00:05

Speaker 1
We are more than what we see. Every voice, every story holds a key. Together, we rise in synergy. Different faces, different pain. Different story, same refrain. Trying to find a place to stand. Trying to feel a guiding hand. What you say and what you mean. Left somewhere in between. Every action has a cause. Every heart behind the walls. If we listen, we can hear it. If we look, we can see it. There's a pattern in us all. Every piece can make us host of power. The power of synergy. Understanding you and me. Every difference, every truth leads us back to something new. It's the power we can be when we see what's inside of you.

01:04

Speaker 2
This is The Power of Synergy on BBS. I'm Gabrielle Cardona. I'm a relationship coach. This is a new day and time for my show, so the potential new audience, I'm just gonna give a real brief introduction about myself, who I am, and what I do. I decided about 25 years ago that I completely detested the mental health and pharmaceutical industries in the United States. Um, I knew that since my mother had started sending me to psychiatrists when I was about five years old, psychologists and therapists and counselors, the only things that they ever could agree upon about me were that I was unfixable. Okay, yeah, no. So, I knew that when my mother just kept bringing me back to different people, saying, "What in the hell is wrong with my daughter? Can you make her better? Make her stop being the way that she is?" That actually hurt my heart, but when I was eight years old, my third grade teacher said, "We're gonna have a special test today that we're not getting graded on." Mm-hmm, okay.

02:12

Speaker 2
And it was a personality test. I thought, "Man, if my mom has set this up just to be a ... Mm. I'm, y- 'Cause you know what? What the hell, let's live on the edge. I'm gonna answer all the questions and I'm gonna answer them honestly." When I got the results back, wow! Not only was I not sick, I was actually kinda cool. (laughs) The only problem was I wasn't like most people, but that was apparently okay, too. And I thought, "Wait a minute, now. I'm an INTP. I'm actually an introvert, but wait a minute, wait a minute. Introverts are socially retarded. No, they're not. They just get their energy from inside themselves, and when they spend it on people, it's more one-on-one. They just like to be one-on-one. Wow, and that's okay, too. Because you know what? I had a lot of friends in my congregation that sometimes I was just exhausted, but I still loved them. What was wrong with me? Nothing was wrong with me.

03:13

Speaker 2
So when I was going through college and, yeah, I knew everything about psychology because I had literally been going to psychiatrists and psychologists my whole life, I, I thought, "Wait a minute, I don't agree with any of this. I'm just gonna get a very high-paying job doing something that I know is wrong and it's harmful." Because you know what it did? It labeled people and it didn't really help resolve any of their issues. It just made them keep talking more and more and more and more about the same thing in different ways. But, uh, "Well, you know, let's go ahead and give you some drugs so you don't have to deal with the pain." No. On TV, I saw, yes, talk shows, they were booming in the '80s and '90s. Coaches, life coaches. I felt, "Wait a minute, a life coach. I don't know what that means, but let's go ahead and, and do that." Because to me, coach sounded better.

04:09

Speaker 2
It sounded like someone who gave people strategy and equipment and encouragement and support to keep them in the game and help them score in life and, yeah, "I wanna be a life coach." Well, you know what? Again, I didn't really know what that was, because the industry was fairly young, about 25 years ago, and I said to my husband, "I think I wanna help people just score in the game of life. I don't wanna label them and I don't wanna change them. I don't wanna fix them. I want them to be happy. And it is possible to have unhealthy behavior, but not be mentally ill. And it is possible to have issues without needing drugs. Let's do this." Yeah. I really like helping people. I like giving them very specific advice, answers to their questions. You don't answer their question with another question. That confuses them and it depresses them even more. So when I said to my husband, "I'm not sure exactly what I'm gonna be doing to help people, but you know what?" Then something clicked in me.

05:16

Speaker 2
It's okay for people to be different. It's okay for them to have a hard time, because if they know that, you know what? They're just not like other people, but that's okay, too. That will keep their energy positive. Yes. So that's when I knew I wanted to call my business Synergy Life Coaching. And people said, "But you know what? Life coach, it's too broad. You gotta get a specialty. You gotta get a niche. That's gonna distinctly remove you, separate you from the rest of the field, right?" 'Cause, yeah, life coaching kinda took off in the early 2000s.You have to be something uniquely distinct. And I thought, "You know what? Of all the people that come to me in life, they want to have and do and be more and better things," the only common theme, subject, topic that was coming up for all of my clients was their relationships. Yeah. When we have relationships, when we connect to each other, we synchronize, then we synergize. Yeah. Okay. Now, synergy.

06:24

Speaker 2
L- let's just go ahead and, and read the definition. If you wanna go on, let's see, we'll call it Google. Let me go ahead and pull it up. It says, "Synergy is the interaction of or cooperation of two or more agents, organizations, or substances to produce a combined effect greater than the sum of their separate effects." Okay. Okay, that's very academic, so let's just go ahead and say, (laughs) what does that mean in, in logistics, right? Logistically. Let's say people were... Have a numerical value, okay. One person is a three, one person is a seven. They don't combine to create 10. They don't even combine to create 21. They empower each other. Three to the seventh power, that's 343. Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute. What if it's seven to the third power? That's 2,187. (laughs) whoa, okay. Now, this is fun. When we're thinking about what we can create with each other when we combine, well, how do we do that? We synchronize. We have to synchronize to synergize.

07:36

Speaker 2
Now, this is when I told people, as relationships, the important relationships in your life, there are very simple principles. Simple is not easy, it's just very basic. Principles that I teach people are, number one, there's no neutral energy. You either have positive or you have negative energy. And you know what? I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen, when we just say we don't care about something, that's actually negative energy. Indifference, lack of positive is, by default, negative. Okay. Not everybody likes to hear that. But the second one is, there's no inertia. You are either moving towards someone or away from them or with them. That means you have power. When you get together with them, you give them power as well. That leads to the third point, that is power comes with responsibility. Responsibility demands accountability. Ask yourself, do you believe you are accountable to the people in your life? You have to have quality energy. That's mental and emotional and physical. Okay.

08:52

Speaker 2
Now, this is where it gets all the way down to the very, very basics. What do you believe you have as a responsibility, not only to other people, but to yourself? Well, you know what? One of the things that my father taught me, he taught me some very nice proverbial wisdom sort of slogans. One of them was, "It's not what you know, it's who you know." (laughs) Okay? He loved to tell me that. He was a salesman, 'cause it's about connections. Ooh, okay. Do you want to connect with people? Because you know what? You can read books all day long, but it's not until you synergize with other people that you make things happen, you get things going on in the world. But more importantly, positive is more powerful than negative. Do you believe that good conquers evil? This is a very, very, well, I don't wanna say controversial belief that I have, but not everybody wants to believe simply because there isn't a whole lot of good out there to measure, right?

10:04

Speaker 2
To observe and see that, yeah, you have more power when you are good at your fundamental core than when you're bad. Well, okay, so let's just go ahead and take a look at people. Most of the time, it's only because they give up before they have that chance to succeed. So, what I'm gonna be talking about today, for all of my new listeners and, um, my followers that are still finding out that I'm on a new day and time, (laughs) uh, I'm not gonna take any breaks (laughs) for this show today, but I am gonna open up the phone lines. If you have a question that you wanna ask me as a relationship coach, the number is 888-627-6008. Okay. Now, what I'm gonna be doing is kind of starting at the very, very basic level, not only of what I teach people, but how and why these things work. You know what? It's funny, because when I was doing my business, I wanna say about two years into it, my husband came home from work one day and said, "Hey, I thought you had your appointment with your client.

11:11

Speaker 2
Where's your client?" And I said, "Oh, well, no, I, I'm, don't see them anymore. We took care of what they wanted help with." And he said, "Honey, we're never gonna get rich if you keep fixing people." (laughs) And I said, "Baby, they're not broken. They don't need to be fixed. They just need good quality information, because then they'll tell their friends and family about it, and then they'll refer people to me, because where their psychiatrist is answering their question with a question or labeling them as mentally ill, I actually give them good, substantive information that they can put to pragmatic daily life use." Yeah. I really liked being a life coach, and I knew that if people knew that what they were doing could be better, but they didn't have to change...Okay. Then their approach to life would be different. Their positive energy would be contagious. They would be making the world a better place. Yeah. It's not what you know, it's who you know.

12:17

Speaker 2
How many people in your life know you, truly know you? Okay. Now, you know what? I'm gonna just say one thing because it's, uh, I, I love Spanish. I do. I love Spanish because I really and truly do believe that it's a superior to English language. There are two words in Spanish that we only have one word for in English, K-N-O-W. In English, you can know. That just means you have information. In Spanish, there are two words, two different words for that one concept. One is knowing information. The other one is knowing people. When you know information, the word is saber. S-A-B-E-R. When you know people, it's conocer. C-O-N-O-C-E-R. And there's an A at the end of conocer. When you're talking about people, you're getting familiar with who they are. You're not just memorizing facts about them, you're actually understanding them. And the word A, the letter A, means to. You're, you're actually moving towards them. Wow. Okay. Now, this is good.

13:29

Speaker 2
When you're moving towards someone, you are building that bond. You are creating a connection. Okay. Now, I'm gonna say a joke (laughs) because, uh, I'm, I'm trying not to get too emotional when I talk about my babies, but I just love my children so much. They taught me so many things in life, but one day, my oldest son came home from school and he said, "Mom, I have the greatest joke for you. You're gonna love it." Because I hated technology. He said, "It's called the computer's gender." (laughs) The Spanish teacher was explaining to the students that in Spanish, words are feminine or masculine. You have to put an article in front of it. El or la. In English, we just say the. Well, one of the men, it was an adult class, and one of the men raised his hand and said, "Is it el computador or la computadora?" And she said, "Well, do you think it's more like a guy or a gal?" And he said, "Never mind, I retract the question." (laughs) And she said, "No.

14:25

Speaker 2
You know, we're gonna turn this into a game. We'll make, uh, men over here, women over there, and, uh, tell me what you guys think. Talk it out. Tell me if this thing is more like a, a man or a woman." And the guys just grabbed the pen and paper, and they started whispering and scribbling and laughing. And she said, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you, what are you writing down? Can I read what you're writing down?" And they said, "Man, this thing is so female it's not even funny. We got four reasons why this thing should just grow breasts right now. Number one, only their creator understands their logic. Number two, they speak a language only they can interpret. Number three, they store every mistake you ever make in long-term memory for retrieval. (laughs) And number four, half your paycheck goes to their accessories." And the teacher turned to the women and said, "Ladies, I'm drowning here. Those were beautiful. You gotta save me." And they said, "No, no, no, no, no.

15:17

Speaker 2
This thing's a guy. We'll tell you why. We got four reasons too. Number one, they won't do anything for you until you turn them on. Number two, you can give them information all day long, but they'll never think for themselves. Number three, yeah, they claim to solve any problem in your life, and in real life when push, push comes to shove, they're the problem. But most importantly, you know, number four, if you had just waited six months, you could've had a better one." Okay. Now, ladies and gentlemen, (laughs) the, the theme here that I, I, when I heard my son telling me this joke is the disdain. We don't like each other. We don't appreciate each other. Men and women are very divided. And that's actually become a social disease from technology.

16:08

Speaker 2
Now, the reason I wanted this show to have absolutely no breaks, and I'm gonna be very, very stream of consciousness in this, but still inviting you to call in if you have a question, 888-627-6008, is because, uh, I was, I was literally on a social medium, okay? I was on a, a website where I, I have connections with people, and they were talking about artificial intelligence. One of my comments on their post was, I was literally watching television and there was a commercial where a financial institution was advertising that they're not getting more machines, they're not getting more locations, they're getting more people into the locations. Whoa. Yeah. And I said, "If that's gonna be the selling point, people want to get back together with people. They don't wanna talk to computers. They have disengaged. They have disconnected." Whoa. Wait a minute. No, they've detached? Wait a minute. People miss being with people. What's the difference between being detached and disconnected?

17:23

Speaker 2
Detached is from what's going on around you, outside of you. Disconnected is from yourself. Whoa. Okay. Now, one of the, the things that my father taught me that scared the life out of me as a little girl was he said, "Be very careful about lying, sweetheart. Number one, if you lie to strangers, you're gonna miss out on amazing opportunities. Number two, if you lie to friends and family, you are gonna die alone 'cause no one is gonna trust you. But number three, if you lie to yourself, you're gonna start believing your own lies. Nothing in your life is going to be real. You've lost yourself because you believe your own lies."And he walked away, and I went, "Oh, my God. Okay." (laughs) I was trying to pull a fast one on him. But s- but it's true, when we don't really know who we are and what we truly are, then we can't connect with other people. It's time to take an inventory. So, the show started a little late today. I'm gonna do kind of just a personal favor, again, for my audience.

18:29

Speaker 2
I'm gonna explain a little bit about personality, just to kinda give you an overview that it's okay to be different and be completely honest with yourself about it, because that's how you can come together. When you understand and accept yourself, you are then capable of understanding and accepting others. Okay, now, not everybody knows what Myers-Briggs type indicator is, but it's very popular. Most people who've gone to college have taken that personality profile test because it can actually help them select a career. Now, what I tell people is, when you're taking the test, do not answer based on what you currently do. Answer the questions based on what you would do if you were left alone and you were accepted unconditionally for who you are. Once you have the four letters of your personality... And this is what I, I do for my clients, I give them the personality profile because different people can come to me with the exact same question.

19:30

Speaker 2
I will give them completely different answers based on their personality functional order. Okay. Now, I wrote a book about this, and it's on my website, but I'm gonna explain the principles of functionality and how to determine your functional order. First of all, everybody does everything. You do activities that are not your personality profile preference. Yeah. That just means you have to do those things in your personality's way. Okay. So let's say... I'm just gonna use a random personality profile. Uh, ENFJ. Okay. Extroverted intuitive feeling judger. Now, they're an intuitive feeler, but they still have to be sensory and thinking when they are doing activities. How do they know what sensory things, what intuitive things, what thinking, and what feeling things are healthiest for them? The last letter of your personality, in this case it would be a J, will tell you which of your two middle letters is extrovertedly inclined. That's gonna be, if you're a J, the third letter.

20:41

Speaker 2
So for an ENFJ, the feeling is going to be extrovertedly inclined. Okay, but if you're a P, it's gonna be the second letter that's extrovertedly inclined. Now, for an ENFJ, since their feeling is extroverted, their intuition is introverted. That just means that as an extrovert, they're gonna wanna do their extroverted activity more than their introverted one. That makes perfect sense. Okay. So then in the principles of nature and balance, if their extroverted feeling is their favorite, their introverted intuition is the second choice, the polar opposite of introverted intuition is extroverted sensing, and the polar opposite of extroverted feeling is introverted thinking. So, they are gonna have to still do the sensory and the, the thinking activities. Yeah. But they're just gonna have to do them in their organic way. If you know your functionality and you can say, "You know what?

21:44

Speaker 2
It is absolutely fine for me to have a very hard time doing this particular activity because I'm very, very good at doing the opposite of it," that has immediately turned your positive energy into something potentially very powerful. Yeah. Now, what we really need to understand is that there are 16 different personalities. (sighs) That's a lot, (laughs) of getting to know the people in your life. When you give them the opportunity to be who they truly are in an organic way, because you not only accept who you are, but you embrace your own nature, you can go to them and say, "You know what? I'm really, really good at some things, and I am really, really bad at other ones. Which ones are you good and bad at?" They will be more honest with you. So that right there is empowering them and facilitating them to be a very high-quality version of themselves. Again, there's no neutral energy. L- ladies and gentlemen, let me ask you.

22:48

Speaker 2
Ask yourself, when you know that there's no neutral energy, you come together with people, when you interact with them, do they become better people when they are around you? When they have interacted with you, y- they're not gonna be the same person that they were when you approached them by the time you walk away. So, ask yourself, when you are done interacting with people, are they a higher quality version of themselves? Even if that's just, uh, in the way of their positive energy that has formulated their mindset, which will manifest in their behavior. It's not just about the right here, right now. When they have other experiences with other people separate from you, after you, what you are with them is going to determine a lot of what they are going to be with other people. Do you believe that? Do you know that you have that kind of personal power?

23:49

Speaker 2
And if you know your true nature and you can say, "I'm going to do things that are very easy for me, the most natural things for me to do, I'm still gonna have to do the things that are not natural for me, but you know what? Woo, wait a minute, here we go, carpe diem, this is an opportunity," ask for help.Find out the people in your life, who they are and how they are and what they are. If you go to someone ... Think about this. Again, this is very simple, it's very basic, but it's incredibly profound and powerful. If you go to someone and say, "I happen to be a very good bicep, yes, but you know what? I- I can't do math very well. I know you're brilliant. Will you help me make the quality of my life better by being who you are naturally? Because I appreciate it, and I respect it, and I trust it." You have just made the quality of their life better because there is, in fact, more joy in giving than in receiving. Yeah.

24:51

Speaker 2
You have told them, "I'm giving you the opportunity to share who you are, to synchronize with me, to synergize with me, to become more powerful together." That is an amazing gift. Ladies and gentlemen, do you know the power that you have to make people's lives better? (laughs) One of my clients actually came to me, I believe he was 62 when he came to me, and he said, "Um, yeah, I'm gonna retire pretty soon, and I'm pretty sure I've been doing the wrong job for 45 years." (laughs) Okay. (laughs) "Well, you know what? It's never too late," he said, "and I know for a fact I married the wrong woman. I- I need to figure out who I am. Teach me who I am and help me be who I w- I was supposed to be. It's never too late." Absolutely. You know what? He was an INFP. That, as a Jewish man, no, that is absolutely not masculine. That's almost like what pe- what people would call a woman personality.

25:57

Speaker 2
And he said, "I didn't want anyone to know that I was sensitive and profound and caring and generous and insightful, because you know what? Yeah, that's not gonna make you a whole lot of money as an actuary of an insurance company." Yeah, okay. I- i- it's not gonna make you a lot of money, but it's gonna make you happy. Let's- let's think about what's actually gonna make you happy. How much is that worth to you monetarily? If you have a question about any of the things that I'm saying, or even a comment, I'm very open to listening to my listeners' comments. The number to the station is 888-627-6008. Now, o- okay, so if you are a very high-quality version of yourself, you are capable of doing amazing things. W- well, what if the world doesn't necessarily appreciate it? Okay, well, then, uh, let's go back to the very basics again. Positive is more powerful than negative. And I'm gonna, I'm gonna give a little shout-out again today because I- I miss them so much.

27:07

Speaker 2
The people at the shelter, Cass, in Phoenix, Arizona, that I give life coaching to. Every once in a while, I go and I give the residents. You know what? The people that work there are very, very good people. And one of the things that I even taught the residents, the- the staff, is that positive is more powerful than negative. When- when you have toxicity, literally, all around you ... I gotta tell you, ladies and gentlemen, (laughs) homeless shelter, yeah, there's a lot of toxicity there. Can you maintain and sustain positive, healthy, constructive energy in amongst destructive, negative, horrible behavior? Yeah, you absolutely can if you maintain that good mind and heart condition. You know what? One of two things is gonna happen.

27:57

Speaker 2
The negative people around you, they're gonna see, and they're gonna hear, and they're gonna experience your positive, constructive, healthy energy, and they're either gonna wanna join you, really and truly be with you, or they're gonna get so mad that it's gonna drive 'em crazy and they're gonna go away. Either way, score, (laughs) because you know t- they might come back around and say, "Hey, you know what? I'm ready to be with you, and I'm ready to be positive and healthy and constructive." Now, some people there, they have had it very hard and they have a very hard time trusting positive, healthy, constructive, generous. When I, when I go there and I help out the residents, and I even help the staff, I give them free life coaching because I want people to know that they absolutely can be a better version of themselves without having to change. Some people say, "You're wasting your time. They're a lost cause." No, they're not.

28:54

Speaker 2
If there are a total of 500 people that, quote, live, unquote, there, but only about 20 of 'em are interested in hearing what I have to say, even if one of them is a staff member, was it worth it? I'm not making any money. They- they can say, "You know what? You're stupid for not making any money. You- y- you're wasting your time, first of all, because the people there aren't worth it. But then, if you're doing it for free, think about all of the other things, the better things you could be doing." No, absolutely not, because when I first went there, how many years ago? Four, almost five years ago now, there was absolutely horrible abuse. There was torture. There was threats, danger, literal physical danger to the environment that these people were living in, and the people who were supposed to be taking care of them, the security guards, the staff members, they were the ones who were threatening and intimidating and abusing the residents. I don't care if they have a mental illness.

29:52

Speaker 2
I don't care if they do drugs. Don't you dare scare the life out of someone who is living on the edge. When I went there, they knew that I had seizures. I have epilepsy. They put me in front of the open door in the middle of winter, and they took away my blanket and pillow. Yeah, I had five seizures.And I said, "Okay. So (laughs) we got a lotta, a lotta work to do here." Yeah. I knew that when I was helping the people that lived there, the people that worked there were also watching, and I said, "I'm putting this on my radio show." First of all, shout out to my producer, Donald Newsom, I love you and your brother Doug so much for the work that you do on this station. I said, "You might not necessarily agree with this, but I'm, I'm at least dedicating one show per year, potentially more, to the fact that no one's gonna respond. No one in the general population is gonna respond until I put it out there for the world to see because they're afraid of public opinion.

30:51

Speaker 2
Just, you gotta trust me on this one. It will be worth it." Yeah. You know what? Now they have people there like Jennifer. Jennifer is an amazing woman who comes into the dormitory every morning and greets the women and, and gives them announcements. We have Sheila. Sheila is just a completely platinum, wonderful woman who brings in her cart. They do everything from karaoke to arts and crafts. And you know what? They see her, and the women, they are tired and they are sick, they immediately become an amazing version of themselves. Crystal in case management, she doesn't have to listen to them when they complain, but when they wanna talk, all she's supposed to do is refer them to a case manager. She'll listen. (laughs) Yes. And CG. You know what? When, when people in the middle of the night, they need toilet paper, they don't always get it from the night staff because they're a little disconnected. CG during the day, when you know that they need something, you are there for them.

31:55

Speaker 2
And they know that. That has changed. And, you know, people don't necessarily think that the work that I did there was worth it. It's absolutely worth it because the people that live there now are in a better quality environment because the people that work there are higher quality souls. Now, when I know that people genuinely want help, it's not about the money. I think that's another thing that, that people in the United States and probably worldwide more and more every day, they really truly are motivated by money. But do you know that what goes around comes around? And if you have high quality energy in your heart and your mind, that is going to manifest in your body. When people come to me and they say, "I have no idea what the problem is," my first client literally said to me, "If you can tell me why I have an amazing job..." Yeah, he was a district attorney. He had the, um, respect and appreciation and admiration of his colleagues. He had good money too.

33:02

Speaker 2
He was very good-looking. (laughs) He had, um, uh, came from a, a great family. He was Mormon, and he was raised by wonderful parents in a community-minded environment. If he said, "You know what? I'm not happy. Something's wrong with me," I said, "No, you're just not doing what's true to your nature." I found out he was doing a job as an ENTJ. You know what? He's an INTJ. I said, "What that means is the J in your personality makes your thinking, the third letter of your personality, extroverted. That means your intuition is introverted. As an introvert, you need to be intuitive for eight hours a day. That means you need to be profound and insightful by yourself to come up with, uh, with absolutely impressive thoughts, new thoughts and ideas that when you are being extroverted as a thinker, you don't have to do it for very long because your introverted intuition is so high quality, they don't need an excessive quantity." And he said, "Oh my gosh, I need to be a teacher.

34:12

Speaker 2
I love the law. I didn't wanna leave the law. But as a teacher, I need to sit and think more than I talk." Beautiful. Yes. If you know what is true to your nature, and you can say, "What I am really, really good at makes it okay that I'm bad at other things." Yeah. Because if I'm a high quality version of myself, I'm giving to other people, I am making their souls better. Okay, so le- let's just stop right here for a minute. Let's do a quick inventory. (laughs) Again, I'm not taking any commercial breaks, but I'll open up the phone lines. I've said a lot of things here. If you have questions, you want more specific details about them, the number is 888-627-6008. Otherwise, I'm gonna ask you now, you know what? You gotta be honest with yourself here. How important is it for you to be connected to people? Artificial intelligence, we use technology way too much. And those, those complaints that men and women were making about each other, and those jokes that...

35:20

Speaker 2
Yeah, that, that m- one that I quoted was just one of the many hundreds of them that are all over social media. How much do you genuinely want to be a high quality version of happy? This is one of the exercises that I give to my clients. I call it the stranded island test. This is, you have to be very honest, and it might be hard for you to do that, but you can always replay this (laughs) weeks and, and months from now. People often say, "What would you do if you had a million dollars?" 'Cause that would kinda reveal what it is that you truly do want to have, or do, or be in life. No. I say, "What if money didn't exist, if that was not even an issue for you, if the only currency to get the things that you genuinely need..." I promise you, you will always have what you genuinely need. But the only way...... that you can make sure of that is by having good emotional, healthy, positive energy.

36:23

Speaker 2
What activities, first of all, would you do to get yourself that kind of fluid currency of emotional energy? And then, the different things that you wanted; food, clothing, shelter, even entertainment. It was obviously at a price. You have to pour out a certain amount of juice for the different things that you wanna purchase, but it has to be, again, high quality and healthful for you. What would you do that would make you truly happy? This is sometimes what I have to ask people just to get their answers to their personality profile questions. And sometimes people will honestly say, "I have absolutely no idea. No one has given me the freedom or the opportunity to discover who I am." Okay. Then we can, we can start at the very, very beginning. What would you be doing in, uh, uh, work? What would you be doing with relationships? What do you want? What do you need from people? It's okay to know what your needs are. But most importantly, what's easiest for you.

37:31

Speaker 2
And this is really important, again, with your functional order. Your dominant function, it is so easy for you, it is automatic. Number two, you do it so well it is impressive. (laughs) And number three, it brings you pleasure to do it. That you wouldn't need any kind of compensation. That the gratification you feel from it when you are performing it, that in and of itself is a reward for you. If you find out what things in life being with people, doing for people, having for people that you can share with them, those are gonna be the things that qualify as true happiness. Possessions, no, they don't make you happy. Monetary excess, all kinds of, uh, millions and millions and millions of dollars, none of that can actually stress you out. If you know that you are going to have your needs cared for, what would you do? How many people have come to me over the years w- with a job that they only took because it was gonna make them good money? That's not what they truly wanted to do.

38:45

Speaker 2
Okay, yeah. It's very important for you to know yourself, to be honest with yourself. And when you have that confidence, you have that insight, you will be able to share that not only in the form of information with others when you communicate. Okay, you'll also be able to display it. When you say to someone, "You have to be this," or, "You have to do this for me," you know what? If you're doing it for them first, they're much more likely and much more willing to do that with you and for you. Now, that's, again, very simple, but that's not easy. So, when you think about the people in your life, do a little inventory. If you think about, um, what would be more destructive to someone, not doing what they are, or doing what they're not? Okay, well, you know, that's actually happening at the same time, so it can be hard to discern the difference.

39:42

Speaker 2
If you ask people questions about who they truly are and you can understand that and appreciate and respect and trust those things, you could facilitate their health and wellbeing. But you know what? Ask yourself again this question. Do you want to be a negative person or do you want to be a positive person? There is no neutral energy. There is no inertia. You are moving towards someone or away from them, or with them. And what you are doing and having and being with them is either positive or negative. It's proactive or it's reactive. And so, when you have that kind of interaction, you have that personal power and that opportunity to make changes in the world. Do you take advantage of it? Wow. What are you gonna do now? Well, you know what? Now that you know, there's, there's no ignorance if you have the information and you don't put it to good use, that does also make you accountable. Yeah, you don't have to do a whole lot. Quality over quantity.

40:58

Speaker 2
It is better for you to take the time to get yourself to a higher value in quality. Wait a minute, okay. Now, this is something, my mother was a flight attendant, that reminds me of when, you know, on the flights, on airlines, if you are traveling with a small child, always put the mask on yourself first. You know what? Oh, man, it really, really upset me when society took that to an extreme and said, "You know what? You can go ahead and just neglect everybody else because you're more important than everybody else. Don't you dare put someone else before yourself." Okay. (laughs) Ladies and gentlemen, the whole point of putting the mask on yourself was, in fact, to help other people. (laughs) Okay? So, if you are going to take for yourself at the expense of someone else, ultimately, it still needs to be for the purpose of doing and being good things to and for and with other people.

41:58

Speaker 2
As long as what you are giving to yourself is healthful and unselfish, your quality, the energy that you have, will be good for people just to be around. Now, I'll be honest with you. My daughter, she's an intuitive feeler. My husband is a sensory perceiver. I'm neither one of those things. I'm not feeling or sensory. My daughter, I swe-... fair to you. She can be around someone, close her eyes, and know their soul. She can feel their soul, and she can know exactly how to respond to them. I can't do that. I literally have to say to her sometimes, "Baby, I got nothing. You gotta help me tap into my feeling." My husband, he has sensory perception. He can be around someone and observe them and kind of interact with them directly. His senses, I swear, it's like he has seven senses, because not only are they so heightened, but they're so refined, but they're so accurate. I don't have that. You have to tell me what you need. You have to tell me what you want.

43:01

Speaker 2
Being with people, sometimes you can have that, that insight naturally. Sometimes you just have to tell them, and it's okay when you say to them, "I don't know what I'm doing. Please help me." (laughs) But I wanna give you... I really and truly do want to give you what you need in the way that you need it. That is so powerful, taking care of yourself to say, "I'm gonna say no to you right now, but it's because I wanna make myself a higher-quality version, so that when I do come back together with you to synchronize, and we synergize, what I give you is higher quality." Okay, going back again to the numbers, three and seven. Well, you know what? Let- let's make one person just better a little bit. Three and eight. Yeah. What's three to the eighth power instead of three to the seventh power? 6,581 instead of 2,187. Yeah. Okay. That's considerably better. And you just went one, one number better, right? Or seven to the fourth power instead of seven to the third power. You know what?

44:09

Speaker 2
Instead of 343, it's 2,401. Yeah. That's definitely worth it, even though it's only going from three to four. Yes, it is, in fact, powerful. But again, remember, there's no neutral energy. Ask yourself, when you are more powerful, is your energy positive or negative? Positive will conquer the negative. You have got to make sure that you sustain, you maintain, and you've... All the way to the end, you hold the line. Firmly stand your ground in that situation where there's negativity, and you are the source of what's positive. When you know that you have improved not only the quality of your being, but your quantitative potential to unite with others and make the world a better place, yeah, you know that you have to stay centered in order to sustain that past an individual isolated situation. Now, I took ballet as a young girl. I, w- i- it was tough.

45:17

Speaker 2
I loved doing it, but it was a lot of work, and it seemed like I practiced and practiced and practiced, and I didn't seem to look very impressive. But as I got better, the things that I struggled with in the beginning, once I got the very basics down, I was able to do more and more and more advanced and more graceful things. So it was worth putting the blood, sweat, and tears into the beginning, because that was the foundation. But there were times when my teacher would... We would do, um, routines, but in groups of two to four girls at a time, 'cause there were maybe between 12 and 20 girls in a class. And so, we would just go in groups of three or four, and as we were all going together, we were learning how to synchronize. Look at that. Sometimes we would lose our balance. (laughs) We would fall over, we would trip, or we would struggle with something. My teacher would tell us, "Step aside, okay? Get out of the group. You need to recenter." Oh, it wasn't about balance.

46:22

Speaker 2
It was about being centered, being a healthy... Stable version of who you are. Being centered meant that you were grounded in the way that you distributed your body weight. Now, a girl's body was changing all day, every day, especially through puberty. So knowing how to center yourself meant that when you came back in with the group, you were a higher-quality, right, performer. You were better at what you were doing just minutes before in a not-so-impressive way. Yeah. And, and when I learned that dance was a discipline, discipline didn't mean punishment. It meant mastery. It meant control. It meant skill. Wow, okay. So you know what?

47:16

Speaker 2
When we know (clears throat) that who we are is a very high-quality version of what could easily go one way or the other, could be positive or negative, when we choose to be positive, when we proactively pursue health and success in our life, and then we directly, personally invite people to come into our space to share in that experience with us, to synergize with us, we are giving them not only the opportunity to be the most platinum version of who they are, but to synchronize with us. We are empowering them to make the world a better place. (clears throat) Ask yourself, when you do good things for people, do you regret it? What if bad people are seeming to win, they are seeming to succeed, and the good people seem to fail? Do you give up?

48:14

Speaker 2
You have to know, you have to trust that your good, healthy, quality energy, if you take time out to get yourself into a high-quality version of yourself, what you are bringing to, not only the people in your environment, but the actual physical environment that you're in...

48:35

Speaker 3
Hmm.

48:36

Speaker 2
It is going to improve the whole world in the ripple effect. It is going to affect other people in that same situation, even after you've left. Now, when I tell people there are different things that I do as a coach. (clears throat) As a relationship coach, I teach people how to come together.

49:02

Speaker 3
Hmm.

49:02

Speaker 2
How to be together, because sometimes people say, "I really love this person. I just can't stand to be around them. Help me be around them." (laughs)

49:10

Speaker 3
(laughs)

49:10

Speaker 2
Yeah. Sometimes, it's about getting the- the differences reconciled. Sometimes, it's just self-awareness, knowing and understanding who you truly are enough to be honest with people. Sometimes, it's just getting through daily life. So I ask people, "When you're having a hard time, there's a topic, there's an issue, and there's a problem." Really most of the time, I can ask people, "Is the struggle that you're having right now because you're trying to perform a lower function of your personality, so you're not being true to your organic nature?" Okay. Or is it your- your temporary condition is just low quality, so you need to take a timeout and get yourself back up to a higher quality? Or is it an issue, right, a situation t- that- that environment, this one particular isolated instance, you just don't know what to do with it, so you need to resolve that particular issue in that particular situation?

50:19

Speaker 2
Th- and- and then that removes about 80% of the problem right there (laughs) because you have to know what the actual problem is. And when people know, again, the things that I- I taught over at the shelters, ignorance, indifference, impotence, or incompetence, how often do people just genuinely not know? When you know what the problem is, your energy changes, your attitude changes, your approach changes, and your performance improves. That way, the ignorance has- has completely gone away, okay? But then the indifference, do you care? You have to get reconnected to who you are inside to get centered, to be organic in the way that you truly were meant to be. Then your impotence in a social group, because you're not connected with people, will be a moot point because any power that you lack to perform any particular activity will go away when you synchronize with other people. Yeah. But then there's incompetence. Just, you know what? You just don't n- you're not good at it yet.

51:29

Speaker 2
You just need to practice. You need a lot of practice. Do you know when you tell people upfront, "I am horrible at this. I need a whole lot of practice. Be very patient with me. I appreciate your patience," they are so willing to help you out? First of all, because you were respectful in your honesty with them from the very beginning, and they do appreciate that. They know that if you care enough about them and how they feel and what they need and what they think, to say to them, "I'm gonna acknowledge all of that personally and directly to you," they are more than willing, nine times out of ten, to say, "Yeah. Absolutely. In fact, do you need help? Because I would really like to help you." There is more joy in giving. When you give them the opportunity to give to you in a high-quality way, they are not gonna get upset about it.

52:21

Speaker 2
If they do, that means you need to get them out of your life, and it's a good thing you found out now because you only have the time and opportunity for certain things in certain amounts with certain people. It's very important to have high quality because that way, you don't need a large quantity of anything. Do you believe that? Most people do. They just struggle with things like their reaction emotions. They have anxiety, or they have fear, or they have anger. Those are very, very important emotions. Those are very vital and- and invaluable responses. They are essential to human health and happiness, but they don't understand that anxiety is your body's way of telling you that something could potentially go wrong. I am telling you right now, I'm giving you the heads-up, red flag, something is gonna go wrong. I'm giving you the power to- to make sure that doesn't happen, (laughs) okay? Then there's fear. Fear is, "Yeah, you know what? My life is in danger right now.

53:31

Speaker 2
There is a- an immediate and imminent threat to my existence, so I'm gonna up it with the chemicals and the thoughts and the sensations, all of that," 'cause you need to take action. You need to take action now. Then there's anger. There's the, "You know what? Something already did go wrong, and you didn't take care of it," and your sense of justice has been challenged. And so, your anger is telling you, "You need to resolve an issue. You need to resolve that issue as soon as possible." Those are all very good things. Unfortunately, people react to their reactions. When they do not actually look at the topic, or the issue, or the problem, they don't get any resolution. They don't get any closure. They think that the emotions are bad. They're not. They're very, very potentially good tools and resources that people, if they have good communication, can use to synchronize and synergize. But you know what?

54:31

Speaker 2
I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen, but technology is never going to replace human interaction. It's never going to be better than personal connection.... genuine connection with people. When you disconnect from other people, it's very, very bad for your health. When you disconnect from yourself, it's over. You don't have anything left. And so technology, when you know for a fact that you have to get back together with people to synergize with them, to make the quality of their soul and your soul better, it's worth it. Yes, it's a whole lot of work. (clears throat) But you know what? The, the reward, the payoff is absolutely worth it because, again, it's not what you know, it's who you know. If you have good quality people in your life that you are personally connected to in a high-quality way, that's going to be the foundation for a healthy and happy and successful life. We are meant to be together. I have a website now.

55:44

Speaker 2
I actually have, um, made a few changes to my books, and so there are different versions of substantively the same information. One is about marriage, Till Death Do Us Part. People don't know about how to be together anymore. Then there's the Self Actualization Workbook. Yeah. Then there's the Embrace Your True Nature. The Self Actualization Workbook is my life coaching program. If people want to be, (clears throat) they wanna be successful and healthy and happy, but they don't necessarily wanna hire me, I di- I do a workbook. And then Embrace Your Nature, I explain the levels of functionality and the ways that those things are displayed. For an INTP, my dominant introverted thinking, yeah, it's very different from my ENFJ daughter's inferior introverted thinking. Yes, the exact same activity on four different levels can look four completely different ways. So life-synergy-coaching.com. If you wanna go ahead and call into the station, again, 888-627-6008.

56:58

Speaker 2
This is the new day and time for my show. It will be every single week. I welcome all questions that you may have about relationships. But again, the relationship is only as strong as the people involved in it, the members of that connection. So think about this in the next week, until my show next week. How much of your relationship, relationships, right, plural, um, are really based on the other person, their attitude, their performance? How much of them are yours? How many decisions that you make in relationships are about you, and how much is about the other person? That's something to t- keep in mind. Thank you so much for listening to thi- the show today. My name is Gabrielle Cardona, and this is The Power of Synergy on BBS.

57:55

Speaker 1

Different meaning. Same moment. Different scene. You think it's them. They think it's you. But there's a deeper point of view. You said it straight, they took it wrong. Now you're wondering what went on. Same sentence, different weight. Now you're standing in debate. You call it honest, they feel hit. You move fast, they need to sit. You think silence means they don't care. They think space means you're aware. It's not the words, it's how they land. It's not the fight, it's what they can't. Explain in ways you recognize. 'Cause you're not seeing through their eyes. That's the power. The power of synergy. Understanding what you don't see. Same words but a different code. Different minds on a different road. That's the power. When it finally clicks. Not about wrong, not about fixed.