everyone has their own unique views and needs when it comes to financial success if you'd like to leave your financial woes behind and live a life of Financial Freedom you've come to the right place welcome to the saving with Steve show hosted by Steve Sexton the show will help you with the ins and outs of money we talked about financial issues that could be costing you thousands of dollars and keeping you up we talk about money tax reduction saving more spending less 401K is risk management retirement and everything under the sun that relates to you having a healthy relationship with money here is your host of saving with Steve Steve Sexton a welcome to the saving was future we talked about the ins-and-outs of money pretty much everything in the central AC you having a happier healthy relationship with Mike my name is Steve sex and I want to thank you for joining us we hit a little bit of a milestone here we just added a hundred thousand new listeners to our show Weaver<br> how much appreciate your support sharing it with your friends and family we're all up over 600,000 listener so we're very excited about that you can catch us anywhere in the United States as well as in 56 countries so we're really really excited today we have a wonderful show for you but first I want to talk about the last episode there is so many aha moments there everybody just loved it today on the be talking about money moves to make before the end of the year here's one of the big things did you know that money is the number one things couples fight about and the second leading cause of divorce is with the stress of the holiday season is easy to understand this time of the year to be particularly challenging for couples and families we have figs of Solomon it heals people build stronger relationships as a unique experience as a relationship expert a former stockbroker Finance exact a couple with the interest in the world of personal finance makes him a perfect fit to help families move past<br> conflicts that arise during the holiday season now today's guest is the wonderful 160 Solomon is a licensed marriage and family therapist use what well-known relationship expert he's the commander-in-chief of the top rated therapist in San Diego who's the founder of empathy that e m p a t h i. Cam is one of the most sought-after relationship experts to movers and shakers in Silicon Valley big help some of the most creative successful people are time make love and family work he's been featured on NPR all things considered as well as numerous podcast we're just really lucky to have them here cuz I know we're going to talk about a number of things but for many of you you're going to go oh my gosh it's going to be all high after all high after all so welcome to the show thanks for being here with us. Lovely introduction Bay kind of you well I'm delighted and honored to be here<br> what brought you into therapy for relationships around my dad's a therapist mom's of DARPA sister's a therapist I was kind of the black sheep of the family by doing the financing and so I resisted family vocation to call him until like my mid-30s I need to get up for me what I realized I was using all the same skills by relating to people understanding people helping them with financial stuff and I just wanted to do it a little deeper it was a natural transition and kind of a return to my true home to be a psychotherapist mother like when I was a stockbroker ride in the 90 she would like to do in like in my twenties like why don't you just get a job in the bar and have fun<br> so stressful you know that he needs to be happy and I don't care what you doing I just thought it'd be fun to ask a question I really don't care what they do as long as they're happy and that's the big thing about being a parent so what do we do when the holiday season bring it up family finances there's disagreement I see this all the time if you have the saber the spender and it just kind of like button head what's the best way to deal with something like that yeah we'll see what the best way to deal with it is on his way to a better relationship is paradoxical the first part that might be like kind of van different than what people are used to is the problem is not actually the main problem I don't know it's going to be really weird and Lykke Li sex money will how we spend money over the holidays is not actually the main problem the main problem<br> is how we talk about money and have the order of watch you tackle is very important I want to make sure we buy everybody guess that's saying I'll feel bad if I don't let the other person is Hey listen you're not in touch with the reality of her family finances right that's going to be a really tense holiday season between fried dough in an Ideal World they would take time out from problem solving and trying to make their case and carve out some time where they do not try and problem-solve like work out how much responder don't stand and actually talk about water the feeling and difficult thoughts that are coming up for both of us around money or family finances right because if we can get to a place usually what's really happening is let's say some variation of one person's not feeling hurt or considered right around finances and they say the other purse<br> feeling like you don't seem to trust me or believe me right now or stolen version of there's some love me that's nothing new. Here's the crazy thing we don't necessarily have to resolve what we do about family financing for the issue itself to get back there if we got to a place where wow I feel like we actually both understand each other and wasp coming up inside the both of us about money and bow it's the holidays that changes everything I'm now there's a whole bunch of solution that previously if you tried that solution without a deeply understanding where each other are coming from but the same solution wouldn't work where is now that we deeply understand each other that exact same solution is yes because we have gone from finances is separating our emotional bond to now we feel emotionally bonded and we can attend to like finances over the holidays as a team<br> we're both valid people with valid concerns reading off the same sheet of music moving forward I was reading all the same sheet of music eyes were too violent people would chew Valance sets of concerned even if they're not the same as each other night when two people can see each other as you are an actual valid human being with valid concern I'm your way of extending to Mommy even if it's not mine it actually makes sense that seems like such a small thing why would we even do it like we really going to buy granny then do a VR set from Facebook right like one he probably killed herself ride let's not do it going to sleet right if we go like look it makes sense that you would want to get this for granny cuz she means so much to you I get it it's valid and then imagine the partner going hey I understand<br> that is the really scary for you to imagine we're going to pay for something outside of our budget and we're not working on the siding where we buy it yet we're literally working on that is so nice of you I actually make sense I see that you actually think I'm I'm not a crazy person for wanting to buy a br type of Granny the other way around thank you for understanding that it would be scary for me to imagine like the second are we going to be buying every one VR sets those things haven't come down in price yet right because it's so look into your emotional bond two people that love each other it's actually more painful to see an invalid to each other then it is like where we spend too much money or not spend too much money to attend your emotional bomb first finances just happens to be the topic that is bringing you guys into disconnection on a negative emotional cycle with each other<br> okay I can see that I can see that happening and I'm just listening to a few people that I talked with in the last few weeks I'm just seeing that whole dynamic not playing out properly where somebody's not being validated for what they want to do or spend or how they want to look at things if you were to go through these that's what he imagined like a couple to 30 minutes I'm for 15 minutes one person asked the other what are the difficult things and thoughts that come out for you about finances over the holidays second person at the end of the day 5 minutes they shared the second person says this is what I heard you tell me like they literally like nobody actually heard you the third step is kind of person that was listening except that is how they feel like they give me example imagine someone says I'm scared about spending too much money over the holidays and you're relaxed I don't think that's what you scared of no they are scared what do you think they should be<br> actually what they're feeling then the next step can you validate them even if it's not true for me could you see is it in the realm of human possibility of a human being could be scared about spending too much money over. It makes sense I could imagine why that make sense you feel that way then can you access some emotion inside you towards the other person I got the fact that you're scared about spending money my heart goes out to you I actually have some feelings toward you the fact that it's scary for you then we go back to the person that Sheridan like it's just like so what's it like to have shared another person except your experience can validate and actually has feelings towards you cares that that's how you feel and then we flip it and we do it the other way around now that they have that experience but they successfully rarely do something work well the first time we got to try him a few times but as soon as possible or to actually work the first time now let's return to the question so why do we do this color base<br> now as a team would most people aren't going to put it this staff before they do problem solve and write this like attending to our emotional bomb exactly. Well here's the good news about that if you're listening really closely you're going to try and fix something your partner your spouse is going to get hurt cuz they're not going to feel hurt or considered right with them in their present moment experience I'm now they're going to give you a signal that they're hurt with you and the happy with you so now you get a second chance to interpret what's happening right the first time we get to practice oldest after we're already not feeling happy with each other like we're going to be right back with more shaving with Steve you know what we've got to decide to go with figs you're okay stick with this will be right back more expert advice for having a happier relationship with money still to come on the saving with Steve<br> don't let your financial woes keep you up at night and prevent you from living a life of Financial and personal freedom hi I'm Steve Sexton post of the saving with Steve show where did he talk about the ins-and-outs of money those financial issues that could be costing me thousands of dollars causing stress keeping you up at night we're going to talk about money tax reduction saving more spending left your investment risk management retirement and everything is posted with you having a healthier happy relationship with money soon as you've ever dreamed of living a life of Financial and personal freedom you owe it to yourself and your family to tune in to the saving with Steve show join me Steve sex another saving with Steve show as we talked about everything under the sun when it comes to money to learn more about the show visit saving with Steve. Us that's saving with Steve. Us saving with Steve. Us will see you soon<br> welcome back to the show that is here to help you achieve your financial goals it's the saving with Steve show host Steve Sexton a little welcome back to the saving Willis TV show where we talked about the ins-and-outs of money I just want to thank you for joining us tuning in appreciate you sharing this with your friends and family all the replays are available at saving with Steve. Us if you're enjoying the stories of helpful information and insight on saving with steep and I encourage you to scribe to our YouTube channel Spotify Channel Google Play Channel and check out a few of our fuel is it UK help radio BBS Radio AM FM 247 talk radio New York City e360 TV all these networks are dedicated to empowering you to solve problems uplift your spirit and live a life of personal financial Freedom you can also check us out at Facebook it's even with Steve's tax and you can check out the Insiders Club guest gift by the way the beautiful London Baking Company call for Visa in New Hampshire all-natural cookies cake pops.<br> there's a special discount used to go to the website you'll see it right there at saving it's called SWS 20 you going to get 20% off now we're back here with fixing to solve and talk to me about relationships and finance during the holidays and I want to bring us back to this big welcome back to the show for the second segment here thank you Steve I want to talk about financial taboos creating a space we can talk about money with your significant other is this something that makes more sense to do together with somebody like yourself what's the best environment to do that in a couples therapist I am buying believe there's some there's some value what I do and people like me the name thing a couples therapist does the first and most important thing a good cup of Starbucks does is there a able to see there's three entities there's each of the individuals in a couple right there's two of them and then there's a couple together as one entity when your one part of a two-part system you're in better than side and you cannot see the host<br> you can't see it cuz you're literally inside them until what a good couples therapist does is it able to create this narrative add both of your stories into one coherent share narrative about what's happening between the two of you we're both of you make sense nobody's wrong sense that you would feel terrible if we don't buy Granny her VR set right they could totally make send I could totally see how the more scared you get the more you said you can spend money the more you feel like oh my God why why isn't what's important to me to considered and so now you're like you're stealing VR sets at Walmart have you know whatever whatever the accent Tennessee it's so here's the thing is very hard to deal with the activation that happens with a couple around a sensitive topic without a third-party that's able to hold both of them is valid<br> and I'm keep reflecting to the tube separate individuals hey look what's happening between the two of you and isn't this actually really sad and painful for both of you so that's where we want to get back to always end I hope it isn't too and psychobabble I want to help people move from I Consciousness to we Consciousness that you have a problem or I have a problem hey look at this problem we have because right we're so important to each other if you don't hear me it hurts if you don't include me it hurts right and of course money would bring that up in like the next he can guide you and help you do it I just it's very hard for two people to do this on their own and they listen to this set a timer 15 minutes you do 15 minutes let's really accept validate each other right have a deeper each other please go do it on your own so I don't think they don't have the skills<br> blows me away like even my couples that come week after week after week right and I created all these exercise they do at what percentage of my couples that come to counseling do you think when we're outside of a session then do the exercises themselves but I don't like maybe two will actually show up like for the really difficult activating conversations on their own people need a coach somebody there to guide the process away for free to people write like to know I've courses will share the link right I'll give our main Flagship course the complex solution for free to your the listeners and viewers because here's the thing it's valuable it's helpful but I also know most people are going to need some like<br> actual guidance to do to work I want to get into something else the importance of managing expectations in a relationship could you talk about that a little bit yeah yeah well that's great like one of the first things I got to do a couples is receptor story a while what a good relationship is right so little expectation that the most General level in relationships relationships there's three different buckets that a relationship can be in that ugly old is were connected to each other oh my God we're on the same team isn't this great you understand me understand you yeah I'm here for you your enough for me is Brennan doesn't matter what we're talking about it's great for each other's noses having a great time is one of us the other person's of right we're in the ugly is we won't give each other a chance or we just don't know how to get it back together so you know we got to have like one of them is we got to help couples on their<br> signed Bob is normal the work Begins the bad with her finances brought it up or who does the dishes ride or why didn't you go to Granny's funeral heaven forbid programming right to be heard said he fell over broker can now it's a few North like this story and make it by Granny's knuckle of them sorry they ever manage expectations it's totally normal that we both get our feelings hurt with each other we go to bed now to work again now we got to do the work of understanding each other caring about each other points of you accepting validating each other till we get back to go to get I'm just thinking through like my own relationship stand because if you can validate what's important to somebody and you're on the same page it must makes it much easier to make a decision cuz if you're not somebody just going to say now and they're going to be upset and walk away and then when you're looking<br> the taboos and things like that that you want to get past or managing expectations I think it's really important to understand here where do we need to go what would be a taboo by the way I'm curious when you said that<br> grow up what I grew up in is Catholic Family we didn't really talk about money okay we talked about a lot of things you bring those relationships or those feelings in those robotic actions with you later life of those are the things that when you come into a relationship that you need to deal with and sometimes you just mentally can't get past it cuz you're used to what you've been doing for decades by the way this is the way I often took a couple of other things like you were both born and different Spaceballs right like you know you were born in your family culture your partner was born in their family cause they're not both of you plop down into this new baseball one of you is like I don't talk about money the other is like money like the stop triggering for me and then all of a sudden you activate the other person and when you stay at a party so how much did you make last year and the other person who would ever put someone in the spot like that right and the chords to the person that money is not a big deal they don't even understand why your feelings would have been heard and why you would have looked at<br> like giving them a different things because of the way we were brought up so yeah I love that that you already naturally gathered Steve Wright that look we got to do that work if I'm understanding what you're calling the taboos that money is triggering for people in totally different ways and they're all valid if we get people to understand each other I got you now feel so good for a couple days be different right I'll still be like loading a VR sets into my Walmart card life and you know on my wife will be like a Jesus fix forgive the the Irish right we may always have that little part in this but at least we can understand each other and we might put four of them back at the cash register<br> I want to thank you for being here this is been a blast could you tell us where people can go to get your help and also Ellis with your providing for our listeners that free little gift that we can give out the easiest way just go to a theater, and it's a z with an eye on the end of the wind in couldn't afford a g with a y in the end I just have to compromise right so empathy with a 90 n.com and then we have our like I was saying we're just like starting to give all the way our Flagship course to podcast listeners and it's just a theory with a 9 the end.com p.o.d., and then what do we do couples counseling couples coaching for individuals couples horses we have our own podcast my wife and I share her own personal couple of counseling by can talk about it the code from here to me we have like a web app we developed for couples anything we could possibly do to help people have a better relationship we provide identity.com<br> have a wonderful holiday season and you know what I think we're going to want to have you back sometime if that's okay that I would love to come back and say oh my God oh my God oh my God that's good I'm glad to hear you stay safe and stay healthy will see the next time we can go to empathy that empathia calm and go to the website looking for couples help they're being so on and also go to the stadium with Steve website you're going to see the link for the free course that big of saw them with empathy. Cam is going to offer so you can go to our website at 7 with Steve. Us will go to their website and get that free course expect if you're looking to get some help me right back with more shaving with Steve okay sick with this will be right back more expert advice for having a happier relationship with money still to come on the saving with Steve show<br> don't let your financial woes keep you up at night and prevent you from living a life of Financial and personal freedom hi I'm Steve Sexton post of the saving with Steve show where did he talk about the ins-and-outs of money those financial issues that could be costing me thousands of dollars causing stress keeping you up at night we're going to talk about money tax reduction saving more spending left your investment risk management retirement and everything is so sweet with you having a healthier happy relationship with money soon as you've ever dreamed of living a life of Financial and personal freedom you owe it to yourself and your family to tune into the saving whiskey show join me Steve Sexton on a saving with Steve show as we talked about everything under the sun when it comes to money to learn more about the show visit saving with Steve. Us that's saving with Steve. Us saving with Steve. Us will see you soon<br> welcome back to the show that is here to help you achieve your financial goals it's the saving with Steve show host Steve Sexton talk about the ins-and-outs of money I just want to thank you for joining us tuning in appreciate you sharing this with your friends and family all the replacer available at saving with Steve. You asked if you're enjoying the story of helpful information and inside I'm saving this deep then I encourage you to scribe to our YouTube channel Spotify Channel Google Play Channel and check out a few of our fuel is it UK help radio BBS Radio AM FM 247 talk radio New York City e360 TV dedicated to empowering you to solve problems uplift your spirit and live a life of personal financial Freedom you can also check us out at Facebook it's even with Steve Sax and you can check out the Insiders Club guest gifts by the way the beautiful one in baking company called for B's at New Hampshire all-natural cookies Kik<br> what's the holeshot there's a special discount used to go to the website you'll see it right there at saving it's called SW X20 you going to get 20% off now we just want to talk about things we want to do before the end of the year to make sure our money moves her set first of all just real quick do you want to check where you stand this means we're Mayan with my budget how much am I saving did I save enough for that down payment on the house and kids education my daughter's wedding where do we stand with that how do I keep with my budget for the key here is you want to be brutally honest with your girls hate you did make it don't be too hard on yourself especially if you're close and then you want to make sure all your financial accounts are up-to-date that means hey if it's supposed to have a trust as the the owner of it so it can you do yours in your wife you want to make sure the beneficiary stir up today you want to make sure everything's up to date when it comes to the finances especially the financial account the next thing is you want to look at things like in my meeting was your today deadlines for example you can contribute to an IRA all the way<br> until you file your tax return the name from OK Google long as you have an account that you set up in 2022 you can contribute to always roof April 18th and 2023 are you fully contributing to your 401k if you don't need the money and you have the bill to contribute more towards his last portion of the year in your 401k do it why because retirements and accumulation sport the more you keep me late now the earlier you have an option to stop working which could make for a longer more lasting less stressful life everything is double check that you're making most of your money this is the time to check those budget everybody has those situations were done the Deborah thing where you sign up for all the sudden you got charged in 30 days whether you use it or not if you're not using it get rid of it looking for ways to reduce eliminate expenses there's a number of different internet provider is the number of the cable programs you know what we were able to reduce our cable by over $100 just by eliminating a lot of the cable programs going down to the internet service and then adding ly TV along with a couple<br> streaming sites you can do things like that you can use your change your cellphone provider lot of times I'll give you a free phone but you can do it at a lower cost and get the same service cuz they're on the same network you just got to read into it to make sure you know what you're getting this is a great time to look at my Auto Insurance homeowner's insurance and all those things to make sure you have the best rates look at everything you do to find a way to reduce eliminate expensive but keep doing the things that you love to do next start setting some goals for the new year hey how much do you want to say were you looking to have your accounts at it's really important to have somebody help you look at that to make sure you're on track somebody say hey we're right where we at you maybe need to do this and you know what this is a great time to look at those Investments especially if you're a few years away from retirement with the market going crazy where it is if it would go down 20 30 more percent you might be working for a few years more than you thought if you are retirement the first three or four years or 30%<br> it might be one of the things that pushes you back into work or have to reduce your lifestyle in retirement you don't want to do that I want to thank you all for joining us right here on saving with Steve look forward to seeing you next week we're going to give you a best advice to help you retiresmart see you then bye bye thank you for joining us for the saving with Steve show hosted by Steve Sexton to learn more about the show and how to become a guest or sponsor visit saving with Steve. Us that saving with Steve. Us join us again next time as we continue to talk about everything under the sun that relates to you having a healthier a relationship with money this has been the saving with Steve show hosted by Steve Sexton<br> everyone has their own unique views and need when it comes to financial success if you'd like to leave your financial woes behind and live a life of Financial Freedom you've come to the right place today saving with Steve show hosted by Steve Sexton the show will help you with the ins and outs of money we talked about financial issues that could be costing you thousands of dollars and keeping you up at night we talked about money tax reduction saving more spending less 401K risk management retirement and everything under the sun that relates to you having a healthy relationship with money now here is your host of saving with Steve Steve Sexton relate to you having a happier healthy relationship with money I would do you want to thank you for doing this today our listeners just exceeded seven hundred thousands were very very excited so thank you for sharing this with your friends and family<br> we've got something special for you today we have a very interesting topic but you know it in the question is should you date your coworker best friend according to recent polls from the society for human resource management a whopping 33% of American workers are or have been involved themselves in a professional relationship with interesting is an impressive 75% of the US workers are essentially cool with co-workers getting together now embarking on a relationship with a co-worker involves navigating potential risk it can significantly impact your professional standing you know what are the positive what are the negatives of Jaden your coworker best friend we have this wonderful book is called captured by love to author's first one is Colonel Ali else besides being a sought-after leadership coach through his leadership firm leadership Freedom firm he's a former Top Gun pilot that was shot down in Vietnam is a p o w we have Greg godek was a best-selling author and romance expert in fact he has eight<br> books and the here to talk to us we have Greg Greg thanks for joining us today thank you thank you for joining us today I know our listeners are just looking forward to this big-time let's just get started with talking about how the idea came out to the book I think Lee's background has something to do with it as well so I'm going to let it go ahead just let you two going well this all started with lately I'm kind of brought in a little bit later but yeah he was a Vietnam and pilot was shot down over Hanoi spent five years in a prisoner-of-war camp in about a more than 500 because a lot of them died but we're talking about a group of these are not your average guy these are Top Gun Pilots I mean just think Tom Cruise okay thank you The Stereotype are these are tough as nails.<br> and they were top of the world I mean these guys just like flew these checks in there and women love them and they were all of that and and these were guys who were true Patriots I mean they were professional Warriors they wanted to go to war as they truly believe that you know they were helping save the world from communism you remember the Domino Theory you know back decades ago of them to survive I mean survive Orchard and and and unbelievably she realized later that those same skills that kept them alive for the same skills that you need to create a great loving relationship when I first heard that it was like this<br> green crap he was like what in the world are you talkin about and take a look at it it makes perfect sense and everyone was communication if they weren't able to see each other was critically important men aren't exactly known for being the best communicators are they tell you that these guys were very much try to keep them separated actually was this one fellow who knew what they call the tap code which is a different version kind of a simplified version of Morse code and they would tap against walls and they spread from one guy for like 500 was Prisoner and they were in that exactly<br> communicating and not just knocking on wall when they would be sweeping in the courtyard they would be communicating they would communicate by blinking I mean it's just a stunning amazing they learn to trust each other having empathy for each other taking care of each other and being humble for here okay right but they were crushed down and and every one of them were tortured to the point where they broke down and gave some information to the enemy in the most of it was meaningless information but these guys but it was a point broke down they all felt horrible guilt for letting down the country and every single one of them they would communicate with the guys in the cell next door the message from the other guys was always I wrote down<br> we all do feel guilty for a few hours get over it and move on and there's another thing I mean guys aren't exactly comfortable with being humble and then over the past 50 years and I don't know if you know that this year is the 20th anniversary of the end of the Vietnam War this is when they were all released and then these guys have had annual reunions and you know as I said you know if these various events near look around and take him over there he's been married for 37 years and helped us survive<br> use Pandora Weiser widows and I interviewed all of them and I have to tell you it was one of the most amazing experiences in my life between 78 and 92 for a while we're talking among these folks more than a thousand years of happy marriages and so the question is play what might we have to learn from these folks and so are in the writing of the book the book is in every story their stories and each one is in two part part of it is the guys experiences in Vietnam and then coming home and they're they're loving relationships and what we ended up saying part of the title I was with all of these guys were captured twice once by force and once bylaws and intertwining of it is amazing<br> our stories are horrifying their stories are different and and and<br> more expert advice for having a happier relationship with money still to come on the saving with Steve show<br> don't let your financial woes keep you up at night and prevent you from living a life of Financial and personal freedom hi I'm Steve Sexton post of the saving with Steve show where did he talk about the ins-and-outs of money those financial issues that could be costing me thousands of dollars causing stress keeping you up at night we're going to talk about money tax reduction saving more spending your investment risk management retirement and everything is so she ate it with you having a healthier happy relationship with money so if you've ever dreamed of living a life of Financial and personal freedom you owe it to yourself and your family to tune in to the saving with Steve show join me Steve section of the saving with Steve show as we talked about everything under the sun when it comes to money to learn more about the show visit saving with Steve. Us that saving was Steve. Us saving with Steve. Us will see you soon<br> welcome back to the show that is here to help you achieve your financial goals it's the saving with Steve show host Steve Sexton<br> hey welcome back to the shaving with Steve shovel we talk about the ins-and-outs of money but today we're going to be talking about something different we've got Greg godak here he's a co-author of captured by love along with Colonel Lee Ellis has a p o w and Top Gun pilot and you know what they were talking about you know should you take your coworker best friend has to consider and you know what with that lie I know there's<br> I'd be very candid I'm at my wife in the workplace and we've been married for over 25 years you know happy can be loved it the whole shot but I also saw people in the workforce that it didn't go very well and that caused a lot of problems with her to be their status at the company the interaction with colleagues if things didn't end well there was a trust broken between the people who knew them all that kind of stuff so I was wondering if you could just kind of walk us through the benefits of gaining The Backs with the lookout for all that kind of good stuff. My listeners would really like to hear this is complex stuff there's there's not a formula for that and I'm so so<br> everybody has to really realize that you know it's their unique personality combined with unique personality of the dating partner and then the environment of work okay so this is not this is not simple stuff<br> back when I was in my late twenties I dated a woman that was in a dark space you know the first one is out of the way you know in terms of hierarchy the finger really be careful out of it is if you're dating a supervisor someone who's as a management position because<br> that's really dangerous I would stay away from that all together. Having said that you know low low overcome almost anything logic and what's best for me you know it's like if I fall in love you fall in love it's like<br> it really it really takes over and and so one big backers maturity the more you understand yourself and and and and and you know that the less you're dripping by emotions the better off you'll be because when you do get together the emotions are going to be very strong and so you know<br> and in my relationship with Cassie I think I can name her there's a lot of Cassie's out there right<br> we we not only were on the same level we didn't work in the same department and I think that's a lot safer cuz if you're on the same team as you mention like the Dynamics in a team in it and a very complicated having said all that you know I would do it again and I think that it's oh oh I never heard talk about exactly in in in this context here but let me tell you something it is impossible<br> to hide a relationship for very you I don't care if you're the best actor in the world and you're not that I'm just remember I love you and I'm thinking of you know I we spent the night together and then we'd walked you know into in cord work and then if I got hold back so that we wouldn't arrive in the same we thought we were so clever but you know later turned out unit one of my good buddy said Oh my God everybody's know this for you for months we're actually I was a senior executive and she works at a different department in the training area and I actually threw out the first pitch at daughter's Dodger Stadium at night and she actually had tickets in another part of the stadium in the person that I was hanging with want to do with his friends and we were sitting at right behind home plate so I called her and said hey come on down<br> and we every time the TV show. We are eating popcorn and everybody has love stories like that like that<br> not sure if I have anything else to say dating dating at work you'd also asked about dating best friends I would say go for it. It's a very different situation then then then work relationships now I know the concern is we have a great friendship are very close we share a lot of things go on if we let ourselves go and fall in love and take action on it that might ruin the Friendship okay it's always an issue and you just don't know why I have friends and colleagues for made it work and about to fall in love got married happy I've had some.<br> Dated a year broken up and it feels like but I know but people Gander but I mean this is what we do is we we gamble with our feelings and our relationships and and and it's a rest is it you know opening yourself up being intimate with someone else my opinion this is just okay<br> I would say go for it<br> yeah there's a risk but goodness it's all a risk and it's basis for a long-term relationship is starting with friendship or some kind of other connection other than love first year of comic buddies and and some communication that precedes the the love love you know where is if you start start with log<br> which that's okay man I do believe in love at first sight you know Romeo and Juliet and it can be real and it can last for a lifetime can the operative word here<br>let me ask you this when it comes to you know the acrimonious breakups and workplace best friend wise you know what is there a best way to approach that something to eat with the best way you know from your opinion from what you've seen to move forward with the old people breaking up cuz you know there's a lot of people that work very long hours in the workforce and quite frankly I was one of those people but I didn't never dated anybody before in the workforce other than my wife so it was kind of one of those things the first time I met her I knew that was the one and everything else with I forgot about after that so speak so but I've seen people in the workforce even this is senior manager where you know what regardless of what happens to break up and even within a group there's there's a different Dynamic that takes place where there you know what if they're friends<br> that other person even those are different apartment so is there a good way to deal with that how to handle that<br> Good Golly thanks for the easy question because everybody's personality is so different but again I think it comes down to maturity in love and if we stay mature about the whole situation and maturity involve controlling your emotions and not you're not letting it get out of hand but here's the other thing so we're talking about somebody that I have been in love with okay now we break up okay usually you don't hate each other it just it doesn't work out okay<br> if I really loved her I still would want what's best for her<br> in the end that two times but next time I love with maturity lot of people aren't all that mature sorry you know to make that work you got to be mature you can't sit there and meetings and and make snide comments and like you know didn't leave veiled insults you know<br>like I said you're taking a risk and part of being sure about is going into it knowing if there's going to be some rest<br> comparing High School dating with being an adult and the challenge was bigger in high school because you avoid each other you're in the same history class you're walking down the hall and you're there for 6 hours a day<br> even at work there's more possibility for avoiding each other and you don't get coffee at the same time and and and so on so forth and I mean really think that we were immature in high school and we were forced to deal with it and and I remember dealing with that and you know I had three girlfriends in high school and and I always went steady I was one of those I'm serious about relationships I always have that never skated around I'm so with you no more years in high school and and I do remember all my God I'm going to have to see her and so a week in a week none of us had the tools if we didn't know as many communication skills and in the end<br> importance of listening in there may be important and just a maturity to deal with all that I I don't know I'm glad I got out of it alive but I'd like to do now is I know the book just came out working people find it cuz I know many of the people are listening with would be interested in acquiring the book so it again and it's called castra by love and in trying to romance stories from a Vietnam pows it's in paper back in her back right now is that correct and it just came out in May right Iraq May 30th ran two were drinking the first on your block<br> it's a working people go go find a book almost anywhere it's up on Amazon and the major bookstores and not sure about the smaller bookstores yet cuz it's been to New making its way out there but after a week it's already and Amazon best-seller so we are thankful I can. We just you know there's so much that people can learn from this and it's such a unique take on relationships you know we're not serapis without reaching we're telling these genuine real heartwarming stories is the guy that you know after seven years away from his wife and he called for the first time when long-distance was really long distance you know<br> the first words he said to his wife where my Jane is Tarzan<br> and she knew incident cuz that was a private joke between the two of them and that's one of those about really good loving couple of days they have eyes that that are way more subtle and intimate and private but nobody else knows what that means but there's a whole backstory to that thank you for joining us today and this has been wonderful I've had a blast I know where listeners are going to have a blast and you know everybody I see that I was just checking this out you can go find captured by love on Amazon inspiring inspiring romance stories you wanted to take a look at that we will have the link up on our website here and you know what that Greg I want to say thank you so much you have a safe day and we'll look for the DLC another book does daycare<br> and come right back with some more shaving Steve so stick with us<br> more expert advice for having a happier relationship with money still to come on the saving with Steve show<br> don't let your financial woes keep you up at night and prevent you from living a life of Financial and personal freedom hi I'm Steve Sexton post of the saving with Steve show where did he talk about the in an ounce of money those financial issues that could be costing me thousands of dollars causing stress keeping you up at night we're going to talk about money tax reduction saving more spending your investment risk management retirement and everything is posted with you having a healthier happy relationship with money soon as you've ever dreamed of living a life of Financial and personal freedom you owe it to yourself and your family to tune in to the saving with Steve show join me Steve sex another saving with Steve show as we talked about everything under the sun when it comes to money to learn more about the show visit saving with Steve. Us that's saving with Steve. Us saving with Steve. Us will see you soon<br> welcome back to the show that is here to help you achieve your financial goals it's the saving with Steve show now here's your host Steve Sexton they welcome back to saving with Steve show you what I wanted to talk to you about the most recent retirement confidence survey one of the interesting things that I see about this is the fact that many people have real concerns in the reason why I'm bring it up to you when we get information from folks all the time and you know what we share some of the money minute segment when I get something like this I feel a need to share it with everybody because it's affecting people you know what<br> it is one of those situations where<br>do you have people who worked very very very hard all their lives and saved in there just about to retire are retired and they're seeing all the stuff coming on they saw the reduction in 2022 here we are in 2023 we saw the debt-ceiling we know that there's issues with real estate where people are pain in your companies are paying interest only loan that to and 3% now they're going to go up to 78 people are predicting real estate issues we're starting to see layoffs were certain to see all sorts of stuff and you know what this is you know these numbers are concerning people so we're going to have this study for you on our website that sitting with Steve. Us so you can check it out but what it's saying is 67%<br> retirees are concerned that the increased cost of living will make it harder for them to save money<br> 50% report overall spending is higher than expected and you know what it's probably going to stay there cuz if you think about inflation you got you know what it was in 2021 it was 7% 2022 6.5 2023 35% and depending on what happens with the Fed rate next week we might be seeing it go up or we might see it go down a little bit we'll have to see what happens with the Federate next 58 report that retirement balances has decreased in the last 12 months and if you look at that November 2021 is when the market was it the Top If you just take the S&P 500 it was at 4810 it's 4200 out and it's still lower than where it was and that means people haven't learned anything for 2 years<br> and they're still taking out money which means they're grinding away at their principal 33 or not common at their money will be able to keep them keep up with inflation and retirement it's a big concern are concerned that they will have to make substantial Cuts their spending due to inflation these are serious things that everybody out there you know what if you feel concerned about these things I would like to talk to somebody you know what go to the website will be more than happy to have a discussion with you work with you too you know I hate reduce eliminate taxes show you how to keep your account balances intact not just for 10 years with 10 year 23 years down the road you know what that's what we're here for I want to thank you all for joining us today and I wish you to be safe and healthy and I will look forward to seeing you next week we had a wonderful time with Greg godek here with their book it was just wonderful that stories about romance and love again you can go<br> Amazon and get the capture by Love Inspired romance stories look forward to seeing you next weekend. Save me a seat talk to you then bye bye thank you for joining us for the saving with Steve show hosted by Steve Sexton to learn more about the show and how to become a guest or sponsor visit saving with Steve. Us that's saving with Steve. Us join us again next time as we continue to talk about everything under the sun that relates to you having a healthier happier relationship with money this has been the saving with Steve show hosted by Steve Sexton<br>