Derek Hart

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Derek Hart
Derek Hart
San Francisco
Creator of Understand Each Other, Relationship Coach, Speaker and Writer

Derek is the creator of Understand Each Other, a system used to rebuild and transform couples into having more fulfilling, deeper intimacy.

Derek Hart has been guiding individuals and couples for 27 years. To summarize the work of Derek Hart in one word, that word would be vulnerability. Vulnerability lies at the heart of what he teaches. Through guiding people in 5 countries, he has mastered his approach to teaching people exactly how to come back to honest communication. He does not simply teach from a template. He helps his clients locate the exact emotional struggle they’re having, and shows them how to express it by uniquely modeling vulnerability for them. Derek helps creates new interactions for the couple, and makes suggestions about what they might say to each other. He taps into an intuition, a felt sense of what they have been scared to say to each other, and then supports them in their new communication. Derek has a special training program for women, and shows them how to deeply understand men, and how to talk to men in a way that doesn't push them away. His unique approach is not an intellectual exercise only. He’s vulnerable with his clients, creates a deep relationship with each and every client, and clients feel seen, heard, accepted, and cared for.

Derek Hart began his healing journey in 1990. As he contemplated his own family system, he began giving his knowledge away to others. Through his mother’s struggle with addiction, and ultimately her suicide, Derek created a life dedicated to helping others with their relationships.

Derek states, “At the end of a life, people don’t wish they had spent more time working hard, earning more money, or collecting more possessions. They wish they risked showing themselves fully to at least one person.”

Derek’s lifelong purpose is to bring emotional intelligence to relationships. He guides couples and individuals out of relationship confusion, into connection and clarity. Derek takes a couple from distress, to functioning again, and then from a mediocre connection to profound love. He sees directly into a couple’s disconnect, gets right to the heart of the matter, and gently focuses them into the most powerful relationship solution of all, and that is vulnerability.

Emotional intelligence can be taught, and can be learned with the proper guidance. Derek does not teach people to lean forward with aggressive radical honesty. He teaches them to lean backward into vulnerability. This approach is  clear, direct, and useful. Relationships that would have otherwise fallen apart can mend and heal.

While you might find Derek playing piano, relaxing at his favorite Hot Springs, or preparing one of his favorite Vegan meals (his other passion), you’ll usually find him listening to and helping people recognize how much power they have to create the relationships they desire.