“The Rising Popularity of Alternative News Websites” by Jane Skoopworthy, Fox News Service

Subject: 
“The Rising Popularity of Alternative News Websites” by Jane Skoopworthy, Fox News Service
Posted By: 
Marcus
Date: 
Sunday, March 18, 2007 10:42 pm

Fox News Service
Mr. 18, 2007

\"The burgeoning popularity of alternative news sites on the Internet is a growing phenomena whose impact, at first glance, may seem relatively benign. However, it is, in fact, contributing to the gradual erosion and demise of our sacred democratic regime and sound-minded leadership. Many of these divisive websites actually allow the average, ignorant citizen to post whatever articles or news items they want, not to mention their own, oftentimes treasonous opinions - frequently without admissible thinking, legitimate confirmation of sources, or official censure.

What pestilential perfidy is it that ferments such blatantly open, ersatz journalism? Crawling and creeping like ravenous termites throughout the very foundations of our God-fearing, opulent nation? Gnawing away at the superior fiber or our proactive, superpower society?

Desperately seeking answers, I interviewed the moderator of one of these alternative news sites named “Trusted News Trader” - a gentleman who goes by the pseudonym of “Mr. Mad Dog.” The following conditions by Mr. Dog were placed on my interview: 1 - that his real name remain anonymous; 2 - that the interview take place in the sixth and lowermost level of a seedy underground parking garage in downtown Copperopolis, CA; and 3 - that the interview take place at midnight. In a heroic quest for the damning truth regarding this un-American online behavior, I valiantly agreed to the above stipulations.

“Thank you for agreeing to an interview, Mr. Mad Dog. You moderate a news site called Trusted News Trader. Why do you think “TNT,” as it’s commonly known, has become the preeminent alternative news site on the worldwide web?”

“Rrrrrrrrr . . . “

“I’m sorry, I didn’t quite get that.”

“Woof! Woof!”

“Oh, that’s very funny, Mr. Dog. Now, let’s get serious for a moment. Can you explain the unprecedented popularity of your “so-called” news site?”

“Grrrrrrrrrrrr . . . ”

“Ahhh, is anything the matter, sir? Are you feeling okay?”

“Pant, pant . . . ”

“Okay - let me be direct. Exactly what kind of demonic anthropological aberration can it possibly be that explains the ghastly upsurge of interest in your trashy liberal, metaphysical mishmash, commie pinko website?”

“Grrrrrrrr! Ruff! Ruff! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!” CHOMP!!

“Aarrrgghhhhh! You bit my leg, you INSANE BEAST!”

“RrrOOF! RrrOOF! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr . . . ”

“Eeeeeeeee! Grab the stuff, guys! Let’s get the hell out’a here!”

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is as far as this reporter’s interview got. And I must say, it’s a sad day in America when a respectable reporter, representing a major news service, gets bit in the leg for attempting to interview some kind of demented, canine wannabe - all for trying to uphold life, liberty and justice for all. What the hey? That was my sexiest thigh! The one with my “yield to oncoming traffic” sign tattoo.

- - - - - - -

Yo, MadDog! Just to put it in writing, and taking the liberty of speaking for everyone else too, we really appreciate TNT! It’s a gem hidden in the rocks. Many thanks for the opportunity to post and read others’ great postings, and keep up the good work!