A warning has just been released from the Pentagon concerning the awesome powers which goats have achieved in obtaining almost total control over the Muslim male populace in Afghanistan. According to insiders this control has created what can only be described as a "super soldier" with incredible rock climbing capabilities, the ability to go weeks on end with only eating grass and twigs, and by satisfiying sexual needs by having sex with goats, to name just a few. General Betrayus is said to be outraged. Unamed sources have quoted him as saying, "WTF? Are these men becoming Greek? Why can't they be like us Americans? Just a little bit of tit on the back and you'll have us drive you hogs on our hogs to KFC, frickin Mickey D's, Burgler King - wherever the frick you want! But nooooooo.... you Moooslums need to have frickin goats to man up your men. We got blubbler women back home to wuss up our men. There's no hope for our soldiers. There goes our super soldier program. Down the frickin big ole mutha frickin drain."