In a world full of noise, deep listening is more than hearing; it is the practice of being fully present so that another person feels valued, understood, and safe to express their truth. In a world filled with noise and distraction, deep listening is a radical act of care.
When we listen with our whole selves (eyes, ears, body, intuition) we receive more than words. Research shows that only about 7–10% of communication comes through language; the rest is carried by tone, pace, body movement, facial expression, and subtle shifts in energy. Our nervous systems detect emotional messages long before our minds interpret them. Deep listening means tuning into those signals.
For children and teens, deep listening is foundational to wellbeing and learning. When a learner feels heard:
- stress hormones drop
- problem-solving areas of the brain become more active
- connection sparks motivation
Listening shapes behaviour more effectively than lectures ever could.
Silence is a powerful part of this process. Many Indigenous cultures recognise silence not as emptiness but as active receiving. Listening is relational between people, between people and land, and between people and their own inner knowing. Through deep listening, knowledge is honoured and shared with humility. Many Indigenous cultures understand listening as a relational responsibility. Listening is not just to gather information; it is to honour the story, the speaker, and the land itself. Silence is welcomed as part of communication - a space where truth can breathe. Elders teach that wisdom grows in the pause.
Deep listening also requires listening inward. Children learn to trust their intuition, understand their emotions, and notice how thoughts feel in the body. This embodied awareness strengthens self-regulation and empathy - essential skills for peaceful community.
We can teach deep listening through simple, everyday practices:
- Look with soft eyes
- Allow silence
- Reflect back what you heard
- Listen for feelings beneath words
- Stay curious rather than correct
When we reflect back what we’ve heard such as “Am I understanding you correctly?”, we grow understanding rather than assumption. We validate feelings before behaviour. Listening becomes a gift we offer without expectation. As educators and adults, our listening becomes a mirror. When we model presence, children learn presence. When we protect space for their voices, they learn to value their own expression.
At its essence, deep listening says:
You matter. Your story matters. This moment matters.
In every learning space (classroom, home, community) deep listening creates culture. A culture where young people feel seen, where differences are respected, and where relationships do not break under pressure. This is the foundation of restorative practice, self-governance, and accountability.
In a fast-paced world, deep listening is a slow, human path back to what matters: empathy, presence, community, and belonging. The greatest teachers are those who listen not just to the words…but to the person speaking them.
Deep listening is not a technique. It is a posture of the heart. And every child is waiting for someone willing to listen this way.
If this topic resonates, then I encourage you to listen to the 1st November podcast on All Learning Reimagined. See below for resources and ideas to enhance listening skills.
Enjoy!
Teresa
Deep Listening Resource Pack
Helping young people feel seen, heard & valued
✅ Activities for Children & Teens
Sound Hunt (ages 6–12)
Goal: Build sensory awareness + patience
• Sit outside quietly for 1 minute
• Eyes closed — listen for close sounds, then far sounds
• Share: Which sound surprised you? Which felt calming?
⭐ Kids learn: “Quiet helps me notice more.”
Mirror Me (ages 6–14)
Goal: Practice empathy + attunement
• In pairs, one moves slowly while the other mirrors
• Swap: Notice how it feels to be the leader vs. follower
⭐ Great before group work or after conflict
Walk & Listen (ages 12–18)
Goal: Practice listening to understand
• Partner walk for 5 minutes
• One talks about something they love
• Listener only says: “Tell me more…”
Then summarises: This is what I heard…
⭐ Builds validation, confidence, and trust
Feelings Beneath the Words (all ages)
Goal: Decode emotional cues
Take a simple sentence, say it in different tones
Example: “I’m fine.”
Ask: What emotion do you hear?
⭐ Helps teens read the room + their own reactions
Listening Circle / Yarning Circle (all ages)
Goal: Promote fairness + connection
• Object passed around (only holder speaks)
• Everyone reflects back one thing the speaker shared
⭐ Everyone gets a voice — no one gets talked over
✅ Deep Listening in Restorative Practice
(Conflict resolution that builds relationships)
When there’s conflict:
1️ Everyone gets a turn to speak without interruption
2️ Feelings first — solutions later
3️ We repeat back what we heard:
“So you felt ___ when ___ happened.”
4️ We ask:
“What do you need going forward?”
5️ We agree on one change each person can make
Sentence starters kids and teens can use:
- “I felt… when…”
- “What I need is…”
- “Next time, I can…”
Accountability without shame.
Courage without blame.
✅ Indigenous Ways of Knowing — Respectfully Shared
(High-level principles that honor many cultures)
- Listening is relational — we listen to care for each other
- Silence is sacred — wisdom grows in the pause
- Stories are gifts — we hold them with respect
- The land speaks — wind, water, birds, ancestors are teachers
- Community wisdom matters — many perspectives make truth clearer
- Listening takes time — rushing is a form of disrespect
This reminds us:
Listening isn’t just a skill — it’s a way of being together.
✅ Printable Listening Checklist
(Stick on walls, fridges, school journals)
When I Listen…
☐ I face the person
☐ I put away distractions
☐ I breathe slowly
☐ I use soft eyes
☐ I listen to the feelings
☐ I don’t interrupt (even if I want to!)
☐ I allow silence
☐ I check if I understood right
☐ I thank them for sharing
Simple. Powerful. Life-changing when practiced.
✅ Reflection Questions
For Adults, Parents & Educators
- Do I listen to fix or listen to understand?
- When a child pauses… do I rush?
- How do I show I care with my eyes, my body, my silence?
- Who do I listen to most easily? Who do I ignore without meaning to?
- What would my child say it feels like when they talk to me?
For Teens
- Do people feel safe telling me the truth?
- When someone says they’re “fine”… do I notice more?
- What’s one habit I want to grow as a listener this week?
✅ Teen Self-Assessment
(Private — no one grades this)
How often do I…
| Habit | Always | Sometimes | Rarely |
|---|---|---|---|
| Let others finish speaking | ☐ | ☐ | ☐ |
| Notice tone & expression | ☐ | ☐ | ☐ |
| Make people feel safe to share | ☐ | ☐ | ☐ |
| Stay present without judging | ☐ | ☐ | ☐ |
| Listen to understand, not win | ☐ | ☐ | ☐ |
| Ask curious questions | ☐ | ☐ | ☐ |
| Reflect back what I heard | ☐ | ☐ | ☐ |
| Listen to myself kindly | ☐ | ☐ | ☐ |
One thing I’m proud of:
___________________________________________________________________________________
One thing I’ll practice this week:
___________________________________________________________________________________
🎴 Deep Listening Discussion Cards
Use Ideas
- Circle Starter: Each student draws one card and reflects
- Exit Ticket: Choose a card and write a short response
- Conflict Reset: Use red or yellow cards after disagreements
- Nature Walk: Use green cards outdoors
- Parent Conversations: Take-home connections
