Reconnecting with Your True Nature: How Personality, Purpose, and Trust Create Synergy

Speaker Identification

Speaker 1 – Prerecorded Theme Vocalist / Musical Interlude Voice
This speaker performs the opening, closing, and transitional song lyrics. The vocalist’s identity is not stated in the transcript.

Speaker 2 – Gabrielle Cardona, Host
The host repeatedly identifies herself as Gabrielle Cardona and describes herself as a life and relationship coach and MBTI practitioner.

Speaker 1 – Prerecorded Theme Vocalist / Musical Interlude Voice:

We are more than what we see.
Every voice, every story holds the key.
Together we rise in this energy.

Different faces, different pain,
different stories, same refrain.
Trying to find a place to stand,
trying to feel a guiding hand.

What you say and what you mean,
life is somewhere in between.
Every action has a cause,
every heart behind the walls.

If we listen, we can hear it.
If we look, we can see it.
There’s a pattern in the soul;
every piece can make us whole.

The power of synergy,
understanding you and me.
Every difference, every truth
leads us back to something new.
It’s the power we can be
when we see what’s underneath.

Speaker 2 – Gabrielle Cardona, Host:

Welcome to The Power of Synergy on BBS. I’m Gabrielle Cardona, a life and relationship coach, as well as an MBTI practitioner. I have been in the mental health industry, in one way or another, for about 40 of my 50 years on the planet.

I knew that I wanted to be something better than a shrink, although my son will just call me a shrink in denial. At a very young age, I knew that I did not agree with the mental health and pharmaceutical industries of the United States because, in my view, they really like to label people and pump them full of drugs.

About 30 years ago, shortly after I got married and started having children, I saw something on television about a life coach. I thought, “What’s that?” The coaching industry was this whole new genre of helping people, and I thought, “You know what? Coaching sounds good. I don’t want to label people as mentally ill and pump them full of drugs that just make them feel worse.”

Coaching gives you a strategy and equipment to score in the game of life. That means you are going to win a game, rather than feel bad about yourself after verbally vomiting for an hour.

My mom took me to a lot of shrinks. She basically said, “Fix my daughter.” They would say, “No, she’s not fixable, and you’re not really going to like what we have to tell you. Do you want to hear all the gory details?” She would say, “No, I’ll just take her somewhere else until I hear what I’m going to do.”

That’s my husband calling me.

What I tell people now is that, most of the time, you are actually not mentally ill. What I noticed simply from being married and raising three children is that the exact same people can do the exact same thing in different ways. Wait a minute: if you do the same thing in a different way, does it mean something else? Different people can also do the same thing for different reasons. Wait a minute—now that makes it more complicated. Actually, no; it makes it simpler.

Today I’m going to be talking about reconnecting with yourself. You do not have to be labeled as mentally ill, but you do need to synchronize to synergize. That is important. You need to know who you are in order to connect with other people.

When I told people on LinkedIn—because I have more than a few groups, connections, and followers—that I would be discussing how being disconnected undermines our synergy, I thought the first thing I should do on the show today is define synergy.

Let’s go ahead and Google it. If you look up synergy, Wikipedia will say it is the combined effect of two or more entities, groups, or elements working together to produce a result greater than the sum of their individual efforts.

Wait a minute. Basically, we do not simply add to one another; we empower and facilitate one another. Let’s think about that quantitatively. If one person is a three and the other person is a six, we are not nine when we combine. We are not even 18. We are six to the third power, which is 216. But what if we are three to the sixth power? That is 729, ladies and gentlemen.

Do you know the potential you have when you combine your effort, time, skills, and abilities with someone else and unite with them? You can do amazing things in the world. You can make positive, proactive changes. It is just a matter of knowing how to do it. What are the tricks?

If you have any questions today, I am going to open the phone lines. You can call the station at 888-627-6008. I am going to talk about several ideas and concepts, combining them throughout the show so the pieces come together to form the whole picture. This is not only about getting together with other people to empower them, but also about making sure the version of yourself you allow them to connect with is high quality.

When you have a good, high-quality version of your soul—your heart, mind, body, and spirit—you make other people’s lives exponentially better. Is it important to know what quality state you are in? Yes, because there is a difference between being detached and being disconnected.

What is the difference? They sound like the same thing, but they are not. Detachment is about what is around you externally. Disconnection is from yourself. That is really the crux and the bottom line: what is going on outside you in your external world, and what is going on inside you? How well do you know yourself?

This is something I love to tell people: I think Spanish is a superior language for this one word, conocer. That means to know someone as a person. It is different from saber, S-A-B-E-R, which means knowing information.

We are not a list of details and facts on a sheet of paper. We have features, facets, and elements. We do and are many things in many ways. When we know who we are, we can say to people, “This is who I am. This is what I think, feel, and need, and this is what I can bring to the table.”

This is where the power truly comes from. What I am offering you is a very high-quality version of my gifts, talents, strengths, and abilities.

Ladies and gentlemen, there are three principles of synergy. First, there is no inertia. We are always moving. We are moving toward one another, away from one another, or with one another.

Second, there is no neutral energy. You are either positive or negative.

Third, power comes with accountability, not just responsibility. Do you believe you are truly accountable not only for the things you say and do, but also for the things you think and feel around people?

People now, especially in 2026, have technology dictating nearly everything they do throughout daily life. We have detached from one another personally because we are doing everything electronically. But how often do we not even know what is going on inside us because we are so focused on what is happening around us?

Again, the station number is 888-627-6008.

Before I take a break, I want you to think about a rhetorical question: What do you think is worse—doing something that you are not, or not doing what you truly are?

Obviously, those things can happen at the same time, so it can be hard to identify the difference and specify which one is occurring at any given moment. But when you stop and think about it, what is worse in life: being something that is not true and organic to you, or stifling and inhibiting what is?

They have different effects in different situations and circumstances, and they are both harmful. It is a question of whether the harm is directed toward other people or yourself. Although they can happen at the same time, they are distinct issues.

We are going to take a quick break. Again, the station number is 888-627-6008. Feel free to call at any time during this hour if you have a question about what I am discussing. I may be moving a little fast for some people, but this is good information, so stick with me.

Thank you so much for listening. This show is very special and important to me personally. This is The Power of Synergy on BBS. We will be right back.

Speaker 1 – Prerecorded Theme Vocalist / Musical Interlude Voice:

It’s not just words, but energy.
That’s the power of synergy.

Sixteen ways to see the world,
every mind a flag unfurled.
What you think is black and white
might be someone else’s light.

Read between the lines they speak;
there’s a strength inside the weak.
Not just who we show outside;
there’s a deeper truth inside.

If we learn to understand,
we can finally take a stand—
not against, but side by side.
[Unclear sung lyric.]

The power, the power of synergy,
understanding you and me.
Every difference, every truth
leads us back to something new.
It’s the power we can be
when we see what’s underneath.
Not just words, but energy.

Speaker 2 – Gabrielle Cardona, Host:

Welcome back to The Power of Synergy on BBS. Again, the station number is 888-627-6008. If you have any questions or comments, or want to contribute your personal opinion about these topics and themes, please feel free to call.

In the first segment, I talked about synchronizing. To synergize, we have to get in sync with one another. We have to be doing the same thing—maybe not the exact same activity, but at least for the same reason or in the same way. There has to be unity of purpose, and that will be the foundation for our united performance.

Think about this: How often would you say you are detached, and how much of that is actual disconnection? Again, detachment is from other people and other things, but disconnection is personal.

Some people have had to turn off parts of their soul as a survival mechanism. My husband came from a place in Mexico that was very survivalist—survival of the fittest. When we got married, I said, “Honey, why are you doing that? That’s very strange.” He said, “Because you just don’t know. You don’t know what’s out there, and you have to survive in the world we live in.”

I said, “Okay, but I have never had to do that, and it is working pretty well for me. I don’t know why you believe that. Your experience has told you that, but let’s try something else.”

I explained something that is very personally important to me: positive is more powerful than negative. It is the concept that you can conquer evil with good.

One of two things will happen when you send out positive thoughts, feelings, and vibrations and display them through your behavior and speech. You are basically telling people, “I have a very healthy world that you can enter if you want to share in that high-quality state of being with me.”

People will either be pleasantly surprised and say, “You mean I can actually share that with you? Okay, I’ll stop being whatever I am being right now, because that feels good,” or they will become angry, upset, and frustrated and try to undermine you.

When you maintain positive energy and say, “Actually, I do not like that negative energy or activity, so I am not going to participate in it. I am going to continue being positive, proactive, and upbuilding. If you want to join me, you are welcome to change the way you are being, because I am not going to become negative,” then truly toxic people will probably go away.

Ladies and gentlemen, do you believe most people are inherently evil or negative and want to hurt you? No, they do not. Most of the time, they are one of four things. I call them the four I’s: ignorant, indifferent, impotent, or incompetent.

If you create good-quality energy with people, synchronize with them, and synergize with them, you can get past those issues. They may be ignorant and simply not know. They may be indifferent because they have disconnected from themselves and turned off part of who they are. They may be impotent because they do not have the power to carry out what they really want to do in their heart. Or they may be incompetent because they do not have the skills, or at least not high-quality skills.

Let’s go back to the energy and the numbers. If you have six and three, add one to improve the quality. Seven to the third power is 343, which is considerably more than 216—more than 100 greater—just because the quality was improved a little.

Now let’s reverse seven and three. What if you say, “But I’m only a three,” and someone else says, “I’ll be the exponent”? Three to the seventh power is 2,187. That is much more than 343.

Ask yourself: Are you the base or the exponent in a relationship? When you bring yourself into a higher-quality state, you can have a significant impact on people. You have the opportunity to be impressive.

Unfortunately, the world we live in is very much about self-centered pursuits, narcissism, “me first,” and “more, more, more.” Let’s think about this in terms of spirituality. There is balance, but you can also be centered.

That is again the difference between internal and external. Balance is about what is around you. Being centered is internal.

If you have something in abundance, you have more than you need externally. But when it becomes excessive, it penetrates you internally, to your core, and you become off balance.

Ballet was my whole life through childhood, adolescence, puberty, and young adulthood. It helped me understand that spinning around on your toes with your arms and legs moving all over the place was not simply about balance; it was about being centered.

The tiny spot on the tip of my pointe shoe had to carry my entire 110, 120, or eventually 130 pounds of weight. The line from the top of my head, through the center of my body, and all the way down to the tip of my toe where the shoe met the ground had to be straight.

How hard was that when my arms and legs were doing many other things? I maintained that line by being very aware of everything happening inside me.

Do you know what is going on inside you? What is the status? What is the quality? Quality is more important than quantity.

We are going to talk more about being the base number as opposed to being the exponent. What do you believe your gifts, talents, strengths, and abilities are? Can you say to people, “Look, I have the potential to do phenomenal things in the world. Do you want to join me? Do you want to be with me?”

People may be having a hard time because they are detached or disconnected. Maybe they have one of the four issues: they are ignorant, indifferent, impotent, or incompetent.

If they see and hear you demonstrating strength, ability, flexibility, and endurance, you inspire and motivate them to become a higher-quality version of themselves.

You may think saying, “I don’t care; I’m indifferent,” is a get-out-of-jail-free card. I’m sorry, ladies and gentlemen, but indifference is negative energy. Again, there is no neutral energy. You are either positive or negative.

If you say, “I am getting toxic here, so I need to take a step back,” that can be useful. In ballet class, the teacher would literally say, “You are off center. Get away from the group, recenter yourself, and when you have it back together, you can return to the group.”

Whether you want to believe it or not, you will have an effect on people. It will be either positive or negative. Putting the oxygen mask on yourself first has to serve the ultimate goal of being beneficial to the whole group.

Again, the station number is 888-627-6008. Feel free to call if you have a question or comment about what we are discussing.

In the next segment, I will talk about the idea that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Do you have to know what that involves in order to have a good and effective impact on others?

This is The Power of Synergy on BBS. I’m Gabrielle Cardona. We will be right back.

Speaker 1 – Prerecorded Theme Vocalist / Musical Interlude Voice:

In silence, there’s a reason.
In the chaos, there’s a meaning.
Every soul is speaking loud,
if we only slow it down.

No more guessing who we are.
We’ve been brilliant from the start.
When we see with open eyes,
we don’t divide; we unify.

It’s the power,
the power of synergy,
breaking walls and setting free.
Every voice and every mind,
finally seen, finally alive.

It’s the power of truth
we couldn’t see.
Now it’s right in front of me.
Not just people—destiny.
That’s the power.

Speaker 2 – Gabrielle Cardona, Host:

Welcome back to The Power of Synergy on BBS. I’m Gabrielle Cardona, a relationship coach.

I actually started as a life coach, but people said, “A life coach? That’s too vague and general. You have to have a niche, an area of expertise, or a specialty.” This was about 15 years into my work; I have now been doing this for more than two decades.

When people told me I needed an area of expertise, I thought about what people had been coming to me for. Sometimes they wanted help managing their time. Sometimes it was about money, finding a career, or dealing with family members who were driving them crazy.

The only consistent theme in all those situations was getting the people in their lives together with them—on the same page and working in cooperation rather than competition. Trust, appreciation, and respect sometimes needed to be established, but in most cases they needed to be strengthened, refined, and improved. People needed to get back together.

Before the break, I said we would talk about how an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Do you believe people are worth the investment? Are people a good return on your investment?

Relationships require time, money, energy, and effort. What do you invest in your relationships? Ask yourself that. Again, the station number is 888-627-6008.

When you think about what relationships truly require, do you understand that we are built to have connections? We are not like animals, and we are not solely about survival. Survival is about having babies and then killing one another so that whoever is strongest does not die. We are not like that.

We want to synchronize and synergize because, when we know we have the potential to do exponentially more—not only in quantity, but also in quality—we become more willing to make sacrifices.

Let me ask another rhetorical question. Sacrifice requires surrender. Is surrender the same as giving up? No, it is not.

Surrender means you remain personally invested in what you are doing. You are committed to the work, and you perform a higher-quality version of what you would have done before because you are no longer in a power struggle with the person with whom you are operating and functioning.

Do you know how many people in your world truly think highly of your ability? Let go of your need to control everything and force things that may not be meant to happen. That is an important foundation for trust.

Let’s return to the very important ART—appreciation, respect, and trust—and what I call AIM. The A in ART is appreciation. The A in AIM is ability. The R in ART is respect. The I in AIM is intention. Do you respect people’s intentions? Do you appreciate their abilities? The T in ART is trust, and the M in AIM is motive. Do you trust their motives?

This gives you a way to take inventory. What is your attitude? What is your general spirit? Is your attitude positive or negative when you are with people?

What if you do not have high-quality appreciation, respect, and trust for their abilities, intentions, and motives? Are you at least trying?

That is another wonderful thing about people: they can be incredibly forgiving when they see that you are sincerely trying to give them a high-quality connection.

You do not need an excessive number of relationships because the abundance you have can be mental and emotional: appreciation for people’s abilities, respect for their intentions, and trust in their motives. Those qualities more than compensate for the limitations and failures we each have personally.

When we come together, we can take inventory and ask, “What are your abilities? What are your skills? Do you believe you were born with a personality that has gifts, talents, strengths, and abilities?”

If you know how to use those qualities from the beginning of a connection, you can prevent much of the frustration and failure that people assume is inevitable. It is not inevitable.

When you understand and communicate effectively with the people in your life, you can say, “Not only do I know who you are, but I appreciate, respect, and trust your abilities, intentions, and motives. Let’s get past the unnecessary things we become caught up in and confused by.”

Inertia, inability, indifference, and ignorance do not have to control the relationship when everyone is focused on something specific and united in purpose. That is what happens when we synergize.

Healthy attachment to others is a foundation for personal fulfillment. We will discuss that more later. You can be an introvert, meaning you do not need a large number of people around you, while still having relationships that are meaningful, profound, and special.

That is why I only need a handful of relationships. The ones I have are so high quality.

My husband, on the other hand, is very extroverted. He can become friends with almost anyone after talking with them for more than two minutes while standing in line. That is wonderful.

If I did a quick review using today’s technology and asked how many people like my husband, it might be two or three million. He has lived in two countries and four states, and he has been in situations where he saw hundreds of people daily. He is a nice guy, so, to him, that means, “Yes, we’re friends.”

The point is that it does not matter how you do things based on your personality’s functional order. What matters is how you feel while doing them and what you think while experiencing those feelings, because those thoughts and feelings eventually determine how you behave and speak to people.

No, texting is not the same. When people cannot hear your voice, see your face, or feel your body language, they do not receive most of what you need to communicate for them to understand the whole situation.

When you have all the information relevant to a situation from the beginning, you can synchronize and synergize. As you move through a project with another person, you can ask questions and say, “Wait a minute. Hold on. Stop. In this situation, is it this or that?”

The other person may say, “You know what? I think it is actually this.” Then you can identify the distinction: “Oh, right. There it is. Okay, now let’s keep going.”

There does not have to be an impediment. Any potential stumbling block can become a stepping-stone.

When we come back, I will talk about the differences between people. The station number is 888-627-6008.

Speaker 1 – Prerecorded Theme Vocalist / Musical Interlude Voice:

Same words, different meaning.
Same moment, different seeing.
You think it’s them;
they think it’s you.
But there’s a deeper point of view.

You said it straight;
they took it wrong.
Now you’re wondering what went on.
Same sentence, different weight;
now you’re standing in debate.

You call it honest;
they feel hit.
You move fast;
they need to sit.
You think silence means they don’t care;
they think space means [unclear sung lyric].

It’s not the words;
it’s how they land.
It’s not the fight;
it’s what they can explain
in ways you recognize,
because you’re not seeing through their eyes.

That’s the power,
the power of synergy,
understanding what you don’t see.
Same words, but a different code;
different minds on a different road.

That’s the power.
When it finally clicks,
it’s not about wrong—
[Music transition.]

Speaker 2 – Gabrielle Cardona, Host:

Welcome back to The Power of Synergy on BBS. I’m Gabrielle Cardona, a relationship coach.

I decided that relationships should be the central focus of my life coaching because, no matter what people were struggling with—a focus issue or difficulty reaching a goal—it generally revolved around a relationship that was distracting, confusing, or overwhelming them.

They truly felt impotent and incompetent. It made them ignorantly indifferent; they did not even want to know how to solve the situation.

I reminded people that other people are the key to true success in life. When we unite, synchronize, and synergize, we empower and facilitate one another.

You need to understand something I said at the beginning and will say again: the exact same behavior can mean five different things, and the same sentence can mean ten different things depending on how it is said.

Sentence stress, modulation, volume, pausing, intonation, and inflection all matter. We have an ability to express ourselves verbally that technology simply does not afford us. I am sure artificial intelligence will try to replicate it, but it is not the same thing. You know that.

If you have a question or comment, the number is 888-627-6008.

It is useful to deal with a situation and its elements, but those elements are what I call the effects of a cause. That is cause and effect. The things within the situation are the topic.

But what is the cause? The cause is the actual issue. Then what is the problem? The problem is the source of the issue.

We have to look more closely, peel away the layers, and sort through all the elements and factors.

When you understand that personalities are different for a reason because the world needs everything to be done, ask yourself again: What is worse—doing what you are not, or not doing what you are?

Doing what you are not means taking away someone else’s opportunity to do the particular thing that is natural to them. Not doing what you are suffocates you. It denies you the freedom and opportunity to experience life in the way that would be the highest-quality version for you.

I raised my three children in three completely different ways because, by the time each was a year old, I knew what their personality was. I got criticism for it, but I never regretted it, and they never had a hard time because they knew how I regarded each of them.

My oldest was my favorite food. My middle son was my favorite song. My daughter was my favorite movie. They were all priceless, invaluable, and so special to me that nothing in the world could compare to them.

When you understand that the differences between you and the people around you are what create the potential to synergize with and facilitate one another, you may become more open to the possibility that they have important abilities and talents—and that you have gifts that matter in the world.

You need to discover what those gifts are and communicate them to people so that, when they are with you, they can say, “You make my life better.”

Here is another rhetorical question: Do you believe there is more joy in giving than in receiving? That is important because so much of life now is “me first,” “most,” and “best.” We are very competitive and defensive.

When I work with people, I ask them to look beyond the topic and even beyond the issue, because we have to reach the problem. We can resolve issues when we have the motivation to remain in synergy and work together because what we create for and with one another is important both to the world and to us individually.

Then we can ask, “What really is the problem?” I tell people there are usually three possibilities.

First, you may be off center. That means you need to return yourself to a high-quality state.

Second, what you are doing may be a low-function activity for your personality.

Third, the activity may have triggered something from a past experience. That is an issue you have that is separate from the activity itself.

It can be a relief to ask, “Is this really about me being off center in this moment?” Then you can tell the people in your life, “Give me some time to return to a high-quality version of myself.”

Or you may say, “The bottom line is that what I am doing right now feels like running uphill barefoot in the snow. I cannot do this at a very high level of quality for a long time. We have options. Do you want to accept that I am doing the best I can, although it will never go beyond a certain level of quality, or do you want to do it?”

Most of the time, the problem is solved right there. People love it when you allow them to be who they organically are and then say, “Your being the true-to-you version of yourself has made the world a better place.” There is very little you could say that would be better than that.

Maybe the difficulty is an issue from the past. Then you need to examine something that is not about the present situation or the people in it. It is a separate topic that needs to be discussed, and that will take time.

When you tell people, “This is going to take time,” they will often be patient if you treat them with appreciation, respect, and trust.

It is ART, ladies and gentlemen. It is a beautiful abilities, intentions, and motives / appreciation, respect, and trust dynamic that involves your whole soul. Those qualities are not mutually exclusive. They are indelibly intertwined and feed one another.

When you say, “I am imperfect, and I am struggling,” our human response is often, “How can I help you? How can I encourage and support you?”

Now let’s think about the letters of your personality. I will review them briefly because we are going to take another break in about two minutes.

The first letter of your personality concerns your social energy. The second letter concerns your general focus. The third letter concerns how you make decisions. The fourth letter concerns how you carry out those decisions.

On my website, life-synergy-coaching.com, you can find my book Embrace Your True Nature. It is about those four dichotomies and how to determine which preference is yours in each pair.

The first pair is Introversion or Extraversion. The second is Sensing or Intuition. The third is Thinking or Feeling. The fourth is Perceiving or Judging.

Most people, unfortunately, answer personality-test questions based on what they currently do when they go to a professional or expert. It is not based on what you currently do, because your present lifestyle may not be truly indicative of who you are. You may be stifling or inhibiting yourself.

Ask yourself: What is easiest and most pleasurable for me? Which of these functions do I naturally do very well? That is how you know who you are.

We are going to take one more quick break. Again, the station number is 888-627-6008.

When we return, I will explain the levels of functionality. That is going to be the key to truly knowing who you are.

Thank you for listening to The Power of Synergy on BBS. I’m Gabrielle Cardona.

Speaker 1 – Prerecorded Theme Vocalist / Musical Interlude Voice:

Sixteen ways to take it in,
sixteen ways to [unclear sung lyric].
What feels normal in your frame
to someone else is not the same.

You stop reacting, start to see
there’s a pattern to identity.
And when you learn the way they move,
you know exactly what to do.

That’s the power,
the power of synergy,
understanding what you don’t see.
Same words, but a different code;
different minds on a different road.

When it all aligns,
you stop guessing, start reading signs.
It’s not surface; it’s energy.
That’s the power of synergy.

Speaker 2 – Gabrielle Cardona, Host:

Welcome back to The Power of Synergy on BBS. I’m Gabrielle Cardona, a relationship coach.

I have been doing this for many years, and my message has not really changed. You need to be a very high-quality version of whatever you naturally and organically are.

When I was seven years old, my teacher gave the class a personality test. I suspected my mother had put her up to it because of all the shrinks who wanted to figure out what was wrong with me. I thought, “What the hell? I’m just going to answer the questions honestly and write the whole thing off.”

When I found out I was an INTP and it was explained to me, I thought, “Oh my God.” It was not only accurate; it was also okay. There was nothing mentally wrong with me. I simply happened to be unlike most people.

Yes, I was different, but according to the results, that was okay too. In fact, it was better than okay. It was wonderful.

There was nothing wrong with me. People who truly understood what life was about appreciated and liked me, no matter what my mother and all those stupid people with letters after their names were telling me.

People actually liked the fact that I was insightful because I was an intuitive thinker. The fact that I was an introvert did not mean I was socially defective or retarded. It meant that, when I spent quality time with people, I preferred being alone with them. I did not need to be in large groups, and I did not need to yell to be heard. I was willing to wait for people to listen to me.

Now let’s discuss some of the details of how you can determine your functional order. You can take a personality profile or get my book from my website. It is available as an audiobook too. Many people do not want to read anymore; they want to hear me read it to them.

Let’s use four example profiles: ESFJ, INTP, ISTP, and ESTJ.

The final letter of the personality type—the P or J—determines which of the two middle letters is extroverted.

For an ESFJ, the J means the third letter is extroverted. For an INTP, the P means the second letter is extroverted. The other middle letter is therefore introverted.

For the ESFJ, if Feeling is extroverted, then Sensing is introverted. For the INTP, if Intuition is extroverted, then Thinking is introverted.

That is simple, right? J concerns judging or making decisions. P concerns perception—gathering and processing information—which is a perceptive activity.

The useful thing is that, even when one of the middle functions is introverted and the other is extroverted, you still perform both.

Consider an ISTP. Because the P means the second letter is extroverted, Sensing is extroverted and Thinking is introverted.

For an ESTJ, the J means the third letter is extroverted. Thinking is extroverted, and Sensing is introverted.

Once you identify the introverted and extroverted activities, the first letter tells you which orientation you generally prefer.

For an ESFJ, extroverted Feeling is the preferred activity because the person is an extrovert. For an INTP, introverted Thinking is the preferred activity because the person is an introvert.

For an ISTP, introverted Thinking is preferred, and extroverted Sensing is second. For an ESTJ, extroverted Thinking is preferred, and introverted Sensing is second.

What about the other two functions? Ladies and gentlemen, we still have to perform activities we do not like. The helpful thing about nature is balance.

For an ESFJ, extroverted Feeling is number one and introverted Sensing is number two. We then look at Intuition and Thinking, the functions the person is less inclined to use.

The polar opposite of extroverted Feeling is introverted Thinking. If ESFJs love extroverted Feeling, they will probably strongly dislike introverted Thinking. If introverted Sensing is number two, its opposite, extroverted Intuition, is number three.

For an INTP, introverted Thinking is dominant. That means extroverted Feeling is the weakest, or inferior, function at number four. If Intuition is extroverted, then Sensing is introverted and occupies number three.

The four positions are described as follows: number one is the dominant function, number two is the auxiliary function, number three is the tertiary function, and number four is the inferior function.

Let’s return to the ISTP. If the ISTP has dominant introverted Thinking and auxiliary extroverted Sensing, the polar opposite of introverted Thinking is extroverted Feeling, so extroverted Feeling is the inferior function. The polar opposite of extroverted Sensing is introverted Intuition, so introverted Intuition is tertiary.

If you have to do things that are not natural to your personality, you must do them in a carefully calculated way so that you do not turn off your nature in order to engage in something that is not really you.

You still have to do it, but do it in a way that suits your nature or for a reason that fits your personality.

For an ESFJ whose preferred function is extroverted Feeling, introverted Thinking is still necessary. Their introverted Sensing has a similar orientation toward the activity, so consider sensing activities through which they can engage the Thinking function. If they are doing sensory things, they can approach them in a thinking way while maintaining an introverted inclination. Even extroverts can do introverted things.

For an INTP, tertiary introverted Sensing can be difficult. What other function do they use in an introverted way? Thinking. If they perform sensing activities in a thinking way or for a thinking reason, they may be more willing to continue those sensing activities even when they are not naturally good at them.

If you understand that you will be good at some things and bad at others, there are still ways to accomplish what needs to be done.

Find out what other people are good at and say, “This is what I’m good at. This is what I’m bad at. How about you? Let’s determine who can do which task and how much time we can healthily spend doing these different things in these different ways.”

That way, we do not place a greater burden on one another than necessary. We understand, accept, appreciate, respect, and trust our differences.

That is how we synchronize to synergize. We unite not only in the activities we perform together, but also in our purpose, motives, and intentions. We unify.

You have to play it SAFE: S-A-F-E—strength, ability, flexibility, and endurance. Those are all qualities we need in relationships.

It is always a good return on investment when you put your time and effort into people.

Thank you so much for listening to The Power of Synergy. My website, again, is life-synergy-coaching.com.

My books are Embrace Your True Nature, The Self-Actualization Workbook, and Until Death Do Us Part: Is Marriage Practical?

Please check out my website. If you ever want to call the station, the number is 888-627-6008.

We will see you here at the same time next week. Thank you for listening to The Power of Synergy on BBS.

Speaker 1 – Prerecorded Theme Vocalist / Musical Interlude Voice:

Understanding them—
it’s not about winning arguments;
it’s about knowing what matters to them.

You want better relationships?
Then read deeper.
You want real change?
Start with you.

Same words, different meaning.
Same truth, different seeing.
Not conflict—misread signs.
Different wiring, different minds.

That’s the power,
the power of synergy,
where awareness becomes clarity.
Every difference finally makes sense;
now you move with intelligence.

That’s the power, the shift you feel
when you finally see what’s real—
not reaction, but strategy.
That’s the power of synergy.

I’m not guessing.
I’m not reacting.
I’m understanding.
That’s synergy.