Since we pretend nobody looks at porn, it doesn't seem like a big deal, but did you know that 1-in-3 men who are 18-to-30 years old self-identify as a porn addict or that 28% of people have admitted to looking at porn at work in the last three months according to two studies?
Is a show like yours is a perfect place to have a candid, yet classy, talk about porn addiction? It can happen to anyone, but they can get through to the other side, much like I did – especially with the help of my wife.
After my first book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” was released in Jan. 2018 and I launched my website, RecoveringPornAddict.com, it surprised me that I got far more messages and questions from wives and girlfriends of pornography addicts than the addicts themselves. Upon learning – with or without her partner’s knowledge – about a husband’s or boyfriend’s addiction, negative feelings and difficult questions usually come rushing into a woman’s life:
* Does he look at this stuff because I’m not enough?
* Is this cheating? It feels like cheating?
* Was he like this when I first met him?
* Am I just supposed to stay here and deal with this?
My road to pornography addiction expert wasn't easy. It went straight through addiction. In a nutshell, I rose to local celebrity status in Maine as the publisher of a well-respected magazine as a member of the City Council in my town. You see, I was hiding the secret of not only my mental health issues, but also my porn addiction for 20-25 years. My addiction escalated and in late 2013, I engaged a teenage girl online in a chat room. I ended up doing six months in jail for that, but thankfully, with a lot of professional help and support, I have completely turned my life around and now use my story (my first book has sold over 1,000 copies and is currently in over 250 libraries) to give hope to others.
As for my story, my wife stood by my side during my early recovery, encouraged me to speak out about it and I now get email almost every day from women who are seeking help regarding their partner's porn addiction. That’s what prompted my new book, “He’s a Porn Addict…Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions” which came out on December 1.
As I’m sure you know, a sense of loss, betrayal, sadness and anger is completely normal, but there are difficult questions to answer and a rocky road ahead for the woman who has learned her partner is likely a porn addict. The good news is that there are plenty of people who have been through this and their relationship not only survived, but it eventually thrived, as mine did. I talk about that journey, and what women can expect – both good and bad – in the new book.
If you have any interest in featuring me on your show I would love to share my story with your audience and let them know that there is hope for a relationship even in the face of pornography addiction.
Joshua Shea is a pornography addiction author and educator from central Maine. He has been in recovery and relapse free since April 1, 2014. Shea has appeared on over 80 podcasts, radio and television shows discussing both his story and the worldwide problem of pornography addiction as a whole. He's published two books, "The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About" in 2018 and "He's a Porn Addict, Now What?" in 2019. Shea owns and operates RecoveringPornAddict.com, a site for resources and discussion for both pornography addicts and their partners. He also maintains PornAddictCounseling.org, a peer advisement site for those affected by pornography addiction. Shea is married and has two children, three dogs and five cats.