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Deborah Grayson Riegel
Your Pitch
Do any of these sound familiar when you think about asking someone for help?
“I don’t want to bother people.”
“If I ask for help, I will look weak.”
“Nobody will do it the way I would do it.”
“Everyone’s dealing with their own stuff, too.”
“I’m afraid there will be strings attached to the help…”
If so, then we want to talk to you (and we would love to you talk to us!)
Who is “us” — and why should we talk? 
Well, my daughter Sophie, a junior at Duke University, and I just wrote a book that became an Amazon #1 bestseller! 
We are both mental health advocates — and we both live with mental illness -- and we are thrilled that Go To Help: 31 Strategies to Offer, Ask for, and Accept Help is an official:
#1 Amazon Overall Bestseller in Organizational Change
#1 New Release in Business Decision Making
#1 New Release in Workplace Behavior
#1 New Release in Business Mentoring and Coaching
(And this is our SECOND book collaboration about mental health. Our first was Overcoming Overthinking: 36 Ways to Tame Anxiety for Work, School, and Life).
We think this is great news for professionals, parents, and partners who feel like asking for help from friends, family, and colleagues can be embarrassing and/or challenging. 
Sophie and I are no exception. 
I personally struggled with obsessive-compulsive disorder for decades, avoiding going to see a psychiatrist for years because I didn’t want to take medication. SI told myself, “I can live with thisit’s no big deal.” And yes, I could live with it and did live with it for years. But it wasn’t until my OCD became more difficult to live with than any imagined (or real) side effects of medication that I finally sought the help I needed (and I am thankful every single day that I asked for help.)
But I didn’t ask for help because I was scared of the solution. (This is what’s known as “solution aversion”)
Sophie and I both realized that we had to get better at asking for and accepting help. And if we could learn to do it, others could as well.
In our book, we discuss multiple reasons why people don’t ask for help at work, at school, or from friends and family, including the ones we listed up top.=
And the costs of NOT asking for help are high — we are overworked, our mental health and physical health suffers, we can lose credibility and reputation when our work suffers as a result, and there are relationship costs. If I knew you needed help and that you didn’t ask me, I would feel confused and hurt!
In our book, we teach professionals, parents, and partners:
  1. That asking for help is a mindset and a skillset that can be learned
  2. What kind of help isn’t helpful (despite your best intentions)
  3. How to become “help fluent” so that you have a wide range helpful options to choose from (see the attached postcard for the strategies)
  4. How to help other people become better at asking for help
  5. How to help someone who doesn’t want your help
I hope this is as interesting and timely to you as it is to us.

Deborah Grayson Riegel is a keynote speaker, executive coach, and consultant who has taught leadership communication for Wharton Business School, Duke Corporate Education, Columbia Business School’s Women in Leadership Program, and the Beijing International MBA Program at Peking University. She writes for Harvard Business Review, Inc., Psychology Today, Forbes, and Fast Company, and has been featured in Bloomberg Businessweek, The Wall Street Journal, and The New York Times. She is the author of “Go to Help: 31 Ways to Offer, Ask for, and Accept Help” and "Overcoming Overthinking: 36 Ways to Tame Anxiety for Work, School, and Life" and consults and speaks for clients including Amazon, BlackRock, Google, KraftHeinz, PepsiCo, and The United States Army.  You can find her online at