Letters on Life #175 - The language of Love

 

You usually don't have profound experiences at the dental office but this day was different.  As the hygienist adjusted the back of the chair, while listening to meditative music, I found myself staring at a magical poster on the ceiling. I noticed the vivid colors of the sky as the sun was setting and the beautiful rock formations that were jutting out from the ocean. Underneath the poster was a quote by Henry David Thoreau.

 

You cannot perceive beauty but with a serene mind.

 

As I reflected upon this thought my mind wandered to a different thought.  "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."  One thing is certain and that is when we feel good inside, it is natural to see the good in others.  It is also true that when we feel love inside, we will see that love in others.  Unfortunately too many of us are looking to find love outside of ourselves...it's an inside job that has its own language. 

 

The Language of Love is the most powerful language on the planet.  When I was younger, I used the words "I love you" sparingly because I didn't want to mislead my partner into thinking that I felt differently than I did.  What I didn't realize at the time was that those words would always be difficult for me to express.  Even when I tell those closest to me that I love them, these words have more charge than other words.

 

What I have found is that I use variations on those words.  When signing a letter it is natural for me to sign it with "love" as opposed to "I love you."  Some friends use the phrase "love ya."  Sometimes with others, we'll occasionally end the conversation with "I love you" and then after the pause, a reply.  "I love you, too."  I might say, "I loved it" when referring to a movie or a book. 

 

In the English language, we haven't created enough words that enable us to adequately express the various types of love that we feel.   

 

We can look to the Greeks for wisdom in this regard. The love that two friends, who aren't lovers, experience, when touching each other's soul is referred to as Philos by the Greeks.

 

The special love for our family, which is different from any other love we experience, is referred to as Storge by the Greeks.

 

Spiritual love, or the love that is god is referred to as Agape.  The physical love, when lovers embrace is referred to as Eros.

 

The language of love is an acknowledgement of a person's essence and their inner beauty.  If we are not comfortable with the more accepted language of love, it is important to create our own language; a language that acknowledges others; their greatness, their gifts and their blessings.  By becoming more comfortable with this language and using it more often, we can open the doors to deeper connection in our lives.  We can also let go of the old patterns of criticism that have been preventing us from experiencing the intimacy we desire in our relationships.

 

 It was after 9/11, that I vowed to express my love and gratitude to my family and others as much as possible. "Letters on Life", which was created shortly afterwards, (this is #175) has become a vehicle for this purpose.  I am grateful for the many people I am blessed to be in contact with. 

 

It's an exciting journey with new opportunities being presented constantly. The Inspire Possibility Show has been one of these opportunities. I want to thank you for supporting me on this journey and for sharing Letters on Life with those in your circle. And please let me know what your "language of love" is.