Divorce, Money, and the Next Chapter: Building Financial Clarity Through Life’s Biggest Transition

Speaker Identification

Speaker 1 – Steve Sexton, Host. The transcript explicitly identifies Steve Sexton as the host in the opening, repeated show promotions, and closing.

Speaker 2 – Leah Hadley, Guest. Steve explicitly introduces Leah Hadley and addresses her by name throughout the interview. Later transcription variants such as “Lee,” “Marley A. Hadley,” and “Lee Haverly” were corrected to Leah Hadley because the identity is clear from the surrounding transcript.

Speaker 3 – Announcer / Prerecorded Promotional Voice(s). This label is used for recurring prerecorded show identifications, promotional segments, and return-from-break announcements. Some of these prerecorded segments include Steve Sexton identifying himself, but they are grouped under one promotional-voice label for readability and consistency.

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Speaker 3 – Announcer / Prerecorded Promotional Voice(s):
Everyone has their own unique views and needs when it comes to financial success. If you'd like to leave your financial woes behind and live a life of financial freedom, you've come to the right place.

Welcome to The Saving With Steve Show, hosted by Steve Sexton. The show will help you with the ins and outs of money. We talk about financial issues that could be costing you thousands of dollars and keeping you up at night. We talk about money, tax reduction, saving more, spending less, 401(k)s, risk management, retirement, and everything under the sun that relates to you having a healthier, happier relationship with money.

Now, here is your host of The Saving With Steve Show, Steve Sexton.

Speaker 1 – Steve Sexton:
Welcome to The Saving With Steve Show, where we talk about the ins and outs of money — pretty much everything under the sun that relates to you having a happy, healthy relationship with money. My name is Steve Sexton. I want to thank you for joining us today.

One of the biggest things we're going to be dealing with today — and this is a really big topic — is divorce. U.S. divorce rates are approximately 2.3 to 2.4 people per thousand people living. Think about that. That's 673,000 people who got divorced last year. Forty to 42% of first marriages are projected to end in divorce. Gray-divorce trends are even higher, as much as 60%. The average duration of a marriage is 8.2 years. It turns out the state of California has the highest proportion of marriages ending in divorce, at 60%. It's insane.

But the big thing we want to pay attention to is that there are emotional and financial things you need to be prepared for and thinking about. That's the reason we have Leah Hadley here today. She's the founder and senior wealth advisor for Intentional Wealth Partners and Intentional Wealth Solutions. She has 20 years of experience in financial services. She specializes specifically in helping women navigate divorce and major life transformations with clarity and confidence, which is helpful.

Leah draws her experience not only from the professional side, but she's lived it. You get that compassion. Her new book, Intentional Money, is a practical guide designed to help women take control of their finances and build long-lasting independence.

Leah, thank you for joining us today. I really appreciate you being here.

Speaker 2 – Leah Hadley:
It is my pleasure to be here, Steve. Thanks for having me.

Speaker 1 – Steve Sexton:
I've got to start with this. Tell us about your journey. I know you went through divorce. Why did helping women navigate divorce and major life transitions become your passion?

Speaker 2 – Leah Hadley:
It's interesting. The more I share my own story, the more I realize it started much sooner than I realized. My own parents went through their divorce when I was eight years old, and so I was raised by a single mom. Divorce wasn't as common back then as it is today, but I had experience growing up with a family where I had half-siblings and all of those challenges that people talk more openly about now because it's more common today. It just wasn't as common back then.

My journey started then, but I became a teacher. I was teaching for Baltimore City Public Schools. Steve, I was burned out in the classroom. I was drowning in student-loan debt, and I decided I just needed to figure out what I was going to do with my life. I took a temp job that happened to be at an investment bank, and I was very fortunate at that investment bank.

When I walked in that first day, I thought everybody around me was speaking a foreign language. I truly did not understand what they were talking about. I had no idea there was a language around wealth creation, around the preservation of wealth, and a whole industry built around it. It was completely unfamiliar to me. Here I was, somebody who had a master's degree, who had started her career, walking into this place and realizing that there was this whole language I needed to learn. That was a really eye-opening experience for me.

I spent almost 10 years in equity research before I became a financial advisor. When I was working as a financial advisor, that's when I went through my own divorce. That is when I realized that it didn't matter what level of highly complex financial work I was capable of doing. When you feel like your whole life is unraveling and you don't know what that next chapter looks like — and for me, my kids were young; I had three young children at the time — all of a sudden the financial decisions feel insurmountable.

As a financial professional, if that's the experience I was having, I think it's really important for us to normalize the fact that when you're going through this huge change, it doesn't matter what your background or experience is. A lot is changing. There's a lot in motion, and you're dealing with the complexity of the grieving process. Whether you're feeling a lot of anger in that moment or you're in denial and don't want to deal with it, wherever you are in that stage, it really clouds your judgment. That was what inspired and motivated me to focus my work on supporting families through the divorce process.

Speaker 1 – Steve Sexton:
I was just thinking, when you say that you're really overwhelmed, I've seen some of our blogs and emails where people have said, “I'm this or that executive at this company, and when this hit, I felt like the biggest deer in the headlights.” I felt like it was time to jump toward that car, like a deer does.

Speaker 2 – Leah Hadley:
I think people would be surprised how many divorce attorneys hire folks like me to support them in their own divorce cases. It's exactly that. You may have all of the expertise in a particular area, but when it's your own life and it's really personal, and every decision you're going to make impacts not just your day-to-day life but your long term, it's just a different conversation.

Speaker 1 – Steve Sexton:
Oh, yeah. Totally, totally, totally. Thank you for sharing that. That's wonderful.

We've talked a little bit about your journey, but let's talk more about the emotional impact. Somebody says, “I've had enough. It's time for divorce.” When somebody starts from that emotional decision with their partner, then it's like, “Okay, how do I tell the kids? What's all that?”

Speaker 2 – Leah Hadley:
I think one of the trickiest things around terminating a marriage is the fact that most people are processing on different timelines. One person tends to be the person who's going to ask for the divorce. That person has probably been thinking about it, unless there was a very specific event that led to the decision. It could be months. It could be years. Steve, sometimes people literally reach out to us years in advance in order to prepare so they can feel confident financially on the other side.

For the person on the receiving end of that information, it depends on the nature of the relationship and whether or not they really realized that's where things were headed. One of the first things people are really challenged with, of course, is communicating to their spouse that this is how they'd like to proceed, but then dealing with what comes next.

What comes next is going to vary widely based on where people are in terms of processing this transition. If somebody is really surprised and very triggered by this information, they may be lashing out. Some people may be in a situation of, “Wait, maybe we can still figure this out. Maybe we can still work this out,” which is very, very common. Suddenly, behavior starts to change. There is a lot of complexity that goes into those emotions around just having that conversation and what comes next, and a lot of that is connected to what led to that conversation.

For some people — and I always, always, always encourage this — even if you're not trying to reconcile the marriage, consider couples counseling for a period of time. First and foremost, we'd love to see if you can reconcile. That's fantastic. But just developing those communication skills to get through this next stage is incredibly empowering.

Speaker 1 – Steve Sexton:
I was just reading something, and I won't go into the celebrity, but one celebrity married somebody who was in another country. When they got divorced, they did counseling, and they actually agreed not to say anything negative about each other in front of the kids, in the news, or anything like that, to create a positive relationship for those kids so they wouldn't have issues with either parent.

And it doesn't always go that way.

Speaker 2 – Leah Hadley:
Of course not. But I think it's really helpful for each parent to think about what kind of relationship you want your kids to have with the other parent. For most people, when we take a step back and think about what kind of relationship you want your kids to have with their mom or with their dad, that becomes a different conversation than coming out of this space of anger or whatever may have led to the divorce.

Speaker 1 – Steve Sexton:
I think that's wonderful. You also have to tell family. I've probably got a hundred questions like, “How do I tell family?”

Speaker 2 – Leah Hadley:
I think this is a really important question. You want to be thoughtful and mindful, but I think you also want to recognize the family you come from and the family you married into, and how those relationships may change.

I'm very fortunate. My former mother-in-law still reaches out with love and is such a joy in my life, and I'm very grateful for her. I know a lot of people don't have that experience. I know my own mom was incredibly supportive of my ex-husband when she was alive. That was so valuable for our family and for our kids to know that, hey, we are all still a family. Things may not have worked out between Mom and Dad in the way we had hoped. Our relationship change doesn't change the way we love each other and our family.

But the reality is you're dealing with all kinds of personalities when people are going through these changes, and you're dealing with all kinds of baggage — things that may have happened in the past that are suddenly potentially being triggered by this transition.

We always encourage people to tell people and be honest, but be very limited in the amount of information they're providing. You can say, “Yes, there is a change happening, but I'm not ready to talk about it right now,” or, “I'd like to keep the details personal,” or something along those lines, to stop people from really digging into the conversation.

One of the things that's incredibly important is that a lot of times people get other people's thoughts or opinions in their ear, and that can really blow up a divorce case. The more you can stay grounded and focused on what matters to you and your immediate family, and let the noise go, the more level-headed you'll be when making these decisions.

Speaker 1 – Steve Sexton:
I was just going to say, I have a family member who went through divorce many, many years ago. I was actually working overseas at the time, and I was talking to my family member. She was telling me what was going on, and what was really interesting was that she was all tied up about telling my folks.

My folks are still alive. They're 89. They've been married for almost 70 years — 65 years plus. It's one of those things where you come from an area where people don't get divorced, just like you were talking about with your parents. She was very worried about what the reaction would be. I was worried about what the reaction would be just because of the way I grew up, in a strong Catholic family and all that kind of stuff.

As soon as she said what was going on, he goes, “What do you need from me?” Boom. All over with.

Like you said, she actually took care of many of her ex-husband's family members when they were having health issues — his mom, the whole shot. She was very connected with the whole family, and she was part of the glue that kept the whole family together, even though her ex was kind of the person on the outside. It was very, very cool.

Folks, stick with us. We're going to be right back. We're going to get some great stuff here with Leah.

Speaker 3 – Announcer / Prerecorded Promotional Voice(s):
More expert advice for having a happier relationship with money is still to come on The Saving With Steve Show.

Don't let your financial woes keep you up at night and prevent you from living a life of financial and personal freedom. Hi, I'm Steve Sexton, host of The Saving With Steve Show. We're going to be talking about the ins and outs of money — those financial issues that could be costing you thousands of dollars, causing stress, and keeping you up at night.

We're going to talk about money, tax reduction, saving more, spending less, your investments, risk management, retirement, and everything associated with you having a healthier, happier relationship with money. So, if you've ever dreamed of living a life of financial and personal freedom, you owe it to yourself and your family to tune in to The Saving With Steve Show.

Join me, Steve Sexton, on The Saving With Steve Show as we talk about everything under the sun when it comes to money. To learn more about the show, visit savingwithsteve.us. That's savingwithsteve.us, savingwithsteve.us. We'll see you soon.

Welcome back to the show that is here to help you achieve your financial goals. It's The Saving With Steve Show. Now here's your host, Steve Sexton.

Speaker 1 – Steve Sexton:
Hey, folks. Welcome back to The Saving With Steve Show, where we talk about the ins and outs of money. We're getting right back here with Leah. Let's start talking about the financial impact of divorce. This is a biggie because, at the end of the day, once that relationship is over, it's about money. So let's start talking about money.

Speaker 2 – Leah Hadley:
Absolutely.

Speaker 1 – Steve Sexton:
Let's first talk about what people are realistically looking at here.

Speaker 2 – Leah Hadley:
It's really interesting to look at the finances. We see everything under the sun. I mean, really, truly. We see extremely high-income earners with very, very few assets and significant debt, and we see those with modest means who have done a really fantastic job of saving.

The people who are going to have the biggest challenge from a financial perspective coming out of divorce are those who are already spending beyond their means. If you have one or two incomes supporting one household and you're already stretched, then trying to support an additional household on the same level of income is going to feel very, very challenging. That's reality.

If you've been living well below your means and you've been a good saver, it's just not as difficult because you have the liquid assets to smooth things out and make things a little easier. So, first and foremost, let's be realistic about what your current situation is.

If you had already gotten into a house where you could barely afford the mortgage as a couple, it's going to be very challenging to retain that house in your divorce settlement. One of the most common mistakes people make when they're negotiating their assets is that they're really focused on their current discomfort: “How can I ease the discomfort in the moment?” They're not thinking about the fact that divorce can be the largest financial transaction you'll experience in your life. Most people don't look at it that way.

There are a lot of moving pieces, and for a lot of people, that absolutely is the case. We need to make sure we're thinking about it as a financial transaction and creating a strong financial foundation for ourselves moving forward. That means having savings. That means eliminating high-interest debt. That means having those basics in place. If they didn't exist before the divorce, they're going to be harder to come by after. That's reality.

Speaker 1 – Steve Sexton:
Wow. I never thought of it that way because I've come across a lot of people — and you probably have in your practice — who have high incomes, whether they're doctors, lawyers, or whatever, and they just keep spending it all. There's nothing there other than, like you said, high debt and very few assets. Even if they sell the house, there's not much left over. It's very, very problematic.

Let's also talk about preparing to deal with the emotional side. You're going through divorce. Emotional things come up. Nobody is that stoic person the whole time, and there are triggers and all that stuff. You've been through it, and you've probably dealt with people who have had emotional events in your office just going through it, and it isn't about the money.

What are the things that are normal? I'll say this because it's funny. When my wife was in this mothers-with-preschoolers program, they would go to the park and the kids would all play. One mom goes, “I think my son's crazy. He's eating crayons.” They're like, “Oh, no big deal. My kid does that too.” And then they're like, “Oh, he's normal.”

So let's help everybody feel a little bit normal. When you're working and trying to get through this, what are the emotional things you're dealing with on a day-to-day or week-to-week basis that people just need to know are normal?

Speaker 2 – Leah Hadley:
There's so much. We have a divorce coach on the team. Her name is Lee Sol. She's absolutely wonderful. One of the things she's always telling people is to keep in mind that fear is unanswered questions.

It is completely normal to feel fearful about the divorce itself, about the actual divorce process, and certainly about what life looks like on the other side. That is completely and totally normal. As Lee Sol says, that tends to be unanswered questions.

What I really encourage people to do, Steve, is just get a piece of paper out and brain-dump. What are all those things swimming around in your mind? “Where am I going to live? How am I going to be able to provide for my children? What happens if I outlive my money?” For those who are divorcing later in life, that is a very big concern — potentially not being able to live the rest of their lives on their settlement and having to re-enter the workforce in their 60s or 70s. That's a very real concern.

We want to get those fears out of your head and onto paper so we can really start to address the questions you have. For a lot of people, that has to do with cash flow, and financial planning can be incredibly clarifying, as you well know.

If your concern is, “Am I going to be able to pay the bills?” let's actually dig into the numbers and answer that question. Honestly, Steve, you may find that you have financial commitments you're not going to be able to maintain based on the change in your life. I've certainly seen people having to get out of high car payments, for example.

We want to keep those fixed expenses lower when we're going through a life transition like this, to have some flexibility. The higher those fixed expenses are — the more money we have committed every month — the less freedom and flexibility you have as that budget is evolving.

It's very, very common for people to plan from a budgeting perspective based on what life was like prior to the divorce. I really encourage people to start building up from, “What do I want my life to look like?” rather than, “What did my life look like?” What do I really want to take ownership of going forward? Let's build up the numbers from there.

It's actually a really empowering way to do it, but it also addresses the fact that a lot of times people are really grieving the changes in that lifestyle. When all we're doing is focusing on taking things out, that can be a process that feels very draining. But when we're looking at it as creating a life and building the numbers from something that feels empowering, it's a totally different experience.

Speaker 1 – Steve Sexton:
I was just thinking about what you said. The whole focus is that you can eliminate a lot of the fear and anxiety if you start planning for the life you want to lead afterward, and then start budgeting toward that, knowing that you had two incomes before. It might not be this high anymore, but it might be down here, and you can build back up to that high point, provided you have a solid plan to figure out what you need to do to get where you want to go.

Speaker 2 – Leah Hadley:
And part of it is really unpacking the fears. Years ago, I was working with a couple whose sole priority was to keep their kids in the school they were in. But the house they were living in was just not going to be affordable for either one of them. It was an unrealistic situation.

When we started working together, they were so focused on, “How are we going to keep this house?” that that's all they could consider. That's all they were looking at. But when we really dug into why the house actually mattered, it wasn't the house that mattered. It was the school for the kids in their specific situation.

Okay, well, there are a lot of solutions to solve for that particular issue. That allowed us to have creativity. When we start to really unpack the fear and see where it's coming from, it allows us to open our minds to other solutions that may solve for the issue.

Speaker 1 – Steve Sexton:
So it really is getting down to the whys — the whys, the whys, the whys — and then you're there. Perfect.

What you're really saying is that you can eliminate a lot of that fear if you get down to: Why is this important? Why is this important? Keep going down. What is the base thing there that makes everything work for both of you?

Speaker 2 – Leah Hadley:
Absolutely. And that's just getting answers to your questions. Don't leave them sitting like an open tab in your mind. If I'm really worried about whether or not I can refinance the house in my name, let's get you connected with a lender who's going to walk you through those numbers, and let's be realistic. Let's not guess.

Speaker 1 – Steve Sexton:
Perfect, perfect, perfect.

Folks, we've been talking about the financial side of it. In the next part, we're going to be talking about attorneys and what to look for. Leah is not an attorney, so she's not going to give you legal advice, but she's got a lot of experience in this. She's going to say, “Here's what you want to think about. Here's who you want to communicate with.”

Stick with us. We're going to be right back with Leah Hadley.

Speaker 3 – Announcer / Prerecorded Promotional Voice(s):
More expert advice for having a happier relationship with money is still to come on The Saving With Steve Show.

Don't let your financial woes keep you up at night and prevent you from living a life of financial and personal freedom. Hi, I'm Steve Sexton, host of The Saving With Steve Show. We're going to be talking about the ins and outs of money — those financial issues that could be costing you thousands of dollars, causing stress, and keeping you up at night.

We're going to talk about money, tax reduction, saving more, spending less, your investments, risk management, retirement, and everything associated with you having a healthier, happier relationship with money. So, if you've ever dreamed of living a life of financial and personal freedom, you owe it to yourself and your family to tune in to The Saving With Steve Show.

Join me, Steve Sexton, on The Saving With Steve Show as we talk about everything under the sun when it comes to money. To learn more about the show, visit savingwithsteve.us. That's savingwithsteve.us, savingwithsteve.us. We'll see you soon.

Welcome back to the show that is here to help you achieve your financial goals. It's The Saving With Steve Show. Now here's your host, Steve Sexton.

Speaker 1 – Steve Sexton:
Check out a few of our affiliates at UK Health Radio, BBS Radio, Talk Radio New York City, E360 TV, and Las Vegas TV networks. All these networks are dedicated to empowering you to solve problems, uplift your spirit, and live a life of personal and financial freedom.

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Let's get back to Leah Hadley. We're going to start talking about attorneys. Not the ones you see on TV chasing ambulances and stuff like that. We're talking about the ones that help people through divorce.

Now, a statistic says the cost of a divorce averages about $15,000. That's probably pretty cheap. I'm not quite sure. But I think the important thing is to find the right attorney. Since you've been dealing with people who've gone through divorce, and they're always dealing with attorneys, what are the questions somebody should ask before they engage an attorney?

Speaker 2 – Leah Hadley:
I love this question. I don't know if you know this, Steve, but I actually have a podcast called Intentional Divorce Insights. Every single time I have an attorney on the podcast, I ask them what they think clients should be asking attorneys because I think it's such a good question.

It always surprises me. I see it on Facebook groups or elsewhere on social media where people will say, “Can you recommend an attorney to me?” I have a lot of questions for somebody before I recommend an attorney.

I think it's really important to understand that, just like financial professionals or any of the professionals in your life, they're going to have different specialties and different experiences. Some are going to be better suited for certain kinds of divorce cases, and others are going to be better suited for other kinds of divorce cases.

So what do I mean by that? First and foremost, it's important to understand that there's more than one way to go about terminating a marriage. A lot of times, people have this image, whether it's from the movies or social media, of somebody filing for divorce and serving their spouse with divorce papers. The majority of the time, that's actually not the way it starts.

You may find that you're in a situation where you and your spouse have decided jointly that you're going to terminate the marriage and you want to approach it in a collaborative way. That could be a collaborative divorce, which is a very specific, structured process, or it might be a cooperative divorce, which is a less structured process but still involves attorneys working together to come to a resolution. It might be mediation, where you have a mediator facilitating the conversation that's ultimately getting you to resolution.

Some attorneys are much more focused on litigation. If you have a case with additional complexity — we see a lot of cases with mental-health issues, or there may be other reasons it's high conflict — then you probably want an attorney who is well-versed in litigation because your case may end up in court. You want somebody who can support you through that process.

The person who is a really well-trained litigator may not be the same person who is really going to support you through mediation and help you understand how to make the most of the mediation experience. Excellent skills, important skills, but for two very different kinds of cases.

I think it's important to start with: What kind of support do I really need? We have some attorneys we work with where the clients will come work through the financials with us, and we're primarily sending them to the attorney to document everything and get it filed with the court. We have other cases that are very complex and require a lot of subpoenas to get all the financial information we need. We really need those litigators to help us work through that.

First and foremost, start with where you are and what kind of support you need. Talk to the attorneys you're meeting with and ask them: How do you support your clients? How many of your cases go to trial? Do you support the mediation process? Are you a trained mediator? Understanding their experience and expertise is really important.

I also think it's incredibly valuable to get referrals from people who have worked with these folks in the past. The number-one complaint I get from clients is, “My attorney is not responsive. I can't get a hold of them.” Obviously, I'm not going to refer somebody to an attorney I have trouble getting a hold of and communicating with. When you're getting referrals from other professionals in your life, you know some vetting has already happened, and you can feel more confident in that decision.

But again, it's not going to be the same person for everybody. Before I make a referral, the questions I'm wondering about are, first and foremost: How well are you two getting along, and what process do you think will most likely be the case? Are there kid-related issues involved? Do we need a strong child advocate in this case? Are there special needs involved, whether that's your own children or other family members you might be supporting? How do we need to factor that in? Is there a business involved? Do we need somebody who has more experience dealing with the complexities of a business?

That's really what it comes down to: matching your situation with the attorney who has the experience you need and who is really going to be able to advise you through the process.

Speaker 1 – Steve Sexton:
Okay. So this is a question. It's wild. I got 500 emails about a “crazy spouse.” That “crazy spouse” could just be a very, very upset spouse. It could be somebody who has legitimate mental-health issues, bipolar disorder, or what have you.

People are saying, “What's the best thing to do?” I'm not asking for legal advice, but if you're dealing with something like that — and usually it's the spouse somebody is calling “crazy,” because one side may have fired four attorneys and decided to be their own attorney, and all that does is prolong the process and the cost — is there any advice for those types of situations?

Speaker 2 – Leah Hadley:
First and foremost, we work with a lot of people who have specifically experienced financial abuse. That's just something we've become known for, so we get a lot of those cases. Where there's financial abuse, there are typically other kinds of abuse involved as well.

My first question, Steve, is always: Are you safe? Let's first and foremost focus on physical safety and make sure that if you're not feeling physically safe, you're putting the steps in place to make sure you're in a position where you can feel physically safe. We're not going to be able to talk about the numbers or anything else until we make sure your physical safety is prioritized.

But to your point, it is a very triggering experience. I share this with my colleagues as well, just as a reminder that most people are at their worst when they're going through the divorce process. That's normal. People are absolutely going through a grieving process. A lot of times people think that's a linear process. It's not a linear process. People kind of bounce back through the stages.

That anger phase is very real. It is a very real phase, and it's normal. We have this wonderful membership program called the Empowered Sisterhood. One of our members was sharing the other day, “I'm feeling really angry,” and I said, “That's wonderful,” because for a lot of people, they won't acknowledge those feelings of anger. When we really acknowledge them, that allows us to process them.

But if your spouse is feeling very angry, they're lashing out at you, and they're feeling very triggered, I think divorce coaches are invaluable when it comes to figuring out how to communicate in a way that addresses what needs to be addressed and absolutely limits the communication to just what needs to happen.

For some people who are in that space where everything is just going to amp it up, amp it up, amp it up, we need to really minimize the communication.

Speaker 1 – Steve Sexton:
Okay. That's really good to know. Sometimes people want to force that, and it doesn't go well.

Speaker 2 – Leah Hadley:
Right. No, it can absolutely blow things up as far as the divorce case goes, for sure.

Speaker 1 – Steve Sexton:
Oh, yeah. Folks, stick with us. We're going to be right back with more Saving With Steve and Leah Hadley.

Speaker 3 – Announcer / Prerecorded Promotional Voice(s):
More expert advice for having a happier relationship with money is still to come on The Saving With Steve Show.

Don't let your financial woes keep you up at night and prevent you from living a life of financial and personal freedom. Hi, I'm Steve Sexton, host of The Saving With Steve Show. We're going to be talking about the ins and outs of money — those financial issues that could be costing you thousands of dollars, causing stress, and keeping you up at night.

We're going to talk about money, tax reduction, saving more, spending less, your investments, risk management, retirement, and everything associated with you having a healthier, happier relationship with money. So, if you've ever dreamed of living a life of financial and personal freedom, you owe it to yourself and your family to tune in to The Saving With Steve Show.

Join me, Steve Sexton, on The Saving With Steve Show as we talk about everything under the sun when it comes to money. To learn more about the show, visit savingwithsteve.us. That's savingwithsteve.us, savingwithsteve.us. We'll see you soon.

Welcome back to the show that is here to help you achieve your financial goals. It's The Saving With Steve Show. Now here's your host, Steve Sexton.

Speaker 1 – Steve Sexton:
Hey, folks. Welcome back to The Saving With Steve Show, where we talk about the ins and outs of money. We're talking to Leah Hadley. We're going to get right to it.

People go through divorce. They've got their separate attorneys. They might have had a financial advisor who helped both them and their husband before. The question is: Should we keep the old financial advisor or source a new one? What should we look for? Most importantly, what are the questions to ask?

Because I think if you're going through a divorce, you're basically killing your previous life, so to speak, and you're starting a new one. I can understand the transition, the anger, the emotion, and everything that goes along with that. But now it's like, “Okay, what do I do with the financial side of this? Who do I trust?”

I've had people say, “I don't trust my own financial advisor because they're still taking care of my ex-husband.” I've seen both people stick with the same advisor. And I've read a statistic that says that 85% of the time, when somebody gets divorced, they're finding a new financial advisor.

Help us walk through that because that's a big thing.

Speaker 2 – Leah Hadley:
It is. I think it's a really important question, and I think it's a question each individual needs to ask themselves.

I don't encourage people to change financial advisors during the divorce process. I always encourage them to first and foremost focus on the settlement. If they decide to change in the future, that's fine. But if they need support on the settlement, get an independent Certified Divorce Financial Analyst who is not your financial advisor and can work either as an advocate or as a neutral, depending on the nature of that person's practice.

For us, we will either be hired as an advocate or as a neutral. Either way, it's fine to advise you on the divorce specifically. You can decide how you want support going forward.

If you loved your financial advisor, you had a close working relationship, they understood your goals, and they supported you well, I don't see any reason to change that. If that's working for you, I think that's fantastic.

I think it is very common, though, and we hear it across the industry, where a couple may have a financial advisor but they have kind of a primary client and a secondary client. If you've always felt like that financial advisor was just focused on your spouse and maybe doesn't understand your individual goals — maybe that's not something you guys have even talked about — then maybe that's not the right fit for you.

If you think you might want to change, have some conversations. For financial advisors, that typically isn't going to cost you anything. At least you can get to know some people and say, “Hey, I love who I'm working with. Maybe I'm just going to stick with it,” or, “There are some other options that feel better to me.” I think that's fantastic.

The thing I think is really important to know, though, is that not all financial advisors are experienced specifically with divorce financial analysis. Even the CFP Board recently came out and made a recommendation that if CFPs — Certified Financial Planners — have clients who are going through a divorce, they encourage the divorce financial analysis to be done with a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst.

It is a different thought process than traditional financial planning, and the thought process is within the context of the law in that state. Having that expertise specifically as you're settling your divorce is incredibly valuable.

Speaker 1 – Steve Sexton:
Okay. There's a term you use called “neutral.” Help our audience understand what that really means. Put that into context.

Speaker 2 – Leah Hadley:
I'm glad you asked the question. When we're hired, we're either hired by one of the parties — maybe through their attorney or by themselves directly — or by both parties. If both parties are engaging us, then we're serving as a neutral.

It's very similar to the role of the mediator, but in this case it's a neutral for financial analysis. We're looking at what is important to each of the parties.

The way I structure my neutral engagements, I have an individual conversation with each of the parties first, before I go through the financials, to get a clear sense of what really matters to them, what's important to them, and what they're really worried about.

Then we go through the financials, and instead of meeting with them each separately, I'm meeting with them together. Together, we're working toward coming up with a reasonable settlement where we can maximize the marital estate, minimize taxes, and minimize the administrative expense of dividing things up — that kind of thing.

Speaker 1 – Steve Sexton:
Okay. So basically, as a neutral, you're sharing the facts with them and saying, “This is what you've got. This is how much income you've got. How do you want to do it? This is important to you. This is important to you.” Perfect.

So if somebody says, “Okay, now I want to find another financial advisor because I just want to move away,” what are the questions somebody should be asking over and above their licenses and their CFP credentials and all that? What should they be asking?

Speaker 2 – Leah Hadley:
I think it's really important for the people you're working with to have experience working with folks like you. Whatever your situation is, we have kind of a wide scope when it comes to this work. But some of the financial advisors we work with may specialize in physicians, orthodontists, veterinarians, or what have you. If you want that specific expertise, I think it's important that you find somebody who has that expertise.

For me, I am all about building financial confidence and building financial literacy. Just a couple of weeks ago, I had a woman who decided to leave the firm and manage her investments on her own. For me, that was amazing because I've educated her to the point of having the confidence that she now feels like she can manage that portfolio for herself.

The kinds of people we work with are those who really want to learn and really want to understand. For a lot of people, they don't want to learn. They want to be hands-off. Then you find an advisor who's just going to take care of it for you.

But again, similar to what we talked about with the attorneys, it's finding the people you feel comfortable with. We are the first call when somebody loses a job, when somebody has a major health crisis, or any kind of major life event that's going to impact their finances.

You want to have somebody on your team you feel confident enough with that, when you're going through a big struggle — something that really feels big — you know you can pick up the phone and have somebody walk you through this.

Speaker 1 – Steve Sexton:
Okay. Now I want to ask you about your book. Let's talk about Intentional Money. Explain the concept of the book and what people get out of it if they read it.

Speaker 2 – Leah Hadley:
Intentional Money talks about a framework I've created called the Intentional Money Method that's designed with six pillars. It starts first and foremost with getting really clear on where you are and what matters to you.

Clarity is the first pillar. There, we look at values. Values are really the lens through which we're looking at everything. There's so much noise in the world, whether it's your spouse, your child, your parent, or your neighbor, that it's very hard for a lot of people to make financial decisions because they're hearing so many different messages.

When we get really clear on what matters to you, what your values are, and what we really want to prioritize in your plan, it's a different conversation. So, really getting clear on values.

Mindset is the third pillar. Mindset is interesting because it's kind of happening in the background. A lot of people don't even recognize the decisions they're making in their lives based on money stories they were raised with — maybe being told they were bad with money for years, or being told their income was limited for one reason or another.

We really start to break down the stories we have in our minds that might be limiting us and ask how we can open ourselves up to a new story.

From there, we look at strategy, action, and support. I think strategy is absolutely paramount. It's really important, but without having the clarity, knowing what your values are, and recognizing that there may be some messages under the surface that are holding you back, the strategy doesn't work. That's where we start with those first three, and then we move into strategy.

Action is critical because a lot of times people think that, in order to take action, you have to feel confident first. It's really the reverse. We have to take action and show ourselves what we're capable of to really build that confidence.

Then I think there's a message out there about how we're supposed to be able to do everything ourselves. That's not reality. Nobody is born knowing how to manage money well. I encourage people to get the support they need.

That's going to look different for different people. It might be a family member. It might be a professional financial planner. It might be a group like the Empowered Sisterhood that I mentioned. Whatever that looks like for you, make sure you have that support to help you reach your goals.

Speaker 1 – Steve Sexton:
That's wonderful. How can people get your book?

Speaker 2 – Leah Hadley:
The book is available on Amazon: Intentional Money: The Modern Women's Guide to Building Wealth, Purpose and Peace.

Speaker 1 – Steve Sexton:
That's wonderful. Now, if somebody wants to reach out to you because they're going through a divorce or they just have a transition and would like to talk to you, how do people get a hold of you?

Speaker 2 – Leah Hadley:
The best way is right on our website, which is www.intentionaldiverse.com. We have a contact page. You can reach out to my assistant and get yourself scheduled.

Speaker 1 – Steve Sexton:
Perfect. Leah, I want to thank you so much. It's so cool because I like to let you talk because you just answer everybody's questions. It's funny. I was like, “I feel lonely here because she's answering all the questions.”

Speaker 2 – Leah Hadley:
Well, I appreciate the opportunity to share the information.

Speaker 1 – Steve Sexton:
You've been wonderful. You've done this many times before, so it's been great because you're covering a whole slew of questions that are being answered. I want to thank you for being here. I appreciate you.

We go through this topic once or twice a year, and I'd love to have you back again.

Speaker 2 – Leah Hadley:
That would be wonderful. Thank you so much.

Speaker 1 – Steve Sexton:
Yes. With that, I want to thank you for joining us. Folks, we'll be right back with more Saving With Steve.

Speaker 3 – Announcer / Prerecorded Promotional Voice(s):
More expert advice for having a happier relationship with money is still to come on The Saving With Steve Show.

Don't let your financial woes keep you up at night and prevent you from living a life of financial and personal freedom. Hi, I'm Steve Sexton, host of The Saving With Steve Show. We're going to be talking about the ins and outs of money — those financial issues that could be costing you thousands of dollars, causing stress, and keeping you up at night.

We're going to talk about money, tax reduction, saving more, spending less, your investments, risk management, retirement, and everything associated with you having a healthier, happier relationship with money. So, if you've ever dreamed of living a life of financial and personal freedom, you owe it to yourself and your family to tune in to The Saving With Steve Show.

Join me, Steve Sexton, on The Saving With Steve Show as we talk about everything under the sun when it comes to money. To learn more about the show, visit savingwithsteve.us. That's savingwithsteve.us, savingwithsteve.us. We'll see you soon.

Welcome back to the show that is here to help you achieve your financial goals. It's The Saving With Steve Show. Now here's your host, Steve Sexton.

Speaker 1 – Steve Sexton:
Hey, folks. Welcome back to The Saving With Steve Show, where we talk about the ins and outs of money — pretty much everything under the sun that relates to you having a happier, healthier relationship with money. Again, my name is Steve Sexton. Thanks for joining us today.

Today, let's talk about a big shift happening on Wall Street. Both BlackRock and Goldman Sachs just shared a very clear message. BlackRock says investors need to be smart about portfolio construction. We've been saying this for a long time, but here we go. They want you to ask a simple question: Why do you own each position in your portfolio?

Think about that for a second. Do you have a real reason for every stock you hold, or did you just buy it because it was going up?

At the same time, Goldman Sachs is looking at tech and AI. They're not saying AI is dead — not at all — but they are asking tough questions about companies spending billions on AI infrastructure without showing any actual returns yet. They favor businesses already making money from it.

Here's why this matters to us. BlackRock and Goldman Sachs are doing the same thing from different seats. Both giants are moving away from broad-market hype and focusing on careful selection and value. The game has changed. The easy money from riding the big wave is slowing down. Now, real earnings and smart choices separate the winners from the losers.

So I have to ask you a question, and I'd like you to think about this: Has your advisor shared this information with you and made you aware of this type of management? What will it take to come out on the possible winning side? What are your thoughts on that?

That is the reason now is the time to establish some guardrails, make some intelligent adjustments, and develop a right-sized action strategy. Not to panic. You just need to be prepared for the good, the bad, and the uncertain.

I get these questions a lot. There are three of them.

Number one: dealing with uncertainty. Let me tell you, uncertainty over the foreseeable future will be ruling a lot of decisions. We are in an uncertain world now. So how is your portfolio engineered to navigate through uncertainty and ensure you come through unscathed with your lifestyle intact?

Number two: How is your portfolio currently engineered to take advantage of opportunities in the good times? How is it set up? Remember, folks, in chaos there are always opportunities.

For months, Wall Street has talked about this big red balloon that's floating around looking for a pin. We all know what happens when a balloon meets a pin.

Number three: Is your portfolio engineered to absorb impact?

Again, this is not about panicking, selling off, or locking things in. This is about making intelligent financial adjustments so you can keep moving forward safely.

That said, folks, I want to thank you all for joining us here on Saving With Steve. Leah Hadley was wonderful, giving advice on the emotional and financial impacts of divorce. With that, I want to thank you all. You have a wonderful time. I look forward to seeing you next time.

Speaker 3 – Announcer / Prerecorded Promotional Voice(s):
Thank you for joining us for The Saving With Steve Show, hosted by Steve Sexton. To learn more about the show and how to become a guest or sponsor, visit savingwithsteve.us. That's savingwithsteve.us.

Join us again next time as we continue to talk about everything under the sun that relates to you having a healthier, happier relationship with money.

This has been The Saving With Steve Show, hosted by Steve Sexton.