[00:00] Speaker 1: (instrumental music plays) Welcome to The Laughing Heart, your weekly podcast where we explore the most essential dimensions of our lives, with a little humor, I hope, and, well, some possible insight. Today is Mother's Day 2026, and I'm sitting across from a mother, actually, my spouse, Rochelle, so we can share this motherhood explorations with you, for you mothers and for you fathers and children and whoever you may be. Mother's Day 2005. There was this little mother, who raised two grownup boys. She weathered all the worries and survived the mess and noise. She fed them, and she clothed them and chauffeured them around and picked them up and dried their tears when they fell upon the ground. She braved the sibling rivalry, the arguments and fights, the illnesses and crying, and those frequent sleepless nights. They taught her to be patient, more tolerant and kind. They showed her ways of love that goes way beyond the mind.

[01:45] Speaker 1: She saw their souls emerging and their many talents sprout, even though they could be difficult when they'd fuss and moan and pout. She applauded all their victories and mourned their sad defeats. She'd buck them up with goodies and assuage their grief with treats. She enjoyed their zany antics, imaginations running wild, the romantic dreams and visions that occur to a little child. Of course, there were the times when motherhood was tough, the ways her love was tested when she felt she'd had enough. But her devotion always triumphed and overcame those brief travails, as she realized that motherhood was not something you failed. And as people got to know them, her delightful little sons, she could share her joy with others, families, friends, and even nuns. They shared so much together, like the times they ate fondue or painted eggs and opened gifts and capsized in their canoe.

[03:12] Speaker 1: Yes, that time in Arkansas when they were stranded and forlorn and she held their freezing bodies and kept them safe and warm. And how about those summer camps before Love was even two? And the soccer games and wrestling meets, the times they got the flu. They were always so creative, though not so very neat, but for them to become musicians was an unexpected treat. She can savor all the memories from those precious childhood scenes, for she loved them both as babies, as boys, and then as teens. And as they've grown to manhood and she's seen them leave the nest, she can feel good about her mothering, 'cause she knows she did her best. As they step out into the world and childhood days are past, we wonder how it happened, how the time went by so fast. So it's a strong reminder as we watch our children grow, that while mother's love is holding on, it's also letting go.

[04:35] Speaker 1: So we give thanks to this little mother for everything she faced in raising two such fine young men with unswerving love and grace. So Rochelle, I've just played this poem-

[04:53] Speaker 2: Well, first, it brought tears-

[04:54] Speaker 1: ... of Mother's Day-

[04:54] Speaker 2: ... to my eyes-

[04:55] Speaker 1: ... 2005.

[04:56] Speaker 2: ... remembering all those beautiful-

[04:57] Speaker 1: Let's jump in here, dear-

[04:58] Speaker 2: ... moments of their childhood-

[04:58] Speaker 1: ... and see what it is you have to say about it.

[05:00] Speaker 2: ... birthing. Oh. I think every time I looked at them playing as little boys, my heart would just fill. I thought, "I was blessed to have these children." I became a mother late in life. My peers had all been... become mothers 10 to 12 years before me. I really didn't expect to be a mother. I wanted a career. And when I met Errol, the first thing I said about him to those who asked me about him, I said, "He's going to be the father of my children." I don't know how I knew that, but I did, and it was true. So when I think of mothering, I think that every woman that ever lived on this planet, every person who has ever lived on this planet has been mothered. A mother has borne them, nourished them, raised them, sometimes well and sometimes not so well. But whatever it was, it existed.There isn't a single human being that hasn't been birthed by a mother, so we're pretty special people.

[06:11] Speaker 2: And my children, I keep their pictures in a locket that I wear often, and people say, "Well, who's, who's the picture in the locket?" And I say, "They're my gurus because they taught me the most essential thing I've ever learned, divine love, love that they didn't have to give back to me." If they smiled, fine. If they cried, fine. I, I kept... the love was always there. I never questioned it. I still don't. They are men now. One of them has a child of his, his own. The other has animals that are my grand animals. But when I speak to them, my heart is open. Whatever they have to say, whatever conversation we get into, I realize they're the only human beings in my life that I've known from inception to this moment in time. And if that isn't special, I don't know what is.

[07:11] Speaker 1: Rochelle, uh, I wonder if you could go back and think of any particular moments in your mothering-

[07:18] Speaker 2: Oh, God, there's so many.

[07:19] Speaker 1: ... that especially stood out for you-

[07:20] Speaker 2: But the first time-

[07:21] Speaker 1: ... that gave you some-

[07:21] Speaker 2: ... I nursed-

[07:21] Speaker 1: ... special joy-

[07:23] Speaker 2: ... my first child-

[07:23] Speaker 1: ... or insight-

[07:24] Speaker 2: ... I felt-

[07:24] Speaker 1: ... or amusement or disturbed you?

[07:26] Speaker 2: ... a sense of divinity that I was feeding him through my body. There was something so special about that, that I was practically crying. And the second, my second son, who's just as adorable as well, I've, I had him birthed at home rather than in a hospital because I realized that there was... the hospital's full of sick people, and I wanted to have that experience of having his godparents around and Errol, everybody there to witness his birth and, and when I nursed him in, at home for the first time, I felt that same feeling of, at onement. It was just so... Nursing my children was just about the most ex- wonderful experience of my life, and I remember thinking, "If I had known motherhood was going to be this wonderful, I think I would have started earlier." (laughs) But then, it, I wouldn't have had Errol as the father, and that was very special too. Tossing them in the air, (laughs) something when you wrote, you wrote it in your poem.

[08:36] Speaker 2: You and I would, would swing them up-

[08:39] Speaker 1: What's the next moment-

[08:39] Speaker 2: ... and they'd go more-

[08:40] Speaker 1: ... that really jumps out at you?

[08:40] Speaker 2: ... more and more. The delights they had, and things that we introduced them to that they wanted more of was always special, and it happened so often, you know, whatever we did. More ice cream, more running around, more this, more that. Th- they just loved the joys that we were able to give them as loving parents. So many, you know, as my granddaughter would s- use the term, millions of gazillions, ba-billions, ba-trillions of them.

[09:12] Speaker 2: (laughs)

[09:14] Speaker 1: One thing I'd like to share is there was a reference to nuns. (laughs) You, you may have thought that was just to, because I could make it rhyme, (laughs) but in fact, we had this amazing experience with a, a spiritual order, uh, get this, The Franciscan Sisters of The Perpetual Adoration, (laughs) up in, uh, Wisconsin, and we did a, a program for them way back in the day, and at that time, before Ian was born, Love was traveling with us.

[09:45] Speaker 1: We actually did up and down the state, and these nuns gathered every four years, 900 of them-

[09:51] Speaker 2: And they loved him. Oh, the sisters-

[09:53] Speaker 1: ... and we stayed-

[09:54] Speaker 2: ... just loved him.

[09:54] Speaker 1: ... in the mother house-

[09:56] Speaker 2: (laughs) Well, he was lovable.

[09:56] Speaker 1: ... a, among many-

[09:57] Speaker 2: He was this lovable little boy.

[09:57] Speaker 1: ... unique experiences-

[09:58] Speaker 2: Said wonderful-

[09:59] Speaker 1: ... we've had-

[09:59] Speaker 2: ... funny things.

[10:00] Speaker 1: ... but that was the reverence-

[10:00] Speaker 2: And then when Ian came along, we traveled with both of them.

[10:04] Speaker 1: (laughs)

[10:05] Speaker 2: Well, it, I wouldn't say it was hard. It was challenging because we had to make sure that they was taken care of while we were doing our work, but it was so wonderful having them with us, enjoying the way the babysitters or whoever was taking care of them while we were working loved them. "I love your children. Oh, they're so lovely." (laughs) And then many things that they said, you know, that were just precious because they were little. Oh, right. (laughs) Right. He did, he created a third leg.

[10:39] Speaker 1: And the, the creativity-

[10:40] Speaker 2: Yeah, they used to dress-

[10:41] Speaker 1: Remember, Love created that-

[10:42] Speaker 2: ... up in costumes and-

[10:42] Speaker 1: ... third leg.

[10:42] Speaker 2: ... and they would act out things and they would fall down dying and gasping. (laughs) Um, they were a delight, but they're still a delight. They remind me how blessed I am to have two beautiful sons. And I remember when they laughed as little ones, th- their whole bodies would laugh, not just, not the sound that just came out of them, but their face w- and their little legs and their little arms. Every part of them would laugh, (laughs) and I would think, "That was so delightful and can I still laugh like that? Do, why do we lose laughing like that?" And I recovered it as a result of loving it so much. I've recovered it as a, as an adult. Laughing the whole, my whole being participates in the laughter like a child, and I'm so glad that I had them as my teacher to teach me what it was like to laugh with my whole being.

[11:40] Speaker 2: (laughs)

[11:40] Speaker 1: Whole being as far as I was able to observe. I don't remember it ever going away with you, Rochelle. You always laughed with your whole being as far as I was able to observe. Here's another poem, uh, that I wrote for one of Rochelle's Mother's Day. Some, like the last one, were rhymed. Others, like... strike you and you're able to go on this ride.So here we go, another Mother's Day poem. I used to write a Mother's Day piece for her every Mother's Day until, well, she became a grandmother, then the... (laughs) I wasn't able to make the shift, but we've got many years of Mother's Day poems and stories. Here you go. For Rochelle Stryder on the 25th anniversary, Mother's Day.

[12:35] Speaker 1: As we drop into the mother today/ And feel her fragrant touch,/ As we squirm into her feathered embrace,/ As we crawl into the folds/ Of her voluptuous being/ And open,/ She bathes us with chocolate assurance,/ Soft soundings that lie beyond the scope of words,/ Leaving them outside the doors of knowing./ And they, like little dogs, jump and bark to be let in,/ Must content themselves with abbreviated insights/ That she tosses through the opening/ In their shared heart./ She surely showed up today/ In the stares of becoming,/ Seen in little children's eyes/ Or the warm smiles of parents/ As they hold the hands of make-believe/ Or tossed them into the air./ "Fear not, Mother will catch you, just allow."/ And the children were sure./ Dropping even deeper now,/ Mother suffuses, suffuse/ The humble attempt of language/ To capture the spirit of Mother,/ Suckling, breathing us, us, us./ To reach her,/ Just allow the hardened self to collapse/ And its mental gyrations to subside/ And the

[14:37] Speaker 1: thoughts barely visible now./ And lastly,/ Take a ride on this language train/ Till it empties into the estuary/ Of open-mouthed amazement,/ Until it reaches the end of the line,/ Gives up and wallows in exclamation marks,/ Sailing into the delicate wind of spirit breath,/ Too subtle to be felt in the turmoil of resistance,/ But like a mighty wind in the act of surrender./ And the children were sure./ Flashback. We're in the womb now,/ Where DNA weaves its magic/ And bright cells form out of crackles and possibility,/ Like cooking up a breakfast of being./ Smell the flavors of love/ Hopping off the skillet,/ Mom's cooking./ Deeper now, ah, I can sense her knowing me,/ Inviting me into her chamber./ "Slide into me," she says.

[16:00] Speaker 1: /"Let me wash all that is not you out of you."/ "Yes, my love, no need to pretend self with me./ The self I bequeath you is certain./ Rest in certainty of unknowing,/ Like a ballast on a ship of the sea of unknowing."/ And the children were sure./ Dropping in even further,/ "Let me show you around my being," she says./ "See yourself reflected in the mirror of my marrow./ Feel yourself buoyed up in the boldness of my bones./ Sense how you are made in the muscles of my membranes/ And hear yourself humming in the heart of my heart./ Warm yourself in me."/ And the children were sure./ And then she shows up in the blue sparkling eyes of Rochelle,/ One of Mother's handmaidens,/ Carrying the genes of the unconditioned embrace,/ Carrying the genes of the unconditional embrace,/ Residing in the reality/ Of having birthed, having been birthed/ In the continual birthing of presence./ And with each letting go, we all are expanded,/ Assured that there's always a womb to live in,/ Found anytime we

[17:52] Speaker 1: detach from the finite/ And jump into the acceptance./ Two boys, two men, two lifetimes,/ Too rich, too incredible, too vast, even for hugging,/ Though we try./ And the children were sure./ Love you, happy 25th Mother's Day, Rochelle." Well, as I said, today's Mother's Day, and you've heard some of Rochelle's memories and delights and moving moments. And this is The Laughing Heart, and you can reach me if you have a comment or question at estryder@gmail.com. I'd love to hear from you. That's estryder@gmail.com. And you can go to our website, thelaughingheart.org. Although, I'm excited, we're getting a new website design, and then we have, uh, Stryder Entertainment on YouTube as well as the Substack. I like that, Substack. That's a new thing, putting out some of our perspectives on life, love, spirit, humor, et cetera. We've enjoyed sharing with you, and I hope you'll tune in again so we could share more of The Laughing Heart.

[19:21] Speaker 1: (whimsical music)