Every Day Peace with Dr Dravon James, August 17, 2021
Every Day Peace with Dr Dravon James
Yasodhara and the Buddha with Vanessa R. Sasson, and Prioritizing Mental Health with Karen Warner
In addition to being a mother, wife, and business owner, Karen Warner was plunged into the role of caregiver when a loved one suddenly fell ill. She will be sharing details on her life and her book, The Sudden Caregiver. Plus, Vanessa R. Sasson brings a new and refreshing feminist perspective to the life of Yasodhara, the wife of Buddha, a woman who has remained mostly nameless throughout history.
In today’s busy world it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and disconnected. Dr Dravon James helps to inspire, empower, and educate people to live the life of their dreams. Focusing on health, wealth, and relationships, Dr. James offers strategies that work for everyday life.
for 28 years Unity has celebrated with prayer this year the celebration happens September 8th and 9th and you are cordially invited to join the events online this is the day we unite hearts and Minds around the globe in prayer and contemplation enjoy some inspiring speakers music submit your own prayers to be included in the visual for this free online experience today at World Day of Prayer. Org<br> practical spirituality<br> positive messages<br> this is Unity online radio<br> the voice of an Awakening world<br> Empower yourself and get inspired to build the life of your dreams<br> welcome to Everyday peace with dr. dravon James<br> hello and welcome to our show I'm dr. Dre Bond James and this is everyday a piece I am so super excited to be here with you today as we explore the concept of living a life of Peace everyday peace Define is wholeness completeness nothing missing nothing broken totality my goodness I want you to just if you can right now close your eyes take a deep inhale through the nose through the mouth it doesn't matter what does matter is that you push that Billy straightforward and you fill it up with are all the way up into your chest just getting really full of air hold for just a second then exhale all the way pushing that belly button all the way back towards the spine so we can deep deep deep exhale let it all out<br> and know this about you<br> is that you deserve<br> everyday peace every day peace is possible and yes you can have peace everyday we work together on this show to bring you the topics and the guests that partner with you is you create your life of Peace everyday and I want to say that I want to add this word to that to that phrase as you consciously create your life of peace every day there are talk a little bit about that in our everyday peace with it but I want to just throw that little work near consciously so if you missed last week's interview you miss the Makita Carol a therapeutic and mental health coach with over 20 years of experience like he gave us real everyday strategies to help parents rebuild and enjoy their relationships with their teenagers you know that's valuable information she talked about<br> extremely helpful therapy coaching called parents train up equipping parents to empower their teenagers this was a very impactful show and back we're going to have her back on because she had so much more information it was really kind of stuff is made of light bulbs off of your head like oh yeah that makes it very practical and it's so much needed in today's society so I encourage you to go back and get all those tips not if they're not for you if you're the grandparent get them for your children if your aunt and uncle get them for your for your siblings this information was very valuable you can access this show and in fact you can access our entire library of shows by subscribing to the doctor dravon James everyday piece podcast on Apple Spotify Google Play and<br> picture and you can also listen to our shows our kinds of our shows are the unity online radio. Org website another great place and I highly encourage you to visit this place is on our new and improved website every day peace content can be found on our new and improved website and that website is www.medicaid.la.gov drayvon james.com so www. Dr drayvon james.com on that website you can find our history of our show archived shows you can also find information to some of the questions that you guys emailed me I love getting your emails but I love it when you visit my website too so it's a win-win situation for all of us but you'll find transcripts from past shows you'll find words of wisdoms there you'll find encouragement you'll find excerpts from my book you get contact information for those of you who are reaching out I want to thank you all for the big<br> I'm showing and encouragement and all your positive feedback on our latest coaching program leaders in high heels thank you for that you can you can if you want more information about leaders in high heels like to the website www. Dr drayvon james.com enter in your question right there and comment and we will be sure to get back to you as soon as possible so I'm you can get to us that way you also have free courses there so you want to check that out bookmark that website visited often so that you can be in the know as you are a very valuable honorary member of an everyday piece we call you everyday Peacemaker that's what we all are everyday peacemakers well I mentioned and I'll keep mentioning that we are over halfway through 2021 and on those of you who are regular listeners know that our anthem for 2021 is what are we waiting for and by now and we know the answer is<br> we are not waiting for anyting we know that now today is the day to take action on the life of our dreams and we have wonderful guests that we bring on to the show to help us just throw us into action to get the creative juices of going and today is no exception we have two wonderful guess today we have Karen Warner will be with us today providing us with tips on how caregivers can prioritize their own mental health we also have Vanessa Sazon with us today to be sharing her evocative story of the bull from the perspective of a forgotten woman your sorrow the Buddha's wife so we're going to eat we really care about to do this why we hear about the boot up but she's going to give us a refreshing perspective on that but before we get to our guess we're going to talk a bit about our everyday peace moment and I want you to know that as at as I come to you on the week during the radio program<br> Crystal full because<br> there's so many other things we could be doing with our time but we take this time to gather together as everyday peacemakers to strengthen our self to encourage yourself to learn so that we can go out into the world and serve at a higher level in order to be that person in order to do that we know that we've got to fill our self up we've got to consciously be aware of how we are using our internal tools so that we can have a positive impact on the external world so we're talking about the idea of we've been focusing on the theme for the last few shows the idea of<br> living living your best life requires that were in this moment and to do that we've we've got to be able to let go of the things that are strangling us and keeping down our creativity and keeping us immobilize it got to be able to let those things go and we're talking about some ways to do that so just a quick recap for our last two shows we said we have to make the active decision to not take anything personal and that's when The Four Agreements you guys know we talked about that book in the past we've got to state number to leave got to stay tuned into this moment so we don't miss the magic that is occurring in this moment I assure you where did this is the best day of your life or this is one of those days that you could do without smashing occurring in this moment become hyper focused on this moment think that you do not miss the magic that's happening in this moment and number three is that we need to let go<br> of the belief that we are not enough just let it go you know how that happens in our life we start that little self-doubt well I'm not good at that I'm not good at that before you knew it you talked yourself into a whole world went up not good enough right now in this moment let us each make the decision it is a decision to say that I know in in this moment I know everything I need to know in this moment to make the next decision on my pathway on my journey to my ultimate good so letting go of the belief that you're not enough is a conscious decision making that conscious decision making a decision is making a conscious decision being aware of their choosing one thing over another<br> are everyday peace moment today is to consciously choose to believe that you are enough because you are so with that or head right into our first guests of the day and our first guest is Karen Warner Karen plunged into the role of caregiver in addition to being a mother a wife a business consultant and owner Karen was forced to add another roll to her set she brings a level of gravity to the role that family members are forced to play when a loved one suddenly Falls ill she will be here today sharing with a tips on how caregivers can prioritize their own mental health welcome to the show Karen<br> thank you so much it's so wonderful to be here I'm excited for you to be here as well because what I know for sure is that as we live longer right and as we are so busy no multitasking and all of this stuff the likelihood that at some point in our life will become somebody's caregiver is pretty high so I think this information that you're sharing with us today is very timely and I'm excited to hear your thoughts on the matter of your tips so we don't have a lot of time but just give us a brief story about how you came to be this caregiver how you came to embrace that role as a caregiver<br> well sadly my late husband we were just really figuring things out and kids were launched and everything was really going well for us and we took a great vacation and celebrated my birthday and everything we had just a wonderful summer and everything was great and then I was traveling for business and I got a call in the middle of the night and he said you know I've had this kind of nagging back pain I went to the ER and they just diagnosed me with stage four metastatic cancer so we literally went from happy happy happy everything is really finally you know we got it all together to do my what do we do with this and it joined we joined together and we saw it as much treatment and the best treatment that we could find and your tireless<br> but in the time that he got that sun diagnosis I became a sudden caregiver which is the the name of the book that I ended up writing it about this experience<br> wow and I could imagine that took a toll on you and what's not in this dummy is what you said when you finally get it all together she you are faced with this challenge of another one of the many hats that you had to wear them and give us the name of the wonderful book that you've written again and it's a roadmap for resilient caregiving Misfits on Amazon I have a website called the sudden caregiver you can also get to it through there but it I wrote it because caregiving is difficult but I also wanted to share how to build resilience as a caregiver and have a practice of resilience because it's not all bad and that's what the research says but I found other research and lived experiences that I share in my book<br> and I love the fact that you're talking about the sudden caregiver cuz they're just something like that getting that diagnosis all of a sudden really is a game-changer for the entire family's not only for the patient but for the entire family so when you get something sold out of the blue like that you haven't really had a chance to adjust to things and you need to make decisions quickly and programs and in the way you do things need to change how how do you ditch the guilt of taking time away from you in this role as it is and I love is a sudden caregiver oh so you're you're you're thrown into this no training no no no time to mentally prepare for this and you thrown into this how do you get some time away and how do you how do you just get some time to process it but I had a coaching client earlier today who just said this exactly when I need 30 days to myself<br> well any time to yourself without feeling it is you have it's it's a little bit of what you said as you were opening your program which is we have to live in the present and we have to look at what's possible caregivers are known the research says about 50% of caregivers reject Health they want to do it all by themselves and so the first thing is to find your people circle the wagons and find the people that will support you as a caregiver that will at least put you in a position of being able to take that time for yourself and then the second is take the time it is it is hard to walk away it is hard to ask for help and it's hard to walk away from a list a mile long of what you need to get done but when you put it on your calendar make a day<br> if your self find ways to either take small breaks during the course of your caregiving Day which I highly recommend that's part of my my resilience builders in my book but also to build in longer-term things if you wanted to take a little vacation I don't know about taking 30 days I understand the Instinct for it but but to really be able to build that into what you're doing and the people that are surrounding you and help you<br> I love going to a support network getting a finding out who you have in your tribe that can do that can help and pitch in and I think sometimes just getting a couple hours away can be beneficial in the in the also can be very difficult to do when you're the prize is that you have to take care of yourself before you really can authentically take care of someone else you got any those self care needs that time away no matter how small is important to recharge that battery and it's not easy I just want to make sure that I had knowledge for the caregiver senior Odyssey it's not easy to do so in my book I talk about just sort of entering the garden of resilience like put yourself into a new place in your own heart and soul where your<br> walking into okay I am going to build my own practice of resilience just like you know if you decide you're going to work out or get fit or run a marathon or play a musical instrument you've got to find a way to practice that it's not going to just happen and I think what my biggest message is it is possible to get there but you're not going to get there if you're just constantly allowing yourself to go under the wheels of your caregiving situation<br> oh I love that piece of advice is going to take practice you know what you're going to have to you going to have to try and do what you can consider to be failure few times that's okay it's the trying that matters right so yeah I think that's so very important so when you're taking care when your thrust into the role of of sudden caregiver one of the one of the things that I know seems to be important is it you are able to get everything organized and maybe your life wasn't that organized before maybe your prices he's right what if there's ever a time where they where they need to be in place it's when you're trying to wear so many hats and one of those hats is being a caregiver for someone how what what advice would you have people about getting their place just go and buy it in order I'm laughing at you because I that is not my strength I am not the most organized person in the world I always say I have a thin veneer<br> play Stubborn people looking at me think I'm organized but I'm really I really work at it but that's where I really started my book because what I started with was this idea of a roadmap that you're going through a process with the the care receiver that takes place over time some people very short. Of time for me we had 18 months we were hoping for five years some people who are caregivers of your parents are aging or or who have Alzheimer's a form of dementia that's a long haul and so what what I have suggested I swear I started at the center of my book is a road map and it spells the word care and if you go from crisis suddenly in the situation to his normal as possible and that you're trying to stretch out for as long as you possibly can and then there's some resolution<br> sometimes people go into remission they move forward it back into their their regularly scheduled but sometimes as in my case the situation resolves with the I lost my husband and then there's an evolution Evolution point which is evolving out of the role of caregiver and each of those phases has a series of very practical things that you can consider like what are the ways to be organized so one of the first things I did which I recommend every time someone calls me and says hey I just became a caregiver I created a binder and this was my Bible and because I knew that we would have family members and and other friends coming in and help and so we kept I just thought I don't want to be the person that loses the receipt or loses the prescription not everything is online so I can literally put a binder together I have a<br> call League he he cares for his mother his aging mother and he says I have a black briefcase for Monday's that's Mom day and I have a brown briefcase that's all my business work so was some one person I spoke to keep the shoe box but whatever your preferred place to gather information everything went into that book and then when we had a doctor appointment we would just grab that binder and take it with us knowing that anything we needed to would be in the binder<br> all that is such a great idea that way it doesn't matter it's all it's all together grab-and-go run book in the way that the the care provider can really care for them self and I'm in gfit so instead I need 30 days away and we and we know that sometimes that's not often times two weeks ago it can be a problem 30 days can be almost impossible to what would you recommend that caregiver do in order to in order to feel as though that they were Valium today you know in that day<br> you too take care of yourself it is again very difficult to do and I don't take it lightly but I do go back to things your mom told you when you're going into kindergarten so when you're suddenly becoming a person detach from your family out in the world there's you no eat your vegetables go outside and play get some some fresh air walk in nature see the blue and the green of what's outside that's a very restorative thing you don't have to go for a run but just being out in nature even no matter what the weather is finding a little bit of every day to take some quiet time for yourself and in the last year with covid-19 extremely difficult to do because you can't just run out to a therapy appointment your therapy appointment is probably going to be you know upstairs in the attic and in a corner where no one can hear you<br> while you're trying to while everyone else is working from home so it's been it's been a challenge for people to get that quiet time but just find a little ritual for yourself that maybe 15 minutes while I call a friend have a cup of tea I would have a cup of coffee at 3 everyday that's just my thing and and I really tried to allow myself to stick with that other things are like do a crossword puzzle just small Drake's and there is research that says that when you take the small mini brakes for yourself to 15 minutes to an hour you will actually get that back in energy that's been depleted so there's a there's a nice recycling of your energy if you can do that and then your own resilient but sometimes we just don't believe we are resilient or resilience isn't going to work but we all have deep reservoirs inside ourselves that<br> maybe haven't been tested until you become a caregiver and it's disability to reframe something from the glass is half-empty to the glass is half-full and those things take effort but those are some of the things that I thought I would share with people to just allow one other thing but if I what your mother would also tell you is get enough sleep and that was so difficult in a good day that's hard for me but as a caregiver it was extremely challenging and there are some really great apps out there now for that are very meditative with me you were saying to take a breathe in and breathe out there's an app called calm calm which is really is very helpful to sort of let go of the day put the day down and allow yourself to be where you are<br> oh I love those sips and before I want to go out before I go back and recap one of my favorite types of teachers and some life lessons in there I would love for you to tell our listening audience how to connect with you because you are an Executive coaching you do it at the coaching as well how they can connect with you how they can get the book again to Amazon<br> okay sure so I have a website called the sudden caregiver.com ww.w. The sudden caregiver.com and I my email address is on there but that is k a w s as in Sam as a controller my last name kws at the sudden caregiver.com the book is on Amazon you just type in the sudden caregiver it comes up I also have on my website some some of the things I've been talkin about are there free for downloads so you just click on the link on my homepage and you'll get I have a Graphic called it's an infographic called Pathways to well-being that kind of talks about some things I just talked about the roadmap is also out there and it's either way it's free just download it those are in 53 million caregivers in the world in the United States many more in the world and we I just want to reach as many as I can<br> with as much help as I can give people I love that and you said something that I really wanted everything you said he has been so helpful but this one particular thing just really been on my heart started playing a little song in there it was to trust your own resilience listen to your body and you listen to your body when you said that because you said you know you're going to discover some things about you that you may not have ever discovered if you weren't tested in this way my goodness the truth in that right is that yeah everything in this is a philosophy that a principle that teaching My Philosophy everyday peace that everything that happens The Good the Bad and the in-between happens for one reason and that is to bow down and serve you as you consciously made the decision to strive to your next level of greatness and even in this this this is a moment that none of<br> switches for bird will touch so many of our Lives if you end up having to care for a loved one and you know you may not feel like you're prepared but in that moment in that moment learning to listen is so very important and I really enjoy them information to share it with us Karen please reach out the book is amazing you are amazing thank you for being a guessing everyday piece thank you so much dr. Dre Von James it was wonderful to talk to you<br> you're listening to Unity online radio<br> the voice of an Awakening world<br> create and build a life of your dreams welcome back to Everyday Beast with dr. dravon James<br> welcome back to Everyday peace and Dr.Dre Von James this is at every day peace and I am so excited for our next guest Vanessa Sazon is here to discuss her book now I'm going to say this right and the Buddha and this we all know about the Buddha Buddha that's no stranger to ask you may not know the name that I just was church yesterday The Rock in the life of the Buddha through do the story of his wife and so with no further do I I'm excited for this type of Vanessa Welcome to our show thank you for having me so happy to be here and be able to share this with you until we talked briefly and yesterday and we've had this introduction and I've been reading a little bit of your materials<br> we forget about the person behind the person if they get it all those people that have to stand up behind somebody else for the Ravenel or it really does take a village to do everything all of the spotlight may only shine on one person there's a whole village there so today I'm excited about what you're going to talk to us about and set us up just a little bit about a little history for those who do not know the Buddha and then tell us the story as much as you can in about your beautiful book<br> how old is Kaiser so I'm a scholar of the but it's tradition and I have been studying this material for a long time story of the cats are familiar with the general outlines is that he was a prince and one day he saw suffering and he was overwhelmed and he left home to go on the spiritual quest to find the answer to suffering was really kind of his gold grandiose moves if he wanted to figure out if there was a way to solve the problem of suffering and even more so he wanted a suffering that is illness and death and the suffering that comes from every aspect of The Human Experience I was I was just listening to your previous caller was talking about the ring and trying to care for ourselves and be care for others who suffer this way so it's very much aligned with what your previous caller was talking about<br> is that he goes into the forest and he contemplates and he eventually comes to this very profound realization of how to rid ourselves of in or suffering and the whole story but what I became really interested in was that until he made that Journey what was his life like until he made that departure it's known as this great departure of the worldly life to become a spiritual kind of hero or whatever term you want to use and the story is if you read the ancient texts was so amazing is they give you a really beautiful luscious colorful picture of his world and India 2,500 years ago that was with big houses and His Pain still with different-colored loaded with gold and Pearls hanging from a beautiful world and he is like what you were just saying so surrounded<br> beautiful material things of this world but also with a family and with people who loved him and amongst those people each one of the characters in his life if he starts pay attention to them they become really interesting characters to think about the one that I wanted to think about or probably married to and what was so moving with to realize I started digging into the the sources is it she's not just kind of a character that's bear in the background you know he was married to cut a check off a list okay you had a wife when you start looking at the research a little bit more and they're just kind of writing that go to do the call to Jessica where they not only tell stories of this life but they also tell stories of past life so Indian storytelling is really cyclical and dressers in the all directions it's not just your born in you die but<br> what happened before you were born and having all of these Adventures until he becomes ready for his last life and is ready to be the prince and so when we tell the story of him being the prince at the end of a very long story it's not the beginning and so when you look at those stories you find that so many of those past lives the literature described him as being married<br> to the same woman<br> and this made me just is that I realize there's something deeply romantic here and quite beautiful that the Buddha in your shoulder or married lifetime after lifetime so she's not just a character that there to check off the list she is their lifetime after lifetime a kind of multi life partner would we don't have any equivalent for in Western storytelling right we don't tell stories that way in the west but this is to me like you know a bunch of romance but I'm really very beautiful and I imagined them just for one let Anthony know sometimes they're born as elephants and sometimes their lions and they have all these different adventures in all of their past lives but they're together<br> and so they carry each other through lifetime after lifetime after Lifetime and then after all of these texts and all of the stories you finally get to the last life and what the literature tells us is that again<br> they take their reverse together so that they go into their final reverse at the same time until they're born on the same day at the same moment till you have a great Cosmic traveling huge lots of time and they're just going through it together and it's not just her he goes through it with all kind of like this individualism in that there's all these other people around us he has all these other people around him for Lifetime he doesn't go the journey alone we tell the story we focus on the one great hero who gets the stage gets the throne but he only managed to get on that train because all these other people were surrounding him and having interconnected web of relationships with him and with each other that culminated in him being able to do that<br> individualism is like a terrible mess right as certainly from the but his perspective so she's going with him and then they take the rebirth and are reborn in this great Kingdom that's luscious and beautiful with calluses and Grace Gardens filled with lotus flowers and she's right there and that's the story that I wanted to talk about I love the set up beautifully set up so I'm a beautiful I'm I'm drawing a like I need a bucket of popcorn or hot cocoa or something totally amazing that you would have a partner that would choose you in my romantic my time believing that they choose each other lifetime after lifetime isn't that beautiful and so here we are and so what happens we have<br> so now they're they're born in the palace or like in the same Kingdom he's born in this house she's not obviously linked to all kinds of other people and their stories are also in their path lies and they're so they're all kind of moving through time together no one moves through time alone until they finally arrived and he is reborn in his Palace and the story is that the king is very concerned about his child because he needs to know like that his son is going to be at cuz you need to take up the family business and there's like some rumors that this is a special kid and so he called in the astrologers which people still new today in India and have them read back The Logical charts to find out what this teacher<br> and when the stroller just look at the chart I have a problem and they see two possibilities I don't see a clear Direction and the two possibilities are either if he will become a great king just like his father wants and in a rule with Justice and everyone will know peace and everything will be abundant in wonderful or you will become a great teacher the kind that no one has seen in 10,000 years<br> now the king hears this news and he is very concerned because he cannot have the prince become was just wonder if this is just not how it's supposed to go so he makes the decision she knows the one thing that makes us contemplatively is if we engage with suffering if we don't experience stuff for him we can just enjoy the material world right cuz it seems like enough to have enough with the material world Material World disappoints us that we start to wonder okay maybe there's something else maybe I need to be paying attention to something more for the king makes a radical decision that his son will seem no suffering no difficulty will have everything that he wants whenever he wants and he shuts down the palace and put them in a bubble and doesn't let him see something<br> eventually so that you could print the future but I was raised this way in his Palace and eventually became Saint okay now it's time to get him married and the prince doesn't seem to be very interesting getting married because he's that future but as inside of him and so they decide to do something this is an amazing thing that I found in the literature I can't believe it the first time I read it cuz if they do a Cinderella move and they call all the maidens of the land, and prevent themselves damn and to all the lovely ladies of the land, and prevent themselves in front of the great Prince and he gives them a gift to each one but he's not interested<br> and I'm coming in late the last and loan that I love that she was the last thing that she was late comes charging into the palace and and he sees her obviously it's going to be her and he is no more jewels to give her a gift and he hands it to her and this is his way of saying I choose you and so we really have in the story the front of love and connection and relationship that's important to the story<br> and their chosen has a lot more details about to get married and she moved into the palace that is a little bubble and you think it's a happily-ever-after experience but of course is not going today<br> I keep going what you want to do we have a caller on the line who is probably just okay<br> hello you on the ear with everyday peace I'm about to drive on James you have a comment or question for a wonderful rest of the day when they got married and then they had a child that was doing a little research here and so but I'm sure you can fill it out for me so when the prince left for to discover his likeness to process work to dislike you just left his wife and child because it was time to be enlightened that's how that works<br> that's an amazing question that's what really got me wanting to write the book is that hears it's amazing story of this amazing zalozyc character who goes and if she's awake and such as do it he is going to walk away from everything and what he walks away from his his wife the story gets pretty bad because he has this wonderful beautiful wedding ceremony and it's just so happily ever after but he still has had that question side of him it can't be extinguished even with a great love traveling about the but his life story that it's a paradoxical it's a complicated story right and so it's not that he was a monk all his life he wasn't she loves her and it was a wonderful world with the best of all possible things and then the problem is that one day so here's the next part of the story is he manages to<br> exactly going to where you want us to go is he manages to escape the palace and goes out with his charger driver and he sees for things and leave leave me alone for the first thing he sees is an old man II he sees is sickness lie to someone very very ill the third is a course until he's like being if empties things are described as the god kind of putting them in his ass like it's time for him to become the boat on so there is a magical story right and so they're carrying through an experience so you can be ready in case he's old age sickness and death and then he season one last thing<br> how many sees the monk is so overwhelmed by the monks face and the calm in the beauty of his face that he thinks himself well if I'm destined to old age sickness and death I also will be destined to become a monk right like if that could be true and he comes back to the Palace early shaking right and so m in like we've all had moments like this where we have a kind of bubble and then something pure sift through it and you can never go back to what you understood before right like it's something has happened<br> the thing that according to the store where the literature So Sophisticated cuz the storytellers a bunch of them don't give you a kind of straightforward world now that they give you something complicated and messy and see what they tell you is that while he was out seeing old age sickness and death<br> she was in the throes of Labor and so she is giving birth in the palace facing sickness and death and also aging and all of it and of the fears of the impermanence of the body which was very dangerous in those days to give birth while he's contemplating and he's seen it and he comes back to the Palace<br> and he has made his decision he can't stay any longer<br> and she has a newborn<br> wait until you have these very different lives in that very parallel lives and he comes back and he knows he cannot do this anymore he has to be married he cannot be a father he cannot be a king she has something else she needs to find the way out of suffering and it's an overwhelming need to do this and it's a knee that has been that he's been caring for lifetimes according to the story and yes it's going to cause him to devastate everyone and so he comes back to the palace and he in one version of the story he sees he goes to the her room asleep in the bed with her newborn son in her arms<br> and the text says that he stands on the threshold he doesn't even step in he won't step into the room and he thinks himself if I touch my son but she wants to do<br> I will wake her up and then I won't be able to leave<br> wonder who doesn't wake her up and he turns around and walks away<br> but it's such a devastating upsetting story and also deeply human of just this moment where you know if I go down this road<br> I am making a mess of a hundred things but I have to go down this road<br> and if I go down the other Road the match is equally disastrous if he doesn't become a it's a disaster cuz it is who he is to become the Buddha is written in the stars but if he becomes he disappoints his wife disappoints his son he disappoints his father the kingdom the throne the subject everyone is going to be upset<br> and what did you have the literature leave it like that they don't fix it for you and give you a really difficult situation and you ask because that's how life goes we don't get cleaned up stories of Our Lives we get back so it's not so much if you get enlightened this is how it was for him and it's devastating<br> wow that's kind of answer your question yeah yeah yeah oh wow yeah and we have time for one more question we tweet that little time left before he got married<br> oh that's a good question also it depends on the sources you read right foot event this is 2500 year old literature and there's so much of it some of the texts he knows and in other the text it doesn't look like he doesn't do defend against giving you that complexity all the time and so the questions you're asking or the kind of questions all the time as they wrestle with the stories right and they try to figure out how to live with the story and beige with it being fired like model it but then you'll fight one of your family right so it's just it's just having to live with a difficult story<br> wow this is such a great yes oh my gosh I'm so glad and thank you for being an everyday peacemaking your energy makes all the difference thank you Debbie with the caller that this story is so fascinating it's it is either you come to that fork in the road right and then you can't judge the decision made but as you and I were talking a little bit yesterday when you were we were talking I said I think about Martin Luther King and D making a decision to serve the world and I think of Coretta Scott King in the children and he's always away and in his work led to his assassination and and took his life so quick<br> you know and<br> but the benefit but also the sacrifice packet<br> and the sacrifices you have to know what you have to see it with honor the sacrifice just didn't know that it did hurt are you can't just wash over it it's it's a it's an injustice all the other characters in the story and it's an injustice to the troops during them being alive<br> play we can't lie like that and pretend everything's fine for his for Martin Luther King's family I am sure it was extremely difficult<br> I can't pretend it wasn't but that's also how the story I have to go<br> right is it was it's so appropriate that we honor those who willingly or or or or by force or in the shadows in in in in a bucket of Tears if you will free all for the greater good<br> you know and honor the difficulty of the choice for the Kiro<br> yes I think it's just kind of the bottom line is life is hard and everything we do that's important we have to really think about because we will still have to pay for it even if it's great right and it helps me and I hope it helps our listeners because you are one and awesome Storyteller I know I'm not going to say that but it helps me also to see the humanness and everyone right with truly there is they're just they're just humans we are just humans that are best doing the best that we can write it helps me to live beyond listen to the store beyond beyond Blaine<br> because either way either choice left something undone<br> yes<br> because it can't do it all cuz when people say has done listen to tell the story hope what is done for me is help me to see is you're talkin this the uselessness of criticism because in my on in this is a beautiful story where the Pina we all know the boot and we all know the four wonderful work and put on a small scale in my own life and and and everyone is like we're making these decisions always to choose this into denying that to choose this and to deny that we do this all day long I think the only difference is that and we type course I don't know maybe you do know<br> he definitely suffered there at the doorway making the decision to go and kisses to have this affectionate moment with this child and risk having an order with his wife and he had to make that decision and he was a weird that decision I think that is maybe the part that we miss sometimes were making their decisions is to stay in the now<br> and you go ahead and and feel those emotions maybe that's the part that made you I don't know maybe that's a part of made him or convicted to it to his work is that he stayed in that moment and he and he felt with the felt that pain and didn't try to brush it outside<br> I kind of feel is even a story he galloped off into the sunset and he takes off on this fabulous horse and they're charging out of the gate is Hollis and then he stopped in for one moment that wants to look back at his home in. Can you get that back off his horse and you turned around and he booked and then he walked away and it's like I'm really doing this and thinks that there's that complication he needs to look at it yes he needs to look at it that's me almost as if to me it is to commit<br> yes<br> oh my goodness like I feel like I've been taking on this romantic Journey somewhere in the end of course let me just say if I were the wife in that story yet I'd I know I'd be sitting in a pool of tears and wishing that the choice had been me I don't know that I could have been so<br> so giving you know we have this new baby and and there's more to the story of how to get this book you don't want to miss this tell this is beautiful how do I make plans<br> so the book is published by Bloomsbury and you can easily get it off the Bloomsbury website or you can get it on Amazon or I mean it's available everywhere it's called you and you can find out more about the IHOP website Vanessa are that's not what I put in the Arts of the weather too many s is in my name so I can eat and you can email me very there's an email tab and I'm very happy to talk to anybody who would like to talk thank you for being a fabulous day before I listen to thank you for being everyday peace new peace makers will meet again next week<br> you've been listening to every day keeps the doctor Trevon James you have the power right now today to make the decisions to take the actions that lead you to your next level of greatness and I would love to walk with you on your journey here some ways we can connect schedule a coaching session contact me again so let dr. Dre Bond James. Calm enrolling my online university course to 2020 Clarity court at The Institute for leadership and lifelong learning International enroll in the brilliant life nine weeks online coaching session with me and Keisha Dixon info at the back to Trayvon james.com purchase my book Freedom is your first break from Amazon thank you for being and every day Peacemaker I absolutely love you<br> thank you for listening to Unity online radio<br> the voice of an Awakening roll<br> for 28 years Unity has celebrated with prayer this year the celebration happens September 8th and 9th and you are cordially invited to join the events online this is the day we unite hearts and Minds around the globe in prayer and contemplation enjoy some inspiring speakers music submit your own prayers to be included in the visual register for this free online experience today at World Day of Prayer. Org<br>