The Sun is Gone
By Jodee Prouse
One Woman’s Wisdom on Rising in Strength from Family Crisis
Learning Through the Tears Hard Truths About Taking Care of Oneself First—
And the Power to Stop Enabling
Whether it’s Addiction, Abuse, Divorce or any other Family Trauma, a Woman at the Center
Can Step Out of the Insanity – With Love
Jodee Prouse—The Embattled Woman’s Champion
Dear BBS Radio Host:
How many times have you lost yourself in some chronic family crisis, giving and giving until there is no more left to give—and yet you give more. Out of love, out of duty, out of knowing that everyone looks to you?
Whether that awful situation is a result of a horribly dysfunctional family, chronic drug or alcohol addiction, sexual or verbal abuse, raising a disabled or autistic child, the pain of a disintegrating marriage and divorce, the responsibility that comes with parental healthcare decline, a jailed or arrested partner or some other trauma?
As women, we have often learned from childhood that we are the ones that must be the peacemakers, the problem-solvers, the fixers—the ones to make concessions. And we sometimes do this with dire consequences, losing our selves, sometimes our partners and our children -- and even our souls.
Jodee Prouse knows this from experience. Her painfully honest book The Sun Is Gone about trying to halt the alcoholic decline of her beloved brother, amidst a lifetime of family crisis and dysfunction, is both a cautionary tale and beacon of hope for women to find the strength to make painful, but personally healthy choices.
Her story begins as a child where she becomes her sweet little brother’s protector as her alcohol-fueled father rages in the night. The grand-daughter, step-daughter, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, niece, great-niece, aunt, cousin and ultimately sister to alcoholics, she becomes the one pillar of strength in her immediate household as her neglectful and emotionally-withholding mother moves on to a new partner and divorce again. Eventually starting her own family with a loving husband and two children, and beginning a business, Jodee remains her brother, Brett’s best friend and safe harbor.
But as his drinking becomes apparent, grows worse and more self-destructive, Jodee is drawn into a maelstrom of pain, co-dependence, and battle of wills with her other family members. Her deep love for her brother propels her forward to make choices and sacrifices that are disempowering for herself, Brett and others.
Yet, finally, despite excruciating emotional pain, she comes to realize that she must put herself and her husband and children first—and set boundaries—that she cannot fix someone else’s life. For anyone dealing with an addictive family member, this experience will especially resonate.
But today, Jodee Prouse asserts that the need for women to take back the control over their own lives –and disengage from the maelstrom within a family crisis -- to no longer be an enabler -- is universal.
Now a full time speaker and advocate living in Alberta CAN and Oroville, WA, after successfully building and selling her highly regarded beauty company, Jodee is also urging families to stop hiding in shame from “family secrets”—to deal with hidden emotions by sharing, speaking out and getting help, to lance wounds that lead to pain, addiction, rage, regrets and family crisis.
Says Jodee: “I know what it is like to feel powerless to something that takes control over your life. It is not easy to break patterns of all we have ever known, even when our choices hurt us or hurt the ones we love. I know that sometimes these behaviors are etched deep inside...But when we lose ourselves in someone else’s addiction or issue, we are no good to anyone; not ourselves and certainly not the one’s we love. In the end, we are not culpable for someone else’s path. Just our own.”
And that’s the deepest form of love and understanding. Jodee inspires people to:
LEARN. ACCEPT. FORGIVE. HEAL.
To interview Jodee Prouse about her vital message for women enmeshed in family crisis and the tragic family story that has brought her this wisdom, please send an email with the name of the show, your contact information, a proposed date and time, and the calling details.
Jodee Prouse is the Embattled Woman’s Champion. She helps woman recognize that they have the strength to transcend family trauma, and the power to disengage from codependency with those family members who are at the heart of the drama.
Her mission is to help women recognize that love is the reason NOT to engage, that taking care of oneself first is not a betrayal or selfish. Making the hardest choices may seem to be cruel or callous, but, in fact, are healthier for all parties.
Jodee spent more than 30 years seeking to protect a brother ultimately lost in alcoholism, giving so much it nearly cost her marriage and risked endangering her children’s mental health.
The grand-daughter, daughter, stepdaughter, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, niece, great-niece, aunt, cousin and sister to alcoholics, she has tremendous empathy for anyone who has gone through or lives with a family in constant emotional crisis.
Her gripping and tragic story, told powerfully in The Sun is Gone: A Sister Lost in Secrets, Shame, and Addiction and How I Broke Free, unfolds while she is also growing an enormously successful beauty products business. Pulled in so many directions personally and professionally, she finally finds the strength to make the painful and necessary decisions that restored her emotional equilibrium, self-respect and protected herself and those closest to her. All along the way, while still loving her brother as he lived his own journey.
Committed to her new mission to empower women to find their strong inner core and make healthy decisions amidst family dysfunction, chaos and crisis, Jodee recently sold her business and now serves as an advocate. She speaks on women’s empowerment, addiction and mental illness from the family perspective and breaking away from longstanding, destructive family patterns. Half of the profits from her book, an Amazon category bestseller, go to non-profit organizations that support addiction and mental illness programs.
Jodee has two adult sons, and has been married to her husband, Jim, for 27 years. They split their time between Sylvan Lake, Alberta and cottage in Oroville, Washington.