Welcome welcome welcome everyone to Whiplash Talk. I am so excited to share this day with you. I have a great day.
I have two of my besties on with me. Birdi, where have you been? I am back. You know, it's Saturdays. It's, you know, it's, I'm moving and grooving on Saturdays, but I could, you know, I was able to make it today. So I'm happy to be here. I missed you guys.
We missed you too. My goodness. I thought maybe you like flew like down to Capistron or something. Maybe you're like, you know, on a migration or something. I didn't know for sure.
I do have a tendency to like hop in the car and like disappear to the beach by myself sometimes. You know what happened? Yeah. I've been doing a little bit of that stuff just so yeah. It's fun.
I'm not going to on the ocean. Yeah. Like on the ocean. Oh, amazing. Yeah. Right. I know. Rob, you're here.
I'm here. I'm here. Yay. How was your, how was your week with the trees? It was amazing. Yeah. Yeah. It just, it was really, it was magical. I, I think it's like, I love working with the trees and, but also the people and like one guy said this week and it just really stuck with me and it's like, I didn't realize that so many of the trees here.
They're really like, they're really tall and they're quite old and I thought they were, you know, maybe the original trees or, but like, no, a lot of the clients that I have, they're like, no, like one guy yesterday.
He said, we've been here for 57 years. He's like, I planted that tree. Like, it was the second one that was there. He's like, so I guess 56 years ago, because the first one died, but it really massive big beach tree.
Wow. Yeah. And so it was like, I couldn't even put my arms around it.
Like, so it was probably, well, the circumference was definitely over six feet, but I'm six, three. And so my arms, like, you know, barely got around the base of it. But, you know, it was awesome because he said the trees are our family. And I was like, I totally agree with you.
That's so cool. And so, you know, I'm just getting to meet a lot of people and it's just wonderful. And, and it's a lot of work though.
Yeah. Today, I'm very like, I had to do extra qigong and try to balance it out because some of it is very repetitive.
You know, work. So like my shoulders and arms get a really big workout and like my upper back. So I've got to kind of balance out with other other exercises today. And I went for a beautiful, beautiful long, long walk down by the creek today and everything's in full bloom up here in Canada. So it's amazing.
That sounds amazing.
I think you're down there for me. You're down there for me. Yeah. Yeah. Which sounds weird to say. I'll just say over there. Yeah.
I want to share something special with you. I did not know you were six, three. Bill was six, three.
I'm like a midget on stilts though. I always say that because I'm all legs, you know, I'm like an, without my, without my long legs, I'd be like five, nine.
You just earned yourself a new nickname. Okay. Your name is legs from now on legs. That's it. You can call me go away sticks if you want. Get away.
Let's just call them stilts. That's even better. Still even better. That's awesome.
That's amazing. Oh my gosh, it really sounds good. It fits you. Hey, stilts.
I just read it out. Okay. Yeah, it's good. That's a good one. I like it.
So I just attended a seminar, a webinar, whatever you want to call it. It was really good. It was about.
Kind of, you know, us going and and working on, you know, our sentient processes on our own and.
And, you know, shedding those layers and and it was actually really good. It was good to hear from, you know, different, different source.
Not, not like source energy, but like a different person that is probably, you know, not in our circle per se.
Yeah. It was actually really good. And it was talking about the difference between the Fibonacci spiral and then the crystal k.r. y s t al spiral.
And it talks about, you know, that timeline split that others have talked about. And I'm like, Oh, that's interesting. I came to file that away.
Because I was really good though. I think that's interesting stuff too. I studied that a few years ago and I always found like, you know, everybody, because the crystal spiral isn't mentioned anywhere and I did some art based around it, but like everything's Fibonacci Fibonacci golden.
But the interesting thing about that is it never returns to source. So is that like the Fibonacci the fake spiral versus the crystal spiral because it goes back down to zero.
So it's like Fibonacci. It's like it gets infinitely close to source, but it never gets back down to zero. So it's like the, it's like the fake version, right? Or something.
Yeah. And what was really interesting is it's based on 12 strand DNA, not 10 strand.
Where, you know, you're based on the 12 strand DNA and wow, it's a magical. It works.
It's kind of interesting. It was, it was just, it was eye opening. One thing I took from it was really cool. It talks about consciousness is like a ladder.
And it's like just about the time, you know, we go through, we go through, let's say a transition or we go through a change and we go through growth and we're like, aha.
And it's like, oh, wait, there's another rung in the ladder. And so, you know, we keep working on ourselves and we keep, we keep plugging in and pressing in and, and doing the work.
And it's like, okay, well, that helps me a little bit because sometimes, you know, you just kind of want to be done and it's, you're not done.
You're, you're always constantly growing, I think is, but, but internally growing, I guess is what I'm trying to say. It was really good.
Yeah. I agree. Like, because it's, well, like, and that's the thing is that everybody, if you have that, it's just another form of destination addiction. Like Eckhart says, it's like a belief in a future heaven creates a present hell.
So if you think you're always going to be getting somewhere, that's, that's still outside of the now.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And right now is right now, this is it.
Right.
It's, you know, you're either, you know, have like new earth or whatever you want to call it heaven or hell or it's like mind or heart. It's their frequencies. Are you in the present moment with your spirit or are you in your mind somewhere else, you know, right?
Right.
And sometimes, sometimes, you know, there's things that I get a little frustrated with myself because, you know, I'm, you know, I'm, I'm wanting to achieve. I'm wanting to obtain. I'm wanting to grow and I'm wanting to shed and I get a little frustrated because it's like, come on, because like, you know, there'll be something that's, that's happening that I feel like I should be able to handle.
And it's like, why can I not, I'll just share.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'll just share.
Nobody curse my cat, please. Sherman is having some issues.
And did he start drinking again? He did.
He did. He did. He did. He did. But he loves his water. So I'm glad he drinks water. So it's good.
So he is having some physical issues, but his, the light in his eyes is bright.
He's active. He eats. He drinks. He plays. He has no communication that I have picked up on that he's ready to go. And I'm like, whenever you're ready, buddy, you let me know.
You know, and so part of me, this morning, I cussed, I cussed at source, you guys. I'm confessing.
Oh, dear.
I'm like, I'm like, damn it.
There's a fiery pit when you're headed.
I know, right? I know, right? And I'm like, and then I apologize and I asked for forgiveness and I'm very grateful. But, but anyway, I don't even have to ask for forgiveness.
They know, but they probably were up there laughing like, Oh, look, she got some fire in her. But I'm like, it's frustrating because I don't, I'm not a parent.
I don't have children. So I don't understand.
I don't comprehend the, the love that you would have. You would lay down your life for a child for your child.
You know, I, you would take their place if you could. But that's kind of how I feel with Sherm. I'm like, buddy, you know, I, I'll take it. I'll carry it. You know, but I, and I've, I've done my commands and I'm like, so I'm kind of at a crossroads on that one. So I'm like, hmm.
So I'm a little frustrated because I feel like I'm not where I should be to be able to help me. So there you go. Sunshine's always real on her show.
Well, thank you for sharing that with us. You're welcome.
And you know what you said about another rung in the ladder is that it's like, you know, the destination addiction and it's like, what then what if we're, if we're eternal and we're creation and we're creators.
We're always going to be creating something. So it's part of the adventure. Like, I think of that song.
Hey, now, hey, now, don't dream it's over. And so don't dream it's over. Cause if you're sitting there dreaming, oh, I wish this was over. Well, then what, then what?
What over meaning what? Like just nothing or like what is the destination? And it's like Alan Watts always said, like life, it's part of it. And you know, we talked about embracing the dissonance last week or whatever it was.
But that's part of it too. It's part of the orchestra. It's part of the dance. Like you, like Alan Watts always said, like the point of the dance is the dance. It's not to get to the end or a certain spot on the floor.
And the point of the symphony isn't to get to the end. It's to enjoy the process every no longer way makes a part of that. Right. Right.
And it's interesting that you would say that because I have been as like, you know, I thank you for this experience. You know, I would prefer he not be going through this.
But, you know, thank you for this experience and how can I help? You know, if he's ready to go, let him go. Let's, you know, let's, let's not go through. Let's not go through pain or whatever.
Yeah. I'm going to let you guys take it for a second. I've got a wee woo like crying in the bed. I don't know if she got stuck in something or not. You guys go ahead and take it. I'll be right back.
All right. Bertie. Bertie, are you there? I'm here. I was, we were talking about the ladder and I just sent you guys, you know, you can see it. But I mean, that's just a, just a picture showing all the, there's two ladders next to each other. And one of them has wrongs that you could actually walk up.
And the other one, they're spread apart. So it's just showing you really can't skip the steps to get to the, to get where you want to go. Right? You know, you got the one guy at the bottom.
You know, he's only got a few, way fewer runs, but he can't really do it because you're trying to skip steps. So that one, I've had that one in my phone for years.
So when she said that, it resonated. And then also, like, you know, what Sunshine was saying about being a parent, you know, I have three kids and, you know, they do go through things. And during this transition for me, you know, I, you know, I can't walk around with a safety net all the time.
And then you have to kind of let them fall. And it's really difficult, but to watch. It's very difficult to watch those kind of things. And you want what's best for them. So I mean, I do understand all of it.
It's very hard to, but you know, it's very hard to let go, especially when your heart is in it that deep. But you know, like, even with me with alcohol, we've talked about addiction and I, you know, I would say, Oh, I hope I hope, you know, I would watch my son, you will come home.
And then I'm like, Oh, my gosh, I hope he doesn't go down that same road. Well, you know what, he has to learn for himself. It's his path. It's his road. It took me so long to get here. Not saying I don't care, but I worry 90% less than I used to, which is huge.
You know, does that make sense? Yeah, for sure. I like, and you know what kudos to being a parent, like I, I've never been a parent tonight. Never like, I'm 42 and it only crossed my mind like a few years ago for the first time thinking, Oh, I'd be, you know, I'd probably be a really cool dad, you know, but I knew deep down inside that I had too much stuff to clear out of myself.
I didn't, I didn't know how to explain it, you know, but like people would ask like, well, how come you don't not married? How come we don't have kids? And I was like, I'm still working through me. Like, why would I want to bring somebody else? And I didn't know maybe about DNA at the time or all that stuff or generational trauma so much. Like, this was just years ago, but I just, I just put it in simple terms that I have, I have to make sense of my world or the world that I'm creating or the world that I inherited. However, you want to look at it.
I have to be cool at that first. And I know that there's some people out there's one person,
listener wrote, wrote to me about how, you know, it's like just showing up and the answers are there for you. But you do, I think you have to be, you have to be of a certain consciousness level and maturity to have kids, right? And like you said, like, now you worry 90% less. But we don't understand the psychic mental energy of worrying or thinking like now all the stuff that I've learned, like how, how, you know,
psychic mental energy and psychic attack energy and how worrying and things like that could actually create, you could almost create a negative reality for somebody else by worrying about them, you know.
Well, it's true. And like, you know, now my kids are older and so am I, of course, well, I know, you know, I'm aging in reverse. I just put that out there every single time I can. So although I'm aging in reverse and will eventually need in the middle at some point, you know, when I, when I was younger,
I mean, honestly, I for me, and the path that I was on, my kids saved me because, you know, with alcohol and things like that, I wouldn't, I wouldn't be able to do it as much because I had children. So it's like, I just wasn't getting it. I just couldn't do it myself. But I was emotionally not mature enough. Like, it's that, you know, I was still drinking, you know, on the weekends or when I didn't have them or when they were, you know, somewhere else or we were away or something like that.
But the guilt, the shame, the I'm a terrible mother. I'm such a bad example of like all of that nonsense. And I was like, I look back. I'm like, I was like overboard, like the best mom ever, only because I was so my self esteem was so low.
That I overcompensate it thinking, you know, and it's just what it's all mind energy. Like, I don't believe for now. I like, you know, you were just mentioned psychic attacks like they don't exist for me anymore at this in this moment at this moment. Like, I just, I can.
I am so different. Just this journey has changed me so much. But it's definitely a lot of different phases and let the letting go of that and just being in the moment and being in the now and no judgment is another thing.
Don't judge myself. Don't judge them. You know, I want to go to college. No, I don't. Yes, I do. No, I don't.
Like, you know, let them find their way. And it's really hard. I just have to shut it, you know, shut your mouth. Yeah. Yeah. You know, and now I just, that I just love them. That's all I do is all she really can do is just love them.
That's it. You can't control anything. You can't control outcomes. You can't control it. You know, you don't like to see them suffer. You know, I have my daughter has terror. Like, you know, I don't want to say it out loud because it does.
She's working through it. So I thought instead of trying to talk to her and try this and try that. All I can do is lead by example and and she's noticing and I can see changes in her because I don't put any focus on it.
If she has, you know, issues or what I just I I just be me and all I do is say, I'm here. Do you want to hug? That's it. I just love her.
So I can do love love your way through it. Like we talked about before, right?
Yeah. Holds hold space in a neutral standpoint. And, you know, it's very it's great to like because I've had the pleasure and the the unique ability over the past few years to heal stuff with my mom that I think that's really you can heal your generational trauma personally.
But if you can do it with another person in the generation and the lineage, I think it's much more powerful that way.
Because it gives them a chance to clear that stuff too. And, you know, but it's it's difficult. Like the older generation, they weren't so maybe into what this they were very religious, you know, or not at all.
And so to be to be have that conscious communication and and going through that is really good. And like for myself, that was a big thing with my parents, like them wanting me to go to university.
I wanted to take a year off so much so that I dropped a grade 13 class so I could just, you know, get a part time job and then take that one class before I decided where I wanted to go.
And then it was this huge thing like and it caused all this drama and I was being insincere and I ended up going to university to please my parents, not because I really wanted to, you know.
Well, exactly. And, you know, even my son came to me and he called me when I was driving to the beach and we had an hour long conversation about he's like, I don't know how to like I'm being more real.
I'm not hiding anything from them. I finally told all three children that I spent my 17th birthday in rehab.
Oh, geez.
I mean, they were shocked because they think I'm perfect. Like, you know, I own a bit like, you know, like we talked about this before that that was a persona that wasn't the real raw authentic me, but I didn't want my children to see me.
Like, so they think I'm like super woman and I'm starting to just I mean, they know it all now. My son's like, Mom, I can't even believe like he thinks it's the greatest.
I tell him everything honestly and truly. And I mean, he knows like even the music I've listened to is cool to him, you know, like I'm like, all right, yes, I do listen to some rap. I listen to this.
They listen to everything. And, you know, just they couldn't believe it. They were in absolute shock that I was in rehab at 17.
Yeah.
And I can't believe I told them, but it felt so good.
At least he went.
I probably should have went to.
I was 17. My parents pretty much dropped me off and was like, she needs you.
I probably should have tried that out for 20 years.
But yeah, it didn't take, you know, took for a little bit. But at 17, it was like, who doesn't drink, you know, but I was a little bit.
It was because, you know, my whole family, you know, it's it's the genetics.
So they were, you know, it was on their radar. And, you know, one was sober and one wasn't. So it was a sober one. So I would call.
I would call the other one and be like, get me out of here. Get me out of here. I mean,
come get me. And I played on the heartstrings like
place I don't belong here. And, you know, I did. I did. But yeah, it's like, just stop. I'm not faking anything anymore.
I'm me. This is my experience. This is who I am. And all I can do, they love me anyway. And I love them anyway.
So that's kind of how it is.
Being authentic is very important because if you don't, if you're not, then your children are comparing or, you know, it's like they're idolizing or comparing.
Comparing you to this unrealistic version. And that's the thing that's, you know, growing up in a small town.
Everybody swept all their things under the rug, which makes it seem it's, you know, it's like, okay, well, yeah, you don't have to air your laundry and public all the time.
But you have to be honest with your family. Otherwise, you're creating this false thing. Like, you know, it's good to share that you went through, you know, how it's because otherwise your kids are going through life thinking there's something wrong with them.
Because your life's perfect. There's it isn't. They don't. And that's the thing is then that they would be scared to communicate things with you that they went through.
So then there's no authentic relationship because they're, they're fearing and I had that issue with my parents.
I didn't share stuff with them. And until recently, because of fear of being judged or yelled at or looked down upon. So it's like, well, why would I want to share something with you if you're going to just use it against me or in some way, right?
Like, so it's being authentic is very powerful.
Yeah. And I, I say things to people. I mean, I had, I had lunch with a friend.
We've known each other for 25 years and we've gone to like, you know, girls weekend at the beach and, and you know, there's drinking and all kinds of stuff involved.
And we're sitting across the table. I actually say it in any setting. Oh, yeah, I've had addiction issues and they look at me like what I've known you for 25 years. I'm like, Oh, yeah, I'm really good at hiding stuff. Like, I'm an absolute pro.
But I say it in settings. Like I said it to a business owners, one of my larger clients.
And I mean, he, he was like floored that I just say things as a matter of fact, just as if I'm saying, Oh, the door looks nice.
I say, you know, I just say, oh, yeah, I struggled with addiction. He's like, well, you hide it well. I go. Yeah, I know.
Yeah.
And you know what I used to do the same. Oh, you're back.
I am, but you guys should start your on radio show. I'm enjoying it. Keep going.
Well, I was just going to finish saying to birdie boat hide being able to hide the addiction too. And that's the thing is that some people are really good.
Like, I think I mentioned it before that like I would be able to like, I, you know, people couldn't tell. I just put on a persona.
Like I'm happy, go lucky, like smooth talker and nothing, nothing bothers me. Everything rolls off my back. You know, and like I could show up on my motorcycle.
You know, already having had six beer and nobody would know. But that's not healthy. That's not cool. I'm not proud of it. But that's that's where I was at.
You know, that's called having a tolerance for I could drink 14 beers like nothing.
Like it was. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
You too. I was. It's true. Like it's it is putting on this persona and the people that have known me for like, that's that shedding process.
You know, you've got to, you know, when you're climbing that ladder, I can't skip any of this. And now I just own it.
And I think actually people are more attracted to me than before because I don't come across as little miss perfect that I thought that I had to be.
Like I say stuff and people are like, never know what I'm going to say. Neither do I. I never know what I'm going to say. It just comes out.
And, you know, even back in the drinking days, apparently I was very funny and very entertaining as I am now. But I was, you know, I remember half of it.
And I was like, Oh, I was that funny. And so they just like always wanted me to be there. But then it started to become the point where like, am I everybody's entertainment?
Like, Oh, you're going to postpone the party because I can't come. Like it started to become a job.
Like, that makes sense. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, that's how it was for me too. Like, you know, I was DJing and stuff. So everybody's like, you know, it was just like persona like, Oh, I'm going to show up with awesome music and turntables and and like, it's, but now it's just no.
It's totally different.
Yeah. Yeah. And it does. It becomes like, like you said, it's all a persona. And it's like, it's, we feel so crappy about ourselves that
we're, oh, everybody loves me except me. Right? You know, I'm so glad that every single person that meets me loves me because I was a chameleon. It was like, Oh, like I could get those people like I have a really fun, like colorful life that I have hid.
I tell my, I tell my family. I tell people stories. They're outrageous. Like, I can't believe I did that. Like, it's just, but it's like mostly being oblivious.
Like, I just like, la, la, la. Everybody's wonderful. And here I'm like, sitting across the table from some guy who's wanted by the US Marshals and I'm having coffee like it's nothing.
And then he gets arrested and I'm like, Oh my gosh, I just, I just sat across.
Totally.
Stories. He's like, Mom, you're crazy in a great way. I'm like, yeah, I actually am.
That's really good. I am.
I love what you guys are sharing and it's resonating with me in different ways.
My, my family, my biological dad did not have an addiction problem, but both of my stepfathers did.
And it was alcohol. And so I have always, I've always been on the other end of that as the child of that going on.
And it was interesting because both stepfathers I bonded to, when my mom and biological dad divorced, I was only two and a half.
So I really didn't know that well. And so the stepfathers who I bonded with.
And so the heartbreak of what you saw going on with the abuse of your mother or whatever, however it happened,
my mind just happened to be that. Not everybody is abusive when they're in alcoholic. So let me just put that out there.
Yeah.
And so that was another sign of it. And so whenever I hear of someone that, that, you know, has had that issue, that's, that's one of the things that I had to shed.
Because it's like that's judgmental. Not everybody is the same. Even though they may have a challenge with something over eating,
shopping, alcohol, drugs, whatever, whatever your go to hit was, let me put it that way.
Not everybody is the same or reacts the same or is the same.
For instance, you know, Karen, you were saying you were the life of the party. Everybody wanted you there.
That was not the experience that I had on the receiving end of, you know, two stepfathers.
So it's a really good conversation that you guys opened up to. I'm going to have to tell we, we thank you. I'm bleeding now because she, she swiped me.
Oh, that's fine. She she's so she's got hypodermic needles for her little little claws and she is fast. She's like she to fast.
And and so she she came in here and got on the little platform behind me so I could talk to her while you guys were while you guys were talking and I was petting her and everything.
And and I was kind of playing with her and of course swipe and I'm like, oh, okay. Well, there you go. I'm bleeding. Not bad. But anyway, that's life of being a cat mom.
So but anyway, keep going, keep going because this is really a good conversation and I think a lot of people need to hear.
Just because just because we are on the radio and we're doing things doesn't mean that we're still not shedding and growing and doing and
I like the conversation. Let's just take it. Take it where it wants to go.
Well, it's a beautiful path. Okay, go ahead, Rob.
No, I was just going to say it's the easiest and toughest work you'll ever do because it's tough to get it's tough to transition, you know, to like you said, shed your old life like
It's difficult because you're going to be doubting yourself. Like, what am I doing? Like, you know, like, especially if you break up with somebody that, you know, you thought they were the one and like, there's not just the one, you know, like, maybe there's twin flames and that changes, whatever, however you want to look at it. But
just shedding your old life. It's it's it's really, really tough work. But then you get to the point where it's, man, this is easy. This, why didn't I do this years ago?
So it's it's like this double edged sword, you know, like it's the toughest but easiest work you'll ever do. And that's that's all I wanted to say.
Yeah, it's good. Go, Bertie.
Yeah, I agree with that. I do. And like, you know, sunshine, what you mentioned too, and you could grow up
in a household and with somebody, you know, I've had alcohol parents as well. And, you know, Monday, you do something and you get a laugh. You do the same thing on Wednesday and get smacked. It's like, okay. And as a kid,
then you start to learn. And that's where the persona comes in. I have to be everything to everybody. I have to be, you know, this way I could be, you know, maybe rougher around the edges in a certain crowd that, you know, you know, the air is
a little, you know, the area I'm from. I can probably turn that accent on pretty quick. So please do.
I can't understand it. Where'd you say, but do it?
I was like, I actually was I was away and.
Yeah, it doesn't really matter. Everybody kind of has an idea where I'm from.
And I was at the beach and I wasn't in the air, you know, in this area. And there was this southern person that was sitting at the counter. I was at breakfast and we were just having a really good conversation and just having a good conversation.
And just chit chatting away, drinking our coffee. And he says, well, where are you from? And, and, and Rob, you'll, you'll understand this. I have a certain hockey team tattoo on my ankle.
So anyway, it kind of goes with her nickname.
Anyway, keep going.
And so I was, you know, you could see it. So I was sitting there and the guy says to me,
I told him where I'm from. And he turns right around because you hide it well. I'm like, I started like, say this word, say that word. And I just kind of, we were joking around, but just to be authentic and to just be funny.
And just have fun, but to not worry.
Hey, if I say this, is this this person's not going to like it. I mean, that's that's why I was so good in business because I could be everything to everybody.
If this person is a Democrat, I can be a Democrat. This person's a Republican. I could be a Republican. I'm not even act like that, but just not let them know anything.
And everybody thought that I was everything. And then they made, they made their assumptions and I just let them think what they want it.
Right. Right. It's like, it was just kind of, and now I'm just me. And if they don't like it, then there's the door. I mean, I'm firing clients and it's so fun. It's like, you know, I don't like you.
I do both with you. I don't really care. Like the money doesn't mean anything to me. Yeah. If the met, if the energy, I want to deal with people who are men and energy match. Like, you know, I just, I just, I don't want to be in authentic anymore.
And if someone called, you know, means to one of like someone that works in my office, you got to go. Don't go mean to people. Like, if you're nice to me, because I'm the owner and you're mean to somebody else, because they're not, then, you know, I'm inviting you to leave and go somewhere else. And people are just shocked.
Oh, I'm really sorry. Can I stay? I mean, it's so crazy that I'm like a business owner, Tom, and then go, you know, hit the bike. Yeah.
I know we're going in different directions, but the old me. Yeah. Would just be that people pleaser.
Same. Just allow terrible treatment, allow bad behavior, because I didn't, I didn't love myself. So, you know, you mentioned twin flames. I don't think, you know, in my opinion, who can really, truly find a twin flame until you do the inner work first.
You got to put your inner self back together and really know who you are in your heart, in your light, not the external you, the internal you. Yeah. And that's all of us has to do that.
That's good. Yeah. And you can't do it. And it's like, I don't want to say isolation per se, but I guess that's the way you got to do it. Like, I had to do that to myself. And it was really tough, you know, like I had to say, you know, to certain friends.
And then also, I just had to, you know, it breaks my heart because one of my friends ended up passing away. And like the last few times you reached out to me, I never responded. And it's not because it's just because we were at different places.
And I just didn't even have the capacity to say, no, I don't want to hang out or know I'm going through a tough time or I don't want to do that anymore. Not that I don't want to see you.
But it was just like, I can't even reply to this person and they're like sending me messages there. You know, is everything okay? How could I haven't heard from you? Like, and I just, I have, I didn't have the capacity to even say that. And we were like best friends, you know, at one point. And, and it was, that was the toughest thing on me. It's like, what am I doing with my life? Like, and but I had to let it all go. I had to isolate. I had to start figuring out what was underneath all the facade, you know.
And stop shouting yourself. I should this. I should that, you know, I really should reach out.
That's these kinds of things are happening with me now. Like some of the friends that I've separated from. And it wasn't like there was a big falling out. It was like, I'm going on this journey. You all think I'm a little bit nuts and that's okay.
But we sort of separate it. And then, you know, someone else had let me know that this, you know, they have health issues and, and then I get in my head again for a second where I'm like, do I have to reach out? Like, what do I do? Like what?
We haven't spoken in six months. Do I open this up? Is it cruel? Is it mean? And then that's the inner work, you know, not asking people's opinions. Do I call them? Do I reach out? Do I get them, you know, a gift card? Do I make them a casserole? Like, you know, those kinds of things.
It's like true because the old me would have been, you know, I keep referring to it, but I'm just so different that anybody that was going through anything in their life. I think Sunshine gets it. Like, you know, as far as how like we talk more Rob, not that you don't get it, but I'm saying like she, her and I get the pleasure of speaking more often.
So she kind of knows if she even said, I need a box of tissues and I can't get them, I would be sending her a box of tissues. Like that was, you know, that's kind of how it is.
And I have to really learn that I, it's not my, not saying responsibility, but it's really not my place to always insert myself into everybody else's trauma situations or.
And so, you know, this one was tough. I found out that someone was sick and it's aggressive and, but I had to make the decision to just not reach out because I am not ready.
I, it's not the right thing. We haven't spoken. We, I finally was able to get through that. So those type, those types of things. It's, and like you said, Rob, it's the inner work.
I mean, going, going off to the beach by myself. I have to do those things because I'm around a lot of people and I call Jedi training every time. Like, some little tax me.
I'll be like, Jedi training in progress. Like, I can't really talk to anybody for a week because I have to, it's uncomfortable for me to be alone because I haven't been alone for 30 years. Right? Yeah. Yeah.
That's really go ahead. Yeah. No, go ahead, Centre. I was just going to say that's really good. I was going to take it to the beekeeper post on for the people. So go ahead and finish and we'll take it there.
Well, I was just, I wanted to share a story about like, you know, I was kind of the same way, but I, if, if there's, you know, like, and it's about not beating yourself up for that, you know, because it's like, if there's no such thing as time of space, there's just spirit and now every now moment.
It's like, it's really happening now somewhere else. So it's like, if you're beating yourself up, you're judging your former self, but that person, I was like that person too, but there was also value in it. And like, it's like, if you're the, you know, Centre, I mentioned today, anchoring the light, if, if we're not there, then who is kind of thing?
Because I remember one of my friends, one of my best buddies, he's a super tough guy. Like, just one of those dudes, like, you know, and one time we were together and I hadn't seen him in a while because I moved away.
And he said, I need to talk to you. And I was like, oh, he never usually says that sort of thing.
It's like, you know, tough guy, like we always joke around and we were very open and honest. But, and so, and like, we stepped outside of, you know, the party and we went to a different room and he had like a tear in his eye.
And I was like, Oh my God, like, is everything okay? Like, I've never never seen this guy like this before. But he's like, I need your opinion on something.
And so he, I'm not going to share what he shared with me, but it was very like, it was, it was something that wasn't easy to deal with, let's say.
And, you know, it was, it had him really disturbed. Like he had tears in his eyes and he's like, and I'm like, well, why are you asking me what to do? And he said, because I know that you'll tell me the truth.
Because everybody else was like, you should go do this. You should get back at them. And, you know, like, F this and F that you, you know, and he said, he's like, because I know that you'll tell me like what may be what I need to hear.
I forget exactly what he said, but like the truth or what I need to hear or, you know what I mean? And I was like, I told him, I was like, you need to let slide. You need to think about your daughter. You need to think about yourself and not your ego or whatever it was, you know.
But it was just an honor to me that he, he like, I didn't know that he felt that way about me, you know, like, even though I would always, sometimes I put on a persona, I was always like, birdie said, like, I didn't, I didn't mince words.
I didn't, I wasn't afraid to say what people were thinking. And, you know, now I don't necessarily blur out everything that I'm thinking or say, you know, or whatever. But it's good to just to be authentic as much as you can.
Right. And that's a sign of growth for those of us that are on this walk because, you know, we're all in those different rungs on the ladder. And, you know, I may be a couple of rungs below where you are on one thing, but I may be a couple of rungs ahead on another thing.
And so that's where, you know, that picture, gosh, it was on for the people a long time ago, but where they were climbing the hill and there was a flag on top and there were people that were doing the arm chain reaching down, reaching down, reaching down to help the last person get up.
Yeah.
That's kind of how I see it sometimes on the ladder. It's like, damn it, guys, I'm having a tough time with with charm.
I need some help. I need, I need some people to, you know, bring some source force energy and help me, help me figure out how to, you know, either, either, you know, we, you know, we work on the healing or we work on the transition, either one, whichever one he wants.
I'm, I'm there, but I'm having a tough time.
You know, that can just love him.
And that's what I'm doing. I do.
That's all you can do is just love him.
Yeah. And that's what I'm doing.
You're doing exactly what I'm doing. And I'm going through a lot of, I need some paper towels, birdie. I'm going through a lot of paper towels.
Okay, got you.
I'm going to next box coming your way.
But anyway, the beekeeper really spoke to me on for the people that space and the, the shoon yatta.
Oh, fabulous.
Anyway, I wanted to, I wanted to get on this because you guys touched on this. I'm going to read a little bit from the beekeeper on for the people that space.
It said,
Q, our friend has also voiced concern about the Galactic Federation saying the majority of silos within the large Galactic Empire parentheses, which is no longer technically in control of this end of the galaxy.
Close parentheses are still not fulfilling the support required for planet Earth to be free.
And then in red, it says, these are not our saviors. They're our enslavers.
And then back in black font, it goes, we are at the point in Ascension where hard facts like these must be presented for humanity to gain more discernment.
So that's kind of what we're all talking about is, you know, people are coming to us because they see the light and they, they, they need help discerning.
And it goes on and it says, almost everything you've been taught to believe is false.
Well, I know how that shifted for me. I know how that felt. And can you imagine how all those people might, might, this is my paradigm, how those people in church that I'm going to church with, can you imagine what they're feeling and how they're going to feel when all this, it hits the fan?
And it goes, there's nothing more powerful than your spirit, capital S. There is nothing as important as your very own capital L light.
All you require is your own spirit light. And this is what the Galactic Federation are going to work very hard to make sure you don't remember or believe.
And it goes on in another part of it. It says, we are heading into the main part of the battle between the crumbling, satanic dynasty and the rescue team, the creation lightship.
The crumbling dynasty are shown in Star Wars as the Galactic Empire known today as the Galactic Federation who pose with all their might and dwindling power as the good guys.
The creation lightship is represented by the Jedi Knights, Miss Jedi in training and their light ships.
And it says, if the Galacti, and this is in red, if the Galactic Federation were truly benevolent, they would remove the electronic force screen that electrocute spirits every time they leave their body to totally wipe all memory.
And they would turn off the mind control weaponry and they would stop inviting more negative aliens into harvest humanity. That has not happened.
And it goes back into black font. The main show about to erupt with alien disclosure will bring out many different alien groups.
Most all in capital letters, pining for control through magic tricks and fakery. I love that word fakery. It's so fun to say.
It says, remember, for thousands of years, these satanic Galactics seeded this prison planet in such a way that it would be impossible to regain your memory or have the courage to leave or stand up to your enslavers, all capital letters, or know the difference between true divine light and false light, red font.
With the Jedi here now, humanity has a chance to break free. It's up to each individual to clearly see by making choices with the direction of their own capital as spirit.
They're only true compass. And then it talks about the White House beehive and it goes into talk about when President Trump sent out this video of the new beehive that is like a White House replica, but that's the beehive inside.
It's shaped like the White House. This was a massive calm that quote President Trump is now the keeper of the beekeepers end quote. This is capital letters not to rule them. It's to dissolve them.
He's the keeper of the control faction on the planet Earth now. And he's taken the worker bees, which are us, and to his loving care to give them a new home to heal and fly free.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I just, there's going to be a lot of bakery that comes out. And so that's why we're talking about the different wrongs on the ladder and doing your own inner work. And, and even if it's even if you don't know where to start, it's just, it's just going within and just commanding your spirit to increase your life force energy to help start breaking away the stuff and to start bringing more, more, more life, more force.
More energy into your, into your being to help you discern because there is going to be fakery and it's only thing to be afraid of because as you hear, he's the keeper of the control faction on the planet Earth and he's taken the worker bees into his loving care to give them a new home to heal
and fly free.
And that's really cool. And, you know, I've always, I think I've mentioned before, like I loved magic as a kid like I did.
I did magic. I was a magician. I got paid to do it. A couple shows when I was, you know, when I was younger and then I kind of, it wasn't cool when I was 17, you know.
Yeah.
It was cool. It was cool at parties. But like, anyways, but that's a big part of magic that that I really loved was that there was a big group of people in certain magicians that worked really hard, even Houdini, I think to a certain extent.
On exposing, you know, a lot of the, like fake conjures or people that were manipulating others, like pretending that they're, you know, contacting people from the afterlife and things like that. Right. So there was a big, a big aspect of magic was proving others were faking it or, or, you know, missed, you know, pardon upon misdirection.
But I think that's really interesting in that some, the amount of magic being like magic tricks and, and things that we've been fooled and duped with is almost incomprehensible to people because it's just, it's a really, it's really tough journey to get there, you know, even myself, someone who, and everybody else, it's, it's a lot to process.
You know, it's very a lot. Like, even myself, like there's times of the past few years when I really started getting into it where it's like, man, this has been a lot of time.
And this is bananas. Like, what, what am I doing? I go for a really long walk. But yeah, it, it makes sense. You know, like your brain, the human mind doesn't want to, like, because we're so conditioned and so mind controlled, it's like, no, that can't be true, you know, and then, but then you go within and go into your heart.
And you're like, Oh, man, it is, you know, and so you have to accept it, but it's a lot, a lot to process. And I think that that's the good thing about like birdie was saying about being authentic on the journey to say, to let people know what the heck you're doing.
What the heck you actually went through so that they don't feel crazy and do something silly because they feel, you know, the people around them.
Crazy or whatever. So they don't do something negative, right? Right. And I agree with that. One thing I know of, and I can only speak for me.
The one main thing that I have battled down here on earth is fear, but it's like kind of a reverse or it's not like fear of like, you know, it's more of a covert fear, if that makes sense of that.
I don't know. And so when people share their experiences, I have to be careful because it can cause me to take three or four steps back as opposed to jump in and want to go further.
So I have to be careful little ears. There's a song in church. Be careful little ears what you hear. You know, be careful little eyes what you see, you know, that kind of thing.
And so I have to be careful what I let in because it, it frightens me. And then that's like, Oh, great. I've got more work to do. Okay. Now I've got to work on the fear thing.
So that's why on the show, when we share our experiences, we don't get into the deep dark and dirty of everything, but we will tell you kind of what's going on with Sherman.
But you know, you guys know I'm having some challenges, some, some opportunities, I would say. But I don't know where I was going with that.
But I guess, I guess for all of us that are on the show, let me say to the listeners, I'm pretty protective of who I let on the show.
No, I'm not pretty. I'm very protective of who I let on the show. Why do you let me in then?
What am I doing here? I'm a crazy lady. Well, that's right. Because I need crazy ladies on here and I need, I need crazy guys on here because they need to see real.
They don't need to see fake and they don't need to see somebody that knows how to quote the word or quote, you know, quote whatever, but they haven't done the work.
And so I'm pretty, I'm really protective of what, what I put out there because I feel a wee bit responsible because you know it's, you know, with less talk and it was, you know, my name put on it.
And so it's, it's an honor and such a privilege and so humbling whenever I hear you guys just take it and run because I know that that's what source needs to put out there.
And I know that it's kind of a push pull. It's kind of a yin yang. It's kind of a let it flow. Sometimes, sometimes we might get calls and I don't feel that we can take the calls very rarely do I take calls because I'm sensing where source is going.
And it's not like a sources this it's more of just that inner knowing. Okay, I see where this is going. Okay, let's just let's just work this out. Let's just let it run. You know, give the horses the reins, you know, okay, horse go, you know, run with it.
And so I just want my listeners to know how so important they are to us because I personally, I don't know about you guys, but I personally, we do life for a reason.
I do life for a reason because I can feel them pulling on me. I can feel them yearning for what, what we're putting out there and what are they saying and where are they and and that kind of thing.
And so for that, thank you for being authentic and thank you for not pulling punches when you guys share because it does truly, truly make a difference to our listeners. So my love to you both.
Oh, thank you. And you're welcome.
That's how we got there. It just started to happen. Didn't it Rob? It was just like, oh, let's just go there. Yeah. Yeah, it's great. I mean, I didn't, I had my headphones on so I didn't hear what you got.
So I just laid them on the table. So I didn't hear it until I got back to the to the computer, but it was beautiful. And yeah, I'm going to, I'm going to shift it a little bit. You guys that Shunyatta that was posted on for the people that space on May 12th.
Shunyatta is a Sanskrit word for purity and consciousness. And it's a state where inner stillness and silence invite your spirit to return and with it divine inner knowing of who you really are.
That is what I know. And speaking to my friend, Bertie, I know that's that I know that's the path she's on.
And to you, my sister, Bravo.
And to you, my sweet brother, I know you're on this trip. I know you're on this too.
So I love that quote that that Jacob said, Jacob Collier said, thoughts are a few steps away from reality because we're always having that, you know, thought come in or a monkey mind situation happen and we're all like,
saying it, why do we have to keep doing, you know, you know, head to heart drop or whatever, because if you're having thoughts, you're just a few steps away from reality. Get back to your heart center. Get back to your heart center.
Get back to your heart center. And I just thought that was such such a beautiful quote. And that's really the whole post. That was it. But it was so powerful.
And so sometimes even whenever a thought comes in, aka Sherman, I just say the word.
The Sanskrit word, I just say, shunyata shunyata. That sounds like a swear in a different language.
I know right. I was like, she's using her swear words in a.
Yeah, yeah. It's beautifully right. It's so pretty. It's beautiful curse word.
Like a little neck.
So I just, I just wanted to get those two in there. For the people.
On fire, right? On fire.
Oh, my gosh. I cannot wait to.
I don't know what dimension I will meet her on that that's that beautiful spirit, but I am I will be so excited to to interact.
Yeah, those articles. And of course, ever since the beekeeper one came out, I see like that I sent you guys that little thing everywhere I go.
I mean, I guess because we're creators and we see these things, but the one little note I wrote down earlier when you were reading that article, as you mentioned, you know, the people in the church.
Well, listen, I mean, I went to 12 years of Catholic school. We'll wait 13 because the kindergarten.
Right. And through 12th grade, I was in Catholic school. So for me to be where I'm at right now is like, and I was, I went to church. I took my kids to church. Like, I was all in.
I drank the coolly like it didn't resonate with me, but it was like everybody else's. So I guess I have to be like a super Catholic too. And so, yes, but it's taken me a lot to get where I am.
So it is possible, even if you are in the church. I mean, it's not that the some of the stuff isn't beautiful. It's just, I don't do rules anymore. Rob, you get it. Like, you know, but for sunshine, you do too.
I mean, I can't stay in rules. Don't tell me anything because I grew up with so many rules, but it is possible. I never thought it would have been possible for me to be where I didn't even know this where I'm at even existed.
It wasn't. And so that's where it's like, there's hope for all for everyone who is seeking it. And that's, that makes sense. I mean, yes, yes, absolutely. Absolutely. Rob.
Yeah, no, I just like, yeah, the people I think.
So religion is comforting to the mind. It wants, you know, because it there, there again, we're dealing in time. Well, we don't really truly know or we've forgotten what happens after we die. Well, you know, we're going to go to heaven and Jesus is going to come save us and everything's going to be fine.
But that's not, you can't prove that. So it's comforting to the mind, but not to your heart. And so I feel like people stuck in church aren't really being honest with themselves because I was honest with myself a long time ago when I was 13, when I decided to leave saying this doesn't make sense.
I'm tired of the same stories over and over again. I'm tired. You know, it's like mind looping every year. We were going to Easter. We're listening to the stations of the cross. We're doing this. We're saying, singing the same songs.
Like, doesn't anybody not realize that this is Groundhog Day? You know, and so you have to be honest with yourself saying like, this is boring. This is, this is annoying at some point. This is, this is crazy. What are we doing here? And just be honest with yourself. And it's okay.
Because we're well, it's like Red Rover. Come on over to our side, you know, like, yeah, it's okay. It's okay. You can take off the water rings and it's time to swim.
Yeah. Yeah, it's interesting. I'm not even watching the time. I should probably be watching the time.
I think we have one minute left. Thank you.
Yeah.
Let us know for sure. Unless you fall asleep at the wheel.
I'm going to board him with all of them.
It does feel like kind of a bumpy ride this show. I don't know. T are you there?
Yeah. So that's pretty awesome. Yeah. I don't think any of us, I think I had my cuss work for the day. I said, dang it. But yeah, we did good today. We didn't.
We just wondered how much time we have T. Nothing's wrong.
So yeah, I just wanted to tell everybody that.
Sorry, T. That doesn't, that doesn't stand up for me. Sorry.
I just wanted everybody to know how.
Okay. I wanted everybody to know how important it is to do your own work.
These next, these next few years, I'm kind of sensing these next few years are big, big, big, big transition times.
And it's not to say that, you know, people can't make it afterwards. That's not what I'm saying.
But right now the energy is there to assist people and it'll be there to assist people later too.
But maybe the inertia, maybe that's what I'm trying to say. The inertia is here now and it's rolling.
And I guess Sunshine's desire would be that everybody, that we could take everybody with us, you know, to the upper, the higher difference.
And that's the thing, you know, some people don't want to come along.
They don't. They don't. And that's hard for loving, helping people.
You know, people, I want to take every, I can have this major information.
Like I have this this way. I know I learned all this and people, I mean, they actually pissed off.
Like seriously, like, you know, like, I have to watch it because I have learning.
It's not my place. They don't want that. They are creating their own reality and I'm able to watch it and say, this is what they want it for themselves.
And who am I to say that there's something better if they don't want that? And that was really difficult for me.
And that's a letting go. And that's, you know, keep your own house in order, so to speak.
Who am I? I want to bring everybody along and show them all the things.
But I still have, you know, we're always doing inner work. I don't think there's any, you know, we're always working on ourselves. And that's all we can do is lead by example.
And if somebody wants help or wants to come along, then we're here. I mean, we are way showers in a way because we're living this.
I mean, it's not like you said with the stories. I have to be careful because I will be careful. If somebody wants to hear it, then I'll tell them. But I'm not telling people if they don't ask for it.
Right. Right. And I totally agree with you that, you know, my heart, like you said, we as loving beings and as we press in more that love center, that heart center just grows and grows and grows and, you know, judgment falls away and all of that falls away.
And so then you just have this big heart of love that you want to share with everyone.
And you just want to gather up all the lost puppies. You know, kind of like, you know, just manifest all the lost puppies. Just take them with you. You know, come on, lost puppies. Let's go.
But yeah. But like you said, they don't want that. However, I will say this, we can still plant seeds just to use kind of an analogy. We can still plant seeds that will hopefully take root and grow later.
You know, and somebody else may come and water that seed. It's kind of a biblical principle, but somebody may come and water that seed and they may still come along.
It's just they may not come along on the timeline that we're on.
Yeah, that makes sense. Timeline. That's a bad word, but you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. Looks like we have one minute closing, closing words from the brilliant co hosts.
I have nothing today.
You're so smart. Looks like we just got, we're getting the hook. We're getting the giant hook.
Oh, we're getting the giant hook. It's like, wait, show yourself.
Show yourself yourself.
All right. Well, we love everybody out there. Thank you for your support. We could not keep this going without you guys. Love you. Love you. Love you. And we'll see you next week.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Yes.
Bye. Thank you.
Love you. Bye.
Bye.