You remember?
There was a time she stood so tall
A shining light above the soul
Now we rise, yeah we stand again
Bring her back to life, let her spirit rise again
Lucky Champs, hear the call
Girl that music's sexy, alright?
Hello everybody, welcome to Show Lucky Charm
So great to have you and I'm here joined by our lovely friend
Miss Mary Magdalene, hi Mary
Hello everyone
Don't you just love that song?
Yeah, was your description like make me something sexy?
No, is that what it sounds like?
It's very like rock, I don't know, like 80s sexy rock
I don't like that, huh?
Yeah, BBS created it, they're very creative
I like it
So it kind of wakes me up every time
We haven't had the show for about two weeks, how have you been doing?
I've been doing pretty good
There was a change within those two weeks
I had in the previous show told you about
I was going to be playing bass in a band
and I actually stepped away from it
And so that is new, but I feel very relieved that I did
Wow, okay, we talked about that for a minute
Yeah, let's talk about it
That is just so awesome that you're sharing that
because I know from what I know of you
I've been in some kind of band
I know you were excited about this gig
It was a cover for Alanis Morris, correct?
Correct
And you also shared that you love writing
and you recently said you walked away from it
Can you go in a little bit more depth about what happened
and why that sudden decision?
Sure, well, you know, I'll start the letting you know that I started to learn bass
when about three years ago
So that was a fairly new kind of interest, right?
And I have played in a few bands
But I also stepped away from playing bass to write
And so then when I was asked to do this project
and I started to work on the songs
I felt a lot of pressure and felt a lot of regret
that I wasn't spending my time writing instead
Wow
So, you know, and I just walked away from a job
And now, you know, I'm trying to write full time
and it kind of felt like I was trapped in this project
instead of feeling
I don't know, exciting
It felt trapped, I felt trapped instead
Which is a feeling that I have run away from my entire life
Mmm, what do you mean?
Oh goodness, girl, okay, so
as a child, I ran away from home at 14
So do you think it's like
So when you shared that with me, I was so impressed because
you're very, very in-tuned with what excites you and what doesn't
Yeah, I would say that
that is true
and also it has led to impulsive decisions
It's also, okay
Right, so not, I wouldn't say, I don't want to like, you know, make it sound like this amazing, fantastic world
I have walked away from a lot of things that, you know, people wouldn't usually walk away from
Well, I mean, I'm sure it's not easy, right, but what it, is it easier to do something you don't really want to do?
No, and that's the issue, is that
when I feel that way, it's almost like I can't, I can't not do the thing I want to do
Or else it just turns into feeling not so great about how things are going and that's not a good feeling
Yeah, and so I was having that feeling with the, with trying to learn the songs, they weren't, they're not hard songs
But it just took, it takes a lot of time to learn, like, to memorize
a part in a song and I just found myself regretting that I wasn't writing
That's interesting
It's a little bad, I had to tell my friend that, I was stepping away
Yeah, but you know, you're not a prison to your word
No, I just gave myself the freedom to write and now, why would I sign up for something else?
Right, right, and you, I mean, I hate to say, but you may have not been as successful if you just did it just out of obligation
Well, and not just one thing I said, not just that, you know, whether I would be successful or not
But that the other bandmates deserve someone who's all in
And my heart was not all in
Yeah, and they deserve that, they deserve a band member that is all in
Right, so you made room for someone else, right?
Yes, and like I said, it was a relief, a little bit of a relief to get back to writing
And I had another story published yesterday
Awesome
Yeah
That's fantastic, I think if everyone did exactly what they wanted to do
Right
And I have a lot of examples if you want to talk about that
I'm sure, I'm sure, what I was, you know, it's interesting, I didn't really prepare too much for the show
I struggle doing that because I've never really prepared to talk to someone
I mean, I can talk to people sometimes a couple hours at a time and I don't prepare for that, it just happens
So it's kind of where I'm at, but I did want to touch based on what we're talking about right now
I also wanted to cover a little bit about addictions
Okay
Because that's something I had to deal with and recover from
And so if it can help anyone, and I know we talked about talking about ADHD
Yes
Because I really don't know much about it, I feel like I'm ADHD most of the time, but I don't really know much about it
I know you do, so I'd love to talk about that, but yes, if you'd like to continue about talking about this, examples, success stories
I'm sure from the decisions you've made, I would love to hear it, that excites me very much
Yeah, I do want to ask you a question, can I put you on the spot for a second?
Please, of course, that's what I'm here for
So how, what do you feel when you're like, do you tell yourself, oh, I should be preparing for the show and then you don't prepare, like does that go through your mind at all, or you just like, you don't even think about it
I think about it for two weeks
Okay
Every time you tell yourself, I should be doing this thing, what are you choosing to do instead?
Oh, wow, that's a great question, anything but that, anything but that, okay, that's kind of like 88, that's where it's like, for a lot of people, yeah
That's fine, I'm proud of it, because you know, call it whatever you want, it's what it is, because I, it's, I don't, I feel like it comes out a little bit more authentic, a little bit more raw when it's not prepared
I had a friend of mine who was a very successful life coach and he would do speeches nationwide and globally
And he would always say, you know, I'm always asked, what are you going to say when you go on stage, what are you going to talk about?
And his answer was, and he was extremely successful
Right
And his answer was always, I don't know, I'm not there yet
We have, right, and I enjoyed his speeches the most out of other people who were preparing it
And so that kind of stayed with me and that's, so it's not so much that I don't want to prepare, but I feel like it comes out a little bit more realistic if you will
When it's not so prepared and scripted, because if someone's prepared and scripted, I can tell right away and for me personally, they lose me
Right
That's just me, that's just
Yeah, so for me, like ADHD kind of shows up similarly, but it's me thinking, oh I should be doing this, and instead I'm writing a, you know, I can easily write a 2000 word story
But then there's like, maybe even a little bit of guilt that I didn't do the thing
And so, there's some like executive functioning skills like the, it's just, it's hard to get started
If something's boring, like we're still, you just can't do it, you can't, when, you know, I think people generally just do the boring thing, they know they have to do it
So they just do it, right, but I could spend, you know, hours writing a story, writing stories instead of doing a simple task
Mm-hmm, that's interesting
It's, it's, because it's, it's not, it's not creative, it's, you know, what I think what you're saying is
How do you explain it? I don't like to label it as ADHD, that's just me, I feel like that was a label to make it look like there's something wrong
I don't, you know, who's to say what's right or wrong?
Right, you know, right?
I don't know that, I don't know the history of, you know, of where it came from, the label, who originally created, I don't know that
Yeah
I think that, you know, I think that doctors in general make diagnoses, you know, when they see consistent things happening
You know, the same thing with like a flu, right, or a fever, you know, so then if they're seeing something that is happening in a group of people that is not present in the larger population
I think that that's when they decide to make a, you know, a diagnosis
I don't know the history of where it came from
Somebody labeled it, you know, somebody labeled it and then thought, you know, whatever, which is fine, you can call it whatever you want
But some of the most successful people that I'm aware of have that deal with that condition or whatever you want to call it
But what I'm curious is, I know you were a school teacher from K to 12, right?
K through middle school, I was able to teach, yeah, I never taught high school, I had the intention to do so, but never to do it
Did you, in your years of being a teacher, did you notice a lot of kids suffering from that or being labeled?
I did not
So, you know, also I will say that most psychologists, and I know this from having my own children are also divergent
So, I know that psychologists and doctors don't want to label it before a certain age getting an early diagnosis is extremely rare
So, for when I taught kindergarten, there would be maybe one kid a year that would be labeled ADHD
And because it was just where to get the diagnosis at five years old
Interesting
It had to be really present early
Got it
Got it
So, yeah, my daughter was diagnosed when she was five
Oh, wow
So, what, what is, what are some of the signs would you say with that?
Oh, you know, it's so different for so many people
That's, that's the thing that is so hard and
And it's, you know, that's why it's like a spectrum, right?
Yeah
It's just so different, it shows up
My ability to like hyper focus on my story
And not being able to do other things that, like I said, are kind of boring
But that is very ADHD, that is how it presents in myself and my kids
My daughter is an artist, she can spend hours drawing
My sons and musicians, you can spend hours but can't, you know, do a simple task like, you know, remove some trash from the bedroom
Or, you know, and
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, and that's the thing is that, yeah
But people, I think that people who don't have ADHD, they don't struggle with that
It's not a, it's not a, I really should do this thing, the simple task
They just do it, they just, okay, I'm going to do it, they're done, they go back to what they were doing
Just doing it is so hard, it seems impossible when it's like something so small
But it's also like, well for someone, let's say who is okay taking the trash out and more technical and has no problem doing that stuff
They can't do what your daughter's doing
True, so there, there are some pros and cons
Paint, yeah, I mean, I, I will say that my life will show that there are some pros and cons to it
My ability to just make a decision without dwelling on it for, you know, a long time
And just do something that most people wouldn't do, that can be a benefit, you know, it's not always, but for the most part, it is
You know, my, I made a decision to quit my job many years ago when I was teaching elementary school to move to, to move to Spain by myself, I didn't know anybody, I didn't know the language
That's so awesome
I just made a decision and I did it
I didn't know it felt right
And it worked out and it worked out
And then I came home and I was unhappy that I came back and so I moved to Hawaii for a year
And so, you know, I've done a lot of things, I think a lot of things, a lot of travel by myself that most people wouldn't do on their own, especially females
Right
And it's just, you know, I've left jobs, I've moved homes, when I was younger, once the lease was up for the year, I had to move
I could not stay in the same place, I had to move
What's wrong with that?
That's what I'm saying, people don't usually need to do that
I understand
I get it, but you know, that's why, why do we all have to be the same?
No, we don't
We don't?
Yeah
So, I've also left, you know, relationships in ways that I'm not very proud of
My, for example, my first husband, such a nice man
I got, we bought a house together, he came from a very nice family
You know, we weren't struggling, it was, we had a boat, we had two cars, we had a new house, we were in our early twenties
And I was being told that I was going to get a trust fund in my name, and I felt trapped
And these are things that would make people happy, and people would, you know, stay for these things
Instead, I decided to leave and just didn't come home one day, I left all my things behind
And just never came home and rented an apartment 40 miles away
This is so interesting, go ahead
And that, that, he didn't deserve that, I'm going to be honest
But I, I didn't take a thing, I didn't take anything
And so he also had to, you know, I look back on that, I'm like, oh, that was kind of, that wasn't the nicest thing to do
Because he had to get rid of all my things
And, you know, I didn't make him sell the house, I didn't ask, I just wanted out
Wow
I just want out, and I felt trapped
And so, that's what I mean when
What do you mean when you say you felt trapped? What does that look like?
What's your definition of being trapped?
I guess it's kind of like a feeling, a feeling of living someone else's life, not mine
Not my chosen
Not being true to yourself
Yeah
So what's wrong with that?
Well, there's, I don't think there's anything wrong with having ADHD or having these things
It's just different, it's just different than what I think most people present
So I don't think there's anything wrong with it
I mean, although I will say the one thing that's wrong with it
Again, he didn't deserve that treatment
Well, no one does
No one deserves to get hurt, of course, but here's the thing
Thank you for talking about this, by the way, hopefully we're, you know, helping some
The thing is, when something ends
It's never a happy ending, no matter how it ends, or it wouldn't have ended
Right, yeah, right, yeah
Sure, I don't think that people would just not come home
I agree, but you know, there's other worse ways
For sure, right?
Yeah, I'm just saying
The ending is never a fun thing for anybody
Yeah, I guess my thought then was I didn't want to go through the motions of trying to fix something that I knew
I wasn't going to be fixed and I didn't want fixed
That's interesting
I had made the decision already, and once I made the decision, that was it
So you were being true yourself, right?
Yeah
You didn't harm anybody physically
You weren't vicious or malicious, you just said no
I wasn't malicious, it wasn't on purpose, I didn't want to hurt him, but it hurt a lot
And it was a struggle for him and his family
I was part of their family
To my ex-mother-in-law, I was her daughter
And it was really hard on his family, the whole family
I was very close with all of them
So, you know, I didn't want, I didn't intend to hurt them, I didn't think about
What my actions were due, I just did it
And so there are some, that's what I'm saying, there are some pros and cons
I felt I'm glad that I did, I'm glad that I was true to myself
I wouldn't have ended up in Spain or living for years or living in Hawaii
I'm not even having my own children
So, but I do think it's important to look back and go like, oh, I should learn how to do this with a little more grace
You know, it's okay to leave, but maybe with a little more grace
Like leave a note, leave a message
Dear John, at least a note, you know
I get it, I understand, I totally get what you're saying
However, unfortunately, when we make a decision to be true to ourselves, when we commit to that, people get hurt
Yeah
And my thing is, well, wait a minute, if you really love me and you care about me, you'd be happy for me
And not get hurt
You know, so that's kind of where, but I get it, you know, there's some decisions I've made that maybe family or whatever they don't understand
But they've been really good about it, you know, like you talked to my son, you know, how, you know, he was happy about it
Yeah
You know, so that's cool, but they weren't at first
You know, whoa, whoa
I think two things can be true, that people can't support you and still be hurt
You know, there is still that
Of course
The grieving of the loss, there's still a loss, you know
Of course
For a routine of, you know, part of their life, when we come in and out of people's lives
We become a part of their lives too
And when someone, when something changes or someone leaves, then that's hard on people
And so, you know, people can fill the grief and also support, and I think that's where
So since getting the diagnoses, you know, I was an adult when I got it
A lot of things were like, oh my God, that makes so much sense
And it helps me to, I did some research, I think a lot of people do this when they get diagnosed
They do some research and they start connecting some dots and it kind of helps you understand yourself
And also kind of forgive yourself for, you know, and I think even maybe build some confidence
Because you always kind of know that you're different
You just need to keep it all
I always knew I was different, I knew I was different growing up
And I always blurted things out and said what was on my mind and very like brutally honest
And that got me in trouble a lot of times
But, you know, so once you start researching
You start to understand
I feel like my nervous system calmed down a little bit
Hmm, interesting
Yeah, and then I can kind of, before
Well, I'm still impulsive, I'm not going to lie
I'm still honest
But, you know, I do stop and think about it sometimes first
I better add it
Very, very, that's interesting
It's, you know, it's a vast subject and I guess depending on who you talk to they'll have their own opinion
Right
And again, I will say I just don't believe that there's a right or wrong
And we're just experiencing what we're experiencing
Right, I agree with that
You know, and people who care and love about you
You know, because you would support someone like, like if you had a party or whatever just to be extreme
And last minute I say I can't come because for some reason I don't feel or my compass in my heart is saying, you know
Maybe you shouldn't go
I don't think you'd be mad at me, would you?
I, about 10 years ago, I probably would have not been mad, but very hurt
So there is, that I did have that experience growing up
And it is something that people with ADHD actually have
And a lot of people do experience this, is it's called rejection sensitivity
And so I worried a lot when I was younger about rejection
I tried really hard to please my teachers, my coaches
And if someone criticized me, I would end up in tears, it hit hard
Or, you know, so that 10 years ago, before I had the diagnoses
I would have been hurt, I would have been very hurt if you still could have come
Now that I know that that's part of how it presents to me, I'm not hurt anymore
So that's what I mean about, you know, once I got the diagnoses I learned more about myself
And I learned like, oh, this is something that I experienced and now it makes sense
Because you know it's not about you, right?
Right, and so then I'm able to kind of think about it in a different light
And I didn't know that until I started researching that, that was something that people with ADHD experience
Now I would be totally fine
Hmm, yeah, that's good, you know, I'm there with you on that one, I have to say
Yeah, I'm definitely in agreement with you on that one
Before no, now it's like, okay
Yeah, yeah, and you know, I think that for me relationships have always been kind of hard
Sure
Friendships, partnerships, I really enjoy spending time with people and then it kind of loses its novelty
And it's not that I don't like the people anymore, but it's kind of like I feel like I need to move on or I'd rather be alone
And I'm in a stage right now where I'm not lonely at all, but I am often alone
And I'm absolutely happy with that
It feels less complicated
It's easier
It's yeah, I don't have to pretend for anybody and that's something that, you know, people with ADHD will often do is they take the social cues around them and they like mimic them back and it's exhausting
Like after, I don't know if I mentioned this tea before, but after I go out and socialize, I need like two or three days to just not talk to anybody
Yeah
Like I can't
That's interesting
Yeah, I can definitely be that way, depends where I'm at I suppose
But it's, you know, it's funny, it's not funny, you mentioned that, but being happy with yourself
I mean, that's the most important relationship anyway
Right
People who can't be alone
You know
Yeah
And again, I will say that
That didn't come until after the diagnosis because then
It kind of like, it all makes sense now
I am different, and this is how I'm different and now I understand myself and it's not like something's wrong with me
I do try to use, you know, the ADHD superpowers, there are some
Yeah
To, you know, my benefit
What's the one advice or maybe more than one advice you can give to someone who is
Noticing, they're kind of dealing with that, I suppose
The ADHD, again, not that it's a bad thing or a negative thing, but maybe someone just doesn't want to be that way or whatever
Where would you tell them to start?
Well, I would, I can tell you how I started
You know, I think everyone's experiences, you know, is different
I started with a lot of meditation
I then moved on to therapy
And just talk therapy, just having someone to talk to
I, one thing I stopped doing was I stopped
I stopped entering in toxic relationships, I think that was something that I did a lot
Just because I wanted to be included and so, or like
And so I would make, I would be friends, some toxic people and
So, you know, there's a lot of progression, you start small, start with them, you know, meditating, start with
Or how I did, that's how I did it
Anyway, therapy, talking to someone is really good, it helps you see other people's perspective
Now that's something that I will say therapy helps with a lot because I wasn't always able to understand perspective
Or other people's perspective
So, you know, while my first husband probably thought, well, we can work this out in therapy at least
In my mind, it was, we already have the problem, this isn't going to go anywhere, why are we going to waste that time?
Mm-hmm
But a therapist can help you see the other person's perspective
And I think that's, I think that's beneficial, especially when someone's struggling with that
Yeah, because then you kind of like, oh, that's why they do that, that's why they, you know, it just helps you understand other people better
That are, you know, I guess normies
Normies, I love that word, love it, love being a normie
It's, you know, it's a pretty depth conversation
What are the things that can also relate to all this addiction?
People think addiction is only to, you know, harmful substances or alcohol or drugs or smoking
But it can also relate to how we act and how we respond to things
And how we think, you can be addicted to toxic people, for example, you know, and not realize it
Or you could, so I think the addiction behavior plays a little bit apart in what we're talking about if I'm not missing
Because it's, an addiction is something you do over and over again before you know it, it just becomes a habit
Right, right, and then you get labeled for it
Right, so that can be a pattern that can be right
I could see, okay, so in my previous life, you know, 10 years ago, 20 years ago
Yeah, and I say that because I am different now and I've been evolving since I was born
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm
So I'm still not in my final form, but I was
It was very important for me that when I entered a possible, you know, relationship, be it friendship or partnership
There had to be this intense connection, the connection between us had to be very intense, a lot of passion
And if that didn't happen, I could not be friends
So maybe we could say that in that sense, I was addicted to that feeling of intense passion
Maybe, yeah, maybe
I never thought about it as an addiction, but now I'm not the same, I'm not
Well, you know, and that could be because it didn't work out, any of those two
Yeah, I mean addiction, addiction is not, it doesn't have to be a negative thing, you can be, you can be addicted to something good
You can be addicted to eating healthy
Well, I'll tell you, I'm addicted to being alone
Interesting
I mean, with my children here, obviously alone in the sense of having other adults around
Uh-huh
I prefer to be alone
Yeah, sometimes it's, I don't know, I guess that can seem strange to
Nothing strange, nothing strange
If anything, I feel so special, thank you
I'm honored
Yeah, you are one of like four adults I talk to
Thank you, I'm so, so honored, Mary, thank you so much for that
Um, it's, you know, again, it could, an addiction is not necessarily a bad thing, it's just
I guess it's bad when it's something that's affecting you negatively and then you just can't stop doing it, I suppose
But, um, yeah
You know, when I was younger, I did, like, smoke cigarettes, right, and I did for many years, and then
My first husband, you know, we were, we weren't so in love, we were like soulmates
We had an amazing relationship, but then when, um, when we were going to get married, he was like, you know, I would really like you to quit smoking before we get married and all that
And I was like, okay, no problem, and like, that was it, the next day I stopped
Wow
It was something that was able, once I made a decision, you know
But then at the same time, I remember getting a tattoo, and I was told, you know, that's probably enough tattoos, and like, the next week I secretly went and got another
Of course, of course, really
So, yeah, and people can be tempted to getting tattoos, right, that's for sure
Exactly, again, it's not a negative, an addiction, it's just something, you know, you do over and over again
And you just can't stop doing it, but it's really not a bad thing at all, so I don't want it to give it a bad rap, but if someone, you know, I smoked for 30 years
Yeah
And I quit, so it was hard, but I guess what am I trying to say, if anyone's dealing with an addiction or
They want to stop something, and they're not able to do it, I think that's when it becomes a problem
Exactly, right, when they really want to stop this thing, but they can't because they're holding all their cells in their body is just screaming for it
And so, yeah, you know, yeah, and that's why, you know, that's why it's so important to get help when you're at that moment, you know, and there are lots of organizations and groups that you can join from my understanding
I've tried so many things, I tried so many, it didn't work, and so
Oh really?
Yeah, it's just, oh my God, I was like, ah, can someone quit for me, you know?
It didn't work, and then, honestly, it doesn't work until you're totally ready, and what I found was it takes 21 days to make or break a habit
Okay
This saved me, and this can save people in different areas of life, I think
I just, I thought, okay, I'm going to do this for 21 days, and I literally took a marker on my bathroom mirror, because so that I would see it every day, it would be in my face
And every one day I would mark a day, and I was like, if I can do this for 21 days, I'm good
Right
And it worked
Oh, that's awesome
Yeah, it worked 21 days
So fantastic
So with anything, with anything at all, I think that can work, so if it's something, I don't know, someone desires or wants, and they don't know, this is something I definitely want to talk to you about creation and manifesting
and aligning, maybe on the next show, but you know, that's something that can work, just
Either don't do it for 21 days, or do something for 21 days, and you'll have it, that's really that simple
Yeah, I mean, sure, we are creatures of habit, right?
Right
Yeah, and we can talk about manifesting things, but I think you have your right on
When I really want something, I will put in action every single day for a very long time until it happens
And, you know, so you can manifest and you can also leave things, I think, that's, yeah
So when you come to the decision, you're actually using your compass first, right? Your heart, your desire, your
heart, what excites you, and then you use your brain to execute it. Love that word, right?
Yeah, I guess when I come to decision, I usually am using my dopamine
And then, or like whatever idea is, like, a truly exciting release of that dopamine
And then, you know, a lot of times, you know, if we're going to talk about it, I will write something that I want down on paper. I'll say, I have, I'll say it out loud.
And then if I do that several days in a row, I'll start putting action towards it, physical action towards the thing. You know, anything you manifest also requires physical action.
You know, it's, you know, a million dollars going to show up on your doorstep.
Sorry to say it's not. And, you know, and if you don't write stories, you're not going to get published. You know, just exactly. So you have to put in the work to.
Yeah, absolutely.
It's the part I don't like.
So, yeah, that's what they, you know, for me, the writing, I love the writing. And so it doesn't feel like work.
And so I finally found I've gone through so many hobbies.
You would have no idea. I used to mean.
I used to do photography.
I played bass, you know, the singing.
Yeah.
Writing is the first thing that I feel really.
Is going to hold, it's going to hold me. And I think the reason is, is because.
I, for one, one reason I think is, you know, any trauma, any childhood trauma that I have.
I get it out and I write a story about it.
And then it almost feels like I can just let it go then. You know, just.
But then also.
I can, I create new stories.
So that ability to write something new.
Is always, I hope going to give me.
Got good feeling because it's new. It's still new. Every story is new.
And so it doesn't feel the same. It doesn't feel, it does. I don't feel trapped because I'm not trapped in one story for a very long time.
Keep writing new ones.
I play around with different genres, different points of view, like my writing is all over the place.
Different lengths. So it's, there's a lot of.
Freedom in writing.
I bet.
You know, that that's why they say journal.
You know, yes, I need to do, but I, I'm almost sure that.
And maybe not. Maybe I'm mistaken, but someone out there might be thinking, okay, well, how are you going to make money from all this? Right?
For the, for the ones who don't have ADHD.
I'm not sure how to word this, but you know what I mean.
For the ones who are thinking, you know, I got to work, I got to make money. How do I pursue? How do I just do something?
The way people usually function is they make sure they can make money from something and then go pursue it. Right?
Sure.
So how, what, what advice can you give? Because I know you've done a lot of that and you've been totally fine.
My story is wild though, and I don't recommend it for anybody.
That's okay.
It's a story.
It's, you know, you just find a way. That's kind of, that's kind of how it's always been for me. You just find a way.
I have, I am currently in a position where I'm lucky to be in a position where I can just write and I'm not struggling in that sense.
But, you know, like financially, I kept my job as a teacher for much longer than I probably would have liked, I think.
Because of, you know, the responsibilities of having children and, you know, wanting a place to live.
Sure. Sure.
But I think that if you really want something you can find a way, you know, and it might take years to get there.
If you really want it, then you're not going to stop till it happens.
That's what I wanted to get. If you really want something, right?
Yeah.
And, you know, you, you hear that with people who are successful a lot, you know, they just didn't stop all, you know, nothing.
Most people, I think experience isn't that they became successful from the beginning. It was always that trajectory.
There, there are hardships, you know, yeah.
You know, financial issues, there are struggles, there are times you want to give up, but you just don't.
And when you keep pushing through those hard times, then eventually you'll get to the other side.
And it won't be so hard.
But, you know, I mean, I've had a lot of difficulties in my life.
And there were just some things that were just non-negotiables. I was going to do it no matter what.
So even though I dropped out of high school, I knew I was going to go to college.
And so I found a way to do that.
I finished, I finished high school in six months. I did something called challenge the finals. I didn't have to do any score.
I passed the finals and I, I passed the class and I started college at 15.
It was all of high school in six months.
Yes.
Oh my God, we got duped.
Right.
It wasn't until I got to college that I finally felt like I was among people that were more like me in high school. I struggled.
Oh, yeah.
Socially.
Yeah, with all the different expectations in high school and stuff.
I am not sad that I missed prom at all.
Right.
Right.
This is, this has been really cool. I hope that, you know, some of these things strike something with, and, you know, I was telling one of my friends.
I was like, Oh my God, what am I going to talk about?
Everything I talk about has already been talked about, right? And she said, no.
It, it, maybe your way of explaining it will be different.
And some one person might hear it and make a difference with someone. And so that kind of made sense. So even if one person hears this and, you know, we can help, why not?
Absolutely.
We have what? Let's see. What did I.
So eventually I would love to take calls. I know we're running a little bit short on time right now. It's maybe two minutes left.
But eventually I would love to take calls from anyone who can resonate with this information or dealing with addiction and, you know, whatever, maybe that we talked about.
We'd love to hear from you. Of course, you can also email us through BBS.
And I just wanted to thank you, Mary, for being here with me again.
And I just love your energy and you have a lot to contribute. Thank you. Thank you so much.
Thank you. Yeah. But we will follow up in two weeks and we'll chat later, my dear.
Right. Sounds good. Thank you. Everybody have a fantastic Saturday and we'll see everyone again here in two weeks. Have a great day.
Bye.
Bye.