feeling lost and alone looking for validation from your partner only to find the feeling of rejection and continued frustration here together yet so far apart now your frustration is turned into disdain and resentment your insecurities have begun to affect every aspect of your life ironically you have now become the cold and detached one shielding yourself from the uncertainties of your relationships dr. April Brown has created bringing intimacy back a series of discussions that are designed to help you reclaim what you have lost along the way. Your April will help you ReDiscover and reconnect to the intimate relationship your heart so desires go to ww.w. Bringing intimacy back.com today and let the healing begin

yes welcome to the ring and intimacy back show my name is Doctor and so Brown and I'm wanting to rock and you guys here for the second self to bring intimacy back there where intimacy is Neil and on this show we ain't to help you increase the Internet connected with your significant other's children family business Network on your higher power we give you the secret power to intimacy intimacy intimacy that is being able to look inside yourself and learning how to be intimate all the way through to Mind Body Spirit and so until today I have a special guest who is dealing with and helping with and helping you learn about intimacy self intimacy and a healthy

the person that I have today is 10 Chevron Chevrolet Tim side he is the owner and primary exercise therapist nutritionist and personal trainer at Matt Lachey Wellness Center a native of Pine Island which is near Matlacha hearing on Southwest Florida and he has definitely deep roots here and feel so strong tie to the local community he has so many certification he's a certified fitness trainer certified nutritionist a certified exercise therapist also interested in cognitive behavioral therapy clippings of the facilitator and I'm a great believer in God y'all so does mine from them so he's a reminder for next Friday at my furnace empty as our instructor and a corrective exercise specialist welcome Tim how are you doing today

so I'm so interested in talking with you today about this healthy lifestyle and half this would like to intimate thing and that kind of stuff

can you tell us a little bit about your background

yeah my background I went to school and I severely injured my lower back. Yes yeah I saw a couple neurosurgeons after I injured my back they both advised that I not exercise I shouldn't have surgery but I also shouldn't exercise a really do anything I just need to take the rest of my life very easy and

well if it's not right

it absolutely was my entire life at that well for the repeal for five years prior to that it was involved my life was surrounded with exercise running being active working out all that kind of stuff so it was somebody that I should try to rehabilitate my back on my own if I wasn't in Daily pain but after that you years I got to a point where I felt pretty good I still have permanent nerve damage in both my legs which may or may not ever come back and then you know medical advancements but I lift weights very heavy everyday I you know feel great

it's brought me to where I become or where I where I am now and days late what that did is it got me into I decided not to pursue a career in medicine but instead to get into more a holistic approach a preventative approach to healthcare and you know I started that 20 years ago and I've owned gyms and other things soon and this is it's just kind of all brought me in this direction brought me here like you said you were very physically active and then you are a college student which I'm assuming around like 20 21 22 and then you have the

about what 23

I was about 22 23 right around there anything that happens to you and I'm a Believer starts in the mind first so many things I want to ask is how did you overcome that in your your mind to invent I'll get some people whenever something happens there are not resilient they just like give up

how did you open your mind

when I starting off from when I was growing up I was always overweight and I was told I was picked on and I was told things about myself that I would never cheat and you know by peers by friends you know I was just kind of fat dorky kid and I got to a point when I was in high school where I decided that no one was going to decide my fate I was the only one who can decide that and so if something was challenging. How did she even come up with that idea was it something your parent lets you were charged her friends are my dad achieved great things coming from nothing and achieving great things and that was a big part of it you know just looking up him and seeing that he never quit with anything

and you know striving with that same kind of focus I was you know really just one day I decided I'm done with this no one's going to decide you know I played football in high school that I always was not I was not very good and then my junior year I decided you know what that's it I'm going to start really applying myself I'm going to get where I want to be in life and no one can tell me what I can and can't do over the summer before my senior year I you know worked out everyday I ate right I started reading books on health and you know I lost 50 lb over the summer and I also happen to grow 2 in that summer and I came back and it was a different person and from that point forward you know I knew I could anything I put my I went from not being very good at football to making the All-Star team and Lee County and being mediocre at track and field and being ranked

number two in the State of Florida for throwing discus so I went did all that in one year's time so I've really ever since and I don't know what it's like it said it was probably a combination of my dad and my grandfather a little bit of you know with at the time I was and still a you know went to church every week and I was very my face was very strong and you know I knew that I really firmly believed and still do that I was able to let you know I could achieve anything I truly put my mind to think they have some kind of struggle going on their life where I might just get some and I'll come down what tips can you get to two sides of the process of the my

because everything else but body the food and all that works from there were six can you get them to help South Park in a mine

you know I think a lot of times you have to decide that you want to make a change

I think that's kind of that the biggest key is making that decision once you make the decision then it's all about kind of changing changing your habits changing your lifestyle change your thought process

you know so if if all the sudden it's kind of well so there's this it's a struggle inside and there's two wolves fight one of them is good and happy and love and caring and empathy and compassion the other ones greed and guilt and suffering and pain and you know the the young child says which one which ones with Grandpa

so

from that I really I use that a lot in my life and if I focus on the pain if with this injury that I had if I was to focus on that I'm never going to work out again that I'm never going to be able to do the things I want to do is but you know I would still be at that place today instead I looked at what I still have I was still able to walk I was still able to make up my mind and decide that I wanted to make sure you know so if you in my opinion if you focus on the good things positive aspects you know that makes a world of difference and that allows once you decide you want to do it

van Bleeker and the the positives will take you on the path to get you where you want to be first you have to be willing to change accept it and then you said of course it's just that determination to go for

absolute

yeah and it's you I mean you said the word acceptance that is that's one of the most important things I feel in life you have to accept your situation and then you can change if you don't accept it and there's nowhere to go from that definitely definitely works in that pasta you know because you do have to be thankful for the things that are coming out you know the things that you have so you know what your strengths are because I can help you definitely overcome a lot of your weaknesses

yeah yeah so definitely looking to take a short break when we come back I noticed that on your website you've talked about and he's into your intro mindfulness and cognitive behavior and I would definitely want to touch back no more until being intimate with the Mind Body Spirit and soul OK Google commercial break here I want to introduce myself a little guys my name is talk to April and what I do is I help you with relationship so sometimes if you feel like you're in a relationship with someone and he feel so disconnected with them

what I do is help people become connected because if you guys remember when you were born you apart be connected in this world with through the room and saw the introduction to the internet connection started at Birth but however and this busy world we have today sometimes who all the social media we've lost disconnect it be we've lost connection so one easy way to start connecting with people that are close to you it just sometimes given a small giving a hug okay easy ways to sometimes connect with the loved ones that are in your life I like I just wanted to give that little tip there and so now I'm 10 I know is that on your website that you talk about mindfulness

will you explain how that even related to what you're talking about but even that next pie because we all talked about the healthy lifestyle and what you eating all that other stuff well it really was and The more I've gotten into a basically mindfulness is the practice of being in the present moment accepting and acknowledging everything that's going on around you at that time and being non-judgmental towards just being and it's really you know it brings you the the key to it is to bring you in the present moment in the reason I'm not see mbsr that's mindfulness-based stress reduction because stress typically Stress and Anxiety is not really live in the present moment

it lives in the past lives in the future not so much in the present

Miss Miss lessen anxiety typically lived in the future or the past it rarely lives in the present moment and when you can get rid of all dad just acknowledge it when you're truly present in the moment that's what life's all about and that's kind of you know that's why I got into it I got well I got into it as a recommendation actually from the therapist that I see on a personal basis and it was just it was life change and it became so important to me in the beginning you know being mindful for 30 SEC difficult my final exam for the mindfulness certification was 6 hour meditation and about 26 hours wasn't that bad

awesome yes yeah and so I'm thinking about mine for this very high mean as a therapist I know and I talked about it and many people have a hard time staying in the present moment

yeah what is Q-tip to help them stay in the present moment

the biggest state in the way I start all of my mind from this group is bringing attention to your breathing so when if you can just sit there and breathe in and out notice the air going into your lungs heal the way your chest feels too busy as it standing and going down it just so that's a good way to kind of Center yourself in anytime doesn't matter what you're doing you can always bring your attention to your breathing but a good way to get into the practice is if you can do one task every day being totally mine and washing the dishes that is a great one cuz they didn't there's a lot going on.

you don't really enjoy washing the dishes you're not doing other things that I've noticed when you're on your pants is the water warm is the water cold does the texture of your skin change when they're so in the water all these different things to notice it's just so much going on and how many times have people washing dishes and never couldn't answer one of those questions you know so pick one or two tasks by doing that without adding any any real practice the rest of your day will slowly start

I'm being more mindful some more credit and so many times from eating many times of Wolverine

you know it's almost another reason why I kind of got into the highlands behavioral aspect is most of most common with weight problem it's not because they just love food so much they do you know they can't stop eating it's not that they don't know what they're doing because they're eating her mother we I've tried to incorporate this in to almost all of my Mindful and noticed if you want to eat a McDonald's cheeseburger that's okay but make a conscious decision to know that you're doing don't just go through the line shovel it in your face an hour later not remember it's a lot of times you know it's I'm in recovery from heroin

and I can relate a lot to food addiction because it's it's the same thing it's just most of time they've chosen well they've chosen a more acceptable out more acceptable addiction put me in jail and there's gets him in trouble but it's 40 years now when they're looking at some health problems and you sometimes so busy and we eat so fast when I'm mindful of what's going on what does that do to your digestive system

well typically right off the bat you're not chewing your food in the first part of digestion is the saliva in your mouth enzymes that will break down the food through this alive so right away you're not chewing food the way you're supposed to your body because you're not acknowledging what you're eating you're just kind of doing it it it doesn't prep the body the same way your pancreas is not going to do everything that it should be it shouldn't it it says you're not going to have an acidic enough stomach there's a lot of factors that are that are playing roles that when you're not fully knowledge and something's going on your body doesn't lie recognized as you said is things starting your mind or if you're kind of in denial or you're not even ignore

eating something your body will respond that way it doesn't truly I mean it's it's still to some degree is like yeah there's food coming in but you're so what are we do it it's not being a cohesive

you're not being cohesive unit you're separating the parts and we don't work that way we're one unit

yeah I never just different things like that and especially now

with there being less and less minerals especially in the foods that were eating we need to extract everything we can restrict basically minerals so we need to get everything we can.

Okay okay so what would be your suggestion for those who are struggling on the kitchen ass back what are some tips there

well I do a mindful eating court and you start with you holding your hand you smell it and roll it around your fingers you really sense and then you slowly put it in your mouth in your mouth in the whole idea is you take about 5 minutes and when you're trying to do you know you want to experience that food has so much to offer and it's in a food is very good we really want to experience it so you know just in that aspect in getting a better experience from heating it's going to be more

foretaste the ring I mean it's really focus on the food and get deep don't just take it for face value try to really experience everything it has like you sent this spending the time focusing on the food and where it came from and taking your time unless you've been taking your time to chew well health definitely helped bring even more gentleness to your body in a sense of how the food goes down and stuff

so I'm looking about take a little another short break and when we come back I would like to even expand out the next level of the physical part of what you do it's so I'm Tim I would like for you to cuz we have like 15 second commercial I would like for you to his commercial and tell us a little bit about what you guys offer add Matlacha Wellness

okay Center we offer we try to cover everything we can holistically we do massage therapy exercise therapy we do facials and skin care when there's all in organic skin care products product line Eminence we really tried the mindfulness we really try that cover everything possibly can

for overall health and wellness approach I'm really about

and down-to-earth as possible and One Stop Shop

Davila yes yes and I love that idea because I think it's all right I'll think I know it's all connected that sounds like yes so can you share with us the next aspect of this Wellness is were talking about basically in the sense of the body we had talked a little bit of course about mine and that's about it so I was wondering for the physical aspects of Wellness how does that work in your facility and what are you guys doing I have more I'm connecting with them

well the physical aspect is huge as far as overall health and wellness nutrition place I feel that nutrition and

physical fitness basically take play about equal roles kicking in overall help so we try to take it from whatever level someone's at the very basic to Advanced and we take it step-by-step at their pace and really try to the thing is I do everything on a very individual bass no one is Cookie Cutter no one is everyone is so different so and it's hard to say just just the physical is by itself night can't be everyone responds to give her feedback everyone responds to a different growth. We just take that one by one and we try to help keep people have to exercise better we teach people how to you know Apollo program and how to discipline accountability place

image role in it it's you know it's a very big if it seems simple but if there's a lot of moving parts for each individual person really make it work and I don't know if I really question best in that one but as I'm thinking about it that's kind of that's where my head pain starts going like it's more of an individualized approach when it comes to Wellness and if it's

you have to look at what's going to work best for for you you know for the individual we have to steam way

everyone is so different you know that it's hard to pick up a magazine and say you know where I was when it fell through so I can do this you know most people have to work most people have three different Lifestyles and that you know magazines and you know you said it yourself you got to say OK what's real is going to be sustainable how can I find an accountability part we're going to

but that's just because you know that drive so anything they can add to that you know it's going to be helpful

yeah I know even some ice myself I lost my years ago and then just trying to maintain didn't even reach my put on way it is an individual pause.

but I guess I've heard like there is Colonel Sanders maybe I don't know but I like it myself I feel like you have to work out three times a week I don't know if that's true and I

and you have to do cardio and muscles and

well I didn't know

I will say three times work safely to be the next number when you do that you do know the sexual assault but it two times a week is the only all that you can do you know that you know that's what you need to get an ID in let's just say there are 50 years old and no more than 50 pounds overweight with no serious health condition cardio two days off a week where they just do nothing that would be ideal perfect number one but it doesn't know if he's got to work

play by and I just think I'm kind of like what you were saying earlier and I'm guilty of it is that in the workout maybe he's got to be mindful right motions you should actually be mindful of it

Izakaya

does that mean you are absolutely during your workout your muscles will get so much of a more effective work you're better able to focus on them you can understand them really get that I mean honestly you get to know your body really becoming you understand your muscles other work and that's all because you're focusing on mindfulness training makes a big big dick

it really does what are your thoughts on what people be mean

two people just work out and be mindful and should they listen to stuff or how did this all the my how does it all kind of

well that all depends I would probably say if there's a type of music that someone likes that would be good but that's good as it comes in to help how to keep other sounds so just think of that is background me I wouldn't I wouldn't recommend listening to a podcast on what you want to do is you want to do inside of your body you know music but you really want to be focusing on the picture especially things like everyone can see their bicep and they know what it does but how many times have you thought about the muscles in your back and what they look like and what they do so it's difficult to contract those muscles properly if you're not really focused on

so by being mindful you're able to focus your attention to those muscles the really feel what they are doing and you're going to get a much better work out otherwise when you go to train back here in a few 90% of hit your biceps and forearms we're not going to train your back early though

okay interesting at the other day I was trying to listen to a podcast and work out in your life that's what I needed to go it was just so definitely something I know one of the things that has been said if when in The Simpsons it shows about Intimacy in about connecting and I kind of stuff do you see that when people work out together is it better if vs. when people work out a loan or when they workout their partner or family

interesting question and there's a lot of different answers to me one of my very favorite time someday cuz when I workout I love I love the intensity of it and the only time I'm going to work out with someone is it when I care deeply for someone because it's it's my favorite time of the day is the most important thing to me it's like my my rest time my free time you know that's what that's what's interest me right there is when I work out so if I invite someone to work out with me it's because I care for them and I want to experience that my favorite time of day of missed that first I think a lot of people

a lot of an accountability partner which I think it's good they have someone else there cuz if they meet someone else they're probably not going to do not show up the problem becomes when you're working out with someone else

are you focused on just talking and you know being a social Gathering or you really focused on helping each other get that that's kind of the key you are more the kind of person that you go to the gym and you sit there and talk for two hours and you work out for maybe five minutes you know you're probably better off working out on your own but if you can get an accountability partner where it's not just their kind of want you to show up but they're also accountable for you to push yourself in the focus and the work out hard that's a can of accountability partner you really need to do workouts so it kind of depends most the time I work out on my own just because I don't want someone to be distracting me and if I do choose to work out with someone it's because I want to spend special time with that first

okay yeah and so one of the things said you were saying right now is that I guess it's just kind of depends on the accountability partner and what the purpose of you guys going out and and working out together with your like you said just socializing or whether you're both keep each other accountable and motivating one another

yes

my connection got bad again for a minute 627-6008. Someone you working out with you it's got to focus on what the purpose if you're just out there working out together as socializing talk to you and I see my skin of your other accountable and twisting for the motivation is that what you were basically

absolutely yes yes so I notice you said that you it's your favorite part of the day is working on some people and I would include myself I haven't gotten a place that it's my favorite part of the day no to get to that point because earlier it's all about

starting here in the mine cuz there's a lot of us who are out there trying to work out but we don't love it

how can we work

what that in mind body and spirit

well I think he starting point is to focus on what you do like about if there if that's the case then what are you trying to achieve by doing do you want to look better if you want to feel that focus on those dolts focus on something focus on the best part about it whether you let's say you like bicep day or you like getting a smoothie afterwards or you like that you are working it on your heart health focus on that and really focus and every day is kind of like it's almost going to be affirmations for your workout it's like going to gym think I'm doing this because I love myself I'm doing this because I want myself to feel better to be better to be where I want to be and once and

after a while we're going to start feeling so it's in a just have to start and find the things you love

bright bright definitely going to take a short little break again and when we come back we're going to talk a little bit more about incorporating all of this hair well and my little break here this time I want to talk about something that is coming up next summer it's called vacation counseling and if you're wanting a paradise vacation without kids or you learn how to communicate with your partner me hear jail and gets inside vacation house when is your next vacation vacation counseling exclusive private personalized one couple of times at a five-star vacation rental home in Paradise which is here in Cape Coral Florida vacation counseling couples met with his status dedicated

aliens and effective therapists in their luxury vacation vacation counseling will start buy peppers for we can Retreat into proper clothing for the children couple will participate in the whatever kind tattoo Pilgrim go to jacksepticeye so I should listen and your hearing about vacation counseling stay too cuz you're going to hear more about it and the website for it will be up very soon alright

so it's a chance we have been talking about a lot of things the my spirit

and actually let me talk a little bit about the spirit aspect yeah how do you say that in relation to everything that you're doing the spirituality of the mind-body

I feel that everything really all of those things are very important in my life and change and the spiritual aspect you know what kind of find find its place in all of it I feel that you know the mindfulness of course it's a very it can be a very important component at least for me the exercise aspects you know why

far as the spiritual aspect aspect goes if in all

if I don't be careful if I'm not careful and I don't I don't make sure that I stay in touch with my spiritual side my ego starts to pick up it is very easy I start getting a little too carried away in the gym he might start getting more focused on myself then I am in helping others and so all of this is is it helps

keep things in check you know it keeps me again and it's it's very important to me you know

we make keeping balance in keeping focus and making sure that I'm focused on the right parts of my life

yes for me to keep want to go a hundred percent whatever I do what I want to do a hundred percent I want to do it not at all balances my Norm is not to have to balance my Norm is to either work out 20 hours a day or work 20 hours a day or do drugs 20 hours 24 hours a day do you know it's it's whatever the main you know whatever I'm doing I'm doing it completely

especially with my spirituality is including balance in my life trying to be okay with the fact that I only might work for 8 hours today being okay with the fact that I'm only that I might skip a workout today because it's more important to me to be with my Sam you know it's it's just making sure that I stay on point and jeeps

that good balance is once I start getting out of balance you know it's just again it's a slippery slope for me

yeah I did I think that life has to be balanced but it's it's it's hard because sometimes like you sit here beside some higher power with all our hearts money self the other part of loving your neighbor as yourself and what I think sometimes it many times were either too focused on helping everybody else or we're all about us

you have a way of how people cut themselves

you know I did not make it at the 90s before you wreck yourself jacket men can show you that your balance

I have people in my life that I'm very close to and then I trust and with these people now they're their guys and then my wife people that I trust and they you know we talked about different things and their people that I talk to you about you know meeting them to get kind of crazy things going a little slightly awry one way or another for me you know they'll let me know and my wife of course she's also a couple friends and see if they see me doing something a little oh you know you really think you should be you know working this much whatever it might be I listen I don't think I've said that in place it's kind of like

security blanket for

right right I find it that again that's countability and I find that accountability for me is it is really important and accountability partner assembling that you're accountable for your kind of book 2 and vice versa and how that definitely helps you know and keep everything balanced next kind of stuff yes

9 healthy lifestyle is healthy from easy for me to rational

any where is someone else looking at my life so if you know that it's not really the best apartments in Lakeway

I know you definitely cover a good portion of what I do

I think the important things you know really with all of the important the most important things with health Wellness

their balance and getting to know yourself on a deep level you know they're accepting yourself and choosing to want to make changes to improve your life and that's and that's really what it's all about it it's not an 80 lb in muscular and all this stuff

it's not about any of that that's just you know I like it but it's all about being kind to yourself loving yourself

and giving yourself that your dessert to numb yourself out with food you don't have to remind me to do things her at all this but most of us have some kind of compulsive behavior that you know and more and more people are diagnosed with diabetes and it's just becoming well we'll just give you medication and you know no problem it's amazing

diabetes affects you on many many different love I mean blood stops flowing in your legs stop working and then you know I deal with people like that everyday and it's sad and they didn't expect it to happen and it's a very slow very slow slow slow thing that happens in day after day you'll be like well start tomorrow Tomorrow Never Comes tomorrow needs to be now yeah I was very fortunate that my compulsive behaviors were immediate and got me involved because if it would have been 40 years from now it's it might be too late do you have to love yourself you got to treat yourself the way God intended you to treat yourself and have took a lot of respect we treat our cars better than we treat our body on a daily basis and that's you know that's the shape

how we grow up you know so you know your car is clean has always been a big part of childhood and so it becomes a pattern that we just eat like we didn't tell her to without parents did and all of her son now and I see said earlier the Food Lab healthier

then it was back there now you know them things so we're getting bigger and bigger and more diabetes and other illnesses

that's unfortunate

I am to year old kids how to take care of their body definitely and teaching someone or even if you know most of the store it's all stuff it's ready and that's you're a lot better off cooking with lard then you are cooking with some kind of hydrogenated vegetable oil do you know natural stuff learn to cook yourself have some fun with you by any chance

our resources are resources that all you want to stare wellness.com okay but you know that I have to give their very basic in state of the outside of the store if you have to put yourself if it's already made don't buy it you know you're going to end up saving money you're going to get better food you're going to feel like it's amazing once you eat clean for let's say a couple weeks then you eat something bad you feel like garbage and you realized if that's how you felt the whole time

yes definitely yeah well thank you Tim so much for being on the show for riding us information on your website on 5th another place where you blocked

toddler braids on the website and I also have I put YouTube stuff and different stuff like that so it's just a blender find information also find that Mac was paid Wellness he's been giving us tips and yet many more tips out there are you in if you're in the area of Southwest Florida by Pine Island and Cape Coral thank you again for being a real thank you