Reclaiming Authenticity, August 6, 2021
Reclaiming Authenticity with Dr James Houck
Healing Inter-generational Trauma, the mass graves in Ireland
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Reclaiming Authenticity: The courage to reclaim that which has always been in you.
No matter who we are, where we were born, and into what family we were placed, ours is a world full of relationships. Indeed, we are social beings who spend our lives making sense of our world by trying to find our place in the world. As social beings, it is often within the context of relationships that we experience tremendous pain and suffering. From overt acts of betrayal and cruelty that someone may have inflicted against us or vice versa, to simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time, many people bear the scars of physical, psychological, emotional, and spiritual wounds. And yet ironically, just as we experience our woundedness in relationships, it is also within the context of healthy relationships that we find our healing and authenticity. The difficulty, then, is often finding the courage to discover that which has always been in you.
For over 25 years, Dr. James Houck has been helping people discover their authentic selves by integrating spirituality into their mental and emotional health. As people are able to integrate these disciplines, they often discover core issues that have been keeping them wounded in relationships.
dr. James house<br>well good afternoon everybody wherever you are in the world at this time welcome to reclaiming authenticity find A-1 Scourge to reclaim that which has always always been in you and I have your house dr. James hauke I just had a thought though I'll put it in the back burner here on dr. James hauke and if you would like more information about me or if you like to leave me your comments about today shows or other shows I just invite you to visit the website www. DDS radio.com backslash reclaiming authenticity that's www.bbnradio.org, reclaiming authenticity and these broadcasts are are Now podcast in case you want to go back and listen again or you can go back into the archives and listen to previous shows that you<br>dismiss for something that piques your interest and so forth again you just go to the website and you'll just click on where it says archives and you will be able to find past shows and I got I just wanted to thank everybody for their support over the past year and then some and I just like to say that the you now it will have an opportunity to continue as your support by becoming a monthly subscriber now just a word about that option is not required to listen to any of my talk show but it is greatly appreciated so again just invite you to visit that website and click on the link and just choose any amount that you feel comfortable giving well I am very excited to be with you here today every Friday at 3 p.m. Eastern Standard Time noon Pacific Standard Time<br>and each and every week I I come and then these broadcasts are are focused on dedicating to the integration of spirituality and our mental health and it is very much just a wonderful Dedication that I am an exorcist I put on our spirituality and our mental health and if you would like to call in and be part of the show that number there is 888-627-6008 that's 888-627-6008 and I will be taking your calls after the break about halfway through the show So for anybody who is tuning in for the very first time I just wanted to say welcome thank you for listening I really really appreciate it and case you're wondering what reclaiming authenticity is all about to say this cuz I still get people to come up to me and just say hey I listen to the show or<br>I read your book on reclaiming authenticity and still not quite sure what it's about but in this context in this show reclaiming authenticity really focuses on the integration of our spirituality and our mental health and I place it all within the context of our relationships relationships that we have with ourselves relationships that we are in with one another and certainly our relationship with God or the divine<br>and for those who are new to the program it again if this is your first time listening thank you I would like to say that I am a really a firm believer that all of us come into this world already equipped and graced with everything that we need this life in terms of let's say our giftedness you know the skills and talents in the strengths and the character traits personality and so forth and yet it's unfortunate because as we go along in life and may be due to some unpleasant experiences we may feel like we need to hide our giftedness or we want to push those skills way down so that others cannot see or perhaps we were told that we would never amount to anything or whatever other voice we heard telling us that there's really nothing special to us and as a result we stopped looking at ourselves as somebody special we stop considering the fact that<br>what we have to say is worth wild or we stop believing that there is any good to be found in us no matter where we look but at any rate whenever we do those things and whenever we do not realize our giftedness and we all can go through life you know functioning from a place of woundedness or victimization and then we wonder why we're not happy or why were frustrated or why we need of the there certain patterns in our lives in the same old lessons keep coming around and around again and again as if we cannot get out from under that but whatever<br>we are able to discover the very best things about ourselves we realize one that there's a lot more where that came from cuz we are just scratching the surface whatever we discover something new about ourselves or our uniqueness but to is that we often realize that we can fight in and through our relationships and you know we approach life then not from that place of woundedness or victimization but instead we can approach life from that place of healing or holness and embracing our uniqueness or our Aunt has<br>and the whole reason why I need a place this integration of mental health and spirituality in the greater context of relationships is because when we think about it we often still you know I was as long as I could since the dawn of time for as long as that we still often receive our deepest physical emotional psychological even spiritual wounds in relationships let me where you we are social beings and it's I'm not going to say it's inevitable that we're going to be wounded but it's it happens within the context of relationships that we can receive our deepest wounds<br>and yet the irony of all this is that we could also discover our greatest healing and strength and peace and forgiveness and love through healthier relationships can these relationships could just be alright as we find them within our own families or even our colleagues co-workers friends and so forth but when were able to discover the very best parts of ourselves and we're able to heal we find this wonderful transformation is taking place and that transformation again is not just for ourselves it's also for others because whenever we transform we also transform others by our presence in our Grace and our understanding<br>but first forgiveness and kindness compassion begins with how we treat ourselves because whenever we are more compassionate with ourselves we can certainly then be come more compassionate with others and when we are more forgiving with ourselves we can then certainly be more forgiving with others and when we're able to live ingratitude with ourselves wevent discover<br> how this opens our hearts to see<br> and live in gratitude with others so transformation first and foremost always begins with us<br> well as I always ask this question I'll ask it again today how is your heart I hope it is well and I hope you are well and I pray that if you are struggling today you will find the rest and comfort and the piece that you need at exactly the right time you needed well everybody Welcome to the month of August here we are it is August 6th and I was telling others that how you talked to earlier this week that I don't know what happened to July and it just seemed to fly by but I'm here I just one minute it was here and then all the sudden we're in August and I remember again I was celebrating Fourth of July<br> and you're a wonderful time picnic friends and all that but I can't remember anything else I know that involved in doing other things in July I just can't remember then all the sudden it's like hey here we are August so you do ready or not and you know August is always a fun time because you know of course kids are thinking back to school even though they don't want to tell they are thinking back to school and back to school shopping and so forth but it is just amazing how fast the time goes well today's a theme or today's focus is something that I have spent many years researching but I have spent interviewing many people I've spent trying to understand it trying to heal from it and trying to help others heal from it as well and I'm talking about<br> healing energy Generation all trauma and I just like last week when I have a special attention on the Carlisle Indian boarding school and the atrocities that went on there I'm staying with this theme but I'm going to shift my focus in the talking about the mass graves in Ireland and this was something that I pretty much had stumbled on and I'll share with you that that story here in a bit but this was something that I wasn't taught in school this wasn't something that you know people around me shared or anybody that I know really struggled you know with this phenomena I had no idea and yet it was going on for you know decades and decades and decades and this is something that I had written about extensively written about this tragedy and others in my book when ancestors weep and this is something that<br> you don't have always been near and dear to my heart is just how do we heal from the intergenerational trauma and and what is it about intergenerational trauma that seems to just stop people in their tracks where it's very hard to get out from under and you know most of the time we find tremendous healing from intergenerational trauma by being able to tell our stories being able to share with one another what has happened to us or being able to tell stories in a way in which we pass on words of wisdom to one another or even ways in which you know we can find healing and so we don't pass it on you know that we don't pass on the pain in the wounds to Generations even yet to be born<br> and Robert Sutton once said that whenever you dismiss my story you dismiss who I am you diminish me so whenever you dismiss my story you dismiss who I am and you diminish me and storytelling is very very powerful we do all come from different perspectives we do all have different experiences but how we tell stories where we tell stories with whom do we tell stories and the importance of why we tell stories about takes into the account of where we have been where we seen and how we see ourselves and what hope do we hold out for the future<br> so if you two did last Friday you remember that I started off with the ancient African proverb that states that it takes a village to raise a child and this is a very common phrase that's kicked around today that it just like you know if we want to thank everybody in our life we realize that yes it's okay Village to teach us and help us in the courage Us in so forth you're actually heard it from one of our Olympian athletes you know that is certainly takes a village to contribute to the the training and the skill of an Olympic champion and I'm very much agree with it you know it did does take a village to raise a child or in other words the survival of any people really extends beyond the immediate family you know and this goes Way Beyond National<br> or Creed or race because we are more connected to one another than what we realize and yet just as it takes many people to contribute to the development of say generations of children history also has showed us that it also took a village to hide the scandals the abuses of the atrocities<br> so where at is it takes a village to raise a child in a proper way of a very healthy way very life empowering way it also takes a village to do the complete opposite because no one person or entity acts alone and no secret remains hidden and the truth never stays buried and that's just something that's society history has never figured out that people are often killed in order to silence them or people are often killed and that therefore the secret will die with them and I'm sorry but the truth just never stays buried because dead men and dead women and dead children do tell Tales of how they died and some died of natural causes and some died at the hands of others and some people were not even considered worthy of<br> to be buried respectfully<br> but for all of these atrocities and more it's it's time for us to begin telling and retelling the stories of how they live and not just the telling and retelling of the stories but can we understand the messages that are being shared can we understand the stories at a different level and perhaps hear what we really need to hear in between the words<br> okay it's time for us to begin telling and really listening to the stories of how people live and it's time for all of us to to see them for who they are salts Souls that lived on after their hearts have stopped beating and their brain waves had ceased and became quiet Souls that surround us now like a great cloud of witnesses or a communion of saints if you want to put it into that like that because our ancestors are speaking to us constantly through the blood that runs through our veins get out of these events you know the history and what's been done you know when Village is you know how I'd abuse has that are going on<br> and that you do not know how do we reconcile those with what's happening today Where Do We Begin what questions do we start asking how do we start telling stories<br> because the real effort behind healing intergenerational Trauma from where I sit is this is important because trauma has the potential to disconnect us from who we are as realizing ourselves as soul<br> and the reason for this is because trauma places this distorted template over our perceptions think about it this way trauma says to us this is all there is this is all there is to you this is as good as it gets all you might be able to heal from this and such but you'll never forget what happened to you will always be haunted by this you know all the lies and distortions that come from other wounded people who have yet to embrace themselves as sole<br> and yet once we Embrace ourselves as soul<br> we may be astonished to see the power of our soul to not only transcend trauma and transform our wounded energy but also Empower others to do the same<br> but still that is history has has tried to teach you know many had feared the resiliency and the power of the soul and therefore I've tried to silence its cry which is an impossibility cuz the power of the soul is powerful and you will never be able to silence the the voice of the Soul or the Cry of the salt it is that powerful because it's not living it it's not limited to writing time-space Continuum it is eternal that is who we are if we break it down and just you know everybody we are eternal<br> okay but throughout history in the atrocity that we're going to be looking at here it's just that that you know the people who commit these atrocities I don't think they ever flew into the fact that there are Sole and the others whom they wound or discredit their souls 2<br> so let's take for example the mass graves in Ireland and there is a great article that was written is entitled The Forgotten Mass graves in Ireland and I believe it was written in January 2018 you can probably Google it and find the entire article yourself or forgotten Mass graves in Ireland part of that article to you and the author really makes it a point to say that these are not just isolated incidences because when we talk about the mass Graves of Ireland you don't need there are many many many mass graves in fact the author points out that there are over two hundred and twenty secret Mass Graves yet to be identified in Ireland and is now to be led by the mother-baby homes Commission of investigate<br> some may take comfort in that and some don't just leave that with you but whenever you don't like a Truth and Reconciliation Commission type is is you know organized it's the results are sometimes questionable because it out then becomes very political okay but I'll just leave it at that but there are over two hundred twenty secret Mass Graves but have yet to be identified in and children and mothers who have yet to be accounted for and still night today there are many eyewitnesses survivors of that who are alive to talk about the deaths and many survivors have documented their own testimonies and many of these same survivors had lost you know mothers and brothers and sisters in the shameful places in a predominantly Catholic Ireland<br> and it's it's also known that thousands of babies were kidnapped you know from the mother and baby homes and then they were sold or transferred to to like a legal Catholic Church adoption agencies to be adopted by no suitable wealthy you know Catholic American families for cash and I'm not making any of this up this is this is well-documented thing I just I'm sharing this with you the kind of set the stage for the rest of this broadcast and according to joom historian Catherine Corliss who I have to admit very lovely lady who invited me in her own home and we sat at her kitchen table and of course you know good Hospitality good Irish woman Hospitality she made me a as you put it a cup of tea and we sat there and we talked I told her a little bit of you I'm about my family and and<br> I'm not she talked about her family and so forth but as we were sitting at her kitchen table she showed me pictures and maps and other physical evidence is that that that that there are reports that the babies and the children who died at these homes were buried in you know Crypt like chambers that is particularly true of the mass grave that was Unearthed in chume County Galway in Ireland and she said that the investigators had reported that DNA analysis confirmed that the discovered remains were of children between the ages of 35 weeks and three years<br> and she said to me and she's quoted in this article it's horrific what they did and again some people are like well that happened a long time ago some people are like it never happened you're making it up and so forth but again as more and more of these reports and I witness has come forward or you know more of the records you know I'm covered and you know made available to the public the more we have to question what exactly went on okay so if we take for example the mother and baby home in Toombs County Galway there were up to a thousand children and babies that were illegally adopted and traffic from the home in June at the mother-baby home and I may just alone that's just one place and this was also reported by the Health Service executive<br> just out of Ireland and these babies were illegally sold into the United States without their mothers can sense and there were no evidence that payments up to about $3,000 for each child that was sent illegally to the United States while it went back to the nuns who worked in the mother-baby home there in June queso again we have the Health Service executive of Ireland documenting all of these and many many survivors who are you have very much outraged both men and women you know now you know how to describe to having been sexually abused or raped or gangraped or witnesses to prostitution at a young age and then and there just made to perform all kinds of sexual acts and so forth at the hands of their adoptive parents<br> America or even many clerics who befriended them in the homes and this isn't made up this is documented and so I just want to share with you a little bit of of my experiences that just how did I get connected to the Children's Home in June County Galway in Ireland well I was doing just basic research on intergenerational trauma and I shared last week I had started my research and just understanding liked what is this going on I started with the boarding schools here in the United States the Native American children boarding schools as well as the industrial schools for you no indigenous children in Canada and so searching the web one night just kind of minding my own business just looking for like whatever<br> I could find related to intergenerational trauma and I came across this story about a mass grave being discovered at the Children's Home in June to TU a.m. to County Galway in Ireland and from the experience at the the Mohawk Institute which I believe I talked about you know I've been helping Canada car talk about a couple years ago I became aware of other crimes against humanity throughout the world in which there was this secret collusion between government and the church or between the government the church and Educators and so on and so forth and I stumbled across this story of Tomb you don't County Galway where are they there had been a discovery of approximately 800 remains of babies buried in a mass grave<br> are there were also stories of child abuse and burials that emerged from the mother-child home in bestboro in County Cork the very southern end of Ireland so I know how do you say story struck me and I'm just like so I contacted the people in Ireland who were and are working to bring about awareness and accountability of these places to near the government and the church at large and I shared with them how their stories of the mistreatment of women and the abuse of children in the mass burials paralleled Native American Indian experiences with the United States and that's why I said the Canadian industrial boarding schools and as we talked and as we share emails we were both astonished to find that in spite of the Striking parallels neither one of us knew about each other's countries atrocities<br> basement it was almost as if these Global crimes against humanity form this recurring pattern of humanity that was being played out in other places<br> and so we just kind of left it you know as we continue talking and just left it at like well if you're ever in the neighborhood stop by and see us well that's all I needed to hear and then besides I was already feeling the tug on my heart and so I made it a point to visit Ireland and I started in Cork and the southern part of Ireland and I interviewed several women who were born and raised at the best Borough mother-child how<br> and I heard women stories of punishment and abuse has which appeared to be a daily occurrence in this state religious run institution and there had also been reports of collaboration of towns folks who would often return young runaway mother's back to the home and you know the girls that ran away these young women they were easily identified by you know the local boarding school uniform that they had to wear and apparently there was an underlying belief that just ran through communities in Ireland that those girls who became pregnant out of wedlock were sent to these facilities to work off their scent<br> and as reported by some of the women I interviewed I mean the surrounding communities also sent you know their support perhaps in order to rid society and the Church of wayward girls so as a result and you know any child born to the Smothers while they were viewed as illegitimate and therefore they weren't allowed to be baptized by the church they just simply were not recognized and furthermore young mothers were then alienated also from their communities as they were forbidden to be churched and I'm not sure if you were ever heard that term before but to be churched event is a term that that meant Joe is the blessing given to new mothers after the recovery of from childbirth in order to receive the sacraments again<br> and so these young mothers because they had committed these sins they were not recognized and for further alienated from their faith community may be in communities in general they were just not welcomed back and again this is the the weight of intergenerational trauma is like how do you get out from under what has happened to you in the first place and then have you returned to society a society which valves to have raced you<br> AS Val to educate you Val to we will you know take care of you<br> don't need to have that society that Community turn its back on you and consider you you know unredeemable because you've so-called committed some sin and you know and in addition to the children born out of wedlock were considered illegitimate it was just an easy assimilation into the adoption foster care system you know right out from under the mother's consent which then provided a nice income for these institutions and at the end of listening to these stories you know they asked if I had any questions and I mean that was an understatement right there of course I had questions but the one question I had for them was this<br> where are the men in all of these stories where were the boyfriends when these bad girls were shipped off to the homes and to be quite honest I wasn't ready to hear their replies because they looked very you know sober lie to me and they just said you know. All of these girls ended up pregnant from their boyfriends<br> many had been impregnated from their fathers and uncles even priests and so to keep them quiet you ship them off and made them take the blame for this but of course this additional layers of shame that it was somehow these girls are woman's burden to carry the shame or made to feel less than well I would really love to hear what's on your heart about this subject so again if you want to call in please do that number is 888-627-6008 and I will be taking your calls after the break again you are listening to reclaiming authenticity and I'm your host dr. James hauke and I'll be back with you in 1 minute<br> okay welcome back I am dr. James how can you are listening to reclaiming authenticity and again just too worried about next week show tune in Next Friday afternoon again 3 Eastern Standard Time noon Pacific time the podcast and I will continue this conversation on transforming dimensional energy of intergenerational trauma as we take a look at how did we get here and where do we go from here<br> so how do we get here and where do we go from here<br> you know how do we raise the vibrational energy of these lower dimensional atrocities and the pervasive attitudes that still exists today and how we raise them to higher levels of Dimension where forgiveness and gratitude and love are meant to be embraced and lived out on a daily basis because as we move before that you know healing you know individually collectively is nation and so forth and countries and all that many people she's met many people want to have these places where the atrocities were committed as you know made into shrines or museums to let's walk through and be reminded what happened here and then some people are just like no let's tear it down let's just build something more positive over top of it and and any other argument in between<br> text so we'll take a look at all that has we raised the question how did we get here and where do we go from here<br> well earlier in the show I was talking about my own experience of these mother child Holmes mother children homes and the abuse has that occurred when boarding schools exist back in the day and these were just to get on prominent in the 20th century and even late 19th century in the late eighteen hundreds and again this is not just about a history of Once Upon a Time or you know not just about a history that can easily be excused or even justify because I said I interviewed several women who were born and raised at the best Borough Children's Home in County Cork Ireland<br> and at the end of listening to their stories again I had shared right before the break the one question I had was where are these men like where the boyfriends when these mad sad or bad girls were shipped off to the homes or where institutionalized and as I said I wasn't ready for what they told me I had no idea cuz I was thinking boyfriend's you know and it's an hour or husbands or something like that and they just you know looked at me and they said you know look at these girls that ended up pregnant and just was didn't come from their boyfriends some did okay but many have been impregnated from their fathers and uncles and Priests and then of course you know the understanding of so yeah this is why you know these girls needed to be shipped off to protect this Secret<br> because the shame was so bad and I got these girls these these young women were you no Meto to shoulder that burden made to carry that shame or made to feel less than as if they were the problem and I mean it's and I tell you that this this perspective on this attitude of women being inferior to men and made to Bear the burdens and the shame of society goes all the way back to the misunderstanding of the story of Adam and Eve in the garden<br> that's for another broadcast okay but you know this stuff these stories of the best Borough home and and the mass Graves being uncovered in June County Galway really just sparked something in me further about you know this is going to stay with us a long long time Society is going to be affected and you know what that we have we have yet to even comprehend how long this is going to be no damage Generations there's an author shanarae Chenery Chenery an article back in 2011 and noted that the children and adults who experienced a shall we say a prolonged. Of chronic victimization<br> go anywhere from months to years this chronic victimization and Total Control by others may also experience the following difficulties things like an emotional regulation which you know may include persistent sadness or suicidal thoughts or explosive anger or even an inability to express anger okay so he said there are going to have difficulties with emotional regulation and this is something that and just just healthy human development we all learn to you no come to terms with what we're feeling we all learned that when it's appropriate and and how to express a very strong feelings of sadness or anger and and so forth like that but he says that the children in the mother is to experience this prolonged<br> victimization and just you know just people that chronic victimization struggled with you no consciousness which includes forgetting traumatic events or even reliving traumatic events or even having episodes in which one feels detached from you know the mental process of the body or another words dissociation we're just going to feel outside of yourself because you just that I've never been able to connect to yourself<br> he says he's got the the the mother and the children of mothers and children will also you know have difficulty with self-perception you know which could include you know just a sense of helplessness or are struggling with shame and guilt and struggling with stigma which is a whole nother topic for discussion one day you know because stigma comes from society it comes from communities it's placed on individuals that Scarlet Letter Hester Prynne remember reading that in school you don't okay well you have to go back and read it because it is a powerful powerful story and you talk about history repeating itself<br> Stickman does just that it would pretty much slaps a label or some sort of stigmatization on a person and they can never get out from under it and it often breeds a tremendous amount of Shame and people because they've internalized because the stigma has just been Relentless and then you talk about self-inflicted wounds and you know in society it's it's a psychic could just wake up and realize how damaging you know the behaviors and perceptions are the people get out of that societies will never ever improve as long as woundedness and stigma and victimization are running rampant let alone how people treat children<br> also says that you know people who've been years and months and years on The Chronic victimization have distorted perception of the people who were committed the atrocities and in a way they just have this sense of kind of attributing this power over to the perpetrator or becoming preoccupied with the relationship to the perpetrator or even preoccupied with revenge like they're constantly caught up in this image you know and I just feel so victimized that they never<br> have a chance to again heal from that<br> and of course you know the last thing that he points out in this chronic not sorry for the next-to-last and is chronic victimization is this you know people are going to struggle in their relations with others and then you know if they're going to isolate they're going to have a lack of trust me know or even this repeated search for say a person who can be their rescuer and come back and we just down the road of you know codependency and other things and why people or you know 10 to look for love in all the wrong places in order to heal from what has traumatized them they might latch on to people whom they perceive as you can Rescue Me<br> okay and now the last thing that Chenery notes is that you know people will struggle with no just one system of meetings and other words you know they could have just a loss of Faith or a sense of hopelessness and despair they may not be able to find any Joy of meaning and purpose in their lives, but all of these things are just what he had discovered from just doing his own research you do for children and adults to experience this prolonged period of victimization well I stick to the term intergenerational trauma and then there are certain definitions out there about the one definition of intergenerational trauma I like the best is this it's the increasing and often relentless<br> psychological physiological spiritual rewinding. Because of a traumatic experience becomes unconsciously handed down to Future Generations through distorted person to sort of perspective emotional illness is maladaptive behaviors and co-dependent relationships try this again cuz I think it's worth noting my definition of intergenerational trauma is increasing and often Relentless psychological physiological spiritual rewinding. Because of a traumatic experience becomes unconsciously handed down to Future Generations through distorted perspectives emotional illness is maladaptive behaviors and co-dependent relationships<br> and in fact regardless of the historical context what makes intergenerational trauma distinct from trauma and general is a fact that the psychological physiological spiritual re wounding is often the direct result of premeditated acts of aggression or premeditated acts of annihilation and or negligence from a person or persons against another person or persons so these are premeditated Oxys are not accidents but these are you know one purpose and one person you know purposefully does this to another person or persons and it it could include directed into a human aggression against one another and you know such as you know maybe even through oppressive political socio-economic educational and yes religious systems<br> and furthermore what often adds burning salt and I mean burning salt to these intergenerational wounds is the underlying theme of an admission of guilt by offenders in other words no system changing olive branch has ever been extended to heal the wounds inflicted by those who stand guilty<br> again when attempts are made to acknowledge the past or even offer forgiveness its well-intended attempts to kind of a swage the guilt from those associated with crimes are tragedies is often seen as cold and offensive and this is the really the limitation and the the danger of you know the Truth and Reconciliation Commission they end up you know Truth and Reconciliation that's in the name we want to get to the bottom we want to get to the truth then we went to reconcile this but it often you know just digs up Old Wounds again and whatever is found or whatever is offered offered to people to find Healing is more like a slap in the face or they're just continually throwing salt in those wounds that have never had a chance to heal<br> and it's often like well we how can we compensate somebody for what they've been through or their families have been through or something just by throwing money at that and interesting to keep in mind that whenever somebody wants to start offering money and you know to you or others you know as a form of Retribution you think about it this way they're not offering you money so that you would be satisfied and that you can walk away they're coming up with the dollar amount and they're offering money so you know how to give the people so that they can walk away<br> okay. Put something to put it all in a different light<br> alright head underwater with the Truth and Reconciliation commissions have tried to dictate you know like okay well those who are the perpetrators and you know the state-run or church-run institutions well they have to come up with plans to you know offer healing and Reconciliation to those who have been abused and that's a violation of international law because you know it's almost like you know saying to and saying to the person who has been raped we're going to sit you down with the person who raped you and you two are going to work out a plan to you don't allow you to heal from this and you know your your abuser your rapist is going to tell you what you can do to heal<br> I don't know about you but I think about these things that really makes my blood boil because it's just a re wounding all over again you know those who had committed the atrocities should in no way dictate the terms of recovery to anybody that they had wounded you know they're going to be part of it but they cannot dictate how a person can heal<br> and I'm all for a Reconciliation I am all for you know retributive. I'm sorry I got a restorative justice absolutely restorative justice that means sitting down and listening to each other's stories and then really understanding what happened in your life that made you think it was okay to we didn't hurt people this way and then walk away as if it was no big deal<br> Okay so<br> again you got what people offer you know these well-intended attempts to apologize for something it may seem is coming off as as cold inoffensive two people have been wielded this because it's it's more like I well we'll just go through the motions here but in the grand scheme of things nothing is really going to change and that reaction shouldn't come as a surprise because apologies public apologies often divert public attention away from understanding how contemporary policies continue to Purple Patch weight and reinforce oppressive systems but yeah you might have individuals doing these things but you know what's the system behind it what is it about the government-run or religious Tron Reggie occasionally run you know program situations agencies and then so forth<br> just continue to perpetuate you know just very harmful very hurtful attitudes<br> well as I visited again the people from best Borough and again walking the grounds of June I did so with a very strong purpose to you know in some way can we start the healing process and as I walked these grounds I really sense this oppressive burden that hung over the souls you know like a huge spiders web you know and then interesting I had to look this up cuz it was bothering me I did research but in nature spiders are able to spin both sticky and non sticky self threats and so by doing so spiders avoid getting caught in their own web are all the while their prey are trapped and it was just image that you know came to me it was an image that is an accurate description of the way individual<br> feel trapped by a government or a religious system you know and and once caught in this web of assumptions and prejudices and penalties the more victims struggled the more they became entangled<br> and so with this image in mind as I was walking I passed a little Memorial Garden that was behind one of these mother-child homes and there are stones that you know that Mark some of the babies that were buried there as well as some markers for nuns and others who are also buried there<br> and to the signs of this Garden there appear to be other places where the ground had been Disturbed these mounds and it was reported that unmarked Graves of children were there and as I shared that you know when X like visited bear Butte and I visit other places of trees had occurred in tobacco and sage and made prayer Tyson and II Honey's in the tree and I sat down and played my Native American flute and I allowed the sound of the flute to pray for the healing and release of the children and the mothers whose Souls were trapped there in this spider's web and I also prayed for the release of the adult community who still suffer the effects of being adopted and are under I do and I'm sorry and are unable to connect with their real families<br> and I see this pattern over and over again and you know but let us do you know start from a place of we need to do something to raise the awareness of the stories in order that true healing can occur in order that people can go on with their lives that they can find Healing that they can find love and commitment and to live holy well<br> Eye Doctor James how kind you have been listening to reclaiming authenticity again I invite you to join me next week next Friday 3 p.m. Eastern Standard Time in a continuous conversation and we're going to really take a look at the question how did we get here and then where do we go from here so in the meantime be safe and may God bless<br> buy a book by dr. 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