How Personality Functions Shape Connection, Fulfillment, and Synergy

Speaker Identification

Speaker 1 – Prerecorded Theme Vocal
The opening and closing lyric sections are presented as a prerecorded theme song, distinct from the spoken program.

Speaker 2 – Host Gabrielle Cardona
The speaker identifies herself by name at the beginning and end of the program and describes herself as a relationship coach. No guest speaker is present in the main program.

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Speaker 1 – Prerecorded Theme Vocal:

We are more than what we see.
Every voice, every story holds the key.
Together we rise in synergy.
Different faces, different pain,
Different stories, same refrain,
Trying to find a place to stand,
Trying to feel a guiding hand.
What you say and what you mean,
Life somewhere in between.
Every action has a cause,
Every heart behind the walls.
If we listen, we can hear it.
If we look, we can see it.
There’s a pattern in the soul.
Every piece can make us whole.

The power of synergy,
Understanding you and me.
Every difference, every truth
Leads us back to something.
It’s the power we can be
When we see what’s underneath.
Not just words, but energy.
That’s the power of synergy.

Speaker 2 – Host Gabrielle Cardona:

Welcome to The Power of Synergy on BBS. I’m Gabrielle Cardona, a relationship coach. But I did start out as a life coach. Now, that was over 20 years ago, and people said, “Well, what’s a life coach?” And I said, “You know, I teach people how to score in the game of life. I give them strategy and equipment, and I keep them healthy. And, yeah, they succeed.”

I think that the psychology, mental health industry, and the pharmaceutical industry of the modern world, especially in the United States, don’t really teach people how to be healthy and happy and successful. They label them and pump them full of drugs and kind of depress them. They say, “Well, you know, you’re sick and twisted and damaged, but, you know, it’s okay.” Well, no, it’s not.

So when I told people I wanted to be a life coach and help people succeed, feel good about themselves, and find fulfillment, they said, “Yeah, no, that’s too broad. It’s too general.” So I thought, okay. I had been doing it for a couple of years when I handed my card to someone one day, and they said, “Well, what’s your niche? What’s your specialty?”

I said, “Well, let me think about this. I’ve had all kinds of clients and all kinds of businesses who want all kinds of advice. But you know what? Whether it was about their work, their money, their time management, or their health, it all came back to relationships.” A lot of the quality of those different areas of their lives was contingent on the quality of the relationships in their lives.

So I thought, what’s a common theme? What’s a common thread for people? What are the common challenges that we all face? Well, communication was tough for them. Sometimes genuine connection was tough. But then I thought, you know what? It’s about understanding who we’re with and maximizing their strengths and talents.

As a coach, I would tell people, “You know what? You’re doing an amazing job. You’re just playing the wrong game.” It was based on their personality. And I would tell people, “Yeah, you’re with a good person in this relationship. You just don’t understand their personality. Let’s get synchronized. Yes, let’s synergize.”

When we synergize with people, we unite with them. We strengthen and fortify each other. We have this ability to bring out the best. But I tell people there are certain principles in relationships. Number one, there’s no neutral energy. You’re either positive or you’re negative. People want to be indifferent—“I don’t care”—as a sort of get-out-of-jail-free card, but you can’t be that way. Indifference is negativity because we naturally, as human souls, have a spirit in us with energy that other people are affected by. If we tell someone, “I don’t care,” that affects them. So you are either positive or you’re negative.

The second principle I teach people is that there’s no inertia. You’re either moving toward someone, away from them, or with them. So when we get together, if we have positive energy, that’s when we are empowered. Our actions are exponentially more influential not only on the people we’re directly with, but on the people around us and the environment we’re in.

So that’s the third point: knowledge is power. Power comes with accountability. Do you believe you are accountable for the way that you wield your influence over other people?

Ladies and gentlemen, I’ve written a book. It’s called Embrace Your Nature. It’s about personality qualities and functions that everybody has to perform in life; we just do them in different ways, on different levels, and for different reasons. It’s a 36,000-word book, so I’m going to take the entire hour today—no breaks and no phone calls—because I’m going to be covering a lot of information. It’s analytical and very informative, so if you need to listen to the archives a couple of times to get all of the information, please do. I’m going to try to condense a 16-chapter book into a 50-minute show, so bear with me.

A lot of people have heard of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, the MBTI personality profile system. It’s very accepted worldwide, and it’s appreciated because it is very specific and, in my view, very accurate. Unfortunately, because of the Internet, there are now a lot of people who have put incorrect information online. More than anything, it’s their opinion or personal experience with it—something that has applied to their life—but it’s not as precise or accurate as it could potentially be.

So what I’m going to be explaining today is not just the dichotomies or the dispositions, but functional order. I talk about it a lot in my shows, usually as a detail of the overall theme or topic I’m addressing, because it’s an element of who you are and what you do. That’s important to know.

When I teach people about their personalities, I tell them it’s okay to be different from the people around them. You were born with a personality, so it is actually very important not only to know what that is, but to embrace it. That means accept it and really work with it. Maximize it. Anything that could potentially be a weakness may also be a potential strength in disguise. Or, because you’re not really good at one particular activity, you may be amazing at its polar opposite.

Ladies and gentlemen, everything in the world needs to be done. We are born with a personality. We have gifts, talents, strengths, and abilities that our life experience may augment or minimize, but it doesn’t change who we are. Maybe we grew up in a culture that doesn’t appreciate our true nature for whatever reason. Or maybe our life experiences, including particular personal traumas, inhibited the manifestation of those qualities, gifts, and talents. You know what? They are still there, even if they’re buried, repressed, or suffocated. It’s time to bring them back out.

I’m going to give you a chance to check on the basic dichotomy questions. You can get a book at a library and it will give you an overview of the general letters, so I’m not going to spend a lot of time on the letters themselves. I’m going to start from the point that you already know the four letters of your personality.

What does that mean? What do you look like, and what do you feel like, when you’re doing different activities? What specifically qualifies as each one of those different activities? Does cooking count as sensory, or is it feeling? Well, that depends on whether it’s dominant or tertiary.

Okay, so I already lost half of you just because you don’t know what those words mean. I’m going to be very, very thorough and very detailed as I explain the four levels of functionality: dominant, auxiliary, tertiary, and inferior. And when we talk about intuitive, sensory, thinking, and feeling activities, what exactly does that mean? I’ll be giving specific examples of dominant introverted sensing, auxiliary extroverted feeling, and so on.

Let’s start with figuring out functional order. Again, ladies and gentlemen, everybody does everything. I don’t care what the letters of your personality are; you’re still going to have to do things in life that are not represented by the letters you prefer, because as humans we have to do everything. Functional order is about how well we do different things and how easy they are for us, relative to how poorly we may do them and how hard they are for us.

Since I’m going to be covering a lot of information, I’m not going to be taking any breaks or calls. If you have questions, you can always email me, and I will respond to listener questions on my next show, because I’m sure a lot of things are going to come up.

If you want to email, use synergyrelationshipcoaching@gmail.com. In the subject line, just say “The MBTI Radio Show,” and I’ll know it is specifically about what I’m saying today.

Let’s talk about functional order. It is the preference that we have and the indication of our capacity to do different things. It is relative to the second and third letters of your personality. That’s the S or N, which is the second letter, and the T or F, which is the third letter. Everybody has to do sensory, intuitive, thinking, and feeling things. The only indication is what they do most to least, best to worst.

So how do you determine it? Let’s pull a random personality: an ENFJ. Yes, that’s a shout-out to my baby girl. She’s the most wonderful ENFJ I’ve ever met.

The last letter of your personality, the P or the J, indicates which of the two middle letters will be extroverted. As a J, that means the third letter of her personality is extroverted. So the feeling, the F, is extroverted, and the intuition is introverted.

As an extrovert—the E, which is the first letter—her extroverted feeling is going to be her preferred activity. Her intuition is introverted, and she’s going to want to do that, but not as much as her extroverted feeling.

There are four levels: dominant, auxiliary, tertiary, and inferior. Dominant is what you want to do most. Auxiliary is number two. Tertiary is number three. Inferior is number four.

For an ENFJ, dominant extroverted feeling is what they want to do most. Introverted intuition is auxiliary, number two on the list. So what about thinking and sensing? How much do they want to do thinking activities, and how much do they want to do sensing activities?

If they love to do extroverted feeling things, the polar opposite is introverted thinking. The polar opposite of most is least, so their inferior function is introverted thinking. If their intuition is introverted, then when they do sensory things, those will be extroverted. So the ENFJ order is dominant extroverted feeling, auxiliary introverted intuition, tertiary extroverted sensing, and inferior introverted thinking.

Now let’s do another personality. My husband is an ESTP. The P means that his second letter, the S, will be extroverted, which means the third letter, the T, will be introverted. He’s an extrovert, so he’s going to want to do extroverted sensing things more than introverted thinking.

If extroverted sensing is dominant, introverted intuition will be inferior. He’s going to hate doing those things. And if his auxiliary thinking is introverted, then when he does feeling things, they’ll be extroverted, and that’s tertiary. So for an ESTP, it’s dominant extroverted sensing, auxiliary introverted thinking, tertiary extroverted feeling, and inferior introverted intuition.

Now, ladies and gentlemen, let’s go all the way down to the very basics. How much should a person do their dominant function? Seven to eight hours a day. How much should they do their auxiliary function? Three to four hours a day. How much should they do their tertiary? Two to three hours a day. And how about the inferior function? Not more than one to two hours a day.

Let me ask you this: What do you think is worse for someone—doing what they’re not, or not doing what they are? The more you do your lower-function activities, the less you’re doing higher-function activities. If you’re doing tertiary and inferior activities that are not your true nature, that also means you’re not doing your dominant and auxiliary functions, which are your nature.

It’s time to take an inventory. Currently, what are you doing? This is something I’ve had to tell people I’ve worked with over the years. When I ask general questions to determine their four letters in the first place, they often answer based on what they currently do. No—don’t tell me what you currently do, because odds are part of the reason you’re coming to see me is that you’re not being who you organically are, and you need me to help you get back to that.

When I ask these questions, I say, “What is the easiest thing for you to do? If you were left alone, what would you actually want to do?” Sometimes I have to tell them: imagine you were on a deserted island and there was no monetary currency. The only thing determining what you were going to do was “happy juice.” You were paid or compensated for the things you did with some kind of liquid currency that purchased your home, your food, and your clothing. What would make you happy?

You know what, ladies and gentlemen? That’s your dominant function. That’s why you need to do it for eight hours a day. But some people don’t know themselves well enough to be able to say that.

It’s very important, when you are taking any version of any test to determine the letters of your personality, to ask: What is the easiest thing for you to do? What are you naturally good at? And what brings you pleasure? You might not even know those things, so it’s time to find out.

Now I’m going to explain each of the activities. There’s sensing, intuiting, thinking, and feeling that everybody has to do, and, like I said, there are introverted and extroverted versions of them.

If we’re talking about the principles of the dominant function, which I say you should do about eight hours a day, it’s so easy for you that it’s automatic. You do it really well without any practice, and it brings you so much pleasure that you don’t need compensation for it. It is naturally fulfilling enough, in and of itself, to make you feel compensated.

The auxiliary function is something you do really well, and it brings you pleasure, but it’s not automatic, so you need motivation to start doing it.

With the tertiary function, you can do it really well, but it’s not going to bring you pleasure, and it’s not automatic. So you need motivation and compensation.

Your inferior function is not automatic, it’s not easy, and you don’t do it well. It doesn’t bring you pleasure. You need motivation, compensation, and restoration when you’re done doing your inferior-function activities.

That’s why it’s very important to limit the time you spend doing tertiary and inferior functions, because not only are you depriving yourself of the opportunity to perform your dominant and auxiliary functions, but you’re also sucking life out of yourself.

I explain it like this: the dominant function is like breathing. You have to force yourself to stop doing it. The auxiliary function is like eating. You need to do it, but you don’t need to do it all the time like breathing. The tertiary function is like walking. You can absolutely do it, even for an extended period of time, but you’ve got to stop and recover.

The inferior function is like running. You really and truly shouldn’t do it more than a few minutes at a time. If you do it for an extended period, your entire lifestyle has to revolve around maintaining that level of performance. But again, since it’s the polar opposite of your dominant function, you’re not “breathing” while you’re doing it. So you should not do it too much.

Even if you do it well—even if you’re a marathon runner or an Olympic athlete, and you can run a four-minute mile and 25 miles a day—you still shouldn’t do it too much because it wears you out and breaks you down.

Now let’s talk very specifically about the different activities and give specific examples of what employs different functions. I wrote a list of eight activities with two examples for each one, so 16 personalities that could be doing jobs or work suited to their functional nature.

Let’s start with extroverted sensing. Extroverted just means socially interactive; there are a lot of people there. Sensing means stimulating. So extroverted sensing is socially stimulating interaction with a lot of people.

The ESTP has dominant extroverted sensing. The best thing for them to do, in my example, would be professional sports, because they are interacting with people and it’s very physically stimulating. They can do it for a very long time, and as long as it’s in a group setting, they will do it very, very well.

How about an ESFP? They also have dominant extroverted sensing. But as a feeler, they need to be with people and caring for them. An ESFP would be a great shoe salesperson because they want the socially stimulating interaction, while the feeling function in them, which is auxiliary, wants to be generous to people. The ESTP, as a thinker, needs to be objective and analytical.

How about dominant extroverted intuition? Intuition is about profound insight. So if someone has extroverted intuition, they would want to have that profound insight in a group experience. They would want to be socially interactive with the people they are being insightful and profound with.

That would be an ENTP. As a used-car salesperson, for example, they are showing social insight when they say, “What do you need? How can we do it in the best possible, high-quality way for you and for the best price?” They can negotiate. They can wheel and deal. They’re very influential. They love interacting with people and being insightful about how they say and do everything.

What about an ENFP? They want to be profoundly insightful and interactive, but as a feeler they’re very humanitarian. Working as a call-center operator, maybe for a suicide hotline, they could talk to people who are considering killing themselves. In my view, their extroverted intuition can make them very insightful and profound, while their feeling makes them lovingly generous. You can never have too much of that. And the great thing about ENFPs is that they never run out of what most people—yours truly included—only have a limited supply of.

How about dominant extroverted thinking? Thinking is about being rational, objective, and analytical. Extroverted means socially that way; they want a lot of people around.

An ENTJ has dominant extroverted thinking. A district attorney would be my example of a good job for them, because while they are being logical, rational, analytical, and objective, they can be around people all day long and maintain a high level of performance in those activities. I believe they could work 14-hour days and sleep very well at night.

How about an ESTJ? They also have dominant extroverted thinking. A dermatologist would be my example, because as a sensor they’re able to do things physically where an intuitive might be doing them more in the mind. A sensor with judging would be very precise in performance. The execution of their dominant thinking would be accurate.

That’s important because they would not only be able to make objective and analytical decisions through their dominant extroverted thinking, but their sensing would be auxiliary. Introverted sensing is auxiliary, so they could be doing sensory activities in which they have to be very accurate in the decision-making and thinking process.

How about dominant extroverted feeling? Feeling is about being socially generous and taking care of people, really loving them unconditionally. Being extroverted means doing that in a group setting. So this is socially generous caretaking.

Who has dominant extroverted feeling? An ESFJ. Since extroverted feeling is what they love to do, their sensing is introverted. A food salesperson would be an example. They could make their own food and sell it on the street because not only do they like to make food when they’re alone, but when they are selling their product, watching people eat that food would be just as stimulating and gratifying for them as actually making or producing the product itself.

An ENFJ also has dominant extroverted feeling. They would be a great flight attendant, in my example, because they are taking care of people in a nurturing way. They are doting on people and providing something that people need, but also something they want. So an ENFJ, through socially generous caretaking, could work on a 14-hour flight interacting with hundreds of people and, in my view, not feel drained by the end of it. Extroverted feeling as a dominant function would be true to their nature.

Now let’s talk about introverted sensing, intuition, thinking, and feeling.

Two personalities that have dominant introverted sensing are the ISTJ and ISFJ. Sensing is stimulating action, but introverted means personally. That means either alone or only with one other person who is very intimately special to them.

For an ISTJ, dominant introverted sensing would mean they could do commercial construction work very well. In my framework, dominant introverted sensing would give them precision and very high-quality performance. They wouldn’t necessarily have to be verbally interactive with the people they are working with. They would just need to consistently perform high-quality work.

The other one is an ISFJ. If introverted sensing is their dominant function, then their auxiliary function is extroverted feeling. They could do well in building maintenance, maybe as an apartment maintenance person, because their feeling would genuinely want to see that all of the people around them were being taken care of.

It would be in the context of personal service that they would feel very gratified and stimulated as a sensory performer. They could do plumbing, repairs, construction—whatever needed to be done—but with the ultimate goal of taking care of the residents in a humanitarian way. That would be the most important thing to an ISFJ in this example.

How about dominant introverted intuition? Intuition, again, is about being profoundly insightful, but introverted means they are doing it in a solitary way. They want to do it either alone or with only one other person.

For an INTJ, I would suggest writing, because they would want to have insight about information. They are logical, rational, and analytical, but they don’t really want to talk to people. So they would make excellent writers. They would have profound thoughts and ingenious ideas that they could put into words without necessarily expressing them verbally.

The other one is an INFJ. If they are a feeler while they have this profound insight, they can take excellent care of people even as an introvert, but it would need to be one-on-one. So they could make a very good massage therapist.

They could have that personal interaction with individuals one at a time and say, “I definitely need to give you the personal attention that you need. But I can feel things that might not be physical going on inside of you, and my intuition says that even when you’re telling me you think this is the problem, I believe I can feel something else. I accept what my body is telling me in response to your body.”

How about dominant introverted thinking? Thinking is about being academic, objective, and rational, but introverted means privately—solitary or with just one other person.

An ISTP would be a good archaeologist in my example because they would want to physically see the things about which they are making objective, analytical judgment calls. As a scientist, a lot of the work they could do would be alone. They would only need to get together with people in a sensory way from time to time to confirm what their dominant introverted thinking had provided to them as a source of information.

Or consider an INTP. If they need to be academic, logical, and objective about something without other people around, accounting would be a good example. They can work with numbers. For them, numbers are like people, and sometimes people are numbers. They are not necessarily the best at being nurturing, but when they are working with information, their precision and accurate attention to detail can be impeccable.

How about dominant introverted feeling? Feeling is about being sensitive and generous, very unselfish. But if they’re an introvert, how can they be that way alone or intimately one-on-one?

An INFP has dominant introverted feeling. They could be a great nurse in my example because, if their intuition—which is extroverted—is working with their dominant introverted feeling, everything they give their patients would come from a very unselfish, generous source. They would just need to do it one person at a time, which is why I think nursing can work well for that personality.

How about an ISFP? Their introverted feeling is dominant, but their sensing is extroverted. They would have the generosity to give to people, just not necessarily through direct interaction. An ISFP could be a great sculptor because their artistic expression would be the sensory part.

When they have that physical, tangible product they have produced for people, it would still be with the ultimate goal of connecting with the people they are sharing that product with on a profoundly generous level. They would know they are changing people’s lives through the high-quality production of their personal expression.

When you know what all of these different activities are, the framework becomes easier to understand. Extroverted means socially interactive, while introverted means solitary or intimate. Sensing is about stimulation and tangible product. Intuition is about profound thoughts, insight, and understanding. Thinking is about objective, rational, analytical decision-making. Feeling is about unselfish generosity and loving care of other people.

If you mix all of those things together and understand that different people are going to have different abilities, then you know to go to different people for different requests.

What do you think? Is there more joy in giving than in receiving? When you have someone in your life and you know what their dominant function is, that’s connected to their gifts, talents, strengths, and abilities.

If you go to them and say, “I really need what you are—not just what you do, but who you are. If you could give me the genuine article of what’s easy for you, what you do well, and what brings you pleasure, you’re making the quality of my life better,” do you know what a gift that is to that person?

You are telling them that you don’t want them to change, and that who they are and what they do make the world a better place. Those are the kinds of things money can’t buy. Fame and fortune are nice, but they’re not all they’re cracked up to be. When you have genuine fulfillment inside yourself, you don’t need excessive money, possessions, or fame to be satisfied, fulfilled, and gratified in life.

Now let’s talk about synchronizing. Synchronizing means that you can figure out what your differences are and say, “You know what? You’re doing certain things in a socially particular way. When I’m doing that activity, yours is introverted and mine is extroverted. Let’s find a way that we can employ our intuiting, sensing, thinking, or feeling functions in the most healthful way for both of us.” That way, we will be not only more productive but also more fulfilled when we’re done.

If we know that we’re going to be doing different things with different people, we have a lot of different options, but communication is vital. So I call it the ART of AIM.

ART stands for appreciation, respect, and trust. Those things are invaluable. You can’t put a price on them. They’re so important; they are vital to our well-being as souls.

AIM stands for abilities, intentions, and motives. Do you appreciate people’s abilities? Do you respect their intentions? Do you trust their motives? That’s the only way we can work out the potential differences in our personalities.

Here’s the bottom line. I love that my husband is a thinking perceiver like me. He’s an extroverted sensor, whereas I’m an introverted intuitive. Enough of what we do is similar, like our thinking. Our thinking is both introverted, so when we are doing things that are logical and rational, we work really well together as long as no one and nothing else is involved.

But my sensing is introverted and his is extroverted. That presents a potential challenge, right? A potential problem. So I know that I can manage that situation in different ways. I’m either going to make it easier for him or I’m going to make it harder for him.

When he is being sensory, he needs to be socially interactive. Delivering food for Uber Eats when he’s driving, for example, he would make a great taxi driver or carpool driver because he could be socially interactive with a lot of people.

But since my sensing is introverted, I can say to him, “I’ll run in and get the food from the restaurant. I’m just going to go in, grab the food, and run back out to the car. You can hand it to the customers, because I have a really hard time making direct eye contact. We’re going to get a bigger tip if you’re the one giving them the food.”

Lo and behold, ladies and gentlemen, not only can we work out our differences, but his sensing is dominant while mine is tertiary. He could do it for eight hours a day. I cap out at about three hours.

When you understand the gifts, strengths, talents, and abilities of people, but you also accept and appreciate that there are limitations, you can work with those differences. When he’s being sensory, he can’t really be intuitive at the same time. I can take care of the intuitive activities and just get confirmation from him—not by telling him all the details of all things intuitive, but by giving him the overview, the general summary.

Then he can appreciate the value of intuitive activities and let me do them so he can stick to the sensing activities.

I’m sure you have people in your life who have the potential to offer you services, experiences, help, and support. If you knew what their functional order was, you could actually say to them, “I know you love to do this activity. You are very, very good at it, and it’s very easy for you. For me, it is like running uphill barefoot in the snow. Do you want to do it for me, or do you want to do it with me? Can you help me out?”

Depending on whether they’re an introvert or an extrovert, that can make a difference. This is absolutely vital information, ladies and gentlemen.

But again: appreciate, respect, and trust their abilities, intentions, and motives. Their ability is their skill set. Their intention is their ultimate goal. And their motive is why that is their goal.

In order to synchronize and synergize, you have to know how to communicate and specify what’s going on. More often than not, I’ve found that people don’t even necessarily know what they’re doing or why they’re doing it. They’re just in the habit of doing it, or they’re doing it because everyone else is doing it.

If you say to someone, “Let’s talk about what’s going on and make sure that not only what we’re doing, but how we’re doing it and why we’re doing it, are synchronized,” that’s when we get the synergy.

Now let’s talk about the polar opposite of the dominant function: the inferior function. People need motivation, compensation, and restoration when they are performing their inferior function.

Do you understand and appreciate that sometimes, in order to ask people to do things that they are horrible at—things that feel like running uphill barefoot—you are going to need to give them motivation, compensation, or restoration to help them get back to the high-quality performance level everyone wants to be at when they’re doing things?

Maybe they just shouldn’t do it at all, and that’s okay too. If you say to them, “Look, I understand this is not easy for you. I’m not going to ask you to do it past a certain point, and I’m not going to expect you to perform past a certain level,” do you have any idea how much that builds trust, respect, and appreciation?

You have the ability to communicate very specifically about what is going on in the situation, but also very honestly about how you think and feel. People want to know the truth. They can handle the truth as long as you say it in a considerate, honest, thoughtful, and caring way. How you say it is almost more important than what you’re saying.

Appreciation, respect, and trust are not things you can buy. They only come with time and personal, direct interaction. The experiences you’ve had with someone can build, strengthen, fortify, and edify those things: appreciation, respect, and trust.

If you say to someone, “Look, I know that when you’re doing this very stimulating activity, you do it better when you’re not interrupted because your sensing is introverted,” you don’t necessarily have to go over all the details of what that means. Just modify the way you approach them and the way you communicate with them.

Make sure they always know that the door is open to ask you questions for clarification or to ask for help and support in that particular task. That’s how you build appreciation, respect, and trust.

Even if you’re not doing the exact same activity, as long as you have the same ultimate goal, those differences don’t have to be a dividing force. They can be the actual unifying force because, in whatever activity you are performing, there are many different elements and variables that must be considered.

If you understand the entire situation, you can say to the people—or maybe just one individual working with you—“Let’s stay synchronized so we can synergize. Let’s feed off the positive energy of each other. While you’re doing that part, I’m doing this part. We both know what we’re each doing, and we agree to it.”

I also tell people about emotions that can arise in relationships. Sometimes we have reactive emotions. One is anxiety, one is fear, and one is anger. They could potentially be bad things, but they are tools, so they could potentially be good things.

Anxiety is about what could potentially happen. Fear is about what is happening right here, right now. Anger is about what has happened. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

If you have anxiety, fear, or anger about something, you have the opportunity to express that to the person or people you are with. You can say, “There might be something going on other than my functionality. I should be doing this well, but there’s something else going on inside me. Give me the time or opportunity to discern what the actual problem is.”

Something may be inhibiting the manifestation of the synergy—the good-quality, unified activity and positive energy that can produce not only a large quantity of work or experience, but a very high-quality experience for people.

If you say, “This is what I’m going through right now. I’m trying to figure it out,” one of two things may happen. They may say, “No, I don’t want to do that with you, to you, for you, or around you,” and walk away. Or it may make them see things differently and afford them the opportunity to learn and grow into a better person.

When you are honest with people, but you do it with appreciation, respect, and trust, that will more often than not make you both better people. It might not be time for you to get together with that person, but if you truly understand who they are in their functional nature, then you can say, “I’m not going to ask something of you that is like walking 25 miles when, for this other person, it’s like eating at a buffet.”

They are going to be grateful, and they might even be willing to perform that activity at a different quality level, even if it’s not in a larger quantity. Then they can see the inherent value of something that is counterintuitive to their nature.

They could say, “Okay, quantitatively, I can’t do this for you for more than a certain amount of time. But the quality of my performance will improve because I appreciate, respect, and trust you. It will increase because you are worth it.”

When you have good, positive, quality energy, you know that you are going to be doing things in a good way for a good reason, and it will manifest in a very high-quality way, not only for the environment you are in, but for the people within that environment.

What you are saying and what you are doing to, for, and with people affects them. Even if you are an introvert and you are not directly interacting with them in that activity, you are still affecting them. You are having an impact on them.

Do you believe that people are worth it? Even introverts like me know that people are really the source of the cause and effect. Unfortunately, with everything technological now, we have almost forgotten about the human factor and the value of people because our machines are doing so much for us.

I’m sorry, but sensing, intuiting, thinking, and feeling cannot be programmed into an electronic device in the same way that the human soul, in my view, affords us the capacity to be with, to, and for each other.

When we have connection, that can’t be purchased with money and can’t be created by technology. We do need each other, even if we are introverts. We do have a need to give to people in a loving way, even if we are thinkers. And sensory people can be intuitive in the things they do.

When you get to your lower-level activities, the best way to employ one of the functions that is not your personality’s first choice is to do it in the way of your personality or for the reason of your personality. I call it once removed or twice removed.

Let’s go back to the ENFJ. Her lower function—introverted thinking—is her inferior function. If her auxiliary introverted intuition can afford the space for her introverted thinking to come in, she can say, “Okay, if I’m going to be introvertedly intuitive—that is, profoundly insightful—then I can sprinkle the thinking into that. I can be logical and rational while I’m also being intuitive.”

Or consider tertiary extroverted sensing. She is not naturally as strong at sensory activities, but if she is doing them in the way of her dominant extroverted feeling, or for a feeling-based reason, then the sensory activities can be high quality. She also doesn’t have to do them for too long.

She can say to people, “I can do sensory things, but the feeling has got to be there. Or I can be logical and rational in my thinking, but I need to do it for an intuitive reason—a profound and meaningful reason.”

People love it when you are honest. You can also say, “I’m having this very angry moment about what has happened. Let me process the feelings, and then I can figure out why I’m angry. What specifically was the problem? Let’s get back together.”

We synchronize to synergize.

I teach people a lot of things. When it comes to your personality, you need to embrace your nature. When it comes to reaching your goals, maximize your strengths and talents, your gifts and abilities.

The book that I’m working on right now is about marriage. How can you have differences and still work together? Do birds of a feather flock together, or do opposites attract?

If you understand your nature and the functional order of the people around you, you can say to your mate, “Our differences are the best things about us, and our similarities are why we appreciate, respect, and trust each other.” Then we can work out the minor details of all the things in life we have to do.

We have to do sensory things. We have to do intuitive things. We have to do thinking things. We have to do feeling things.

And if we keep the times again: the dominant function needs to be about eight hours a day; the auxiliary function, three to four hours a day; the tertiary function, two to three hours a day; and the inferior function, one to two hours a day.

Your mate may say, “Okay, you know what? Your inferior function is auxiliary for me. I can go ahead and do that.”

But what if what needs to be done is a fourth-function activity for both of you? Then you can say, “We will find someone. We can hire the help,” because it will be worth it for us to continue doing our dominant and auxiliary functions in a high-quality way.

We can make money doing those things and give the money to someone else who, by the way, may be doing a job that uses their dominant function. So you’re not only giving that person the chance to employ their dominant function; you are giving them monetary compensation as well.

What you put out into the universe, ladies and gentlemen, will come back to you. And your high-quality emotional and mental energy will improve your physical performance.

If you know that you are in a good mood with the people you are with, that good mood is going to do one of two things. It’s either going to put the people around you in a good mood because energy is contagious, or, if they are hell-bent on being in a bad mood, your good mood is going to annoy them and they’re going to bail.

I have books on my website: Embrace Your Nature, Till Death Do Us Part, and The Life Coaching Workbook. The website is life-synergy-coaching.com. If you want to send me a question, the email is synergyrelationshipcoaching@gmail.com.

Again, I didn’t open up the phone lines at all today, but if you listen to this archive and replay it a couple of times, and you have any questions about anything specifically that I said, go ahead and email me.

I will be opening up the lines for my show next week. The number to this station is 886276008 [number as transcribed; verification required]. If you have something very specific that you want to ask me about the functions, you can call then.

I also have the MBTI book in audio form. My books are on Amazon, but if you get them on my website, The Life Coaching Workbook and Embrace Your Nature are both in audio form, and you’re welcome to download those as well.

The marriage book, Till Death Do Us Part, will also be available in audio form, hopefully by the end of October.

Thank you so much for listening to The Power of Synergy on BBS Radio. I’m Gabrielle Cardona. Let’s synchronize to synergize. We’ll see you next week.

Speaker 1 – Prerecorded Theme Vocal:

[Unclear transition phrase: “I’m through.”]

What you think is black and white
Might be someone else’s light.
Read between the lines they speak.
There’s a strength inside the weak.
Not just who we show outside;
There’s a deeper truth inside.
If you learn to understand,
We can find a way to understand.
We can finally take a stand,
Not against, but side by side,
With awareness as our guide.

The power,
The power of synergy,
Understanding you and me.
Every difference, every truth
Leads back to something new.
It’s the power we can be
When we see what’s underneath.
Not just words, but energy.
That’s the power of synergy.
That’s the power of synergy.
That’s the power of synergy.