Voices of Courage with Ken D Foster

Courage to Love with cohost Julie Potiker

Guest, Dr Gary Slayer

Why is it so hard for so many of us to wrap our attention around loving ourselves? Well for me, I thought the concept was a little to self-centered when I first considered it. I figured there were enough self-centered people in the world and why should I be one of them. Then I started thinking about all the times I showed up at work or a party, or even at a family event and I felt less than others. Have you ever had the thought you weren’t good enough or felt less than others? If so, this show can change your life. I am calling it The Courage to Love and I am your host Ken D Foster.

I remember a time when I showed up for work and I was sick and tired of being treated like a second-class citizen. I was always saying yes to the whims of my bosses and co-workers. I really didn’t seem to stand for anything, and I wanted to look good at all costs. But cost it did. Every time I was in people pleasing mode, and trying to make myself stand out by helping others, I would get sliced up with words by co-workers or would be friends who most likely also felt less than everyone else and was using me as there punching bag by gossiping about my faults to try and make themselves look good.

At the time if I was being really honest, I often felt overlooked, overburdened, and like I never really got what I wanted. But I really didn’t know what I wanted, except I was hoping to be appreciated and respected.

What I was doing was trying to appear good looking, nice, and kind to get other to validate me instead of looking within and discovering what I actually felt and wanted for myself. I was validating my identity by what other thought, instead of what I thought.

At some point in time I realized that focusing on what others think, do and say, left me empty and forgetting who I was and what I stand for.

It took me some time to stop living from the outside in. I had to clear a lot of misconceived beliefs, choices and actions of the past, but it was well worth it. Because I did the work and found myself. My real self. The Soul. Today, I know who I am, I know what I am and I know how I serve.

Why is this important for you? Because when you know who you are at the core and the values you stand for. You start to be less focused on others people’s opinions and more focused on how you think, choices that empower you and the actions you take, which improve your life and the lives of others.

If airplane you are on has an emergency and the oxygen masks are dispensed, you need to put your mask on first, and then take care of those around you. You are no good to anyone if you can’t breathe.

So what is the greatest block to love. Fear,

Failure, Success,

Story of doing the work in relationship, writing my help wanted reverse help-wanted ad, from Barbara DeAngeles, and started believing I could change form the inside out. Here is what I did and what you can do to start attracting love in your life.

1. I Look at what is not working

2. Get clear with you values

3. Start asking daily what do I stand for?

4. Have Strong Boundaries, non-negotiables

5. Bring in Love, Love is an energy a vibration

   1. Loved being single, loved my simple life, Loved my friends

6. Make a commitment to play full out with loving yourself.