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Reclaiming Authenticity, March 19, 2021

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Reclaiming Authenticity
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The real victims of a canceled culture

Reclaiming Authenticity with Dr James Houck

The real victims of a canceled culture

Reclaiming Authenticity

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Reclaiming Authenticity: The courage to reclaim that which has always been in you.

No matter who we are, where we were born, and into what family we were placed, ours is a world full of relationships. Indeed, we are social beings who spend our lives making sense of our world by trying to find our place in the world. As social beings, it is often within the context of relationships that we experience tremendous pain and suffering. From overt acts of betrayal and cruelty that someone may have inflicted against us or vice versa, to simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time, many people bear the scars of physical, psychological, emotional, and spiritual wounds. And yet ironically, just as we experience our woundedness in relationships, it is also within the context of healthy relationships that we find our healing and authenticity. The difficulty, then, is often finding the courage to discover that which has always been in you.

For over 25 years, Dr. James Houck has been helping people discover their authentic selves by integrating spirituality into their mental and emotional health. As people are able to integrate these disciplines, they often discover core issues that have been keeping them wounded in relationships.

Bi-Weekly Show
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8:00 pm CT
8:55 pm CT
Show Transcript (automatic text 90% accurate)

and now with over 25 years of experience. Dr. James house<br>okay well good afternoon everybody wherever you are in the world at this time welcome to reclaiming authenticity finding your courage the reclaim that which has always always been in you every Friday afternoon or 3 Eastern Standard Time and noon Pacific Standard time I am very happy to be with you here to share this hour with you and I each and every week as you know if you've been listening and following along these broadcast focus on the integration of spirituality and our mental health all within the context of our relationships with one another with ourselves and God or the Divine and the reason why relationships are so important because when you think about it it is through relationships where we often receive our deepest physical emotional psychological<br>and even spiritual wounds and yet the irony is that we can also discover our greatest healing and strength and peace and forgiveness and love through healthier relationships these relationships could be in a well within our own families co-workers colleagues friends other acquaintances and other authority figures in our lives because whenever we are able to transform and we heal from these wounds we also find that we can transform others simply by our presents are Grace and understand that there were other words just simply how we sit with people how we are around them how do we talk to them and so forth but first and foremost forgiveness kindness and compassion begins with how we treat ourselves because whenever we are compassionate with ourselves we can then be compassionate with other<br>and whatever we are forgiving with ourselves we can then be more forgiving with others and excuse me I had when we are able to live in gratitude with ourselves we don't discover how gratitude opens our hearts and we live in that gratitude with others<br> transformation first and foremost begins with us where is Henry now and used to put it just by paying attention to what's going on around us we are able then to discover that there are people who heal each other's wounds and forgive each other's offenses share their possessions were Foster the spirit of community and celebrate the gifts that they have received and live in constant anticipation of the full manifestation of God's glory<br> well I'm dr. James hauke and if you would like more information about me or to leave me your comments about Today Show invite you to visit the website that address is w w w b b s r a d reclaiming authenticity www. DDS reclaiming authenticity all one word and just in case you're not able to spend the full hour with me today that's fine because these broadcast are podcast it in case you want to go back and listen again or you can go back into the archives and listen to previous shows and if you would like to call Lynn and maybe a part of today show you to call the toll-free 988-627-6008 that's 888-627-6008 and I want you to give me your insights your comments and your thoughts on today's subject<br> victims of a canceled culture the real victims of a canceled culture this is a term has been been kicked around a lot over the years and I would have to say there's nothing new about it you know it's it's just repeating the same old patterns that have been found in in the history of humanity so I didn't invite you to call in and phone calls after the break but I'm going to bite you to call in whenever you feel that you would like to to talk about just who are the real victims of a cancelled culture<br> well all at all you know what if you've been following me for a while now you know that one of my firm beliefs is that all of us come into this world already equipped and graced with everything that we need in this life in terms of our skills or talents or strength of character traits giftedness so on and so on but yet as we go along in life and may be due to some unpleasant experiences we may feel like we need to hide the very best parts of ourselves because it's some points day goes very best things of ourselves as traits and so forth we're exploited by others or maybe there was they were ridiculed or maybe we experienced shame and so forth and this is something we're going to talk more about here with the real victims of the canceled culture not just the the implications of that I would have does to our<br> our psyche of our emotions but what can it can do to us physically I'm going to also can do to us spiritually so at any rate whenever we Face any kind of shame or shaming Behavior we may feel like we need to hide or we push our giftedness way down so that others cannot see it so we will not face that pain again or to be exploited again or another part of the cancel culture is that the perhaps we are told that you know you're never going to amount to anything because as we see you now that's all you're ever going to be okay or whatever other voice we heard telling us that there's really nothing special to us which is just a flat-out lie but at any rate we go through life and we don't you have realize our gifted us we we tend to forget that the very best parts of ourselves have yet to come out and have yet to be shown I got to be lived out in relationships<br> and we go from there we go through like functioning from a place of Wilmington this or from a place of victimhood instead of a place of healing or holness and we never get a chance to embrace the uniqueness of who we are or in good Latin terms at Santa's<br> wow how are you doing today how was your heart today I hope you are well and I hope your loved ones are well and I hope you have an opportunity to celebrate Saint Patrick's day this week and a manner that was spitting now I have to share with you that I do not have one drop of Irish blood in me so to speak with a name like how that is German some Polish is in there some Hungarian and so forth and so on my mother's side there's some Portuguese so interesting the food that I grew up with so it was my way of honoring the St Patrick's Day Night by having corned beef and cabbage I didn't have that although I like corned beef but no my way of celebrating Saint Patrick's day was with I like a German twist and I had stuffed cabbage instead which was quite delicious and I was raised on that I practically my whole child<br> so I had developed quite a taste for that so but I hope you're a Saint Patrick's day was was safe to be a question as we get started this afternoon probably something that we can all you know shake our heads and like a haha yep happen to me too<br> have you ever been unfriended by somebody that you were friends on with on Facebook<br> have you ever been unfriended by somebody on your Facebook friends with or what about Instagram what was your Instagram account over canceled or do people just stop following you just because you don't like read something that you posted or or whatever you don't like me you may have posted a comment to her a picture that somebody found defensive and before you know it you were unfriended or delete it with with no explanation other than you are now blocked from that person<br> or you know perhaps you know if we want to flip this around perhaps we came across something that's expensive whether it's a picture or comment that was posted in which you found defensive or that you disagree with and before you knew it you blocked that material you blocked that person you unfriended that person K and this happens all the time it was an avid followers to be on something through social media okay but let's go deeper with this example let's say you're unfriended with no explanation and as a result you are forever banned from that friendship you are excluded you are excommunicated let's say you know for lack of a better word but people tend to the know that phrase being excommunicated<br> and although it may be hurtful to be unfriended by another and you might look around and say well what did I do what did I say that but you hear nothing from the person there are some people out there who consider unfriending somebody or blocking somebody or just you know dropping out of the Friendship to be a legitimate course of action attract unfriending somebody or or blocking them from your email address or other social media Avenues ought to be well within our right as a means to protect ourselves you know because you and I both know that the internet can be used to justify a very invasive culture in which privacy is not respected<br> okay so let's just start with one prime example here let's just start with cyberbullying you know this is a term that has become part of our culture are part of our lingo and unfortunately but it is parts of behavior of shaming another or defacing another person and this Relentless harassment of another person because of their gender or their skin color or their sexual orientation or their culture or religion and whatever reputation and or socioeconomic status that is often the focus of another person's humiliation or is it means to attempt to humiliate the person and this is all based on the externals you've heard me talk about this before you know really gender skin color culture or religion you know and so forth these are all externals and you know<br> and shame hits these young once we take these in these messages and we internalize that shame and that's where we have to start to have problems you know not just emotionally but also psychologically and shame also has devastating results on us physically and even spiritually<br> well I came across an interesting survey couple of weeks ago that it was conducted a few years back in which parents reported that their children were getting bullied at school and or online and the company who did this research is called comparitech and they conducted a survey of over a thousand parents no children over the age of five and interesting their results that they found they said that about 48% of parents with children ages between 6 and 10 and we're talkin Early Childhood ages you know Elementary School reported that their children were bullied<br> can I 48% and almost 57% of parents with children ages 11 through 13 those awkward Middle School years reported that their children were bullied and almost 60% of parents with children between 14 and 18 just the prime shall we say early adolescence and on up to 18 reported that their children were both late and then about 54% of parents with children over the age of 19 reported that their children were bullied but it's very common what they had found the other comparitech found that you know right between I would say ages 6 through 19 and a little bit older that is where most bullying occurs in Grana that could occur in school it could be online and so forth but it was quite telling<br> they also took it one step further and they want to know okay what kind of bullying is going on here and so the most common specific types of cyberbullying that teens experience often included a defensive name-calling I was that came in somewhere around 42% or spreading false rumors that was 32% or receiving explicit images that they didn't ask for about 25% of the of these teams experience things like that or constant asking of who they are or what they are they doing or who there with by somebody other than a parent now that's up there too that's about 21%<br> and then there's also physical threats and having explicit images shared without their consent and unfortunately girls are more likely to be victims of cybercrime while boys are more likely to be cyberbullies and if you've noticed this came out a few years back but anybody remember the Netflix series 13 Reasons Why I'm in that series was all about bullying cyberbullying and shaming behaviors but researchers also found a significant crossover between you know in person bullying and online bullying they found that 83% of students who have been bullied online it within like the last month they have the survey we're also bullied at school<br> just you think about a child you think about a teenager going to school and becoming bullied and then they come home and now they're cyberbullied like where do they go to get away from this you know how where where is a safe place for them if everywhere they turn in terms of like some sort of social interaction their experience this bullying Behavior<br> and also researchers found that that those who identify as LGBT cue and and so forth. Only faced more significant bullying in person but they're also more likely to be bullied online compared to those who identify as let's say straight okay and the consequences of this kind of treatment it also led to an increased rate of suicide among some lgbtq communities and may result in decreased educational opportunities okay or graduating and so forth okay and<br> so what does all this have to do with the cancel culture<br> everything because when you think about it unfriending or deleting somebody you know we we might think we can justify it but when it goes to the extremes when it goes into this cancel culture yes it can be taken too far because we're seeing this so you don't emerging Trend in in today's society that produce such devastating effects in people<br> yeah we are social creatures we do interact with one another we depend on one another for practically everything<br> but what do you do when the very relationships you've come to depend upon or interact with her now on safe or you're canceled for for something that somebody deems as offensive without any further explanation<br> see it's it's it's an emerging Trend in today's society but it's it's it's an all-too-familiar societal pattern that continues to be played out down through the centuries you know it living in a cancel culture different people but it's the same old story<br> because the cancel culture movement of today is really nothing new and it's just basically rude renewal of the same old pattern of displaying contempt and intolerance towards people who are different in one form or another<br> Wednesday no let's let's go back to the old saying you know those who do not learn from history are forever doomed to repeat it and this is one area in which people in general have not learned from history because it keeps happening over and over and over again<br> and it's it's actually used to fight his intolerance when you think about us is society's intolerance for the potential for another two to transform their previous behaviors if you do the messages if that is all you are and you will mess is all you'll ever be you know and and that image or that reputation is then captured and encased in the in the public Shrine as something less than K will you do not measure up and you never will so don't even bother<br> well a couple of weeks ago I talked about dr. Seuss cuz dr. Seuss was in the Limelight on this cancelled culture discussion and I had shared a little bit about his life and how he came to write the book Horton Hears a Who and your throat doctor Seuss's life you know he was a brilliant illustrator and he was hired during World War II and to draw some pretty disparaging the pictures and Comics regarding the Japanese people and then it was just it was quite devastating at the time and then the Nazis were doing this to against the Jewish people and so forth is its it just seemed to be this satire that was out there but after the war after you know things had settled down and war with Japan Doctor Seuss was hired by Life Magazine<br> go back to Japan and to go to Tokyo and to interview kids and he's like what what am I going to ask them and on the plane ride over he he came up with his very simple question and he just threw The Interpreter you just said kids draw me what you want to be when you grow up guy don't tell me but show me draw it and the kids you know what they love that idea just turn them loose with a bunch of crayons Nate they just had a ball doing this and when they were done they just sat together and dr. Seuss was so overwhelmed by what he had seen that he realize that everybody is important even those who are a very very small and this is the whole point of Horton Hears a Who and he was forever transformed by that experience and he gets home to<br> America and he writes Horton Hears a Who and he begins to alter his life he begins to shape his books and just very transforming ways and of course if you've ever read dr. Seuss you know just as there's some very deeper deeper level throughs that are there that reflect all of humanity and if you ever doubt me just pick up the book oh the Places You'll Go and read it and tell me then afterwards that you're not inspired okay cuz I don't think that's going to happen I think you're definitely be inspired especially by that book oh the Places you will go well I'll call out culture is a modern form of ostracism in which somebody is thrust out of some social or professional circles or whether it be online<br> social media or in person and this is where the term comes from its its this people who are subject to this ostracism are said to have been canceled okay and it's unfortunate because I read another article on this from Kimberly Wilson she was an author of the book how to build a healthy brain how to build a healthy brain and she states that the cancel culture often denies the person who is being canceled the most basic of human opportunities that is to apologize and to be absolved<br> and she says that you know that this is very difficult because the Road to Redemption is often blocked by the indignant mob<br> The Road to Redemption is often blocked by an indignant mob and she also cautions that a quick apology is often viewed as insincere because it doesn't allow people to have her down through the centuries again of the apologies but it's more like throwing salt in an open wound okay so but yeah the person who either write something offensive or or Draw Something expensive or it's just they don't even know what they did that defensive they're not given the opportunity to make amends they're not given the opportunity to apologize and to be absolved and now granted if there is a crime committed by all means okay by all means they have to be accountable for that butts too we as a society when I shut that door on them permanently and just say that they would never change<br> but that's all they're ever going to be that's all that they can become<br> I don't know if we would say that about ourselves because we would be really quick I'm sure to say but there's more to me you don't see all of me what you see is just a little bit so you can't say this is the end-all-be-all of who I am but I want you to get to know me and you'll see more to me<br> if we're going to say that about ourselves why can't we say this to other people about other people you know is there you know the rush to be judge jury and executioner in this cancel culture just doesn't allow people to be understood and slight where did that come from you know where do these drawings come from or that kind of inappropriate posting on Facebook or Instagram or or or something okay so you know certainly to understand where that came from and to give that person the opportunity to say ooh yeah you're right that was certainly an appropriate I did not realize just what that was going to do it as people so I am I'm terribly terribly sorry and I will take it down. I will never ever post something like that again<br> okay that is a sincere apology that is a person taking responsibility for what they have done as well as also taking advantage of get off to be reinstated if you want to call it that too or to be absolved or you know to find that Redemption instead of being forever exiled and Inns in one way or another and you know this is something that our kids are watching 2<br> no kids grandkids great great great great great grandkids and so forth you know because children and we did this to when we were their age we learn from our mistakes right I mean at least I hope we did okay and no matter how is how severe the mistake was we were taught to admit the wrong doing you know I apologize so you're sorry demonstrate some sort of remorse OK you may not have to break out in crocodile tears but there's some sadness that goes with that because you realized how it hurt somebody else you know and and make amends if we need to make amends and we learn and we grow<br> okay and and that's how kids are raised but with the cancel culture you know by denying adults you know the same opportunity to sincerely apologize you know demonstrate remorse make amends learn and grow and and all that it just disregards our imperfect nature and it really stymies our potential for growth release time he's the you know for us to discover the very best things about ourselves<br> well again as I said the kid the cancel culture there's nothing new about this going on because one of the things when I was working on my doctorate I did work in the area of disenfranchised grief and this is great that's not allowed to be shared because Society has a major problem with either the type of loss or who is doing the grieving if they're in a very elderly or very young Society might promote the message of well they don't really understand so they can't feel the pain in that lost and so forth or just even the the the kind of death the kind of lost isn't recognized as legitimate by society and this was a time when is back in the world of hiv-aids where there was such a stigma around the type of death or even with suicide the type of death people didn't talk about it yet.<br> being in church or other public areas I didn't I've never heard anybody stand up and I'm going to raise their hand and say you know everybody I am asking for your prayers I'm asking for your good thoughts and Good Vibrations about you know I lost a very good love one because they had died from an aids-related death or you know my brother or my lover or whoever my spouse okay I just I've never heard that and I always was curious about this like why is that the very places which promotes on The Daily / weekly basis places that promote you know like this is the place to ask for forgiveness this is the place to find reconciliation this is the place to discover the very best parts of yourself<br> well they often turned out to be the very places that further shamed and wounded and excommunicated because of the type of loss okay or some other reason and even as a young boy I had a major problem with this this was just something that pushed my little buttons all over the place I just could not tolerate when somebody is down you do help them up but don't kick them when they're down<br> I just had no patience for that you know the end of Cruelty that was shown to others just based on well that's just the way it is because they're different from everybody else and and you know that's what I was raised with and that's what I'm going to do and everything and it's like no this is just flat out wrong<br> okay so again it's what I learned at a very young age I don't know it just it just pushed it like I said my little buttons all over the place and I just always had a hard hard time with it and rightly sell because it helped me understand appreciate and embrace the other side of the cancel culture and that is that no matter how deep or how far a person is cancelled or told to live an excommunication you know they always always were able to find the grace of God<br> that just because they're Out Of Reach of that say Society they never were Out Of Reach beyond the grace of God<br> well I would really love your love to hear your heart on this matter so if you would get if you would like to call in invite you to do so after the break that number is 888-627-6008 and I'll be taking your calls like I said after the break again you are listening to reclaiming authenticity and I'm your host dr. James house and I'll be back with you in 1 minute<br> okay well welcome back on dr. James how can you are listening to reclaiming authenticity before we continue today's broadcast I just want to say a quick word about next week show I entitled at what does death teach us what does that teach us in kind of taking a lesson here from the got the upanishads and just one of India's greatest writings just come to read and loved and cherished so I'll be taking a look at the carpet loop on a shot and then the teachings are among other teachings throughout history and Society in and how we ought to be living in the face of death and just the impact that it has on our relationships or I should say should have on a relationships so that is next week I think we're still in the month of March I think it's March 26th so tune in 3 Eastern Standard Time or noon Pacific Standard Time<br> well earlier in the broadcast you talkin about the devastating effects this cancel culture has on people this cancel culture or the call out culture as it will is this modern form of ostracism and which someone is just excluded from you no one's Circles of influence the Social Circles professional circles family circles whatever it be you know could be online could be social media or evening could be in person and those who are subjected to this ostracism by Society are said to have been cancel<br> and here's the interesting point you know as I said earlier there's nothing new to this you know this is clearly been displayed down through history and when you look at the pattern that history just keeps again kicking down the road because this is one of the lessons that the you know people refuse to learn about history so it just keeps repeating itself canceling somebody is really not actually about morality<br> it's about dominance<br> about control<br> okay you know what I'm saying here all-in-all cancelling is not about morality it's about dominance and control<br> okay and it's not it's not an attempt to help you be a better person or to see a genuine error you know it's an attempt to control you and the people doing the canceling do not necessarily have that moral High Ground as it were we would like to think that they do but if they did they would extend an opportunity for the Forgiveness or an opportunity to apologize and to be reconciled and so forth but when you really look at it if you need to start stripping away the layers and everything the cancel culture is all about dominance and control and it just because you you hear the messages you and you listen to the tone and you see the results and you realize it's not so much about morality<br> they're not so much about ethics it's about how I can control you it's about dominance and so forth okay well certain diseases that have often carried as a social stigma and have often struck fear and contempt into the hearts and lives of people around the world and Emma weakness go back in biblical times you know that ain't we could say well it was it was there with leprosy or tuberculosis let's say an ancient Greece or the Bubonic plague in the Middle Ages or the acquired immune deficiency syndrome AIDS in the late Twentieth Century and now we have covid-19 and all in all societies have displayed this pattern of purposefully disenfranchising people who contracted these diseases<br> Dragons Den Den initially this this reaction was seen as justifiable you know or or necessary in order to prevent the further spread of communicable diseases okay yeah that's that's not a bad thing okay yeah we just know that the with you know coronavirus and covid-19 the yeah we had received while we still do we have to protect ourselves cuz we just know how devastating and then just how quick you know that the covid can be spread<br> down through history in Amityville Afflicted people interpreted being let's say quarantine by society as as a way of society displaying contempt for it's sick and you know by their illness or or shunned and alienated from fully participating in their communities as persons of value and worth and there's one particular author who has done quite an extensive research on Stickman General and that's Erving Goffman Goffman Erving Goffman he picks who originated the term stigma ancient Greeks refer to lace a bodily signs were designed to expose something unusual and negative about the moral status<br> of the person who bore that stigma<br> and these signs so to speak were imposed by society and they were either cut or burned into a person's body which in a sense advertise their condition whether it be they were a slave or a criminal or a traitor<br> and unfortunately that behavior still carries through today and this act of branding signified to everyone who saw it that's the recipient was a blemish person or they were ritually polluted and they were to be avoided especially in public places<br> and these markings of the stigma that only spoil the person's social identity but it also cut off that person from society and as a result it has forced them to live in isolation in a very unaccepting world and from this aspect it appeared that does though there was no way out there was no way to remove this outward sign let alone then recover from the emotional wounding from such harsh treatment<br> and maybe you recall reading in school The Scarlet Letter and that was Hester Prynne who was branded with the Scarlet a for adulterous and she was made to wear that in public and just split displayed for all to see and you know people didn't want to be around her according to the story and then people shunned her and they are they named Calder or they gave her some disparaging look and you know just went at her and and ridicule scorn shame you name it it just kept going on and on and on<br> well when you think about it this way these<br> the distinct not where this branding or these markings you know weren't always spoken I mean but Society clearly distinguishes between people who are let's say unclaimed unacceptable versus acceptable I get out clean versus unclean lovable versus unlovable people and when I came across and just looking at disenfranchised grief is that people living with certain diseases like HIV AIDS or leprosy and so forth are often viewed with contempt because they you know they might have contracted this disease possibly through less a Social Deviant behaviors in the weather would be sexual promiscuity or illegal intravenous drug use or prostitution or whatever<br> okay and what are the things that was quite sobering if I can use that word quite sobering for me is that I found that whenever I counseled family members and friends whose loved ones died from an aids-related death that upon the person's death of a loved one's death society's stigma<br> is almost quickly transferred to the surviving loved ones<br> you know it then it's almost like a guilt by association<br> but yeah I mean is this just something that continues down through history that there's this guilt by association that if uou are related to the person or simply because you love the person you are guilty just like them and the stigma goes on and on and on and the cancel culture mentality goes on and on and on okay well let me ask you this question has anybody out there ever done a family tree<br> guy Gomez very popular to do well well what did you find out when you're going back through the centuries our far back you could go did you find people in your family tree you know who are good upstanding moral Behavior or did you run into some ancestors who were a little shady so to speak or perhaps let's stay with the tree analogy that we started to shake our family tree and something or someone unexpectedly fell out and perhaps we discovered a bad apple are too and we're left with what now what now what do we do what does that say about me what does it say about that what does it say about the family and so forth okay but the<br> do we ignore them do we skip over them do we become discouraged and filled with shame believing that One Bad Apple you know spoils the family line that spoils the whole tree<br> or perhaps we've started digging into their circumstances and the times in which they lived you know because after all that contact is important and perhaps in doing so we found out that they are ancestors may have been overwhelmed to the point that their Rose resiliency was exhausted or perhaps it was chipped away over time by if it's a Relentless depression<br> or maybe we discovered that our ancestors had to do what they had to do and not being necessarily proud of what they did to survive or defend and raise families and to make ends meet and so forth<br> but the size they had to do what they had to do and what about our ancestors who didn't always make the best decisions or even consider the impact that their decisions had on their relationships of their time especially those who have yet to be born okay in their constitution way back when that encourages people to look out for the welfare of the whole person not just in the here and now but two can carefully consider our actions because what we do affects up to seven generations into the future and that might be hard to grasp but think about it let's say we go back to the Revolutionary War times mid-to-late 1700 somewhere around there<br> well that's about 7 ish Generations in the past and you think about the people who live back then did they realize what they were doing would have an impact on people whom have you have to be born but we're here now okay and that we just never know the kind of impact that we're passing on to you know the generations who have yet to follow us and then we may not realize what we pass on through our thoughts are words are Deeds are assumptions are perspectives are prejudices<br> and so forth well all so let's consider that you know that the ancestors may have never considered that this additional physical or psychological or emotional and spiritual burdens that were being placed on others because of how they lived you know how they benefited from it or how they were burdened by it<br> are our ancestors may have used drugs and alcohol and maybe struggled with some other form of addiction because it was the only perceived thing available that they had to hold themselves together which then only made matters worse for themselves and their families because one thing you know what actions do run in families as mental health illness and and so forth you know and just other things that are being passed out about the brats are also unaware of the the psychological or emotional roles they played in order to say unconsciously maintain chaos in the family or some codependency or confusion or self-sabotaging behaviors okay that came along with the addictions<br> maybe I should shake that tree you know you find your ancestors either attempted or completed suicide because of their emotional pain and something was too great for them to see any way out through their problems<br> or maybe our ancestors initiate of the cycle of physical emotional sexual abuse out of their own experiences of being cancelled or being ridiculed and abused beaten or ashamed for on the other hand maybe some of our ancestors may have been the abusers you know those who struck fear in the hearts of others through let's say extortion or greed or manipulation violence and oppression<br> maybe our ancestors were guilty of you know pulling the trigger is or exploding bombs that ended the lives of many<br> perhaps when we start shaking this tree we're going to find that our ancestors went along with family and Community atrocities in order to get along with those in power<br> or maybe our ancestors reflected a silenced Asylum difference in the face of these atrocities in either reap the benefits or let's say raped the benefits from systems of Oppression<br> well<br> the more we know about history the more we realize that our work is cut out for us because there are so many patterns being<br> and acted over and over and over again<br> and not to generalize the whole issue but I kind of sum it up this way you know these are all self-inflicted wounds that societies doing here with the cancel culture and so forth get out the same old story that has been told down through the centuries and you expect different results<br> and you know of the self-inflicted wounds as you know Society creates a problem then wonders why there is crime or extortion or hatred or shame and and or or why we even hearing the cries of people who were put under a rock of humiliation and prevented them from getting out from under it<br> yeah actions speak louder than words but are we quick to dismiss the entire person before we get to know them fully<br> you know if we wouldn't tolerate that it us why would we tolerate that as it as a way of treating somebody else<br> probably one of the most profound lessons that I was taught was actually through James Baldwin he was a writer playwright poet activist and so forth and not like that I think was like that early the mid-1960s he and William F Buckley had a debate at Cambridge University and interesting topic it was growth of American growth of America at the expense of the American Negro or something like that but I got it was the language of the times and James Baldwin was first to speak and he pulls out his you know probably one of the greatest points in his debate was he just pulled it right from the headlines of just you know people who went down to vote in<br> Selma Alabama and there was over 300 students who were just simply holding a silent protest outside the courthouse and then you know Sheriff Jim Clark back that day he waited right at the entrance to the county courthouse and he was beating and arresting people who wanted to register to vote even at the slightest provocation he just had no tolerance for this and at one point he was punched and in the jaw and knocked down by a dad by demonstrator Annie Lee Cooper whom he was trying to make you do go home by poking her in the neck and chest with the cattle prod after she had just been there for hours at the courthouse and she was one who attempted to register to vote and this is the context which James Baldwin refers to when he talks about the you know<br> close to we want to get to know somebody okay and there's there's more than just one way to understand a person and so James Baldwin says that you know Sheriff Clarke and Selma Alabama he really cannot be dismissed as a total monster because I'm sure he loves his wife and his children and it maybe he even likes to get drunk and one has to assume that he is a man like me but he doesn't know what drives him to use the club or it's a menace with the gun or even perhaps to use the cattle prod something awful must have happened to a human being to be able to put a cattle prod against a woman's breast<br> because what happens to the woman is ghastly it is horrific<br> but what happens to the man who does it is in some way much much worse<br> and their moral lives have been destroyed by the plague called color that was the context from what she was referring to and this is the lesson that the cancel culture is promoting<br> do we take time to get to know the person who has either committed the crime or has written something that Wu that is downright offensive where do we don't like or as has drawn something that we don't like or what can we at least have the courage<br> to just stop for a second<br> and just asked a question what may have happened in a person's life that they felt it was appropriate to post something like this or to draw something like that or whatever what what are they were they even aware of it you know something you know perhaps very painful must have happened to them<br> you know because what they do and you know either committing acts of violence themselves or whatever yeah is is is James Baldwin says very gas play but for the one who does it is in Subway's much much worse what happens to them it just seems as though they are perpetuating their own self-inflicted wounds<br> but with the cancer called the cancelled culture out there sorry you know it's it's very difficult to offer reconciliation when you don't care about the rest of the story we don't care about the you know what else is going on in the person's life but you just quickly reduce them to being nothing more than a blink in the eye of History<br> you know something that happens we know perhaps in a society that has created this or perpetuated this aspect in in people that they don't know why they do what they do because perhaps they have no control over it because let's say perhaps it was handed down to them<br> okay so you know the cancelled culture I hate to say it but it almost sounds like it's here to stay because of the long drawn-out history of stigmatizing people of ostracizing people of branding people with the public display of contempt to go live somewhere else or go over there where we cannot see you and so therefore you know you're out of sight out of mind if we don't care about you<br> but as I said before the break that no matter how far a person is excommunicated or how far they fall or how far away they are made to live it's never they are never beyond the reach of God's grace and their life and you never know we reach out to people to get to know them we just might be that very point of grace shall I say that starts the healing process in the person so that they can ask for forgiveness where they can make amends or something like that but for a cancel culture just to say that's it you're done go away ever want to talk to you again there's no hope of reconciliation<br> and then we turn around we wonder why Society still struggles with the issues self-inflicted wounds we have to watch these very carefully you know it's because whatever we put out there it's going to come back to us in one form or another you know whether you call it reaping what you're selling or Karma or whatever it's the same thing as a self-inflicted wound<br> well I am dr. James hauke and you have been listening to reclaiming authenticity invite you to tune in Next Friday at 3 Eastern Standard Time or noon Pacific time where again we can spend an hour hopefully talking together and then the sharing our thoughts and we are going to be looking very closely at what depth can teach us by looking at the caca poop on a shot so until then everybody out there please be safe if you haven't consumed all your corn beef and cabbage from Saint Patrick's Day please do so cuz that won't keep too much longer but yeah please be safe and until we hear from each other again. May God always hold you in the palm of the hands take care<br> comments by a book by dr. hope it's all there just wonder on over to reclaiming authenticity. Calm and we'll see you next on PBS radio TV<br>

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