The Hostile Zone, July 22, 2024
Dating Then and Now From the 80s and 90s to 2024 The Hostile Zone
Join us in this episode of “The Hostile Zone” as Eric A. Cinotti and Bianca Sea explore the fascinating evolution of dating practices from the 1980s and 1990s to today in 2024. They delve into how societal changes, technological advancements, and shifting attitudes have transformed the dating landscape over the decades.
Eric A. Cinotti sets the stage with an insightful introduction to the evolution of dating, highlighting key differences between the past and present. This episode features a quote from Aristotle: “Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.” This quote underscores the enduring human desire for deep, meaningful connections.
Key Discussion Points:
The 1980s: The Era of Safe Sex and Social Liberation
The impact of the HIV/AIDS epidemic on sexual behavior and the rise in condom sales.
The balance between casual dating and health awareness during this pivotal decade.
The 1990s: Speed Dating and the Dawn of Online Connections
The emergence of speed dating as a popular and efficient way to meet potential partners.
The revolutionary launch of online dating platforms like Match.com and their influence on modern dating.
2024: Digital Dominance and Evolving Norms
The significant role of dating apps and social media in today’s dating scene.
New trends such as “canon-bailing,” “thera-posing,” and the focus on authentic connections and mental health.
Bianca Sea’s Contributions:
Personal experiences and insights on the convenience and challenges of using dating apps.
The importance of video calls before in-person dates and maintaining authenticity online.
The shift towards prioritizing emotional intimacy and mental health in relationships.
Summary & Conclusion:
Eric A. Cinotti summarizes the episode, emphasizing that despite the changes in how we meet and connect, the fundamental quest for meaningful connections remains constant. He calls for adapting to new norms while holding onto timeless values of love and companionship.
Cinotti’s Call to Action:
Stay engaged and open-minded.
Reflect on your own dating experiences and how societal shifts have influenced them.
Embrace the tools and platforms available today, but prioritize authenticity and meaningful connections in your relationships.
Warnings and Dating Advice:
Beware of Catfishing: Always verify the identity of your online matches. Catfishing remains a significant issue, with 15% of online daters reporting having been scammed.
Avoid Oversharing Early On: Premature intimacy, or sharing too much too soon, can overwhelm potential partners. Take time to build trust gradually.
Mental Health Matters: Prioritize your mental health and seek partners who do the same. Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and emotional well-being.
Be Aware of Modern Trends: Understanding trends like “orbiting” and “breadcrumbing” can help you navigate the complexities of modern dating.
360x365, keep your head on a swivel, 180 degrees each direction, 365 days a year. Danger never takes a day off, so we can’t either.
Show Closing with Thank You:
Thank you for joining us tonight on The Hostile Zone. Special thanks to co-host Bianca Sea and all our expert contributors. Remember to tune in for our follow-up analysis in future episodes. Good night and keep exploring the world of relationships with an open heart.
Historic Quote:
“Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.” – Aristotle
Aristotle was a Greek philosopher and polymath during the Classical period in Ancient Greece. Taught by Plato, he was the founder of the Lyceum and the Peripatetic school of philosophy and Aristotelian tradition.
Funny Joke:
Why don’t relationships in the digital age work? Because there’s too much buffering!
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Welcome to the Hostile Zone. Welcome to the Hostile Zone. You're with the infamous and dangerous and always in your face, Eric Andrew Sinati. Eric A. Sinati. Who? Eric Sinati, of course. right here on the Hostile Zone. Yet another day, another dollar, another 50 cents, depending on inflation and where you are in the world. Welcome to the Hostile Zone. I'm Eric Acinati, your humble correspondent and host of the Hostile Zone. we welcome you to another wonderful episode and as always we thank you for your continued support and your continued watching the show as our success is merely because of you we just show up I'm accompanied by the on-air vocal sensationalist miss bianca c s e a welcome to the show miss bianca Oh, thank you. Thank you very much. Hi, Bianca C. That's me. Hello, everyone. Hello. Hello. How are you? Good. Another show? Yes, another show, another day. Another show, another day, another show, another 50 cents, another dollar. Yes, definitely. But anyway, so, okay. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. It's the hostile zone. We're going to take it to more of a not so political as always. But let's start off the ticker. If you're watching on your TV screen, on your local station or on your cable networks or one of the streaming competitors that we're working with on the screen below on the ticker, you can get me at the hostile zone at BBS talk radio dot com. the hostile zone at bbstalkradio.com or eric sanadi at bbstalkradio.com eric sanadi at bbstalkradio.com or bianca c s-c-a like the ocean at bbstalkradio.com bianca c at bbstalkradio.com so anyway oh I was staring at the wrong camera All right, well, when we do an opening monologue, we'll stick to the monologue camera. When you see me looking at the wrong camera, let's go to the right camera. They're cueing me to watch this one. All right, they're cueing me to the wrong camera. Opening monologue, there we go. I'm staring at, I'm staring at, thank you, production. I'm staring at this camera and I'm talking to this one. The light's on. we're not being seen okay so anyway so thank you for having us on the correct cam all right so welcome to another riveting episode of the hostile zone tonight we're going to dive deep into a very fat I find and I think miss bianca see you'll find this fascinating Okay. We're going to dive into an interesting topic. Not, you know, very political, more, you know, fun, but political, but political because it is an election year. Okay. And whatever. But it's fascinating about the evolution of dating. the united states let's say the evolution of dating exploring how practices and norms have shifted from the 80s 90s right up into 2024. the the the way we talk about it the way we go about it the things that we do when we're on a date the role and gender things are all up in the air um So it's a new world, right? It definitely is. I'm feeling it. Yeah, it definitely is. Definitely, definitely. So, yeah, it's really, when you think about it, 80s, 90s to 2024. Yeah, I mean, I was an 80s baby, so, you know. right yeah what do you think I'm I'm not I'm I wasn't dating in the 80s either we're just we were born around the same time so um okay anyway but uh dating trends provide a unique lens a very unique lens like glasses lens of what the broader spectrum of society as a whole is. See, you might take this as like what a dating situation is by, you know, how a man meets a woman and woman meets a man and what they do when they're together. But it is a subsection of, the society as a whole. You're talking a large percentage of society is dating class with the divorce rate over 65%, almost pushing 70%. Last I heard it was like 67 or something like that. Don't bother and troll me on that. But this is a major slice of our society. So with that slice, it also articulates a lot of other people. You're laughing. We got somebody banging in the green room. I don't know if there's a party or Angelo's trying to tell me something. Or Carrie, am I right over there? Carrie in production, are you banging on a green wall or something over here? Okay, anyway. So it really is the dating trends are like a social slice of society in general. So it actually explains the broader societal changes in general, how society has changed just in the way we do everything. And dating is just one thing that we do in the modern world. But it is a major part. So there are technological advantages, right? There's technological advantages and there's technological disadvantages. Those of us who, not me personally, but people have been what they call catfished. Catfishing, oh, that's a major thing. Good time for a meow sound. If we could cue up a meow sound production, we'd be all right. But for real. I'm sure production can hear them. But, you know, the technological advances, and it also shows the evolving attitudes among, you know, just men, women, and the generational differences between the people. i feel like nowadays it's like an interview well you know what did you ever go on like a speed dating To be honest, I have not. I did that. My friend. How was that? I did it a bunch of times. I'll tell you why. And it really is not in my planned notes, but it goes with our story segment. I'll tell it real quick. I could imagine, like, it's impossible for you to be, like, talking about yourself in such a short term. I fall into a sea hole way too easy, folks. Do you let the other person talk? Are you speaking right now? Are you speaking right now? So from the rise of speed dating, let me tell you of speed dating quickly. So I had a friend that was a really good friend of mine. I don't want to say her name because I never dated her, but we were friends, really good friends. And I don't want to mention her name. She's a police officer and a ranking member of a department in New Jersey. Well, you don't have to describe what she is. I'm just saying I don't want to call her out on the show. You're getting all detailed. She's going to be like, I know who it is. So anyway, so her, her aunt or somebody had a little side business of speed dating. So they needed guys and girls to be there and they needed specifically attractive guys. Oh. Because generally girls show up to these things. The fill-in guys. So, you know, guys show up, but generally guys that are not going to go to a bar and get a girl. Where, you know, the girls, maybe not always the hot ones show up. So she wanted my friend to show up for more girls to be there and at least an attractive guy to be there. And it was actually kind of fun. I did it. You know, you sit in there and you get like, I don't know, like a minute and you hit the bell. Ding, you hear the bell. Ding, they ding the bell. You got to get up and go to your next table. Everybody's wearing a number, a sticker. Like, hello, my name is. Do you remember the number that you were wearing? No, you get a new number every time you go. I did it. Oh, really? Yeah. So it was old school. Folks, this was old school. Wow. So this was like, we had email, obviously, but we didn't have like crazy texting and they didn't give out anything like that. So I came up, hello, my name. And I would say my name was whatever when I met. But on the sticker on my jacket, shirt, whatever I was wearing, said a number. And only the woman that ran the dating experience knew who was assigned each number. So everybody's number was only the dating person. So when you left, when the five minutes was up, she talked, I talked, we looked at each other, we felt it out if there was something there or not, yes, yay or nay. And then... the bell rings and you go to your next table and there's maybe 20 people, you know, so you're there an hour or whatever, you know? And, uh, and then by the end of the night, she would, um, she would send out an email to everybody that was there. And in the email, if, when I left your table, let's say you and I were sat and we were talking and when I walked away, you add your form and everybody's number on it and you either check yes or no. Oh, so you, if I was number, number 12 and I sat down and you were number six and, oh, that was weird. I just did a math. Shout out to Elon. So yeah, because you're thinking like Elon, like brains everywhere, scattered brains. So you're 12 and I'm six. So you're six and I'm 12 and we're at the same table. I get up and leave and I'm like, I liked that girl. So next to six, I circle yes, right? I get up and you circle 12. At the end of the day, when the whole thing is over, you'd maybe note everybody or yes to everybody or nothing. Well, if you both said yes, when she got the paid, like the time card back, you know, at the end of the night, if both numbers said yes to the same number, they both got an email with each other's phone number. Oh, cool. So at the end of the night, like, you know, four hours later, you would check your email and it would say, oh, hello, Eric, you matched with number six. Her name is, boom, here's her number. You matched with number five. Her name is, and number 12, her name is, et cetera. So, all right. So that was that. That was my quick story on it. it was fun it was fun I never knew how that worked it was done at a coffee bar it was pretty fun I mean it was all right I made a good time I mean whatever people paid for it so that was the thing you had to pay but I didn't like I said we were at we were like fill-ins you know how much was it back then I don't know to be honest with you I don't know what did people pay for that no I couldn't tell you because I didn't pay I wouldn't pay I mean why would I pay for that So anyway, so that was the big thing then. Then we moved into dating apps. So from the rise of speed dating to online platforms, yes, that was the next one. Plenty of fish. Me and all my friends went on. Actually, no. No, no, no, no. We went on Match.com. That was the first one. My one friend gave it a great name, and he called it Snatch.com. We'll probably have to bleep that. OMG. But that's what he called it. It was pretty funny. No filter for you. No, no filter. But they made a movie named Snatch. So, I mean, come on. So, we had the rise of speed dating to online dating, which is still obviously a big thing, to apps. Today, we're going to cover it all. We're going to talk about all of it. We're going to talk about all the nonsense and craziness. And this is why you're here on the Hostile Zone. So, we got to hit our relevant quote because, you know what, it's not going to be a good show if we don't give you a relevant quote. Love is comprised of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. Wow, huh? Deep, huh? It really was. I don't know what to tell you. Was that a good one? I don't know. It was so good. I don't know. We screwed that up. There it is. Oh, thank you, production. Thank you. Love is comprised of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. Aristotle. oh so for those of you out there and I hope everybody but you know I i the professor hat comes on aristotle was a renowned greek philosopher whose works have profoundly influenced western thought okay I mean people whenever you're hearing Greek philosophy, you're hearing anything philosophy, Aristotle is the one. His perspective on love reflects the enduring human desire for deep and meaningful connections. That's really what the key was with him. So I found that to be so interesting. It was a good quote, right? Yeah, it was. I liked it. Did you feel good with it? Was it a feel-good quote? It made me feel good. Did you get a warm and fuzzy over it? I was really fuzzy and warm. Yes. the 1980s in the era of safe sex right and but social liberation kind of a contrast there a little bit social liberation and safe sex because if you're socially liberated then you're out there free love go sleep with everybody but at the same time 60s actually alright but we're not going back that far on that because I mean did they even have TV I don't know I'm just kidding. It wasn't in color. Angela's giving me the finger. It definitely wasn't in color. No, they have color. I don't know. Angela, Carrie, somebody can tell. Some. Yeah, right. So, yeah. So, you know, we really did. The AIDS epidemic came out huge then. You think about it. So, think about it. I mean, we weren't dating. I mean, I remember when everyone was like, Magic Johnson got HIV. magic doesn't remember it was like oh my god he's gonna die he's dead he's still alive yeah and I was like in sixth fifth grade fourth grade fifth grade I'm like and here we are this period we were mourning the death sentence of this of this guy who is going to outlive us but um yeah so that was so the 80s was the it was the the era of um of people who were still wide stupid from the 70s and 60s. But then we had this AIDS epidemic. So the impact of HIV and AIDS, just without falling into a sea hole, HIV is the immune virus. So it's the virus. AIDS is post-HIV. So when you're HIV, you can give HIV to somebody, but not always. It doesn't guarantee it. But you're not also having any symptoms. You don't die from HIV. You die from AIDS. And you don't die from AIDS. You die from your immune system. that aids is destroying and you die from some other disorder pneumonia or something else yeah quick quick note on that you know so um the impact of aids epidemic in the 80s saw a dramatic rise and the awareness of of hiv and aids led to significant changes in sexual behavior the emphasis on safe sex resulted in a 33 percent ready for this 33 increase in condom sales in 1987 alone 33% increase in the sale of condoms. It doesn't say what brand. Wow, cha-ching, huh? You know, cha-ching, right? The condom industry. And now they got everything else. You know, who knows? Casual dating with health awareness. I wonder what kind was it? Because they had different... You know, I don't... I mean, I don't know at that age, but I'm going to guess. What was the... Trojan was the original big... No, like the... Lifestyles or Trojan. Was it lambskin or whatever? I remember in health class, they said you couldn't... Lambskin was not good. because it actually had very minor, you know, like pores, like pores of the skin where something could seep through. But I mean, when you really think about what's happening here, any amount of time that that little something could get in that itty bitty lambskin pore into the other person, any amount of times that this thing is going back and forth in and out of, you know what I'm saying? And how long is fluid gonna be in there, in the receptacle inside the, this doesn't make sense. but yeah at the time new science new thoughts and you know what nobody wants to spread the hiv virus so I mean whatever yeah um so this was an ongoing uh you know public epidemic which obviously significantly impacted the dating scene for many people um you know safe sex practices were were spread across everywhere everybody talked about it yeah um so uh you know and then the whole thing abstinence right so So then in the 90s, though, you know, people, there was a little bit of a change. We moved into now where there was a lot more of the online now stuff. And people were feeling more comfortable. Magic Johnson was still alive, right? And, you know, I don't know how many people actually know. Have you ever met somebody with HIV that you know of? That I know of? No. I've known maybe two people. Now, in my professional self, in the various roles that I've held governmentally, emergency management, military, and law enforcement, criminal justice, whatever, everything that I've been involved in, I've come across many HIV people. However, as I'm asking you, J&Q Public, not many people actually know somebody with it. No. Or met somebody. Or if you do, that they don't tell people. And they don't tell me. So or then you find out after a long period of time that you've been hanging out with somebody along and they had you only tell. Yeah, I was going to say, I'm like, you can only tell when it's too late. Well, you find when you find out. I mean, I donated blood and I donate blood all the time. Besides, I get checked up all the time, but I donate blood and they always would tell you anyway. Yeah. So anyway, so people did loosen up a little bit in the 90s because I think what we just said, the concept of, OK, well, nobody really has really seen somebody with HIV. They never really experienced. It's kind of like this. This is your brain on drugs and they drop an egg in the frying pan. I remember that commercial. Yeah, yeah. They needed to see something. So they put the brain, the egg in the frying pan so you could see the brain sizzle, right? The egg sizzle. Well, to push the condom world and this AIDS and HIV thing, and I'm not saying it's any kind of government scam. Don't get me wrong. I'm not going conspiracy. and I'm not saying I didn't do a condom sales or anything I'm saying just that the public the general I feel as the public if they're not seeing it they don't believe it and then with in the 90s with the rise of the internet and everything else they're not seeing it magic johnson's still alive they're finding out people like charlie sheen and other people have it it really you know it is what it is and now where we are there's this there's uh medications that people take to avoid even getting it yeah And then there's ones that when you have it, you take it and it drops you to not having it. So you can't give it. Only when you're on a medicine. Yeah. But this isn't an HIV show. So the rise of speed dating did kick up at that point with the online stuff. And it emerged to be a very popular way to meet potential partners efficiently. And I say efficiently probably because you meet somebody in a loud bar. You know, everybody's got an agenda. You know, the girl has an agenda sometimes for just some free drinks. The guy has an agenda to try to get, to have a sexual relations with the woman. Sometimes not always, not, we don't always come in there with the worst intentions, but you know, it does happen. And not every girl is asking for a free drink, you know? So, but people are coming in and these things are happening. So if you want to fit this online process, we're not talking apps yet. We didn't get there. We're just talking like match.com. So this is like before MySpace. This is MySpace, MySpace on Match.com. Before that, that's how a lot of people were trying to hook up and getting to know some people. Yes, yes. Well, that's kind of where they, yeah. Well, my generation, MySpace was the first. Yeah, MySpace, Facebook, yeah. I mean, it basically provides a structured environment where participants, the people in the dating world, could be matched by base of general interests. Yeah. values, interests, even down to religion and racial stuff if you wanted to. And then you could also gauge with a group of people, not at the same time, but I mean, a lot of people and have several conversations with people. And you could ultimately pick a better mate that way than if you go to a bar, it's loud. How many guys and girls are you going to have a genuine conversation with in a bar night with your friends, with the music and drinks? It's true. As compared, right? And also clubbing, too. That's even worse. You can't even have a conversation. Well, when I said clubbing, I was including bars. Oh, yeah. Bars and clubs. I'm from Jersey, so it's all the same thing, right? Remember? So you, too. You should know. Jenkinsons, all that. Yeah, yeah. I mean, going to Jenks in Jersey Shore or Tiki or Bamboo. Not a great place. Yeah. Yeah, gentlemen, you will get laid if you go there, probably. But I wouldn't care. I wouldn't count on the most quality girl. And you're probably not going to even get a real name when you get there. So the whole idea is to lie about my name. Right. Yeah. Why about your name? I used to give a phone. You know what I used to do? Girls, I would give a phone number of my ex-girlfriend. That's the way you do it. Ain't that great? That is awesome. So I would take, I would bring a girl home. I'd bring a girl out to the bar. We'd be like, yeah, woo! I scored a girl, right? In your face! So I get, we get to, you know, and then I would hang out with the girl. Whatever happens, I'm not saying I did anything inappropriate, okay? But I decided I don't want to talk to her anymore. And I'm a nice guy. I don't like to be a jerk. So, oh, can I have your number? I don't want to say no. You know, but I'm like, it didn't work out the evening the way I planned it to work out. We got along. But again, the alcohol wore off at the bar. The lights went on at the bar when we went outside. A lot of things changed. You know, the environment, the sound. When the lights go on, that's when you see them. When the light comes on, you see what they really look like. So I would give them a phone number of an ex-girlfriend. It was great stuff. Oh, wow. You know what I used to do? What? There used to be this hotline. Oh, yes. The call rejection hotline. The call rejection hotline. Yes. I used to give that. But see, I knew that one. I didn't want to be mean in front of them. I had business cards made up at one point. And I used to just give girls a business card with a phone number on it. Of course you did. Or text me. Bill, beep me, beep me. Oh my God, the beep noise. Oh my God. Wow. All right. So the advent of online dating, honestly, Miss Bianca, in the mid-90s witnessed the launch of the first dating websites like Match.com, which actually launched in 1995, believe it or not. There was other ones that launched with Match, but Match was like the big one. You had the free account, like you still can on all, but you had to pay. I paid because you couldn't really talk to anybody anymore. Oh, so that's how, like, that's how MySpace won because you don't have to pay for MySpace. And see, the thing with the dating sites, and you would tell you if somebody paid, you know, and you would know that you would get a response. Why would I email somebody? Or you had to pay to find out who emailed you. Well, why bother at all then? And you'd be like, oh, you can't even respond to them? Oh, that's so annoying. And then in 1998, Hollywood had a major influence with the movie, You Got Mail. You remember that movie? You Got Mail, yes. You remember that movie, You Got Mail? With Tom Hanks, right? Yes, it was Tom Hanks. And they were AOL. And it was You Got Mail, right? You Got Mail. That would be a good sound effect production. You Got Mail. But anyway, yeah, so that was that kind of like give a little normalcy to the public saying, okay, you know, this is acceptable. We can do this. Because you did seem like people did like, oh, you did online dating. Like, oh, you're weird, you know. But honestly, I mean. Well, it wasn't that popular that there was like a. oh okay yeah now it's normal that's like the new thing now right no and you know it works like why don't it works for a lot of back then is like why don't you just go out and see people and that way you can meet people right well you leave your house that's the problem and that's where we're getting into this generation here because now we're going to talk about um you know right now the role of dating apps now we're talking back you know at least when when I i I had a match.com account um I obviously I had a facebook and myspace and match.com um um and then you know whatever I paid for it but yeah I had to wait to get home and at this was before at work you could log into these things until they blocked then they started blocking it you know unless you knew how to proxy uh mess with the servers but I bet you the bosses used to like oh yeah we all used to sit in there and do dumb things so but now what but now with the the the advent of of the phone app You just grab your little device right here, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, and you're on it. Next thing you know, you're on apps like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, you know, and they dominate the system. Those are the ones that everybody's on, Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge. You know, I never got to be on those. The first time, it was just plenty of fish, but I only talked to three people. And nothing went anywhere. And then I met somebody right there in person, by the way. Yeah. Yeah. So I did the old, I met the person that, uh, the old fashioned. Oh, well, we'll get to that. We'll get to your personal story time. Cause it is time for that. But like anything else, like Facebook. Oh, actually, you know what? I just realized. And I was like, oh yeah. Coming into the dating world. Yeah. What is every girl? What's in their mind? What are they thinking? What are they, what, what, what are they, what are they, what, what are they going to do? They only hope to find the one. Yeah. So I think you have a song related to that for us right now, queued up. Let's take us to Bianca Cam, and she's going to show you Only Hope from Mandy Moore from one of my favorite movies, Walk to Remember, filmed in Wilmington, North Carolina. Take us to Bianca Cam. Let's hear her wonderful melody. it's the one that I've tried to ride over and over again I'm awake in the evening but you sing to me over and over and over again To be only yours I pray To be only yours I know You're my only hope Sing to me the song of the star Of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again When it feels like my dreams are so far Sing to me all the plans that you had for me over again I pray to be only yours. I know now you're my only hope. I give you my destiny. I'm giving you all of me. I want your symphony singing in all that I am. At the top of my lungs, I'm giving it back. So I lay my head back down, and I To be only yours I pray To be only yours I know Only yours I know You're my only hope Ooh. Wow, that was good. Always, always good. Always good. Thanks for the extra second there. Read the messages, production. Please read the messages. Pay attention, everybody. All right, so excellent job, Miss Bianca. Thank you. I thought that was a very appropriate song that you picked. Oh, I pulled something out. I yanked out my microphone. OMG. I moved and I ruined it there. Okay. We're going to have to edit that out too there. All right. All right. Anyway, who cares? I don't care. So yeah, it was a great movie though. It really was. I love that movie. And it was really good that you picked that song for this. I hope you're now your next song in a little bit. I hope is as good as that. That fits in with this show. I don't know. We'll see. We'll see. So. Well, you know, I think it must've been love. I don't know. Right. Oh, right. All these wires. My Lord here. What's going on? We need more tech people here. no I don't need more tech people I don't want I don't want any tech people to be on you're just kidding no I don't want anything so okay so the you know the other thing with the dating apps now yes um the uh the online you had to wait to get home right you wait you so you if you got lucky and you had a job where you could you could check you you can go on whatever you wait to get home so but now with the apps on the phone not only you can check 24 hours a day anywhere and it actually is it actually will give you the distance so it is geo it's geo based it's gps based so when you turn on these apps it tells you within a certain mile radius who's actively online and stuff which still happens sort of with with match.com but whatever you put in in it plenty of fish the other one you put in your you know your your information but this is your phone wherever you're going yeah yeah So it literally it changes everything. I mean, it's like it's like you're forcing somebody to talk to them because you're just like you're in their face. You're like right there. You are ready. in your face on their phone that's it you got you have to swipe swipe right swipe left something you got to do it I'm giving you know like with matching you got an email or it was in your in your thing you know but you know you open this app there's somebody somebody's ugly fudge is sitting right in front of you and you got to swipe them away go it's like this dude I saw I saw a video once where what the guy had that where the guy had the thing and it was just it was a little it was a mechanical thing and it was swiping right for every girl and it was a machine it was like an ai tool and it just was like swipe swipe swipe swipe swipe now what are we gonna say I i would see my friends like you you would see them like you can tell that they're on the app so they'll have their face expression they'll be like yeah right oh yeah right hey you know it's just so funny I'm like what are you doing it's like nothing right now the other thing with the date with this now it it's interfering with your individual life um because now you're focusing on your phone Oh, like really hard. Yeah, yeah. You're not involved in all that other stuff. So, you know, hold on. I'm just going to say, we need more camera going here, more camera use. Jeez, please. Jesus. Well, you know. We put in these extra ones and no one's even moving around. They add stuff to the set and production is sleeping on the other end and not moving the camera. But no, seriously though, in all seriousness, you know, it also added to mental health issues for people because they're locked into their phone. Really? And people feel that they're seriously in these, in like real relationships a lot of these times. Like that they, and they know that they haven't even met a person. At least when you met somebody in a bar or speed dating or whatever. And it, You know, I never, ever, ever used, and I didn't even know what this app was. Okay, folks? I didn't even know what this app was. I don't own this app. I don't purchase it, and I don't use it. Facetune. Ladies, we're on to you. We're on to you. Camera one. I'm looking at them. Give me camera one, folks. Give me camera one. Ladies, we're on to you with the Facetune, all right? When I had my picture up there, I literally gave you... Now, granted, we gave you the best picture we could. We always give you the best angle and everything, but truthfully... Facetune, that is like far from good, good from far, far from good, old saying. Like, why would you lie? That's like our immigration conversation, you know? Our immigration, like the first thing you do when you come to America crossing the border is break the law illegally. When you go on a dating app and you use Facetune, ladies, and men too, but when you use Facetune and you're changing it, i never ever did that I don't I never did I only heard of that being in this industry now I never saw such a thing before I wouldn't dare put makeup on folks but you know we have to for the show because you're we're recording and filming but um you know it's it's different it's just different so we know these okay so don't play games by the background actually and why do women always hold the camera on such an angle I know why that's that that's the I'm overweight picture oh really that's what all guys knew the guys knew that it was it was the all overweight picture you know like yeah mike it was just literally like you know like uh I don't know like it just that you just know you see it and you're like yeah that's that's not right that's that that that's not where it's supposed to be so anyway um moving forward with that know oh my goodness have you seen guys do that though I mean I mean I mean but you didn't have much experience with that no I really didn't but um I've seen other people uh do it actually because you can tell by the background well now I know people like cinching you could see some like a straight line like for an instance like a door for an example if they're like taking a picture right in front of a door and you can see that the door is kind of like slantly in that means that they were like scooching themselves yeah you know what I'm gonna add a little action to that I'm gonna add a little extra on that one you know Um, you just have to laugh at, at, at this. Like we know when you, when you're doing stuff, like when you post a picture, okay. And we're talking now we're going with the newer stuff or the older stuff. And you know, whether you're on you're, you're, you're antiquated and you're, you're, you know, other than if you're using like a, you know, the old school, put an ad in the newspaper thing. We're not talking about that. That's like predating everybody. Maybe somebody on my production staff knows about that, but I'm not familiar with any of that stuff. But with your pictures, there's nothing worse than a girl who has a picture on an app or online, and she didn't even, like, she put a piece of tape or scratched out the face of a guy or their friends, or they black out the face. Or they cut out the person. Cropped the picture. Print it and take a scissor. Don't run with scissors, but take a scissor and cut it. And there you go. And then put the picture. I mean, because what it says to me, at least as a guy, ladies, is that, A, you have way too many pictures with other people other than just yourself. And, you know, why are you saving me sending a picture on a dating app with your ex-boyfriend or even maybe your current boyfriend and you're cheating? And why do I need to see all your friends with black faces on them and exes on them and stuff? and it also tells me when you're telling me you're like 35 and I'm thinking you're probably not you're probably 65 because otherwise everybody's got facetune and they know how to crop a picture unless if you're antiquated in tech you should be able to solve that problem so I know you're lying with your age too and it may not even be a picture of you and we're going to get into that in a little bit too we're going to get into the catfish situation with the picture not even being them but you know what don't what about the I gotta say what about the guys and their heights They lie about that. They lie about that so much. And it's like... Well, I think it's the same thing with the angle. Like, I'm 6'2". So, like, when I stand, it doesn't matter. You're not usually going to see my feet and my head at the same time. Yeah. Unless if it's a good faraway angle. But, you know, you can tell when a guy, you know, when they make sure that they just get you up here. It's the same with the heavy girl and the angle picture she takes. What are the... I don't want to say that. I had a blind date that it was, like, a shirt guy. And I was like... What do the girls do when they're heavy? Which way do they go? They go this way down? Or what's the angle for the heavy girl in the picture? Down? They hold the camera up? They always go like on the side. On an angle, right? Their face is always on the side and the angle. And they always do like the duck face. The duck face. The duck face. Hey, duck face. Duck face. And you know what else? I don't need a picture while you're in the bathroom. All right? If you're going to take a picture in the mirror in the gym, make sure there's not a naked person behind you. Okay? And make sure that we don't see the purple so we all know you go to Planet Fitness. Because you probably don't even go anyway. You probably just went in to take the picture. All right. Anyway, I'm getting off on a tangent. You're so passionate about this. It's kind of fun. We're having fun. You know, guys do that too, you know? I know. I was going to the bathroom and they're like... You know, they flex up. It's like we do 20 push-ups. I would pick a girl up for a date, and I would park around the block and do like 20 push-ups and then pull up in front of the house. Oh, my goodness. Just so I'm sitting there, the arm is a little jacked. You got the little extra vein portion out, and I'm grabbing the handle on the car, and hopefully it's a stick shift, so I'm slamming that gear around, flexing that muscle. Speaking of the gym, you know, like I used to have a trainer, and the trainer would hit on me. Well, that's her job. It's like, it's so hard. As somebody who has done some exercise certifications. And it's funny because the guy looks like a Vin Diesel guy. And then you would never think that he had like a little freaking chihuahua. Oh, I thought you were going to say something else. No, no, no. Oh, I thought you were going to say he had a little... Yeah, because he was at the gym and working out so hard. He's working out. He's working out. I am here to bump you up. I don't know where that came from, but I love it. We used to be in the gym and say that to each other. I am here to bump you up. I don't know where that comes from. Remember that movie? Kevin James, great. Oh, love him. He was a good actor. Didn't he pass away? Yes, he did. Remember the Saskatchewan guy, right? The Saskatchewan. But getting back to the apps, what they're really trying to do is get a, oh, the Pump You Up production's telling me that's Arnold. Oh, yeah. So he said that in, so was that in a movie? What does he say that in? I am the pump, you are. Yeah. Yeah, it'll come up. Yeah. No, we never said Kevin James was not alive. The guy from Sketchatoon in the movie. What is the name of the movie? Grownups. Grownups. Grownups 2 or 1? 1. 1, where they went and they went away to the camp where the basketball coach passed away. They went to the water park. and they went to the water park and the muscle guy was there flexing the muscles and the women were there and the guys were looking at the girls come on you remember we're talking to production why am I talking to you I should be talking I should be talking to the camera that you're not even operating the right one talking I'm kidding the camera and and to the fm people out there anyway so the real purpose though honestly though these apps is um because it really does give you a better chance to have a conversation and feel somebody out just want to find love Really? Oh, God, that was so sappy. La, la, la, la. Unbelievable. Mr. Universe. I know he was in Mr. Universe. I love to have walks on the beach. I like to have walks on the beach as long as they lead to our clothes being removed on the beach. Otherwise, I have no use for the beach unless I have a cigar and a drink. oh boy all right so um yeah but really the apps though they allow you to be to geographic because we are a much more more mobile world yeah obviously you know you're you're here there in a moment's flash different places so it allows you to geographically make friends quickly you know meet people quickly in a new location and it allows you to quickly thumb through on a looks basic looks even if they facetune you got an idea that you want a redhead or whatever it's easier slash do and then it also allows you to get into some conversation and you don't have to give out your phone number because they let you converse on there right so you can converse on there you can do your thing and you know it leads for I guess an opportunity for more healthy uh dialogue if you don't allow it to go too deep you know and allow it to consume you on your mental health you know it is a big part though some people like if you can't take rejection that well it's not that's why a good swipe is good because you know what you swipe on there and and you and you swipe all the girls and that's what we everyone my friends we always did we just went it was like it was like money make it rain slap on my hands if you're watching the show it's like throwing money I just I turned on tinder and I just spent five minutes just I just swiped right on everybody If you are on Tinder and I turned it on and you were in my location, I don't care who you were. was going right and then I decided because no no no no no because miss Bianca this is like being in Vegas or we're from Jersey it's like being in Atlantic City the odds are not with you you the house always wins the house wins the house always wins does the house not always win the house wins so if I have more swipes and I'm swiping away Then the probability, if I went through and I said maybe on one, you can't, there is no maybe. So you're not picky at all. No, but no, I didn't say that. I get picky then when they respond. I swipe everybody and then some, I mean, some butt ugly people respond. And then you're like, bye, bye. What about the copy and paste paragraph that you would send to everybody that, I've seen those oh yeah right like like he was the one that that sent that especially I used to actually no no no no no I got I got one better I got the copy and paste paragraph you want to copy My copy and paste paragraph experience was, I did that because I would do this, especially with Match.com and Tinder and Bumble because I've been on them all. The first sentence you changed the, I like your eyes. I wrote a beautiful, and it was never a paragraph because I know that you know that we didn't write that. We didn't take a paragraph to write it. so we're gonna keep so already I know the second I do this that um you're not gonna believe me if I give you a three paragraph thing it's kind of like the guy from nigeria who's got a million dollars for you if you write if you sign over your bank account information like you're gonna believe that right yeah honestly if I saw a big paragraph I wouldn't even bother but I would give you one to two sentences And it was a copy and paste, but it was geared towards the individuals that I was hitting. I was targeting. Okay. And the key was I would always open up with something smart, like Ciao Bella. Ah, Italiano. Ciao Bella. Right? They see the Ciao Bella and they look and then they have to look because they're like, okay. What about your Spanish one? You're throwing me under the bus here. all right I'll throw it out there it's a good day for this so I went to cancun one time no more than one time but I went to cancun on vacation I'm gonna do it just like I was taught to do it so um I had a I had a a woman that I that worked with me in in one of my positions I'm not going to say what agency I was with the agency Short story, short story. What happened? So she was Peruvian. Oh. And she was like, you're going to Cancun? And I'm like, yeah. She's like, oh, you got to get yourself a Spanish girl, you know, blah, blah. I'm like, yeah, I think I may have to. Yeah, I may have to do that, right? I have to do a little mi gente. so she's like oh you didn't know I knew that did you I did I tricked you don't see when when people speak they don't know what I know I listen and I listen so anyway so she said to me I didn't I didn't know any spanish at that point at all so she told me what to say and it freaking worked really it did I'm gonna do it if you're watching folks if you're watching give it on the good cam camera uh camera one camera one production bring me the camera one okay so she looks me in the office and she says Walk in and you say, and you got to do, she said, the whole head thing, everything I'm going to do. Me das im Beso? Me das im Beso? That worked. I didn't know what it meant. I found out the first time I said, may Dustin best up with the head to the side. Girl pulls me and gives me a kiss. It means may I have a kiss, right? May I please have a kiss? It was great. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. It worked every single, if you, and you know, the sad part is, and you know, I'm going to get trolled because I'm, you know, we're, we're like Gen Z or Xennials. We're like the in-between. So we can't talk like this. But every girl that's sort of look brownish, I said it to her. if you had any kind of if you were not if you had a nice tan there you go whatever it is what was it being racist folks it is what it is I would I wasn't going to walk up to a girl with red hair and say that I mean obviously she was from she's english or american I wanted I wanted girls come in all colors but I i was going with it was again I was going I was going what I figured would be what what would work you know type that you like basically No, I was just, I was sampling. It was like a smorgasbord. A smorgasbord. Women everywhere. And just, you know, like, what was that movie? Will Ferrell, he does that, right? Or whatever that movie is. All right, anyway. So, Miss Bianca, before we're going to get into some funny story on you. But we have time for that. We're going to go to Bianca. Do you have a song queued up? Sure. All right. Let's take it to Bianca cam and let's cue it up. Okay, we'll go. We can roll over a few on that. All right. On my pillow Leave the winter On the ground Awake and lonely Dead of silence In the bedroom All around Touch me now I close my eyes It must have been love, but it's over now. It must have been good, but I lost it somehow. It must have been love, but it's over now. From the moment we touched, till the time has run out. that's the shelter by your heart but in the end it's I I turn to water like a teardrop in your palm and it's so hard winter's day I dream of It must have been love, but it's over now. It was all I wanted, now I'm living without. It must have been love, but it's over now. It's where the water flows. It's where the wind blows. It must have been love, but it's over now It must have been good, but I lost it somehow It must have been love, but it's over now And the moment we touch So the time has run out. It must have been love. But it's over now. It was all that I wanted. Now I'm living without. It must have been love. But it's over now. It's with the waterfall. It's where the wind blows It must have been love But it's over now It must have been love But it's over now That was wonderful, Miss Bianca. That was great. That was great. Thank you. You did wonderful. Thank you very much. So why did you choose that one? Must have been love. Because. Nobody really cares. I just asked. But we are at the great segment of this wonderful show that I've been waiting for. Oh, really? So, Miss Bianca, share one of your wonderful experiences and observations that you are noticing in the current dating world and our wonderful digital age. Well, I've been observing that, you know, it's much quicker now. yeah and um a lot of people aren't living leaving their houses you know right so like I feel like the guys are really saving money on dates yeah right everything's a coffee date right everything yeah a coffee date I'm like you know but I learned that too though honestly when I first did the match.com Um, you know, I, I took, I was taking people out to dinner, you know, cause I'm a gentleman and I was, my mom raised me like that. I went to Catholic school again. I was taught a lot of values. You know, I do done, I've done dumb things, but I, I, and it was expensive. And my friends are like, what are you stupid? Cause you're doing, I was doing like three or four dates a week. Depends on the quality of a girl. Yeah, but three or four dates a week. I was taking, but I was taking a girl out on a date every three times a week. Wow. to meet and it was and it was it was and I would hate the girl in the first 15 minutes but I was stuck sitting through dinner and paying for it so then I had to switch it to the coffee days the coffee dates wow yeah yeah I had no choice what was I gonna do um but you know but you know you have to worry about people maintaining their online authenticity and you know like authenticity who are they are they are they really real like you know this whole catfishing thing you know yeah it's so it's it's I get scared actually like yeah to meet like a blind it's really like a blind date if you think about it yeah but see like the old school blind date though the old school blind date where you were you actually um had somebody that knew somebody and said hey he she now they said they have a great personality then I'd be like oh no I'm running. If you're going to introduce me to go out with your daughter, it seems to be in politics. Everybody wanted to introduce me to their daughter. Don't tell us right off the bat if you're going to try to set somebody up. Don't tell us she's a great person with a great personality because right there I'm not interested. She's a really nice girl with a great personality. She's sweet. She works so hard. She's so smart, and she works hard. She's got a great job and a degree. She knows how to cook. She's bubbly, and she knows how to maintain a home. Okay, so what do you say? I can't say the things on air. They're trying to get rid of her. Yeah, so I was trying to get rid of her and there are probably some very unbecoming things going on with her that maybe this guy here, not interested. um oh my god but this but there's a big trend on this though I mean this is this is this is going on and this is this is something that you know people like besides I'm not talking about the being set up in blind date I'm just saying like that people are literally face tuning themselves and or or putting fake pictures of this cat like this tv show you ever watch catfish I watch it once I find it to be stupid yeah I mean I mean I feel bad for the people that believe it for so long feel I really do because like you know it's so sad that they put their all their hopes and and time and like fantasy of of what this person really portrays and they think that they're really dating that person when it's a fake person right and then you got this do that though like you got this whole right and you guys you're gonna get caught if you're not gonna get videos or whatever I'll be like you know if you're real then you know but even a video you don't know because I've saw I i know I i was watching a a documentary where they were paying pretty girls to do the videos on the dating sites to lure people in to send money or to get help them get visas and to come into the country I saw a documentary oh wow really yeah oh that's so sad So, I mean, we can sit back and we can compare and contrast what was normal and what was not. I mean, if a person asked for money right off the bat and you didn't even meet that person, delete that person. Well, you know what I love, too? I love when you meet somebody on one of the apps and they want you to send money for Uber for them. No, not happening. I've never met you. I only met you about five seconds ago because I swiped. And you popped up as a match. And then you messaged me five seconds later. Yeah. I'll come over right now. Give me your address and send me Uber money. What are you, out of your mind? Or they mask it and a girl says, yeah, I'll hang out, but I like two dozen roses. That's a term to ask for money. Hmm. or people you know people use roses they use terms for selling sex and selling services it's really disgraceful you have to watch out for that but I feel bad because people do get catfished and you know and they said I knew this to happen to people they would actually believe it how long do you have an online relationship with somebody now see like we went back in the beginning you got mail they talked for a long time But this was a different era, early 90s. But in that You Got Mail movie, they went back and forth. And they had like a pen pal kind of relationship, right? And it turned out that he wasn't catfished or she wasn't catfished. But that's what's happening now. Oh, yeah. How long do you... So it's kind of put you in a bad spot as a person in a dating scene now. You can't rush into meeting somebody because you haven't had a chance. You know, you're not... You need to have that face-to-face date. You need that face-to-face... But the thing is, is that... when when when you have the app you either got to be quick to meet the person and then you really don't know what you're getting into because at least at the bar you met them in that second and at least you saw them you know they're actually a guy or a girl you hope nowadays maybe not but at least you know sort of what you got and you tied a little bit of conversation then you get a phone number and you continue it on and you continue it on so what these apps are actually creating danger in a way because they're either doing one of two things they're forcing you into a catfish Because you're you're being conservative and you're conversing with somebody back and forth and messages on Tinder. Plenty of fish, Bumble, whatever you're using, right? Right. Match whatever they're using. So you're going back and forth in a conversation and you're building some feelings, maybe in a conversation. You're sending some pictures, some stupid videos. They could send little voice notes to each other. Right. So now you're you're dragging into it. You're opening yourself to a catfish. because you're dragging it out and you're building a sense of trust with this person. That's really not trust because you've never looked them in the eye. You've never touched their skin. You never said hi. You know, you maybe talked on the phone. You don't know. People, AI, they can do change voicing now. So you just don't know what you're getting. so when so you're either rushing to meet somebody putting yourself in danger because you don't know who you're meeting or you're putting yourself into a catfish situation where you know now you're in a long conversation with somebody and either you get catfished or you get suckered into sending money or you waste your time talking to somebody for a long period of time. And it's endless messages because they had no intention because that happens. The endless message thing happens where they go on and on and they talk and they never, ever intended on meeting anybody. They're the lonely person who is alone and afraid to be alone. and what do they do they just they use this as a form of communication and every time you want to hang out you try to make plans they have something else going on they can't be there they cancel somebody died you know it's like when you're trying they're in the hospital yeah yeah or they went traveling and they can't come back yeah they worked overtime their aunt your aunt had a baby you know it could be anything right so um you know so you're kind of like stuck you know do you rush in do you not where do you go you know so the you know and the societal changes with ai we can do a whole ai thing because people are making complete fake people um with videos I mean we can get into there was another episode we had once previously we talked about the dolls now they have the the they had the silicon dolls that looked like real women and had all the uh the anatomical parts actually have a movie on it yeah and they had parts but now they talk and they have personality so like they're one and people men are not even dating or you know that they were looking at the number of men that had sex in the last year and women that had sex and I think it was recently I don't know the poll folks so don't quote me but it was recently that the numbers of men and women who actually have had sex with an individual same sex different sex whatever it was not masturbatory sex not self-pleasure less than years prior because so many people are locked into these apps and you're video gaming or they're streaming they're streaming they're watching online porn or they're on only fans talking to some somebody girl or guy or a couple and paying a monthly subscription and you're talking with them so they're having the same conversation as if they're out and it's not real but it's not real it's kind of like in that sand with that movie with sandra bullock and it was uh was it um It was, it was, and it was a Sylvester Stallone and he's the cop that gets brought back and they go to have the sex scene and she says, then you want to have sex and they wear virtual reality masks, right? Yeah. Shout out the slide. Demolition man. Yeah. So in summary and conclusion, because Miss Bianca didn't give us any good stories, but we'll get some out of her coming forward. We'll get some. I already said it. I had a blind date, and the guy was short. So you like tall guys. I do like tall guys. Oh, I have another one. Another blind date. One of my friends wanted me to meet her cousin. Oh, and it's always the cousin. Oh, God. She showed me a picture of him, right? And he was like really cute. But then when I met him in person, there was something sticking out of his ear. What was sticking out of his ear? that's all you can see that's all I can see I dated a girl like that she had one of those on her eyebrow and I'm wondering girls don't get their eyebrows trimmed and this and that you know and like I don't understand why if you got it you know if you got a a a mcdonald's hamburger bun Get that removed. Get that thing cut off. I mean. That's it. Or you are the people that created. I'm sorry, but like. They created FaceTime for you. FaceTime. FaceTime. This was way before, like, this was MySpace days when I met this guy. Right. But it was like, my. wow and I got so mad at her saying why didn't you tell me in the this in the first place she started laughing I was like that's so right and he saw you staring at it the whole time too he was like I was trying to be nice but he has to be so you I mean I don't understand how you don't remove it you know I don't understand how you you you it I don't I don't understand because what I see is like you know that they're going to see this and you know that you see it every day when you wake up because we all look at ourselves and we all when we look at ourselves no matter who we are we all look and and we want and we we we see all the faults that we have let's be real I mean we all look at ourselves say oh I look great but let's be real when you come out of the shower and you're naked everybody looks themselves and they find everything wrong with themselves That's what we do. That's why the first thing, you got to love yourself first. And when you're looking for somebody, it can't be like you're all. It has to be an extension of your happiness. Right. That's it. And you know that they're going to see this. And if you don't have a problem with it, then that's fine. I'm not saying, listen, if you're happy with yourself, who am I to judge what is? I'm saying if you're going out into the dating market, if you're selling your car, you're putting it up on a picture to sell your car you may want to wash it and throw a little wax on it you know I mean that's all I don't think you know you know 90 of success in life is how you present yourself and that is in the dating world and in sales when you have a good opening line in politics a good opening line in sales good opening line whatever you look sharp you look the part you speak the part you probably get the party So there you go with that. So as we conclude tonight's exploration of dating trends, it's evident that the landscape of relationships has evolved significantly over decades because we're looking at the divorce rate is way up. We're looking at now casual sex is way up. However, the numbers are down because people are more in their home doing, you know, virtual crap. But, I mean, we are a much more sexualized culture with porn very easily accessible. These dating apps accessible. The dating apps, some of them are specifically for sex. Hookup, Hinge. Ashley Madison. Ashley Madison is so you can cheat on your spouse. Wow. I mean, that is a and they actually got hacked and they and they and they got then they were hacked and they were put up a bribe, a ransom to Ashley Madison that they didn't pay the ransom. Then whoever had hacked their data was going to release the names of all their customers. that is crazy wow so technological advances and societal changes have dramatically transformed how we meet and connect with others in in society no matter how we do it despite these changes the fundamental quest is for meaningful connections folks That's what it is. That is the driving force behind all this, no matter if it's the 70s, 80s, or 1800s. Everybody has an inner driving force to have somebody care for them, to love them, to have a meaningful experience. So regardless, you're looking through the lens of the camera, like I'm looking at you, you're looking at me. You want to have a meaningful. Everybody wants to have a friend. Everybody wants to have a relationship. That's the driving force. So we must continue to adapt as individuals. We have to adapt as humans. That is our job, to be resilient and adaptable. We have to adapt and understand that the social norms have changed. Society changes every day. What was good yesterday may not be good tomorrow. And what's good the next day may not have been good the day before. You cannot be stuck in antiquated technology and you can't be stuck in antiquated societal norms. The societal norms, cultures, and values change. Now, it doesn't mean you have to strip away your principal core values, whether that be Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, whatever it might be, spiritual, whatever you might be. And everybody has their inner things that are very important to them. So we're not saying take that away, but you have to understand society as a whole has changed. And you have to keep up with society if you want to be part of society. So with that, Sonati's call to action, as always, stay engaged, pay attention. But for this episode, stay open-minded. Stay open-minded. When you're on that dating app and you're looking at it, Wonder you're on there for the same reason as somebody else. If you're there with a good heart and you're there because you really have that driving force to meet the right person, then have that same respect that you want to be treated. Do that to somebody else. Go in there with an open mind. You know, don't always look at everybody and look for something wrong, like that movie, Shallow Howe. Right. And like your guy with the Burger King bone, you know, and I had he had it on the ear and I had the one with the girl on the on the on the eyebrow, you know, reflect on your own past dating experiences. Reflect back, look back, depending on if you're in your 30s and 40s and you're in this and you're this this group. look back at your dating experiences look at how you did things then how things you would be done now and look and see how society might view what you did previously to what you do now because you know what that is a big influence and that influences how people see you you don't want to show up and be you know antiquated you know the person that doesn't have a clue you know you want to know what's going on so embrace technology, embrace the tools, embrace the platforms that today are available to you, but prioritize that you are authentic. that you are authentic look in the mirror and then look at yourself see who you really are when you write your profile and take your pictures be legit in that be authentic and then re-look at it and have somebody else look at it too somebody that you trust nobody wants a yes man at least I don't want a yes man I want to be told to my face what they don't like because maybe I don't see it or if I do I saw it and they can help me fix it So, you know, you need to be authentic and recognize that you want the other person to be authentic. And you know what? If you want that to happen, it starts with you. It starts with me, you, and everybody else. You can't count on somebody else to do it if you're not going to do it. Now, I have to put out there the warnings and some dating advice because we discussed some of these, you know, Tinder, Hinge, and these other ones. So because we did, we have to put disclaimer out. Beware of catfishing. People lie. People take advantage. It's a sad world we live in, and I feel sorry for somebody who truly is looking for that meaningful relationship, who's looking to love somebody, looking to have somebody love them, looking to start a family, looking to have some feelings with somebody, and then there's some jerk out there or some idiot girl, guy, whatever, taking advantage. Pay attention, because it happens, right? Catfishing is a significant issue with 15% of people who currently are involved in the online dating world have reported that they have been catfished or scammed. Either catfished or scammed for money or given, you know, scammed with clicking. Here's another one. When someone sends you an image that's not an image directly from the website, like if they copy and paste it in there and some of them allow you, people can embed worms and moles and trojans and stuff inside the metadata of an image and you look at an image of a cool kitten kitty cat that's like a little video of the cat wagging a tail and you click it to look at it and now they just installed something on your phone to turn your webcam on to turn your speaker on and to track your location be careful this stuff happens look up the craigslist killer I did some consulting on a case in Long Island and it was a serial killer who, we're not going to talk detail today, but he was picking up women using Craigslist and bodies were being found on the water mine in Long Island. to when you're on a dating app always avoid over sharing early on okay really when you're in in in there yeah you want to get to know each other but really be careful you don't need to say the specific town you're from or the specific you could say the job you do but not exactly what company or or wherever oh yeah and not what's happening the next town right yeah pay attention be careful for premature intimacy meaning uh ladies uh giving it up very fast right because guys take advantage and maybe not even taking advantage ladies for sexual purpose but just for an opportunity to get into your house so they can case out your house to see what kind of belongings you have men this happens to you too you think you get the really hot girl all of a sudden you never got a hot girl before and now all of a sudden one day you meet her and she wants to come home with you yeah great you might have some some great sex experience with some beautiful woman but she's also maybe recording everything in your house So then when you come home tomorrow and you're at work, she knows your schedule now because she's been went through your stuff while you're in the bathroom. She cased your house. You come home from work tomorrow. You got no furniture. Pay attention. This happens to men and women. You don't want to share too much information. And don't treat yourself with respect. Don't give yourself to everybody in the world. Have some trust, but you do have to have trust, but you can give it gradually. Another point I want to put out there, prioritize mental health. Do not let this consume your life. You will meet somebody. Yes, it is a tool, but it's just a tool. It doesn't think. Even though AI, they say, thinks, it doesn't. You think. That's what makes us different than machines and from animals. We have free will, folks. We have free will. We have a conscious and we have a free will to decide what we want to do and what we don't want to do. We decide who we want to trust and who we don't want to trust. So yes, you have to trust some people, but you have to give it when it's earned. And you have to be willing to strip it when they when they violate it be aware of modern trends pay attention to modern trends and see what's going on in the news things change all the time a lot of people probably don't even know about this craigslist killer right I didn't know right so you know as always keep your head on a swivel 360 360, 180 forward, 180 backwards. 365 days a year, your head is on a swivel. Because you know what? Danger never sleeps. So that means we never sleep. Stay vigilant. I thank you every day for coming to the show. Because without you, myself, Eric Casonati, and Miss Bianca C-S-E-A... That was lovely. Thank you. You know, without you guys, we would be nothing. Special thanks really to you, Miss Bianca. It's a lovely show. It's always great to have you here with your lovely singing voice. And hopefully we can get some more information out of you on some dating experiences. Or we can find some information on your hubby. I don't know. Well, you know, I was a good girl. And when I had a boyfriend, it lasted. Yep, that's good. So, we're going to end it in our quote of the day. Love is comprised of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. Did I not say that? Yes. I did it twice. Why? Because I felt it was so important. It's so nice. Aristotle said that. Aristotle. I remember. So important. But I got our joke, the closing out joke. Okay. I'm ready. It's a relationship joke. You ready? A relationship joke? And Miss Bianca doesn't know the jokes in advance, so this way she can tell me how corny they are. Okay. Why don't relationships in the digital age work? I don't know. Why? Because there's too much buffering. Too much buffering. Too much buffering. All right. Anyway, folks, thank you for coming to the Hostile Zone. We thank you very much. Check us out. If you're watching on your screen right here on the ticker below, which is going to go away in a second, on the ticker below, it tells you where you can find us, iHeartRadio, iTunes, Apple, Spotify. Spotify. You can find us on your local cable network. Just look us up and see where we are in your location. We're in every time zone. We are in 54 countries. We're on more than 2,200 TV and radio stations. And we are on 2,200. And we are on every single podcast platform. And if you don't find us, demand it. And you reach out to the show. Eric at ericandrewsonati.com. The Hostile Zone at BBS Talk Radio. Let's go to Bianca Cam to close us out this wonderful episode with honor, love for our country, and love for all those out there looking for love. Absolutely. Oh, say. Can you see by the dawn's early light What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight All our efforts we've won Were so gallantly streaming And the rocket's red glare The bombs bursting in air Gave proof through the night That our flag was still there And it's not going anywhere and don't even try. Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave O'er the land of the free And the home of the brave