If you have struggled finding, holding or maintaining deep, safe and long lasting love in your life, you may be very surprised at the reason. It's not because you've been jinxed, the lovers you've attracted have been selfish and insensitive, or your partner no longer cares the way he or she did.
It's because your brain has been mis-programmed. That's according to the vast research done by relationship counselor Dr. Gary Salyer, Ph.D. in his illuminating breakthrough new book, Safe to Love Again: How to Release the Pain of Past Relationships and Create the Love You Deserve.
Yes, you do DESERVE to have a long-lasting deep love.
But everyone has a "love style" that plays out throughout their lives, according to Salyer, an underlying subconscious approach to love. Either Secure, which leads to long-lasting, fully-embodied love; Avoidance, which causes a person to find ways not to fully commit or become deeply intimate; and lastly Anxious, in which a person creates drama from the fear that the relationship is always in jeopardy.
These are not learned traits. They are manifested from "permissions" or "rights" that our infant selves did or did not acquire in the first year of life based on what we internalized and perceived from the actions of our parents, says Salyer.
Those six rights are:
- The Right to Exist
- The Right to Have Your Needs Met
- The Right to Separate and Belong
- The Right to Create Your Own Experience
- The Right to Assert Your Voice and Choice
- The Right to Love and Be Loved
If your brain is wired based on the absence of one or more of these, then the result will determine your love style--and the same for any prospective partner you encounter.
Salyer's eye-opening and insightful book cites case histories of his clients, his own experience, a body of research called attachment theory and years of client successes that have proven how the absence of these rights consistently attract and create specific types of love experiences. And how it impacts the "We" in a relationship--that combined energy force that is the product of love-coupling.
But more importantly, he offers solutions to rewire your brain to restore these rights that were innate at berth. Thanks to the neuroplasticity of the brain, we have the capability to recapture what was lost, and change our love style to one that is sustainable, and which can dramatically improve and re-energize the state of an existing relationship. Salyer offers a picture of what a healthy, secure and lasting "We" looks and feels like for those who are currently rights-challenged....a roadmap of where the restoration of your missing right can take you.
You ask why we didn't offer this to you for Valentine's Day? Because romance is not what Safe to Love Again is about. It's about deep-seated, embedded feelings (that exist before beliefs) which must be neurologically transformed before you can create the love you deserve.
Yes, there is hope for everyone that yearns for real, enduring love!
If you would like to interview Dr. Gary Salyer on his extraordinary work and how your listeners can attain a Secure Love Style so they can attain the love they deserve, please send an email with the name of the show, your contact information, a proposed date and time, and the calling details.
(772) 332 0528
(818) 707 1473
Dr. Gary D. Sayler, Ph.D
After Dr. Gary Salyer’s first divorce, he vowed that his next marriage would be different. So when his second marriage crumbled almost a decade later for nearly the same reasons he was devastated. He felt like an utter, complete failure.
But rather than give in, he was determined to find another way. He committed to not being that guy who bounced from marriage to marriage, never really learning anything. So he dedicated himself to doing the deep research about all things love. He read, researched, furthered his education in the field, talked to experts and to people he loved. Most of all he did the deep transformation work that unlocked his heart and released his soul to love as he had always imagined.
Love — and how to make it lasting – became his life’s highest calling—not just for himself, but others. In so doing, he has developed a powerful and effective methodology to make it “Safe to Love Again” for those who may have even given up hope.
Based on a field of study called Attachment Theory, the science of intimate relationships, Dr. Sayler’s insights have a profound and often times immediate impact. As a transformational relationship mentor, he helps people re-write the rules for love in their brains. He empowers singles to reclaim their rights for a full soulmate relationship. With couples, he helps resolve their conflicts and differences so they can have the love they dream about.
Because of his innovative new approach that rewires brains for secure love, singles and couples experience deep, lasting shifts that happen in easy, natural ways. Some therapists are saying his new approach will ‘change the way therapists do therapy.’
The author of Safe to Love Again: How to Release the Pain of Past Relationships and Create the Love You Deserve, Dr. Salyer also offers experiential, interactive programs through his Safe to Love Again™ Workshop, and Extraordinary Couples™ and Extraordinary Singles™ Retreats. He is also a highly sought after guest on various podcasts, TV and radio shows such as The Aware Show on Hay House Radio and Coast to Coast AM.