Thirty-Nine Common Sense Aphorisms from Planet Annett
Humbly offered by Kevin and his father Bill
1. The universe is ambiguous.
2. Reality is what you experience when you’re looking for something else.
3. Religion is for atheists.
4. God Talk is for rumor mongers.
5. Christianity is what stops the poor from killing the rich, but it’s not reciprocal.
6. The meek shall inherit the shit.
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7. People who search for meaning have usually misplaced it.
8. Human nature is whatever works.
9. The meaning of life is up to you.
10. The human race is stuck at the starting line.
11. The thoughts of a declining culture tend towards mysticism and unreason.
12. People who want everything positive forget that you can’t have a live current without the negative.
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13. Love is what’s left over after ecstasy departs.
14. Morality is what the winner prescribes to the loser.
15. Justice is in the hands of the gun holder.
16. Tragedy is just laughter waiting to happen.
17. Talking is what happens when nothing else has worked.
18. Mediocrity expands to fill a void.
19. Cowards make a virtue of their own ass.
20. Apologies are for apologists.
21. Life is a farce, playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
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22. Whoever is Number One got there by wading in lots of Number Two.
23. You can’t make a living by making a killing.
24. Nothing beats working like not working.
25. Your best teacher is your last mistake.
26. People who don’t look past their own nose end up being led around by it.
27. Free Speech exists only when you practice it.
28. Censorship is the gag we already donned.
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29. Voting only encourages them.
30. Democracy sounds like a wonderful idea. Somebody should try it sometime.
31. Politicians are our worst impulses made flesh.
32. Representative democracy is a contradictory term.
33. A criminal is someone with predatory instincts who lacks the capital to form a corporation.
34. America is a good intention fallen among Americans.
35. Canada is like mashed potatoes without the gravy.
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36. Your friends are imaginary. Your enemies are real.
37. Never trust a thought you had sitting in a chair.
38. Never trust someone who is always smiling.
39. Own yourself and you need own nothing else.
And of course ...
