of emotions related to everything that's been going on so just taking it day-by-day and trying to engage in a lot of self-care to keep myself grounded and balance because the work that I do can be very stressful and overwhelming and particularly in today's climate makes it even more difficult because not only am I a black woman you know living this reality that we're dealing with currently but we have cold and going on and I have my students and supervisors and just all of these things and people and moving parts to it that can also make it pretty overwhelming if I don't be intentional about staying grounded and taking care of myself
Great Dragon. It's very informative listen is out there that we really do have to stay in the present moment but I didn't even know myself how did you even get into the place I love that question you know I've always known for these ideas and dreams about what we're going to be when I grow up so I think the first thing I started out thinking or the first profession that I thought about was becoming a teacher and then it went to nursing and this was like five 6 when we start thinking about careers and it wasn't until about 8:12 that I became pretty solid I want to be a counselor and I didn't really know I didn't say, so I said a psychologist I didn't know what that really meant at the time but I just knew that I liked the idea of helping people through their their daily struggles and their emotions and so forth and so I went on to Bethune-Cookman that you mentioned last year I was selected as
what are the 40 under 40 we CPN and yes I went on to Bethune-Cookman and I major in Psychology and that was my major all the way through until I graduated in four years and I was pretty much on the path to becoming a psychologist again just wanting to be in the field and went out and start with started working primarily in the foster care system with children that were abused and neglected and we're living in a long-term foster care facility and shelters and so forth and I did that for about 2 years and just really love love love working with Children and adolescents as a navigator. Coping with their traumas and the depression and the behavioral issues and different things that the experience since I did that for 2 years and I started looking into graduate school because I need to continue this path and I was pretty torn at first between psychology and counseling and I settled for counseling mainly because that program
have the marriage and family therapy track that I liked and so I ended up going to counseling route so here I am
yes yes and so as a fellow councillor many people think we just Trump which is running things we do but also and I feel we are servers supposed to say that social justice yes yes yes can you explain to me what that means and what is specifically does that mean you because that's something that you really do specializing in social justice to to break that down a little bit sometimes I find that people think that social justice and advocacy are the same things and so it's important to differentiate that know you know social justice is the larger part of dealing with helping individuals or not just individuals but just people in general groups of people at a time on a macro-level if you will making change policy changes things to improve their their well-being and having equity and equality and and different things like that
advocacy are the steps that we can take to get to creating social justice change and I think it's so it's such a great question right now in the current climate because we are really dealing with major social justice movement right now so it's really interesting to be a part of a modern social justice / Civil Rights Movement currently have questions please call 188-627-6008 and then she said we're in this Civil Rights Movement, black lives matter what exactly does that mean
black lives matter specifically stands for black lives needing to have Equity equality like I mentioned earlier we were talking about social justice and that we have a country we have a really dark history and unfortunately it's still permeates and in today's society there are a lot of things that have changed but we have a lot of work to do for example you know we're not enslaving people anymore as a country or at least not outwardly and then of course I can't help but mention things like human trafficking which is another one of my area that is a market is referred to as a modern form of slavery but I'm talking about the slavery of a black people and either different groups of people that were enslaved during
video of the pre Civil Rights Movement for for so many years and so we are now you know that's not legal anymore but there are different things that are occurring such as implicit bias and and we see people getting targeted by by police officers are in the workplace when they go to the grocery store is just because of the color of their skin and although a variety of people from different marginalized groups specifically racial groups are the targets of hate discrimination oppression and all of those things right now there's a spotlight on black lives because backlight are under attack specifically right now and unfortunately it took
a lot of media coverage and the current issue primarily stemming from the George Floyd's murder and then others after it there were there were many before it but it's really bringing a national conversation what do we need to do to to change that so it's it's really important for people to understand that no one is saying that black lives are more important than any other lies that's not the purpose of the movement the purpose of the movement is to create awareness equity and fairness for black lives that are under attack even myself as a black woman who have never been in any type of legal trouble I still have to deal with things like people asking me or are questioning me questioning my status questioning do I belong here whether it's in a grocery store or in a professional roll people doubting that I am the professional that I am which you can say it's because of a number of things some people will say well maybe it's because you're young
and you're so young to be accomplished but the reality is the things that I space and many other black people's face we we don't get asked people don't get asked those questions who are not black
I see what you're saying because people assume that because we are educated by just combination does not yes yes or let like you got into school if you went off to college or you went to a trade school or whatever because of you were pretty much a minority token or because of affirmative action not because of your intellect like you couldn't possibly be smart enough to go there and as long as we talked about the current movement we can't help with talk about politics black lives matter and it encouraged people to actually look at the actual organization of black life so that they can see the mission and that it's not even just about black lives it's about anyone that is being oppressed and marginalize whether they are from a sexual minority group you know someone that maybe that might be gay or someone who is a tramp who is a transgender person and having a fair chance and not being treated differently because
your value system says that this person shouldn't be who they are so it's not even just about black rights if it's about equality and equity for all people but primarily focusing on individuals from minority groups not Johanna Ortiz and some people fall into many minority you're at you're a woman who is a Muslim or a man he do all of these things I can put us in various marginalized categories which refer to in the feelings intersectionality so meaning the parts of our identities. Can cause us to experience some oppressive hateful and mean things in the world for you how has it affected you
well I'm from the Perma positive perspective it has it has affected me positively because it has brought a conversation like I mentioned earlier to National and Global stages that we need to have you know it's kind of like hear no evil see no evil if it's not affecting you you don't talk about it or you keep it in your house and we can get into all of the cultural implications with back and looking at privilege pacifically things like like white privilege which can be a very triggering topic for people because they feel like well well yes but I grew up for so I had a hard life or not we're not talking about that the difference were talking about when we talk about black lives is that you and I may have me come from similar backgrounds of different races and have very diverse experience is solely because of the color of our skin you could go into a store and not necessarily be suspected as being a thief or not being suspected
stealing a credit card because you have an American Express card or you have a black card or whatever but me as a black woman it's definitely more likely to happen to me and it has and it has happened to a lot of other black people like me so that's what we're talking about when we when we talk about black lives and interest only owning a privilege whatever your privilege is owning it whether it's racial privilege economic privilege and using it acknowledging it but using it for the greater good using it to engage in advocacy efforts like we talked about earlier a little bit to promote social justice and I have so many wonderful friends and colleagues of different races and we've had multiple conversations over the year over the years but specifically more now like how a Leticia how can I get involved how can I be a part of this or how can I have this conversation with my white Collies are by white family member that they don't understand and they're listening to what they're hearing other people say including the president of
United States you know referring to the black lives matter movement as a terrorist group it has nothing to do with terrorism and it just takes a very quick Google search to find that out I had it I was having a conversation with a woman on social media recently and I encouraged her to do that organization and she said well website people can put whatever they want on websites yes that's true but just going that extra step to finding out about the organization finding about the owners of the organization or the founders of the organization and hearing from them directly what black lives matter is about now of course you're always going to have extremist but you have asked you have extremist Christian if you want to go from that perspective you know that will do evil things in the name of God for example so actual Founders and mission of the organization and not lumping it into a negative category because
outliers that are doing things in the name of that organization and when you just mention like many people to understand exactly what that is in the sense of privilege they feel like I didn't I didn't have that or they're feeling so guilty about it I swear I had someone he just like I'm so upset about and they felt so guilty about it and it's not it's not that it's right yes yes Own It own it and and recognize that you have it and how it again how can you use it if you are concerned about creating an equal and Equitable world for everyone how can you use your privilege we all have some level of privilege you know what weather it is the privilege of being an American citizen or you have economic privilege so we're not saying that having White Privilege is bad if it's one of those
colleges that you were born into at no fault of your own but now that you're aware of it how can you use it to to becoming a lie you know to help us a create conversations and one of the things that I've been focusing on as I talk about allyship and I'm not just for black lives just being an ally in general or any group or organization that may be under attack is is being okay with the fact that you to maybe come under attack for individuals that have biases against those groups for example you know I had a conversation with a friend recently that is is a white person and they talked about having conversations with other white people people that they dig known and respected for a really long time and they were pretty much told you need to choose you need to choose if you were going to support this an abandoned the white race or if you are going to come back and just be a white person and not let the issues that these people are saying that's half that you know that they're saying is happening to them
really happening to them and visuals in similar situations and I just encourage them I said I'm not telling you what to do I would never do that but I but I do encourage you to just take an inventory of the people in your circle and see if they are people you even want in your circle anymore if they if they could be so hateful you know we all come to a point in our lives where we have to let go of some relationships for various reasons not just romantic relationships but when our values and our our vision he'll just don't align anymore for whatever reason we have we have to part ways if it can you put some distance can you have conversations where it might be uncomfortable for you to have those conversations with people it might be frustrating but they are necessary if if you're really going to be an ally these piece
they're necessary all of us can be allies in some way shape or form by using our privilege to help people that don't share that same privilege you know for example one of my privileges is heterosexual privilege and and how do I use that to be an ally for people who don't have it another one is economic privilege how can I use my economic privilege to be a voice for people who don't have it that may be living in poverty and he know right now A lot of people are finding themselves more than more than usual in that situation because of cold it so how can I use my voice and use my and use my platform to help advocate for those individuals and it doesn't always have to be a big thing like writing a letter or for calling your legislator which I definitely support but it could be something as simple as just learning more how how can you get involved just listening signing a petition you know small things that you can do to become an ally and an advocate that can lead to
social change social justice and how you put it on if we need to be concerned because you never know if you're going to be on on Android so others just like people help us and we come back we're going to talk more pacific about how this works in the culture that we have right now will take a short break and will be back in a few moments
during this difficult time that we are all facing
many people are in need of someone to talk to
when option is speaking to a therapist to express your anxieties if you're feeling isolated or just need someone that will listen and help you with coping skills to get through
dr. Abel Brown is now accepting new clients and is working with her existing clients through distance video counseling the services are through a secure online HIPAA based practice management platform called Simple practice this technology can provide a secure two-way interactive video counseling session over the internet
good morning formation about video counseling please email dr. April Brown at info at dr. April Brown
dot-com or you may call 239-565-6921 thank you and remember we are all in this together
lucky welcome back to the bring intimacy show where intimacy is real today we're talking about black lives matter and mental health a coffin healing advocacy a license social justice and I guess today's dr. Latisha Brown James we were just talking about the importance of black lives matter and why we should be concerned all of us because we never know if it may be one of us being attacked so as we talked about how to get more involved
how do you think this has really started to affect
a mental health in people of color people of color and how even the mental health of people of non color of people are
white backgrounds how has this truly effect from your perspective is my perspective it has affected black people in in a in a very significant way emotionally mentally spiritually because although the things that are happening. That's in the media right now about how black lives are under attack and and not just mainly in the media right now it's about police brutality and in that format but it's happening on many levels you know in the Healthcare System people not receiving adequate health care because of who they are or supper some people their economic status or even individuals that are black or black that are on the professional site you don't have to do some work on the medical side of things I have a lot of colleagues who are working in the medical profession and they share their experiences of having patience you know say to them you can't take care of me
I need a different doctor because of their race it happens all the time so I'm on one hand it's it's kind of like I guess you can call it digging in the scab of a wound that's already there are a lot of us and it's it creates a lot of anxiety a lot of anger depression hyper-vigilance because there is this
thanks about a my neck sore is someone that I know next and if you talk to any black parent you know they will tell you in a course I'm not speaking on behalf of people who are black but just from my experience they will tell you that they have they have to have the talk with their children and end the talk just in tails what do you do if you get stopped by a police officer or when you go to school you need to act a certain way you need to do your very best you have to work twice as hard in order for people to take you seriously so it has affected black lives in in that way you know of a really
again digging the scabbed up a room that's trying to heal or maybe it's not healing at all but on the positive side it has really brought a lot of awareness. People who are not blocked and and not just people who are white just just not black people have have more of an awareness now that whoa that this is really a problem of course you still have people that are denying that it's happening and think that we are exaggerating and you know that's an isolated incident or if they had just comply that would have never happened all of these things that people say but you know what from my perspective it's it's bigger than just compliant or non-compliant it's about humanity and treating people as human being you know whether someone replies are not when they're stopped by a police officer is Justified because a lot of times it's not even a Justified stop you know it is completely based on implicit bias if it's based on racism
happened to me it has happened to my spouse that has happened to many people who I know and it wasn't whether it's warranted or not just treating people with dignity and fairness and understanding that if you have like if you how I saw a video not too long ago with a black youth that was stopped by it by white officers and he was sleep you could and I guess because I'm a counselor is very easy for me to see see the terror in his face and he ran away so sometimes you have people have that fight or flight response you know the things some people are able to kind of stay and fight if you will stay meaning stay calm deal with whatever you do answer the questions respectfully and even when it when they do that sometimes they're still mistreated and killed and light on but even if someone runs away or they're not quote-unquote compliant it doesn't mean that it definitely doesn't mean that they should be mistreated or killed in any way but it also doesn't mean that they're trying to be disobedient understanding that the choir
a black lies and how how we're treated overall can cause people to be extra sensitive or you will feel afraid and in trying to run away really for their lives because they're there's a real bear there yeah that would say even with this movement that there are still people all of us are still sometimes even afraid to even still speak out yes yes and I've even seen it and talking with the police officer where they are even a place here in the doctor's office and say how they feel about the situation not be until we couldn't say anything can do anything and now the gates are open but still it's a lot of fun fair going on in the multi-generational traumas that that have experienced the residuals of slavery
but there are still what I call residuals of slavery wear for example in the black community and another minority communities there is this code of you keep things in the house if your personal fake you take you take it to God in prayer and if you're a Believer and a lot of that came from slavery because they didn't have a choice back then you could not speak out because speaking out could literally cost you to be absolutely your house could be burned so unfortunately there is still a lot of generational trauma and messages that have been passed down through the generations of keeping things inside and it's not helping us it's not helping us on a micro-level nor is it helping us on a macro-level so like one of the things that I do as a black mental health professional is try to reduce stigma as much as possible for people with within the black community black and brown
enemies and even within counseling I've seen it time and time again working in Community Mental Health wear a white collie mostly will say things like well the plane is resistant or the crank is this in the frame. And not understanding experience of being hurt and violated by people who look like you so I need a little bit more compassionate and patient as you work with me to help me to feel safe trusting you with my issues before I will open up to you like I'm definitely even for people going on Tesla's that it's something that everybody can do is to help others
talk about what's going on you know I'm there's a lot of different types family sees days and I didn't know if you seen it in your office now but there's a lot of fun so everyone's trying to figure out how to talk about race yes about what's going on and it needs to talk about it needs to be discussed
yes yes it's a certainly does and no no matter how old the individuals are there needs to be a conversation of course that's developmentally and age-appropriate but there needs to be a conversation we need to get away from seeing I don't see color because we think that's the politically correct thing to do or that's the nice thing to do but do we have any as we do see color we see colors everywhere unless you're color-blind explain that because you say yeah I don't see color colorblind it's not helpful not helpful in any way shape or form because again the reality is holler often defined the person's experience lived experience but specifically within the black community there is up there is a pride what would being black again that goes all the way back to how we were treated from the very beginning of time of of being proud of who we are
proud of how we look how are hair grows out of her which can also create some issues in schools and a job where where people are referring to our hair texture as unprofessional from the weight of the girls at the bar so you know it as a person that may not have that type of here that may have straight hair or curly hair whatever you can go to work and never or to school and never have to deal with that you know some of my research I I I do a lot of work on a racial microaggressions specifically within the black community and the research is heartbreaking racial microaggressions are the things that people say and do to a person because of their Race So as we're talking about black people I'm sure just about every black person or a lot of us could say we have these experiences will someone will say to you like oh you're so you're so smart or you speak very well or you know things like that that's a microaggression it's wrap
in the form of quota quota compliment but it's an insult because it's insinuating that you were not expecting me to be articulate or to be smart or to not have a criminal record I had I had a guy had a guy say to be erased if you were talking about something and he said to me of course he went on the defense and he said you calling me racist is like me saying that you have five children with five different diets and no education and even is that I said an even in that, because why would you assume I think of you know what none of those things are fighting me I actually have a Ph.D I have one husband and I think the word racism can you explain to some people have this concept of what racism is on but it's not so can you explain exactly what that word means
to me how I would Define it in layman's terms is ask you how you have certain biases and opinions about a person solely based on their race but whether you think that they they may have a criminal record or Dare there a thief or there a murderer or whatever because just solely because of their race and you need to or you don't want to see people have relationship intimate relationship romantic relationships with people from from a different race I I can't tell you how many clients I've seen that are you know they're dating or they're running today or they're married to have an interracial relationship and their family members are so awful to them about it saying that they're disappointed in them because they married that person and that person meaning solely because of the race of the person or they're shutting their children because they're they might be you know that they might be black or you know they're biracial multiracial or whatever to me
the defense that you have power that's involved in that word racism is better than the other solely because of race you know any people have a misconception that racism is you're out there like you're real you're part of the Klu Klux Klan and you're overly hanging people and killing people of course that is definitely involved in racism with racism can be very subtle you know it in the van in the form of a microaggression where you know you're walking and you see a person of A different race approaching you and you start touching your purse or there's an assumption that they did something wrong you know because of the bias that you have it's all tied into racism and people don't realize that it's still accept yes yeah I know that people are not honest about how about that they're with their racist beliefs and thoughts and feelings surrounding this issue
internet while he's trying to move into a new place has a black counselor they told me they can do business they can raise rent too many of my clients and happens in a variety of yes yes so yeah
where would it go now if like you said it at worldwide level but also on a personal level three things happen and for people of color for some of us it's getting flooded back and chest that mean you remember all these times you've been discriminated against dealing with some of that
I get first I tried validates and normalise their experiences because that is real for them their experiences are very real and even as we talk about mental health you know it's really important to us as counselors to think about how is shoes with racism could factor into a person's presenting problem those of us who are counselors we know that night and listen to 95% of the time when people coming to see us and they say they're coming in for this particular thing as you were can you talk with them you find out that it's way deeper than that that's not even the real issue so it's really important to consider especially in this climate how was it when people of color come to counseling and they're they're describing their feelings of depression or anxiety or they're angry and they don't know how to place it cuz sometimes I will happen you know it's up to us to help to dig a Little Deeper to find out an impact and I tell my students in my supervisor he address the elephant in the room from day one and it does it doesn't matter what the elephant
could be there could be a huge age difference or it could be raised or whatever it is address the elephant in the room you know and and you don't know where she would do it very delicately and saying something like I was wondering you know what it's like for you working with someone who looks like me or you know just how ever you want to play with being your authentic self and in my experience people really appreciate that if it's not a bill tell you if it is an issue they will be very relieved that you have opened the door to have that conversation and will automatically let their guard down at least somewhat and be willing to have a little bit deeper into that conversation with you and everything and yeah he hasn't making but I'm glad that you mention that it's really important for anyone if they're facing that kind of stuff to get help
yes yes to speak up and speak out about it until we're going to take a short break here and in this place here we're going to have some information about Ashley what does dr. Leticia Brown James do when he could little short to Russia and then when we come back we're going to talk more about tools and tips that we can do to become allies and engaging social justice
hello my name is dr. Leticia Brown James and I am a licensed mental health and board certified counselor in the State of Florida I am also the founder and owner of Victorious living counseling & Consulting LLC where we offer counseling services to Children adolescents families couples and groups we offer licensure supervision to counselor seating licensure in the State of Florida for mental health and or marriage and family therapy finally we offer a myrent of training and Consultation Services to individuals and organizations that may be seeking some guidance on issues surrounding leadership Multicultural and social justice issues mental health issues and a variety of other topics so if you would like to learn more please give us a call at 3 to 1
209-8219 you can email me directly at Doctor LBJ at Latisha Brown james.com you can visit my website at dr. Latisha Brown James. Com or check out our Facebook page at Victorious living counseling & Consulting LLC we look forward to hearing from you soon thank you thank you so much and I and everyone make sure you check her out definitely so I want to talk about tools so what tools can first thing people deal with and in the black lives movement how to make it how to become allies
if you're facing which is crimination what can you do how to engage in social justice with with your with the people in your circle and if you have you know attending podcast and presentations and things just to learn from the people that are actually experiencing these things why it's important to that what their experiences have been in really being authentic and true true to yourself and sitting with yourself sitting with your thoughts and how how you made have had some biases in the password or you're still working through them and if you have connection to people who are black and reaching out to them and asking them you know some questions if they're willing but also not being offended if they don't want to talk about it because right now we are we are hurting we are very overwhelmed we are inundated with a bunch of things that you know emotions and situations because of this issue
educate take some time to educate yourself get get involved in anti-racism efforts and in just finding of finding a way for you to get involved again based on what you have access to no one is expecting you to or at least I'm not expecting people to do things that that is not practical for that we don't do things that are practical of of getting involved attend a black lives matter protest if we talk or stay safe while you're out there and doing some research like I mentioned at the very beginning even just going to the website and learning exactly what the actual movement is about again we're not talking about the outliers and the people that are doing wrong things in the name of the movement but really understanding what the movement is about and you know finding your voice and your space to be helpful in the situation
yes and so I went to go back to your first step about having conversations which is I'm a believer that start small having a conversation and then it grows and I'm glad that you could ask questions because if you don't know something it's good to go ahead and ask if I should trying to learn to ask however you also put that it's good to respect boundaries so you know if your wife hurt me like I really don't even know how this all how does this affect black sheep when you try to go to your black dress and you wanted to ask questions and then your boyfriend doesn't really
respond back understand that that person may be heard it yes yes sometimes you know that I'm not I'm not with it today I can't deal with this today today and I'm in a minute in a dark place or a bad place emotionally so I can't talk about it and if the thing to understand is that for black people this is constantly constantly at the Forefront of our minds you know again we're afraid for our sales were afraid for our lives when we go out and so you know I've heard many many friends and colleagues say things like I am very hurt by you and I believe that they are they really are and you know what what for them to have this awareness and how the initial shock of what is really going on is a lot for them we'll just imagine living that reality every single day and how long has been an overwhelming that can be for the population that's experiencing it
finding out this is happening to me where I've had Caucasian clients come to me to understand about black lives matter because they talked with their friends but they haven't got that much information or whatever and so even if you can't find one person fighting another person or I'm listening to podcast want to put the burden on the population that's being victimized to always explain things again that can be very exhausting and and quite frankly it's it's if it can be perceived as lazy or a cop-out you can do your own research what we can for those of us who have access to technology or who use technology and I say that because I recognize that not everyone is able to do that but if you do if it takes a quick Google search you know to find out some information on your own so do your old work as well as trying to connect with people cuz I think sometimes people feel like well this
because it hasn't happened to anyone that they actually know it's easier to dismiss it or think we'll know you know that happened a long time ago and that's not still happening but having conversations with people that is actually still happening to you on a daily basis you know the fact that as a wife you get a phone call from your spouse from your husband saying that he was just racially profiled because he was he fit the description of someone that was breaking into a business when the business that he was allegedly breaking into he owed you know that actually happened to my husband you know if it was Guns drawn calls for backup gun drawn on the ground guns out I don't believe you this is not your business you fit the description of someone that's breaking into this business it was obviously a lie because he owned the business you know what I mean so these are these are constant things that we have to deal with on a regular basis and it is a
do you know so we may not want to talk about it that's how one that's how we help to heal ourselves and it's also how we help to educate and create this Global movement of making change on a macro level social justice work to lead to Lasting changes non-black people it really does help us help and also educate yes yes I participated in
a parrot like a peer support conversation yesterday with some individuals and I I was asked to help with it but anyway they did like it was a program so they have like a comedian and they had people that were doing poems or spoken word and it was related to the black experience and it was so powerful to hear especially the poet talk about
her pain of being a black woman you know by engaging in poetry or you'll hear it in the music and he asked if we could talk about music for a second sometimes you know people will say well rap music is it so violent for pina for an example but if you really listen to a lot of it it's people talking about their pain you know we good as a musician or at the singer they are at a deal tell you that they have to channel their pain or even as a as a movie star Little Bill tell you I have to really challenge with my pain or go back to a painful time in my life when I had a bad breakup to really get in the get in the role of the character that I was playing and it has been because of me Chris Botti Holiday Inn in for the young people out there yes definitely
I'm in the sense of being an online engaging in social justice and writing your stuff is also another technique that you mention earlier yes yes and you know those can be intimidating things but but truck go in groups or try to join an organization left leg black lives and I hate to sound like I am a spokesperson for them cuz I don't work with him anyway but I just support them are the n-double-acp or whatever whatever the organization is some people are are are creating communities within their their religious community to go to Lake Tallahassee if you're in Florida and advocate for change police report whatever so joining professional organizations and advocacy organizations that are already working on to help create chain so that it doesn't seem so overwhelming and we're stronger in numbers to
definitely The More We join the better we are so definitely yeah yeah that was one of the positive things that I mentioned earlier when we were talking about this movement and what it means to me from a positive perspective it has been really emotionally overwhelming in a positive way to see people are so many backgrounds coming together for this common cause gas and so proud of our young people oh my goodness there are out there protesting their talking up there I'm hopeful about making changes which is just it's you know it's remarkable to see that and me being in the generation that I am and having an older generation of my parents in the 60s and now
it's overwhelming and then yeah and it's really interesting to talk to our our our elders you know who grew up pre civil rights during that time to to hear from their perspective what witnessing this has been like for them all these years and now I'm hoping things will will change when else yes yes because for many of us discrimination as we even started when we were little children in school in kindergarten it and you know I I know it tons and tons of black families that are talked about your children's having their first experiences on the playground or even a task that you know when we go to daycare I will never forget that this example that happened not too long ago just a few years ago I was supervising a program for inner-city youth you do mainly black you in that program
I was actually I went on this field trip just to help support and really to observe the staff to make sure that they were doing what they were supposed to do and they visited a local restaurant and they were kids playing in the playground and some of the black kids you know from our group went in to play with the kids and it blew my mind to see the way that they were treated you know you know don't touch my child and you don't hit their so innocent they're just plain dare dare. They truly don't really see, and the outrage and the hatred that came out from some of those parents as the kids were playing and there was this assumption that the black kids were trying to harm their children and it was really sad I didn't even in the education system my work is there a school counselor in that elementary middle and high but even when they started in the elementary many times the system is running to label them
oh yeah oh yeah yeah you do black black children are overwhelmingly represented in the students that are in you know ESC classes or they they have the diagnosis of autism and attention deficit disorder Oppositional Defiant Disorder they are often misdiagnosed and their passion you know what is is perceived as violent they're also more likely to be accused of cheating if it's there and if they do well there's an assumption will you must have cheated like you like you could not have done this out of your own intellect and I saw it to working in the school system and in my research if it's really sad but it happens if you don't graduate I just ate the whole life
cyco cycle yes yes yes that I'm so happy that has been brought to the Forefront in 2020 and was talking about it and now it's time for Action yes yes yes yes I'm in this sense of some more action tips what is another option tips that we can do
even in the sense of helping I'm since we just mentioned children advocating for equity and in the school system that you know usually there even though our schools are no longer officially or legally segregated they still are you know into a better school district but why does it have to be that what you know why why is the level of Education the quality of the education that our students experience should be based on their zip code that a parent or parents would have to go out of their way and travel to put their kid in a different school or find a way to pay for private school because the school that they're living in in in in the areas that you're living it is not quality like I don't understand there has to be a way to reduce this guy or Clash of close the gap, generational wealth
rotational what you do educational opportunities should be should be the same across the board so we we we cannot and this is a hard reality for many people to face we cannot say that this is a country based on freedom and equality when there are signs all over the place that they're very if it's not that way right right and so I'm glad that you mentioned that we can do because we do need to definitely close the gap that if that's their you know if because Americans should be about equality for All Humans yes yes equality and equity for All Humans absolutely right right right but I know that that's going to be a challenge and so how do we keep our poke
and I've been out this trying trying definitely trying to find the positives in the situation you know make making some nice lemonade out of the lemons if you weld typing typing into whatever it is that makes you feel good you know practicing some some some form of self here every single day that you don't know the saying connected and again in this area open it and it has to look different or should be looking different from most of us because we're also tried to stay stay but just finding ways to connect and stay grounded and again and again look looking at the positive in every every potentially negative situation there has to be some type of positive hope that we can hold onto I know for me personally I'm very hopeful that this current social justice movement will lead to some really needed laughing changes in this country it's not going to be fixed overnight but I can't just having the conversation on the global scale that is that is happening at
wasn't happening before so I think there's going to be some positive changes that will definitely come out of it after this and he'll definitely thank you thank you so much for being on the show you have provided us with some of the information if you're anyone out there listening and you want to check her out the car website iww Latisha Brown James and her social media she's on LinkedIn and Facebook and Linkedin is Leticia Josh brown with an E size chain and Facebook out yeah that's right in your Facebook with Victorious living counseling and Consulting the other social media and the other aspects that people wanting to reach out to you professional ones but you know my email and my website
are probably the easiest way to learn more and get ahold of me back show where a real website and thank you guys so much for having me