Penn and Teller. Excellent. Add-on: The Seven Notahide Laws! *PIC*

Penn and Teller. Excellent. Add-on: The Seven Notahide Laws! *PIC*
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Sunday, June 07, 2009 05:05 am


In case you need advice to reduce human body emission of


and related bad body gases.

These are the
The Seven Notahide Laws
for potential eco-terrorists like you and me.

Stop all waste of physical energy!

1. No more sex-for-fun
, restrict your exercises to intentional reproduction I mean it!
Spare the money for your private How-To-Do Westheimer Workout Library and
give the savings to one of our Global Warming Prevention LLC.

2. No more sports and showers
, hear me, think of all the unneccessary consumption of high energy stuff, the idiotic, automated body movements, the competitions without end for medals and honor.

3. Don\'t change clothes and underwear every day
, once a week should be okay, your natural body fragrances will improve and confine your social relations to those you can really \'smell\', usually people in your next neighbourhood, so no more need to drive to far away \'places of illusions\' where you\'re entrapped with artificial pheromonic chemicals into dear part-time affairs that cost you only more energy for fuel and enforced refill of wasted body fluids. Stupid, stop it, better think twice!

4. Learn from the Arabs
. Eat while lying on the floor on one side, use only your right hand for putting food to mouth. Thus the nutrition moves slowly into your stomach, the feeling of satisfaction comes far sooner, you eat less.

5. No use of toilet paper
. Instead, take the other non-food hand, usually the left one, to be used for rear excremental cleansing only. This way no more paper required.
(thou some eco-priests recommend to apply toilet paper on both sides, hereby we distance ourselves from this short-sighted practice, they don\'t tell you that you\'ve to dry the used paper before-hand, literally, for proper usage, with more need for precious energy.

6. Don\'t beat your husband, wife or children
Your wife won\'t change a bit and start drinking high-percentage of alcohol or buy more and more fancy shoes, your husband will try to restitute his manliness in the whore-house and waste time, energy and your household money. Your beaten children would habitually beat their own children also, a degrading cycle of waste without end.

7. Again: Feel permantly guilty for any unnecessary sexual activity!
Obey to the decent reverends! God\'s and nature\'s holy intention was and still is reproduction.
Respect the wisdom of the biblical scribes and God\'s will for your own benefit!
To balance your born-in guilt donate generously to Sinner\'s Churches, private care-for-climate companies, give no more cookies to pets, stop cooking at all, prefer raw food, buy only products with the new CNN label:

CNN Climate Neutral Nutrients

to be continued
The Six-Hundred-And-Thirteen Notahide Laws

only to be followed by the
JIGGS Josen Innocent GORE-Geous Supremes

that allow themselves to do it with big rolls as in Taipei, Island of Formosa.
So all gore-geous!

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