We are more than we see
Every voice, every story
Hold the key
Together we rise
In this energy
Different faces, different pain
Different stories, same refrain
Trying to find a place to stand
Trying to feel a guiding hint
What you say and what you mean
Life's somewhere in between
Every action has a cause
Every heart behind the walls
Fizzin'
We can hear it if you look up
We can see it
There's a pattern in the soul
Every piece can make us host the power
The power of synergy
Understandin' you and me
Every difference, every truth
Leads us back to somethin'
Welcome to the power of synergy
On BBS Radio
I'm Gabrielle Cardona
I'm a relationship coach
But I started out as a life coach
Because when I knew that the mental health industry
In the United States was doing a whole lot more damage
Than good to its, we'll call them victims
Oh no, that's right
Clients and patients
I knew that I couldn't endorse something
That claimed to make the world a better place
But it seemed to cause more problems
So when I was about 25
I saw something on television
About life coaching
And I thought, I wonder what that is
That almost sounds constructive and productive
Yeah, let's Google that
Well, you know what?
Life coaching could be anything from
A guru that teaches transcendental meditation
To a multi-level marketing scam artist
Selling organic a whole lot of nothing
So people basically said
You need to have a niche
You have to have a specialty
Well, I wanted to teach people how to score in the game of life
Teaching people how to succeed in their personal life
I knew that I needed to help them
Really identify where they were in life
And then define where they wanted to go
And then give them the equipment
Like a coach, there you go
Like give them a strategy and equipment
To score in the game of life
And I told people, you know what?
What works for one person isn't going to work for someone else
And just because you're having a hard time
Doesn't mean you're mentally ill
Let's go ahead and highlight the strengths
And maximize the abilities and talents
And that was fun
Yeah, I came up with a program
The coaching program
And when I saw people succeed
And they were feeling good about themselves
They were creating positive energy
And I told my husband, yeah, this is what I'm going to be
This is what I'm going to do
I'm going to facilitate people's success
Not label them, not pump them full of drugs
And not focus on everything that's wrong with them
I'm going to maximize what's right
But you know what?
Yeah, that kind of exploded early in the 2000s
So then I said, all right, you know what? I'm going to find a niche
A specialty, what is it that I love to do most with people?
I help people with everything from their careers
To losing weight with their health
Money management, time management
But all those different things, the element, the common factor
Was the human factor
Relationships
And I said, okay, yeah, I got to do this
This is teaching people how to be with people
And I knew that that was going to be as a relationship coach
My specialty, my area of expertise
And I taught people how to communicate with each other
To connect with each other
To synchronize, to synergize
And then people said, well, you're trying to save the Titanic with a teaspoon
You got to get on the radio or on television
You got to talk to the whole world, not one person at a time
So I found BBS radio
I met the owner of the station
And you know what?
My father taught me very early on in life something that
He's never been wrong about
It's not what you know, it's who you know
But you have to have that connection with people
You have to know how to be with people
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry
But in the early 2000s, technology completely took over our society
And I'm not just talking in the United States
We're talking about the entire world
People didn't know how to be with people anymore
Even in a socially casual way
And I thought, okay, yeah, this is pretty scary
I got to figure out how to help people get back together
There's a lot of ways we can get back together
I was having a conversation today with a gentleman at the bus stop
That's how I get together with people on public transportation
And I asked them questions
And then we were talking about artificial intelligence
And how the computers and the technology
They're trying to substitute human connection with electronics
You can't do that, you have to physically be with people
And look at them
And then I told a lady that I was living with
Her daughter was joining us for dinner
And I said, well, it's really hard for me in Seattle
Was people are now using animals as a substitute for their human connections
And she said, oh no, it's that way here too
I said, no, it's not in Phoenix, not like it is in Seattle
In Seattle, people literally treat their animals like children
They dress them, they talk to them that way
They push them around in strollers
They have entire sections of the store
Where they call their animals, their cats and their dogs
Their children
Alright, ladies and gentlemen, today on this show
I'm going to be talking about some pretty heavy issues
If you want to call in and ask me a question about relationships
Anything that you have a question about in your personal relationships
Please don't hesitate, the number is 888-627-6008
And I'm going to be talking about a lot of different themes
A lot of different topics, but they're all going to be related to
How we can be with each other
One of the questions that I ask people
But I love to ask people on the train, right?
The A-line, the B-line rail in Phoenix
If technology just completely disappeared for a day
Would people be relieved, or would they be horrified?
Would they be scared to death, or would they just love it?
And it depends on the age, I noticed the generation gap, the younger generation
They're more about, I can't do anything without my electronic device
The world now is contingent on having access to this
Artificial intelligence, it is literally thinking for us now
Pretty much everyone over 45, maybe 50, I'll say 50
They say God, it would be wonderful
Then I could actually go places with people and do things
The world we live in, it's so disconnected now
I don't care that they call it social media, it's very anti-social
Yeah, it's a very... a huge chasm
And I think that's another one of the reasons why I'm so passionate about
We really are not aware of ourselves
And you have to be aware of yourself in order to be conscientious of others
So, there are principles that I teach as a coach, as a relationship coach
Number one, there's no neutral energy
You are either positive or you are negative
Ask yourself, how often throughout the day, just periodically throughout the day, random time
Are you in a good mood? Are you in a bad mood?
Do you know how to get yourself back into a good mood?
I loved that movie, say anything, when literally brother and sister in the movie
They were brother and sister in real life too, John and Joan Q-Sack
He said, this is her...
And she goes, what?
He said, get in a good mood
How hard does it just decide to be in a good mood and then be in a good mood?
And she got the sneer on her face and said, gee, it's easy
And he goes, you used to be twisted and warped and hilarious, used to be fun
And she just kind of got quiet and she said, I was hilarious once and I
He said, yeah, and I miss it
And she kind of whispered, I still am
She just didn't want anyone to know it
That was a special bonding moment
Yeah, we have the capacity
Humans have an amazing ability that machines and animals do not have
One of my favorite jokes that my son taught me, my oldest son told me
I think he was like 12 or 13
It was called the computer's gender
The Spanish teacher was explaining to the class, it was an adult class
That in Spanish words are feminine or masculine
So you don't say the value, you say L or law
Okay, so one of the men said, is it law computer door or L computer door?
And she said, well, do you think it's more like a man or a woman?
And he said, never mind, I retract the question, there's women in the room, I'm not going to tell you what I think
She said, no, let's turn it into a game
Men over here, women over there, get out of pen and paper, write down all the stuff you're thinking about
Men and women in the text
She thought it would be fun, the men were laughing
Stearically as they were whispering and scribbling, she goes, um, you're writing really fast
Why don't we just stop, how many things do you have?
This man, we already got four things
This makes us think a woman, she said, okay, why don't you read them off to me?
Number one, only their creator understands their logic
Number two, they speak a language only they interpret
Number three, they store every mistake you ever make in long term memory
Or number three thousand, number three and number four
You spent half your paycheck on their accessories
And she said, okay, ladies, I'm drowning here, save me
They said, nah, this thing's a guy, we'll tell you why
Number one, they won't do anything if they're not turned on
Number two, you can give them an informational day, they'll never think for themselves
Number three, they claim to solve all your problems, but in life, they're usually the problem
Number four, you know, you just waited six months, you could have had a better one
Ladies and gentlemen, we're going to talk about men and women technology
How we can come back together
It's time to enjoy being together again
If you want to call in and ask a question, the number of the station is 888-627-6008
Getting together, this is the power of synergy, we'll be right back
Back to something, it's the power we can be
When we see what's underneath, not just words but energy
That's the power of synergy
16 ways to see the world, every mind a flag unfurled
What you think is black and white, might be someone else's light
Read between the lines they speak, there's a strength inside the weak
Not just who we show outside, there's a deeper truth
Welcome back to the power of synergy on BBS
I'm Gabrielle Cardona
If you want to call in and ask a question about relationships, you want to ask a relationship
Coach a question, my number is 888-627-6008
Today I'm talking about how artificial intelligence is not a great thing
I think the human factor is really what makes life amazing
It's the oxygen to relationships
And you know what, I have issue with the fact that people are using their animals
as a substitute for their human connections
That's not healthy
Ladies and gentlemen, you are not doing your animals any favor
When you are sucking the life out of them because of the whole you have in your soul
Because you don't want to do the work to get together with people
Look, I grew up in the 80s
My mother from the baby boomer generation, she was the feminist, equality, women, personal power
We're going to beat these men at their game and we're going to succeed
We want equal, people want equal rights
They were fighting all the time with men
It was exhausting for me to be around
What they basically said was if you were barefoot pregnant and in the kitchen
You're a sellout as a woman
If you really want to prove your value
You support us in our cause to be equal
We want power and we want money
And we want titles and the same consideration that
But you're making it seem like men don't like us
It kind of seems like men like us
Why do we have to fight about it?
So this is another thing I teach people as a coach
There's no neutral energy, you're either positive or you're negative
But there's no inertia, you're either moving towards people
Or you're moving away from them
Ask yourself, how often are you coming to people?
How often are you moving away from them?
And when people are done interacting with you, are they in a better or worse mood?
Now look, these are very simple concepts
They're not very easy to apply as principles
But it's very basic
So again, the number of the station is 888-627-6008
Now, I want you to know, again, growing up in the 80s
We had some good music
Yeah, it's some good songs, but I was also listening to songs in the 70s
One of my favorites was the sound of silence by Simon and Garfunkel
Wow, the powerful lyrics was about hearing things that weren't being said
But not really saying things
And the bright lights overwhelming our thoughts
Fool said, you do not know silence like a cancer grows
Yeah, that's what's happening right now
This is 40 years later in word technology
We're on social media, but we're becoming anti-social
We don't know how to be together
And we're texting, we're not picking up the phone talking
And when we are picking up the phone, we're talking to computers, not people
There is not a substitute for human connection
Well, how about cats in the cradle? Oh my god, that one scared the hell out of me
About the father who son said, you know, I want to be with you, dad, let's get together
He said, yeah, we will get together then I'll be done in a minute
I'll be right back
And he never came back and then he was retired and he went to his son
And said, hey, let's get together and his son said, yeah, we'll get together in a minute
And he went, oh my god, my son just became like me
And we want to be together, we just haven't made the time to be together
That's what the way the world is now
You go into restaurants and it literally says no loitering
You cannot be here for more than 30 minutes
Who out there remembers when we would go to a restaurant to eat for two hours?
We would communicate, we would talk, we would have a good time
My daughter and I used to go out to a restaurant once a week without her brothers
And without my husband
That was our special time together
It was horrible food, but we stayed there for an hour to an hour and a half
Because we knew that we could be there having our special moments
Talking about what mattered, communicating
Well, we've been doing this for several years, one day she turned to me and just said, if you ever pull your cell phone out
While you are with me in public, I will divorce you
And I said, honey, my phone is in my purse under my chair on silent
Where is this coming from?
You're kind of scaring me right now
She said, look at that family over there
There was a father, a mother, a son, and a daughter all at the same table
Eating their meals with phones in their hand
They were not looking at each other, they were not talking to each other
And I said, are you worried that I'm going to do that to you, sweetheart?
She said, don't you ever do that to me?
I said, baby, I'm scared of death that you're going to do that to me
I swear, I promise, I will never do it to you if you don't do it to me and we started crying
And we held each other
Okay, look, we have a policy now
My daughter and I have a relationship policy
That when we are together, no technology allowed
Geez Louise, how many children under the age of two have their own cell phones
And five and six year olds have their own tablets
How hard is it to talk to the people you love?
Well, it's getting harder and harder, they call it social media
It's making us very antisocial
Do you believe that technology, artificial intelligence is making us better or worse with each other?
Okay, you know what?
Businesses are taking advantage of that
They're replacing, are you going to an establishment?
And you do not talk to an employee, you have to talk to an electronic device
And if you go to a counter and say, I'm having problems with the electronic device
They are almost angry at you for interrupting the work that they're doing
Okay, yeah, you could be doing something else like putting the food in a bag
But how about you look at me when I talk to you and you listen to me when I speak to you?
Okay, yeah, we become very isolated
Even when we're around each other, we are not together
How much does that concern you?
Now, I teach people the principle of synergy
There's no neutral energy, there's no inertia, you're either moving towards someone or away from them
Wait a minute, what if you're moving with them?
You synchronize, you're together with that person
Then you synergize, that's what the city is
It's when we come together and we have unity, a thought and a purpose
And I love to use the example of numbers because people can then conceptualize
And it's kind of abstract when we're talking about human connection
That's not tangible, that's spiritual
But when I tell people that functioning together
Actually acting together, working together in synchronicity
Whoa, what's our capacity? What's our potential?
Well, okay, so let's use numbers
Three, four and seven, let's say
For the activity that we're doing, I can perform it on the scale of one to ten, I'm about a three
What if my son is a number four, he's a four
And my daughter, she's a seven
Three and four and seven, can you add them together? That's fourteen, look, we've come
But no, with three times four times seven? No, that's eighty four, that's, that's
It's even better than fourteen, but you know what we are, we are three plus four to the seventh power
Or we're three plus seven to the fourth power or seven plus four to the third power
Well, you know what, okay, so seven plus four to the third power
That's one thousand three hundred and thirty one, that's a whole lot more than fourteen
Well, how about seven plus three to the fourth power, ten to the fourth power, that's ten thousand
What about four plus three to the seventh power, that's eight hundred and twenty three thousand five hundred and forty three
Okay, let's think about what we can do together
How do you know what you can create with other people?
If you don't get together, you have got to create unity of thought and purpose
That means uniting with them, the only way you can do that is with communication
The number of the station is eight eight eight six two seven six zero zero eight
What's the hardest thing for you to communicate with people in your life about seeing as everybody wants to get on their phones
Or their tablets or their computers, people even have their laptops on the bus
And this is what I like about Phoenix more than, than Seattle
In Seattle, everybody is looking at their device
In Phoenix, they have their device in their hand, but they're still looking at the people around them
And if you talk to them, they will respond to you, they just probably won't initiate the conversation
Man, in Seattle, I hated it, that when I would talk to people, I would say, excuse me
And they'd say, what do you want, why are you interrupting me?
I'm like, okay, never mind, sorry, my bad, okay, I'll take a step back
How do we get together with people?
We got to find the common ground we have to unify
Communication, well, again, the communication, there's a lot of elements to that
But it's about making sure we understand, we accurately understand
Well, thinking about that joke, there's differences between men and women
How can we get together when we understand each other?
Let's look at our personalities, and that's the other thing I tell people about the numbers
How much do you know about the gifts and talents and strengths and abilities of the people that you're with?
Should you be the exponent, or should you be the base that unifies the group?
Okay, so the number again is 886276008
This is the power of synergy on BBS, I'm Gabrielle Cardona, we'll be right back
Welcome back to the power of synergy, this is BBS radio and I'm Gabrielle Cardona
Now today I'm talking about how animals are not the same as people
Yes, they have better quality interaction than computers
I think we can all agree, you know what, computers make our lives better in some ways
But it's not personal interaction
You know what, a lot of people now, because they don't have that good substantive relationships with people that they use to
Because they're on their electronic devices all day, they're using animals now for their love and support and connection and bonding
And that's very bad, it's bad for the animal, you're not doing the animal any good sucking their life out of them
And you know what, they're not filling the hole in your soul that human connection does
We have the capacity to bond, there's appreciation and respect and trust
You know what, it's an art of people coming together in a harmonious way
You appreciate people's abilities, you respect their intentions and you trust their motives
That's when you bond with people and you can synchronize to synergize with them
That means you need to understand them
So I teach people their personality profile, the strengths and talents and gifts and abilities of each different
There are 16 personality profiles and you say, wait a minute now if we have something that needs to get done
And there are three people who are united in purpose, they respect and appreciate and trust each other
Enough to work together, they've put their machines down and they've said, let's make something happen
Manifest, in a tangible and concrete high quality way
I tell people, everybody does everything
When I teach them their profile for the Myers-Briggs type indicator, it's not about what you exclusively do
A lot of people when they take their test, they say, well I do everything
Congratulations, it's what are you naturally good at?
You're so good at it, it's automatic and it brings you pleasure
Yeah, doing it, you don't even need a reward because it's gratifying
Yeah, and you're impressive in your ability to do it
It's easy and it brings you pleasure and you do it really well, you didn't even need to be trained to do it
Find out what those things are
The dominant function that you have, it's easy for you, it's automatic
You're very, very good at it and it's pleasurable
Well the second level is your auxiliary function
It's not automatic, but you're good at it and it brings you pleasure
Well your tertiary function level, it's not automatic and it doesn't necessarily bring you a whole lot of pleasure
But you can be good at it, you're inferior function, it's not automatic, you don't do it well
It doesn't bring you pleasure, but you know what, you still gotta do it
Find out the people in your life what they're really good at
And then when you communicate, you can say to people what's dominant for you
What's auxiliary, what's tertiary, what's inferior
Okay, so these are my order of activities, so let's let you do this activity
I'll take that one, this other person can do this one
And that way everything is gonna get done, we co-operate
Co-operate means work together, very simple, God
You just need to talk to people, you need to get to know them
I love in Spanish, the word cono ser means to know someone like a person
It's a knowing them, it's understanding them, it's familiarity
Sabeir is knowing information, you don't sabeir, hinte, you don't sabeir people
And you don't cono ser information
You have to spend that time, are people in your opinion
A good return on your investment
The number of the station is 888-627-6008
If you have any questions, especially about the personality stuff
Don't hesitate to call in because it's actually pretty simple
There's a lot of information on the internet right now, it can be kind of confusing
So if you have any questions about the dominant, auxiliary, tertiary, or inferior levels of functionality
Go ahead and give me a call, but when I tell people the art, ART of AM, AIM
You appreciate people's abilities, what is true appreciation?
It's not only placing value on something, when you appreciate something it has value
But it's also gratitude, you are grateful for their gifts and talents and strengths and abilities
And then you're giving them the opportunity to create a high quality life experience for you
Do you believe that there's more joy in giving than in receiving?
When you let that other person give to you and experience the joy that comes from giving to you by accepting their gift
You have done the favor
People say, well I don't need help, you don't have to do that for me, it's okay, I can do it myself
That's because you have an electronic device or some kind of manual machine that's doing it for you
Get rid of all your machines and let the people come back into your life to do things
Then you will appreciate their ability
Wow, that's a whole different kind of energy, social energy
Well respect their intentions
If you understand the mindset of their personality
Then their intentions of what it is that they're trying to do
You can respect even differences
And when you can reconcile your differences
You can say, okay, something that I might have seen before as a potential flaw or an imperfection
Could it actually be a strength or a talent, an opportunity, a resource that I could use in some practical pragmatic way
Usefully productive
That's not only going to benefit us in this situation
It will have an extended effect on the world around us
Because whatever has been created as a result of us synchronizing and synergizing is going to make the world a better place
Then the trusting people's motives
Now this is one, I'm sorry again ladies and gentlemen with technology
People don't trust people at all
And this is happening to me over at the shelter
When I go into the shelter and I stay with the residents there
And I work with the employees there and I say, okay, so I'm doing this right now for my life coaching
Who wants some free life coaching? I'm from BBS radio
They immediately say, what's your agenda?
Why are you doing this? What do you want from us? Get out of here
And I say, I have no agenda
I'm not getting anything out of this, nothing monetary
Nothing from fame or notoriety
I'm not getting any credit for this
I'm just helping people and they say, really? Why?
Why would you be that out of the way?
I say, because it feels good to be good to people
And you know what? It's contagious
It's another thing I love to tell my clients
When you have positive energy, your positive energy is more powerful than negative energy
Keep conquering evil with good
When you have good healthy positive energy
One of three things is going to happen
People are either going to get very upset and walk away
And just say, I don't like this, it's very uncomfortable for me
Or, you know what? They could say, what is that? I kind of want to know more about it
Or they could say, yeah, that's awesome, I'm with you, let's do this
Let's join each other
But you know what? When you have that good positive energy
People are often pleasantly surprised
And they're relieved because the good energy
And the positive spirit that you have
It is contagious, it is more powerful than the negative
And people really do appreciate when they can trust you
And when they know that you're not going to hurt them
Because a lot of the things that we see on technology, on media
Television, on computers and electronic devices
The radio, when, you know, it's not even accurate, it's not true
And it really does seek to create more conflicts
By undermining people's trust and respect
What good is that doing us? None, it really isn't
When we have to know for a fact that our differences are going to be the very things that unite us
And strengthen us
And fortify us, they motivate us
Inspired to be more, well no, be better
Better quality because quality is more important
Than quantity, okay, that spirituality
When you are satisfied and you are gratified
You don't have to be greedy or suspicious or judgmental
If you have a question or a comment, even a comment about what I'm saying today
Go ahead and give me a call 888-627-6008
And when I come back, I'm going to be talking about very personal things that I've experienced
Not only as a wife and mother, but as a relationship coach
Yeah, I'm sure you've had similar ones
And I did get permission from the people in my life to talk about these things
Because, yeah, they are pretty personal, but they're pretty important
So, again, this is BBS Radio, I'm Gabrielle Cardona, we'll be right back
Oh, every soul is speaking loud
Welcome back to the Power of Synergy on BBS, I'm Gabrielle Cardona
Again, the number of the station is 888-627-6008
If you have a question or comment, now I'm going to be talking about some pretty important things
Look, my husband and I have been married for over 30 years
My children are 26, 28, and 31 years old
And I've had a lot of experience, most of the people who have hired me as their relationship coach
Have seen the way that I am with my husband and kids
And they say, wow, you know what? You actually know what you're talking about
And you practice what you preach
And apparently what you are practicing and preaching works
I say, yeah, one of my favorite stories to tell people is when I was, let's see, 25 years, Mary's, we were in Everett
And Everett, Washington, at Starbucks, there was a lady that we saw her there a lot
And when he and I would go there, we would just sometimes need to take a break
And we would hang out and spend some time
And we didn't necessarily get anything because it's very overpriced
And I think it tastes like garbage, but it was our place to kind of just go and recharge with each other
One day a lady asked us, she said, can I ask you a question?
I said, yeah, I was sitting here a couple of times, what's your name?
And she introduced herself and she said, are you two having an affair?
And before my husband could say, no, I said, yes, how did you know?
And she said, because I see you guys here and I just love it, good energy you have, you have so much fun
And you're touching each other all the time and you're both wearing wedding rings, but they don't match
So I know you're both married, but man, you guys must be doing something dirty
And she said, there's no way you could be having this much fun married to each other
And I stopped and I said, wow, actually, yeah, we've been married for 25 years
She said, to each other? I said, yes!
And she said, how do you weigh? Wow, wow!
I said, because we take care of each other, I make sure that when we have something to talk about
I actually talk about it and there are scriptural principles that have been very important to me
Like, don't go to bed angry and if you're not going to talk about something, you need to at least schedule a time
when you're going to talk about it
And, you know, it's back to that joke, women, unfortunately, the women that I grew up around
said things like, well, if you knew, if you loved me, you would know
If you cared about me, you would know what I need
No, you actually have to tell him and it's okay to have to tell your husband what you need
Because the bottom line is, they also lied to me saying, men only care about themselves
And once you get married, he stops caring about you and he's going to cheat on you
That's not true, if you tell a man what's going to make you happy
He would be very happy because you know what, one of my other favorite scriptures is
It's better for a man to sleep alone on the corner of a roof than in the warm bed with a woman who likes to fight
Look, we can either make things better or worse
The very simple principle again, after being with you, is your husband in a better or worse mood from being around you?
Yes, it's very important and when I told my kids, mommy's got to take care of daddy, I'll be right back
The other thing women told me was, no, your husband can wait, your kids are more important
Take care of your kids first, I said, no, I'm going to take care of my husband
Because if we're together, we synchronize, we synergize
We are exponentially better for our children because we're both going to be in a good mood
And we'll get more things done, look, opposites attract
My husband is an ESTP, I'm an INTP
Okay, it's good that we're very different because we're good at different things
But when we talk to each other, when we go to places like this coffee shop
And we have a good time and we both get in a good mood
When we go back home, we are exponentially better for our children
And our kids loved it, and they knew that there were even times and we needed to have sex
And we have sex and we've been in a good mood
And they were absolutely fine waiting
Or sometimes when I said, I'm not going to go to work today
I need to stay home and take care of things for you guys
With you guys, so we're not going to have the food that you generally like
Or we're not going to buy the toy that the other kid down the street has
They said, that's okay, I want to be with you
We like being together
Time, that's what mattered in a quality state
One of the favorite stories that I like to tell people is my middle son
He was my problem child
Yeah, he was a rule breaker, but he and I had a very special relationship
When he was little, I don't know where he heard this
That's what she said, probably from school
He came home and I would say things like, oh man, that was harder than I thought it would be
He would say, oh, that's what she said
My husband hated it, but he knew that I kind of had a sick sense of humor
Like him, so that was our little inside joke
Well, six, seven, eight years old
My husband said, alright, that's it, you're forbidden from saying that ever again
But he and I, we still had this little thing going where
If I said something in a conversation in public and I would be like, oh god, that was so worth the wait
He wouldn't say that's what she said, he would walk by and go, T-W-S-S
And so it was like our inside joke
I loved it, and then my other son was like, no, see, he's saying it, dad, he's still saying it
So by the time he was like 13, 14 years old
He would be on the other side of the room and we had such a great connection
That I would be listening to someone else, what someone else was saying
And not necessarily engaged in the conversation
But if he had any kind of sexual innuendo, he would just look at me and race his eyebrows and grin at me
And he knew that I knew that he knew that I knew that, that was what she said
And it was very important to us
See quality time like that, even when it was stupid little things that we kind of both looked like
We kind of both liked it at me, his dad crazy, that made our bond stronger
But you know what, little things like that, they're not little at all because it's about connection
Or my oldest son, when his brother was in my stomach
And he knew my oldest son was about too, when I was pregnant with his brother
There were stories that he really liked me to read to him
He would get the books out and he would read to my stomach
And my husband came home from work one day and said, does our son know he can't read?
I said, I don't know, but I'm not going to stop him
When his brother was born, and oh my god, this child was huge, he was almost nine pounds
And he wasn't responding to the doctor and he wasn't responding to the nurse or the midwife that I had
His brother came running into the hospital room and said, where's my baby? I want my baby, is my baby born?
His brother lifted up his head and looked around and dropped his head down
And I went, oh my god, she just moved!
Honey, say that again, say something, say something to your brother
And he goes, I'm going to read his story to you, and his brother lifted up his head again
Look, I don't care if an electronic device can read to you
When the book is being read like this, it's not the same thing
And when my son's brother was born, and he had that connection even just from the very first moment he came into the world
That's not something you can buy, and artificial intelligence
And an animal is not the same thing, an animal is not going to be what a human is going to be
With you, to you, for you
That connection can't be bought, you know?
And it's not what you know, it's who you know, because when you have connections with people
And you understand that those relationships are going to be the foundation
Of some of the most important decisions that you make in your life
You know that your time is worth more than money
And the animals that you have, they may give you great affection
And they may accept your affection, that's another thing I realized
It wasn't even because these people wanted to give their love to someone else
It was because they had a genuine hole in their soul from the lack of connection
Valuable, substantive connection, high quality, personal relationship with people
You know what? You're not doing yourself any favors
And you're certainly not doing that animal any favors
By trying to ask of them more than what they are capable of giving
I loved that I was in the Theocratic Ministry School in my congregation
It was a free, free classes that they gave us every week
We learned things like sense stress and modulation, intonation, inflection, volume and pausing
The way you say something is more important than what you say
Look, we think at about 150 words a minute
We speak maybe 120, we read maybe 60, we only text or type about 30
So that's about 70% of what we're thinking never coming out
And we don't have the human element of voice and our facial expression and our body language
How can we get healthy when we come together again when we're communicating, when we're connecting
I'm going to take one last break and you know what? When I come back
I'm going to tell you all the great secrets
Yes, the number to the station is 888-627-6008
How after 30 plus years my husband and I are still like boyfriend and girlfriend
How my kids and I have a really great connection with each other
There are tricks of the trade
You have to change your mindset
So this is BBS radio
This is the power of synergy
I'm Gabrielle Cardona, we'll be right back
Welcome back to the power of synergy
This is BBS
I'm Gabrielle Cardona, a relationship coach
And I started out as a life coach
But I knew that, yeah, there are different things in life that people need help with
The most common factor in every situation
When people were struggling, whether it was with their work, with their home, with their health
With their money, it was about the people in their life
They loved the people and they really did want to work with the people
But they didn't understand that, yeah, you have to invest your time and energy in people
And you have to accept that there are going to be differences
Now, sometimes there are just general principles that are universal
But sometimes you have to be very specific
If you know that someone's will say personality
Means that manual labor, hand-eye coordination activities
Are going to be very difficult for them
You have one of two choices
You can either do that activity for them
And let them do the things that they're good at
Or you can compensate them, show your appreciation
When they have finished
They need maybe time to recover, to re-energize
Because they've just spent a whole lot of energy doing something
That for you would have been easy
Take the time to get to know people
Ask them sometimes, what would you prefer?
Accept what they give you
But most importantly, when you communicate
Make sure you listen twice as much as you talk
That means you need to ask questions
And make sure that they understand what it is that you're trying to figure out
Because when they know
And they do believe and they do trust
That you're trying to be better
Not only for them, but with them
They will appreciate and respect and trust that
Now, one of the things that I really like
It doesn't matter what religion you are
Again, I'm not going to talk about a religious doctrine
But spiritual principles
One of my favorite scriptures was Galatians 6
19 and 20
I think it's 21 and 22
The whole part of the fruitage of the spirit
The works of the flesh
But the fruitage of the spirit
One of the things that said at the end of the scripture
Against these things there is no law
Well, as a young girl, I was like
Oh sure, there is, I'll betcha I can show you
This list of nine different things
There's going to be a law somewhere
People aren't going to agree with
The list of nine things with love
Joy, peace
Long suffering
Kindness, goodness
Faith
And mildness and self-control
Basically, when you behave yourself
People aren't going to get upset with you
Love and joy when you have good positive energy
People, again, they're going to be attracted to it
Or if they genuinely don't like it
They're just going to leave
But what about peace?
That's patience
Yeah, when you say to them
I'm not going to judge you
And I'm not going to hurt you
I'm going to do things
That show that you are important to me
And I'm willing to make a sacrifice for you
That's never going to get you in trouble
Kindness and goodness, that means doing things
Unselfishly
Would absolutely no ulterior motive
Okay, that might scare a few people at first
But when they see that it's the real deal
They will appreciate it
And they almost totally appreciate it
And they will
They will appreciate it
And they will appreciate it
And they will appreciate it
And they almost will want to reflect that back
And they will want to manifest
And give that to you as a gift
Because they will be grateful
Self-control, long-suffering
Well, faith and mildness
When we have self-control
And we know that we could very easily
Say something that would hurt someone else
And we choose not to
When are people going to be upset
That you made that personal sacrifice
Only if you have some ulterior motive
But again, that's about the benevolence
That comes from the unselfishness
If you really and truly aren't trying to get something out of them
And it's because you personally care about them
It's going to change them
It's going to make them want to be a better person
Okay, so now if we're talking about
Things that in life examples that they didn't
People really didn't believe me
About five years ago when I first went to the shelter down in central Phoenix
Because most of the time politics has some ulterior motive
And most people who do things
For the homeless population
Have a political agenda
But when I went there and I stayed at the
At the actual shelter in the beds
That we had two different parts
One was the cast
Where you're assigned a bed
And then there's overflow where you're literally lying on the ground
With a sheet
You don't get a blanket and you don't get a pillow
Yeah, the security guards were some of the most horrible people in the world
When I told people I have a radio show
And I'm putting all of this stuff out for the world to see
And while I'm telling the world about the way you guys treat the people that live here
I'm going to give them free life coaching
Two different things happened
The people that lived there
Said
Wow, you actually genuinely care about us
That created peace within the community
And then the staff who genuinely wanted to make it a better place
The living conditions were completely horrible
They were heinous
But they said you're willing to do this
You're not homeless, you have a husband and kids
You have a house
I said I know but I need to find out what's going on here
And I need to make this a better place
Without being politically aggressive
Without being confrontational
Without being divisive
Without having an ulterior motive
Without being selfish
Actually giving from an unselfish source
For a benevolent reason
In a good and healthy way
That's going to make people better
And it's going to improve the situation
I just have to give a shout out now
To three of the most important people right now
That I know personally in CAS
First of all, Sheila
You know what, this lady
She comes into the dormitories
She gives them games
And entertainment
She has activities
And sometimes when she's in the middle of doing something
Because the men and women's dormitories are different
She spends time even when the activities are over
Just talking to the ladies that live there
And the peace and the harmony
Five years ago, the first time I went there
Everyone was mean
They were defensive and they were afraid
And they were aggressive
Now they're friendly and they're respectful
And they're affectionate and they're encouraging
Because they have someone like Sheila
Literally coming into the dorms
Spending time one-on-one with them
On a daily basis
And there's Jennifer
She's the director of the
Pretty much the company
So she has an administrative but also an executive authority
She comes in every day and gives the ladies an announcement
And says this is what's going on
Yeah, we have the
Amazing opportunity to do a wonderful thing today
In this facility, anybody who wants to join me
You're all invited to join me
Yeah, that's a good way to start the day
And then there's people like Jaslyn
She's a case manager
She's literally the one that the residents go to
To try and get access to community resources
And when they say, yeah, thank you for giving me access to
It wasn't a job, it wasn't necessarily a food commodity
It was clothing or it might have been a social service
I know that if I have a question
You will listen to me
That improves the quality of the energy
Between the people that live there
Even when the security guards are the ones
Threatening them and intimidating them
They know that they can keep going
Now, I've done a lot of work over the last 25 years
As a coach, I have three different books
My website is life- synergy- coaching.com
Yeah, that's got a lot of stuff on it
Four pages, but the three books that I have right now
One is, till death do us part
It's about how to be married to people
Married to someone that you love
How many times do couples love each other?
They just can't live together
I put the secrets to success
Marriage in that book
Then there's the success workbook
It's my life- coaching program
That teaches people how to not only manage their life right now
But define where they want to go
But embrace their modus operandi
As a personality
Do it in the way that's the most natural and organic for you
And then I have the embrace your true nature
That explains dominant auxiliary, tertiary
And inferior levels of function
As well as the four dichotomies
The sixteen letters, but it puts it in very simple language
I said it before and I'll say it again
Ladies and gentlemen, there's no neutral energy
There's no inertia, but knowledge comes with power
Positive is more powerful than negative
Find out what's accurate in your life
What you know, you can be with other people
Four other people
Empower them in a positive way
The number of the station is
888-627-6008
Anytime you want to call in for the show
To ask a question you're more than welcome to
We'll be here the same time next week
On BBS Radio
Thank you so much for listening to the power of synergy
I'm Gabriel Cardona
Have an amazing week
We'll see you here next week
We'll be here next week
Thank you