We are more than what we see
Every voice, every story
Hold the key
Together we rise in synergy
Different faces, different pain
Different stories, same refrain
Trying to find a place to stand
Trying to feel a guiding hint
What you say and what you mean
Life's somewhere in between
Every action has a cause
Every heart behind the walls
Fear some, we can hear it
If you look, we can see it
There's a pattern in the soul
Every piece can make us host the power
The power of synergy
Understanding you and me
Every difference, every truth
Leads us back to something
It's the power
Welcome to the power of synergy
On BBS radio
I'm Gabrielle Cardona, a relationship
Coach. This show is a call-in show
For advice. Basically when I give people
My advice as an individual
Coach, it's about $150 an hour
But not everyone can afford that
And some people still need advice
So if you have a question
About life and about relationships
That's what I specialize in
Go ahead and give the station a call
The number is 8886276008
Now, I've been doing this for over 20 years
And I've had all kinds of clients
Everything from a 12 year old Cuban girl
Who's grandmother brought her to me
Saying, I can't figure this child out
And she's driving me nuts, fix her
I'll give you $100 an hour to fix her
And you know what?
About a month into it
For four weeks into it
I told the girl, I said, you do
Revealize you're the adult in this relationship
And she said, no one where I come from
Wants to accept that
I said, okay, so let's do this
To a 67 year old Jewish man
Who said, I think I've been doing the wrong job
For 45 years
I'm ready to retire
And my wife and I recently divorced
I'm ready to be happy
Can you teach me how to be happy?
I said, absolutely
But my very first client was an attorney
A district attorney
That I was literally standing in a coffee shop
In line
And we were waiting for the very inept
People behind the counter
They couldn't even do a basic task
That they were hired
They were paid minimum wage to perform
We were kind of making jokes
And he said, what kind of work do you do?
Now remember, this is at the beginning of my career
I said, I'm a life coach
And he said, I've heard of that, what is that?
And I thought, oh my gosh, this is my first client
I'm actually getting a client here, what's my sales pitch?
I coach it, you know what?
I give people strategy and equipment
To score in the game of life
And I'm like, ooh, I like that
I think I'm going to keep that
Because what do you mean?
I said, I teach people what's right about them
Instead of what's wrong
And teach them how to maximize all their potential
To reach whatever goals they set for themselves
Kind of based on their personality
And he said, oh, so you're a psychologist
I said, no, I'm not a psychologist
Tries to analyze you mentally
Tell you where you're sick,
You keep calm, you full of drugs and label you
I don't think most people are sick
I just think they're either misinformed or uninformed
And so when I give them actual answers to their questions
It's practical advice that they can use in an effective and pragmatic way
Yeah, they can actually make their life better
With the information that I give them
And I don't make them feel bad
And he said, oh, okay, you know what?
Let me just tell you this
If you can tell me why
My life is perfect on paper
And I'm not happy
I'll give you 60 bucks an hour
And I was thinking, wow, I was only going to ask for 50
Because keep in mind this was more than 20 years ago
In Phoenix, and so $50 an hour was a lot
So when he said 60, oh, man, I was buying some
Martinelli sparkling apple cider with that extra $10
Because that was a chitching moment for me
I said, yeah, I'll absolutely teach you
Why? Even on paper, if everything you've done is completely right
Why are you not happy?
And I said, well, what do you mean by pervert?
And he said, well, first of all, I come from a Mormon family
And they are amazing people
I said, I know, and you guys have an awesome congregation
Where you genuinely do take care of each other
In a community mindset
He said, I'm a district attorney
So I got some good power and influence in my community
And I make excellent money
And I actually love what I do
And I'm good-looking, which, yes, he was
He was very good-looking
And he had money because he was very disciplined
About how he managed his money
And he said, why am I not happy?
And I said, because you know what?
Actually, let me go ahead and give you your personality profile
You are...
I said, I was gonna get your results here
You're an INTJ
And what you're doing right now is more of an ENTP
Job, he said, I have no idea what that means
I said, okay, let me break this down
In functionality
You are dominant function
What you need to spend eight hours a day doing
Is introverted intuition
You have an amazing ability to think about things
In a profound way
And on a very complex level
And not only do you understand them
But you know how to simplify them
But you're an introvert
I said, and you're doing about eight hours a day
Interacting with people activities that are socially interactive
That is sucking the life out of you
And he said, oh my God, you're serious
Because I love the law, I want to stay with the law
I said, you know what would be better for you
As being a teacher
Or you're actually talking about it
For three, maybe four hours a day
To people who want to know
They actually have an interest
They're not trying to fight with people
And that way you can think about it
You can sit and reflect
And analyze and study and research
And do all that stuff by yourself
For six to eight hours a day
Because as an INTJ
You're introverted intuition is dominant
Your thinking is extroverted
And it's auxiliary
And he said, oh my God, I can't believe that
You actually not only did you figure me out
There's nothing wrong with me, I'm just weird
He happens to only be about 1.5% of the human population
But you know what, you figured out what would make me happy
And it does, it's like breathing
I said, yes, I'm going to write a book about this
Because there's a lot of Myers-Briggs information out there
But they don't really explain
What our functionality is, what your profile is
Isn't exclusively what you will do
And it's not an explanation of why certain things are easy
And other ones are hard
So I was like, man, I got this
This is good, I'm going to teach people
How to maximize everything about themselves
That they might before have thought is an imperfection
No, a character flaw
Oh my God, a mental illness
No, it's not
It's just quirky, maybe different
I'm very misunderstood
And in the world we live in unappreciated
Let me ask you ladies and gentlemen, do you feel unappreciated as a human?
As a person?
Have you done things that logistically?
Yeah, they're very impressive
You've got money in the bank, you've got an impressive title
You've got letters after your name
You have the influence, social influence
But if you're not happy, what is it worth to you?
And what good is it actually going to do the world?
We do have a conscience, we have a social conscience
And we have a sense of accountability
Well, are we really accountable?
You know what, ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to be talking about social media today
And about technology
Because I've alluded to it in previous shows
And when I go on websites
Where I'm talking to colleagues in a public way
When I have posts or boards with groups
Where I make a comment
Or sometimes I'll pose a question and have people make comments on my posts
There's a very consistent complaint
And that is, computers are replacing us
We're not familiar with each other
We're not even aware of ourselves anymore in the same way
We don't trust people, we don't connect with people
They call it social media, but we're very anti-social
And when we do get together, we don't even know how to have a conversation
A healthy, happy, encouraging conversation
Where we walk away from each other
From being with each other in a personally direct interaction
Feeling better than we did before we engaged in that
That conversation, that setting, that situation
Where we were directly involved with the people
So again, the number to this station is 888-627-6008
Now I'm going to be talking about a couple different things
And if you have a question that's not relevant to what I'm discussing
That's absolutely fine because as a life coach
Yeah, there's a lot of things that I know about
And there's anything that I can answer
But we're going to take a real quick break
And when we come back for the rest of the show
I'm going to be talking about how the human factor
The human element is the basis of our synergy
I'm Gabrielle Cardona
This is the power of synergy on BBS, we'll be right back
We'll be right back for the next few minutes
So again, the power of synergy
We'll be right back for the next two minutes
Thank you for watching, we'll be right back
Welcome to the power of synergy
I'm Gabrielle Cardona
And today I'm talking about the human factor
The human factor
The human factor
The human factor
The human factor
The human factor
talking about the human factor, the human element of what our
lifestyle really consists of anymore, how much is just
technology? How much is personal direct interaction? And how
much is once removed? We may have a communication with someone.
But if it's on a machine, it's not the same thing.
And one of the best jokes, one of my favorite jokes that my
oldest son, and I'm trying really hard not to get emotional
because I love him so much. She is the polar opposite of
everything I am. And I always tell the world he raised me very
well. One day he came home from high school, and he said, Mom,
I got the best joke you're going to love it. It's very
INTP. I said, Okay, great, tell me it's kind of long. So
get comfortable. The Spanish teacher was explaining to the
class that in Spanish, words are feminine or masculine. You
don't just say the you say L or law. And so one of the
students, it was an adult class. And one of the students says,
is it L compute the door or law compute a door? And she got
kind of a mischievous look in our face. And she said, Well,
do you think it's more like a man or a woman? And he said,
nevermind, I withdraw the question. And she said, No, no,
no, we're gonna have a little fun here. We're gonna play a
game. Men sit over there, women sit over here. And you know what,
we're gonna talk it out. Is this beautiful machine here? A
guy or a gal? And so them and said, really? Okay, they got
together and they pulled out a pen and paper and started
whispering and scribbling it. And she goes, Well, what, what are
you doing? This is what he's writing down. This is just a game.
Can I see it? And they said, Yeah, man, this thing has
breasts. It's so female. And she said, Okay, can I see what
you're writing? And they said, Yeah, four reasons. First of
all, only the creator understands their logic. Number
two, they speak a language only. They know how to interpret
number three, they store every mistake you ever make in long
term memory for future retrieval. And number four, half your
paycheck goes to the damn accessories. And she went, Oh my
god, ladies, I'm drowning. Maybe this was a mistake. Please
save me. And the lady said, No, no, no, this thing's a guy. We'll
tell you why we got four reasons to right here. Number one,
they won't do anything for you until you turn them on. Number
two, you can give them information all day long and
they're still never gonna think for themselves. Number three,
they claim to be able to solve all your problems. But you know,
what in real life when push comes to shove, they're usually
the problem. And finally, you know, if you just waited six
months, you could have had a better one. Okay, now I really
like that joke for several reasons. First of all, because it
explains how humans, we love to hate what we have in our
lives. But even more, you know, we don't really know how to use
potentially good tools like technology in a constructive and
healthy way. What started out several decades ago, as
something progressive and innovative has now become
something toxic in our life. But most importantly, I think that
joke really summarizes the fact that we don't know how to
relate to each other anymore. We don't know how to connect with
each other. Yes, technology has made some definite improvements
in the world and in our life. But when I ask people, sometimes
I do surveys like on public transportation, like because I'm
here in Phoenix, and there's a lot of people on trains and buses
and in public areas in downtown. And I say to people, one of my
favorite questions to ask them is if technology were to
completely break down and shut down and dissolve into thin air
to where no one could have any access to it. It's just a matter
of, you know, you're going to have to get back into memorizing
phone numbers and going to places and speaking to the people in
the business directly without using an application. Would people
be happier? Would they be sad? And I get kind of a polar opposite
response. Some people say, I would be so relieved, I would have a
party because this thing is just completely ruining my life. And
the other younger generation is saying people wouldn't know how
to find North on a compass. I'm sorry, what's the compass? Yeah,
no, the fact that they would have anxiety and stress, they would
feel overwhelmed. That's what scares me when I talk to people
about this. The generation gap, I didn't saying just because I
don't always ask people their age, it hovers between 45 and 55.
Anyone kind of over 55 says I would not miss my cell phone one
minute. Under 45, they're like, man, no one could get anything
done simply because everything is automated. And with artificial
intelligence, we literally have less ability to think for ourselves
because we're assuming that our technology is going to do all of
the logistic goal work, the important thinking activity for us.
Remember, ladies and gentlemen, when we remembered phone numbers,
we were we memorized phone numbers, which again to the station,
if you want to call in is 888-627-6008, we would actually
think about what we were going to say. And that's another question I
pose to people. I say, you know what, if you were having this
conversation that you are on social media right now having with,
you don't even know who because they're not in front of you, it
doesn't matter what they say on their profile or the picture that
they post, you don't necessarily know that that's true. If you were
physically in the same personal space with that person and you
couldn't just exit or shut down or sign off, would you have said
that comment? Would you have made that statement to them to their
face knowing that you would have to be accountable for what you're
doing and what you're saying? A lot of the times they just say no,
because they know that it's not right what they're saying and
what they're doing. But there's no accountability. And I tell
people, look, we've got, we've got a lot of power, personal
power as humans. We do. We know that we have a very influential
effect on other people. But that comes with responsibility and
responsibility demands accountability. Ask yourself, who do you
believe you are accountable to for the effect that you have on
people? And I love to tell people my basic principles about
human interaction. Number one, there's no neutral energy. You
are either positive or you are negative. And people don't know
they're not aware of what's going on inside of themselves. Most
of the time, because you have to actually take a step back and
take a personal inventory of not only your thoughts and your
feelings, but your physical state, your thoughts and your
feelings manifest not only in what you do, but how you do it. So
that's the first one. There's no neutral energy. You are either
making people better or worse when you are around them. The
second one is there's no inertia. You're either moving towards
someone or away from them. And that means that when you get
together with them, you can actually move with them. Okay,
that's called synchronicity. When you synchronize, you
synergize and the power that you have to do things with that
person increases exponentially. You don't add to each other. You
don't multiply each other. You empower each other. But that also
means that the human factor, the differences, the variables of
those differences are going to present an opportunity to do
good or bad things. You are either going to cooperate with
each other or undermine each other. You work together or you
work apart. Then you know what, you might actually work against
each other. If you stay together, but you have a negativity,
you have toxicity, you're not just moving apart from each other,
you're staying together with that negative energy. Yeah, you are
hurting each other. Do you believe that you have a responsibility
to not hurt people? That means that what you say and what you do
has to be thoughtful. It has to be careful. You have to be
proactive, not reactive, but that means you need to know
yourself. Again, the number to the station is 888 627 6008. When I
come back, I'm going to talk about the differences between people
and personalities and functionality. Like what I said to my first
client, you need to do your dominant function. I'll explain
that a little bit more in the specific activities that that's
displayed as by different personalities, especially considering
where it falls on their ladder of performance. So we're going to
take a real quick break. Again, the number of the station 888 627 6008.
This is the power of synergy on BBS radio. I'm Gabrielle Cardona.
We'll be right back.
Deep but truth inside. If you want to understand, we can
finally take a stand. Not against but side by side with the
witnesses are guys. The power of synergy.
Understanding you and me every difference. Every truth leads
us back to something new. It's the power we can be.
When we see you. It's on the leaf. Not just what energy.
Welcome back to the power of synergy on BBS. I'm Gabrielle
Cardona, a relationship coach. Now, as I said in the beginning,
I started out as a life coach. And again, this, this son of mine
that gave me the beautiful computers, gender joke. When I
first started out, he kept telling his friends, my mom's a
shrink, my mom's a shrink. And I said to him, honey, I love you.
But I'm going to hurt you if you keep saying that I am
diametrically opposed to all things in the mental health
industry. I do not treat people the way shrink treats people.
I do not believe the things that they believe it. I do not do
what they do. And he turns around and he just said with this
just matter of fact, look on his face. He said, Mom, here the
worst kind of shrink. You're a shrink in denial. And I thought,
you know what, I don't have a favorite child. But I think
you just became my favorite child, because that was a very
clever thing to say. Do you know what? I don't believe that
people are mentally ill most of the time. Sometimes they
genuinely aren't. But I certainly don't believe that they
need to be dragged. I think drugs do not deal with the source of
the issue. Okay, so let's talk again, what we're talking about
today, the human factor. Let me ask you to ask yourself.
Have you noticed that when we go into restaurants, there are no
employees at the registers. There are now kiosks.
Does that bother you? It bothers me. Because when I go to the
register and I say, Hello, can I get some help over here? They
actually look at me like they're angry. They're irritated that
I'm interrupting more important work. I understand that
fiscally computers are, you know what, they're a better
investment than people because people make mistakes and people
fail. And they have limitations. Okay. But you know what, I don't
like having to deal with technology. And when I call on the
phone, and I have to deal with a machine. And if they're are
calling for this reason, press one, please wait for all of the
options before making a selection. Okay, you know what, I
spend 20 minutes on a phone just trying to figure out which button
to put. You know what, the human factor with all of the
imperfections with all of the limitations that we have. If we
are quality versions of ourselves. And by that, I mean,
let's get rid of the technology and get back to being human. We
are amazing. We have the capacity to do things like the joke
said that computers just can't we can have all kinds of devices.
Does it concern you that cars drive themselves? Well, no, you
know what, when I ask people that question from my my service,
they're like, no, man, I trust technology more way more than I
trust people. Okay, that kind of irritates me that they say
that. But I understand now why they say that because we have
devolved, we have not maintained and sustained a high quality, a
high level of performance. That means not only what we're doing
in our activities, but the source of our activities, our
thoughts and our feelings are also devolving into something
reactive instead of proactive. Now, when I explain to people about
personalities, I'm not going to give you all of the dichotomies
because that's going to take a little bit longer. You can always
go back and check one of my old shows, because there have been
shows when I've explained the four different letters of your
personality. But I'm going to take the functional levels and
explain them. There's the dominant auxiliary tertiary and
inferior functions. Now, take an example of I'll take my
favorite example, my husband, the ESTP, the P in his name, the
latter in his profile, the last letter says that his second
letter, the S is going to be extroverted. Okay, that means
the third letter, the T is going to be introverted. And as the
first letter says he has an extrovert. So his extraverted
sensing is going to be preferred over his introverted
thinking. Yes, he does need to do introverted thinking. But he
only needs to do that for three or four hours a day. He needs to
do extroverted sensing activities for eight hours a day in order to
be healthy. But then if he's going to be extroverted sensing for
eight hours a day, the polar opposite is introverted intuition.
He can only do that for one to two hours a day, which leaves the
feeling activity. Now, if his thinking is introverted, that
means his feeling is going to be extroverted because the
principles of nature demand that things stay in balance. If his
thinking is introverted, his feeling is extroverted. So his
dominant quality is extroverted sensing, his auxiliary is
introverted thinking, his tertiary is extroverted feeling, and his
inferior is introverted intuition. And if you want more
information on that, you can go ahead and get my book on my
website, life dash synergy dash coaching calm. And the book is
called embrace your nature. Know what your different activities
are and what levels they fall on. But let's talk specifically about
what extroverted sensing is. Sensing is about engaging with your
environment. It's about interacting with the physical items and
doing physical activities in a tangible way. Being extroverted
means that it needs to be with as many people as possible. Just
in case you're wondering for me, I'm an INTP, my sense is
in introverted. So that means when I'm doing the exact same
activities that my husband is doing as an extrovert, I need to
do them as an introvert. I cannot be with people to do those
things. So it's important for him to do things like cooking. He
likes to go out and or like landscaping. He did very, very
well landscaping or working in a restaurant when he is doing
hand-eye coordination things. And he's talking to people. He's
better than a woman. He can cook in an amazing way. And he can
multitask. But when it's time for him to make a decision that is
thinking, you need to leave him alone. He needs to not have any
kind of verbal activity because being thinking is about
logical, rational, analytical decision making in an objective
way. That's very different from extroverted sensing. He can only
do logical, rational decision making for about three to four
hours a day. And it needs to be alone. But what about feeling? If
his feeling then is the polar opposite of introverted thinking,
you know what? It's extroverted feeling. Feeling is about
taking care of people. It's about being generous and nurturing
and supportive and encouraging. Yeah, when he's around other
people being sensory, he can engage feeling activities that aren't
even his personality because it's extroverted. So if he's going
to be loving and supportive and caring and nurturing with people,
it's best for him to do it in a sensory way. So wait a minute.
That means that if he's going to be doing something in a
restaurant, it might actually be better for him to work in a
hospital. Whoa, wait a minute, because that way, when he's
doing something in a loving and supportive and caring way, he's
doing it in a pragmatic and tangible environment. Yeah, okay,
well, then that makes sense. But you know what, sometimes he
just wants to deliver food to people. He's done better making
tamales on his own because as a sensory perceiver, he doesn't
like rules and he doesn't like schedules. Okay, so how about
if he just has 50 clients who want tamales every week, he can
make tamales and give them the people delivering them in the
community and visiting with them for 20 minutes. Oh my god,
that's it. That's what he should do. But then his inferior
function, introverted intuition is being long. Okay, intuition
is about understanding the profound meaning behind things.
It's about seeing long term big picture, understanding the
principles of how things are connected to each other. So if
I'm asking him, you know what, you need to be understanding and
insightful. He can do that best while he's also
introvertedly thinking because he's going to do it in an
objective way. So as I'm saying to him, honey, we got to decide
are we going to live in Phoenix or are we going to live in
Seattle? I need to leave him alone. And I need to let him do
it in a logical and rational way because his thinking is also
introverted with his intuition. And sometimes I know that that
means I need to physically not be around him because I don't
want to stimulate his sensing or his feeling. You know what,
that's okay. If I say to him, get get away from me, baby, I'm
going to go somewhere else for you to really and truly ponder
and reflect on this and make your decision without being
distracted by me. That is a loving gift. And I don't take it
personally when he says, I can't have you around you're driving
me nuts. Because I'm literally pulling him into a different
place inside of himself. Ladies and gentlemen, if you want to
understand that every one of those four activities, sensing
intuiting, thinking and feeling everybody does them, they just
do them in a different way. Machines aren't like that. We
don't they don't have those those variations, those variables.
When I come back, I'm going to talk about another topic that's
very, very important to me. And I'm very passionate about
replacing people with animals. Okay, yeah, the number of the
station 888 627 6008. Many people have opinions about this
we're going to take a quick break. This is the power of synergy
on BBS radio. I'm Gabrielle Cardona.
There's a meaning. Oh, every soul is speaking loud. If we
only slow it down, no more gas than who we welcome back to the
power of synergy on BBS. I'm Gabrielle Cardona. And today I'm
talking about the human factor. I just explained the different
levels of functionality and the different ways people can
display sensing, intuiting, thinking and feeling and how
it's important to remember that even if you're an introvert, you
do two activities in an extroverted way. And if you're an
extrovert, you're still going to do two things in an introverted
way. And when you're with people, ask yourself, how much do I
take into consideration the individual variables, the
differences between people and take advantage of those potential
opportunities to maximize strengths and talents, gifts
and abilities. Okay, you know what? Unfortunately, I think
technology has really undermined our connections to each other. If
you have any questions or comments, either agreement or
disagreement with that, the number of the station is 8886276008.
Now, we can we can go ahead and talk about the needs, the
emotional needs that humans have. Yeah, we do need to have
connection. We need to actually bond with people. But in my
opinion, technology has done two things. It's made us very
suspicious of ourselves and each other because people are
getting very paranoid about what's going on with our technology.
So they're not as willing to trust people. And that's a very,
very, very bad thing. But it's also making us disconnected from
ourselves. Now, it's it's very scary because my father taught me
something when I was very young, he kind of caught me in a line. He
said, honey, I'm not going to punish you for this. I just want
you to think about something. When you lie to strangers, you miss
out on a massive opportunity more than you think. When you lie to
friends and family, you die alone, because no one is going to
trust you. No one's going to want to be with you. But when you
lie to yourself, that's very dangerous. You start believing your
own lies. When you believe your own lies, you don't have anyone
left. It's all over. It's all over for you. And he walked away
and I said, okay. Oh, that's wow. How many people don't know the
truth about themselves? They're they're detached or they're
disconnected. No, detached is is cut off from what's going on
around you. Disconnected is cut off from yourself. And so
sometimes when I would when I would do some coaching at the
shelter in downtown Phoenix, Cass, I would ask people of the
four eyes, there's ignorance in different impotence and
incompetence for what's going on here. When you're being tortured
and abused and lied to and taken advantage of as the residents,
you are being treated like garbage. Do you think the problem
with the people that work here and that run these places and that
fund these places? Do you think the reason they allow this garbage
to go on is ignorance or indifference? Is it impotence or is
it incompetence? Do they not know? Do they not care? Are they
not empowered to do it? Or are they not qualified? And which one
of those things is the worst, most toxic of those those four
options? How many people don't know? How many people just don't
want to know? They actually look the other way. They will fully
choose to be ignorant to what's going on. In different in
different means they've detached from themselves. They literally
can look at a situation and say, I don't care. I know exactly
what's going on. And I have disconnected from myself to the
point where I don't know, I don't have that ability to empathize
or sympathize. That is much scarier than not knowing because
you know what? If you don't know, someone can tell you and then
what you choose to do with it. Again, that's your personal
power and you are accountable for what you decide to do. But
when you are indifferent and you are disconnected from yourself,
that means you have removed access to the best things about
yourself, your humanity. We cannot get the relationships with
with technology. And we can't get in with animals either. A lot of
people now have basically said, I don't need to be married. That's
why I have sex toys and I have my dog or my cat. Emotionally,
what I need, I can get from an animal and sexually what I need,
I can get from a machine. No, you can't. And when we're talking
about what animals can provide to people, yes, there is a certain
stimulation. But if you are taking from an animal more than they
actually have the ability to give to you, right, you're you're
trying to substitute them for an actual human in your life, you're
abusing them because you're asking more of them than it's fair for
you to ask. And when you have those emotional needs, only humans
can really fill them. One of the things I tell people is you can
get a dose D O S E of happiness. When you laugh, you know what,
we laugh with ourselves at ourselves at each other with each
other. Yeah, laughter is contagious. You will never get that
from an animal. And the four chemicals, the four hormones that we
get D O S E dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin and endorphins only come
from two activities. Two human activities give us those four
chemicals at the same time. One of them is laughter. And the other
one is orgasm. And I always tell people, you know what, people
wouldn't masturbate as much if they laughed more because dopamine,
oxytocin, serotonin and endorphins all serve very different
purposes. And think about it, dopamine and serotonin are to
relax you, but endorphins stimulate you. How can you be
relaxed? That's what a lot of people take drugs for because it
it increases the dopamine in their brain. You know what, when
you're very relaxed, you're in a good mood, you're you are as they
say in Spanish of good humor, just a good mood. That means you
have the peace and calmness inside of you. But endorphins give
you excited energy. That's the strength to do things that
actually need to be done. But I always tell people also that
connection is an art. A R T. That is about appreciation, respect
and trust. When you know that people have the capacity, not
only to do things that animals, they just can't and dressing
them up like children and talking to them like your spouse and
doing things with them that you would do with a human. It's not
going to change their nature. Appreciate and respect and trust
the people in your life by coming back together with them,
understanding who they are, asking them questions and saying,
what do you like? What are you good at? What do you not like?
What's hard for you? Let's talk it out. Let's synchronize not
only in what we're doing, but how we're doing it and why we're
doing it. And that way we can maximize each of our talents
and strengths and gifts and abilities to make sure that whatever
task needs to be performed. If we don't have a machine, it's
okay. We can do it not only because we have the abilities. Yes,
we do humans have abilities that computers do not have that
animals do not have our cognitive thought, our emotional
processes, our physical agility, our flexibility, our
endurance, our power, our physical strength, the skills that we
have think about just about your hands. What things can your
hands do that you would need nine, 10, 11, 12 different machines
to do? And when you're doing them, you are filling not only a
need in the world, you are getting that gratification from
giving more than you receive. Whoa, wait a minute. Remember
back in the time when it wasn't about me first and more more more
more. It was about putting other people's needs ahead of your
own. There's more joy in giving than in receiving. Yeah, think
about this when you're with your animal. How much do you take
and how much do you give and how much does your animal want what
you're giving him or her? But you actually need to be giving to
a human instead. Are you being loving to the people, the
things in your life? Or are you really just trying to fill a
hole in your own soul? Now, what I'm going to talk about when I
come back is how to make yourself a very high quality version of
you so that when you interact with other people, you are high
quality, not only in the quantity, right, of what you're
giving, but understanding the needs of the recipient. Get
yourself into a good, good state of mind, and heart and body.
This is the power of synergy on BBS radio. The number to the
station again is 888 627 6008. We'll come back right after this
break to talk about how you can be the best version of you.
No more guessing who we are. We've been brilliant from the start
when we see with open eyes. We don't divide. We unify.
It's the power, the power of synergy. Breaking walls and setting
free. Every voice in every mind, finally seen, finally aligned.
It's the power of truth we couldn't see. Now, it's right in front
of me.
I'm just people.
Welcome back to the power of synergy on BBS. I'm Gabrielle
Cardona and now I'm going to explain how it's very important
to be a high quality version of yourself. I've always said I'd
rather have an ounce of gold than a ton of fertilizer because you
can't really quantify the value of people that when you have too
much of something, it's overwhelming. It's the principle of
excess. Yeah, unfortunately in the United States where I currently
reside, capitalism greed me first very much is about more more
more more more for me, me first. Okay, my mom was a flight
attendant and I will refer to this yet again. One of the things
that they say to you before you take off is in the event that we
experience a lack of oxygen. We have a loss of cabin pressure.
We have a backup supply of oxygen in the form of masks will come
down to distribute that oxygen to you if you need it. But make
sure if you're traveling with a small child or someone in need,
put the mask on yourself first before you help anyone else. Why?
Because if you're dead, you can't help anybody. Okay, it ain't rocket
science. Take care of yourself first. Unfortunately in the 80s
when I was coming into a womanhood, the mental health industry
and the expert professionals kept saying don't sacrifice yourself
for other people. Don't don't give to the point where you are doing
it at your own expense. Take care of yourself first so that you can
give to others. Well, I understood that. I definitely got that.
And it made sense to me make sure if someone needs you that you
are in a high quality state of performance while you are giving
to them. Unfortunately, I think around the 90s, it got to the point
where, yeah, I got to take care of me first, but it never got past
that. People didn't then take care of others. It ended at the I'm taking
care of me first at your expense. I ask people ask yourself when
you're putting yourself first ahead of other people, is it for the
purpose of ultimately returning back to that noble pursuit of helping
people that you know genuinely need help. Now, having people take advantage
of you is not the same thing. How do you get yourself into a high
quality state? First of all, you need to know what you need. Most people
don't even know what they need in the first place. And that's
definitely a problem. So I tell people different things that people
struggle with. One of them is losing focus. Some of my clients,
like I mentioned, they literally say, I don't even know what I'm doing
right now. Some people have very low energy. Some people have, you know
what, very negative attitude. How about just being emotionally
unstable for the things that are very common in the world and this
understood and mismanaged people just want to take drugs to
pretend like the problem isn't there. You know what, when I tell people
you want to create a focus for yourself, make sure you define
specifically where you're going, but then set up milestones and
rewards so that while you aren't en route to your destination, you're
giving yourself that confirmation to keep going. Yeah, be very
specific about what it is that you know you will stick to as a goal.
That helps you not only get your mentality into a different quality,
right? But your body will then cooperate with that force, the mental force
that is the source of what you will ultimately do. But what about low
energy? The fact that you're going to have to be able to do that
is the fact that we live in a world that does not encourage physical
activity. People are exhausted literally from doing nothing. Okay, so
physically you have to get yourself into a good state. I tell people
stretch. You have no idea how great stretching is because it does two
things. It increases your flexibility, but it puts blood in your body
wherever it needs to go. When you stretch yourself out, you are letting
your body do whatever work it needs to do because you're also breathing.
Inhaling engages your sympathetic nervous system. Exhaling is your
parasympathetic nervous system. That's getting your whole body back in
balance. Yeah, now that's good for your energy. That's mental and emotional
and physical energy. Okay, but you know what? Let's talk about just negative
emotions. When you have anger and you have that anxiety and you have the fear,
those are all very normal and healthy things. People just don't know how to
manage them because they don't really understand them. Okay, anxiety is about
what could potentially happen. Fear is about what is actually happening.
And anger is about what has happened. Having the ability to take a step back
and look at a situation to say, this is something that happened. There are a
lot of elements. There are a lot of factors. There are a lot of variables.
I'm going to understand that not only are there physical, biological processes
of all these chemicals being released that I need to get back into a healthy
state during the occurrence of, but then understand and define specifically
what is the source of the problem. That could be the source of negative thinking.
Wait a minute. Okay. Is my thinking the source of my negative emotions or are my
emotions causing that those negative thoughts? Okay. You can actually talk
to people in your life and say, I don't really know what's going on here because
I'm in the middle of the forest, right? I can't see the forest because I've got
trees right in front of my face. Help me figure this out. That will get your
mindset into a proactive instead of reactive approach to the whatever the
situation is. And then positive thinking through affirmations. Once you've
identified not the topic, not the issue, the problem, which is the source of the
cause of the effect, then you can say, you know what, it really just is negative
thinking because we have so much negativity around us. It's very important to
understand that affirmations literally rewire your brain. And so when you have
a positive that is more powerful than negative and you're constantly reminding
yourself of the positive principles of what's going on in your life, you can
always say to yourself, I'm literally going to brainwash myself back into a
good mood. And when I'm in a good mood, the people in my life are going to do
one of two things. They're either going to get annoyed because they are just
hell bent on being negative and they're going to go away. Okay. See you later.
Or they're going to want to synergize. They're going to want to synchronize
and synergize with you and then work with you and say, yeah, I like your positive
attitude. I like your healthy energy. I can definitely use a dose of that right
now in my life. Okay. Yeah. Much better. Yeah, let's do this. What can we do
together? Then you are not only creating something helpful and beneficial for
yourself and the people that you're with, but also the world around you that
will manifest. It's very important to remember though about affirmations. You
have to write the list about things that you currently do believe. They're
positive, healthy things that you know for a fact are true. Some that you know
on some level, they're true, but you have a hard time accepting it. And then
some things that you just don't believe at all. And you need to go into those
thoughts and mix up those statements, reading them out loud, the entire list of
those things until you believe them all completely believe them all. Even if
there's only one, let's say your list is of 12 things. If you believe 11, you know
what? You got to go down out loud until you leave all 12. You have power. Ladies and
gentlemen, there's a lot of potential that you have to affect other people, to
impact other people and to change the world. Ask yourself, do you appreciate
the power that you have? Do you understand the people in your life? Do you
appreciate who they are and really want to trust what they do? If you get
yourself into a good quality state, you can always be honest with people. I have
three books. They're on my website, life- synergy-coaching.com. One is about
your personality. Embrace your nature. One is about getting what you want in life,
the self-actualization workbook. And one is about marriage till death do us part.
I've been married for 32 years and people can't believe that my husband and I still
get a long boyfriend and girlfriend. But you know what? If you want another
secret about marriage, it's not like any other relationship. Go ahead and get that
book. And I'm getting the audio books recorded, so those will be available
probably by July 1st as well. Thank you so much for listening to the power of synergy
on BBS radio. And again, if you want to ask a question, the number of the station is
88627608. But if you're listening to the archives and you can go ahead and
email me something because you can't really listen to the live broadcast, but
you just don't want to ask a question. Feel free to email me at synergyrelationshipcoaching
at gmail.com. And if you don't want me to mention your name but you want me to
answer your question, feel free to go ahead and let me know that in the email as
well. Because we talk about a lot of different things about relationships.
Relationships are the foundation for our performance as human beings. We are not
animals. We are not computers. We are worth more. We need each other. And really
come to appreciate the value, the human value that people bring into your life.
You may just need to do another inventory and say, who really is in my life? And
what do I have to offer them? Yeah, when we get together, we make each other better
or worse. Make it your resolve to make sure that the quality of what you bring
into people's lives makes them better people. Thank you so much for listening
today. We'll see you next week here on BBS radio at the same time. I'm Gabrielle
Cardona. This is the power of synergy on BBS.
We will destiny. That's the power of synergy. Every story. Every sound. Every loss can still be found.
We truly see. We become synergy.