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Article by Linzi Levinson June 1, 2015

Fantasy to Fetish and Beyond! Knowing Who You Are In The Bedroom

Sex begins in the mind. We often forget that our mind is our most powerful sexual organ. When the mind is turned on, so is the body. antasy uses our imagination to excite and create amazing and innovative experiences to heighten desire that initiates passion.

A simple article of clothing left on, rather than off, can create a fantasy of nobleman and gentry lady, of aggressive or submissive. How about leather boots and a riding crop? Can you almost smell the horses and leather! What if we role-play? We can be anyone and this can create an adrenaline rush that is quite memorable. Our sexual experiences should become memorable, and wouldn’t it be great if we could always be craving the next new thing we can try. Why not? Do we worry what others will think?  Are there people we can share these desires with?

Desire creates a sense of urgency, even in long-term relationships.

Our sense of boredom is all too common in relationships, so rather than allow fear or judgment get in the way, decide to explore, and embark on new terrain. You may like it, you may not, but it will lead you to places you have yet to go. Whether fetish is within your repartee or not, whispers, secrets touches, lingerie and “clothes-on sex” will always be remembered and maybe even associated with naughtiness.

Savor the body, and tempt with the tease. How should you do these things?  Any way that comes to mind or that you desire.  Talk it through with your partner, assure them you will keep them safe, and ask them just to explore with you where this may lead.


There are incredible rewards when engaging in intimacy and sexual experiences, but let’s not forget that there are also significant risks. Have you inquired if your partner has now (or has ever had) an STD? How do you know if it is the truth? Should they get tested?

How do you respond if a man says that condoms ruin the sexual experience for him? If you are using toys, do you know how to clean them? Did you know that different objects have unique cleansers? Did you know that using no cleansers could cause infection?

The options and objects that may create the greatest and most invigorating rush for us sexually could also be the ones that present the highest risk.

It is recommended that you explore, engage, discover, and experience all that you can sexually. This choice is healthy, and frankly, a BLAST!

You must, however, use caution, and get education around what you are doing so that the playful and exciting options you choose (and toys you play with) take you on the greatest ride ever, but ensure that you are on a safe ride. Being open to new experiences can spur you both on to a sheet-clutching, toe-curling, teeth-clenching ride that you will be so glad you chose. Just put your seatbelt on. Be safe.