[00:00] Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you are the care compass pointing hearts back home, turning quiet lonely rooms into places they belong. To the elderly, the wise, you give your steady light. Careful care, caring compassion in the soft hours of the night. Ah, ah, ooh. Hi, it's Nicole Brandon. Welcome back to the Care Compass: The Aging Parents Survival Guide. For those of you that are just joining us, I would love to welcome you and to open my heart. I have had this incredible journey, um, over the past four or five years with, um, both my parents having incredible, um, difficult challenges with their health. My dad with cancer, my mom with advanced stages of Alzheimer's. My mom, uh, was in a coma, she had a stroke, she needed a feeding tube. Um, my father fell, broke his neck, on and on. My uncle had Parkinson's. So a myriad of, um, health issues, and for each of us, it's completely different.

[01:26] Speaker 1: Um, since I started this show, I started posting and telling people that this has been the most difficult journey that I possibly could imagine, and I'm a, you know, world champion. I'm a world champion in dance, I'm a world champion in acrobatics, I'm a world champion in martial arts. I am a 14-time Hall of Fame inductee. I am a strong, strong, strong, courageous woman, and a strong, strong, strong person. But yet there have been times on this journey that I have felt so, uh, fragile, and, um, almost as if I'm made of glass or just that I'm teetering on the edge or that I'm going to break.

[02:10] Speaker 1: I was writing a letter to somebody the other day, and I was sharing that I felt like I dove into a well, that my parents were in this, uh, dark space and I, I went to go help them and to get them, and had I realized at the time of the well, like, that maybe the acoustics were amazing and I sang or did something joyful in- instead of looking for a way out or instead of looking for doors, it would have been a different journey. But my journey, I had no support. Zero support. And I had to figure everything, uh, for myself. Um, both my parents ended up losing their Medicare and Social Security. I had to get both their Medicares and Social Securities reinstated. Dealing with home health, dealing with, um, home agencies, dealing with hospice, dealing with end-of-life care, dealing with funeral arrangements. I mean, there- there's been so much from the onset. Uh, transportation to doctor's appointments, food. Each and every one of these things.

[03:12] Speaker 1: When my dad broke his neck, he couldn't be at the dentist, he couldn't be at the barber shop, he couldn't get his hair- head washed. And as I started , you know, thousands and thousands and thousands of people have come out of the woodwork wanting to share their own stories or wanting to share their expertise. So that is the goal of this podcast, is that we are bringing in, and, um, going to be presenting the experts in each and every field, everything that you could possibly imagine. In aging care and aging health. We will bring someone on, we will do a personal show. You can jump on, you can ask questions for Medicare, you can jump on and talk to the electric company and find out how to keep them safe electrically. You can jump on and talk to the mobility companies. You can jump on and talk to people, what's the difference between a home health agency or a PT, you know, outside of the home? How do you keep the home safe?

[04:04] Speaker 1: Driving, how to have conversations, how to deal with someone that's angry or that's lost or doesn't remember, the frustration. Or, you know, each and every step and stage. Gaining weight, losing weight, nutrition, health, dentures, cataracts. Whatever it is that you are experiencing, please, I implore you, write to me, nicole@nicolebrandonworldwide.com, nicole@nicolebrandonworldwide.com. Or just write into the station and they will make sure that I get your letters or that I get your questions, and we will bring in an expert just for you. As I've been, um, sharing some of my story, I have people that are writing in, "I've gone through this same journey. I would very much like to come in and to talk to, um, your audience, talk to your family, talk to your friends, talk to your listeners about my experience. Maybe there's something I went through that could help as well." And so, um, if you would like to be on the show, please re- reach out to me as well.

[05:13] Speaker 1: One of the conversations I had the other day was very interesting. It was someone I have known almost my entire life, somebody I met in nursery school, so I've known since I was around four years old. And I, um, we were friends growing up, we're still friends now. And I knew his parents very, very, very well. And we used to have, I grew up in Margate, New Jersey, which is right by Atlantic City, and we used to have, I don't know if you had in your city, but we had Helping Hands. And they were houses that literally had a hand in the window, and you would see this little hand in the window.

[05:52] Speaker 1: And if you were walking home from school and your bike broke, or you fell and you scraped your knee, or somebody was bullying you, or you got scared somehow, or you, something happened in school, you had a bad test, or your parents were fighting or whatever it was that you had, you can go to a house that had a Helping Hand house and you could go in and they would make you snacks and they would take care of you and they would talk to you and they'd bandage your knees and...And it was, um, wonderful to live in an area that was so safe, and, and you had so many neighbors that were taking care of the children. And his, uh, house was a Helping Hands house, so not only was I friends with him and, and were we friends with the family, my parents were friends with their- with his parents, and I, and I was friends. We were all, the kids were friends. But it was a Helping Hands house, and I would go there for, um, comfort and care. I would go there for wisdom and knowledge.

[06:46] Speaker 1: I would go there to be nurtured and loved. I would be th- so it was another set of parents, another set of eyes. And as he started going through his own personal journey with his parents, he was talking about how his dad's hands would, uh, start to shake, and how he wasn't able to hold a cup and wasn't able to eat and wasn't able to be steady, and that there was a surgery that they do, you know, like an implant in the brain, and that you are actually, um, awake for. And I was very familiar with this surgery because, um, my uncle recently passed from Parkinson's, but we went through many years of the Parkinson's journey with him. And when I found out that he had Parkinson's, I started looking into this surgery. And I would watch video after video after video after video, and, um, some of the videos were just absolutely amazing.

[07:49] Speaker 1: It would be somebody whose hand was shaking so bad, or whose body was shaking uncontrollably, and they would put this electric stimulation in the brain, and the minute that they turned it on, all of a sudden, they would be able to play the violin, or something so intricate as to paint with a brush, or somebody that was a triathlete was able to run triathlons again, or somebody that was able to teach, you know, a tenured professor or, you know, would be able to get back up and to recite impeccably and be able to write and scribe on the board, and to teach. And I thought this surgery was a miracle, and I sent all this information, uh, to my aunt and to my uncle at the time, and when, um, he was looking into it, there were only a few places in the United States that did it. It wasn't as vastly ready, uh, available as it is today. And, um, at that time, because of his age and the extended condition, he wasn't a candidate. And I remember being so, so, so sad to, um, to hear that.

[08:54] Speaker 1: But I remember thinking about the remarkable research that was being done. And, as I, as I hear puppies of where I am, I am not in the studio today. I am in a show called Route 66 to the Grand Canyon. I'm going to actually shut this door. You can stay with me if you like. There you go. I'm sorry. I'm in a show called Route 66 to the Grand Canyon, and, uh, the show is in Flagstaff, Arizona. We actually had a matinee today, so I am not in, um, a, a regular studio today. But I was talking about this amazing, incredible, remarkable technology that was available, and then my friend's father, uh, had the surgery, and the shaking stopped immediately. And his father is no longer here, but he was saying that to have his dad back for the extended period of time that he had his dad, and the miracle of the shaking to have stopped, is...

[10:04] Speaker 1: When we look at what is being done today, when, when we look at wheelchairs where people can stand up, when we look at robotics that can give people legs, when we look at some of the remarkable technology that is out there, sometimes we feel like there are no solutions, that we're absolutely alone and we're given a condition. And we were talking with Kendra Munson, who was, when she was talking about her cancer journey, and she was saying that her doctor said to her, "People survive this all the time. You're going to be okay." And sometimes just knowing that you are going to be okay is the thing that you need to know. And so, if you right now, you yourself or you have a loved one that is going through a condition that there might be research for, or there might be clinical trials for, there might be a solution that is around the door that you don't even realize is available right now, whether that's from stem cell research, whether that's from embryonic fluid.

[11:04] Speaker 1: So I had, um, recently, um, uh, I was helping my parents move, and I was going through the drawers, and I found my baby teeth. I found my baby teeth. All of my baby teeth. And my very first thought when I found all my baby teeth, first I was so touched that my parents had all my baby teeth, and they had a little charm. I must have had a charm bracelet when I was super tiny. But, um, uh, the first thing I thought about was I was incredibly loved. Look, my parents saved all my baby teeth. I was incredibly loved. And I decided to do a posting, and I went online, and I wrote, "Why do parents save baby teeth?" It was just a question, and I wanted an answer so I could do, you know, a blog. And what I found blew my mind. It absolutely astounded me. What I found out was that baby teeth can save your life, the same as, you know, harvesting stells- stem cells.

[12:06] Speaker 1: That baby teeth, there's a property in baby teeth that is your DNA, your structure, the makeup of you that actually, when you are in your 70s, 80s, 90s, 100s, whatever, when you are facing, you know, dis-ease, or you are facing illnesses, or you're fav- facing conditions at later stages of your life, your baby teeth can-... really save your life, like a bone marrow transplant, or like a liver transplant, or a kidney cr- there's something in baby teeth. I had no idea, so I definitely want to bring somebody in that's a specialist on this an- and to do a special show on this, to talk about this. I wanna bring somebody in that does the electrostimulation to understand how that stops the shaking, the par- you know, from Parkinson's and from other conditions that are causing that shaking.

[12:56] Speaker 1: When, um, the, I- I- I was honored and privileged this year to be asked to be the host and a speaker for the Alzheimer Foundation to Stop, to End Alzheimer's, and a sea of hundreds of thousands of people show up. And to imagine how many people come out for these walk-a-thons. It i- it is so enriching and so uplifting to see so many people and so much research. And then people pick flowers, and they pick different color flowers, and depending on the flower that you are holding, and the flowers li- were like windmill fans, and the flowers were for people that were, uh, living with someone that has Alzheimer's. There were flowers for families and, uh, siblings, um, partners, spouses, friends that lost someone to Alzheimer's. There were flowers there if you yourself had Alzheimer's or dementia, and then there were flowers for never again, for the to end Alzheimer's forever.

[14:11] Speaker 1: And the research that they're doing now, it is so deep and so incredible and so exciting, and it challenges the mind to think we can end Alzheimer's. We can end some of these, what we have understood to be diseases. I remember watching a comedy skit with George Carlin, and I love George Carlin. He's just, he- he's fabulous, he's fantastic. And he was talking about polio, and he said, "None of my friends had polio because we all swam in the river, and New York and the river was so polluted, our immune systems were so strong, none of us got sick." And as he talks about it, there's a humor in what he's talking about, but when you think about th- those immune systems and to, um, how those immune systems are built up, and what it is that we have done by having processed food, what it is that we have done by having GMOs, what it is that we have done, you know, by having wheat or having gluten or h- or having different products and having the processed sugars that we have, or having

[15:24] Speaker 1: chemicals and dyes, and we're putting things into our system that are not natural that are causing and making havoc with our body and with our conditions. And so certainly, there are nutritionists out there, there are books, and we will bring in the authors of, excuse me, we'll bring in the authors to talk to you about, you know, the grain brain and- and all of these things that- that can indeed brain camp, exercises that you can do, crossword puzzles that you could do, mind games that you could do, expansion. Dr. Paul Scheele, who wrote the book about the genius mind that our brains should be able to see all these football fields and the expansiveness, or photo reading, and how you memorize, how the brain works.

[16:15] Speaker 1: And if you know how the brain works, and you know how to exercise the brain, and you know how to keep the brain sharp, you can be working with yourself and you could be working with your parents, and anyone you know that is aging, or anybody that you know that's fighting with memory loss, or that... My dad used to tell me this great joke one, about this, you know, couple and the one man, he has Alzheimer's and they're playing cards, and his friend says to him, "Hey," you know, "how is the class going?" And he said, "Class?" He said, "Yes, you're taking that memory class." And he said, "Oh, it- it's going really well. I'm really enjoying it. I'm learning it l- a lot." And his friend said, "Oh, that's great. That's great news. What's the name of the class?" And he said, "The name of the class?" And he said, "Yeah, that you're taking, what's the name of the memory class?" And he said, "The name of the class? The name of the class?

[17:11] Speaker 1: The class." And he said, "Yeah." And he said, "What's the thing, it's long and it's red and it's got the prickly things and y- you give it on holidays?" And his friend said, "A rose." And he goes, "That's it." He said, "Rose, what's the name of the class?" (laughs) And I remember that my dad used to tell that joke, and that was before both my parents got Alzheimer's. And at that time, the joke to them was funny, and now you look at and you say, "Oh, it's not that funny," that we would need to rely on somebody else for information and maybe... At one time when we would laugh at a joke, now we sit there and, like, we sort of squelch and go, "Oh man, that's my life, or that's my parent's life and I'm going through that." And so, how do you, um, how do you do that? You know, when do you go to a neurologist?

[17:57] Speaker 1: When do you trust there's medication that they might wanna put your parents on, or put you on i- if you're having memory loss and they might say, "This is the very best thing to slow down the progression"? And then you can look at research that will tell you this is the very worst thing and will speed up the progression, and could actually cause all of these side effects and could even cause death, and is this something you wanna do? And it's confusing when you have all this conflicting information, and so where do you go? And so that's why we wanna answer your questions. If you have a question, if they're telling you to be on X, Y, Z medicine...And you go on your own and you do your Wikipedia or your Google Research, or whatever it is that you're doing, and you're looking and i- there are all these cases where that medicine has actually caused death, has caused stroke, has caused all these side effects, that medication has actually sped it up, that medication doesn't help at all.

[18:50] Speaker 1: Or, if they're taking these other medications, taking this medication that's combustible and could cause all sorts of damage and irreparable problems, and maybe that one doctor is not, um, aware of all, uh, that's happening. And so, um, we are very, very, very blessed in, in my p- family and in our lives. The- I have one doctor who is, um, a primary care doctor, but he orchestrates all of the other doctors and he has been tasked with that. There are also, um, you know, gerologists and y- that, that deal with geriatric care, and if you can find somebody that you trust, so that one doctor is dealing with the gastroenterologist, that one doctor is dealing with the urologist, that one doctor is dealing with the eye doctor, one doctor is dealing with the gynecologist, and one doctor is dealing with the dentist, that one doctor is dealing with the pulmonary doctor, the one doctor is dealing with the foot doctor, the one doctor is dealing with the skin care, you know, somebody.

[20:01] Speaker 1: And whatever that is, that one doctor is talking to all the other doctors, knowing what medication, knowing what protocol, knowing what exercise, knowing what's being said. And so, then that one person that is under care is not getting overmedicated or under-medicated, or they're not having five appointments in one day that's going to exhaust them, or they're not using different products, or different vitamins, or maybe they have a vitamin deficiency. Or maybe one doctor is saying, "You wanna limit the water intake," which they did for my dad. He said, "Liquids need to be limited." Another doctor says, "Oh, he needs to drink water. He needs more water. He needs to be hydrated in order to be healthy." And so, who do you listen to? How do you listen? Where do you go? Where are the experts? And it's mind-boggling, and it's like a jingle puzzle, you know, when you're sitting there.

[20:58] Speaker 1: My parents both had, um, echocardiograms that were scheduled yesterday, and my mom had an echocardiogram that was scheduled earlier in the day, and my dad had an echocardiogram that was scheduled later in the day. And I called the facility and said, "Hi. You know, this is their daughter. And you do realize they are a couple." They are my parents, they are together, and if there's any way that they could do the echocardiogram together, so the facility that's driving them doesn't have to take my mom and then go back to the assisted living facility. And then, later if- in the afternoon, they don't have to take my dad to an echocardiogram and go back. And they said, "Well, we had someone before your mom and after your mom, and so that's the time we had available." I said, "Yes, but is there a time that they could, of course, be together that would work?" And sometimes, it- it's as simple as just asking.

[21:50] Speaker 1: Just asking and saying, "Gosh, it's maddening that we would need to pay for transportation to go twice to the very same facility for both of them to get their echocardiogram when both of them, y- you know, need this and both of these are being scheduled for different reasons, but they both were needing to be done." And so, when you look at transportation, is that you that's driving your parents to the appointments, or are they still driving themselves? Should they be driving themselves to the appointments? You know, all, all of these questions. And then, the difference between if you're in assisted living and transportation is taken care of, if there's services like GoGo Grandma that will pick you up and take you to doctors' appointment. Are there special Ubers for wheelchairs, or special Ubers that will wait for seniors because it takes people longer to get out to the Uber?

[22:52] Speaker 1: And often, somebody would order an Uber, and then they grab their cane, or they grab their walker, and by the time they get to the sidewalk, that Uber driver has left and they're gone. They haven't waited for them. They don't know that they need to wait or that they need to come up to the door to help the person to get into the car. And so, how do you schedule that? How do you ask for that? When we look at the, the technologies last week, I started to talk about my dad fell and he broke his hip. We were talking about that just as my guest jumped on, and I was, oh my gosh, so glad that she was with me and able to be with me. But what, um, I- I started to say was that my dad has been in pool therapy. And I can tell you, from the bottom of my heart, I recommend more than almost anything that I could possibly recommend to you, if your parents are doing any PT or any therapy, ask. Ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask. Call the doctor, call the ortho surgeon. Call the, you know, facilities.

[24:05] Speaker 1: Call whatever the doctor is, the practitioning doctor for you, or the in- the hospital doctor, whatever that the doctor is. And if you have back issues, knee issues, elbow issues, neck issue, it doesn't matter. If PT is prescribed, ask if they can do warm water therapy. Warm water therapy. That is correct. There are certain pools that have physical therapists in warm water, or sometimes a facility has a larger pool and then they have sections that they will heat up... and have physical therapists. You can have wheelchairs that are dropped in. You can work if people are in walkers, if people have canes, if people, um, are non-ambulatory and need to be lifted in to be put in there, into cradle in chairs. They have all of that. But the difference, when my father originally was given physical therapy, when he had broken his neck and he had hurt his hip, that he would go to do physical therapy, and he would cry. The pressure on his body was so intense.

[25:17] Speaker 1: And I, you know, begged, uh, for physical therapy in the pool. And they, uh, gave him physical therapy in the pool on the very first day. He was so excited. He was like an eight-year-old. He loved being in the pool, putting on his bathing suit and his little water shoes. And he was in the pool and he was splashing. He was so happy. And he got better at rapid speed. It was so quick. It was so fantastic. It was so phenomenal. It was the difference between weeks of him, just tears strolling down his eyes when he would try to get out of the wheelchair and he would try to stand up, to him dancing in the pool, and all of a sudden he's up jitterbugging in just a matter of weeks, was nothing short of a miracle. And so, if you can be in warm water therapy, you, you can do both. I, I've blessed right now that, you know, my father is able to do physical therapy at the assisted living where he is at right now. They're doing physical therapy and occupational therapy with him.

[26:19] Speaker 1: And, uh, you know, how to use the toilet again, how to stand, how to get out of bed since he broke his hip. They're doing all of those, you know, how to dress, all of that, again, to, um, you know, get him back now that the hip is broken and getting off the couch and getting into dining chairs and all of those things. And he's also doing a, a physical therapy for balance because, you know, they're fantastic and they're there. But nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing changes the speed of the physical therapy in the warm water. Now, if you are a woman and you had a Cesarean, it's the same thing. So, you don't have to wait for aging parents. You don't have to wait for an injury. If you are someone who blew your knee out skiing or, you know, you're a basketball player or a hockey player or, you know, you slid into first base and, you know, had a hip replacement, had a knee replacement, cartilage to cartilage, or you had a herniated disc, you know, you're a surfer, and I...

[27:17] Speaker 1: Many friends who have surfed and, and I get that a lot from surfers and from gymnasts. And there is nothing that can beat the warm water therapy. Now, I was very blessed because there is... I found, um, an academy in San Diego, and I'm sure you, I can bring them on, but I would love to research even more, called Wave Academy. And Wave Academy is warm water therapy for vets. And what they have found is that vets that have had, uh, anger and volatility and rages and just blow up at anything, or they have PTSD and they hear a balloon pop and all of a sudden they're back in the war, or there's a sound, or they go in a restaurant and they have to face out, their back cannot be to a door in a restaurant because of the conditioning of being in the war. And you can never have your back.

[28:16] Speaker 1: Whatever that is and the, the PTSD and the, the night sweats and the, um, you know, the fear or the, the rage or the short-temperedness or the inability to relax or the inability to let somebody into your heart or to trust or to love or whatever, whatever ho- whatever that looks like for you. Um, the Wave Academy, the warm water therapy is, you know, we, we talk about miracles all the time. And I survived, uh, an accident, and maybe someday I'll talk about my accident. But the, the warm water, um, that they use and the massage and the, the way that the body is guided and gently opened in the warm water alleviates the PTSD. It resets the central nervous system back to a neutral place. And Sandra Biskind was on. You're talking about neutrality. Listen to that show if you wanna learn about neutrality. It's such a great lesson.

[29:27] Speaker 1: But it literally resets the body back to its central point, back to its state of peace, back to its state of harmony, back to its, uh, inner wisdom and inner light and inner guidance, and the ability to trust, the ability to be, the abil- ability, uh, to believe, to love, to give, to share. You know, it's... And to, um, be with your family again, to be with your kids again, to be in the community in a safe and beautiful way, and just being in that warm water makes a world of difference. And we had also talked about Watsu, and Watsu is the warm water therapy, well, that's, uh, warm water massaging. And there are many places you can find them in many cities and many states. So, for yourself, for, uh, your parents, you know, these, these are all wonderful, wonderful, wonderful things to do.

[30:29] Speaker 1: Um, safety and exercise is always important, and that's why when you're talking with physical therapists and working with physical therapists, physical therapists may give you exercises or give your parents exercises to do at home. And that's great and wonderful. You always want to make sure though that you have a caregiver-Or that you yourself or that there is a spouse with somebody when they're doing the exercises. Because very often what we hear and what we see are not quite the same thing. Even though we think, "Oh, I got it. They, they did the exercise. It's easy and we have to do five these or five of this," or whatever it is. And, you know, I'm out the door. But it doesn't work that way because if the weight that you're using is putting any undue strain on your body or the position is not correct, then you're not healing. And you're not healing, you know, uh, uh, at, like this lickety-split rate and you can do more harm than good.

[31:36] Speaker 1: And so you always want to do the exercises, you always want to be diligent, you always want to take a step towards wellness and a step towards health, but you also want to make sure that you're doing them safely. You want to make sure that you're in an environment that you're not gonna get, you know, fall into a glass table. You want to make sure that you're, that there aren't sharp edges somewhere that you might get hurt. You want to make sure if you're putting your weight on something, it can support your weight. You want to make sure if you're sitting somewhere, you're sitting supported where your feet can be flat. You want to make sure if you're using your hands that you're using the thumb, not the wrist, you're using the stronger muscle to prevent, you know, the carpal tunnel.

[32:22] Speaker 1: And I have my arthritis free living programs, you can go to arthritisfreeliving.com if you are interested in exercises for arthritis-free living or to alleviate any kind of pain, you can find them there or write to me. But the, the safety of exercises, but I love the idea of being in the warm water. And then I, I, I started to talk about the journey. So my dad was in the dressing room and he was by himself, and I don't know why he was by himself, I don't know why the caregiver did not go in the dressing room with him. He said he wanted to give my dad privacy, which is crazy because you pay a caregiver to make sure, and to ensure somebody is safe. But regardless, my dad, uh, was on the inside, and the caregiver was on the outside, and they heard the thud and they opened the door and my dad was down. He didn't know what happened, but of course, his hip was broken and they were worried that the neck was broken as well.

[33:21] Speaker 1: And we had a couple of very emotional days and very scary days in the hospital. And luckily, uh, they were able to put him into surgery and the femur and the ball and, you know, putting in the rod and putting in screws that'll hold forever. And again, as we talk about the electrotherapy that I started talking about, or the research in Alzheimer's or stem cell or so many things right now that are, you know, cures for cancer, so many trials and clinics and, and things that are being done that really are the future of medicine, the future of health. Then you look in the fact that they can do this surgery and the next day he can be standing again, which is pretty remarkable. It's really incredibly remarkable that the next day he was able to stand up and that now he could be in physical therapy and now he can be walking. But when we were in the hospital, then they're giving you these choices.

[34:29] Speaker 1: And again, that's why we created this show, because you're gonna come up against a road and it's not even just left and right. It's like, okay, I'm having a great day, everything's fine, I'm busy working, life is wonderful, whatever I'm doing I'm doing. And the next thing you know, you get that phone call, "Your dad fell and broke his hip." How many of you have received that phone call that your mom or your dad fell and broke their hip? Well, of course the hip breaks and they fall, but that is a show in itself. But for intents and purposes, the hip broke, which caused the fall. But next thing you know, we're in the hospital, and then they have to rush in to surgery, they need to do surgery.

[35:15] Speaker 1: And then you're in the hospital for a week or so, and then they're saying, "Well, okay, now you need rehab, you need to learn to walk again, you need to learn to stand again, you need to learn to do all these things that you do naturally, sit in a chair." So you can be sent to a rehab center for weeks on end. You can go home and get a prescription to go to physical therapy, but some of those physical therapy places may be only once or twice a week you'll be able to see them. They have home health, and home health can send a physical therapist to your house, or there are private facilities that have physical therapists and those private facilities that have physical therapists that come and they work with you. And so who do you choose? What does the insurance cover? How do you know what is right for you?

[36:20] Speaker 1: So for myself, um, when they said that my dad needed rehab, I broke down and I cried a million, bazillion, a katrillion tears, because I thought that they were sending my dad to a rehab center, which for your parents might be great, for someone else, for you yourself it might be great. But for our lives, my mom had been away from my dad for almost two years because she had a feeding tube and they would not let her back into the facility that they were living in together. So she had to move into another facility, and every day my dad... had to be taken by car to the facility which my mom was staying, and he spent every day with her, every, every day with her. And when he would leave at night, she would cry her eyes out. And she would just cry like crazy, and, and he was heartbroken, and, and we couldn't keep them together at that time. We were able to have them see each other every day, but they had to live in separate facilities while my mom had this feeding tube.

[37:28] Speaker 1: And my dad needed special medical care, so he needed to be in the facility he was in, so he couldn't move them back home. And they, they needed separate care at that time, and then it was just, it was excruciating. And after almost two years, I was able to get a speech therapist. We were able to teach my mom to eat again. My mom was able to start to eat only pureed food and thickened liquid, but she was able to take food orally, and when she was able to do that, we were able to remove the tube. And the greatest miracle of all was just about a month and a half ago, we were able to move my mom back with my dad, and so they could be together again. And the joy, the overwhelming joy of them being together, and it is... There aren't even words for it.

[38:18] Speaker 1: And so the idea that my dad now would be sent to a rehab facility when we just got my mom back, and we just got them back together, and they're finally together again, the heartache of him now having to go away was more than any of us could really bear. And the doctor was so lovely and so brilliant, and, um, she's just super doctor, and she said, "You know, Nicole," she said, "There is a, um, rehab facility right here in the hospital, and it's on a separate floor, and it's kind of like lickety-split, quick healing." They keep them there seven, 10 days. They exercise them four hours a day, and then they send them to home rehab. And the hospital was right across the street from where my parents live, and so by sending my dad just to another floor to do the express rehab, which is a seven- to 10-day rehab, four hours a day, we were able to, just in a wheelchair, just bring my mom just across the street to be with my dad.

[39:24] Speaker 1: And she was able to be with him all day and able to be with him through his therapy, and we didn't have to put her in a vehicle, and we didn't have to send her, you know, to a rehab facility to see him. They kind of looked like apartments where he was and went through the unit, and she could even spend the night if she wanted to, and it was, um, for them, it w- it was the very best scenario. That express rehab was incredible. The people were remarkable. And after those seven to 10 days, my dad was able to be up and to transition to, um, PT on land and OT on land, which he is doing right now, which is right in the facility in which he lives. And then in two more weeks, as the incision heals, we're taking him back to the pool, because that's really where I think it's the most effective healing for him. They just have to make the incision to close to do that.

[40:19] Speaker 1: But if that's you, if you've come across, okay, you know, you're having a great day, and all of a sudden, boom, you know, your parents fell, they broke your hip, or they broke their hip and they fell, the right way to actually say it, and ambulance, now they're in the hospital. Okay, now you get the phone call, now they're gonna do surgery, okay, this is gonna be permanent, they're gonna put in rods and pins, and, "Do you understand? This is gonna be permanent metal in their body. Do you want to do permanent metal in their body?" And you have to make whatever decisions you have to make at that point.

[40:48] Speaker 1: Then they go through the surgery, and then after the surgery, they're in pain, and okay, so how do you manage the pain now that they're in pain after th- they've had surgery, and, you know, very difficult to move, and then you have to be able to get them up, and then not only do you get them to stand, but you have to teach them to sit again, and you have to teach them to use a toilet again. You have to teach them to walk again. You have to teach them to be able to bend, dress, and do all of these things, and sit in a chair, and get up from the sofa, and do whatever. And then how do you choose that rehab? Do you send them to a rehab center? Do you have home health come and do rehab, or do you have an outpatient care where you're gonna go to a local facility couple times a week in rehab? Do you send them to the water rehab? Do you try to do it yourself or have a caregiver just do the exercises (laughs) that you find on the internet? And what are the choices?

[41:43] Speaker 1: And what does Medicare pay for? And even, like, there was, they gave my dad a walker, and I said, "My dad needs a tall walker. My dad's only six-two, and Medicare doesn't pay for a tall walker, so you have to pay out of pocket for that. You need a wheelchair now." So, all of these things that could be on any given day, and this is just a single scenario. You know, it- it- it's- it's- it's one scenario. Uh, it's, you know, you have people that wander, and they wander outside their home, and they don't

[42:19] Speaker 2: Yeah.

[42:19] Speaker 1: ... remember their name. Do you know how to find them? Do you know how to let your neighbors know if your loved one is wandering? Do you know, bracelets or something to put on them that if somebody finds them or p- the police find them how to guide them home? Do you know if somebody walks outside a front door, what direction does somebody go when they walk? Because people do walk in a particular direction. Do you know what direction they're going to head? Do you know why they are wandering? Do you know what they are looking for when they are wandering? Do you know when people, you know, are forgetting how to open a door or how to get out of a bathroom, and all of a sudden, they go to the bathroom, and they don't remember how to open the door to get themselves out, and all of a sudden, they're panicked, and do you know how to go in and to come? And do you know how to take someone into a restroom who does not know?... how to get out.

[43:15] Speaker 1: And so, there's scenario after scenario, and your scenario is going to be unique for you. Nobody's journey is the same, you know? Your journey might just be that somebody is forgetting to turn off the stove, or somebody is smoking and they put their cigarettes down and they don't remember where that cigarette is, or it's a fire risk, or somebody that leaves their Christmas tree up too long, or they're living in a house that has old wiring and they don't realize, or that their toaster is too close to something and, you know, people are forgetting, or do you know even socks, like socks with a rubber bottom so they don't slip are compression socks if people are having high blood pressure or low blood pressure. And there are so many points to, uh, go through, so many pages to turn, so many chapters, so many stories, so many scenarios. And whatever your scenario is today, yesterday, tomorrow, it's valid. It's completely, absolutely valid. And your feelings going through it are valid.

[44:36] Speaker 1: Your emotions going through it are valid. Your exhaustion going through it is valid. Your frustration is valid, being online, being on hold, trying to reach agencies, trying to reach care if your, um, family member is a vet. They have amazing services, senior services if you need help. If you are in the VA hospital, there are places your family can stay while you're in the hospital where you're being operated on. If you are a vet, there's legal services or food services. Um, Medicare offers food services now. Do you know to get your parent's toenails clipped, that that's covered if you take them to a podiatrist instead of trying to take them to a nail salon and, and trying to engage and get them up on this high chair to sit in a little foot bath to get their toenails clipped? You can go to a podiatrist, you can go to somebody, and that is covered. So, what is covered? What can you have somebody come, can somebody come to their house and do their hair?

[45:48] Speaker 1: Can their, um, they have the bed baths where you can literally lay your head back in the basin, and you can shampoo your head if somebody is bedridden so in the hospital, they don't have to have, like, you know, this hair that's all oily because it hasn't been washed in weeks, because they're hospital bound or they... There's little caps and they're terrible. No, there are other options that you can have to be able to have a fresh scalp and, and to have clean hair or to have your skin be washed or lotion or makeup, whatever that looks like for someone. I know, um, when my dad, originally we got him a cane, he did not want a cane. He did not or he just refused. "It's for old people." "I'm not old, I'm not gonna have a cane." We had to go through that.

[46:36] Speaker 1: And I would show him all these videos of Fred Astaire or, you know, Masterson, all of these things that were, made canes romantic, made canes alluring, made canes heroic, made canes exciting, made canes invigorating, made canes courageous, made canes debonair, made canes sexy, made canes alluring. And so, my dad was able to see all these videos and see all these movies, and then he was like, "Oh, I mean, canes aren't so bad. Look, that guy gets all the women," or, "Oh, that guy is, you know, the richest guy in town and he carries a cane," or, "That guy..." And by giving new information, gave him a new perspective so the cane wasn't only for people. The cane was something he wanted because the cane was going to be a status symbol. It was something that meant something to him.

[47:34] Speaker 1: And so, how we navigate these things instead of just throwing your hands up and saying, "Oh, they refuse, you know, to wear a cane or have a cane because then they think canes are for old people but they need one and they're gonna fall down and what do I do?" Don't get stuck in this whirl, 'cause I know, I was there. I was in the washing machine of life and I, there was no getting out. It was just bang, bang, bang, bang, like, you know, when the, the clothes are off balance in the washer or the dryer and you hear that clank, clank, clank? That's what it felt like in my life. And then I found some windows, and then I found some doors, and then I found experts, and I found people that, um, cared enough, like at Medicare, you know, the, the, the Medicare agent, and we're gonna have her on, I think she's on the end of this month and boy, she's remarkable because she said to me, "This is what you do. This is the time you call so you're not going to be on hold forever.

[48:37] Speaker 1: These are the questions that you're going to ask of this insurance company. This is what you wanna... You wanna have a list of their meds, you wanna have a list of the pharmacies, so you wanna make sure that pharmacy and those meds are covered before you... So you just wanna say here is a list, let me go through this with you, let me send you a copy of this. This is the time to call so you're not on hold. This is what you wanna do. These are the questions you wanna ask. You don't wanna pay more than this. This is all that they need. Don't let them talk you into anything else." Whatever it was, the Medicare agent, and, and Lupe, she will, will be on with us and, and so prepare your questions for her (laughs) 'cause she's just unbelievable. She's phenomenal. She's like, she beats-... queen of the world for everything that she's doing, but don't allow yourself to be in that washing machine. Don't allow yourself to be doing the bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.

[49:28] Speaker 1: Um, and then all of a sudden, you know, you're seeing the little stars like in the cartoons of, you know, "What just happened? How did I get here? Um, what do I do next?" So even for something just like that I went through with my dad, okay, broken hip, broken neck. What do you do? You need rehab. These are the rehab choices. How do you choose? What is covered? What is not covered? What is the best for my particular parent? For me, for my own health, for this, the best situation? Um, what is going to bring the speediest recovery? What is going to be pain-free? What is going to be the best possible solution for me and for my family or for the mother or the father or the aunt or the uncle or the spouse that I love, that I care about so much? And if it were me, what would I want somebody to be choosing for me right now? And to really listen to your heart.

[50:32] Speaker 1: You know, we can, here, give you all of the opportunities, and all of the options, and all of the different ways that it can work in different scenarios, sort of like in a game show. You have door number one, door number two, and door number three. And what if, under all those doors, um, were great prizes and great vacations and great... And is the only person that can choose for you is you, or the only person that can choose for your parents if you are assisting in that care, but at the same time, know your options. Know you're not stuck. Know you don't have to go to a 30-day rehab facility. Know that you don't have to take this medicine because a neurologist said that this is going to slow down Alzheimer's when that medicine can be harmful and dangerous. Know that you don't have to just do this type of therapy or this type of exercise, or if they give you weights and they give you an exercise sheet and send you off on your own, you want to be sure that you're safe.

[51:39] Speaker 1: And, and how do you make sure that you're safe? And are there ways, and are there community centers, and there are other programs, are, there's support groups? Is there another better way? Or is there a way at all that you haven't looked at, haven't thought of, or even knew existed? And maybe, you know, the same way that they say fear is false evidence appearing real. Kids say, "Oh, there are monsters in the closet," and you open the closet and you say, "Oh, well, that's the air conditioning, it's the air conditioning that's making the sound." And you sit with that child in that closet and the air conditioning and you laugh and you blow and you make whatever, just, and balloons, and you make it a game until the air conditioning becomes a source of joy instead of a monster in the closet. Or you're afraid of planes and you say, "Oh, that's when the plane, you know, the propellers go up and down and that's what's doing it." That when you have information, you're no longer afraid.

[52:40] Speaker 1: That's really the truth. So when you have information, the fear completely disappears. And you're aware. You have awareness, you have attunement, you have alignment, you have intuition. And so I can help provide that information for you so you're not scared, and you're not afraid, and you're not lost, and you're not confused. And when somebody at the hospital, when you're exhausted and they're in front of you, then they're quick, going quick, you know, they have this and this and this and that, and this is broken, that's broken, da, da, da, and they're just going through the medical jargon, and this is what their bli- white blood count is, and this is, and these levels are low, and these levels are high, and this is what we want to do, and we're going to send them to rehab and we're going to do this, and here, sign this. Like, it, it's so unbelievably overwhelming. And I would love you to not have to be overwhelmed.

[53:39] Speaker 1: I would love you, even from the hospital, reach out and say, "Hey, Nicole, you know, my dad fell last night," "My mom fell last night," or, "Oh, we're shaking the room. Did you ever hear of this, you know, condition? Did you ever hear of this disease?" Or, "Did you ever hear of this treatment? They're going to try this treatment." And if I don't have the answer on hand, I will find it. I am working with the top specialists in the medical field in the world and the top researchers, and we're here to help you. I want to do this with you. I want to stand by your side. I want to support you. I want to walk with you. I want to be there with you. I want to listen to what you are going through. Um, so many times, I wish I could have just called somebody in the middle of the night and just cried, just ... It was great. Like, just, somebody doesn't have to say anything.

[54:34] Speaker 1: Sometimes just being able to, to let it out and to, you know, it's like you're all corked up and all this emotion and you're trying to be so strong for these people that have been so strong for you, and you're trying to take care of these people that have taken care of you And you're trying to love with all your heart, and you might also have a, you know, a partner or children or pets and, and, you know, you're on the hospital and the dog has to be, somebody has to feed the dog. And there's life, life in the middle of this is happening, and the how we Chinese jump rope life, and how we Chinese jump rope our emotions, and our feelings, and our thoughts, and our commitmentsAnd how we still wholeheartedly, 100% are so sure that there is nothing in the world that is more important than caring for those that we love and caring for those that gave us life. And so, um, I'm here. I am here to answer those questions. I am here for you. I am here with options. I'm here with research.

[55:48] Speaker 1: I am here with experience. (laughs) And I look forward to hearing from you. And just know that I am so proud of you. I am really, really proud of you for stepping up on this journey, and for sharing your heart, and for sharing this time with me today and always. And update on my dad, he's doing great and we are sending him back to water therapy. The doctors were amazing. The physical therapists have been fantastic. And the next step and stages are, um, the next step and stages. And whatever that looks like, whatever that brings, I'm doing it with you. I'm gonna be equally as vulnerable, equally as transparent, equally as fragile, equally as terrified, and courageous at the same time, and trusting in knowing that this is the most important thing that we can do and the most important journey of our life. And as one of my dear friends wrote to me just yesterday, he said, "The only way to get through it is to go through it." And the only way to get through it is to go through it.

[57:24] Speaker 1: And so I'm going through it and I invite you to go through it with me. And I ask you to invite me to go through your journey, as I wanna be there for you, with you, to support you and to love you. And together, we will get to the other side and make all the wishes and dreams come true, right? So it's all about love. It's all about love. So I thank you for being with me. I so look forward to having you here on our future shows. So we have coming up, we've got Medicare, we have Mobility Plus talking about, um, you know, everything from wheelchairs and beds to walkers and, and how to keep the home safe. And then we're gonna talk about, uh, legal issues as well. And so those are the shows that we have coming up, our next three shows, and we invite you to join us. We look forward to having you here and I wish you a wonderful week. It is here in our time, um, coming up upon Mother's Day.

[58:32] Speaker 1: And so if your mother is still here with you, um, hold her tight, tell her that you love her and, um, and grateful for her because she has gifted the world you. And thank you for being with us today. You are the care compass pointing hearts back home. Turning quiet lonely rooms into places they belong. To the elderly, the wise, you give your steady light. Careful care, caring compassion till the dark turns into light.

[59:19] Speaker 1: (instrumental music)