Reclaiming Authenticity with Dr James Houck
Authenticity In The Days of Covid
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Reclaiming Authenticity: The courage to reclaim that which has always been in you.
No matter who we are, where we were born, and into what family we were placed, ours is a world full of relationships. Indeed, we are social beings who spend our lives making sense of our world by trying to find our place in the world. As social beings, it is often within the context of relationships that we experience tremendous pain and suffering. From overt acts of betrayal and cruelty that someone may have inflicted against us or vice versa, to simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time, many people bear the scars of physical, psychological, emotional, and spiritual wounds. And yet ironically, just as we experience our woundedness in relationships, it is also within the context of healthy relationships that we find our healing and authenticity. The difficulty, then, is often finding the courage to discover that which has always been in you.
For over 25 years, Dr. James Houck has been helping people discover their authentic selves by integrating spirituality into their mental and emotional health. As people are able to integrate these disciplines, they often discover core issues that have been keeping them wounded in relationships.
and now with over 25 years of experience dr. James house<br>okay well hey happy Friday good afternoon everybody wherever you are in the world at this time welcome to reclaiming authenticity helping you find your courage to reclaim that which has always been in you very excited to be with you here the day every Friday at 3 p.m. Eastern Standard Time noon Pacific time and any other time I hear they're in between and each and every week these broadcast focus on the quite simply the integration of spirituality and mental health but there's so much more to it and it's all place within the context of ourselves and the relationship that we have with others and God and the Divine and more than just who are we when we look at ourselves in the mirror is but it's just you know what does it mean to be in healthy relationships with<br>another doctor James hauke and I'm getting so very happy to be here today and if you would like more information about me or you want me to leave leave me your comments about Today show I invite you to visit the website it's www. DDS radio.com reclaiming authenticity and these broadcasts are also podcast in case you want to go back and list again or if you want to go back into the archives and listen to the previous shows I invite you to do so just so you can also access those shows through the website as well now if you want to I'll call in and be part of Today Show again invites to do that today and if you just call the toll-free line 888-627-6008 that's 888-627-6008 and I want you to give me your insights your comments your Reflections your thought<br>whatever on today's subject who was that masked man authenticity in the days of covid<br> authenticity of the days of covid and this is part of what the reclaiming authenticity does each and every week I Know Places these themes or these subjects within the context of disintegration of our mental health and our spirituality and I just want to say just a little bit more about myself that one of my firm belief is that we all come into this world fully equipped and graced with everything that we need in this life in terms of our skills or talents are giftedness our strengths are our character traits personalities and so forth and these things we don't often realize whether you store things the very best parts of ourselves we don't trust or these things that we come into the world with maybe dudas<br> but unpleasant experiences we may feel that we need to hide that giftedness about us or hide our skills and you know you may be sitting there wondering why would anybody want to do that if they realize that they're good at something why would they want to hide that why wouldn't they want to bring it out in the open and share with others well think about it this way<br> how many times were you told growing up that you would never amount to anything or you know there was nothing special to you or you know you made people uncomfortable because you started to act through your gifts and talents and strengths and character traits and so forth and as a result of other people being nervous or not knowing how to take you they started to shame you or they started to lay a bunch of guilt on you and that depending on how old you are at the time you may or may not have known how to handle that and so you just said well I'm never going to show that again I don't want to open myself up again to being humiliated or to being embarrassed or if more more people are telling me that there's really nothing special to me then maybe I should start to believe it too<br> and that's unfortunate because when we have that within us or let me let me say it this way whenever we find ourselves wanting to push down our giftedness are Graces our talents are strengths are our uniqueness we go through life functioning from that place of woundedness and or a place of victimhood and we're not authentic in our relationships cuz we're always defensive and we're always looking to you know be on guard because we never know when somebody's going to say something that you know they may not agree with Ben Reed haven't quite learned to separate who we are from what we do or do not do and so we kind of lump it all together and say well because I can't or because I won't then that must in some way to say something about me<br> and that is not simply the case that is such a bogus message that comes from society but far too many people believe that but you know I'm just imagine if we reclaim those authentic places in ourselves that the very best parts of ourselves we can approach relationships the world and how we interact and and so forth from a place of healing and wholeness and we can certainly embrace our uniqueness are a Chad toss and when we're able to do this we can certainly encourage others to embrace the uniqueness or their own a chance OST that's you know very special about them and not look at it in terms of you know what somebody would intimidate us but looking at it as these are places where we celebrate we celebrate the gift Miss of one another we see<br> oh that uniqueness of one another is really meant to be a blessing for one another and these the relationships that we get into it and often hear these messages you know that they might just be within our own families or they might be you know people that work our co-workers and they might even be amongst our circle of friends but then again you do whenever we find that the transformation whenever we are able to embrace that uniqueness about ourselves we can also transform others by our presents are Grace and our understanding and and this is why I place reclaiming authenticity in in relationships cuz we are relational people<br> and when we think about it so you know it's kind of ironic that we often receive our deepest physical emotional psychological and even spiritual wounds in and through relationships<br> however we can also discover our greatest healing strength peace forgiveness and love through healthier relationships but first and foremost you know forgiveness kindness compassion begins with how we treat ourselves because certainly when we are compassionate with ourselves we then can in turn be more compassionate with others and when we are more forgiving of ourselves then we can be more forgiving with others and when were able to live in gratitude with ourselves than we discover how this really opens our hearts to see and to live in gratitude with others<br> so PS transformation first and foremost begins with us but it's also meant for the betterment of all<br> so how do we do this you know how do we how do we pick again how do we live this out how do we put this into practice well that's what the show is all about in a nutshell just helping you in first and foremost can kind of discover how to reclaim those things that which have always been in you and that awareness is key first and foremost to to understand that you are a gifted and Grace individual loved with an everlasting love from God one who knows us from the very beginning and knows us everything there is to know about us yet loves us unconditionally<br> that's powerful thing to wrap our heads in our hearts around but when we allow it to really sink down in in our hearts and our souls and really have a take Route it is transformative by you know yo absolutely and we in turn love ourselves unconditionally and then we are compelled to well then what do I need to do so that I can love others unconditionally and what's getting in the way of that what's stopping me from from being able to do that since it was shown to me and it showed being shown to me I hope all is well with you and I hope your heart is doing well today it but if you are struggling in one form or another I pray that you have an find rest I pray that you find comfort and I pray above all that peace would just gently<br> reassure you that you are loved unconditionally and if you're having a great day absolutely be sure to find a way to pass along that joy to a long on to another person you can something so simple as just that genuine smile can make all the difference in the world to another who is struggling to find acceptance peace and love and their life well you've heard me say many times on this show that I am a big fan of Carl Rogers he was back in the day a psychiatrist who found a person centered therapy. This was something that he developed and you know he didn't really have techniques for sex but the Rogers was the technique you know he just really perfected his presents with others and just your very much believed when he said with others and counsel them that he really strove to be his authentic self and then<br> just what did that demand of him and so one of the quotes that I thoroughly enjoy is just again how he places this authentic understanding in relationships any rights when the other person is hurting or confused troubled anxious alienated terrified or when he or she is doubtful of their self-worth or uncertain as to Identity then understanding on our part is called for<br> the gentle and sensitive companionship of an empathic stance provides a much-needed illumination and healing in such situations deep understanding is I believe the most precious gift we can give to another<br> certainly empathy empathy is something that can be conveyed especially during times of covid-19 are you single bout it it's often the simplest things in our lives that means so much to others whether it's a you know a kind word or a smile or a gentle not me these gestures mean so much and they cost nothing to share I mean it's like we're going to put $5 on the smile now it just naturally comes and you know it we just we don't know what's going on in another person so to say you know like well I don't really think that's smile was worth you know whatever it's not a matter of worth you know but it matters to the dignity value and worth of somebody else<br> so gestures kind gestures mean so much and they cost nothing to share<br> Carrie and these are life-giving behaviors that we cannot put a price tag on they are indeed the very things that people desire the most in life and relationships<br> and speaking of a gentle smile how many times this year have we been told that we should not forget to smile under our covid-19 masks because others can tell that we are smiling just by looking at our eyes<br> and I'm sure if you like me you've searched and the internet to try and just all the kind of like say we shall I say bougie face masks without their art of made from all different textures and so forth something that's going to keep the coronavirus at Bay but yet also has a lot of a certain style to in a certain flash to it but now we even have masks that your cover art are face you know or knows but they're clear on the bottom so for people who are hearing impaired you know I sound challenged that they could read lips and you know they can certainly say when a person is smiling and this is something that I know classroom teachers have been exploring more and more cuz just a lot of times they they talk all day with their students and they just want to be sure you know clear as to what they're communicating as well as how their community<br> so gentle smile or even just a deep deep smile goes a long long ways<br> now we can certainly make eye contact with others and you know smile under our masks and you know<br> I've tried this in grocery stores I've tried this and other stores I tried this at the gas station just a little experiments just people that I have never met just you're wearing my mask and just given them a big smile sometimes I say how you doing or sometimes morning or you have a simple greeting sometimes it don't say anything at all but I just smile and you know what when I make eye contact with that person they smile back to me it's almost giving them permission to like it's okay<br> we can be friendly we can smile just by looking at each other's eyes now our eyes indeed smile and it's not just in the eyes but it's also around the eyes that I've communicate to others that were smiling at that and I know that message is out there in society that there's all kinds of creams and ointments to get rid of laugh lines are crows feet or whatever you want to call him but I say look once you start with that stuff you're going to have to keep it up so you know what the laugh lines come in the crow's feet or whatever you call them because that tells me how you celebrate life how you not only look at life but how you smile and where does that smile come from you on the inside and these laugh lines you know that's that's what's supposed to happen. Just a matter of us getting old but I mean it's early the muscle<br> and the eyes that are you do that that pulled the skin and you know that these muscles contract when we smile and this is why are your eyes so often and appear too narrow when we have a genuine smile now some people Smiles are so large that they seem to disappear every time they do and even science has gotten in on the ACT science has done incredible incredible studies where they've looked at you know how people smile and how often how many times that they smile in a day but they also understood that<br> I got us not only the muscles around the eyes but it's also you know what happens during a very genuine smile and so one of the things that they noticed and with just a nonverbal communication is just around the dinners and one one researcher if which is just a fascinating study wise how are the eyes followed a certain pattern and other words whenever dinner guest smiled at each other it was very inviting and it helped one another relax and enjoy not only their meal but also their company and this article actually went one step further that the said that whenever we make contact with another person and we smile we also increase our levels of oxytocin<br> now oxytocin and not Oxycontin okay let's be clear on that but the oxytocin is also known as the love hormone and its associated with our emotional bonding and attachment and it increases the more people gaze at the region of the eyes and this is why when mothers and their newborns make eye contact that bonding is right there it is very very powerful for establishing very healthy attachment behaviors<br> there's a certain book out there it's called the moral molecule the moral molecule and author Paul Zach dr. Paul Zach says that when the brain releases oxytocin it actually creates what he calls a virtuous cycle he says you know oxytocin generates empathy which in turn drives moral behavior and in turn creates more trust which then releases oxytocin which generates more empathy which in turn creates more trust and so on and so on and so on he says it's just a virtuous cycle so whenever we make eye contact with another person we smile at them oxytocin is not only released in us but it's also have released in them<br> and this is why when empathy and compassion and friendliness you know when these things are modeled for others you know within kind words or behaviors it's very catching your people are inclined to want to do the same for others and then is its true kindness is contagious which brings us to the very Heart Of The Matter today and just as masks are very much part of our lives there often portrayed in movies or other cultural expressions it's just it's just fascinating you as a culture how we get caught up with just wanting to wear masks and you know maybe not the masks that cover our nose and mouth but other masks as well that that went to hide our identity and The Tail Of The Masque of the Red Death was from Edgar Allan Poe great story by the way something to read just on Halloween<br> but anytime you find it again several movies have been made about the post hail here but he said that pretty much everybody in a certain town was invited to a grand masquerade ball and a host of this ball was named Prospero and Prospero was told in secret that in spite of everything you own and what you do Prospero death is going to visit you that night and he was so unnerved by this that he he spends the entire night trying to figure out his identity you know who is this you know The Masque of the Red Death why is death showing up at my masquerade ball and 8 I won't give away the whole thing but he's food in the end the the least likely character in The Masquerade turns out to be and maybe<br> a movie that came out long time ago with Jim Carrey The Mask and just lost fun great comedy that it was with the wearing the mask and how about the Broadway musical Phantom of the Opera where the Phantom was always seen wearing a mask and I dated him and his mistake and instilling fear into others and perhaps you've gotten down to Mardi Gras and you know if there's a lot of music a lot of dancing and of course people are wearing masks and these masks just cover a person's you know upper part of their their face so you just want to hide their identity and even and Chinese Opera you know the best worn by performers really help the audience just instantaneously recognize who are the heroes who are the villains who are the Allies who are the foes regardless of whatever scene is being played out at the time<br> well have you ever noticed that all masks have one thing in common that no matter how elaborate or simple the design they all Force us to ask the question maybe over selves but certainly have somebody else you know who are you who Am I who is this person behind the mask<br> and wearing a mask often as some level of Mesquite to go to an event or to an experience so sure yet it's it's fun to put on mass to see how we look or to have others you know try and guess who we are but I wonder what would happen if we became so comfortable wearing our masks that we decided to keep wearing<br> everyday<br> everyday<br> you know and I know you didn't ask to have this question that that pointed out to us as a who am I where who are you but also it raises this question how do I want to be seen<br> that really changes things doesn't it<br> cuz it's one thing to hide your identity from others to try and let them guess who you are but it's quite another thing to actively project how you would like to be seen by others and then therefore treated accordingly<br> well imagine for a moment and just play along at home here matching for a moment that you are holding in your hands a mask that projects to others how you would like to be seen can I give you a second here you got it you have to shape do you have the color<br> do you have the image okay go ahead and metaphorically put it on<br> how does that feel<br> what qualities do you admire about the mask you're wearing<br> and what is it about this mass that frightens you a little or a lot<br> now once you have the answers to those two questions you know let's let's ask ourselves a third question<br> what do I fear the most that others will know about me if I take off this mask<br> well they see my face<br> and if they do what will I see<br> but others simply see my face or perhaps maybe they'll see more<br> L will others know that when I wear this mask is is really because I I don't know who I am underneath and so therefore it's just too risky to show myself to others<br> and the nme this is these are real questions you know I think about it I mean in a very true sense we do wear a number of masks metaphorically speaking in any given day know what about at work you know the which dictates our behaviors what about at home<br> what about when we're With Friends<br> what about the masks we wear when were were with family members or shopping or out in public and some other venue<br> or do we put on a mask when we go to church or synagogue or mosque and what about a sporting event<br> as much as we want to deny it everybody where is the mass and everybody wears different masks at different times<br> so who are we underneath our masks<br> you know where Where Do We Begin the search for authenticity if we're constantly changing swapping out masks and so forth<br> well the different kinds of masks people wear everyday with something that really fascinated another psychiatrist Carl Jung and he was a contemporary of Freud and they were buddies back in the day until they have a little falling-out because when I get out if it turned out to be a contest between the the Good Ol Boys and you know people wearing masks and he called it the Persona now according to Jung the functioning Persona is part of a person's soul that means that the Persona is connected to the core of the person so in a sense in public we present an exaggerated version of ourselves which we hope will make an impression on on others and the character we display there in the in our jobs or careers is really not the same you know character that we display at home<br> in fact a young even went so far as to say that this Persona is more like a bridge to the outer world because it's how we adapt in dealing with the world await we may not like who we are or even know who we are so we look to society to help Define us and therefore help us find our place and if that's there it is to us and you know as as if you don't that's all we're ever going to be aware that that's what you know all there is to us I should say<br> and we run into a big problem once this happens you know it because many times a certain kind of behavior is forced on people by society and therefore people feel compelled to live up to his expectations which is a no-win situations you know and then there's like an get real here for a second it's it's certainly you know I see this time and time again with men men are told you have to act a certain way inside a you have to go around beating your chest and screaming at the top of your lungs and then coming across as aggressive and hateful and you know intimidating and it's like that<br> is not what masculinity<br> is all about<br> the same thing is true with women women are told that they have to be a certain way or do you have to you know I have a certain kind of behavior you know in order to be successful or whatever and you know that's not what femininity is either<br> so yeah it's a result of the people find that they cannot separate themselves from their Persona or their favorite masks they wear and they end up living their lives really not knowing themselves<br> and because people settle for an alternative version of themselves they also take on a narrative or a story that goes along with wearing a certain mask and John I see this time and time again when I I counsel others and I always come back to the example of a client one time where he was a carpenter and this was years and years ago when he was highly skilled and very proud of his work and when he introduced himself to me he identified himself with his profession he said hey I'm Rodger nice to meet you I'm a carpenter<br> and throughout our sessions he would use various carpentry terminology whenever he would describe himself or whatever he wouldn't he would say things like well I'm not sure but I've always tried to measure my life against the Plumb line of what was expected of me and sometimes you know it doesn't pay the cut across the Grain and the more he talked about his life in Carpenter language the more I kept wondering if he knew anything else let alone do they really know who he was<br> so one session you know we got on the subject I don't don't ask me how cuz I don't remember we just that showed up where you know I just asked him you do you know what would you like to be remembered for and you know in what's the one thing that he would like others to know about him apart from his life vest Carpenter and he really didn't know how to answer that and he never ask that question about himself<br> I took us a long time to work through that question because Rodger felt as if he would you know find his true self whatever that look like he would be disappointing and betraying his family promises and vows of always working with his hands to put food on the table which is a very Noble profession<br> but discovering who we are is not the same thing as how we live that out on a daily basis<br> and Boston time Society wants us to become more comfortable wearing their masks because we wouldn't want anybody to be comfortable with us or uncomfortable with us I should say but the society really want us to be so authentic that we don't need a mask metaphorically speaking<br> well hold that thought cuz I really want to hear your heart on this matter so again if you want to call in today that number is 888-627-6008 and I'll be taking your calls after the break again you are listening to reclaiming authenticity and I'm your host dr. James hauke be back with you in 1 minute<br> okay welcome back I am dr. James how can you are listening to reclaiming authenticity before we get back into the show I just want to say a quick word about next week's show you know Friday at 3 Eastern Standard Time doing Pacific Standard time that is going to be on body talk what we think we manifest body talk what we think we manifest guy so be sure to tune in Next Friday afternoon to listen to reclaiming authenticity stop the show I should say that we were talking about various masks that we wear in life and you not only do these masks have this question of who I am but also how do I want to be seen you know and that that really changes things because it's it's one thing to hide our identity from others and yelled like it you who am I going to let them try to guess who we<br> but it's quite another thing to actively project how we would like to be seen by others and then being treated you know accordingly well as I said at the end of the first half as many times as Society wants us to the be more comfortable wearing masks because you know they don't want us you know anybody needs anybody else to be uncomfortable with us a lot of people buy into that and lot of people hide their authentic selves because while I don't want to offend I don't want to make people nervous and you know I don't want to be seen as coming across as you do Boulder or brass or or you know just so you know the full of myself and it has nothing to do with that<br> yeah because if you are truly authentic with yourself truly authentic in your relationships<br> you're not going to come across as arrogant you're going to come across filled with humility<br> you're going to be humble because you know where that authenticity comes from<br> and that's the part that's very attractive to others<br> you know it's it's just something when we sit with this metaphor of the masks that we wear or the Persona that young had had talked about the last century I should say but it's not only you know Shield our identity from others but also there may be times when you know we would want to wear a certain mask metaphorically to Shield us from experiencing for their pain and our life now if you're old enough out there you probably remember the old Simon and Garfunkel Song that came out a long time ago early seventies so yeah long time ago lyrics and just you know listen to the pain and and how a person who adopts this kind of mask<br> wants to be shielded from experiencing any further pain or just disappointment and their life says a Winter's day in a deep and dark December I am alone gazing from my window to the streets Below on a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow I've built walls of build a fortress Steep and mighty<br> that none may penetrate and I have no need of friendship friendship causes pain it's laughter and it's loving I disdain<br> don't talk of Love well I've heard the word before it's sleeping in my memory and I won't disturb its Slumber of feelings that have died if I have never loved I never would have cried<br> I have my books and my poetry to protect me I am shielded in my armor hiding in my room safe within my womb I touch no one and no one touches me I am a rock I am an island<br> at a rock feels no pain<br> and an island never cries<br> this is how it is for many people<br> and then again it's one of these<br> ironies in life that we often spend our lives and metaphorically drinking poison but we expect others to get sick<br> nothing comes in<br> nothing goes out<br> but in order to find our authentic selves in order to heal from this we all need to release ourselves from these statements<br> I will never<br> and what breaks these statements and was being honest with ourselves as we take off that mask that Shields us from any and all psychological emotional physical and spiritual<br> what mask have you worn throughout your life<br> which ones are you comfortable with<br> which ones would you like to be released from<br> it begins with<br> placing ourselves from these in her statements I will never<br> what would happen if we became so comfortable wearing our masks that we decided to keep wearing it everyday<br> now that the danger is that we're so shielded from others and then from ourselves that we'll never get to a place of authenticity with ourselves let alone in our relationships with others<br> I mean that is a powerful song that Simon & Garfunkel came out with<br> but the words are still true today<br> and so are the shows the pain that people experience or have experienced<br> and being in relationships that have brought about that pain unhealthy relationships a lot of people just say you know what I'm done I don't want to place myself in this relationship anymore because I don't want to open myself up to that kind of pain that kind of disappointment that kind of frustration that kind of misery because he had let's be honest I don't know what love is. Because I don't trust it<br> and they never realize that they could find all the positive things of the healing and the grace and the truth and the Love by not only you know Finding Haley gun themselves but also finding healthier relationships<br> see when we discover our authentic self when we start living as an authentic self one hand we assume then that are of Interest they should Shield us from any at all negative reactions from others and that this is to be expected at times because along with authenticity there also comes as authentic energy and this will create an effect in others<br> have you talked about something that's catching something talk about something that's that that that attracts or draws others you know just look at the way I kind smile or gentle word will do that I mean something will be drawn to you when you find your authentic self and others will not<br> but regardless when you no longer need an emotional psychological spiritual mask your authentic self will no longer be affected by the opinions were a camera reactions of others<br> and when others cannot affect your authentic self well it may not always go well for them<br> because they might just choose to remain miserable when healing is staring at them you do face-to-face<br> I've seen this many times and you know just certainly family Dynamics when one member of the family begins to change and others scramble to counterbalance the effect where they they struggled to maintain the dysfunction that they grew accustomed to<br> yeah they may feel intimidated because what authenticity demands them they might be disappointed they may feel betrayed or hurt or rejected but yet<br> our fullest potential<br> is waiting for us<br> and what gets in the way is our ego or Pride or arrogance unforgiveness anger rage wounds or unwillingness to forgive and release these winds as well as to be released from deep-seated burdens or or beliefs that are just very non-life giving we need to be released from guilt and shame and post on us by Society or family and it would be released from family secrets that you vowed to carry<br> one of my favorite metaphors I am a lover of trees I love the forest I love the woods and you know the oak tree is one of the strongest trees once also one of the largest trees out there and it starts off very very small it starts off with an 8-core and it's interesting fascinating really when you study the life of an acorn all you need do is put it in the ground nature will take over and as the seed begins to Sprouts and at the roots go down and anchor it firmly in the soil and it pops up above the soil and you leave it alone it will grow into a huge huge oak tree now something's get in the way of that and<br> are some things hinder its growth<br> but if we consider ourselves of we have everything we need just like that Acorn has everything that it needs to grow into a tall strong Oak we have everything that we need so that we can claim our authentic selves and live accordingly it's just a matter of getting things out of the way so that again that natural progression towards life and take over<br> because of her naps we said at some point in our lives that I will never trust another person or I will never forgive that person<br> I got said those things too and I just and I realize that I just ended up cementing myself in a very cold casket of bitterness<br> so how do we release ourselves from these beliefs that no longer service<br> but we have to begin by perhaps understanding the origins of where these beliefs and perspectives came from in the first place<br> and despite our perceived differences and one for you to look at others and we say well and we have differences and race and language religion and culture there is a common Native American expression that I come back to time and time again that really emphasizes this interconnectedness among all that we see and it's the talk to you or is it all are related<br> and this praise is understood by the Lakota Sioux people as an expression that extends to all of creation it's not just person-to-person I miss everything you know Humanity animals vegetation minerals elements land water Thunder fire wind sun moon stars Etc connected to one another and all affect one another<br> and for for too long and the humanity and we are guilty of this because we've been influenced by what what's in it for me kind of scenario<br> and as much as we've become enthralled by our gifts or giftedness we have to keep in mind that our talents skills blessings. Legend wisdom they are not meant for us<br> are not meant for us these gifts are for the benefit of others<br> chainsaw reclaiming our intensity compels us to ask do you know now how can I serve Humanity how can I alleviate suffering how can I speak up for those who do not have a voice because really this is what authenticity is all about<br> somebody even say that they're content with being who they are like okay but we all need to ask ourselves am I being authentic today<br> am I being honest and genuine in my relationships<br> and I still made many a people who say well I'm going to wait till I'm retired whenever that one day whenever that would be to do what I've always dreamed of doing but yet what are we waiting for<br> having all our bills paid having enough money in the bank<br> it's too many people and maybe you've even said this to yourself that I'll get around to it someday<br> and yet the vulnerable and the wounded people are the ones in need now<br> search hurting people need others to see in them their potential to live authentically including the benefit of reclaiming authenticity<br> perhaps people believe they have too much to lose to be authentic and it's like I can't afford to do that because that might just take me in a different direction then I might just take me in a different area of my life for I don't want to give up my job or whatever it is<br> you know or maybe they you know they do not know or fear that people will accept them as they are<br> you know perhaps they have a fear of being ridiculed or rejected shame ostracized shunned but again the Native Americans have a saying passed down from ancient times the strength of a tree comes not from growing thicker in the good years when there is water but from staying alive in the bag try X<br> when in doubt look to the a quart<br> we don't live in a time when as we focus on the virtue of stewardship the the one gift that we really need the Foster and treasures that the gift of our self our inner life and our spirit of resiliency it's not for ourselves these gifts are meant to help and be a blessing to somebody else<br> out there is Great Value in reclaiming our authenticity because we find that inner freedom and knowing that strength in that piece in the surance of who we are without giving away our uniqueness playing by somebody else's rules are definitions or expectations and for some finding that inner strength to stand on their own two feet empowers them to reach out for better relationships would it be in a better job or even to pursue Justice<br> I mean indeed those who are authentic often find God's greatest blessings<br> and I believe this is where the next great Spiritual Awakening is going to come from people finding the strength to reclaimed their authentic selves<br> there are people out there who have never heard of these Concepts me and let's be honest you know we we live in a nation that we are very blessed to have the means that we have to and the media capability to talk to one another and to share ideas and so forth<br> but what about the people who are not blessed with such capabilities<br> or what about people who again have been told one thing all their lives and they have no idea that there are actually very good things in them at the very best of those things have yet to come out<br> did I say they've been told like don't even bother looking because if we can't see it in you that nobody can or it's just simply not there and that's not true that's just simply not true<br> there is, developmental psychologists standpoint Erik Erikson he did developmental stages in our lives and one of the stage just which I see really brings into focus is a stage of people who are between 35 and 60 or maybe even a little bit older but somewhere around there sometime in between these ages that generation has a tendency to look back over its shoulder and it realizes that younger Generations are up and coming and it's interesting you having conversations with people in this particular age group and how they feel about you know the young uns as they put it or the Gen Z years I think that's what the degeneration at work right now the genzies and you know do you know how do you feel about them do you feel<br> like they're going to be okay do you feel like they're going to make it and a lot of times you know people you know depending on who you talk to it would say I don't really you know the kids these days blah blah blah blah blah and then again stems from perhaps that's what they heard when they were growing up and they couldn't wait to get started and you know these kids today and so forth but imagine what it would be like if we're able to look back on the generations who are coming up after us and we see that great potential in them that we see them as authentic human beings with all the gifts and Graces that they need. They come to this world with<br> imagine just how different the world would be if we could encourage them to let's go find those things together let's go find the very best parts of yourself and to be more supportive to be authentic in our relationships with them say I know you're not going to do it the same way that I did it but that's okay you will find your way because I have all the confidence in the world because you have everything you need<br> and plus the fact they're living a different times and you know the older Generations work you know it's just every generation is shaped by certain sociological factors however just because we're shaped by certain sociological factors doesn't mean that's the end-all-be-all to us either<br> so every older generation has the responsibility to reach back to the younger generations to purchase pass on words of wisdom you know I'm talk about the good old days but really encourage the younger generations to keep moving forward to keep striving to keep looking inward to find the very best of themselves because the younger Generations haven't seen anything yet<br> I neither of way<br> it's just when we think we found our authentic cells only found the very best parts of ourselves that compels us to den take a little bit deeper because there is a lot more to us than what we have discovered so far<br> I see you<br> I hear you<br> I see the potential in you<br> and this is what the younger Generations need to hear this is what you and I need to hear<br> they crave it they hunger for it they need it<br> so let us continue to search for our authenticity and to reclaim the very best parts of ourselves that we came in the world with<br> it is a joy that's to be celebrated because the joy is not just like hey look what I found but hey look how I can now serve<br> you been listening to reclaiming authenticity and I'm your host dr. James hauke I've enjoyed this afternoon with you and invite you to tune in Next Friday 3 Eastern Standard Time noon Pacific Standard time when we're going to be taking a look and having a nice discussion on body language how the body talks and just the different ways of where you at we create our authentic selves by what we think about ourselves in the meantime everybody take care please be safe and God bless<br> or just leave a thousand comments or product to buy a book by dr. hope it's all there just wander on over to reclaiming authenticity. Calm and we'll see you next Friday at noon Pacific Time on PBS radio TV<br>