Speaker Identification

Speaker 1 - Prerecorded Show Announcer / Promotional Voice: Delivers the brief opening and closing Apple Pie Playground promotional lines. The transcript does not establish whether this voice is also Valerie.

Speaker 2 - Valerie, Host: Identifies herself at the beginning of the live portion: "I'm your host, Valerie," and delivers the full episode monologue and expressive self-therapy exercise.

Speaker 1 - Prerecorded Show Announcer / Promotional Voice

Welcome to Apple Pie Playground, where we serve up slices of healing for the heart. Stay tuned for a journey of transformation back to the divine in your child [wording requires verification]. Can you come out and play today?

Speaker 2 - Valerie, Host

Welcome, everybody, to Apple Pie Playground. I'm your host, Valerie, and a big thank you to BBS for doing what you do so well. We love you so much, BBS.

This week has been an energetic doozy, friends, hasn't it? I mean, have you felt the energy this week? We have been in the shadows, friends, and now we are in an energetic brilliance, if you will. It has hurt, with highs and lows, and some folks who are in the know are saying we have had a timeline jump. So, how about that? We are shifting, friends, if you can believe that.

What exactly could I mean by saying that we are shifting? Well, timelines jumping and energy shifting: we are evolving into something of a creation reset point, so to speak, right? Some call it ascension, and others call it revelation, and others think it is complete bullshit, right? But the energies of change are honest. That we know, friends.

Because this week has been such an energetically heavy week, with a lot of emotional pull and many things going on in the cosmic realm, so to speak, as there have been for some time, I really want to share a minute together with those of you barely hanging on this afternoon, wherever you are. You know what I mean, don't you? There is a darkness, and we feel it pushing in, don't we, lost in its last impulses?

But we are brave, friends. You and I - you are brave. I just want you to know that I love you, I am with you, I am for you, and I believe in you. We are being told that it is all just a matter of choosing peace in our current circumstance, and it is, but it is hard-fought sometimes. It has come at a price for so many of us, right?

Sometimes our only real measure is continuing to choose peace, because it is the one choice among a hundred choices a day that pulls us together - mind, body, and spirit - and maybe helps us carry on. The process is a necessary one when we think about it. It is necessary to our evolution as we find the presence of heart to reach for that thing that will fill us with exactly what we need, nothing more and nothing less.

We need spirit in the body, friends. That is what we need. The dark wants us stressed and suffering and stuck, but we are not of the dark. We are the light of the world. You, even in your struggle, are the light of the world. So own it. Own it and find peace. Own it and command peace, friends. Command it into yourself by your spirit.

I command my spirit to flow life force through me, and I command spirit to heal and balance me. I command my spirit to fill me with source light and consciousness.

Those are simple words, powerfully said, even at our weakest moments, friends. We are creators, and we command the realm of the eternal, not the darkness. I feel you, friends, and I love you.

The truth is that the Christ we think we know was tormented in every possible way by the dark. So put on the armor, wear it, and use it. Your light - your determination to step into the light of Source Creator and stay there like a beacon in a lighthouse - might be tormented too. We will talk about that today.

I am wondering whether we can spend an hour together allowing our inner child to ponder a few things out of curiosity, maybe without judging the crazy stuff that might come out of our mouths, right? It is an art, isn't it, when you think about it: listening without interrupting, simply to do it, and asking questions purely to listen to the answers we might get.

Very few of us have perfected the exquisite art of listening. We are not very good at listening when we would much rather talk. I know all about that because I love to talk, and I have something to say about every single thing there is to talk about. I guess that is obvious, when I would probably do better to listen more sometimes.

Just as an aside, there is something extremely attractive about a good listener, isn't there? They draw you in with the anticipation of their attentive silence, and it excites the spirit somehow. Have you noticed that?

Along those lines, I was listening to a conversation recently that sparked my immediate, particular interest. It was one of those conversations that lingers, the kind you think about for days afterward. Anybody know what I mean? I want to reflect on some things I heard as a backdrop to my topic today. I want to share the idea that our lives, and the work of our spirits, are an inside job. It is an inside job in more ways than one.

So, what do I mean? By way of explanation, can we start with this idea of silence? I mean cosmic silence: the beginningness of all that is, the cosmic silence of the before-times, maybe.

What is cosmic silence? The conversation I heard described it as source consciousness. It is the wide-open space that holds pure beingness, the empty anticipation before there is sound, the stillness before vibration. Can we start there, friends? That is the kind of idea being expressed in the conversation I mentioned. We are talking about something that goes beyond a physical identifier into the knowingness of our spirit.

The conversation referenced a book by [David Icke - spelling/title requires verification] called The Roadmap: Escaping the Maze of Madness [title requires verification], which the speaker indicated was published this year. I have not read it, okay, but I might, because the conversation was so fascinating. I want to add to the pieces I heard as best I can and recommend that you dive a little deeper for yourselves, okay?

In many ancient philosophies, source creation is understood as the void, or the still, silent receptacle for what bursts forward as creation. Does that make sense? It is considered the empty vessel that we fill with enlightenment.

I am wondering: Is it scary to conceive of source consciousness as the essence of nothing more than silence that knows everything, is aware of everything, and is, by that means, consciousness itself - the receptacle of consciousness itself, this great singular essence? I guess we could imagine it as the seed planted deep inside everything created. Does that make sense?

This cosmic silence is a cosmic seed planted in the consciousness of everything able to hold consciousness, and it creates the holding of consciousness within us as a kinetic kind of consciousness, ready to bloom when the will decides to create. Can you picture it, friends?

Then there is a burst of creation, forming the evolution of everything - this light that will evolve eternally from its origins. The great silence imbues its burst of creation with energy that masterminds the somethingness now, the beingness that comes forth as spirit. It does that through conscious awareness. Spirit divides itself, and consciousness flows with that division.

Then, I guess, we are off to the races as co-creator spirits in this void of potential, kinetic creation. We utilize our energetics to dream worlds and universes and all manner of realities, right? We call those material worlds quantum, and we energize these worlds and control them. This world was created, energized, and controlled. Can you see that? Can you imagine it, friends?

Who energized our world? Is it who we think it is? Have we ever asked that question? Who controls this world, filled with a darkness that spirit could never anticipate until its incarnation into the quantum materiality of the physical world we live in - a world we keep incarnating into without rest? I mean, that is what we are doing.

Is it worth some meditation on questions like that? Can our inner child suppose, with curiosity, questions like those and entertain potential answers in a way that might come through the still, quiet silence of that tether to source that we have?

We might ask: Why must we be rescued from a creator that comes from source, and who is this creator that causes us to need rescue from the Source God of our creator consciousness? I wonder: Are we curious enough for questions like these?

In the noise and chaos of this physical world, few of us ever consider that the closest we could ever get to our source again is in the silence between us: the still quiet that holds space for us to return as children of God, metaphorically speaking, I suppose.

Yet we fill that space, don't we, with all the things we hope will help us embody the silence? We fill the silence with things that we hope embody God: the sermon, the music, the choir, the organ, the piano, the prayers, the liturgies, the congregational responses shared in religious gatherings, and the testimonies of faith. It is a lot of sound, isn't it? We go to holy places to find a connection to a silent source, and we fill that silence with noise, trying to feel God and find God.

I have been trying to find God a long time, friends. I have picked up every breadcrumb I could, and in my desperation I have missed him every single time. Maybe the idea is that we should allow God to come to us. What do you think?

We get quiet and still, and we just let go. We allow what is to be. What is not meant for us, we allow to fall away. We cry if we have to, always breathing in a new hope, though, friends. Always breathing in a new hope. Can we do that? Then breathe out as we build our peace and insist that it surrounds us.

Instead of talking and talking and thinking and thinking, with all the sound we make trying to capture the silence and all the motion that it takes, we are spirits crying out to feel the void, even as life gets busy, loud, and noisy. Our heads get busy and loud. We talk and talk as a way to animate the essence underlying the noise, but we cannot hear anything while we are talking. We pray and pray, and we never hear a thing. We never hear an answer.

We fill special time with Source God with as much language as we can to help describe what we need and what we want. Mostly, we want answers that we never hear. Is it any wonder that we never engage the sound of silence? We never feel that knowing instead of noise, and inspiration comes to those who offer space to time without thinking and experience without words.

We think, "Well, we have done our part," being as noisy and energetic as we can, but still we get no answer from God until we are forced to sit down. Sometimes it is truly forceful, that force that sits us down against a wall, maybe, as we are pushed against a wall. We are forced to be still, to shut our mouths, and just listen to what is nothing, I suppose, at first.

This nothing grows into a stirring in our heart, and we cry because we feel the unspeakable and the unnameable blossom from that seed of source creation from so long ago in this eternal now: that seed planted in us called our spirit, the spirit nourished by the light of God. We have let go of the energy of motion, the forces of manifesting, and the laws of materiality, and we are sitting with pure essence.

It feels like home, doesn't it? Like our true selves, like a breath of fresh air, like what we long for and cannot find in the material world around us. Then, and only then, we start to hear things in a still, small voice, like a pulse that feels like answers, finally; that feels like responses, quiet cogitations of inspiration and truth, maybe, in the stillness, on the inside, within us: essence stirred within.

Does that make sense, friends? It is purely an inside job. Reaching our spirit is purely an inside job. It comes from within, friends, in the silence of the beginning of everything kinetic and source creation.

Part of the conversation I overheard was about the human misinterpretation of what our life force really is. We mistake it as a quantum experience in a physical reality, like humanity on an earth, for example. We believe that the quantum of things, the energy that burst forth from source creation, is the source of creation itself, right?

We equate this reality with our cosmic identity, and we conceive of ourselves as humans rather than spirits of an eternal nature. It comes, maybe, to the physical construct of a material world, and we place limitations on that life force energy that sustains us, right? We think we are the essence of what is around us in a materiality, in a quantumness of energy, but we are not, friends. We are not.

We are, rather, the essence of light that is a resonance of spiritual frequencies, unified in source consciousness: individual, sovereign spirits searching for synchronicity with what exists outside the materiality of quantum, with what existed before the quantum energetics that create our daydreams and our nightmares, to sing songs of what the creation process once was. That is what our spirit wants to do.

We are the collection of the frequencies of each of us, unified in source consciousness. We are commanders of our own creating. We command source creation. That is the doing out of the silence of the all-knowing. Do we understand that, friends? Does it make sense?

The material realm around us is a backdrop, an illusion that captivates us and captures us inside it. It makes us mortal and small and limited and corrupted and forgetful and impoverished and lonely and suicidal because it defines us now. After all this time being here, incarnation after incarnation, it causes us as eternal spirits to consider ending our own essence. Can you imagine that? That level of violent darkness. Think about that. That is true power in an illusion that captivates us so.

We forget our celestial selves with a host of dark goodies and treasures and identities and competitions and excitements and struggles and pain and suffering. Do we see that? After a while, we stop trying to break free from the matrix that it makes, and we begin to believe this reality is our true reality, that this is what is real. We forget we are spirits captured here by a darkness, if we can believe that.

Why do you think we need an ascension, friends? Why does the cosmos need to turn itself off so that the false light will fall away? What is this idea of revelation all about? Why on earth are our younger generations talking so much about apocalypse and Armageddon as if they were just turns of phrase? Only true spirit tethered to source will remain after this physicality falls away, friends.

Why are we working so hard to connect with our source through conscious awareness, which is the base of source creation itself? Why do we beg people to sit down and get quiet and allow source to reach us, away from the noise and away from the darkness? Why do we do that?

Because we need a way. We need a way to reconnect to the shared field of consciousness that is spirit resonating with God, each and every one of us. We have to be sure we are connected, right? We are connected to, and consciously aware of, the real source of our beingness and not false light. We need a way of shifting out of a false consciousness that the material world offers. Does that make sense, friends?

It is our duty to spirit to connect ourselves, to go back to source, to the silence, and to avoid the noise whenever we can. For "I AM" is there, friends, in the quiet company you keep with yourself. "I AM THAT I AM" is the true you.

Anything after "I AM" - anything spoken after the "I AM" - is a construct. It is a limitation. It is an identity that binds us to less than what we are. It is an identity that fills our days with duties to any manner of other things than to our own true beingness, friends.

We are in it to win it, aren't we, here in this materiality? We want to love this trip we are on here in the quantum, this trip that hurts a lot of the time, but we try so hard, right? The distractions on this trip are just enough to help us forget how to get home: home to the silence that is full conscious awareness of what we really are - the "I AM."

That is allness and everything we are, the "I AM" that we are, saying: Do not limit us. Do not enslave us. Do not fabricate the light for us. We demand our liberties, and we command our "I AM" as the conscious creators that we are.

Is it possible that so many of us cannot free ourselves from the guilt we feel at professing our own inner Christos? Are we feeling guilty by commanding our spirits to anchor us to our own source consciousness? Is it religion that has us feeling like sinners when we step into the "I AM" space where God really is, and we feel scared to suggest that we are spirits as God's manifest from source consciousness?

How dare we do such a thing? How dare we be a Christ? How dare we anchor ourselves in a manner that keeps us sovereign from this material world? And why? Why do we not dare? Are we expecting to be struck down from on high by something or somebody?

Friends, that is false light talking, and it is very, very loud: false light of fear and control and darkness. There is none of that in source creation. But it is done to keep us cowering in a pew, afraid of a jealous, [warring/worrying - word requires verification] God of the Old Testament, and that is not our God, friends. That is the God of the dark, if we are brave enough to consider it. It is the God of a controlled agenda put onto pages of books of every single religion.

Please, please do not let me offend. I cannot help but say what I say. Maybe feel into the idea, friends. Do not trust me. Feel into it yourself. Find your own knowing. Trust yourself, and do not be afraid to consider your own magnificence in the matter. You are true magnificence. Do not ever let anybody tell you that you are not.

You are not here to learn a lesson. You are not here to cower to a Christ on a cross that is a false light trying to get you to feel guilty about the "I AM" that is you.

We used to be the "I AM" with wild abandon as kids. Oh, yes, we used to have wild abandon as the "I AM." Can you remember your childhood? All of the imagination and creativity - it was unbounded, wasn't it?

Children do this extraordinary thing, and it is called object substitution. They think symbolically. What is symbolic thinking? Well, a mop is not just a mop, right? It is a horse, or it is a lance, or a lightsaber, or a girlfriend with long hair, or something to jump over, or something to dance with. Do we see that? Children "I AM" all over the place, all the time, all day, every single day, until they learn not to.

Concrete, rational thought starts taking over, and then children become self-conscious. I want you to think about that word: self-conscious. We become self-conscious. We step into the polarity of a matrix, and things become right or wrong, good or bad. Our source consciousness becomes self-consciousness in its limitations, and our self becomes material. It becomes ego. It becomes mind because we are being taught an identity and rules for managing a physical world, and our inspiration disappears. Our imagination disappears into an ever-expanding thinking brain, and the "I AM" fades away, doesn't it?

For most of us, our "I AM" faded. That spark of our magnificence dimmed, and our light dimmed. With a little abuse or neglect, or too much responsibility or judgment or unreasonable expectation, some of us stopped flickering altogether, didn't we?

But I want you to know that we can command spirit back into the body if we want to. We can command it back, friends. We can call it back. We can command it to increase our life force, to fill us with source light. We can do that anytime we need to.

As we said, many ancient philosophies centered their teachings on resting in the silent void, the silent void of prime creation, as practices for maintaining that connection to conscious awareness. What they filled the void with was consciousness rather than identity and ego and the need for material things. Does it cause us to ask ourselves what our cup is filled with right now, friends? What is our cup filled with right now?

The Tao teaches its followers to become mirrors of the true universe by allowing for spaciousness in the mind, to allow the non-thinking that moves it into an ever-everythingness, I guess, of source consciousness. This spaciousness fills the cup that has been emptied of ego, materiality, limitation, and suffering, allowing what is to be without judging or wanting or expecting.

It is a hard practice much of the time if we are not dedicated to continuing to empty the cup of the mind and allow ourselves the emptiness that mirrors source's silent, kinetic seeding of a spirit at peace with knowing itself as more than physicality. Do we see that? More than quantum energy, but that which supersedes the quantum, that which came before the quantum?

There is a limitlessness to such a practice that helps us remember our true natures and lets us put the perspective we have about life inside a matrix in its rightful place. Do we see that as a mechanization of an energetic reality that we would resist being captive of? We are the creators, which means resisting the intrusion of being created upon. That means the natural laws of sovereign beingness demand our release from a matrix holding us prisoner. But it is up to us to reimagine the false reality that captures us. Does that make sense, friends?

That means we become limitless as the "I AM" that we are. Maybe we need to remember ourselves and refuse to play on the playgrounds that impose rules against our sovereignty. How about that? We insist on using our creation powers for good. Does that make sense, friends? Do we understand the idea we are talking about today?

We build playgrounds that are anchored in light, that are safe for the spirit, that are unified in source, and consciously aware at all times of the "I AM" that energizes us. We are anchored. We are safe. We are unified. And we are conscious.

I woke up with that mantra today. It has been in my mind, and I thought I would share it. That is what we are. It is what we do, right? Just ask [Chris Potter - reference requires verification]. I promise that is my only reference today to [Come Through: The Legend Continues - title requires verification]. I had to get that in there. That is what we are. That is what we do, right?

There is a stage of development toddlers go through called mirror self-reflection. It is the point when a child realizes she is looking at herself in a mirror and not somebody else, such as another child. She sees her true self at that moment as she becomes consciously aware of the mirror being. She becomes conscious of her beingness.

Up until that time, her experiences were focused on the otherness of the environment she was in. She really had no attachment to her body as a self, to her spirit beingness as a self in a material realm. As adults, I am curious whether we are focused on the otherness of a physical experience without an attachment to our spiritual selves.

Is that what we go through our day doing, attending to this physical experience rather than attaching what we are doing to a spiritual beingness? Are we primarily the workings of the environment - molded by it, swayed by it, limited by it? We limit the spirit in those ways without a spiritual mirror self-reflection.

Do we see that our eternal self may not be so much a part of the physical identity we hold, and our spirit is not recognized because of it? Does that make sense? Hopefully, at some point, we realize there is a true essential self. There is a true essence and a physical identity self that may not be the same experience or essence necessarily. They may not want the same things, need the same things, or prefer the same things.

Maybe our good work is coalescing the spirit into a physical body with a big brain that may have better things to do. Does that make sense? But until there is recognition of the spirit as our true essence, we are not really going to internalize source consciousness, right? At some point, we will be missing out on what ascends us if we are not very careful, if we are not aware, if we are not integrating spirit or embodying it, as it were, in our physicality. It may mean, friends, that we need a little mirror time with our spirits. How about that? What do you say to that?

What do you say, maybe, to a quick expressive exercise together before we go? We like to spend time doing a little expressive self-therapy on Sunday afternoons, and I am so glad we do. Today, I thought we would revisit that mantra I shared with you. Want to?

We are anchored. We are safe. We are unified. And we are conscious.

Let us work with that a little bit. Some of us like to use a notebook during activities, but really, anything to write on and anything to write with will do. If we cannot get to a table, we can always meditate on the questions as we go. It is our choice how we would like to experience our expressive self-therapy together.

We are going to engage our natural stream of consciousness in this activity, and we are going to do some free writing, guided only by the questions I ask. The idea is to write down the first thing that comes to mind and allow ourselves time to reflect on what we have captured and why. The why is an important part of our self-reflection. It may come sometime during the week, or a few days from now, when we sit down and say, "Oh, this thing that I just experienced has me thinking about my little exercise that I did on Sunday. Let me see what I think about that and what it might mean for me."

Are we ready? Get anything to write on and anything to write with. It is a wonderful opportunity to do a little natural stream-of-consciousness thinking and free writing together.

Let us draw four boxes on a piece of paper. Make them just large enough to write a few words or phrases inside each box. Are we ready? Four boxes on a piece of paper, large enough to write a few words or phrases inside each one.

In the first box, let us reflect on what anchors us in our lives to our spirit. What anchors us to our spirit? Let us be as specific as we can. Capture the first things that come up for you, the first things that come to mind, and put them on your paper. Do you have it?

Let us go to the next box. Here is your question for box number two: What makes us feel safe? I mean truly safe. Be as specific as you can. What makes us truly safe? What is safety to you? Think about that and record what comes up in box number two. What is safety to you? Get those first thoughts down.

Third box. Are we ready? What unifies you with your spirit? You can take that any way you want to: as literally as you want to, as specifically as you want to, or as metaphorically as may come up. What unifies you with your spirit? What does that mean to you? How do you interpret it? If you are thinking, "I do not know what you mean, Val," then just put that down, and maybe guess what it might mean for you. What unifies you with your spirit? Write your first thoughts.

Last box, box number four: What does conscious awareness mean for you? If you had to define it according to your interpretation, what does conscious awareness mean for you? How do you experience it? Get the first thing that comes to mind onto the paper. Maybe this week you can spend time adding to that thought and to your definition, feeling into a fuller contemplation of the question: How do you experience conscious awareness?

Now take a minute, and we are going to rank your answers in order of certainty. Rank your boxes one through four according to how certain you were of your answers. Consider each box and rank them according to how comfortable you were writing your answers.

A number one is your most certain answer, your clearest answer with the greatest clarity and certainty. Which box were you able to answer with the greatest clarity and certainty? Put a number one there - the one you are most sure about, the one that came easiest as an answer.

Now choose a number two and a number three. Which were the next easiest answers to arrive at? Then take a look at the remaining box, the one left for last, about which perhaps you were not so certain. It may help you to spend a little more time in contemplation on that particular idea this week, if you want to.

Would it surprise you to know that many folks, according to themselves, have no good explanation for how they experience conscious awareness as they define it? They do not have a clear idea of how they experience conscious awareness. We talk about it all the time, but have we really considered what it means for us, how it feels, how we might define it, how we notice that it is there, and how we notice when we are in a consciously aware state? This may be an opportunity for further contemplation.

The idea of consciousness is highly subjective and very hard to measure scientifically. Most folks will have explanations that truly differ on the point. That is in large part because people try to find a feeling to attach to the idea of conscious awareness. If in your box you see feeling words, that is not so unnatural a response. If you explained conscious awareness as a feeling, you are not alone, friends. Maybe this week you might consider how often you feel that feeling and how you might increase the experience of feeling conscious awareness.

That was a super-short exercise. We usually go a little longer, but I am so glad that you shared it with me, and I hope it serves in some way, friends. It might give you something to think about and contemplate this week, and to come to terms with as a practice that serves us as we consider how aware we are, when we get that awareness, how to create it, what it feels like, and what it means.

I have enjoyed our time together so very much. I enjoy Sundays together so much. But now it is time to go home, time to leave the playground for home, friends. I want to thank you, BBS, for being on the playground with us, as always. And so, everyone, until next time, I am headed home, friends.

Speaker 1 - Prerecorded Show Announcer / Promotional Voice

Thanks for being a part of today's journey. We will see you back on the playground next Sunday at 1:00 p.m. Central Time on bbsradio.com. Make sure to subscribe if you enjoyed the show. Find us on Telegram and X to share your insights on today's topics. Your input heals the child in us all.