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Reclaiming Authenticity, August 19, 2022

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Reclaiming Authenticity
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Self-Inflicted Wounds

Reclaiming Authenticity with Dr James Houck

Title: Self-Inflicted Wounds

Reclaiming Authenticity

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Reclaiming Authenticity: The courage to reclaim that which has always been in you.

No matter who we are, where we were born, and into what family we were placed, ours is a world full of relationships. Indeed, we are social beings who spend our lives making sense of our world by trying to find our place in the world. As social beings, it is often within the context of relationships that we experience tremendous pain and suffering. From overt acts of betrayal and cruelty that someone may have inflicted against us or vice versa, to simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time, many people bear the scars of physical, psychological, emotional, and spiritual wounds. And yet ironically, just as we experience our woundedness in relationships, it is also within the context of healthy relationships that we find our healing and authenticity. The difficulty, then, is often finding the courage to discover that which has always been in you.

For over 25 years, Dr. James Houck has been helping people discover their authentic selves by integrating spirituality into their mental and emotional health. As people are able to integrate these disciplines, they often discover core issues that have been keeping them wounded in relationships.

Bi-Weekly Show
Schedule Station
BBS Station 1
Schedule Broadcast Day
8:00 pm CT
8:55 pm CT
Show Transcript (automatic text 90% accurate)

dr. James Howard
hello everybody good afternoon wherever you are in the world at this time I'm welcome to reclaiming authenticity reclaiming that which has always been in you I am dr. James how can my great pleasure to be with you here this afternoon on a beautiful and let's see where we at on August 19th is just flying by unbelievable unbelievable that is for sure if you like more information about me or About Today Show its www.bts reclaiming authenticity all one word there and if you would like to call in and be part of the show today be sure to call me at 888-627-6008 that's 888 6276
08 and just a reminder that just in case you cannot spend the whole hour with me that's okay because these broadcast Focus I should say these broadcasts are also podcast it and so you can always go back and look on the website and fine of the show that you had missed and you'll be able to download it and listen to it at your leisure well for those you have been with me for some time now as well as those who are just perhaps joining for the first time today I was just like the share that the these broadcast focus on the integration of spirituality and mental health within the context of our relationships with our selves with others are interpersonal relationships and with God or the Divine and like I said before it is indeed my great pleasure to be with you here today
and you know I often share with my client sitting in my own clinical practice that my my own personal philosophy of how and why I work with people the way that I do and it always gets them curious and I disable this basically comes from two deep-seated beliefs in myself one the first Leaf is that I believe that people have the answers within themselves meaning that they know the kind of life that they want to live you know what brings them happiness and joy and peace and contentment and they know what does it and to I believe that from the moment we are born and then some we have everything we need for in this life in terms of our talents or skills are gifts a Graces our personalities are strengths Etc and yet there are times
our life when we go through horrific experiences such as being in the wrong place at the wrong time and we suffer some traumatic pain or we struggle with let's say the same mistakes over and over and over again or bad habits excetera that we've never really properly dealt with were healed from or we struggle with the issues I'm trying to make sense of those things that have just been handed down to us through our family line but nevertheless these issues and the pain that they often entail keeps us from living the life we want to live as well as it keeps the very best of ourselves from coming out
and as a result we often live our lives from a place of woundedness in pain instead of from a place of healing and wholeness and love
and You Know It is quite ironic that we often receive these deep emotional psychological and physical and spiritual wounds as a result of being in relationships with one another I mean we are relational beings we are social creatures and as a result that's often where our wounds come from and whether or not the the wounding was intentional or accidental you know it's it's what we do afterwards once we've been wounded emotionally wounded or physically wanted or perhaps that we have wounded another person it is what we do afterwards that will either reinforce those emotional wounds to say or can we find a way to be healed to work through all of that pain and be free from those burdens
you know it's interesting as I Was preparing for this broadcast today I thought I always go back through and just you know reads books here and there and came across a word and the Korean language that's called Hahn h i n which basically means the Deep wounds are victims if the Deep wounds of victims are they just came from the book from hurt to healing and the author Andrew Sung Park he describes Han this way
he says imagine a woman is in a room where there is no door or window she panics and knocks at the four walls frantically after a couple of days realizing that there is no using her doing this any longer she gives up all hope and then she despairs
and surrounded by the four walls her life loses meaning and her spirit dies within her
the slow death is what we call hon
sadness resignation hopelessness and despair are all parts of what hon means and when a person's deep wounds are not healed the wounds become vortexes of Troubled Waters intertwined with their own Instinct of survival and fear
and even within generational trauma and intergenerational Trauma I should say and the agony that comes with it that is Relentless and severe as in the cases of what's a patriarchal tyranny race discrimination economic exploitation and ethnic cleansing to name a few Park describes Han fully as the rupture of the Soul where an internalized Collective memory of victims occurs over and over and over again
a pain that is so intense that it's often described as a rupture of the Soul
going out and sit with others who believe they are living in their own boxden world you know they're just looking at four walls the four walls of hot sadness resignation hopelessness and even despair
and it's more than just feeling stagnate or stuck in your life your people also wrestle with a sense of hopelessness or feeling that life is meaningless
but just for a moment let's take this word han and the analogy of the woman in the room with no door and the window is take a little one step further as you see many people often feel as though they live in a world of Han within themselves
they struggle to heal from the past and in their own way and time find it very difficult to work through painful memories
remember what I said about believing that when we come into this world we have everything we need in this life in terms of our talent skills gifts Grace's personalities and strengths right
well how often do we receive these deepest emotional psychological spiritual wounds from being in relationships as I said Okay so
indeed herein lies the emotional psychological and physical and spiritual wounds
think about it this way we often think that if we say something harmful or do something harmful that it's never going to come back on us
this is true whether it's an individual attitude or behavior or collectively as in society but these words thoughts and deeds do come back to us eventually
every negative thought
every negative thing we say every negative thing we do comes back to us often reinforcing these wounded parts of ourselves
and you know what's it's interesting just how many different ways we have and sayings that we have do understand this concept of everything we say and everything that we do comes back to us and reinforces the wounded parts of ourselves the way we say things like well you know what goes around comes around
or we would say you know what you sow you reap
and do we even have an interesting understanding of karma it's just another way to look at this affect the problem is for some reason we think that we are exempt from this Boomerang effect of what goes out from us is not going to come back to us now
as we want to grow in our relationships and perhaps even begin the process of a higher-dimensional relationship with God we will be reminded of all the negative that the psychological emotional and spiritual patterns within our relationships that keep us stuck in the past
but I have many people who are either you know stuck in the past or just thoroughly a sconce in their fears which pulled them into the future and that's a problem because it doesn't allow us to be fully in the present
and unfortunately there are times when our unhealed parts of ourselves and negativity causes us to spend too much time ruminating over the minor frustrations we experience when we're stuck in traffic or when we don't like the pay bills or disagreeing with colleagues or friends or even loved ones and when this occurs we often miss the many opportunities to be able to see and hear and taste and smell and touch the goodness of God as well as the way God often work through the most unlikely people at the most unlikely types
and this is the phenomenon that I run into time and time again counseling clients who want to heal from their past and improved their relationships
but whatever a person is struggling with from other relationships it's kind of ironic that more than likely they're struggling with the same issues in themselves again what negative energy is being sent out Echoes back sooner or later
and her a couple of examples would say a person who is filled with bitterness from a previous hurt or betrayal if left unhealed that person will end up viewing everyone and everything and perhaps even feeling everything from this lens of bitterness
or let's say I was a person who has experienced tremendous hurt from a broken trust in relationships unless this is healed and transform will review everything and everyone with some suspicion
and this is very difficult for people to understand the phenomenon of emotional and psychological self-inflicted wounds what goes out past the first come from within
connecting the dots good yeah some people might even say you know I'm perhaps you've heard this and families are other relationships you've been in you know I'm never going to forgive that person because they really hurt me well I wonder if
perhaps that person is really saying I'll never be able to forgive myself for whatever I did
or you know I can never trust any and another person because you know that last person really did this to me and such but perhaps that usually means I have difficulty trusting myself
orb the classic example I can't stand it when a person says or does this
yeah just might mean I can't stand myself whenever I say or do this
and the last laugh example here I can't I just can't love that person because
it just might mean that they also struggling with loving themselves
how we are with others it's often how we are with ourselves and vice-versa how we see others is often how we see ourselves and unresolved unhealed wins certainly distort how we View and interact with the world
well how many out there in Internet radio land have ever seen the movie Frozen right it's a classic okay if you do could separate classic I should say if you have seen the movie then perhaps you are aware that the movie is a variation of Hans Christian Andersen's children's story the Snow Princess he wrote this story back in 1845 and other Classics that he had written but I got the movie Frozen was based on the Snow Princess I'll be at Hollywood and you know other variations I get in there okay but in Anderson story you know there's this evil troll which is the devil and he he takes a very large magic mirror no kind of like the Funhouse mirrors at carnivals and he uses these mirror this mirror to distort the appearance
everything it reflects in fact the mirror was not designed to reflect the wholesome and beautiful aspects of people and things but instead this mirror only magnified their ugly and wicked characteristics
so throughout the story this troll that is the devil becomes amused in the starting the images of everyone and everything even to the degree that even the most beautiful land look like boiled spinach the people who were looking into this mirror
well one day the troll decides with the help of his minions now these are not the cute little yellow minions that irritate grew but no less evil these minions carry the mirror into heaven so that the troll might make fools of the angels and God however the mirror slips from their grasp and it falls back to Earth and it shatters into billions of tiny tiny pieces and these tiny shards of mirror are then blown by the wind all over the Earth which get into people's eyes and get into their hearts
and as a result people's hearts become Frozen like ice and their eyes now can only see the ugliness and evil in each other and the world in which they live
ironically past wounds are just like the shards of distorted perceptions of who we truly are as Souls as well as what freezes our hearts from seeing the beauty and goodness in ourselves and others
pay for people who struggle with intergenerational wins or who have suffered crimes against humanity Society often further inflicts more damage because it holds up its own mirrors of misleading standards sometimes intentionally sometimes unintentionally but nevertheless these shards of Illusion are intentionally designed to add generational distortions to the eyes and hearts of the already weak and wounded
and over time then aren't you know our minds tell us that what we perceive albeit limited and hazy well it has to be true
and in severe cases trauma can be passed down genetically attaches itself to our DNA and often covertly disguise itself as harmful physical psychological emotional and spiritual symptoms now similarly as intergenerational trauma is passed down through society and families that is what we carry in our genes and how we are and how we were raised and through various social systems office also that we experience they also galvanized harmful stereotypes and prejudices and in justices and to certain degrees emotional dependence and biases Etc
and therefore intergenerational trauma is not just limited to how it affects our families but it also affects all relationships from the most intimate relationships to the mere acquaintance in our lives
and this realization is a significant aspect of healing our relationships
you have it it's Mommy take time and we reflect and you know this this realization you know it occurs when we can understand what has so wounded another person
what has so wounded ourselves as to allow us to continually act out of our woundedness but yet at the same time we expect different results
and then I have to say from personal experience that by understanding the background of those who had hurt me
that has allowed me to take the necessary steps closer to forgiving and releasing the burdens of carrying around my Woods any longer
because I realize that if a person hadn't gone through what they had gone through in their life where if they hadn't gone through a damp the damage and the emotional wounding or the physical wounding or psychological wounding and to a certain degree what they have acted out in that way or are they coming from a place of woundedness in their lives
no it's the same as certainly true when we understand this and when we want to forgive another
and forgiveness indeed is a process it's a process We Begin by saying to that person who has hurt us that we no longer want them to carry the weight of their webs
okay did you hear what I said you know it's a process we began by saying to the person that hurt us and hurt me that I no longer want you to carry the weight of your limbs
by understanding where they're coming from and their wounded missing their lives I realize that I want them to be shield from those wounds and likewise you know we want them to also be unburdened by any weight of bitterness or unforgiveness and shame and humiliation or whatever pain they have suffered from in the past that continues to influence how they think or say and act in very very harmful ways
in fact forgiveness certainly promotes well-being you know it said Studies have been shown long time you know definitely that the 90s where the decade of the brain but this is where well-being really started to get a foothold I just in the world of psychology but also in the medical community as well and so you know forgiveness was seen to promote a well be it creates a piece and so forth especially for cardiovascular health and it certainly has been shown to increase survival rates your people live longer cuz they're happier they're healthier I have more peace and specifically when people have this what's called a trait forgiveness that is a constant attitude to forgive and when this is associated with diminished recourse to medications and alcohol
in other words when we forgive and we have that piece
less likely people are going to use medications and alcohol or some other maladaptive way to cope because we've gone to the heart or the root of the matter
and many times I see this with people that I canceled many times I have talked this and you know the students that I have trained
what is the real issue here that we are talking about. That a person can't control their anger which is important and needs to be addressed yes but what's the pain in their life where is the pain in their life what do they still need to let go what do they need to be forgiven for what do they need to forgive others for and so forth
restart asking those kinds of questions then we're getting somewhere
now we're getting somewhere and all the other surface issues like say the anger or person turning to alcohol can be fully addressed that
I dunno epithe having that kind of empathy towards and on the second offender really eliminates this retaliatory Behavior and the reason why is because we understand where that offense came from the circumstances that perhaps led to such Behavior and the wounds that that he or she carries up to that point we would probably act in the same manner
back when were able to take a step back and think about what experiences must have happened to an offender to be able to lash out and aggression or cut another person with their words or take advantage of innocent people and deed what happened to victims is horrific and appalling and must be accounted for but what happens to the offender is in some ways much much worse
and there's their sense of morals and ethics and empathy have been destroyed by what has been done to them in the past
so how do we help restore them as well
but you know also if the offender had an opportunity to be forgiven and truly heal from their past would they likely commit the offence again probably not
and this is what a deeper level of forgiveness offers it's an opportunity to be healed and to live a better life and now let's let's be real here we all act and speak from degrees of ignorance in other words if we truly see the psychological emotional physical and spiritual Damage Done internally and externally would we be willing to hurt another
but we be willing to hurt ourselves
the truth is that we're not alone in this life we come from a long line of people our ancestors who are cheering us on people who have lived their lives people who have struggled they may have left examples for us in one way or another
and we're going to have many many more and more ancestors who will come after us and again think about the people who didn't wait till they had all their lives healed and sort of but rather reached out and healed others regardless which interesting goes hand-in-hand you know we often say well then when it comes a day I will do that or when I retire I'll be able to do this and such but
can we offer forgiveness can we offer healing
before we ourselves
are peeled think about that just think about that
someday someday future Generations will be reminded of us either look back and you know how we lived our lives and struggled to remain faithful or going out to that which we've been called to an Our Lives where we discovered about ourselves what were our shortcomings in our limitations and how have we transcended those things and how then we have exceeded how have we treated one another and so on and so forth
but you know for all of this and more do we ever stop to consider the kind of impact Our Lives will have and will have for generations to come
in order to find our healing we need to grow into and be and healthier relationships in order to continue the healing from damaged emotions or Wounded Spirits or lack of emotional and psychological support again to name a few
how do you know if something interesting happens that whenever this occurs whenever we find that healing from that which has really wounded us we discover that we no longer wish to find peace and Grace and love but rather if the healing is fully transformative we're going to start to see ourselves become peace Grace and love
talk about that Vibe we're going to be giving off the sense of being this generates a powerful positive energy field or vibratora and others can tell this even before we speak we no longer worried about what we're going to stay in any given any given situations we can just simply be and allow ourselves to be fully present with ourselves and with others
I really love to hear your heart on this matter so again if you would like to call in that number is 888-627-6008 and I'll be taking your calls after the break again you are listening to reclaiming authenticity and I'm your host dr. James Hawk be back with you in 1 minute
alright welcome back everybody I'm talked to James how can you are listening to reclaiming authenticity again before we continue in the second half the show I just want to say a quick word about next week shout it's entitled tangible Holiness looking inside the teacup and now don't be misled we're not going to be no read tea leaves I first of all I don't know how to do that and second of all come down in a different direction with looking inside the teacups but it's often where do we look to find God where does God show up in on how I got off and shows up in the ordinariness of our lives and how many times did we miss Scott cuz we're looking in the wrong places but the generations that are going to up-and-coming these days they are certainly looking for tangible Holiness in other words they just don't want to be told something about holy
they want to experience it they're looking something where we do god with flesh Todd you know it's something that they can hold in their hands something that is real so that's an interesting insights by just looking inside the teacup you know where God often shows up and they ordinariness of our lives so that is next week August 26th and then we can say goodbye to August and get ready for the month of September
why were early in the show I was talking about the emotional and psychological self-inflicted wounds and and where do they come from and again let's think about it this way that we are we often think Weatherby individually or as a society that if we say something harmful or we do something harmful that is never going to come back on us it's like once with month we send it out that's it but it does
every negative thought every negative thing that we say every every negative thing we do comes back to us often reinforcing the wounded parts of ourselves
how do you do the same is true in the very positive things you know every positive thought every positive thing we say every positive thing we do comes back to us often reinforcing the holistic or the healed parts of ourselves the healthy parts of ourselves so it goes both ways but you know I got this isn't the the only way of thinking about this cuz we are we have you know around the world many ways to understand this concept you know we say what goes around comes around what you sow you also reap and even karma is another way to understand that even though yeah really the matter how you say it Humanity lives and an echo that what goes out from us is going to return to us just like we hear the sound of our voices echoing back in our ears whenever we shout in a tunnel
or Kate
because everything we think and say and do is energy and unless we transform that negative energy through healing around Williams is going to come back to us exactly how it went out from us
wise man saw an angry and stubborn boy who was just kind of making life difficult for us parents just full of anger Fall Of Reach just yelling screaming kicking and so forth and one day this wise man approached the boy and he asked him how many days he you know how do you know how many day is often do you get angry and you know the boy just stopped and thought for a minute he said when I like I really can't remember then the wise man gave this boy is a wooden board and a hammer and some nails and he told him you know put a nail in the board every time you get angry
the boy promise to do that because after all seem like fun and so after a few days this boy had the board full of nails
and then he came and showed it to the Wise Old Man and the man asked the boy then to take the board home with the hammer and to remove each nail every day that he did not get angry
and after several weeks not days this time but after several weeks the boy gleefully showed this board to the wise man with all the nails removed he's like see all the many times I didn't get angry
and the wise man said to the boy now you did well to have the nails removed but what about the holes left in the board
and that's how damaging your anger can be
it's like driving a nail and we you know we take the nails out but again what damage has been done
so how do we transform negative energy
it all comes back to us the begins with healing ourselves
and to take this concept to the heart of the matter so to speak the way we can find Healing is to begin asking ourselves
who am I really
are Beats beneath all the external facades and beneath all of the pretense and outward appearances you know and everything else who are we at our core
the dangerous question to dangerous question that many people shy away from because it compels us to go Way Beyond the status quo in our society and it takes us directly into ourselves to sit and to listen to The Very cry and eight of our souls
are people often find it in Vogue these days to meditate in order to work on themselves wonderful absolutely we need more people meditating okay and while this is a very important practice quite often people become discouraged because they either are mentally bombarded with a bunch of to-do lists and then that just can't get a handle on the monkey my nose running hither and yon and all over the place or they stop meditation altogether because they do not see the results the way they went to see the results or perhaps the results aren't coming fast enough
well either way meditation also becomes a shallow practice when it's not integrated into our lives that create this transformation of who we truly are
I think most people start off with meditation in order to quiet the mind in order to quiet the heart in order to just find that peace all good thanks
but really meditation is meant for us to get in touch with ourselves
we think about it this way you know everything we say or do etcetera comes from a place of you know what we could say mindfulness and Awakening into who we truly are
and this Awakening takes us Way Beyond merely identifying as just soliya a body and a mind
instead it transforms and transcends us into a reality that we see ourselves connected to all things in other words again what we send out is going to come back to us
you don't know Hindi language they're the greeting Namaste or namaskar literally means The Light Within Me recognizes The Light Within you
or perhaps if we flip it around a bit in the English language Namaste means I see the light in you because I first see the light in myself
I see the light in you because I first see the light in myself
and there is a tremendous potential for all all beings to recognize and embrace the light within themselves as well as one another
and engaging in this kind of integrated meditation compels us to sooner or later stop asking to receive things in meditation but instead
we asked to have forgiveness or unforgiveness bitterness another negative attitudes to be removed
you know this is so that what is lying dormant in us can be unencumbered to come up and come out in life giving ways you often understand this as you know their story of a unicorn or another story of an acorn I don't know what I'm thinking of unicorns that must be a Freudian slip out there but no it's the story of the acorn and I'm going to put an acorn in the ground and eventually it's going to grow into this huge oak tree okay but
you know it's it's a long long process and again to grow anything there's going to come a time where you have to remove things that get in the way things are going to hinder the growth of my chest an acorn but again any plant know whether it be waiting or removing rocks or making sure there's enough water and so forth and tending it and pruning I'm good whatever the the crop is or the plant a flower or the fruit or or something a lot of process lot of work involved in that
so the same is true with us you know we
have to be really attentive to removing the things in our lives that simply don't belong that simply are getting in the way that simply pull us back you know into the past and say not so fast who do you think you are who do you think you are that you could possibly change
or we from our past continue to act out in ways that has nothing to do with the person in front of us mind you but it could be that we have unresolved issues with people in our lives but we just see them standing in front of us even though they're not or we hear their voice every time we hear a buzz word that reminds us of something that has happened to us
see the light in you because first I see the light in myself
there's a Buddhist story out there regarding one time the Buddha did not forgive somebody and get a lot of people like all that that just can't be at the Buddha was very forgiving but now there's this story you know is you know also true that the Buddha you know just one time didn't forgive a person and it's towed in a way that really focuses on real compassion from which forgiveness ultimately closed and so that The Story Goes one day of restless businessman once came in to Buddha's assembly and he walks straight to him and he spit in the Buddhist face
she was Furious that his children could have spent their time earning money but they sat with the Buddha instead with their eyes closed
and the Buddha with this man spit on him just merely smiled at this man
there was no word reaction
the man waited and waited and gave up and just walked away in the house and he was shocked but you know that man couldn't sleep at all that night
for the first time in his life he had met someone who smiled when he spat at that person
his whole world had turned upside down
well the next day he went back to the Buddha man he fell at his feet and he said oh holy one please forgive me I didn't know what I did
what the Buddha said no I cannot excuse you and everybody in the assembly was taken aback you heard his Collective
what the Buddha said
why should I forgive you when you have done nothing wrong
well the businessman thought the Buddha had forgotten you know so you reminded him of what he did the day before and the Buddha simply replied oh that person isn't here now as if I ever meet that person that you spent on I'll tell him to excuse you
do this person here you've done nothing wrong
and that's real compassion
to be able to look Beyond and to live in the present moment and say about what happened the day before okay but that person isn't here and you have a chance to be a different person as well
spell the Vietnamese Buddhist monk thick not Hahn and was once quoted saying that we live in a time of meditation when it's no longer just an individual practice we have to practice together as a community as a nation as a planet
and if we really want peace to be possible and we should try to look at the reality in such a way that there is no separation
again what we send out comes back to us
we are all connected
and one of my teachers justify our beautiful painted arrow in a recently published work entitled becoming medicine pads of initiating into living spirituality he writes that the way you become a medicine person is that you practice who you are because you are already medicine nobody gives it to you you are already it
what gift to yourself into the world when you realize you are already medicine for others that you're already healing for others that you have that potential in you
what's getting in the way of that is it bitterness is it unforgiveness is it something that you just struggle with to let go from
what gift it would be to yourself when you realize you're already
medicine you you you are
now we just have to work then work on clearing out everything that gets in the way of that medicine in terms of you know unresolved emotional psychological and physical and spiritual woundedness
but this is a kind of medicine that that needs to be lived out this is the kind of Integrative meditation that leads us to put feet on a lot Walk It Out to live it out every day is that what I was in graduate school I was first exposed to Maslow's hierarchy of needs and I'm sure you've seen it it's the pyramid it's a model on which show
what's a means of understanding our human nature and striving to Achieve Personal goals and this model of understanding the self follow the logic that our lives go through stages of obtaining personal needs things like food clothing shelter security intimacy with others goals life meaning purpose and so on and so forth not a bad model it's just in complete and I'll explain more about that here in my mind I think it's incomplete but for some it's a very good model to begin because it it just shows you know just what do we do or how do we live our lives out in order you know you received the knees or get the needs that we feel that we would like to have it our lives and ultimately at the top there is this self-actualization and
some people today believe that once they attain their self actualization are just flew Ernest or another words discovering their life's purpose and motivation and meaning that they're going to finally have found their life satisfaction that is so long that eluded them
and yet many people are often met with a harsh reminder that entertaining you no one's dreams and Ambitions and goals this doesn't necessarily guarantee have London finding that inner peace
and in fact despite their accomplishments you know people still sense something's missing from their lives
and this is so why then do many people feel so empty when they have so much and what's the problem
and perhaps some of these feelings of disappointment with the same as those hierarchy stems from a misperception that it is a flawed model but rather perhaps we need to understand that this model is limited because self-actualization carries us only so far
because attaining true happiness and joy and peace in our lives comes not in the accumulation of things or degrees or even accomplishments would rather these things come from the grace of God's presence that can only touch our soul
Cindy's there is a greater depth of contentment forgiveness love joy peace and so forth that awakens in us when we fully realize ourselves assault
and it is through God's grace that we are able to recognize our souls connection to God and throw off this cloak of Illusion
but still the limitation of Maslow's model here doesn't mean that self-actualization is a worthless Pursuit
because on the country we all need to have our basic physical needs met and we all need to have a sense of personal security and meaningful relationships in the potato goals
and yet we must also understand that these Earthly Pursuits are always pointing us towards a higher Awakening of self-realization of who we truly are
yeah and you know I use this model several times and and just how we can learn lessons as we become involved in healing intergenerational trauma
and the first thing we need to do is just step outside our linear thinking of you know the past present future like that and take a leap of faith so to speak and fall into God's grace a Grace that opens us up to this expanded consciousness
because once we realize who we are souls
I'd say we are then empowered to re-engage Maslow's hierarchy from a more Life Giving inspiration that focuses not in the ego-driven achievement but rather that which enhancers the value of dignity and worth of all relationships
take for example you do realize souls are no longer motivated to feed others just for the sake of alleviating their own guilt and feeling empty stomach but rather their motivation comes from the awareness that by feeding others they are also feeding Souls with compassion and Grace
that which we do in the physical
we also doing the spiritual
and instead of spending time with another out of obligation realize Souls instead see another soul in need of friendship and love
I see the light in you because I first see the light in myself
and it's kind of forgiving others From perspective of well why do I get out of it you know we can forgive because we're just simply not allowing people to carry the crippling effect unforgiveness and bitterness has on them and US assholes
as we bless others in the physical sense we also bless them in the spiritual sense
and when we meet the basic needs another is these benevolent acts inevitably nudge them closer to discover who they effectively are as so
never diminish even the simplest acts of kindness or Compassion or Grace for these are truly the acts that touch the soul and cause all of Heaven all the universe to rejoice
self-realization fulfills self-actualization
on dr. James how can I appreciate you spending this hour with me again if for some reason you had missed other broadcast I invite you to go back to the website and download them and listen to them at your leisure until next time just ask that everybody be safe behave yourselves and may God hold all of us in the palm of God's hands take care
in comments it's all there, and we'll see you next Friday at noon on PBS radio TV

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