Morgana Rae: I'm Morgana and here is my husband, Devin. I'm just gonna wait, yeah. Husband of, I think, 25 times now.. You'll note that I'm wearing this. Yes, and you forgot what it is. 

Devin: Well, I want to keep it a surprise forMorgana Rae: This was, if you love me, you would have remembered that this was from our Bali wedding. From one of my clients because when we had our Bali wedding, it was I think 201613000:15:16.980 --> 00:15:34.560Morgana Rae: Yeah, and I brought Devin along cuz I you know I just kept missing him so much. It's the only time he's gone to Bali WITH ME, AND WE HAD A BIG WEDDING, the first day of the retreat and then I foolishly just put them on a plane and sent him home and focused on the retreat. 13100:15:35.880 --> 00:15:36.750Devin: That was a good wedding.13200:15:38.250 --> 00:15:46.200Morgana Rae: The hotel was Sri Ratih Cottages. 13300:15:47.160 --> 00:16:00.450Devin: track down traditional costumes and I was wearing the headdress and culottes and this whole white thing Arabian Nights. So the whole thing was actually really quite remarkable. And my driver, who has been my driver since I think 2013 (I've led 10 of these retreats now.) He's a priest of his village. So he presided over our wedding.And the hotel gave us this beautiful wedding and they were all there. So they're family to me and it's on my mind because last night I booked rooms for my retreat at in June of next year. I just had a feeling when I canceled my 2020 retreat, which was going to be, I think, in May this year in February, it was clear what was going on.13700:16:38.610 --> 00:16:47.280Morgana Rae: I just had a hunch that June would work. And now we're getting the news about the vaccines and it actually looks like it's going to happen. So13800:16:47.610 --> 00:16:57.210Morgana Rae: I booked my rooms for my Bali retreat. It's on my mind. And so I'm celebrating our love with with this little infinity symbol.13900:16:57.690 --> 00:17:04.410Morgana Rae: That my husband, can't remember. 

Devin: Well, I have it in a sacred place. Yeah, sure. Yeah.Exactly where I placed it, but it's very safe. It's very, it's very safe and, you know, I'm going to switch subjects. 14100:17:15.720 --> 00:17:24.810Morgana Rae: And by the way the hotel. remembers you and says, hi. 

Devin: They were great. Now I will before I was going to just change this subject into some flighty irrelevant commentary. Lots of great little restaurants away from the cluster of Ubud. Really good people. So this was just a really great location and they were just very, very kind and was beautiful. And they had a temple right on the ground like a very traditional kind of own. In other words, with the open mouth dragon next to the closed mouth tracking it was really well.14500:17:55.110 --> 00:18:03.810Morgana Rae: That is just Bali is the tradition is everywhere and I and it's like a home. Every home in Bali has its altar to its ancestors, I think, I think I'm trying to remember which direction. I think the kitchen is in the South, and I think the ancestors are in the north, but in I didn't go this year. So I forget. And so like a home. The resort has its temple to its ancestors. In the correct direction. Um, yeah, I don't remember, but I don't remember the directions. I'm so embarrassed.I used to know this stuff. So that's a great lead in15000:18:43.080 --> 00:18:53.580Devin: My next observation which was, you know, there's a picture of us first of all the pictures. I always look weird. But I think that says more about me being and looking weirdMorgana Rae: But in one of the pictures we are at the US Open dancing at the US Open of West Coast swing. And I always sort of marvel at that because that is one of the few places that I can say without certainty or with complete certainty that I was the worst in the entire building in West Coast swing, but somehow I ended up on the dance floor performing performing for dancers all over the life of the best, most unbelievable dancers and somehow there wasn't some sort of a criteria. Literally. Anybody know the dance, get up and dance. 

Morgana Rae: We were specifically invited and we were invited to dance in the front, even though you drag us back. I didn't. 

Devin: I was going to be in the last row and if the Wife needs to be in the front row realize like, you know, becauseMorgana Rae: You're better than you think you are. No, I know this is the room full of the world's best. It's true. We are not a caliber.15700:20:10.770 --> 00:20:20.820Morgana Rae: The joy of midlife is making a mistake or not being good enough would have been soul crushing mortification. When I was younger, and now...15900:20:24.600 --> 00:20:35.760Devin: Itwas actually important that we be sort of in the last row. And I remember us. We like dragging me and then you somehow managed to dance out on the edge so soAnd then kept pushing yourself further and closer to the cameras which 

Moragna: And that's like our love. Dancing on the edge.16100:20:46.650 --> 00:21:00.690Devin: It's so good. Anyway, that was a lot of fun. And so I sort of love that picture because I looked very serious because I realized that I'm dancing in front of all these people. Why are we even here and there wasn't anybody to give us a test.16200:21:01.710 --> 00:21:02.430Morgana Rae: Cause I'm just a girl who can't say no.16300:21:03.570 --> 00:21:09.240Devin: That's it. Yeah, no. You want to do it. So I knew I was soon as you were like, oh, I'm in. I knew it was like It was a point where we were actually16500:21:15.360 --> 00:21:27.360Morgana Rae: We were in the flash mob. And there was a point where while we were at the US Open and we're dancing and you are like so into it and no idea how bad I am well yeah that's fine.16600:21:28.500 --> 00:21:31.410Devin: Because I was the worst person in the room so that the the worst for you would have been second worst, which I don't think that was the case. But here was the moment that I treasure.There was a moment where we came out of a turn and we're facing each other. And I knew what was supposed to happen next, and I could see it in your eyes that you had a clue. Like we were we were just like, like six steps into this sort of first foray into this, you know, like, three minute long choreographed dance that we're also dancing with like 30 other people. That's true. Yeah. And I turned around and I saw it in your eyes and I was applying was like, oh, this is yeah there was like, who knows what was going on. 17100:22:15.750 --> 00:22:29.790Morgana Rae: You know what happened. I followed. 

Devin: Yes, you did. Because I reached out grabbed and then you were like, Oh, that's right. That was it. And then shortly thereafter that that guy took the photograph, as if we were professional dancers.  So if you're looking at that picture if you've seen that picture. 

Morgana Rae:Don't be fooled. 

Devin: Right. Don't be fooled. It's just, you know, smoke and mirrors. And somebody with a really nice camera and we're actually pretty good high shutter speed. 
17400:22:49.380 --> 00:23:02.850Morgana Rae: We took we took private lessons, by the way. Private dance lessons is couples therapy. It's like our steps are better. And it's good for marriage, too. 

Devin: Yes, it is. So all of this is the Crazy Sexy part. Oh, well, we've got more we have17500:23:03.930 --> 00:23:09.300Morgana Rae: We have guests. We do. I know you're going oh thank god right about now.But the way I want to ease into that is so if you've been watching while you know that I've been in the personal development world for decades. I've been a pioneer in relationship with money coaching and I've been. I've coached thousands of people since 1996. Crazy.17700:23:34.530 --> 00:23:48.690Morgana Rae: And I noticed that the really big gurus in my industry of influencers. Whether it's personal development or e commerce or whatever, the so called thought leaders.17800:23:49.200 --> 00:24:03.810Morgana Rae: Have a really incredible track record of failed relationship. I'm going to name people, you know, and their history is not a secret. So like Tony Robbins, John Gray, and jack Canfield... the the partners that they created their empires with are not the people they're with now. And I do believe that a change of circumstance, even if it's a great change of circumstances, lots of money. Lots of celebrity winning the lottery everything you ever wanted can put huge stress on a relationship. I have a client whose life partner of many, many years split when she came into her 8-figure fortune. So we think, Oh, that'll solve everything and, no: change creates challenge.18200:24:46.230 --> 00:24:53.010Morgana Rae: So I'm looking at these big names and I'm also looking at a lot of my friends and peers in this world, and their marriages have been falling apart, which is, you know, relationships, I thought were really solid. And it's not everybody, but it's most of the people I know in my industry. But there's this one guy.18500:25:13.560 --> 00:25:25.170Morgana Rae: But there's this one guy who is one of these influencers, you know, has a big audience, really successful as a coach and a teacher and a trainer and an author and an entrepreneur of like everything under the sun. If it's Tuesday, he must be opening a new business. And I love the way he loves his wife. So I wanted to invite Steve Olsher and his beautiful wife Lena Bravo Olsher to talk with us tonight, cuz I'm frankly curious.18800:25:51.780 --> 00:26:00.510Morgana Rae: Why are you still together. What makes what do you know that is made this work for you when so many of our friends have not. 

Devin: So invite them on. 

Morgana: Come on in.19000:26:11.760 --> 00:26:13.200Steve Olsher: You can just keep talking about us. It'sOkay.19200:26:15.690 --> 00:26:17.850Devin: Well, thanks for stopping in that's all the time we have.19300:26:19.200 --> 00:26:20.160Steve Olsher: Scene. Gotta go.19400:26:21.600 --> 00:26:22.050Morgana Rae: And19500:26:23.400 --> 00:26:24.210Morgana Rae: So,19600:26:24.270 --> 00:26:25.050Steve Olsher: Good. See you guys.19700:26:25.440 --> 00:26:30.840Morgana Rae: Yes. Great to see you and you're all close and cuddly and looking happy and well19800:26:31.320 --> 00:26:36.180Steve Olsher: True, true, true, you don't you don't see the knife. On the other hand right now.19900:26:41.640 --> 00:26:42.150Morgana Rae: He likes it.20000:26:42.480 --> 00:26:43.410Steve Olsher: Yes, so20100:26:44.850 --> 00:26:47.700Morgana Rae: What's your secret. Why do you choose each other.20200:26:49.560 --> 00:26:52.290Morgana Rae: Or even maybe we could start with where20300:26:54.720 --> 00:27:01.710Morgana Rae: We can go lot will get what we can do a lot of. Let's start with right now. Why do you choose each other right now.20400:27:02.670 --> 00:27:05.370Steve Olsher: In this moment or at first, you talked about in this moment.20500:27:05.730 --> 00:27:16.470Morgana Rae: Yeah, like, why are you. Why are you together because I think it's, you know, to be together. You keep choosing each other. You don't just say I do. And then you're set.20600:27:19.230 --> 00:27:23.640Steve Olsher: Well, I think we're each other's clowns like we just make each other laugh.20700:27:25.260 --> 00:27:29.550Steve Olsher: Um, what else that's definitely part of it. Yeah. Part of it.20800:27:30.570 --> 00:27:36.060Steve Olsher: The laughter you know the attraction the respect.20900:27:37.770 --> 00:27:47.970Steve Olsher: Yeah, I mean, those are those are definitely three of the the biggies. Right. I mean, if you don't, I think you if you don't laugh with your partner that's going to be tough to21000:27:48.780 --> 00:27:54.180Steve Olsher: Have it be sustainable. I DON'T THINK IF YOU'RE ATTRACTED any longer to your partner. I think it's gonna be tough to21100:27:54.720 --> 00:28:08.970Steve Olsher: make it sustainable and if you don't respect your partner. I mean, and you can define that. However, in whatever way you want. But I think if you don't respect your partner, it's gonna make it really tough for that for that to last, too. So yeah, I mean, those are certainly21200:28:09.990 --> 00:28:11.940Steve Olsher: Three of the three of the biggies. For sure. Yeah.21300:28:13.980 --> 00:28:20.010Morgana Rae: That okay Devon. So how did you, how did you kids meet because21400:28:21.090 --> 00:28:25.020Morgana Rae: How many years has it been since you've been married and been together.21500:28:25.710 --> 00:28:30.480Steve Olsher: How do you tell it. Um, well, we've been married 23 years21600:28:32.040 --> 00:28:34.290Steve Olsher: We've been together about 24 we21700:28:35.400 --> 00:28:40.710Steve Olsher: It happened kind of quickly like we met and married in like eight months. So it just kind of like21800:28:42.030 --> 00:28:42.810Happened quick21900:28:44.610 --> 00:28:49.230Steve Olsher: And how did we meet you tell. Oh, I'm telling that part of the story. So22000:28:51.240 --> 00:29:04.830Steve Olsher: So we both worked in a in a loft office building in Chicago and the and we both worked on the same floor of that loft office building in Chicago.22100:29:05.670 --> 00:29:18.240Steve Olsher: And to get to my office I would have to walk by their office because at that time when I had worked for an orthodontist. And so it wasn't orthodontics office.22200:29:18.630 --> 00:29:32.130Steve Olsher: I had to walk past that to get to the back hallway to get to my office and so they had a glass door on on their office. Now, they didn't have a glass door on their office, we probably would never met. Right. So a glass door.22300:29:33.150 --> 00:29:47.970Steve Olsher: One of those, you know, you can see through. And you can see what's going on and on occasion when I would walk by on the way to my office I would see her working. And so, you know, I was like, Oh, who's that you know she's super cute and22400:29:49.170 --> 00:29:54.390Steve Olsher: Maybe I'll go say hello. So I stopped in one day to get an orthodontic checkup.22500:29:55.620 --> 00:30:02.280Steve Olsher: I had braces. When I was a kid. So I just wanted to see if you know if my my teeth were still doing okay.22600:30:03.180 --> 00:30:14.520Steve Olsher: So I went in and made an appointment and of course she wasn't working. So I was like, you know, that was your day off and22700:30:15.150 --> 00:30:22.560Steve Olsher: And so I told one of her co workers. I was like, you know, I walk down the hall, who's the Dark haired girl that works here, you know, she's super cute.22800:30:23.220 --> 00:30:38.610Steve Olsher: I want you to come on, just have her come by and say hello someday. And so I got braces. Again, just like a keep coming back into the office and every time I went back for more tightening and straightening and tightening and straightening wasn't working, but no.22900:30:40.920 --> 00:30:48.360Steve Olsher: Okay, fine. So I didn't get races. I did go in and I did plant the you know the seed of, Hey, I like this, this girl is under, over, and23000:30:48.990 --> 00:31:01.470Steve Olsher: And sure enough, we got we got your mail. Yeah, you can tell that part. Yeah, so we we got his mail by accident and my co workers were like, just go.23100:31:02.070 --> 00:31:13.890Steve Olsher: Over there to take him the mail. Yeah. And it was weird because in my head, I said to myself, sarcastically, like, Oh, watch this will end up being my husband and23200:31:15.360 --> 00:31:21.330Steve Olsher: I never even thought I was ever going to get married, like I just I just didn't, you know, and he ended up being my husband.23300:31:22.440 --> 00:31:26.010Morgana Rae: So it's kind of weird. So you have to be careful with that sarcasm.23400:31:26.310 --> 00:31:26.730I know23500:31:27.930 --> 00:31:36.750Steve Olsher: So that's, that's a short version of the story, but yes. Basically, they got our mail she brought it over. I was on the phone distracted, trying to get off the phone while she was standing there with the mail.23600:31:37.110 --> 00:31:44.700Steve Olsher: And she waited and waited and waited and waited. And finally, I was able to free up and talk to her and invite her out to lunch and23700:31:46.230 --> 00:31:48.570Steve Olsher: Yeah, we met married in eight months.23800:31:49.350 --> 00:31:50.430Morgana Rae: Was there a moment.23900:31:50.610 --> 00:31:51.870Morgana Rae: When did you know24000:31:52.710 --> 00:32:05.910Morgana Rae: Like, was there a moment like because it's a short courtship for many people obviously Lena knew as soon as she got your mail. When did you know Steve right just like an incantation that was there a moment like24100:32:06.810 --> 00:32:08.100Steve Olsher: I didn't know who he was.24200:32:08.190 --> 00:32:09.810Morgana Rae: Right, just some random guy at the24300:32:09.810 --> 00:32:11.790Morgana Rae: Office, who was going to be your husband.24400:32:12.000 --> 00:32:14.010Steve Olsher: She just fell in love with my name on the envelope.24500:32:15.450 --> 00:32:16.110Morgana Rae: love that guy.24600:32:18.030 --> 00:32:29.400Steve Olsher: I mean i i think it was pretty early on. I mean certainly within the first few dates, where I was like yeah i wanna i want to see you again and24700:32:30.720 --> 00:32:46.260Steve Olsher: The. I mean, it was, it was pretty early on that I knew that I at least wanted to see how far you know we could potentially go as a couple and and yeah I mean I literally within the first few dates. I knew pretty quickly.24800:32:46.890 --> 00:32:49.440Morgana Rae: Oh, you did a boyfriend. And he told me to get rid of them.24900:32:49.470 --> 00:32:54.060Steve Olsher: She did. She had a boyfriend had a long distance boyfriend. I think I found this out, like maybe after the25000:32:54.960 --> 00:33:03.210Steve Olsher: Second or third date or something like that, because it's one point. No, no, it's right off the bat. Oh, she told me right off the bat. See, now you can tell that part of the story, cuz I don't remember that whole thing.25100:33:03.420 --> 00:33:07.140Steve Olsher: Tell me. Yeah, I know you had a boyfriend. So what made you break up with him. But what have more25200:33:08.850 --> 00:33:12.210Steve Olsher: Yeah, cuz he when we finally did meet with the mail.25300:33:14.160 --> 00:33:22.950Steve Olsher: He said so. Do you have a boyfriend. And I said, Yeah. And he grabbed my hand. And he said, well, doesn't look too serious. Okay. She didn't ever rain.25400:33:25.590 --> 00:33:27.900Morgana Rae: So that was Steve's play a move.25500:33:28.350 --> 00:33:31.590Steve Olsher: Steve player exact. No, no. You want to know the real play a movie.25600:33:31.650 --> 00:33:33.180Morgana Rae: Yeah, no. Totally. Let's hear it.25700:33:33.330 --> 00:33:35.040Steve Olsher: So the real play a move was25800:33:36.270 --> 00:33:45.450Steve Olsher: I don't know, maybe after the fourth or fifth date or this is the first date. I didn't make you get on the phone with him and break up with me standing there until at least after the fourth or fifth date that's25900:33:45.570 --> 00:33:46.560Morgana Rae: That's class.26000:33:48.120 --> 00:34:01.080Steve Olsher: There was another good move that he did. Yeah, I'm on our first date, um, you know, it was, it was lunch and you know I took it kind of easy peasy. And it's just lunch just lunch and26100:34:02.280 --> 00:34:08.250Steve Olsher: So he was like, Oh, so you know you want to hang out again and blah, blah. And I was like,26200:34:09.210 --> 00:34:18.510Steve Olsher: Well, I do have a boyfriend. So, you know, maybe we can you know hang out be friends or whatever. And he said, well,26300:34:19.230 --> 00:34:34.230Steve Olsher: I don't look at you. The way I would look at a friend as just a friend. He said, I look at you in a different light. So I have enough friends, I'm looking at you in a romantic way. So he just like threw that out on the table. And I was like, oh, okay.26400:34:35.130 --> 00:34:36.690Morgana Rae: Yeah, that's both26500:34:37.020 --> 00:34:38.100Steve Olsher: True, Mr bolt.26600:34:38.160 --> 00:34:47.640Morgana Rae: Exact right that's totally a bold move. So was there a moment. So obviously, you're kind of going along with it a break up with my boyfriend some random guy says, okay,26700:34:50.610 --> 00:35:04.590Morgana Rae: So at some point you're going along with it. But at some point, you must have, like, okay, this is the guy. This is my guy. And there you go. Was that, was there a moment for you or was this just like it just kept feeling easier and easier.26800:35:05.790 --> 00:35:19.530Steve Olsher: Yeah, I mean, it did keep feeling easier. I mean, it was kind of easy to not think about the other guy too because it was long distance relationship and all that other stuff and. But yeah, the more that we spend time together.26900:35:20.850 --> 00:35:30.120Steve Olsher: I kept thinking to myself, like, Wow, this is, you know, this is great. I like talking to him and you know he's he's funny and27000:35:31.110 --> 00:35:42.330Steve Olsher: We have, we have very different interests. So, but, you know, we just kind of teach each other about these things. And I think that's part of the magic to like with us is that27100:35:43.740 --> 00:35:47.460Steve Olsher: You know, we're, we're very different, but we're also very the same27200:35:48.030 --> 00:35:59.160Steve Olsher: And you know, when one of us learns about something, then we just kind of teach the other one about it. And since we're both kind of goofy, then it just, you know, we try to do it in a humorous way.27300:36:00.000 --> 00:36:06.660Steve Olsher: But yeah, to get back to that. I, I wanted to spend more time with him. And I thought, well, the other guys gonna have to go27400:36:09.600 --> 00:36:10.350Morgana Rae: So,27500:36:10.380 --> 00:36:17.940Morgana Rae: For those watching and listening at home. I'm still a person's male27600:36:19.980 --> 00:36:21.630Morgana Rae: And a snarky27700:36:24.090 --> 00:36:24.360Steve Olsher: Peter27800:36:25.770 --> 00:36:26.820Morgana Rae: Peter fact27900:36:26.850 --> 00:36:27.660Morgana Rae: Yes. Okay.28000:36:29.100 --> 00:36:29.490Steve Olsher: Okay.28100:36:29.550 --> 00:36:40.650Morgana Rae: Well, I think that the direct thing is actually one of those things, it's incredibly important, especially like as we get older, I think the importance of it is, is simply from the standpoint of28200:36:41.130 --> 00:37:00.030Morgana Rae: Do you want to spend the time developing a relationship when you have a particular motive right here's a, here's my romantic interest. Do I want to switch gears and be a pal. Do I want that, or am I better off sending it out like day one moment one28300:37:01.170 --> 00:37:11.370Morgana Rae: I'm interested in you, not as a pal. So, I mean, I personally think that's the only way to to go because otherwise you create a dynamic where it's conceivable28400:37:12.870 --> 00:37:28.920Morgana Rae: That Lena could have just simple, but I'm going to, I'm in a relationship, I have this this guy who is in you know Singapore or something. Who's far far away. And so I think it was really important because even if it hadn't gone Steve's way.28500:37:30.600 --> 00:37:45.150Morgana Rae: He the cards are on the table. He knows exactly what's up. And so to sheet, which I think is just an important thing for for viewers to just understand about getting what it is that they want from a relationship. And you were not midlife.28600:37:45.810 --> 00:37:51.060Morgana Rae: Crazy at that point you are what late 20th. Yeah, yeah.28700:37:51.450 --> 00:38:00.510Steve Olsher: I met him when I was, I had just turned 20 wait 25 yeah I think six or 26 maybe. Yeah, yeah.28800:38:01.290 --> 00:38:04.110Morgana Rae: So how is love better now.28900:38:06.390 --> 00:38:07.200Steve Olsher: That's a good question.29000:38:08.220 --> 00:38:15.150Steve Olsher: I mean, I would say, obviously we know each other a lot better. Right. So the likes and dislikes, and the29100:38:16.740 --> 00:38:22.410Steve Olsher: Other things that are non negotiable are pretty clear and29200:38:23.460 --> 00:38:26.340Steve Olsher: You gotta learn a lot of what those things are. Right, so29300:38:28.950 --> 00:38:31.620Steve Olsher: So, understanding what those what those things are.29400:38:32.940 --> 00:38:39.420Steve Olsher: I mean, definitely makes a big difference because reality is we probably spent as much time.29500:38:40.140 --> 00:38:50.130Steve Olsher: bickering and correlating and trying to figure each other out during the early years. Yeah, then we did, probably, you know, loving on each other right and so29600:38:50.760 --> 00:39:01.860Steve Olsher: But we both knew it was worth figuring that out and getting through it and trying to understand what each other really wants. And I think now we're29700:39:02.340 --> 00:39:16.440Steve Olsher: Just much more clear on what the other really wants. And I would also add that I think that when you're when you're younger, it's a lot easier to be very selfish.29800:39:16.950 --> 00:39:31.170Steve Olsher: And learning how to be selfless is something that is very rare for someone in their 20s, 30s, probably even, you know, their, their 40s and it's not until we're both now 50 that I think we're starting to29900:39:31.680 --> 00:39:45.330Steve Olsher: get even more clear on what that looks like. To be selfless yeah because sometimes you just have to like fill in. When they can't, you know, because sometimes life will throw whatever at you and30000:39:46.560 --> 00:39:47.730Steve Olsher: You know, you just gotta30100:39:49.620 --> 00:39:52.680Steve Olsher: You know, if for whatever the reason, I mean they can't30200:39:53.700 --> 00:40:04.620Steve Olsher: Present their best self, I guess. I mean, you just, you got to kind of fill in and do it even if you're mad at them, even if they're the one that caused, whatever, you know, you just have to fill in.30300:40:06.090 --> 00:40:10.770Morgana Rae: Yeah, you have to be nice and kind and loving, even when you want to kill them.30400:40:11.160 --> 00:40:11.640Yes.30500:40:12.780 --> 00:40:24.720Morgana Rae: I speak to a fair amount of people who, especially people that are sort of under 30 and they they frequently kind of describe it, that they're looking for a 5050 relationship.30600:40:25.440 --> 00:40:34.530Morgana Rae: And when I'm when I press them about it. It's sort of like, well, I want to move forward 50% and I want them to meet me halfway30700:40:35.550 --> 00:40:50.850Morgana Rae: And so my, my response to that is, is that doesn't really exist because some days I'm giving 100% some days I've gotten giving 2% because that's what's in the gas tank on any given day. How do you guys feel about that idea.30800:40:52.230 --> 00:41:06.870Steve Olsher: Yeah, I mean I can speak for myself and also just more gonna going back to kind of the original point of discussion here in terms of you're looking at people who have achieved a certain level, and then they're no longer with that person.30900:41:08.430 --> 00:41:14.250Steve Olsher: You know, I really think that the whether it's 100 Devon or 2% or whatever it is. I mean that the end of the day.31000:41:15.510 --> 00:41:27.450Steve Olsher: For me really just comes down to personal responsibility. Right. And recognizing that whatever it is that's going on that's that's bothering her31100:41:28.260 --> 00:41:48.090Steve Olsher: It is it is truly because of something that I did and that's that's 100% zero right and so to me that that's the hardest thing is is recognizing that it's, it is not 5050 I mean it is 100% and zero and and that's that's a huge31200:41:49.170 --> 00:41:52.050Steve Olsher: delineation between sort of the31300:41:53.220 --> 00:42:00.840Steve Olsher: Relationships that that work and survive and and have longevity versus relationships were31400:42:01.290 --> 00:42:15.900Steve Olsher: Just neither party is willing to take personal responsibility for their role, especially when it comes to to change modification, right, because so often, they want the other person to do what they need and change for them.31500:42:16.980 --> 00:42:19.110Steve Olsher: And that's just not a winning formula.31600:42:21.450 --> 00:42:22.410Steve Olsher: Anything to add to that.31700:42:24.810 --> 00:42:36.810Steve Olsher: I was just thinking it's kind of like day by day, that like, you know, sometimes, you know, sometimes you're giving more sometimes I'm giving more and you know we just try to31800:42:38.160 --> 00:42:50.220Steve Olsher: Fill in I guess. Yeah, man. Everybody's got good days and bad days and days of high energy and days of low energy. Yeah. Yeah. I mean just and triggers triggers. Yeah.31900:42:51.450 --> 00:42:51.810Morgana Rae: And32000:42:51.840 --> 00:42:57.810Steve Olsher: You know we got kids, and we have different triggers when it comes to the kids and the on that throws another dynamic in the mix of course32100:42:59.040 --> 00:43:07.050Steve Olsher: But, you know, there's, there are. And that's, I think that's a big part of having a mature relationship as well as just recognizing32200:43:07.890 --> 00:43:18.180Steve Olsher: Without it even happening what the triggers are and when, when a trigger is going to take place and doing whatever you can to solve for that. Before that really escalates.32300:43:19.350 --> 00:43:23.940Better if it happens not you know like don't keep poking the bear, you know,32400:43:25.740 --> 00:43:30.780Morgana Rae: So can you give me an example of how you prepare for a trigger ahead of time.32500:43:31.980 --> 00:43:41.520Steve Olsher: And so I know that like one of Lena has big triggers is feeling like she's not being heard, not being listened to. So32600:43:43.770 --> 00:43:49.590Steve Olsher: It's just, you know, it's the way it is right and everybody has their own triggers and so for her.32700:43:50.250 --> 00:43:58.170Steve Olsher: You know I know when I'm not paying enough attention or I'm distracted by my phone or whatever it is, or the computer or, you know, something32800:43:58.530 --> 00:44:08.370Steve Olsher: And I'm not fully focused. I know that you know she's got a pretty decent fuse. But at some point, it's like, you know, I want to be heard and you need to listen to me. And then the same thing, obviously, with the kids.32900:44:08.880 --> 00:44:16.740Steve Olsher: You know, it's just she's got a pretty long fuse. But after a while. It's like, you know, if I asked you to do something 12 times I know something's going to come33000:44:17.820 --> 00:44:18.780Steve Olsher: Exploding33100:44:18.870 --> 00:44:19.260Steve Olsher: So,33200:44:19.680 --> 00:44:32.820Steve Olsher: So I gotta try to get ahead of that when you know when i when i when i hear, for instance, I hear her asking one of the boys to do something for the fifth time like typically by the fifth time it's over. So I yeah33300:44:34.050 --> 00:44:34.890Steve Olsher: As an example,33400:44:36.030 --> 00:44:36.930Morgana Rae: That's excellent.33500:44:38.430 --> 00:44:38.760Morgana Rae: Yeah.33600:44:39.000 --> 00:44:40.710Steve Olsher: And then, you know, like just doing things33700:44:42.450 --> 00:44:53.010Steve Olsher: As simple as well you know he doesn't like that. So don't do it, or you know, he definitely likes that. So try to do it. So I don't know.33800:44:54.150 --> 00:44:56.250Steve Olsher: Just stuff like that. Yeah.33900:44:57.210 --> 00:45:01.440Morgana Rae: Yeah, it sounds simple, but it really isn't simple and practice.34000:45:01.650 --> 00:45:14.040Steve Olsher: Yeah, I am. I gave a friend, a piece of advice, not too long ago, which I think is another secret of the of the success and there's there's a bunch of them that I34100:45:14.940 --> 00:45:21.900Steve Olsher: Am now aware of that. I think worked really well, and a lot of that's, you know, could lean on her teaching me a lot of you know what works for her.34200:45:23.670 --> 00:45:25.590Steve Olsher: But, you know, one of the, one of the things that34300:45:26.970 --> 00:45:36.720Steve Olsher: I think most couples, forget about and have to be conscientious of is is going the other person's pace and being willing to34400:45:37.170 --> 00:45:45.750Steve Olsher: Do as I told my friend, you know, go her pace. In other words, like he really likes to hike and he's fast. He likes to go and just34500:45:46.020 --> 00:45:51.570Steve Olsher: You know, it's not as an enjoyable experience for his, his wife because she doesn't move at his speed.34600:45:51.930 --> 00:45:59.070Steve Olsher: So, you know, even just something as simple as going her pace in that regard. Like I know when we walk, you know, walk much faster than I do.34700:45:59.520 --> 00:46:08.820Steve Olsher: And we walk the dogs every night and I like to just kind of stroll, you know, and so just like and I know and that's literal and that's figurative right in both ways.34800:46:09.270 --> 00:46:22.590Steve Olsher: And, but, you know, going, going, your partner's pace in whatever that means is, is, is definitely something that, again, moves you out of the land of being selfish and in the land of being very selfless34900:46:23.850 --> 00:46:35.220Morgana Rae: So that's an interesting analogy, just from the standpoint, from what I know of you through sort of the personal development field, which tends to be very35000:46:36.420 --> 00:46:43.440Morgana Rae: High pressure. I would say I think very demanding I think probably very time consuming as an entrepreneur.35100:46:44.040 --> 00:47:00.150Morgana Rae: And travel. I mean, obviously we're at a place right now where that's, you know, probably not as happening as much. But I'm assuming just because I've, you know, married to my lovely wife that I know the kinds of demands that she experiences when she sort of in the thick of it.35200:47:01.710 --> 00:47:07.350Morgana Rae: And and i and Lena is a mortician, is that correct35300:47:08.730 --> 00:47:11.760Steve Olsher: Yeah, I mean, there's so many titles.35400:47:12.420 --> 00:47:14.760Morgana Rae: Right. But I guess you'd like to go by.35500:47:15.750 --> 00:47:20.880Steve Olsher: Oh, I don't mind mortician but it's you know embalmer or a funeral director like35600:47:20.910 --> 00:47:27.870Morgana Rae: Touch. Okay, just think that that is so cool. You're the first person who does what you do that I've met. Oh.35700:47:28.530 --> 00:47:32.370Steve Olsher: That's funny. A lot of people tell me that they're like you're the only one. I know. So35800:47:32.430 --> 00:47:42.090Morgana Rae: Yeah, right. So I guess what, where I was going at without trying to be too glib, is it Steve sort of like this high past high speed thing and then35900:47:43.020 --> 00:47:44.460Morgana Rae: Leaders working with the death36000:47:48.270 --> 00:47:50.220Steve Olsher: That's really funny. That's funny.36100:47:50.550 --> 00:47:51.180Morgana Rae: So, I mean,36200:47:51.210 --> 00:47:52.290Steve Olsher: What's your question, Devon.36300:47:53.460 --> 00:48:05.190Morgana Rae: I just sometimes like to hear myself talk no really what I wanted to hear from from Lena is like it was there an adjustment period for you when Steve's kind of like I've got my foot in a bunch of different pies here.36400:48:05.490 --> 00:48:13.140Morgana Rae: And you've got this sort of list. It's just I think a different different vibe. And was there an adjustment for you during that36500:48:13.770 --> 00:48:25.830Steve Olsher: No, I mean like when well when we met you know we just had different things going on. Like I was super busy when I met him, he didn't know if I was going to have time for him.36600:48:27.000 --> 00:48:35.700Steve Olsher: Because I was working. I was going to school. I was volunteering. I was a single mom, I mean, I just had like so many things going on.36700:48:37.380 --> 00:48:48.960Steve Olsher: But then, you know, slowly, you know, we just we're, we're always both kind of busy in our own ways. So, and I wasn't always doing what I'm doing now.36800:48:49.980 --> 00:49:02.250Steve Olsher: I've, I've been in this industry like you know roughly 10 years you know i've you know done some other stuff too. So I feel like his pace and my pace. They're both kind of36900:49:03.900 --> 00:49:08.850Steve Olsher: Like busy. We're both kind of busy bees. So I guess the37000:49:10.020 --> 00:49:12.660Steve Olsher: Compatible yeah yeah yeah well37100:49:13.680 --> 00:49:22.170Morgana Rae: You just listed a bunch of reasons that I hear all the time given as reasons why a woman's not going to meet somebody.37200:49:22.890 --> 00:49:35.790Morgana Rae: Not just because she tells herself that but friends and even teachers and coaches will say, Oh, you don't have time for love and you've got the kid and you've got all this other stuff. And I love that you just showed that for the BS. It is37300:49:37.800 --> 00:49:42.570Steve Olsher: Yeah, and I mean it really just kind of like I said it, it just kind of happened.37400:49:44.130 --> 00:49:53.040Steve Olsher: In a way that I wasn't expecting like I I kind of thought like, Well, I don't, I don't know if like marriage is ever going to happen for me.37500:49:54.030 --> 00:50:09.780Steve Olsher: You know, I just thought maybe just be like a serial monogamy test or something. And because I you know I just feel like I've always just had so much going on so much stuff that I want to do and so many interests that I didn't know and i mean i think that37600:50:11.220 --> 00:50:14.550Steve Olsher: It can happen like for anybody at any point37700:50:15.150 --> 00:50:24.840Morgana Rae: Well, and I have a hunch that somebody who didn't have stuff going on. Mm hmm would not be a good match for Steve.37800:50:24.930 --> 00:50:33.630Steve Olsher: Yeah, for sure. That's a great point. And, you know, the funny thing is, and you're talking about what what keeps it going and so on. And I think that's37900:50:34.260 --> 00:50:46.920Steve Olsher: That's a really important point is you have to have a lot of your own stuff going on so that you're not. I mean, it's good to be needy and wants to spend time with your significant other, of course.38000:50:48.180 --> 00:50:58.350Steve Olsher: But you also need to have your own stuff going on so that you remain interesting right and so she wasn't an entrepreneur.38100:50:58.980 --> 00:51:05.820Steve Olsher: Didn't matter, the things that she knew about where things that I had never you know we're all new to me it was like, you know, she was a teacher. I was student38200:51:06.300 --> 00:51:24.990Steve Olsher: I mean even even like simple things that you guys probably take for granted and others probably take for granted in terms of like food right like when we met. She was like, you want to go out for Ethiopian food and this was like 1997, something like that. Right. So 96 right wherever was38300:51:26.010 --> 00:51:33.720Steve Olsher: So not terribly far removed from the famine and Africa. And you know the the where you know that fun stuff. Right.38400:51:37.350 --> 00:51:40.740Morgana Rae: I really big portions for a starving country. Don't you think38500:51:42.150 --> 00:51:45.750Steve Olsher: She's like, You want to go and have Ethiopian food. I was like,38600:51:46.800 --> 00:51:48.030Steve Olsher: I didn't think they had38700:51:49.470 --> 00:51:57.360Steve Olsher: Like I had never eaten Ethiopian food right you know like as an example. I mean even Indian food and Thai food and all of these things that she just took for granted and she loved38800:51:57.960 --> 00:52:14.010Steve Olsher: And now all of that. I love all those foods, too. But, you know, for me, it was just like, it's a whole new world, you know, and I wasn't even familiar with, so there's there's different ways that you can educate and be interesting to your partner and38900:52:15.690 --> 00:52:25.020Steve Olsher: Do you continually learn and evolve and try new things and and that's part of what I think keeps it exciting and and fresh to39000:52:26.640 --> 00:52:28.380Morgana Rae: Something that I think39100:52:29.670 --> 00:52:30.630Morgana Rae: Is different.39200:52:31.920 --> 00:52:46.650Morgana Rae: In your relationship and you Steve. Then a lot of other people in our industry that I have known over the years is that I'm very often. I've seen the guru is actually very insecure needs all the attention.39300:52:47.970 --> 00:52:52.470Morgana Rae: And so the spouse becomes the support, but the star has to be the star.39400:52:53.850 --> 00:52:57.990Morgana Rae: And I'm not getting that between the two of you. It feels very equal39500:52:59.220 --> 00:53:07.590Steve Olsher: Yeah, I mean, you can speak for yourself on this one, but I know she was even bashful about doing this and do I even want to, you know, so39600:53:08.190 --> 00:53:18.750Steve Olsher: I don't know. You want to speak to that at all about Star versus star. He's, he's definitely more of the introvert. I mean, the extrovert, between the two of us. I'm definitely more introverted.39700:53:21.780 --> 00:53:24.720Steve Olsher: Yeah. Um, and, you know,39800:53:26.520 --> 00:53:36.180Steve Olsher: I like that. He's more extroverted, I do. But I don't know if you ever saw Chris Rock do tambourine.39900:53:37.170 --> 00:53:44.670Steve Olsher: Where he does the analogy of sometimes you have to be the one playing the tambourine for your like for your spouse and I feel like40000:53:45.030 --> 00:53:53.310Steve Olsher: You know when I need to do something, he's like, totally encouraging me to come out of my shell and he's playing the tambourine. So I mean it's, yeah.40100:53:53.670 --> 00:54:06.300Steve Olsher: Yeah, so we so we take these nightly walks with our dogs and it's about a mile and a quarter or something like that. It's a stroll around the neighborhood. It takes us about 3540 minutes or something of that nature.40200:54:07.770 --> 00:54:14.790Steve Olsher: And and so actually, last night, even I was saying to you that40300:54:15.900 --> 00:54:26.550Steve Olsher: It's just like, part of the reason why I want her to do more of these sort of things and encouraged to do more of these sort of things is because I feel like40400:54:27.510 --> 00:54:39.390Steve Olsher: I and those who know her best. But certainly, you know, I get the benefit of all that knowledge and all of that wisdom and so on, that is, it could be so valuable to so many40500:54:39.900 --> 00:54:50.670Steve Olsher: And so yeah, I mean like the funeral homes. A perfect example here, we're actually in the process of opening a funeral home together. And yeah, man. It's Bravo family Mortuary so I mean it's, you know,40600:54:51.090 --> 00:54:59.130Steve Olsher: It's for sure your thing with my support and I I personally think you know she has the opportunity to really40700:54:59.880 --> 00:55:08.670Steve Olsher: Reinvent that industry, in some ways, and take the lead on moving that industry forward and and just the wisdom and the way she cares about people and40800:55:09.300 --> 00:55:18.900Steve Olsher: You know, it's just not. It's not a business for her. It's a calling for her. And so I'm happy to to applaud that you know and and and put the spotlight.40900:55:19.710 --> 00:55:27.630Steve Olsher: On her because I think the world would really benefit from everything that she has within that, you know, it just hasn't really had an opportunity to share41000:55:28.170 --> 00:55:33.060Steve Olsher: Thank you. I want him to shine to at the funeral home because I really think41100:55:34.500 --> 00:55:40.770Steve Olsher: I really think that he would be such a good funeral directors. So I've been, you know, tell him because he's very nurturing and41200:55:41.850 --> 00:55:44.520Steve Olsher: He certainly much louder than I am, so he could41300:55:44.580 --> 00:55:47.070Steve Olsher: Like direct funerals and these things are true.41400:55:48.390 --> 00:55:49.890Morgana Rae: Yeah, come out of your shell, Steve.41500:55:49.950 --> 00:55:51.600Steve Olsher: Yeah, now I'm working on it. You41600:55:52.320 --> 00:55:56.790Steve Olsher: Know i think i think he'd be like, I think you'd be super with it.41700:55:58.020 --> 00:55:58.920But we'll see.41800:56:01.590 --> 00:56:05.160Morgana Rae: So I'm curious because we have two kids right41900:56:05.520 --> 00:56:16.440Steve Olsher: So we have two together and then Lena had a son when she was quite young. And so we have three boys one that's quite older now and then.42000:56:17.760 --> 00:56:19.620Steve Olsher: junior in high school and an eighth grader.42100:56:21.450 --> 00:56:23.760Morgana Rae: So have you thought about how42200:56:25.200 --> 00:56:32.100Morgana Rae: what the future brings because I think when we start talking about being of a certain vintage. A lot of it is42300:56:32.430 --> 00:56:47.610Morgana Rae: What happens when the kids move on, you know, those kinds of things when they go start doing their own thing. Like my kids now. She's a senior, you know, at a university and it's wonderful. And I'm super proud of her. But she's not here. He's also dying inside missing her wow yeah that's42400:56:47.790 --> 00:56:48.060Morgana Rae: That's42500:56:48.390 --> 00:56:50.760Morgana Rae: You know, that's a separate thing because you know42600:56:51.960 --> 00:56:56.820Morgana Rae: So have you guys thought about those kinds of things. And I guess you have one one son who's out of the home.42700:56:57.270 --> 00:57:05.280Steve Olsher: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So have we thought about those things, you know, I mean, we talked about, you know,42800:57:06.330 --> 00:57:14.580Steve Olsher: You know, sometimes we'll come up with things like, Oh, we're going to get a airstream and just, you know, like go everywhere and42900:57:15.900 --> 00:57:21.300Steve Olsher: Then I realized that I'll probably have to go to the bathroom and in a metal container somewhere in that is unappealing. But that's43000:57:22.530 --> 00:57:24.300Morgana Rae: If it's really high. I hate heat43100:57:26.640 --> 00:57:29.130Steve Olsher: So what else have we thought about after43200:57:30.420 --> 00:57:47.220Steve Olsher: For the next phase. I don't know. The thing is, like, sometimes we daydream about networking and then we realized that we love working. We just both really like working. I mean, we definitely like taking breaks and when we can be alone. It's, it's great.43300:57:49.710 --> 00:57:51.030Steve Olsher: But, you know,43400:57:52.110 --> 00:57:56.700Steve Olsher: I don't know. So maybe our plan is not to have a plan. We'll see what happens.43500:57:58.110 --> 00:58:02.040Steve Olsher: What do you think, yeah, I mean, I would agree. It's, it's certainly43600:58:04.950 --> 00:58:12.300Steve Olsher: Certainly appealing to look at what's possible when we, you know, when we have43700:58:13.530 --> 00:58:17.910Steve Olsher: Just ourselves to, you know, to think about. Right. But at the same token,43800:58:19.320 --> 00:58:24.540Steve Olsher: We're not trying to rush anybody out of the house. We like their company. And yeah, it's just43900:58:26.580 --> 00:58:36.960Steve Olsher: Maybe more more vacations and these sort of things together, perhaps other just alone or or together when when they don't have the obligations of school and so44000:58:37.920 --> 00:58:43.920Steve Olsher: Yeah, but the funeral home will make things interesting. It's just so hard right now it is with this sort of tunnel vision on getting the funeral home open44100:58:44.370 --> 00:58:52.470Steve Olsher: It's just so hard to see past what what life could look like when that's up and operating because that's gonna that's gonna be a pretty big. It's gonna be a big requirement.44200:58:53.010 --> 00:59:02.730Steve Olsher: Yeah, of time and energy and resources. And so it's just so hard to see past that and this moment. Yeah, I mean, it's an industry that never sleeps so44300:59:03.690 --> 00:59:14.640Morgana Rae: We're always sleeps. I'm sorry I couldn't, I couldn't resist. No. Well, I discovered last year when my father died that my uncle owns a funeral home in Ohio.44400:59:16.380 --> 00:59:18.810Morgana Rae: And my my stepmothers brother.44500:59:20.700 --> 00:59:40.470Morgana Rae: And I have just so much gratitude and respect for just the kindness and delicacy of helping somebody make choices at that moment, you know, is is is44600:59:42.090 --> 00:59:43.740Morgana Rae: Real. It takes a lot44700:59:45.960 --> 00:59:47.160Steve Olsher: Sorry to hear about your dad.44800:59:48.420 --> 00:59:50.400Morgana Rae: Thank you. Thank you. Um,44900:59:51.480 --> 01:00:11.160Morgana Rae: It's mixed because he had Alzheimer's. So there was kind of the, the joy of him being released and and then there's, you know, and then there's the loss. Yeah, yeah, it's something you know we all go through, which is why, what you do is so important. What the two of you are creating45001:00:13.080 --> 01:00:28.260Steve Olsher: Yeah yeah we complement each other nicely. I mean, when you think about the work that I do in terms of helping people really get more clear on on what puts fire on their soul and really making the most of this time while they're alive and then pass them off to45101:00:29.880 --> 01:00:30.750Steve Olsher: A business and45201:00:32.610 --> 01:00:36.900Morgana Rae: One of your kids just becomes an OB GYN, you're like a one stop shop for everything.45301:00:40.740 --> 01:00:41.730Steve Olsher: Whole thing covered45401:00:42.330 --> 01:00:48.660Morgana Rae: So is this the first time you guys are going to be working together, sort of like on a professional level like in terms of like a specific project.45501:00:49.740 --> 01:00:50.340It is right.45601:00:52.470 --> 01:00:58.230Steve Olsher: Yeah, yeah. Oh, well, we used to DJ together. We did. We did DJ weddings together. That was fun for a while.45701:00:59.730 --> 01:01:00.780Steve Olsher: For about a year or so.45801:01:01.260 --> 01:01:07.590Steve Olsher: They didn't clubs and done other things. And so that was. Yeah, that was fun. We did do that together. That was fun.45901:01:09.990 --> 01:01:16.020Steve Olsher: But, you know, formal type of business like this for sure, the first the first thing I actually46001:01:17.130 --> 01:01:25.170Steve Olsher: I haven't had a a retail sort of job and now even know how long like having to be at a certain place at a certain time sort of thing and46101:01:26.040 --> 01:01:37.080Steve Olsher: Having hours of operation. Yeah, I mean, it's been it's been decades. Yes. When you were in the building that we met in that's probably the last time. Right.46201:01:37.680 --> 01:01:51.690Steve Olsher: Yeah, yeah. But even then, there was flexibility and like people weren't counting on us to, like, it's not like we had posted hours on on a sign or whatever. Right. So it'll be interesting and and then that you know there's that whole dynamic to right of46301:01:52.770 --> 01:02:05.190Steve Olsher: Having to be there, which is 1520 minutes or so 15 MINUTES FROM OUR HOUSE AND THE KIDS BEING HERE. AND THEN are having to be there and the funerals and so that it does bring another another dynamic to the to the table.46401:02:06.330 --> 01:02:18.450Morgana Rae: Do you have any practices to just kind of align yourselves with each other or connector. You know, like the spark between you, or is it just46501:02:20.370 --> 01:02:30.150Morgana Rae: The kidding, and laughing and what's, what if we were to, like, take your secret sauce and package it to the masses. What, what would you put into that.46601:02:31.170 --> 01:02:31.710Morgana Rae: Um,46701:02:32.220 --> 01:02:40.740Steve Olsher: Well, I like to love styles thing because, you know, we try to, you know, respect each other's love styles.46801:02:43.560 --> 01:02:46.410Morgana Rae: Loves style. Yeah. What are your love languages.46901:02:46.590 --> 01:02:48.270Steve Olsher: Yeah yeah so47001:02:48.300 --> 01:02:49.770Morgana Rae: Monitor your love languages.47101:02:50.130 --> 01:02:56.580Mine is quality time and his is the affection one and so47201:02:57.930 --> 01:03:07.140Steve Olsher: Um, so, you know, that's one thing that we we definitely try to keep sacred. You know, like, try to get that time in and you know47301:03:08.670 --> 01:03:10.740Steve Olsher: That but also47401:03:13.560 --> 01:03:19.170Steve Olsher: We have a nightly dog walk and that's our way to47501:03:20.910 --> 01:03:35.160Steve Olsher: We, we just always have good talks with the dog lock and even if we're like cranky with each other, then you know it's it's a chance to try to make up but we've had silent dog walks before to when we're really mad at each other.47601:03:37.980 --> 01:03:42.630Steve Olsher: Yeah, there's been walks when like we're just like so mad that47701:03:44.220 --> 01:03:49.500Steve Olsher: It's a whole there's just one comfortable. Yeah.47801:03:49.740 --> 01:03:51.180Morgana Rae: The dogs. Notice47901:03:53.880 --> 01:03:54.150Morgana Rae: Like48001:03:54.300 --> 01:03:58.200Steve Olsher: To be sniffing the newspapers to figure out the Daily News is. Yeah.48101:04:00.450 --> 01:04:03.210Steve Olsher: I mean, I'd say, you know, part of it too is48201:04:04.770 --> 01:04:15.210Steve Olsher: Just carving out like you know like Lana segue time for each other. I'm trying to get the occasional couple of days away. Mom, or someone else come in.48301:04:16.260 --> 01:04:29.250Steve Olsher: To watch them try to do the date nights and try to be consistent about that, and even doing date nights with the kids where she'll get one kid, and I'll get the other kid, and we'll just do things.48401:04:30.300 --> 01:04:33.180Steve Olsher: Separately, but, you know, really, I think that the48501:04:35.430 --> 01:04:39.690Steve Olsher: There's always a which is, you know, that's a whole different story. But you know, that's, that's, you know,48601:04:41.040 --> 01:04:41.790Morgana Rae: Home I48701:04:41.850 --> 01:04:42.090Morgana Rae: Know,48801:04:42.120 --> 01:04:43.650Steve Olsher: Steve smokes. No, I'm not.48901:04:43.680 --> 01:04:45.600Steve Olsher: Just that was no I had an itch just49001:04:45.750 --> 01:04:46.290Okay.49101:04:49.350 --> 01:04:50.760Morgana Rae: Yeah, but, um,49201:04:51.090 --> 01:05:00.420Steve Olsher: But no, I think that the, the, just the fact that we, there are a lot of couples who do more things apart than they do together.49301:05:01.440 --> 01:05:26.070Steve Olsher: And we do much more together than we do apart. We still do things apart mean we're not always together and doing things, but I know I would say that we we do more things together then then then we do solo and you just have to think you just have to put in that time.49401:05:27.000 --> 01:05:40.980Morgana Rae: But I think you mentioned something earlier in our conversation about just having personal responsibility. And so the way I would look at that. The way I sort of consider it in my own relationship with this with my lovely wife is that it's it's49501:05:42.450 --> 01:05:48.480Morgana Rae: There's a commitment to. In other words, by personal responsibilities is to attempt, I failed quite regularly.49601:05:49.590 --> 01:05:54.570Morgana Rae: But to attempt to maintain the vows of what the relationship is supposed to be about49701:05:54.990 --> 01:06:08.370Morgana Rae: To let you know. I mean, real simple basic stuff to love our honor and cherish and just show up when things kind of suck, you know, be mindful of her love language and to show up for her and to realize that49801:06:09.000 --> 01:06:17.310Morgana Rae: The six. The success of the relationship frequently comes from my willingness to be selfless49901:06:18.000 --> 01:06:18.600Steve Olsher: Yeah, and that's50001:06:18.720 --> 01:06:25.500Morgana Rae: I think a real significant part of what sort of the day to day is because the weddings that you, as you know, we get married.50101:06:25.950 --> 01:06:37.260Morgana Rae: A lot will these do anyway we used to, but that will come back, like, you know, the world will heal itself. And at some point in time, we'll get back to normal. And so that's the fun ridiculous.50201:06:37.710 --> 01:06:47.880Morgana Rae: Photo off of what our relationship is. But really, a lot of it's just like, you know, she's testing camera equipment. It's like, oh, yeah, no, I have to take out the garbage.50301:06:48.450 --> 01:07:05.280Morgana Rae: You know, I'm willing the garbage down the driveway. And that's because that's, that's part of the deal killer. I mean, part of the deal is all the mundane stuff that you just have to kind of keep feeding into the relationship to make it to allowed to throw off. Yeah.50401:07:05.490 --> 01:07:20.700Steve Olsher: And I, and I will say just and further in that particular conversation that I think that's where when you when you try to have your partner do things that they're just not naturally inclined to do50501:07:21.810 --> 01:07:39.210Steve Olsher: It can cause more friction and and and concern right it's you can want to the cows come home for your partner to be, you know, a neat freak. Like I'm more of a neat freak. Then and Lena is sure is. Sure it is.50601:07:41.700 --> 01:07:46.650Steve Olsher: But I, you know, but I'm not going to change how she is. She's not you know50701:07:47.250 --> 01:07:55.500Steve Olsher: Dirty but I just like, um, I grew up in a house, you know that had roaches and mice and that kind of crap and it's just like I just freak out at the thought of.50801:07:56.010 --> 01:08:03.180Steve Olsher: You know having bugs in a dirty house and right sugar and things that attract dance and you know all that stuff. It's just, it's an OCD, or whatever.50901:08:03.720 --> 01:08:16.530Steve Olsher: And I'm just recognize that we're going to be on on different levels. And if I get frustrated that she's not cleaning. What I need to do is I just need to clean and stop being frustrated that she's not cleaning51001:08:17.280 --> 01:08:17.910Morgana Rae: Yeah.51101:08:17.970 --> 01:08:20.490Steve Olsher: Yeah, and she does clay. I'm not trying to say that, you know, again,51201:08:21.930 --> 01:08:26.550Steve Olsher: There's built in squalor, and all that. I just happen to be like OCD about it.51301:08:26.640 --> 01:08:27.360Morgana Rae: You're just51401:08:28.740 --> 01:08:30.570Morgana Rae: Totally random relationship.51501:08:30.660 --> 01:08:34.170Steve Olsher: Exactly, exactly right. And at some point, you can51601:08:35.190 --> 01:08:41.400Steve Olsher: Do you value the relationship more than you value the task, and ultimately, that's the question. That's beautiful.51701:08:41.880 --> 01:08:48.630Morgana Rae: I think we are just about out of time here. We got about 90 seconds I can keep talking with you for ages.51801:08:49.740 --> 01:08:54.240Morgana Rae: So where can people track you down. Now they sold off all of your51901:08:58.890 --> 01:08:59.310Steve Olsher: Don't52001:08:59.670 --> 01:09:05.790Morgana Rae: But if you but if but if somebody drops dead in the San Diego area, they go to Bravo.52101:09:05.850 --> 01:09:07.080Morgana Rae: Family. Yeah.52201:09:08.520 --> 01:09:11.310Morgana Rae: It's in the it's in the works right now like52301:09:11.490 --> 01:09:13.740Steve Olsher: Still doing construction and things like that.52401:09:14.820 --> 01:09:15.720Morgana Rae: Stay alive.52501:09:16.170 --> 01:09:18.120Morgana Rae: Longer. Yeah, just a lot52601:09:19.530 --> 01:09:19.980Steve Olsher: Longer52701:09:22.890 --> 01:09:39.030Morgana Rae: And for all of you who are still alive, Devon, I will be back next week, Wednesday, at 5pm Pacific time with more Crazy Sexy mid life love go join our family a crazy sexy midlife love com download Devon's ebook and we'll see you in a week.52801:09:55.500 --> 01:10:02.790Morgana Rae: Thank you for listening. The Crazy Sexy midlife love please sign up to join our free love family.52901:10:03.870 --> 01:10:31.980Morgana Rae: Sexy midlife love.com to get alerts to live shows call in and ask questions or just listening and ladies. Don't forget to download Devon's free ebook women are smarter than men and other secrets marriage minded women need to know. Also available at Crazy Sexy midlife love.com53001:10:46.830 --> 01:10:52.800Morgana Rae: Thank you for joining our science experiment you our first guests on camera. And our first couple53101:10:53.580 --> 01:10:56.610Steve Olsher: Well, we are honored. Yeah. Thank you.53201:10:57.420 --> 01:10:58.020Doug: Thank you for that.53301:10:59.130 --> 01:11:01.410Morgana Rae: I hope it wasn't too painful for you. Lena53401:11:02.760 --> 01:11:09.720Doug: Fantastic. I gotta leave you, but I'm just gonna leave the meeting. But you guys are there. You guys can talk as long as you want.53501:11:11.850 --> 01:11:13.860Morgana Rae: Me Down for numbers. Okay.53601:11:14.190 --> 01:11:15.570Doug: Me down as soon as you like.53701:11:15.690 --> 01:11:17.160Morgana Rae: I can't die. Thanks, Doug.53801:11:18.960 --> 01:11:20.640Morgana Rae: I'm glad to see it was53901:11:20.670 --> 01:11:29.460Steve Olsher: It was fun. Yeah, I was. I was I'm nervous because like he said I'm I'm pretty bashful at times. But yeah, it was, it was nice. Thank you.54001:11:30.240 --> 01:11:34.200Morgana Rae: Well, you're very personable and the camera loves you.54101:11:35.460 --> 01:11:36.720Morgana Rae: Oh, so just know that54201:11:37.740 --> 01:11:39.180Morgana Rae: So the podcast or54301:11:40.590 --> 01:11:40.800Morgana Rae: Like54401:11:41.820 --> 01:11:47.070Steve Olsher: Yeah, I'm trying to teach her to look at the eye of the camera, as opposed to the screen and54501:11:47.070 --> 01:11:50.220Steve Olsher: That's why it's hard. I can't do it.54601:11:50.580 --> 01:11:51.660Morgana Rae: I look wherever54701:11:52.050 --> 01:12:04.140Morgana Rae: I'm always looking just fit whatever my eyes are rolling around in my head. So does this mean did. Did I get the sense that the podcast, things are a you've just switched gears away from that, or is that something you're still doing54801:12:04.320 --> 01:12:12.300Steve Olsher: Oh, no, no, no. Those are still go yeah for sure. Those will still go so we'll just have two things going that are fun and exciting. So, yes.54901:12:12.480 --> 01:12:14.010Morgana Rae: You sold the magazine. Right.55001:12:14.280 --> 01:12:29.460Steve Olsher: We sold the, the, we sold one of the podcasts, we sold beyond eight figures, the podcast and now I'm selling reinvention radio the podcast but the but all the other related stuff continues to go, yeah, for sure.55101:12:30.660 --> 01:12:39.090Steve Olsher: And okay no more alone. And so no devil, we're not we're not giving up on on all that stuff, that'll continue for sure.55201:12:41.370 --> 01:12:43.770Morgana Rae: Can I get back in the group.55301:12:45.660 --> 01:12:49.500Morgana Rae: The, the new media Summit Group.55401:12:49.980 --> 01:12:51.780Steve Olsher: Oh, did you drop out.55501:12:52.470 --> 01:13:01.710Morgana Rae: I didn't, but I when I interviewed a certain somebody with a comfort dog, many, many months ago and suddenly was like zapped out of the group.55601:13:02.910 --> 01:13:08.460Steve Olsher: The your presence was taken out of the group as opposed to just the post.55701:13:09.420 --> 01:13:10.950Morgana Rae: Yeah, I was taken out of the group.55801:13:11.640 --> 01:13:16.890Steve Olsher: That's where I'll just put in and put another join group. And if that doesn't work, let me know. Yeah.55901:13:17.550 --> 01:13:18.810Steve Olsher: There's no reason that should have happened.56001:13:19.260 --> 01:13:19.680Right.56101:13:21.150 --> 01:13:24.570Steve Olsher: Kelly. Kelly knows how I feel about Alex maybe she was like56201:13:26.220 --> 01:13:29.940Morgana Rae: Yeah, I didn't, I didn't know that it was still like that between56301:13:29.940 --> 01:13:30.600Morgana Rae: The two of you.56401:13:30.660 --> 01:13:31.980Steve Olsher: It's not i mean i'm i'm56501:13:38.490 --> 01:13:41.280Steve Olsher: Any anger that needs to be held on to Kelly's got it right now.56601:13:51.390 --> 01:13:52.680Steve Olsher: That was Key and Peele yeah56701:13:52.740 --> 01:13:53.910Morgana Rae: Right. I love him.56801:13:54.180 --> 01:14:01.590Steve Olsher: That's great. So, well, you guys are just up the road we should hang out some time. Be good to do such things.56901:14:02.310 --> 01:14:10.470Morgana Rae: Yeah, well, we are we're close. It's wonderful to see you again. I'm glad that you guys are doing well and many blessings with with the future enterprise. That's great stuff.57001:14:11.790 --> 01:14:12.990Steve Olsher: You to keep us posted57101:14:13.440 --> 01:14:14.430Steve Olsher: Okay to you guys.57201:14:15.240 --> 01:14:15.930Steve Olsher: All right, take care.57301:14:16.650 --> 01:14:17.190Steve Olsher: All right, bye.57401:14:17.430 --> 01:14:18.390Morgana Rae: Thanks. Bye.