I would say that we are responsible for choosing a mate that is compatible with our personality (if a person is seeking a romantic partnership).  I believe that each of us is 100% responsible for our own happiness or misery.  These are feelings we generate from within ourselves.  

On the other hand, it's important to choose a romantic partner who we can work with (effectively) in achieving our goals.  A mate’s words and behavior can have both a positive and negative impact on our circumstances.  A romantic partnership should be mutually beneficial.  We should want to choose a partner who will contribute something of value to the relationship.   We also want to contribute meaning to our partner’s life.

We should identify what personal qualities we are seeking in a romantic partner, rather than looking for negative character traits in a person (these are the personal qualities we find undesirable in a person based on negative experiences in past relationships).  Otherwise, the law of attraction will ensure that we get proposals from prospective mates who do not serve our needs.

Blessings <3

~ David Almeida <3
Author and Mystic